The Official U.S. Election Eve Catch-All Thread for November 1st, 2004

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Dump everything that happens later today into this thread. Images, news articles, blog posts, shitty/funny political cartoons, etc. I'm starting this one because I will probably start 5-10 more otherwise.
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WILL Secretary of Health & Human Services Tommy Thompson suddenly announce the full legality and Administration support for drug reimportation from canada?

WILL John Kerry take the time at a campaign stop in Detroit, Michigan, to grab his crotch and suggest that the Preznit and those supporting him taste of "Deez Nutz"?

WILL Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge announce a rise in the Terror Threat to "Code Orange-and-a-Half", and that all Americans should take the day off work on tuesday to stay at home for 48 hours "...just in case."

WILL Theresa Heinz Kerry assault a paparazzi for making one-too-many hackneyed "ketchup" jokes?

WILL news reports surface of polling officials in certain contested counties in battleground states require all young attractive minority females to "put 'em on the glass" before being able to vote?

WILL the Ol' Dirty Bastard finally end his prolonged silence and make his endorsement known, thus ending weeks of media speculation?

WILL the Prenzit go out of his way to break his previous record of 2.650 misleading talking points per minute?

Confused? You won't be! After this episode, of "Soap!"
http://deseretnews.com/photos/1741802.jpg
Doot DOOT doot doo-DOOT, doo-doo-doot doot

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 07:42 (nineteen years ago) link

ONE MORE FUCKING DAY

oh, and the Redskins lost this time...

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 07:45 (nineteen years ago) link

as opposed to this one?

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 07:59 (nineteen years ago) link

I thought the other one was "for reference use only."

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:01 (nineteen years ago) link

i didn't see that one.

still, mine has a Richard Mulligan reference, so it's clearly better.

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:02 (nineteen years ago) link

http://wizardishungry.com/lol/dump%20bush.jpg


My parents mailed me a picture. This is Main Street, US practically... right down the road from a single room post office and the general store. Next to little league field.

(Rhode Island)

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:03 (nineteen years ago) link

...which went 2-1 for Gore, who won each county and nearly every town

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, hence my place disclaimer :D

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:06 (nineteen years ago) link

its just nice to see that its not just college students and faggots who are anxious to kick bush out

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:07 (nineteen years ago) link

I am missing all the excitement.

I missed the Red Sox elation, now the anti-Bush fervor. I long for my native land.

Laura E (laurae55), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:11 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.salon.com/news/sports/col/kaufman/2004/10/29/friday/index_np.html


Consider this: Every time the Boston Red Sox win the World Series in a presidential election year, Woodrow Wilson gets elected president. You can look it up: 1912 and 1916. Now the Sox have done it again. What's it mean? You read it here first: Woodrow Wilson in a landslide!

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Haha

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:15 (nineteen years ago) link

damn right. ain't no stroke that could ruin the presidential powers of a zombie Wilson. when even the undead would make a better head of the executive branch, you have problems.

plus, he has the endorsements of Zombie Ben Franklin and Zombie Milliard Fillmore! You wouldn't turn your back on the thoughts & wishes of our zombie founding fathers, would you?

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:17 (nineteen years ago) link

This whole thing has even Democrats who don't know a touchdown from a touch screen rooting hard for the battleground-state Green Bay Packers, who visit the Redskins Sunday.

yay. thank god he takes the time to reiterate moronic stereotypes, too

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:18 (nineteen years ago) link

bumposaurus

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:14 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/11/01/ohio.challengers.ap/index.html

Judge bars R'publican election challengers!

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:59 (nineteen years ago) link

yay! well done judge dlott (not a typo). no chance of this happening in florida though really, is there?

CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

ok, it's gotta be like 12:30pm on the east coast by now. anything happen yet?

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:36 (nineteen years ago) link

No. One of my coworkers just told me she isn't even registered to vote. Awesome. So, for the first time in a long time, Illinois will go Republican thanks to her.

Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:59 (nineteen years ago) link

some of the early voting turnouts have been great. there's about 2.15 million registered voters in Oregon, and at least 51% of all ballots mailed out were already returned by last Thursday. local election folks are aiming to get about 85% participation, either in Multnomah County(i.e. Portland) or Oregon in total.

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 19:54 (nineteen years ago) link

jesus h. christ. i was listening to that nut job g.gordon liddy while i drove to lunch. he had a meterologist on giving the weather report for the swing states. they were salivating over the possibility of rain in parts of ohio (such as columbus) that might drive down the democratic turnout.

Emilymv (Emilymv), Monday, 1 November 2004 19:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I just got two separate e-mails from high-school acquaintances who had trouble registering to vote. Both of them moved residences within the last month and thought that, even though they missed the registration deadline, the county would let them do so anyway because of their unique circumstances. I feel bad for them, really, but WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THAT?!? (Fortunately, one's in California and the other's in Illinois, so no big deal, but yeah.)

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:06 (nineteen years ago) link

they were salivating over the possibility of rain in parts of ohio (such as columbus) that might drive down the democratic turnout.

I was thinking about the weather this morning, actually -- but couldn't figure out why bad weather would affect one party's turnout more than another's. Is it because Democrats are more likely to be poor and thus more reliant on public transportation, which is that much more of a bitch when it's raining outside?

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Could someone explain to me why Americans need to register to vote? In Finland all you need to do to vote is to bring your ID with you to the election site.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:10 (nineteen years ago) link

because those in power wish to remain in power, and always have

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:11 (nineteen years ago) link

What's to stop you from going to multiple election sites?

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:13 (nineteen years ago) link

or using a fake ID to vote in someone else's stead/if you are not enfranchised?

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:14 (nineteen years ago) link

no national id

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:16 (nineteen years ago) link

why bad weather would affect one party's turnout more than another's
Because a lot of the registered Democratic voters wouldn't normally vote, but were guilted into it for this election.. They're literally fair-weather voters. Republicans tend to always vote Republican, without thinking. They know how important it is to support the party, no matter how fucked up it is.

dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:17 (nineteen years ago) link

You wouldn't turn your back on the thoughts & wishes of our zombie founding fathers, would you?

Please, the mobile deceased.

God, how glad I will be when this is OVER. My ballot's in (absentee, so I could look at my research while filling it out) and I'm about ready to shut off my voice mail to avoid more political phone messages.

Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:17 (nineteen years ago) link

What's to stop you from going to multiple election sites?

We're all appointed to a certain election site (my current site is right around the corner) depending on our place of residence, unless you vote in advance, which you can do anywhere, but then I guess they some computer thing there to mark that you've voted.

or using a fake ID to vote in someone else's stead/if you are not enfranchised?

Couldn't you do it anyway, even if the person is registered?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:19 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm telling you what's making me nervous right now.

Four years ago, I sat here in this building and looked at the electoral map, reflecting how for the first time since I've been following presidential politics, I didn't have one clue of who was going to win. Today, I'm looking at the electoral map, and again, I have no idea.

How did this country get so polarized? How can the US have two 49/49% elections in a row?

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:21 (nineteen years ago) link

our place of residence

how is this defined? what's to stop you from residing in more than one place?

Couldn't you do it anyway, even if the person is registered?

registration requires a signature, so you'd have to copy pretty well.

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:25 (nineteen years ago) link

part of it has to do with the fact that, as mention in other threads, many reporters/media companies have a vested interest in propagating the narrative that things are at tight as can be, and exactly as they were 4 years ago. except for the fact that we now have an incumbent with 4 years of history. a very tight race increases the drama, and thus the amount of attention paid to those telling you how that race is going.

part of the other thing is that people tend to live around others who think like them, for lack of a better way to put it.

xpost

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:26 (nineteen years ago) link

That reminds me that I must activate my army of robot drones.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:30 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm pretty hopeful. C4 did almost a whole news broadcast worth of American stuff, with this woman getting out Republican talking points about nobody knowing who Kerry is and his seeming lack of interest in running on his record (C4, bless it, seems not to know to call talking points such whatever side is using them). The man has nothing to hide and it's all searchable with Google, it's not as if a politically aware and motivated electorate can't do a bit of research. Man's only got so much airtime and most of that is taken up with duelling soundbites. We know this drill and anyway, a more informed electorate is a blessing for people in the media who actually want to delve into issues instead of working in an atmosphere where real questions are annoying.

So I Googled. In so many areas the man has a brilliant record, and in exposing Iran-Contra and in busting BCCI he's done the kind of defender-of-the-people work that drives the military-industrial complex and their Republican fuckbuddies NUTS. He's been pissing them off since he came back from Vietnam, for all the right reasons: for being scholarly, persistent, intelligent and also in making the more patrician amongst Republicans, esp. Bush, look like lazy, patronising, self-serving assholes given exactly the same advantages and opportunities Kerry used to serve others first. This is consistent and maybe people will be interested in knowledge and increasing their attention spans generally as a result of all this focus and a better example set by Kerry as President.

Plus, *someone* was gonna marry the crazy rich lady. Whatever she can dish out, I'm sure he can take it.

suzy (suzy), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:30 (nineteen years ago) link

how is this defined? what's to stop you from residing in more than one place?

In Finland, everyone has one official place of residence, which is registered in the population register. Of course you can reside somewhere else too, but that one place is where you vote. This is rather handy when it comes to the communal election, so you can't vote for the communal council in the commune you have your summer cottage in.

registration requires a signature, so you'd have to copy pretty well.

Okay, I guess the Finnish lawmakers have never thought that someone giving his or her ID to someone else to use it for voting purposes would be a big enough problem.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:34 (nineteen years ago) link

http://aoreport.com/satanichandsignalscelebs.jpg

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:41 (nineteen years ago) link

DAMN i wish i could find that screencap of Abe Lincoln yelling "PARTY ON, DUDES"

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm just guessing, of course. It probably has to do with excluding the disenfranchised, requiring/justifying a separate bureaucracy.

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, well put, Suzy... it does seem strange that he didn't want to run on any of his record as a senator; maybe the feeling that the swing voters wanted simple messages, revolving more around military service etc.

Tom May (Tom May), Monday, 1 November 2004 21:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Or his campaign manager(Bob Shrum was his name?) not wanting to go thru that. Weird.

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 21:21 (nineteen years ago) link

How is he not running on his record as a Senator? No, he's not talking about it all the time, because Congress is institutionally unpopular and metaphorically a debit (Bush is 1; Kerry is 1 in 100) - this is why the Bush people talk about it every chance they get.

Admittedly, he hasn't done much overtly in the Senate, from a bill-writing and -haggling standpoint. Part of this has to do with not stepping on Ted's toes. Part of it may well have to do with trying to reduce his attackability in a Presidential run.

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 21:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Also, it's rhetorically difficult - when you're part of a body, the best thing you can say is "I led the fight" or "I helped write" or "I passed." Doesn't sound as good as stuff an Executive can say. The people to whom it matters can read about it on their own.

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 21:29 (nineteen years ago) link

Kerry is Hammering Man

gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 1 November 2004 21:32 (nineteen years ago) link

whoa, low-angle sihlouette. not bad.

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 21:39 (nineteen years ago) link

I wonder if Kerry threw the bouquet back into the crowd ala Bowie in the "Modern Love" video.

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 1 November 2004 22:18 (nineteen years ago) link

its just nice to see that its not just college students and faggots who are anxious to kick bush out

-- LE CHUCK!™ (Le-Chuc...), November 1st, 2004.

This made me die laughing for some (obvious) reason.

Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Monday, 1 November 2004 22:19 (nineteen years ago) link

BBC reporting momentum toward Kerry and things getting a bit rumbly at Bush HQ.

I'm pretty sure that Kerry's ability to credit Americans with the ability to do a fraction of the research he does all the time is no stretch to anyone who has done their own bloody homework. Which is most of us, Yalies included.

suzy (suzy), Monday, 1 November 2004 22:23 (nineteen years ago) link

God, tomorrow is going to be SO fucked up. if i wasn't broke, i'd take the day off and hide behind the couch.


and by "hiding behind the couch", i mean, of course, playing "Baldur's Gate 2" all day and listening to the BBC broadcasting out of Powell's Bookstore...

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Monday, 1 November 2004 22:32 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm excited about tomorrow. I'm gonna kick Bush in the crotch region.

Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 1 November 2004 22:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I just can't wait to vote so I can, if not exactly relax, at least sit still with the knowledge that there's nothing else I can do.

Kenan (kenan), Monday, 1 November 2004 22:46 (nineteen years ago) link

OR! I may melt into a quivering pool of emotion. Depends on how much sleep I get tonight.

Kenan (kenan), Monday, 1 November 2004 22:48 (nineteen years ago) link

turns out that the judge in cincinnati ruled that partisian vote challengers would not be allowed in ohio polling places...

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 01:07 (nineteen years ago) link

it's all gonna come down to Ohio. How ironic.

Roger Fidelity (Roger Fidelity), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 01:12 (nineteen years ago) link

shit's gunna go down, i tells ya

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 01:12 (nineteen years ago) link

i sincerely hope so. I could use a little Weathermen-type excitement.

Roger Fidelity (Roger Fidelity), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 01:16 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.rantingandravingreviews.com/WEATHERMAN1.jpg

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 01:23 (nineteen years ago) link

four years pass...

i sincerely hope so. I could use a little Weathermen-type excitement.

― Roger Fidelity (Roger Fidelity), Monday, November 1, 2004 7:16 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Roger, it looks like you got your wish.

☑ (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 3 November 2008 21:51 (fifteen years ago) link


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