The pope is dead

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well almost, but don't worry there will be another one along soon.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 31 March 2005 20:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Who cares?

― Nowell (Nowell), Thursday, 31 March 2005 20:53 (nineteen years ago) link

The Pope might!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 31 March 2005 20:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, I figured that.

― Nowell (Nowell), Thursday, 31 March 2005 20:54 (nineteen years ago) link

The daily reports of him trying to speak but failing, or looking wane and frail w/ a nutrient tube up his nose, are starting to turn morbid. Reporters should just say, "We are waiting for him to die, and will describe how bad his condition is every damn day until he does die."

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 31 March 2005 20:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Dude, he's been dead for years. It's all a Katholic konspeeracy.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 31 March 2005 20:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Really, I'm waiting for the Pope to turn into BrundleFly so he'll actually fall apart and he can start storing the bits of Pope that fell off in the Vatican fridge.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 31 March 2005 20:57 (nineteen years ago) link

I hear Christopher Eccleston's to replace him.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Okay, for a second I thought someone was getting a jump on April 1.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:01 (nineteen years ago) link

"Lots of Vaticans have a North"

― Sven Basted (blueski), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:02 (nineteen years ago) link

jeez, i thought you were serious! i bet toby that he'd be dead within two weeks of easter, and was thinking *yes! i was SO right!*, which makes me a really bad catholic and means i'm going to hell.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Good God. Popes used to die like fucking flies, all the time. This one's making such a big deal out of it, and quite a hash may I add.

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:24 (nineteen years ago) link

Speaking of which, one wonders if any cardinal's recommended a certain
erbal remedy to help with his pain?

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:25 (nineteen years ago) link

he's received last rights so this thread will at least be true within a day, I suspect

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Does he have the right to remain silent?

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:28 (nineteen years ago) link

He has to fight for his right to party, though.

― Leon Bluth (Ex Leon), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:30 (nineteen years ago) link

another one will pope up.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:32 (nineteen years ago) link

show him that old picture of elijah wood again! It has always worked in the past! The one where he is wearing his Amish hat!

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Speaking of which, one wonders if any cardinal's recommended a certain
erbal remedy to help with his pain?

The pope is having breathing problems (a tube down his throat, apparatively), which would interfere with the administration of a certain herbal palliative. But he is also on a feeding tube, so other...treatments could be administered that way.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:36 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.studio52.gr/cdimages/724388244022.jpg

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:40 (nineteen years ago) link

er, that is the cover to a single that I had forgotten I knew about, "The Pope Does Not Smoke Dope"

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:41 (nineteen years ago) link

foight the real enemy!

― latebloomer: AKA Sir Teddy Ruxpin, Former Scientologist (latebloomer), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:44 (nineteen years ago) link

another one will pope up.

that made snot come out my nose. well done.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:48 (nineteen years ago) link

er, that is the cover to a single that I had forgotten I knew about, "The Pope Does Not Smoke Dope"

I had that stuck in my head out of nowhere the other day!

― What we want? Sex with T.V. stars! What you want? Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:55 (nineteen years ago) link

I always thought it was done by Gregory Hines, though...

― What we want? Sex with T.V. stars! What you want? Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Thursday, 31 March 2005 21:56 (nineteen years ago) link

What we need here is a little Popetimism

― Sven Basted (blueski), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:08 (nineteen years ago) link

But who's waiting in the wings...?

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/pope-dan.jpg

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:28 (nineteen years ago) link

He's been given last rites.

Apparently, according to every news network, this is 1/10000000 th as important as Terri Schiavo kicking the bucket.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:29 (nineteen years ago) link

wait until you read my one-act play: Terri Schiavo & The Pope Fistfighting In Heaven. Or comic book. I haven't decided yet. They could fight ghost pirates together.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:31 (nineteen years ago) link

I wish nature would put him out of his (and our) misery. I've been getting really fed up with the "Pope isn't very well" stories these last few weeks, months, years. I mean what age is he, 84? He's had a good innings and clearly his time has come. I hate seeing old people in obvious agony, but what's worse is people pleading for that agony to be prolonged.

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Does the whole anointed by God thing preclude resignation?

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:57 (nineteen years ago) link

I wonder if all the same kinds of jokes would be made if this was some insanely powerful mullah or the dalai lama wasting away in pain.

Not trying to stir shit, just curious.

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:00 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost
If you resign you have to work for the other side.

And leaving the devil's service is never easy.

― Frogman Henry, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Apparently not. I thought so, but I read recently he could abdicate. He clearly should've done a few years ago - he isn't really fulfilling his duties adequately is he?

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:01 (nineteen years ago) link

He's fufilling God's will, whatever that might be.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:05 (nineteen years ago) link

pope bono in '05

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Sorry, that was an xpost x5

― Crackity (Crackity Jones), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

many xposts
I wonder if all the same kinds of jokes would be made if this was some insanely powerful mullah or the dalai lama wasting away in pain.

Yes and no. The point you're going for here (reverse racism, 'oh, it's OK to make fun of white/European religious leaders') is a non-starter, I think.

Fewer westerners are familiar with big-time leaders of Islam or Hinduism, so you're not going to be bombarded with it 24/7 and there will be fewer jokes (most Terri Schiavo/Pope jokes are driven by the constant and frustrating media barrage). And more than a few westerners would dance with glee at the news of any Islamic religious leader in pain.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah who the fuck are all these dudes?

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2005/03/30/international/gay.xlaerge1.jpg

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:11 (nineteen years ago) link

I dunno, but you can get 1,000/1 on the guy on the right getting the white smoke.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:13 (nineteen years ago) link

I bet several are Tottenham supporters.

― Frogman Henry, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:14 (nineteen years ago) link

I'll give you one clue: they all hate gay people.

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

I think the guy in the middle is The Honorable Lama Lumpo Smythe-Finkel of the Serious Hat Order.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/03/31/international/worldspecial/31gay.html

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Would someone please prepare an image of The pope, anakin skywayler, obi wan and yoda together like the end of Return of the Jedi?

thx

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:25 (nineteen years ago) link

The pope is dated.

All that cheesy homophobia, hasn't lasted well.

― Frogman Henry, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:29 (nineteen years ago) link

And add Terri as Princess Leia.

x-post

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:29 (nineteen years ago) link

He's been dead for years. They've been lugging him round Weekend-at-Bernie's style since 1997 and nobody's picked it.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:34 (nineteen years ago) link

*xpost*

In the slave girl, outfit, natch.

― carson dial (carson dial), Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Interfaith agreement is unusual in Israel.

― kingfish, Thursday, 31 March 2005 23:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 24 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Ba-zing!

― Matt Chesnut (Matt Chesnut), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:49 (nineteen years ago) link

ya think this will make anyone remember Pope John Paul I?

― kingfish van pickles (Kingfish), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:55 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.aciprensa.com/Banco/images/jpii-corono.jpg

from 27 years ago...

― kingfish van pickles (Kingfish), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:58 (nineteen years ago) link

That was really interesting. Thanks.

xpost

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:58 (nineteen years ago) link

anybody else see that thing this week about the kremlin wanting to assasinate pjp2 back in the 80s?

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 05:59 (nineteen years ago) link

"Get PopeAlert on your phone!"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 06:01 (nineteen years ago) link

The Kremlin? Why, because JP2 is the head of a large religion? Silly USSR.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 06:02 (nineteen years ago) link

come on pope I haven't got all day

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 07:18 (nineteen years ago) link

So is he allowed to have like morphine and stuff?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 07:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Vatican has called a press conference for "late morning" (Rome time).

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 1 April 2005 07:20 (nineteen years ago) link

latest from Vatican: Pope is in "state of septic shock"

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 07:30 (nineteen years ago) link

pope-ah in a coma, i know, i know, it's serious

Report: Pope in Coma
22 minutes ago

VATICAN CITY - Pope John Paul II was in a coma Friday, Italian news agency Apcom said citing unidentified sources.

Earlier Friday the Vatican had said that the pope suffered heart failure during treatment for a urinary tract infection and was in "very serious" condition.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 07:53 (nineteen years ago) link

get it over with, old man. i'm a-flying to kracow next week and don't want the place on lockdown.

― N_RQ, Friday, 1 April 2005 07:54 (nineteen years ago) link

oh dude you're fucked

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 07:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Surely that last photo is Sting?

― mms (mms), Friday, 1 April 2005 08:07 (nineteen years ago) link

The BBC News site is asking Your views: Pope given last rites and I'm thinking "yes he probably was"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 08:11 (nineteen years ago) link

He's getting better!! PAPAL REDUX

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 08:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Autumn Almanac is on stellar form on this thread.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 April 2005 09:22 (nineteen years ago) link

yeah, I bet the pope feels silly, now.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 1 April 2005 10:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Minally we get Robbie Coltrane to be the Pope. Phew.

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 1 April 2005 10:08 (nineteen years ago) link

the pope must diet

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 1 April 2005 10:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Albino Luciani is a complete hero of mine. Fuck JPII.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 April 2005 10:10 (nineteen years ago) link

markelbynkus

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 1 April 2005 10:11 (nineteen years ago) link

i don't think fucking the pope's allowed

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 1 April 2005 10:14 (nineteen years ago) link

George Ringo I is waiting in the wings...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 1 April 2005 10:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Evening Standard billboard: POPE UPDATE
Evening Standard headline: POPE STILL CATHOLIC

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Y'know, for a bloke who believes in the afterlife he's fucking clinging on to this one.

― Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:51 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=&line2=Is+the+Pope&line3=dead+yet%3F%3F&line4=

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:51 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=&line2=Is+the+Pope&line3=dead+yet??

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Bah.

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Hang on, that's a jpeg generator product, and they don't want you to LINK TO IT?

(hint: Cut/paste above pic link from 'properties' into browser address)

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:56 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=Remote+pic+linking&line2=makes+baby&line3=jesus+cry%3F%3F&line4=
Try with this one.
http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=Remote+pic+linking&line2=makes+baby&line3=jesus+cry%3F%3F&line4=

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:58 (nineteen years ago) link

It's supposed to be this one....

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/makesign1.php?line1=&line2=Is+the+Pope&line3=dead+yet??

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:59 (nineteen years ago) link

But the .gif that it returns is great too:
http://www.aboyandhiscomputer.com/nohotlink.gif

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 1 April 2005 11:59 (nineteen years ago) link

On the occasion of JP2's urinary tract infection:

"The Pope's Penis," Sharon Olds

It hangs deep in his robes, a delicate
clapper at the center of a bell.
It moves when he moves, a ghostly fish in a
halo of silver sweaweed, the hair
swaying in the dark and the heat -- and at night
while his eyes sleep, it stands up
in praise of God.

(I first read this in a contemporary poetry class in college, taught by a poet in his 70s, who countered the inevitable snickering with "now, now, let's be mature.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 13:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Are we going to see his regeneration live on TV?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 1 April 2005 14:10 (nineteen years ago) link

maybe this is why eccleston quit.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 1 April 2005 14:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Pope was a goalie, thus I kinda like him.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 April 2005 15:07 (nineteen years ago) link

He's dead.

RIP.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Still waiting on official word from the Vatican ...

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:44 (nineteen years ago) link

BBC appear to be terribly wrong footed by him not dying conveniently before news night and in the absence of any other news are running 20 minutes of obituary anyway.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 1 April 2005 20:49 (nineteen years ago) link

eight years pass...

Kinda lol but mostly blud

― gelatinate mess (darraghmac), Monday, 27 January 2014 18:38 (ten years ago) link

not even the funniest pope story of the day

― wins, Monday, 27 January 2014 18:43 (ten years ago) link

eight years pass...

No he isn't

Pope rallies from knee pain to proclaim 10 new saints https://t.co/8X8CemOmsS
— The Independent (@Independent) May 15, 2022

― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 17 May 2022 11:05 (one year ago) link

is that Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?

― StanM, Tuesday, 17 May 2022 11:24 (one year ago) link

The Pope Emeritus isn't even dead yet! He kinda looked like he was though, even during his papacy.

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 17 May 2022 15:30 (one year ago) link

one year passes...

https://lapsi.al/2023/08/27/rama-zbulon-pa-dashje-foton-qe-mban-ne-ekranin-e-kompjuterit-te-tij/

Albanian PM Rama inadvertently reveals desktop wallpaper of meteorite striking pope

― anvil, Monday, 28 August 2023 11:21 (seven months ago) link

Thought this would be about that Argentine Bolsonaro wannabe that The Guardian is publicising for some reason

― imago, Monday, 28 August 2023 11:39 (seven months ago) link

pictures of popes gazing haplessly at the arriving meteor

― Monthly Python (Tom D.), Monday, 28 August 2023 12:12 (seven months ago) link

The plural of Pope is "peeps"

― I can't turn a fart into a question (Neanderthal), Monday, 28 August 2023 12:54 (seven months ago) link

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