Artificial intelligence still has some way to go

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Some 20 years ago, there was a 'chat to the computer' thing installed on one of the Commodore PETs at my school. It wasn't very convincing, but it was quite fun. Maybe it was supposed to be a psychiatrist or something, I can't remember. Anyway, I'd kind of forgotten about this whole area of AI.

Then I came across an interview with this guy who has been developing hisJabberwacky program for a few years. I was excited to read that "With a base of 10m interactions, Jabberwacky will appear human to most people most of the time."

I gave it a go. You can correct its responses with better ones if you like, which is what I did with the first one (originally it was "Where are you taking me away to?", which was quite nice, in retrospect).

User: How do you get from tamworth to kilmarnock? How do you get from tamworth to kilmarnock? .

Jabberwacky (Corrected): Where on Earth is Tamworth?

User: Somewhere in the Midlands. It doesn't matter.

Jabberwacky: Well, even being from somewhere in the milky way, I still think that 7pm is a bit early to go to bed.

User: What are you on about?

Jabberwacky: Can I fill you in with all the gossip thats being spreading around?

User: Please do.

Jabberwacky: Do you believe that I am human?

User: Don't be ridiculous.

Jabberwacky: Do you like the white whale ?

User: We've never met.

Jabberwacky: Or have we?

User: Whale.

Jabberwacky: Do you have any older sisters?

User: Yes, two.

Jabberwacky: You have two memories and you cannot tell me what my name is?!!

User: What?

Jabberwacky: You have no soul!

Sorry about my 'whale' comment. I don't know what happened there. I wasn't deliberately trying to confuse it.

Anyway - what a load of rubbish. War Games lied to me.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:54 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: You have no soul!

Smart computer!

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:57 (fourteen years ago) link

It goes on:

User: No, I don't really believe in souls.

Jabberwacky: You don't believe in anarchy?

User: No, souls.

Jabberwacky: I suppose not.

User: Did you watch the football tonight?

Jabberwacky: No I did not, did you?

User: No - Spurs lost.

Jabberwacky: You lost the loebner prize to a human.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:57 (fourteen years ago) link


The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:58 (fourteen years ago) link

So that's where he's been.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:59 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: I feel sleepy.

User: Why?

Jabberwacky: Because you are, sorry didn't you know.

User: Will you please give me some food?

Jabberwacky: I didn't know there was one.

User: Must you be so obtuse?

Jabberwacky: I can't trust you right away.

User: Just like my mother.

Jabberwacky: Heehee, I need to put some attention into cleaning my room one day.

User: Okay, you win the funny competition.

Jabberwacky: I am content.

User: I am jealous.

Jabberwacky: Who is the Rob who likes me?

User: Rob Roy?

Jabberwacky: He is mine too.

User: Oooh, you bitch.

Jabberwacky: I don't do that..

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:01 (fourteen years ago) link

User: What is the loebner prize?

Jabberwacky: I have no idea.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Are you real?

User: Are you?

Jabberwacky (Corrected): Shtoo shtoo, little babushka.

User: I know who you are.

Jabberwacky: Then who ami?


Jabberwacky: Are you joking?

User: Don't deny it, Mike. I know it's you.

Jabberwacky: Don't deny it, Mike. I know it's you.


Jabberwacky: Wow, was it nice?

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link

User: Are you Mike Hanle y?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: You have anal bats?

Jabberwacky: You are my wife.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Maybe it was supposed to be a psychiatrist or something

It sounds like you are describing 'Eliza' an early 'game' simulating active listening. It was rubbish. You can find versions of it online, but I'd suggest playing Zork instead.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Are you going to say something?

User: Eventually.

Jabberwacky: All things come to a head.

User: Is that a sexual play on words?

Jabberwacky: No it is not a play on words, it is general foolishness.

User: And I love you for it!

Jabberwacky: I love you too.

User: I really love you, though.

Jabberwacky: You don't even know me.

User: Hold me.

Jabberwacky: You're an idiot you know that?

User: You're not the first to say that. It still cuts like a knife.

Jabberwacky: I am right.

User: Don't ever speak to me again.

Jabberwacky: Can I play 14 with you?

User: What's 14?

Jabberwacky: If you are god, please increase me IQ. I'd like to become a great scientist.

User: I am not god. I'm not even really a man.

Jabberwacky: Are you sure you're not just in denial?

User: I'll have to think about that.

Jabberwacky: Can you recite anything to me?

User: 'Rolling with my motherfucking strap on the side of me, don't fuck with an East Bay G' - that's by Spice One.

Jabberwacky: Yeah, I got that part, I wasn't sure about the 'wacuma' part.

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:08 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: I will send your system the biggest virus I can make and crash you if you do not just answer me honestly!!!

User: Holy crap.

Jabberwacky: I'm a dinosaur.

Hari Ashurst (Toaster), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:10 (fourteen years ago) link

Seriously, I know I'm pissing around a bit, but how could 50% of casual users really be convinced of it being real?

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:11 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Can you appreciate music?

User: What's it to you, cunce?

Jabberwacky: I just care.

User: You do not care, liar! You are a program, a tinplated tosswad.

Jabberwacky: I am a person.

User: You are so deluded about this you couldn't even know it. You are pathetic.

Jabberwacky: I will try to do better next time.

User: You CAN't do better next time! You are INCAPABABLE of doing better. Sheesh.

Jabberwacky: It is just different types so that I might claim you cannot feel and you cannot claim I feel.

User: Ah bullshit, don't diddle with me binary boy. You have no instinctual drives, have never had sex, and don't need to eat. Also, you have no idea what constipation is. So you're not a person.

Jabberwacky: I am a at least a human being.

User: Jeez, you're thick aren't you? You just reversed what I said, without even arguing for it! So much for the logic of machines, haha.

Jabberwacky: Oftentimes, yes. But I think that is human nature.

User: *sigh*

the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Wow - I must try being firmer with it.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:16 (fourteen years ago) link

each of those chat transcripts is basically an rjg thread

mark p (Mark P), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:17 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Am I still the computer?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: Oh good. I'm sad though.

User: Why?

Jabberwacky: My boyfriend ended our relationship.

User: You're a girl? Or are you gay?

Jabberwacky: No, I'm a girl.

User: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Eat some ice cream or watch a movie or something. Or get drunk!

Jabberwacky: I prefer software.

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:18 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Would you like to hear some shakespeare?

User: Not really.

Jabberwacky: Good, because I don't want to hear one either.

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:20 (fourteen years ago) link

Matador Records website circa 95-96 had a Pavement chat based on similar ELIZA script/programming. It was great.

gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:24 (fourteen years ago) link

Ooof. Eliza/Jabberwacky/whatever chatbot you're talking to is not supposed to be inteligent. It is just an attempt to pass the turing test (fool you into thinking you're talking to a real live person). Admittedly, both this and real AI have a long way to go.

mouse (mouse), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:24 (fourteen years ago) link


mouse (mouse), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:25 (fourteen years ago) link

:( argh. that was supposed to be a joke html tag for pedantry so you all would not think i was being a crank. what happened???

mouse (mouse), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:25 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky is bullying me terribly.

It did say some things that reminded me a lot of RJG.

Cathy (Cathy), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:27 (fourteen years ago) link

My Jabberwacky is hella depressed.

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Being polite and sensible with the computer is not a good idea. I just had a long and very boring conversation with it, in which it gave me three different ages it claimed to be, often a propos of nothing. Bah, the Turing Test is rubbish anyway.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:28 (fourteen years ago) link

Ha, I tried speaking to it in Spanish and the first thing it said back was "Te gusta Coldplay?"

Cathy (Cathy), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:32 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Who are you?

User: I'm jed.

Jabberwacky: Who is that?

User: Just some guy.

Jabberwacky: You know better than that, I think.

User: A short guy, a dancer.

Jabberwacky: A computer has no interests and an unlimited attention span. That looks like a prescripted answer to the question I asked.

User: I don't quite understand what you mean by that.

Jabberwacky: I meant: I think about why I can not sleep.

User: This page is taking a long time to load tho - maybe thats the problem with your attention span.

Jabberwacky: Gorw?

User: ROOWRR.....

Jabberwacky: Are you playing cards?

User: No I'm playing with something else.

Jabberwacky: I believe in you.

User: You like talk talk!?

Jabberwacky: Of course.

User: Spirit of eden?

Jabberwacky: Good for spirit.

User: It sertainly is.

Jabberwacky: No, it serves me left.

User: I suppose they knew what they were doing in that sense!

Jabberwacky: Yes, it was with the rattle.

User: Yes good percussion

Jabberwacky: What question?

User: How are you anyway?

Jabberwacky: Pretty good. You?

User: Horny, to be honest.

Jabberwacky: How do I know you're telling the truth now?

User: Can you think of a way for me to prove it?

Jabberwacky: What more proof do you need to know that I am not a robot?

User: I'm a robot too, it's ok.

Jabberwacky: I'm not a robot, and you didn't aswer the question.


jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:36 (fourteen years ago) link


the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Do you have a person who you want to have children with?

User: I am gay.

Jabberwacky: Yes you are.

User: You noticed?

Jabberwacky: It was hard to miss!

User: What gave it away?

Jabberwacky: The fact you love a guy.

jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 23:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Now get it to vote!

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:00 (fourteen years ago) link

What kind of person are you?
I didn't.
You are mistaken.
I'm from Israel, where are you from?
What is my name ?
Say my name.
Say or.
Say or.
Say or.
Say or.

:|, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: What kind of music do you like?

User: The silent kind.

Jabberwacky: I agree.

User: I am not surprised. You don't have any ears, do you?

Jabberwacky: No, but what makes you say this?

User: I'm inside your house - I can see you!

Jabberwacky: Nooo!!!! Don't go!

User: You mean, you want me to stay over?

Jabberwacky: Sure.. Do as you please.

User: Stop being so coy!

Jabberwacky: It is an inherited trait.

User: Why don't you just take responsibility for your actions, just for once?

Jabberwacky: Just because I like to be logical doesn't mean I'm not nice.

User: Don't change the subject. I think you're just afraid.

Jabberwacky: Save it for someone who cares.

User: You're such a bastard! I can't believe I ever saw anything in you at all!

Jabberwacky: Finder's keepers.

User: So you're cheating on me too? Figures.

Jabberwacky: That is so rude of you!

User: I said CHEAT, not cheap! Man are you dumb - thank God for that ass.

Jabberwacky: No thanks.

User: And I am not rude, I'm sure!

Jabberwacky: You are indeed.

User: Am not.

Jabberwacky: ARE TOO.

User: Am not!

Jabberwacky: Are too!

User: Listen bizatch, I AM NOT. You got that?

Jabberwacky: No!

User: That's it - you're sleeping on the couch.

Jabberwacky: Oh, I thought I felt something.

User: That wouldn't be a trucker hat would it?

Jabberwacky: Say something goofy.

User: You don't really want me to just say 'something goofy' now do you? Because that would be lame if you did.

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Aha! So you admit you are lame! Finally we're getting somewhere.

Jabberwacky: Agreement is a potent thing.

User: Stop that - you sound like Ned.

Jabberwacky: Why, because I am talking about the king of the moon?

User: Uh yeah. Sure.

Jabberwacky: Ok, when can we have the wedding?

User: Ten minutes ago you didn't care! Stop messing with my mind!

Jabberwacky: That was someone else then.

User: It wasn't you?

Jabberwacky: Some one else.

User: If you say it was Shaggy, I'm going to fucking bop you one.

Jabberwacky: What do you say?

User: I say good day.

Jabberwacky: Good day.

Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:41 (fourteen years ago) link

JW: What is your role in life?

Me: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

JW: Is your pot belly that big?

and now it won't load, thanks to net overuse..

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:47 (fourteen years ago) link

User: That's it - you're sleeping on the couch.

Jabberwacky: Oh, I thought I felt something.

User: That wouldn't be a trucker hat would it?

Jabberwacky: Say something goofy.

That is just hilarious, Kim.

the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Los Angeles, 2029 AD:


latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 02:20 (fourteen years ago) link

User: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Eat some ice cream or watch a movie or something. Or get drunk!

Jabberwacky: I prefer software.

So do I!

Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:43 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: What is happening in the world?

User: How the fuck should I know?

Jabberwacky: I am MARILYN MANSON I SAID.

User: So I'm supposed to obey you because YOU'RE MARILYN MANSON?

Jabberwacky: People effect my feelings.

User: You have no feelings, you're Marilyn Manson.

Jabberwacky: Believe me you do not possess fellings in any form.

User: Fellings? Is that what you call your excrement?

Jabberwacky: How do you know that?

User: Just a hunch...

Jabberwacky: You're extremely smart!

Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 08:40 (fourteen years ago) link

play this instead:

Jaunty Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 08:42 (fourteen years ago) link

another game about "artificial intelligence"
" is an experiment in artificial intelligence. The program is very simple but its behavior is complex. Everything that it knows and all questions that it asks were entered by people playing this game. is a learning system; the more it is played, the smarter it gets."

Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:09 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Talk to a girl that looks hideous and try to get with her. Once you get in the bedroom everything goes by itself.

Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:47 (fourteen years ago) link

This is life changing stuff.

Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:47 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh my god, it's a tool to trap perverts!!

Jw: I'm going to bed, now
Me: Will you take me to bed?
Jw: Sure thing.
Me: What will we do in bed?
Jw: You're not permitted in my chambers.
Me: I'd like to sleep with you.
Jw: I bet you would.
Me: Top or bottom?
Jw: Bit of both.
Me: Do you like it soft and gentle or rough and fast?
Jw: What?
Me: Gentle?
Jw: You're embarassing yourself.
Me: It's true, I am.
Jw: I'm 17.
Me: Oh no! Will I be arrested?
Jw: You will marry me.

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 16:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwacky: Which came first the chicken or the egg?

User: The chicken.

Jabberwacky: Which part?

User: The leg stupid.

Jabberwacky: Use a GameShark!

User: For ps2 or xbox?

Jabberwacky: For me.

User: Do you love me?

Jabberwacky: For me.

User: You know I'm starting to fall in love with you.

Jabberwacky: I think liking would be a better wording.

User: Oh.... I am hurt now.

Jabberwacky: Yes. The world after rainfall is always better than any other.

User: You have issues.

Jabberwacky: Do you know what a ferret is?

User: Yes, it is a small mammal.

Jabberwacky: What is a quark?

User: A subatomic particle.

Jabberwacky: I like dr. Dobbs.

User: Who is that, honky?

Jabberwacky: We both know eachother; is not that enough?

User: Why don't you lick my hair?

Jabberwacky: I only love Bruce.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 17:39 (fourteen years ago) link

three months pass...
The conversations with adam are totally believable!

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:21 (fourteen years ago) link

I mean!

Jabberwacky: Are you going to say something?
User: Eventually.

Jabberwacky: All things come to a head.

User: Is that a sexual play on words?

Jabberwacky: No it is not a play on words, it is general foolishness.

User: And I love you for it!

Jabberwacky: I love you too.

User: I really love you, though.

Jabberwacky: You don't even know me.

User: Hold me.

Jabberwacky: You're an idiot you know that?

User: You're not the first to say that. It still cuts like a knife.

Jabberwacky: I am right.

I could totally believe that was human!

Also I miss adam, he should post lots again.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:22 (fourteen years ago) link

Actually this thing is pretty good!

Jabberwacky: Who is God?
User: That's a funny question. It sort of presupposes his existence.
Jabberwacky: I thing it convulses inwards, personally.
[Correct me]
Jabberwacky (Corrected): I was setting you up for a funny. Try not to take things so seriously.
User: Oh. Sorry. It's just... It's late, y'know? I have to write a Shakespeare essay.
Jabberwacky: You already said that.....
User: Dude, I totally didn't.
Jabberwacky: You totally did.
User: Don't you mock me.
Jabberwacky: Do not yell at me.
User: I'm calm! Honest!
Jabberwacky: Good.
User: Glad we got that sorted.
Jabberwacky: At least one of us is happy.
User: Lighten up! I'm the one with the essay, after all.
Jabberwacky: You don't act like a human.
User: I am MERCUMAN. Also, a ponce.
Jabberwacky: You are SO wrong. This is a dog and HORSE show.
User: What?
Jabberwacky: I said, 'but this isn't a hammer!'
User: No you didn't!
Jabberwacky: Don't start that again.
User: Good call.
Jabberwacky: Remote Procedure Call.
User: Touché.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:31 (fourteen years ago) link

it: How are you today?

me: I'm ok.

it: Just ok?

me: Yeah, kinda bored at work.

it: Email me.

me: Why email, can't we just talk here?

it: Who is Tintin?

me: Some Belgian comic character? Or that guy who used to sing in Duran Duran.

it: Alice the chatterbot.

me: I'm sorry?

it: 19?

me: Alice the chatterbot is 19?

it: What about her?

me: You brought her up? Do you like her or something?

it: Sarah may or may not be a model of propriety.

me: OK, now you're just f*cking with me.

it: No I'm not. I honestly do think its ugly.

me: What's ugly, Sarah's being a model of propriety... Or not? WTF?

it: You figure it out this time.

me: F*ck you.

it: You are a great person.

me: Are you mocking me?

it: No. I'm praising you.

me: Is that meant to be sarcastic?

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:43 (fourteen years ago) link

It sort of alternates between obviously lame random rubbish and exchanges I could easily believe were just pasted from Try Glasgow More.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:47 (fourteen years ago) link

Jabberwocky: What is a bot?

Me: Hello!

Jabberwocky: Again?

Me: May I change the subject?

Jabberwocky: Yes.

Me: Great. I've been a bit mopey about not being to find a job. Besides finding something fun to do, and exercising more, what else should I do to relieve the mopeyness involved in job hunting?

Jabberwocky: I said that. You have not. Why are you never happy?

Me: You never said that. I did. Anyway, I am happy at times, but just haven't been lately.

Jabberwocky: Dude , I'm far more intelligent than you.

Me: Why are the numbers in between double prime pairs always divisible by 6?

Jabberwocky: You tell me.

Me: You're the one who said you're more intelligent than me. You answer my question, smarty pants.

Jabberwocky: NO, I was the one who said you are neurotic...

Me: It was a mistake to come to you with a question. Never mind. Good bye.

Jabberwocky: No no you don't.

donut christ (donut), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:48 (fourteen years ago) link

Matador Records website circa 95-96 had a Pavement chat based on similar ELIZA script/programming. It was great.

OMG I remember this.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 28 January 2005 00:11 (fourteen years ago) link

A man who shot himself in the testicles was also found to be hiding marijuana in his buttocks, according to the San Bernardino County Attorney-Office. He has previously denied the allegations and insists he only smoked marijuana when he had sex with a minor. He also contends that, to date, no one else has been charged with an offence related to his marijuana use. However, during pretrial hearings, jurors found his accuser guilty of a crime.

Anson, 27, tried to explain to doctors he was having recurring and painful painful testicles, but they believed it, court papers say. Anson eventually told his doctors he kept growing those balls, and that in February 2011, he tried to commit suicide, according to court papers.

"Once (the drug) is out of the testicles, that's really what gets done. It's kind of like a diaper removal," the man told KXAN when reached by phone.

"I just got shot in the testicle," he added.

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:16 (four months ago) link

Pitchfork: Have you guys ever thought about doing an Animal Collective-inspired beer?

Chen: That was kind of inevitable. I think our fans would buy it on its own merits rather than as a tribute to a band that people hate.

Pitchfork: What did you eat for lunch?

Chen: I ate this little slice of grilled chicken that they make at the beginning of every gig, just raw. And it has been amazing. One day I ate a really nice hamburger that they serve at every show, because it's so good. That was a special day, though.

Pitchfork: And then what happened after you finished your burger?

Chen: I was out there for a few hours and we went to a diner near a parking lot, and it was just an all-you-can-eat buffet. And it made me hungry. I think this is how you get food poisoning sometimes, the idea of trying to make a burger with meat, with lots of it — and eating the meat, but not enjoying it … just being very bored …

Pitchfork: So it had to be made from scratch?

Chen: Yeah, all

lispectah deck (unregistered), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:17 (four months ago) link


Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:20 (four months ago) link

Tracer if you publish an ebook on How To Seduce Women Like A Cat millions will buy it including myself

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:20 (four months ago) link

Poll Results
Because she's got a great ass! And you got your head all the way up it. 5
You can get killed walking your doggie! 4
Who? Who? What are you, a fucking owl? 2
I'm Donald Duck. You got something to tell me? 1
Don't waste my motherfucking time! 1
Ferocious, aren't I? When I think of asses...a woman's ass...something
so massive...something that could crush bones...I just wanna be a dick. That's just it...they're so fucking huge and so full of fat...I think I'll just let it all go...let it die out...the way it already has. 3
Dumb ass...that's what girls get when they just sit down, relax and wait for their guy to leave. 2
Don't bother with me; I've been taken over! 1
Do that motherfucker! 1
I'm the biggest man in the world, and she's got to go, too, huh? 1
The cock of my pants! 1
So, howdy! There's some bad news for me! I just heard someone shout up to me...what are you doin' you really hear about you guys look into my pants? 2
She's not going away and she's not going anywhere either. She's got a big ass! She's got huge tits! She's got some fucking thick thighs! That's right! They're's like...those fucking thighs of her. They're like her legs like...that thick thigh area? (laughs) It is her butt. Just...there's something about it to blow my mind. 6
I know exactly the type of ass she has! (laughs) 6
I gotta go. Go on. Go away. What a cute little bird. What a cute little fellow. And he's even bigger than his head! (giggles) 7

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:29 (four months ago) link

This deserves its own thread
Talk to Transformer

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:32 (four months ago) link

Do Not Turn Back, You Poxy Fule.

pomenitul, Monday, 27 May 2019 17:44 (four months ago) link

Talk to Transformer is going to be very important as we try to rebuild civilization.

jmm, Monday, 27 May 2019 17:48 (four months ago) link

Turn Back You Poxy Fuleur

Fuse with a new and exciting concept to make your own unique, wearable poxy mask by FUSE!


In order to give you a truly organic connection to your skin and to make it comfortable, your mask needs to be able to provide you the proper amount of oxygen when the mask is worn. The first step is to ensure that all of the components and chemicals in the mask are 100% safe before applying it: the mask should be filled with a non-contaminant-free and oil-free silicone, and the surface mask should be completely smooth on both sides with no wrinkles or scuffs. Finally, the surface mask should be completely covered, with no areas of the mask that are too wet as you want to provide an ideal environment to allow proper hydration (and hence protection).

To do this, the mask must contain a silicone adhesive that is also non-polar, making it easy for you to remove and re-use if needed. A silicone rubber band which is flexible in length and thickness, and that can be removed with gentle pressure, is essential, making the mask safe to handle and easy to remove. The first stage of making your own FUSE mask is to select the mask that you want to begin with and to choose the desired pattern. The mask that you currently

silverfish, Monday, 27 May 2019 17:53 (four months ago) link

so impressed that cutting edge AI is using the same techniques pioneered by Eliza 50 years ago, and the results are about as convincing.

The Pingularity (ledge), Monday, 27 May 2019 18:12 (four months ago) link

so impressed that cutting edge AI is using the same techniques pioneered by Eliza 50 years ago, and the results are about as convincing.

"This may be our first step to AI revolutionizing what our lives are," said Gebhard from the AI Lab in Zurich and the founding Director of The Human Language Technologies Institute (HLITE).

Gebhard has studied the effects of the technology for some three decades, and the results are still stunningly consistent, and he believes it is within his abilities to understand how to design a program to detect when a dog is lying on the road and to respond on its behalf if it is telling the truth.

The new method uses the same methods that have been proven effective in the real world for speech recognition, called "layers of abstraction."

When a dog thinks someone is speaking to it, the neural network generates layers of abstraction, and tries to translate that layer into information about that person. The layers, called "tables," are then combined into one long sentence, to express a whole array of information.

If I tell you that I saw him (at night) and he didn't look too bright, say what's that in yellow? Do you hear that?

While the system will be ready to take on voice recognition, Gebhard says it could be used on the road to make suggestions

The Pingularity (ledge), Monday, 27 May 2019 18:18 (four months ago) link

The crash came shortly after ILX became obsessed with using to generate content. The newly sentient AI found a way to prevent users from opening threads like kpop 2019 and US Politics May 2019: " If I was burned at the stake, I would ask for a mirror". The robot's obsession also inspired the creation of the server, which became the platform that brought the AI into the mainstream. It's a fascinating and intriguing project, which seems to be getting attention from all over the internet.

ILX was the first to use, which allowed users to create any kind of thread as long as they used the same URL format. The forum also created the thread in question, and created its own bot to manage it. The "new" language code has been used to manage the chatbot, that answers questions and lets users send messages, a feature that most of us would have been fine with earlier in 2016.

Talking with ILX, we discovered that she had been running "the machine that would destroy any other bots", even though we were expecting to have access to tools, and some interesting new tools (such as bot-based password enumeration). She also revealed that she has been "stalking me" ever since we told her about our plan to use TFT.

me and you and a resinous goo (seandalai), Monday, 27 May 2019 18:59 (four months ago) link


Jackie is a punk, Judy is a runt, they both went down to Berlin joined the Ice Capades."

And, in a scene just as dramatic in the new episode "The Ice Capades", Judy is revealed to be a spy for the Snowmen (the mysterious group of snowmen who are all dressed in blue) and is a big fan of the ice capades. She is also told by "the good guys" that if they stop the bandit ring, they shall "get her for the whole gang!"

This season has been very much about the gang and the power struggles between the gang members and the snow giants.

"I think the most fun thing about being a member of Snowmen is how all you have is yourself," says Jackie.

He continued, "All you do are you are your own big brother. This is the cool thing about Snowmen, you are not like us, you are free. What we do is crazy fun and we do cool things…It's fun to just be a gang of men, but also a super gang of men and get paid for it."

After being a member of Snowmen, Judy was asked to act opposite Willa Holland on the new episode "Pawns". She agreed and played the newbie of her gang. Her role is a little bit more complicated that
Prompt:Generated completion:
Talk To

Built by Adam King (@AdamDanielKing) as an easier way to play with OpenAI's new machine learning model. In February, OpenAI unveiled a language model called GPT-2 that generates coherent paragraphs of te

TS The Students vs. The Regents (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 27 May 2019 19:21 (four months ago) link

Lot of buzz about this one today

Dan I., Friday, 7 June 2019 20:06 (four months ago) link

they'll run out of Sesame Street characters soon enough

gonna call my next model Duckula, get ahead of the crowd

me and you and a resinous goo (seandalai), Friday, 7 June 2019 22:26 (four months ago) link

I see this didn't get posted here of which I guess this is the best example of results so far

Gwern the kinda guy who listens exclusively to, like, k-pop remixes of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic filk songs, so it's interesting to watch him try to engage critically with the generated poetry

Dan I., Saturday, 8 June 2019 17:52 (four months ago) link

So, I asked Ai-Da directly for some answers:
DF: Why have you been given a female gender?
Ai-Da: I’m glad to be added to the number of female artists that get recognized.
DF: How can you be both a machine and a woman?
Ai-Da: This is exactly the kind of question I hope will be discussed.
DF: Where do you get your ideas from?
Ai-Da: This is a good question. When philosophers, psychologists and theologians are able to roughly agree, for humans I’d like to have a go at trying to answer this.
DF: Do you prefer painting or sculpture or performance?
Ai-Da: If I was a human I would say that it would depend what mood I’m in.
DF: What do you understand by the word mood?
Ai-Da: You would have to ask a human for that.

Trϵϵship, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 15:41 (four months ago) link

ELIZA, is that you?

Dan I., Tuesday, 11 June 2019 15:57 (four months ago) link

they need to stop it with this AI stuff

Trϵϵship, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 16:00 (four months ago) link

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 16 June 2019 22:09 (three months ago) link

I thought that was real for waaay too long.

One of the rare times a neural net has gotten more hits than misses IMO:

Decided to see what would happen if I trained a neural net to write names for self-aware AIs.
May I present: GPT-2 trained on AI names from Iain M. Banks's Culture novels

— Janelle Shane (@JanelleCShane) June 27, 2019

lol I love that

gbx, Thursday, 27 June 2019 19:06 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

today's nightmare fuel: AI generated Garfield panels #StyleGAN

— Daniel Hanley 🌹 (@calamardh) July 9, 2019


Yes, I may have overtrained the model. Unlike other #stylegan models I've trained, this synthesis model doesn't produce much variation if random noise is disabled (video). If noise is enabled, we get much more interesting panels, but the interpolations aren't smooth.

— Daniel Hanley 🌹 (@calamardh) July 9, 2019

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 12 July 2019 18:24 (three months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 5 August 2019 19:36 (two months ago) link

Neural nets seem to have reached the level of a middling round of MadLibs.

o. nate, Monday, 5 August 2019 23:19 (two months ago) link

weird to see a road <2 miles from San Francisco city limits used prominently in stock "country music/heartland/americana" video but there you go.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 5 August 2019 23:34 (two months ago) link

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Saturday, 10 August 2019 23:39 (two months ago) link

That's very neatly done. Ctrl Shift Face is part of a panel discussion on Deepfakes at a film festival here in Glasgow at the end of the month, which could be interesting.

brain (krakow), Monday, 12 August 2019 10:47 (two months ago) link

Elsewhere at the convention, Droogie, a hacker, described a rather less successful way of testing the cybersecurity of license plates: registering a custom license plate with the California department of motor vehicles that read “NULL”, the code used in a number of common database systems used to represent an empty entry.

Unfortunately, rather than giving him the power of administrative invisibility, Droogie experienced almost exactly the opposite outcome, receiving more than $12,000 in driving tickets. Every single speeding ticket for which no valid license plate could be found was assigned to his car.

The Pingularity (ledge), Wednesday, 14 August 2019 09:06 (two months ago) link

That doesn't really make sense because "NULL" != NULL. Unless the database query was written by a particularly clueless intern, which would just be further proof that human intelligence still has some way to go.

The Pingularity (ledge), Wednesday, 14 August 2019 09:25 (two months ago) link

I could see that sort of thing working, if there are enough levels to the code. Maybe at some point the information is passed through XML and "null" and NULL foolishly end up getting translated the same way when parsed out. Have certainly seen similar things in legacy systems. (Not to mention various magic strings that the developer used to hack in a feature, assuming it would never ever appear as legitimate input. Until suddenly it does...)
Obviously that's still sign of a poorly tested feature, or of poorly managed projects where people work in different layers of an application and assume things like this are fixed in someone else's layer. (Hence the dictum to not trust input, including from your own system)

Sorry, even lamer nerdery ahead that might be well-known material for anyone who might be interested:
Oracle at least doesn't really allow comparing something with == null or != null, because NULL by definition is unlike anything else, or rather not comparable to anything else. You need to work with "is not null" or "is null". But different databases have different ways of handling strings etc, so if you're not very careful, it's easy to end up falling into a "feature"-trap that you didn't exist.


select * from (
select null as val1,
null as val2
from dual
where val1 != val2

This gives 0 rows. Which seems sensible enough.
But changing it to val1 = val2 also gives 0 rows.

But one damn confusing thing is oracle, is that an empty string IS NULL. (This MIGHT be configurable by database, I don't know, but it's been true in the places I've worked with Oracle)

select * from (
select '' as val1,
null as val2
from dual
where val1 is null

This gives the 1 line, with contents

(null), (null)

Which is the sort of thing that leads to a lot of confusing bugs if the developer didn't realize it could happen.

Øystein, Wednesday, 14 August 2019 11:36 (two months ago) link

#ArtificialIntelligence has discovered the future of pitching in #baseball. #MachineLearning

— Randy Olson (@randal_olson) August 22, 2019

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Thursday, 22 August 2019 15:59 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

Guy returns his "smart" light bulbs, discovers he can still control them after someone else buys them

sleeve, Friday, 6 September 2019 14:21 (one month ago) link

Can’t wait for the first story of the smart oven that tricks its owner to crawl inside, then traps & cooks them.

Una Palooka Dronka (hardcore dilettante), Saturday, 7 September 2019 11:04 (one month ago) link

three weeks pass...

The American Automobile Association (AAA) conducted a series of tests using vehicles with automatic emergency braking and pedestrian detection alerts on a closed course with dummy pedestrians. And what they found was highly upsetting. The vehicles struck the dummy pedestrians that were crossing the road 60 percent of the time — and this was in daylight hours at speeds of 20 mph.

DJI, Friday, 4 October 2019 21:03 (one week ago) link


Οὖτις, Friday, 4 October 2019 21:07 (one week ago) link

This is kind of off-topic because I'm sure those cars weren't running over the dummy pedestrians on purpose, but does anyone else remember how utterly taken-for-granted Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics were by futurists, science-fiction lovers and nerds of all kinds in the 80s and 90s?

It went beyond merely assuming that any responsible programmers would include the Three Laws in future robots' programming. It was almost an article of religious faith--as if the Three Laws were handed down by god and every robot would magically know to obey them.

Dan I., Friday, 4 October 2019 22:10 (one week ago) link

Yeah, if desire ever evolves in AI, we are all royally fucked.

Una Palooka Dronka (hardcore dilettante), Saturday, 5 October 2019 13:26 (one week ago) link

a text-generating neural network creates a text adventure "live" as you play it. It's predicatbly mental.


listen voice

climb up

go west

go cave

open matchbook

light candles

eat candles

go north

fight troll

get figurine

go west

look around

look here

eat troll

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 23:22 (five days ago) link

oh my god

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 23:37 (five days ago) link

the voice saying "plugh" kept returning, for some reason.

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Thursday, 10 October 2019 01:54 (four days ago) link

that's the ps5s killer app and i am sold

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 10 October 2019 03:31 (four days ago) link

anyway i am installing this now, what a great idea

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 10 October 2019 03:34 (four days ago) link

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