The Apprentice

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Is anyone watching this. I have to say that I dislike absolutely everyone on this show but it is addictive.

Davel (Davel), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 10:44 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Is this the Alan Sugar prog? If so, yes.

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 10:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Yeah, the Alan Sugar show. It is pretty amazing that Alan Sugar comes accross as the least annoying person in the show.

Davel (Davel), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 10:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Also is it the Law that people have to call him Sir Alan?

Davel (Davel), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 10:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The week with the prototype toys was awesome.

"I just think I need to re-pitch it for the rest of the team to love it as much as I do."

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 10:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Not only was she out of the programme, she will probably never get a management type job ever!

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 10:52 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

As someone whose employer has chosen to FILL EVERY MANAGMENT POSITION WITH PEOPLE JUST LIKE HER IN THE NAME OF "DIVERSITY" I disagree completely.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 10:55 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i think i found dragon's den more repeat-watchable, bcz of the sniping between the dragons

(also i had less trouble convincing myself that the dragons - none of whom i'd ever heard of — really were successful venture capitalists: sugar belongs in that other category, "successful" men we love to laugh at bcz we can SO see the flaws in the "success=deserved success" assumption) (which vexes me bcz the laugh is somewhat on US in the end)

mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 11:01 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

loved dragons den, but both us and uk aprentice are so much more watchble. I liked the fact that the US show came down to the two nicest people out of the group. I am a little upset at the way that brit girls have so completely failed to work as a team.

lukey (Lukey G), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 11:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

(to be fair i've only caught one-and-a-half uk apprentices and missed ALL the us ones)

one of the things i liked in DD wz the sheer range of hopeless projects they were faced with (or, more upsettingly, not-bad projects proposed by impossible people)

mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 11:17 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i feel if sugar had pitched to the dragons he'd have had his ass handed back to him!!

dragon 1: alan, this idea —
AS: SIR alan!
d1: what?
AS: call me SIR alan please!
d1: excuse me, aren't you here to ask for something from US?
AS: excuse me SIR ALAN

mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 11:20 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

It's kind of like semophore with cards.

My team hate it.

The kids hate it.

That's the one to go for then!

Davel (Davel), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 11:43 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"It's so close, I think we've got to take a risk!"

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 11:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

actually i kind of loved her for that!! that's how *i* think!!

mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 11:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Except that it wasn't really that close, was it... 240 to 360.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 11:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

bless her!

but still "everyone hates it = GO TEAM GO!" wz pretty much my unspoken secret motto at wire

mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 12:01 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

What was with that whole spitting your 100 hundred votes thing, is that normal, surely it is easier just to vote for one or the other?

Davel (Davel), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 12:52 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Yes, but if she voted 99 to 1 in favour of the cards, and everyone else was 60 to 40 for the robot, the cards would win. She was trying to rig the vote, basically.

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 12:55 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

We saw two people write down votes of 80/20 in favour of the robot, and the woman with the long neck (Maureen?) admitted she had split them 50/50 so she had no bias for presenting. That means the cards only got 150 from the remaining three women - including the "leader" who I can't believe would give

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 12:59 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

give? give what?

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 13:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I definitely typed "less than 80 to the cards" at the end of that...

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 2 March 2005 13:03 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...
A little while later, I have to say it's the most watchable thing on at the moment...

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 31 March 2005 14:55 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

shits going down tonight boys. or was it last night.

i do speak FACTS, Thursday, 31 March 2005 15:04 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Umm, what was that you speak of?

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 4 April 2005 07:30 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Even Sugar's looking bored with the whole business now. He wants an Amstrad person as opposed to a Cartier or a Rolls-Royce person.

Perhaps they'll draft in Paul Anka next week to do his "I don't care if it's Pope John Paul II. I'm the only important one on that stage" routine.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 4 April 2005 12:33 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Some of the contestants have their own web pages. The quality is... variable.

James (includes a blog
...and, er, Paul

mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Monday, 4 April 2005 14:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Right, so this'll be a future programme, right?

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 4 April 2005 15:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

.. except Raj is already off the show, so I guess not.

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 4 April 2005 15:15 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Right Miriam must die, I absolutely HATE websites that automatically resize yr browser window when you click on them!! GRRRRR.

Lucretia My Reflection (Lucretia My Reflection), Monday, 4 April 2005 15:33 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Heh. I had Miriam down as a potential winner, but reading between the lines on hers, I guess not.

Oh, and from Raj's ...
PS Please try to ignore the photo's - no I'm not after a modelling contract - the website needed some colour and that was the only quick solution!

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 08:45 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Raj isn't off the show yet, though has had final warning from Sugar.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 08:48 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Marcello, you only exist to correct my mistakes it seems...


mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 08:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Oh, and on the FFS! tip..

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 08:50 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Saira's going to win it, isn't she?

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 08:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

To be honest, I'd bet on Paul. I don't know why, and Miriam's the only one that's impressed me as such, but it's an odd world we're watching there.

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 08:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

my friend T - who is not much inclined to worship businessmen, success or authority - says she feels a bit sorry for sugar

mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 09:15 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Amstrad share prices apparently took a major fall following that business with the 10-CD multiplayer thing which has been considered "incontrovertibly naff."

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 09:21 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

There are worrying rumours elsewhere on the interweb (such as p0pb1tch) giving strong hints Saira makes the final two at least - there's debate over whether it's actually over yet or not.

She's utterly vile though, and it's hard to see what talents she has. Were it not for Rachel's mind-map she surely couldn't have survived the Jukebox week, and almost every other time in the bottom three it really should be her.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 09:24 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Certainly she would have gone then had it not been for Rachel's David Brent dance in particular. Or the producers saying we've got to keep her in there to keep the programme interesting.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 09:32 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Yes, sometimes comedy is not stranger than real-life...

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 09:34 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I'd have said Miriam, but her website suggests not... so Tim, then. I could see him as an Amstrad man. But I can certainly see Saira making the final two, on sheer dogged persistence alone.

mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 12:44 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Oh Tim! Every time I see him on that prog, I go "WHO'S HE?"

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 12:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Saira would have to be the winner as X weeks of her antics on air have made her unemployable by absolutely anyone else ever (popbitch says she's a former poster there). However, I like the other remaining girl as the boys don't see that she is competing with them and don't notice that she's ticking all the boxes.

suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 12:59 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Oh, I can see a future for Saira compering the main stage at Birmingham Pride at around 4 in the afternoon. "Let me see those HANDS in the AIR", etc etc.

mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:15 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

.. with a clipboard and a clicky counter..

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

and a mind-map!

mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:22 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i'm sticking to this thread like SHIT TO A BLANKET

mrteasyweasy, Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:26 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

So who got canned last night?

suzy (suzy), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The one I keep forgetting his name. Short fella. Not Paul.

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Not based on that picture. It's the Amanda Platell factor again.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 28 April 2005 10:27 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

What, buck teeth?

suzy (suzy), Thursday, 28 April 2005 11:25 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

James is going to be back live on the Ideal World shopping channel tonight at 10pm, for an hour of "Fabulous Fleeces" - flogging no less than 15 different varieties of wolf jacket. Sky channel 634, NTL 855 and Freeview Channel 22.

On his blog, he also dismisses the "final four" theory as "urban myth".

mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Thursday, 28 April 2005 12:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Miriam's site has gone 'oversubscribed'...

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 28 April 2005 12:31 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Rumour: They filmed everybody on the same day getting into the loser's cab.


And when Sebastian (I think) left, they gave the impression that he - as with everyone - got straight in the cab and went home, but the following morning there was a goodbye not from him written in lipstick on a mirror in the house.

Ergo, they get to go home and change or pack or whatever after being fired, but that looks like shit telly so they pretend it doesn't happen.

I missed last night due to forgetting to watch it. So, it's Saira and Tim then? I thought it'd be James and Miriam, but my g/f told me I'd just "picked the posh boy and the pretty girl" subconsciously...

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 28 April 2005 12:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Thank fuck for that, says the entire right-thinking community of the UK. Christ, she was vile.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 20:09 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Paul Torrisi is this year's Victor Ebuwa!

But yeah, Tim deserved to win that.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 20:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

shit, shit, shit, i was at my godson's birthday party tonight. shit. still: it's repeated at the weekend, innit? ooh. good.

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 20:27 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Paul = Victor, Dom OTM. The guy you think people will hate but is obviously charismatic enough to carry it through.

I missed Miriam being fired when I was away, the follow-up show made her look hard-done-to.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 20:33 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Sugar on the panel discussion afterwards: "Tim got the job, but Paul still thinks he's got it."

According to this morning's Metro he's offered Saira a job as well anyway, so there you go. Mind you, last night's task was pretty much a one-horse race from the word go.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:14 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

.. except for Tim shifting no tickets up till that morning.

(I was subconsiously willing him "Go to t'College!" which he did.)

Ah well. Big Brother starts in 3 weeks or thereabouts.

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:38 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Ah, that would be a good time for suicide.

Was Saira told to pick Paul to help her just so they could have a bust-up on screen?

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:44 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Boy was she angling for points by doing that!

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

oh and Alan Sugar's face spoke these words about Paul "I dropped Miriam for this berk?"

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 May 2005 06:59 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Moral: don't employ anyone who reminds you of you when you were his age.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 5 May 2005 07:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Paul in this context was being insubordinate to a ridiculous degree. He played up no matter what Saira asked him to do and contradicted her in front of clients. You can't really do that, even if said manager is a total gobshite who spits when speaking.

suzy (suzy), Thursday, 5 May 2005 07:07 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"You can't just walk round Covent Garden with a megaphone every time I give you a task to do."

The most interesting stuff, I thought, in the follow-up show was the women (Miriam in particular) asserting "business" women were terrible bosses - a point I think was made in the latest 'Kate sacked' thread. I didn't actually think Paul was all that bad. Saira picked him, allegedly, as a salesman but then (having decided she didn't like what he was doing) sat on him to the extent he struggled to sell anything. Nice also to see her admit last night that he did play a part in the sales in the art gallery, and that therefore she'd lied to SAS in the boardroom.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 5 May 2005 07:38 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I thought she said "women make terrible teams" more.

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 May 2005 07:44 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


Added to last week's interview where she admitted to lying on her CV. Was she on valium when SAS gave his spiel about "I don't like liars, I don't like bullshitters..."?

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 5 May 2005 07:45 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

(xpost) That was markedly obvious when, on a gender-separated task, the woman leading a team instantly made another woman her PA whereas the men went into all hands on deck mode.

suzy (suzy), Thursday, 5 May 2005 07:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Actually, this was the opposite of the first US series - men were the first 5 or 6 fired, and for the same reasons. Too much testosterone, not enough teamwork.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 5 May 2005 07:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

Series 1 of Apprentice UK is currently on Dave (formerly UKTV2) at 9 on Thursdays. Saira Khan, you've been gone too long...

Dom Passantino, Friday, 19 October 2007 10:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

She does some sort of pseudo Business "game" on kids TV right now.

Mark G, Friday, 19 October 2007 10:38 (eleven years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Karren Brady, the chief executive of Birmingham City Football Club, is to take over from Margaret Mountford as an adviser to Lord Sugar on The Apprentice.
Brady to take on Apprentice TV role
Birmingham City Football Club's Chief Executive Karren Brady is to take over from Margaret Mountford on The Apprentice

Karren Brady, the chief executive of Birmingham City Football Club, is to take over from Margaret Mountford as an adviser to Lord Sugar on The Apprentice.

Ms Mountford quit at the end of the last series to pursue studies.

A spokeswoman for production company talkbackTHAMES said that 40-year-old Ms Brady - called in some quarters 'The First Lady of Football' - would take over as an adviser for the sixth series.

"Lord Sugar has decided to appoint Karren Brady, who has appeared in The Apprentice before," she said.

Ms Brady will accompany public relations executive Nick Hewer in monitoring candidates during their tasks.

In March 2006 she was chosen as team leader on a version of the BBC show for Comic Relief, where she led her team to victory over the boys' team, raising more than £750,000 for charity.


Like BANG! Bust 'em in the wang like it aint no thang (a hoy hoy), Friday, 18 September 2009 11:54 (nine years ago) Permalink

Anyone watching the BBC4 version of the Apprentice called "Design for Life" with Philippe Starck as the Sir Alan? It's pretty good, despite 50% of it being shots of people walking in and out of train stations, talking about how much they want this opportunity etc etboringc.

Contrary to Apprentice form, though, the most irritating little shit got booted off in the first week. There are plenty left, mind..
Philippe Starck is pleasingly French & crazy.

Not the real Village People, Friday, 18 September 2009 16:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

nine years pass...

2018 starts tonight

Age 22
Occupation Owner, Nut Milk Brand...

koogs, Wednesday, 3 October 2018 17:06 (seven months ago) Permalink

They bought a fucking octopus and *still* didn't lose. I hate all of them.

ailsa, Wednesday, 3 October 2018 21:01 (seven months ago) Permalink

"All I know is, I'm not going home."

The moment it came out of her mouth I predicted that would be on tonight's Your Fired.

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Wednesday, 3 October 2018 21:05 (seven months ago) Permalink

so much stubble...

koogs, Saturday, 13 October 2018 17:40 (seven months ago) Permalink

Easiest pick this time..

Mark G, Sunday, 14 October 2018 09:48 (seven months ago) Permalink

The clean shaven one?

koogs, Sunday, 14 October 2018 10:36 (seven months ago) Permalink

Fire in the Hole was, at least, a good name.

koogs, Saturday, 20 October 2018 14:24 (seven months ago) Permalink

"These aren't very good, we should make them better"
"Shut up and get on with it"

"These aren't very good, we aren't paying for them"

also if you're in shepherd's bush, the majority of the footfall is on the bit between the central line station and westfield, not the green (site of 1908 world cup football, alleged plague pit)

(although the bit by westfield might be private land, so you'd need permission)

as for the Bs, when have you ever seen a straight donut?

koogs, Saturday, 20 October 2018 15:25 (seven months ago) Permalink

Whichever team seems to be doing really well on the show, that's the losing team.

Anyway, for all that the losing team captain was all "I'm clearly safe, I made the majority of the sales and got "well done" " smugness, I don't recall ever having a situation where she clearly brought in candidates that she'd quite like to get rid of, as opposed to 'least contributors' etc, to the extreme where AlSug refuses and brings everyone back in...

Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2018 10:47 (six months ago) Permalink

Everyone this year is useless. Most baffled by any love for Jackie, who is a cartoon version of a 'strong businesswoman' she read about once in Closer.

Most illuminating was just how selectively edited they were last night to make them look good. The sing-along to Summer Nights that was shown on You're Fired was absolutely horrible.

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Thursday, 1 November 2018 11:12 (six months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

i could see the colourful art setting off the black boxes of the hi-fi stuff, i don't think that was a bad decision, other than they couldn't read the bloke's mind.

and there's nowt wrong with selling the gummy bears to the person who saw it first.

koogs, Wednesday, 21 November 2018 21:47 (six months ago) Permalink


Mark G, Wednesday, 21 November 2018 23:11 (six months ago) Permalink

i could see the colourful art setting off the black boxes of the hi-fi stuff, i don't think that was a bad decision, other than they couldn't read the bloke's mind.

The bloke seemed like a complete dick. All that 'innovation. provenance. whatever' stuff they were supposed to try and reflect in the art. What does that even mean? And then sounding off about his 'objectively' better sound system (wonder if he's on the Hoffman forum?).

Bloody Snail, Thursday, 22 November 2018 00:11 (six months ago) Permalink

"Does anyone have any direct experience of Glaswegians?", oh do fuck off.

ailsa, Thursday, 22 November 2018 15:02 (six months ago) Permalink

This weeks' prize (OK last week now) was a "private cinema viewing"

Basically, a tent fastened onto a bandstand in a random park someplace, and the movie was Roger Corman's "Little Shop of Horrors" from 1961.

Basically, this movie was made as a bet, to film and produce a movie in one day. Jack Nicholson is in it. The budget is low, even by Corman standards (and he was notorious for low budget movies).

I wonder if the winning team got the message?

Mark G, Tuesday, 4 December 2018 12:37 (five months ago) Permalink


Mark G, Tuesday, 4 December 2018 12:38 (five months ago) Permalink

It's also one of those films that have fallen into the public domain, so anyone can screen it without paying a penny for it.

Ward Fowler, Tuesday, 4 December 2018 12:42 (five months ago) Permalink

Yup, got it from Poundland myself.

Mind you, twas a long time ago, a pound was a pound then..

Mark G, Tuesday, 4 December 2018 13:55 (five months ago) Permalink

Sabrina should win this if there's any justice in the world. My fear is she will crumble in the interviews next week in the presence of an angry Claude.

Grandpont Genie, Thursday, 6 December 2018 13:20 (five months ago) Permalink

They're all unremittingly useless and awful this year (yeah, OK, every year). Still convinced Kayoade would have walked the old format.

ailsa, Thursday, 6 December 2018 13:30 (five months ago) Permalink

i am convinced none of them have watched previous series - the Sex Sells thing has always been frowned upon by sugar / brady

koogs, Thursday, 6 December 2018 16:23 (five months ago) Permalink

Remember the guy who couldn't stop mentioning that he'd been to Sandhurst? Or at least had been accepted to Sandhurst. Practically every idea he had was 'sex sells'. Even when he was on one of the two finalist's teams he said something like "let's go down a sexual route" regarding - coincidentally - a box of luxury chocolates.

Chequers Plays Pop (snoball), Thursday, 6 December 2018 19:44 (five months ago) Permalink

Poor Sabrina, picked after kurran

koogs, Monday, 17 December 2018 19:24 (five months ago) Permalink

Also, these people are selfie-obsessed

koogs, Monday, 17 December 2018 19:28 (five months ago) Permalink

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