Chicken Bear!

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Hanle y Deus created him. Ned dubbed him the ILE Mascot. All y'all voted him yer Dream Date (Male). And Kim wants pizza bears, too!

Yet we've had a dearth of info about Mr. Chicken Bear. Fill in the blanks, ILE!

Tadeusz Suchodolski, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

I don't remember ordering a pizza bear?

Kim, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

In the "cheap, healthy lunches" thread. You thought Richard said "pizza bears," remember?

Tadeusz Suchodolski, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

A dearth of info, pah! The Chicken Bear *is* the Chicken Bear. You want more, you need more? If god can lurk in a burning bush and tell Moses "I am that I am," then the Chicken Bear can simply just be.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

I did? hmm... I really haven't had enough sleep this week have I?

Kim, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

Oh no wait.. I'm not crazy (*you're the one that's crazy*) it was Nicole. She and I apparently share the same brain tho because I totally *would* have said the exact same thing if I'd seen it first.

Kim, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

No, it was me who thought Ricky T was talking about Pizza Bears. I may live close to Canada, but I haven't actually turned into Kim yet. ;-)

Nicole, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

I do think chickenbears must look a lot like that little Radiohead mascot thingie with the pointy teeth. Which maybe is an actual bear come to think of it, but it's all weird so maybe it's a chickenbear. You never know.

Kim, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

I have seen the chickenbears penis .

anthony, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

Well of *course* you have...

Kim, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

i have . it was rather small

anthonyeaston, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

The chickenbear's penis - cut or uncut?

I'm quite disappointed. I was hoping for something really wacky like a cloaca instead.

Kim, Thursday, 29 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

it was sheathed like a bowie knife.

anthony, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

chicken bears are all blue meat

Mike Hanle y, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

I don't think I should have looked at this thread at work.

james, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

Chickenbear (latin: chicken-bearus-majorus).

These creatures are usually found in the the state of Montana. It is possible that Mr. Anthony Easton may have encountered one of these strange beasts, though only two sitings have ever been made in Canada. The most famous incident occuring in Moose Jaw, Saskatchwenn in the year of 1968, where it is reported that a squabble of chickenbears marched through the town centre, and for several hours performed mating rituals. The pictures that were taken on this day were all mysteriously lost at the local film developing shop. Unfortunately, to this day no photographic evidence exists of the Chicken bear.

The most common form of the Chickenbear is the lesser spotted species which has a chickens head and the body of a grizzly bear. There exist two other variations, the two-headed chickenbear as reported by Dennis Peters who had been drinking heavily one evening in Great Falls, Montana, his statement to the police is well known to many Chickenbear enthusiasts or Twinks. "Dude, I'm telling you, man! It was fucked up! This Goddamn Chickenbear had two heads, man! Dude! It was one scary son of a bitch! Shit! Tried to steal my keg!!!".

The chickenbear with a chickens body and a bears head was once spotted in the famous "Fort Peck Reservoir Incident". Two forest rangers reported observing a squabble of Lesser Spotted Chickenbers standing in a circle, whilst the unusual Chickenbear chanted what sounded like "Raise Henley Day us, lead us to Door". Deputy Ranger Maurice Kirby then claimed that the Chickenbears climbed into a space craft which they had managed to raise from the bottom of the reservior.

Sightings of Chickenbears are now few and far between. It is interesting to note that since the first sighting of a Chickenbear in 1789, no creature has ever been captured dead or alive, adding to their mythical status. Though some Twinks claim that Chickenbears have been captured and experimented on by the Government.

The Chicken Bear Information Foundation, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

james that was FUCKING BRILLIANT.

jess, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

He's a Publicity Whore.

Bearchicken, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

A rare photo from the files:
http://thedeadites.net/imgs/chknbr1.jpg

Trust No One, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

That is *SO* obviously a bear wearing a chicken mask. Morons.

Bearchicken, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

Though vehemently discounted by the Hanleyistic theory of species origin, reproduction between bears and chickenbears has been documented suggesting an on-going interspecies attraction.
http://thedeadites.net/imgs/chknbr2.jpg

Noone here but us. ., Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

Am I the only one who loves the look on that chicken's face. Actually it's a rooster but I suppose that's a whole 'nother thread.

Samantha, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe heh heh!

Kim, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

Needless to say I am highly pleased at this thread

Mike Hanle y, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

You forgot the small colony of chicken bears that ravage the streets of edmonton at night. There clarion calls haunt the night.

anthony, Saturday, 1 December 2001 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

eight months pass...
Welcome to Space Staion ILXOR Chickenbear!

jel -- (jel), Monday, 19 August 2002 18:28 (twenty years ago) link

i prefer chicken toaster

ron (ron), Tuesday, 20 August 2002 00:55 (twenty years ago) link

one month passes...
Chicken Bear! (Mark E H!!)

jel -- (jel), Sunday, 6 October 2002 16:58 (nineteen years ago) link

two months pass...
I just wanted to dig this thread up for the newcomers.

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 9 December 2002 20:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Very urgent question: Is the chicken bear 1) a migratory species, and 2) endangered?

j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 9 December 2002 20:28 (nineteen years ago) link

And is it Kosher?

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 9 December 2002 20:49 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd say it's endangered if that one pic is anything to go by.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 December 2002 20:54 (nineteen years ago) link

And is it Kosher?

IS chickenbear treyf or kosher?

Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 18:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I got busted at work this morning laughing uncontrollably at a picture of the bear-humping-chickenbear. The laughter just wouldn't stop!!!

Rooster=cock=COCKBEAR!!!!! ahahahahaha!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 18:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Chicken Bear!

http://members.lycos.co.uk/grrraham/chickenbear.jpeg

Graham (graham), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:00 (nineteen years ago) link

(That = real life photo for those that didn't attend last year's party. I've only just had that film developed. Also, PH34R ME suzy!)

Graham (graham), Friday, 13 December 2002 14:14 (nineteen years ago) link

ten months pass...
There needs to be a chickenbear revival.

Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 13:53 (eighteen years ago) link

I wonder if the captive breeding program has succeeded in reintroducing them to the wild.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 13:54 (eighteen years ago) link

I hope they don't take up with DJ Griz.

Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 13:56 (eighteen years ago) link

McTiernan has expressed interest in directing Alien vs Chickenbear!

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 13:56 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.geocities.com/wintermute_v031/huehnerbaer.txt

Herbstmute (Wintermute), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 14:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Whatever happened to pizza bear!

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Does anyone actually still care?

< /hating fun >

Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:18 (eighteen years ago) link

Fun Hates YOU!

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:23 (eighteen years ago) link

that drawing is great Herbstmute

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Seconded.

Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:35 (eighteen years ago) link

In Soviet Russia,

Fun Hates YOU!

What a country!

http://escapeholidays.com/tours/photo62.jpg

Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:42 (eighteen years ago) link

hey, what's the difference between a chickenbear & a chocobo anyway?

any why would Ally ride one into the sunset but not the other?

http://www.fffin.com/img/ffu/arvostelu/chocobo.jpg

Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:44 (eighteen years ago) link

You can never understand.

Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:45 (eighteen years ago) link

try me.

Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:52 (eighteen years ago) link

DJ Grizz gets all the chicks thats why.

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:58 (eighteen years ago) link

Chickenbear, we will never forget you. You are always in our hearts.

Official Cult of the Chickenbear (jel), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Sacrificing a live chickenbear comes to mind.

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:35 (eighteen years ago) link

dude, my favorite part of that movie was when the guy killed Marlon Brando right as they sacrificed a live chickenbear...


"This is the ENNNNNNNNNNNNNNND..."

Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:37 (eighteen years ago) link

We are against the harming of Chickenbears. During the past year our agents across the globe have been petitioning the WWF in order to have the Chickenbear recognised as an endangered speicies. We hope to have an adopt a Chickenbear scheme set-up to coincide with the next annual Chickenbear festival, which we will hope will be attended several celebrity supporters.

Friends of the Chickenbear (jel), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:41 (eighteen years ago) link

i am sad that the idea of "pizza bears" didn't go anywhere ... i am not a Deus, like hanle y!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 23:06 (eighteen years ago) link

chickenbear disappeared around the same time that osama bin laden did.

COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 23:07 (eighteen years ago) link

four months pass...
!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 15 March 2004 21:15 (eighteen years ago) link

this thread revival was brought to you in association with Starch-O's - full of starchy goodness, easy to eat hard to beat, that's Starch-O's!

stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 March 2004 21:24 (eighteen years ago) link

silly steve m -- starch-o's was bought out by lard-o's years ago. cause lard tastes better than starch.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 15 March 2004 21:46 (eighteen years ago) link

what? You mean, the two of you haven't heard of new "Cracklets"?(TM)

Why, it's the powerful zing of crack baked into a crunchy cheese cracker!

"Cracklets"(tm)! Guaranteed to have 15% more crack than the other leading snack food!

Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Monday, 15 March 2004 21:50 (eighteen years ago) link

from the makers of obese treats™
fun to eat
'til you can't see your feet¡

dyson (dyson), Monday, 15 March 2004 22:02 (eighteen years ago) link

all of these fine products are slathered in chicken bear grease of course

Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 15 March 2004 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link

slathered is a good word

stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 March 2004 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Also, from the makes of Cracklets, comes the new Cracklets Diet Program(tm)! Guaranteed to make you shed unwanted pounds and teeth you don't really need!

remember, with Cracklets Diet Program, "the Secret Is In The Crack!"(R)

Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Monday, 15 March 2004 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

also try new® crack-a-cola. now 178,238.72% more addictive¡
9 out of 10 psychotherapists can't tell the difference between crack-a-cola and the leading chinoto brand cola.

dyson (dyson), Monday, 15 March 2004 22:10 (eighteen years ago) link

you rASCals!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 04:53 (eighteen years ago) link

four months pass...
I was at Nandos at lunchtime. No chickenbear on the menu, but I did have some nummy chicken kidneys.

MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 5 August 2004 12:40 (eighteen years ago) link

ack! I mean livers. I made an offal mistake.

MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 5 August 2004 13:32 (eighteen years ago) link

hey where is Tad??

jel -- (jel), Thursday, 5 August 2004 16:51 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm wanted!

:-)

Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 6 August 2004 00:11 (eighteen years ago) link

one year passes...
We've received many letters concerned about the safety of the Chickenbear in light of the current Avian Flu outbreak. We hope the following information will set your mind at ease.

The Chickenbear is more growl than fowl (ho ho ho), that is whilst it has certain bird like qualities, it is in fact a mammal. Secondly, the Chickenbear hibernates rather than migrates, and is at no risk of either catching or spreading the 'flu, we hope they will simply sleep through the whole thing. Thirdly, we here at the CBIF have started a vaccination programme for any Chickenbear that we can find, not an easy task I can assure you, given the creatures increased rarity. In fact so far we've not seen a Chickenbear this fall, we believe that may just have decided to hibernate early this year.

Regards,
The CBIF

The Chicken Bear Information Foundation (jel), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 17:14 (sixteen years ago) link

http://askforjanice.com/photos/chknbr1.jpg

Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 17:22 (sixteen years ago) link

six years pass...

Google now reports 19,000 hits on "chickenbear". Signs of The End Times also increasing.

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/62500/Chicken-Bear-Dancing--62720.jpg

Aimless, Tuesday, 5 June 2012 03:08 (ten years ago) link

five years pass...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWDmQ5BVMAAfod0.jpg

mark s, Thursday, 15 February 2018 12:27 (four years ago) link

The universe increased in awesome power

Dean of the University (Latham Green), Thursday, 15 February 2018 13:35 (four years ago) link

oh my.

Manitobiloba (Kim), Thursday, 15 February 2018 16:54 (four years ago) link

three years pass...

Bears in chicken

Also, pizza.

Noel Emits, Sunday, 27 June 2021 20:17 (one year ago) link

seven months pass...

Never forget

Kim, Friday, 4 February 2022 02:11 (seven months ago) link

seven months pass...

I won.t

| (Latham Green), Friday, 9 September 2022 16:45 (two weeks ago) link

What of icemoth

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 September 2022 17:04 (two weeks ago) link

MAYBE - if its invoiced

| (Latham Green), Tuesday, 20 September 2022 12:17 (one week ago) link


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