Physically speaking, I'm pretty healthy - hale, hearty, up and at 'em - whatever phraseology you want to use. I can still hike up and down mountains with a pack on my back and put in my 12 or 15 miles.
But there's no use kidding myself. I'm well past halfway to dusty death. My skin is becoming inelastic. My hair is thinning out. My beard is shot with grey. I'm slower, take longer to heal and my wits are taking on a dull sheen.
Emotionally, I'm worn down to a nubbin. Not defeated, just tired. I could make the reasons for this much clearer, but there are parts of my life I have no intention sharing with ILx. If you had my life, you'd be tired, too.
If I have acquired any grounds for optimism, it's that I know my own worth by now. I'm like a well-made, well-worn hand tool with a handle burnished by use. There's a lot of good work left in me, if the world still has any interest in good work, which it often doesn't.
There's not as much profit to be wrung from my withered hams as there used to be. In that Darwinian sense, I'm expendable now. Fact.
There's still a lot of good love left in me, too, but I generally keep it in the family. They're the ones who will be there when I die. I'm not expendable to them.
Wish me a happy birthday. I won't be asking again.
― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 8 November 2004 06:54 (nineteen years ago) link
― Huk-L, Monday, 8 November 2004 07:00 (nineteen years ago) link
Happy birthday, though. May you have fifty more.
― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:05 (nineteen years ago) link
Read this book, plz. Tell me what you think of it. I read it when I was 25, and didn't understand, and was told by a mentor that I would understand in another 25 years.
― Kenan (kenan), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:05 (nineteen years ago) link
― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:08 (nineteen years ago) link
― LeCoq (LeCoq), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:11 (nineteen years ago) link
― jim wentworth (wench), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:13 (nineteen years ago) link
― Kenan (kenan), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:14 (nineteen years ago) link
― isadora (isadora), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:16 (nineteen years ago) link
― Kenan (kenan), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:18 (nineteen years ago) link
― LeCoq (LeCoq), Monday, 8 November 2004 07:24 (nineteen years ago) link
― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 8 November 2004 08:33 (nineteen years ago) link
― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 November 2004 09:20 (nineteen years ago) link
― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Monday, 8 November 2004 09:43 (nineteen years ago) link
― lukey (Lukey G), Monday, 8 November 2004 09:47 (nineteen years ago) link
― cºzen (Cozen), Monday, 8 November 2004 10:17 (nineteen years ago) link
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 8 November 2004 10:20 (nineteen years ago) link
― beanz (beanz), Monday, 8 November 2004 10:56 (nineteen years ago) link
― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:20 (nineteen years ago) link
― Cathy (Cathy), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:23 (nineteen years ago) link
― Matt (Matt), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:25 (nineteen years ago) link
― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:42 (nineteen years ago) link
― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 8 November 2004 13:07 (nineteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:03 (nineteen years ago) link
"The thing I love about getting older is, the birthday cake tastes better and better every year." - my mother
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:07 (nineteen years ago) link
― the apex of nadirs (Rock Hardy), Monday, 8 November 2004 15:14 (nineteen years ago) link
― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 8 November 2004 15:19 (nineteen years ago) link
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 8 November 2004 15:32 (nineteen years ago) link
― Madchen (Madchen), Monday, 8 November 2004 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link
― teeny (teeny), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:48 (nineteen years ago) link
Madchen, astoundingly, I 'get' the allusion. Thank goodness I've read Wodehouse.
Kenan, if your mentor declined to explain Steppenwolf to you, then I must fall in line with that judgement. It might be right or it might be wrong, but I'm not going to step in middle. Apart from that, the 'respect' duly received and appreciated.
Le Coq and nickalicious, thank you for calling me wise. Inuit women soften rawhide by chewing on it, so eventually it can be made into articles of use and beauty. Life has been chewing on me long enough that I'm almost soft enough to make something of.
Rumpy Pumpkin, I am glad my advice proved sound. It must have been in regard to a subject where I know which end is up. This is not always true.
apex of nadirs, happy birthday back at yer! I have a great fondness for November 8 and all its manifestations.
Matt, I'll raise a glass Ormskirkward. Do not fall into any ditches. You might hurt whoever is down there already.
Casuistry, my reaction to your wish for 'fifty more' is OH NO! OH NO! That's one briar patch I genuinely don't want to be thrown into. Not unless I can acquire a harem of adoring 70 year olds to fawn over me.
Huk, I impress myself. I'm glad to see I am not entirely alone in this regard.
One thing that is nice about the Internet is that I can mingle with ILxers without anyone being concious of the age difference. Well, that is to say, I am concious of it when I thumb through the thousands of posts devoted to mating rituals and their convolutions, and the thousands of other posts devoted to the tribal identifications of the current youth culture. But that's really incidental and unimportant.
Being here helps to remind me that I had learned just about everything I needed to know at age 25. From there on out it was just a matter of navigation and application, trying to keep the boat afloat and get somewhere - when the only map you've got is a picture in your head you half-doubt you ever got a good look at.
Fifty years of waking up breathing - it's a gift. I've got my share of sorrows, but thank god no regrets. Thanks again, everyone.
― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 8 November 2004 17:25 (nineteen years ago) link
― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Monday, 8 November 2004 17:27 (nineteen years ago) link
― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 8 November 2004 17:33 (nineteen years ago) link
― briania (briania), Monday, 8 November 2004 17:43 (nineteen years ago) link
― jel -- (jel), Monday, 8 November 2004 17:45 (nineteen years ago) link
― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 8 November 2004 18:03 (nineteen years ago) link
― oops (Oops), Monday, 8 November 2004 18:08 (nineteen years ago) link
you don't seem too old.
― RJG (RJG), Monday, 8 November 2004 18:09 (nineteen years ago) link
― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 8 November 2004 18:36 (nineteen years ago) link
― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 8 November 2004 18:53 (nineteen years ago) link
― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 8 November 2004 19:18 (nineteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Monday, 8 November 2004 20:14 (nineteen years ago) link
About to turn 60 on Saturday. My age now seems to me like an unconscionable pile of years. My childhood is so far behind me now it seems almost completely effaced by time and weariness.
The best thing I can say report is that my health is excellent for a being of my advanced age. Not like those prodigies who swim the English Channel at 60, but very encouraging nonetheless. I can still carry a pack up a steep trail almost as well as I did 30 years ago. I just pace myself differently.
However, I am old enough now that I can see over the horizon to where I shall eventually leave ordinary adulthood behind me and enter some new epoch that is more about staying alive than anything else. Thank goodness I am not there, yet, but it feels real to me in ways it didn't ten years ago. You may soon look forward to me posting daily reports on ilx about the state of my bowels and joints. When I do, you may all just FP me out of my misery. I'll understand.
― oh no! must be the season of the rich (Aimless), Friday, 7 November 2014 02:07 (nine years ago) link
Happy birthday and anniversary!
― carl agatha, Friday, 7 November 2014 03:03 (nine years ago) link
Happy birthday, you eminence grise!
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 7 November 2014 03:04 (nine years ago) link
I'm 65 today! uh, whoopee?
― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 9 November 2019 03:40 (four years ago) link
Happy birthday old man!!
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Saturday, 9 November 2019 03:41 (four years ago) link
happy birthday aimless! your op in itt is very, very good by the way. hope you've enjoyed your big day, you deserve it
― at home in the alternate future, (Karl Malone), Saturday, 9 November 2019 04:23 (four years ago) link
yes, happy birthday!
― Dan S, Saturday, 9 November 2019 04:26 (four years ago) link
Happy birthday, Aimless
― Brad C., Saturday, 9 November 2019 05:01 (four years ago) link
happy birthday, aimless!
― estela, Saturday, 9 November 2019 06:48 (four years ago) link
very happy birthday to you
― deems of internment (darraghmac), Saturday, 9 November 2019 10:30 (four years ago) link
Happy Birthday !
Hoping there's many more trails.
― Luna Schlosser, Saturday, 9 November 2019 12:01 (four years ago) link
happy birthday Aimless!
― Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 November 2019 12:10 (four years ago) link