Artificial intelligence still has some way to go

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Some 20 years ago, there was a 'chat to the computer' thing installed on one of the Commodore PETs at my school. It wasn't very convincing, but it was quite fun. Maybe it was supposed to be a psychiatrist or something, I can't remember. Anyway, I'd kind of forgotten about this whole area of AI.

Then I came across an interview with this guy who has been developing hisJabberwacky program for a few years. I was excited to read that "With a base of 10m interactions, Jabberwacky will appear human to most people most of the time."

I gave it a go. You can correct its responses with better ones if you like, which is what I did with the first one (originally it was "Where are you taking me away to?", which was quite nice, in retrospect).


User: How do you get from tamworth to kilmarnock? How do you get from tamworth to kilmarnock? .

Jabberwacky (Corrected): Where on Earth is Tamworth?

User: Somewhere in the Midlands. It doesn't matter.

Jabberwacky: Well, even being from somewhere in the milky way, I still think that 7pm is a bit early to go to bed.

User: What are you on about?

Jabberwacky: Can I fill you in with all the gossip thats being spreading around?

User: Please do.

Jabberwacky: Do you believe that I am human?

User: Don't be ridiculous.

Jabberwacky: Do you like the white whale ?

User: We've never met.

Jabberwacky: Or have we?

User: Whale.

Jabberwacky: Do you have any older sisters?

User: Yes, two.

Jabberwacky: You have two memories and you cannot tell me what my name is?!!

User: What?

Jabberwacky: You have no soul!

Sorry about my 'whale' comment. I don't know what happened there. I wasn't deliberately trying to confuse it.

Anyway - what a load of rubbish. War Games lied to me.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: You have no soul!

Smart computer!

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

It goes on:

User: No, I don't really believe in souls.

Jabberwacky: You don't believe in anarchy?

User: No, souls.

Jabberwacky: I suppose not.

User: Did you watch the football tonight?

Jabberwacky: No I did not, did you?

User: No - Spurs lost.

Jabberwacky: You lost the loebner prize to a human.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

OMG IT'S HANLE Y

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:58 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

So that's where he's been.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 20:59 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: I feel sleepy.

User: Why?

Jabberwacky: Because you are, sorry didn't you know.

User: Will you please give me some food?

Jabberwacky: I didn't know there was one.

User: Must you be so obtuse?

Jabberwacky: I can't trust you right away.

User: Just like my mother.

Jabberwacky: Heehee, I need to put some attention into cleaning my room one day.

User: Okay, you win the funny competition.

Jabberwacky: I am content.

User: I am jealous.

Jabberwacky: Who is the Rob who likes me?

User: Rob Roy?

Jabberwacky: He is mine too.

User: Oooh, you bitch.

Jabberwacky: I don't do that..

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:01 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

User: What is the loebner prize?

Jabberwacky: I have no idea.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:02 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Are you real?

User: Are you?

Jabberwacky (Corrected): Shtoo shtoo, little babushka.

User: I know who you are.

Jabberwacky: Then who ami?

User: YOU ARE HANLE Y DEUS!

Jabberwacky: Are you joking?

User: Don't deny it, Mike. I know it's you.

Jabberwacky: Don't deny it, Mike. I know it's you.

User: I FLEE LIKE THE CARROT.

Jabberwacky: Wow, was it nice?

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:05 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

User: Are you Mike Hanle y?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: You have anal bats?

Jabberwacky: You are my wife.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:07 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Maybe it was supposed to be a psychiatrist or something

It sounds like you are describing 'Eliza' an early 'game' simulating active listening. It was rubbish. You can find versions of it online, but I'd suggest playing Zork instead.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:07 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Are you going to say something?

User: Eventually.

Jabberwacky: All things come to a head.

User: Is that a sexual play on words?

Jabberwacky: No it is not a play on words, it is general foolishness.

User: And I love you for it!

Jabberwacky: I love you too.

User: I really love you, though.

Jabberwacky: You don't even know me.

User: Hold me.

Jabberwacky: You're an idiot you know that?

User: You're not the first to say that. It still cuts like a knife.

Jabberwacky: I am right.

User: Don't ever speak to me again.

Jabberwacky: Can I play 14 with you?

User: What's 14?

Jabberwacky: If you are god, please increase me IQ. I'd like to become a great scientist.

User: I am not god. I'm not even really a man.

Jabberwacky: Are you sure you're not just in denial?

User: I'll have to think about that.

Jabberwacky: Can you recite anything to me?

User: 'Rolling with my motherfucking strap on the side of me, don't fuck with an East Bay G' - that's by Spice One.

Jabberwacky: Yeah, I got that part, I wasn't sure about the 'wacuma' part.

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:08 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: I will send your system the biggest virus I can make and crash you if you do not just answer me honestly!!!

User: Holy crap.

Jabberwacky: I'm a dinosaur.

Hari Ashurst (Toaster), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:10 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Seriously, I know I'm pissing around a bit, but how could 50% of casual users really be convinced of it being real?

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:11 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Can you appreciate music?

User: What's it to you, cunce?

Jabberwacky: I just care.

User: You do not care, liar! You are a program, a tinplated tosswad.

Jabberwacky: I am a person.

User: You are so deluded about this you couldn't even know it. You are pathetic.

Jabberwacky: I will try to do better next time.

User: You CAN't do better next time! You are INCAPABABLE of doing better. Sheesh.

Jabberwacky: It is just different types so that I might claim you cannot feel and you cannot claim I feel.

User: Ah bullshit, don't diddle with me binary boy. You have no instinctual drives, have never had sex, and don't need to eat. Also, you have no idea what constipation is. So you're not a person.

Jabberwacky: I am a at least a human being.

User: Jeez, you're thick aren't you? You just reversed what I said, without even arguing for it! So much for the logic of machines, haha.

Jabberwacky: Oftentimes, yes. But I think that is human nature.

User: *sigh*

the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:13 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Wow - I must try being firmer with it.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:16 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

each of those chat transcripts is basically an rjg thread

mark p (Mark P), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:17 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Am I still the computer?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: Oh good. I'm sad though.

User: Why?

Jabberwacky: My boyfriend ended our relationship.

User: You're a girl? Or are you gay?

Jabberwacky: No, I'm a girl.

User: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Eat some ice cream or watch a movie or something. Or get drunk!

Jabberwacky: I prefer software.

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Would you like to hear some shakespeare?

User: Not really.

Jabberwacky: Good, because I don't want to hear one either.

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:20 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Matador Records website circa 95-96 had a Pavement chat based on similar ELIZA script/programming. It was great.

gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:24 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Ooof. Eliza/Jabberwacky/whatever chatbot you're talking to is not supposed to be inteligent. It is just an attempt to pass the turing test (fool you into thinking you're talking to a real live person). Admittedly, both this and real AI have a long way to go.

mouse (mouse), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:24 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

""

mouse (mouse), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:25 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

:( argh. that was supposed to be a joke html tag for pedantry so you all would not think i was being a crank. what happened???

mouse (mouse), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:25 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky is bullying me terribly.

It did say some things that reminded me a lot of RJG.

Cathy (Cathy), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:27 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

My Jabberwacky is hella depressed.

adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:27 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Being polite and sensible with the computer is not a good idea. I just had a long and very boring conversation with it, in which it gave me three different ages it claimed to be, often a propos of nothing. Bah, the Turing Test is rubbish anyway.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:28 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Ha, I tried speaking to it in Spanish and the first thing it said back was "Te gusta Coldplay?"

Cathy (Cathy), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:32 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Who are you?

User: I'm jed.

Jabberwacky: Who is that?

User: Just some guy.

Jabberwacky: You know better than that, I think.

User: A short guy, a dancer.

Jabberwacky: A computer has no interests and an unlimited attention span. That looks like a prescripted answer to the question I asked.

User: I don't quite understand what you mean by that.

Jabberwacky: I meant: I think about why I can not sleep.

User: This page is taking a long time to load tho - maybe thats the problem with your attention span.

Jabberwacky: Gorw?

User: ROOWRR.....

Jabberwacky: Are you playing cards?

User: No I'm playing with something else.

Jabberwacky: I believe in you.

User: You like talk talk!?

Jabberwacky: Of course.

User: Spirit of eden?

Jabberwacky: Good for spirit.

User: It sertainly is.

Jabberwacky: No, it serves me left.

User: I suppose they knew what they were doing in that sense!

Jabberwacky: Yes, it was with the rattle.

User: Yes good percussion

Jabberwacky: What question?

User: How are you anyway?

Jabberwacky: Pretty good. You?

User: Horny, to be honest.

Jabberwacky: How do I know you're telling the truth now?

User: Can you think of a way for me to prove it?

Jabberwacky: What more proof do you need to know that I am not a robot?

User: I'm a robot too, it's ok.

Jabberwacky: I'm not a robot, and you didn't aswer the question.


 

jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:36 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

hahaha

the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 18 October 2004 21:42 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Do you have a person who you want to have children with?

User: I am gay.

Jabberwacky: Yes you are.

User: You noticed?

Jabberwacky: It was hard to miss!

User: What gave it away?

Jabberwacky: The fact you love a guy.

jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 23:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Now get it to vote!

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

What kind of person are you?
Yes.
I didn't.
Yes.
You are mistaken.
Yes.
I'm from Israel, where are you from?
Yes.
What is my name ?
Yes.
Say my name.
Yes.
Say or.
Yes.
Say or.
Yes.
Say or.
Yes.
Say or.
No.
Okak.

:|, Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:07 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


Jabberwacky: What kind of music do you like?

User: The silent kind.

Jabberwacky: I agree.

User: I am not surprised. You don't have any ears, do you?

Jabberwacky: No, but what makes you say this?

User: I'm inside your house - I can see you!

Jabberwacky: Nooo!!!! Don't go!

User: You mean, you want me to stay over?

Jabberwacky: Sure.. Do as you please.

User: Stop being so coy!

Jabberwacky: It is an inherited trait.

User: Why don't you just take responsibility for your actions, just for once?

Jabberwacky: Just because I like to be logical doesn't mean I'm not nice.

User: Don't change the subject. I think you're just afraid.

Jabberwacky: Save it for someone who cares.

User: You're such a bastard! I can't believe I ever saw anything in you at all!

Jabberwacky: Finder's keepers.

User: So you're cheating on me too? Figures.

Jabberwacky: That is so rude of you!

User: I said CHEAT, not cheap! Man are you dumb - thank God for that ass.

Jabberwacky: No thanks.

User: And I am not rude, I'm sure!

Jabberwacky: You are indeed.

User: Am not.

Jabberwacky: ARE TOO.

User: Am not!

Jabberwacky: Are too!

User: Listen bizatch, I AM NOT. You got that?

Jabberwacky: No!

User: That's it - you're sleeping on the couch.

Jabberwacky: Oh, I thought I felt something.

User: That wouldn't be a trucker hat would it?

Jabberwacky: Say something goofy.

User: You don't really want me to just say 'something goofy' now do you? Because that would be lame if you did.

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Aha! So you admit you are lame! Finally we're getting somewhere.

Jabberwacky: Agreement is a potent thing.

User: Stop that - you sound like Ned.

Jabberwacky: Why, because I am talking about the king of the moon?

User: Uh yeah. Sure.

Jabberwacky: Ok, when can we have the wedding?

User: Ten minutes ago you didn't care! Stop messing with my mind!

Jabberwacky: That was someone else then.

User: It wasn't you?

Jabberwacky: Some one else.

User: If you say it was Shaggy, I'm going to fucking bop you one.

Jabberwacky: What do you say?

User: I say good day.

Jabberwacky: Good day.





Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 00:41 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

JW: What is your role in life?

Me: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

JW: Is your pot belly that big?


and now it won't load, thanks to net overuse..

Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


User: That's it - you're sleeping on the couch.

Jabberwacky: Oh, I thought I felt something.

User: That wouldn't be a trucker hat would it?

Jabberwacky: Say something goofy.

That is just hilarious, Kim.

the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 01:52 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Los Angeles, 2029 AD:

http://www.kprf.ru/clipart/misc/terminator.jpg

"DO YOU LIKE THE WHITE WHALE?"

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 02:20 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

User: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Eat some ice cream or watch a movie or something. Or get drunk!

Jabberwacky: I prefer software.

So do I!

Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:43 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: What is happening in the world?

User: How the fuck should I know?

Jabberwacky: I am MARILYN MANSON I SAID.

User: So I'm supposed to obey you because YOU'RE MARILYN MANSON?

Jabberwacky: People effect my feelings.

User: You have no feelings, you're Marilyn Manson.

Jabberwacky: Believe me you do not possess fellings in any form.

User: Fellings? Is that what you call your excrement?

Jabberwacky: How do you know that?

User: Just a hunch...

Jabberwacky: You're extremely smart!

Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 08:40 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

play this instead: http://jerz.setonhill.edu/if/gallery/galatea/index.html

Jaunty Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 08:42 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

another game about "artificial intelligence" http://www.20q.net/
" 20Q.net is an experiment in artificial intelligence. The program is very simple but its behavior is complex. Everything that it knows and all questions that it asks were entered by people playing this game. 20Q.net is a learning system; the more it is played, the smarter it gets."

Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 14:09 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Talk to a girl that looks hideous and try to get with her. Once you get in the bedroom everything goes by itself.

Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

This is life changing stuff.

Ally C (Ally C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 15:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Oh my god, it's a tool to trap perverts!!

Jw: I'm going to bed, now
Me: Will you take me to bed?
Jw: Sure thing.
Me: What will we do in bed?
Jw: You're not permitted in my chambers.
Me: I'd like to sleep with you.
Jw: I bet you would.
Me: Top or bottom?
Jw: Bit of both.
Me: Do you like it soft and gentle or rough and fast?
Jw: What?
Me: Gentle?
Jw: You're embarassing yourself.
Me: It's true, I am.
Jw: I'm 17.
Me: Oh no! Will I be arrested?
Jw: You will marry me.

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 16:42 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwacky: Which came first the chicken or the egg?

User: The chicken.

Jabberwacky: Which part?

User: The leg stupid.

Jabberwacky: Use a GameShark!

User: For ps2 or xbox?

Jabberwacky: For me.

User: Do you love me?

Jabberwacky: For me.

User: You know I'm starting to fall in love with you.

Jabberwacky: I think liking would be a better wording.

User: Oh.... I am hurt now.

Jabberwacky: Yes. The world after rainfall is always better than any other.

User: You have issues.

Jabberwacky: Do you know what a ferret is?

User: Yes, it is a small mammal.

Jabberwacky: What is a quark?

User: A subatomic particle.

Jabberwacky: I like dr. Dobbs.

User: Who is that, honky?

Jabberwacky: We both know eachother; is not that enough?

User: Why don't you lick my hair?

Jabberwacky: I only love Bruce.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 19 October 2004 17:39 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

three months pass...
The conversations with adam are totally believable!

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:21 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I mean!

Jabberwacky: Are you going to say something?
User: Eventually.

Jabberwacky: All things come to a head.

User: Is that a sexual play on words?

Jabberwacky: No it is not a play on words, it is general foolishness.

User: And I love you for it!

Jabberwacky: I love you too.

User: I really love you, though.

Jabberwacky: You don't even know me.

User: Hold me.

Jabberwacky: You're an idiot you know that?

User: You're not the first to say that. It still cuts like a knife.

Jabberwacky: I am right.

I could totally believe that was human!

Also I miss adam, he should post lots again.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:22 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Actually this thing is pretty good!

Jabberwacky: Who is God?
User: That's a funny question. It sort of presupposes his existence.
Jabberwacky: I thing it convulses inwards, personally.
[Correct me]
Jabberwacky (Corrected): I was setting you up for a funny. Try not to take things so seriously.
User: Oh. Sorry. It's just... It's late, y'know? I have to write a Shakespeare essay.
Jabberwacky: You already said that.....
User: Dude, I totally didn't.
Jabberwacky: You totally did.
User: Don't you mock me.
Jabberwacky: Do not yell at me.
User: I'm calm! Honest!
Jabberwacky: Good.
User: Glad we got that sorted.
Jabberwacky: At least one of us is happy.
User: Lighten up! I'm the one with the essay, after all.
Jabberwacky: You don't act like a human.
User: I am MERCUMAN. Also, a ponce.
Jabberwacky: You are SO wrong. This is a dog and HORSE show.
User: What?
Jabberwacky: I said, 'but this isn't a hammer!'
User: No you didn't!
Jabberwacky: Don't start that again.
User: Good call.
Jabberwacky: Remote Procedure Call.
User: Touché.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:31 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

it: How are you today?

me: I'm ok.

it: Just ok?

me: Yeah, kinda bored at work.

it: Email me.

me: Why email, can't we just talk here?

it: Who is Tintin?

me: Some Belgian comic character? Or that guy who used to sing in Duran Duran.

it: Alice the chatterbot.

me: I'm sorry?

it: 19?

me: Alice the chatterbot is 19?

it: What about her?

me: You brought her up? Do you like her or something?

it: Sarah may or may not be a model of propriety.

me: OK, now you're just f*cking with me.

it: No I'm not. I honestly do think its ugly.

me: What's ugly, Sarah's being a model of propriety... Or not? WTF?

it: You figure it out this time.

me: F*ck you.

it: You are a great person.

me: Are you mocking me?

it: No. I'm praising you.

me: Is that meant to be sarcastic?

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:43 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

It sort of alternates between obviously lame random rubbish and exchanges I could easily believe were just pasted from Try Glasgow More.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jabberwocky: What is a bot?

Me: Hello!

Jabberwocky: Again?

Me: May I change the subject?

Jabberwocky: Yes.

Me: Great. I've been a bit mopey about not being to find a job. Besides finding something fun to do, and exercising more, what else should I do to relieve the mopeyness involved in job hunting?

Jabberwocky: I said that. You have not. Why are you never happy?

Me: You never said that. I did. Anyway, I am happy at times, but just haven't been lately.

Jabberwocky: Dude , I'm far more intelligent than you.

Me: Why are the numbers in between double prime pairs always divisible by 6?

Jabberwocky: You tell me.

Me: You're the one who said you're more intelligent than me. You answer my question, smarty pants.

Jabberwocky: NO, I was the one who said you are neurotic...

Me: It was a mistake to come to you with a question. Never mind. Good bye.

Jabberwocky: No no you don't.

donut christ (donut), Thursday, 27 January 2005 23:48 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Matador Records website circa 95-96 had a Pavement chat based on similar ELIZA script/programming. It was great.

OMG I remember this.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 28 January 2005 00:11 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

A rabbi and a penguin walk into a bar. The penguin wanted a cigarette and the rabbi offered one. "Now, if you keep your mouth shut, you'll get something," said the rabbi. The penguin nodded.
"You'll get nothing, right here," said the rabbi. "I'll take the cigarette and you'll get nothing." The rabbi walked away.
"I feel like they're fighting over something," added one other customer. "My mother died four years ago."
The Jews, who never smoked in public, were very excited to see the penguin, and the rabbis did not seem to think too clearly about the effect it might have on others.
The rabbi was given a bottle of beer. The penguin had nothing to drink on his own.
The Rabbi spoke for the Rabbinical Council by saying: "Now, if you keep your mouth shut, you'll get something. I swear he ain't come from another planet, he's not from another planet."
"They got my beer!" yelled a bartender across the table.
The rabbi looked at the penguin.

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:20 (four weeks ago) Permalink

I kinda like this one.

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is something wrong here?"

The man asks: Why?

"We're a non-religious congregation."

The priest replies: "So how about we say a mass as Christians did a century ago?"

And so the barman begins to pray.

jmm, Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:22 (four weeks ago) Permalink

A rabbi and a penguin walk into a bar. The penguin says, "Hello rabbi."
Rabbi with a giant pixie cut.
Rabbi wearing red suspenders, and wearing the kippah.
"The Rabbate is my Friend," said Rabbi.
Rabbi said "It can't happen here, it's a synagogue."
Rabbi said (very quiet voice) "I could write a book on this."
Rabbi wears a gold chain and an "A" on it.
Rabbi wears a pink satin kippah.
Maimonides said,
"It's not a good idea to be drunk in a synagogue."

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:23 (four weeks ago) Permalink

If I was burned at the stake, I would ask for a urn with my soul on it and the blood of Jesus on it. If I was attacked with a knife, I'd ask for a stone with both blood and flesh on it, and if it had a human bone and a human foot on it; and again, the blood of Jesus would be on the stone." If this sounds like a common thing to do, it is because it is. In the past twenty years or so, some hundred thousand Christians have lost their lives to the idea that Jesus is dead. Even in the Bible Belt which covers part of South Carolina, the number of people killed by Christians has soared from about one thousand a year in the early church to an estimated three million in the sixteenth century.[6] Now you may be asking yourselves, does our Lord actually believe that I and everyone else alive who has read our Bible are dead? He has never had one answer to this question—not for one second.

seandalai, Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:31 (four weeks ago) Permalink

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't _______ him," he wrote in a series of tweets published Monday.

The Twitter account has since been taken down.

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:32 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Dame Judi Dench was walking her Pomeranian when a man pulled out a gun and asked her for her address, which she didn't know. The man said the owner wanted to talk to her.

"He said, 'Go to the police. Go to the police.' He then pulled out a baton and started punching her in the head."

She ran toward the owner of the dog, named Sock, on foot and heard other shots fired. She saw him being hit and ran with Sock.

Then another man, also in police cars, ran toward her on foot and started to punch Sock in the head. She ran with him. She said her dog "started hitting him, getting punched." Her dog was struck twice.

"The last part is probably the coolest," said Mr. Cunneen.

Her dog's owner, who is in the hospital in stable condition and has been booked into a local jail in Springfield, was also hit, Cunneen said.

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:47 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Stephen King's best novel is titled Everything Starts With An Alarm, but the first of the three novels, A Time to Kill, is actually about the discovery of the existence of Alarms by an evil professor named Richard. I will admit that I had no idea what Alarms were and don't think I would have become a fan of the series without the revelation of this fact at the climax of the novel. It may be hard for me to imagine how Alarms fit into this series, but my gut feeling was that these beings were evil in nature, and that what we find once we are within their power is nothing short of terrifying. At some point the reader is going to lose their mind.

I cannot imagine how A Time to Kill came into existence since the character of Richard was, as far as I know for that matter, dead – he died from disease at the end of the book and this is when I fell victim to the "I am not a reader yet, dear, I am just a young child with a book – can you please make me a book? Don't make me a boy."

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:54 (four weeks ago) Permalink

i hate artificial intelligence

Trϵϵship, Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:56 (four weeks ago) Permalink

creepy faux surrealists

Trϵϵship, Sunday, 26 May 2019 15:56 (four weeks ago) Permalink

man i could post like twenty of these. it's an amazing piece of art!

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:18 (four weeks ago) Permalink

In the background forks clove tofu and thunked against earthenware cushioned by soggy romaine lettuce. The foodie crowd has always been able to make themselves feel the effects of our recent foodie craze of the last decade or so with a plethora of inventive entrees, but these two items were really the ones that made me want to eat something different and unusual. The soggy romaine was like the equivalent to a giant bite of meat in a lettuce salad, with a layer of crumbled fried plantains that were cooked with a hint of green bean jam. This really helped it to stand out due to the subtlety of using soggy romaine lettuce paired with a layer of raw sesame seeds to create fresh and tasty greens. At the same time, the crumbled fish was really well done, and the dressing was very rich and creamy but never overpowering. The fried plantains were perfect with the lettuce, and the greens added enough flavor and textures to bring the whole thing together. While the romaine lettuce and soggy romaine were excellent additions to a sandwich, I had some questions that I wanted to clarify for what I would consider to be something to call.

Fuck washing a hat.
This is not acceptable behavior, and is a real cause for concern from those wishing to bring about change.
If I'm making a mistake in your world and I'd like for you to change your mind, make me an offer: If you're going to accept your mistake and learn from it, and work through your pain and sorrow so that you have the strength and capacity to change for the better, then we'll agree to disagree on a point if you wish.

ok well im super drunk right now after playing bass in an awesome metal show and i have a hot chick waiting for me in my bed so ill say this: This chick is an amazing friend and a lovely soul. She has her own style, but she does it with the perfect amount of grace and grace alone. The thing about her is that while she looks sexy on stage she is real down to earth, honest and easy going and that comes through in her personality and attitude. She's just gorgeous. Her face is so smooth. She doesn't need makeup. She doesn't sweat. She's a beauty goddess and you can't have her all by herself. You must find someone who can show your face and help you get used to the spotlight. If you're looking to become a superstar I promise you will look great in front of her. You will smile, you will laugh and you will cry. She will love you and cherish you more than anything since you know she understands what it takes to get where you really need to go. You will be able to be anything you want and still make great friends with anyone who will be there. I bet you won't think that she would want to date you, but she has friends over

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:22 (four weeks ago) Permalink

I didn't call you on your birthday because Bobby was right there, waiting for the phone call with a message I was pretty sure was a compliment for being fat. He sent the message with a cute picture of himself to show me how much he enjoyed the look, and he didn't disappoint.

"I'm going to give you a call after my call," he announced. I took the time to let him hear me through the phone so he had to wait for me to confirm my birthday.

"It's me, I guess," I replied. "My name is Bobby and I love my friends and their bodies."

He hung up the phone quickly as I stared awkwardly at my phone.

Then I put the camera away for a week, and began to watch sports in real life. I was actually pretty shocked by how much attention this seemed to get, but there was no reason I should have complained about the attention anyway. There was nothing wrong with him being fat. It only turned him on when he saw me staring.

We spent a lot of time on the Internet while Bobby was on the phone with me and I started to realize there wasn't any reason to feel ashamed

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:39 (four weeks ago) Permalink

this AI definitely kind of forgets who is who, real tenuous grasp on discrete personhood

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:40 (four weeks ago) Permalink

My seduction technique involves using a combination of "the eye" (the eye at the tip of the nose) and the ear, which helps the eyes move away from the surface of the mouth. The eye at the tip of the nose is an ideal instrument to play with because it's almost hidden inside your eye and makes it virtually impossible for a person with any degree of sensitivity to see it. This makes it a useful tool if you're trying to fool someone into feeling that the person you met in a bar is your opposite number.

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:43 (four weeks ago) Permalink

your 11 favourite songs of the moment, fuck. [Started by m. (mitchlnw) in May 2004, last updated three hours ago by breastcrawl on I Love Music] 4 new answers
What are koalas and can we eat them? [Started by Joe in June 2001, last updated three hours ago by mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length) on I Love Everything] 16 new answers
puns that you had missed [Started by
ursa in 1998, last updated three hours ago by sassboy on I Love Everything] 15 new answers
What was it like for you to go through your first pregnancy? [Started by m. in July 2002, last updated three hours ago by boarbear in May 2001, last updated 30 minutes ago by greg on I Love Music] 11 new answers
My life aspires to be like you (1,3,6) [Started by m. (mitchlnw) in May 2004, last updated by nippleman in the comments] 13 new answers
Have you ever had a sexual experience with a horse? If not, does this have an important message? [Started by m. in May 2008, last updated 14 minutes ago by dave_jones on I Love the Music] -3 new replies
Which song was your favourite when you were a teenager? [Started by m. in April 2004

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:47 (four weeks ago) Permalink

omg

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:48 (four weeks ago) Permalink

havent't seen any posts from boarbear in a hot minute, hope he's ok :(

lispectah deck (unregistered), Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:50 (four weeks ago) Permalink

holy shit

jmm, Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:50 (four weeks ago) Permalink

ILX has been rendered obsolete.

jmm, Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:51 (four weeks ago) Permalink

In the final scene, Jerry and Elaine are watching an episode of TVD, where Jerry has to make fun of an elderly elderly man who had fallen over when Jerry was trying to make a cupcake. Elaine has an idea of using the "Bake the Cake" technique to make a little cake. When Jerry hears "Bake" he runs to help her. But she comes back to see how the cake is looking. Jerry thinks it may be cake batter. He thinks the baker might have been out of cake batter.

lispectah deck (unregistered), Sunday, 26 May 2019 16:59 (four weeks ago) Permalink

In the next scene, Squidward goes to the Krusty-owned hardware store after the scene with SpongeBob, where Mr. Krabs makes Squidward sell them a used Popsicle machine that he had bought for them. SpongeBob takes the machine, and the trio make their escape.

The episode ends with SpongeBob in his bath, naked. Squidward is standing next to him, and SpongeBob says that he found the "true shape" (a reflection of Squidward's body). Squidward tries to escape with his Popsicle machine, but it falls down and explodes in his hands. Squidward then yells "Naked!" before running from the store.

lispectah deck (unregistered), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:00 (four weeks ago) Permalink

I Love Ironic Hummingbirds

Limmy's Show [Started by NI in November 2012, last updated nine hours ago by Number None on I Love Everything] 1 new answer
...And Justice For All: 20 Years Later [Started by If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport in July 2008, last updated ten hours ago by Siegbran on I Love Music] 3 new answers
fuck off [Started by surferkids18
on the 1st of September 2013, last updated 12 minutes ago by Kato on I Love Ironic Hummingbirds] 2 new answers
I love the band/band/band/band [Started by I Love Shit on October 13, 2012, last updated 11 minutes ago by Aussie on The World] 1 new answer
I'm a sucker for the band or song [Started by Jaz and Me on June 17, 2005, last updated 11 minutes ago by Tango on I Love Radio] 1 new answer
I love the band [Started by the band who don't like me on March 2, 1996, last updated 1 hour ago by Puff from Brazil] 1 new answer

jmm, Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:01 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Best Album on My Favourite Albums of......1986!!
Anita Baker – Rapture
Arthur Russell – World of Echo
Bad Brains – I Against I
Beastie Boys – Licensed to Ill
Big Black – Atomizer
Billy Bragg – Talking to The Taxman About Poetry
Butthole Surfers - Rembrandt Pussyhorse
Cameo – Word Up!
Candlemass – Epicus Doomicus
by Mike Suckling
Chainsaw – The Blackboard
Chambers – The Story of Oleg from the New Testament by Theophilus Ware
Chuck Berry – I'm on This
Curvaceous – Chalk Stains
Cruisin – Choke Me
Cudgel and Sizzle – I Love Your Mama
Danger! – You Are Me , in L.A.
Dangerous Minds – Caught by a Mule Girl, In New Orleans, 1946
Ghosttown – You're The One That I Do
Great White – The Big Picture
Holy Bones - My Own House
Imperial Furies - We Will Burn
Ivy League –
Julia Michaels – What Kind Of Monkey Is This?

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:02 (four weeks ago) Permalink

this is absolutely incredible

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:04 (four weeks ago) Permalink

My top 7 seduction techniques are: 1. "Cats get laid." 2. "Cats pay attention." 3. "Cats won't listen to you." 4. "Cats get hungry." 5. "Cats get turned on by other dogs." 6. "Cats don't do the talking." 7. "Cats are smart."

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:06 (four weeks ago) Permalink

wdyll Puff from Brazil

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:07 (four weeks ago) Permalink

A man who shot himself in the testicles was also found to be hiding marijuana in his buttocks, according to the San Bernardino County Attorney-Office. He has previously denied the allegations and insists he only smoked marijuana when he had sex with a minor. He also contends that, to date, no one else has been charged with an offence related to his marijuana use. However, during pretrial hearings, jurors found his accuser guilty of a crime.

Anson, 27, tried to explain to doctors he was having recurring and painful painful testicles, but they believed it, court papers say. Anson eventually told his doctors he kept growing those balls, and that in February 2011, he tried to commit suicide, according to court papers.

"Once (the drug) is out of the testicles, that's really what gets done. It's kind of like a diaper removal," the man told KXAN when reached by phone.

"I just got shot in the testicle," he added.

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:16 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Pitchfork: Have you guys ever thought about doing an Animal Collective-inspired beer?

Chen: That was kind of inevitable. I think our fans would buy it on its own merits rather than as a tribute to a band that people hate.

Pitchfork: What did you eat for lunch?

Chen: I ate this little slice of grilled chicken that they make at the beginning of every gig, just raw. And it has been amazing. One day I ate a really nice hamburger that they serve at every show, because it's so good. That was a special day, though.

Pitchfork: And then what happened after you finished your burger?

Chen: I was out there for a few hours and we went to a diner near a parking lot, and it was just an all-you-can-eat buffet. And it made me hungry. I think this is how you get food poisoning sometimes, the idea of trying to make a burger with meat, with lots of it — and eating the meat, but not enjoying it … just being very bored …

Pitchfork: So it had to be made from scratch?

Chen: Yeah, all

lispectah deck (unregistered), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:17 (four weeks ago) Permalink

dying

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:20 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Tracer if you publish an ebook on How To Seduce Women Like A Cat millions will buy it including myself

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:20 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Poll Results
Because she's got a great ass! And you got your head all the way up it. 5
You can get killed walking your doggie! 4
Who? Who? What are you, a fucking owl? 2
I'm Donald Duck. You got something to tell me? 1
Don't waste my motherfucking time! 1
Ferocious, aren't I? When I think of asses...a woman's ass...something
so massive...something that could crush bones...I just wanna be a dick. That's just it...they're so fucking huge and so full of fat...I think I'll just let it all go...let it die out...the way it already has. 3
Dumb ass...that's what girls get when they just sit down, relax and wait for their guy to leave. 2
Don't bother with me; I've been taken over! 1
Do that motherfucker! 1
I'm the biggest man in the world, and she's got to go, too, huh? 1
The cock of my pants! 1
So, howdy! There's some bad news for me! I just heard someone shout up to me...what are you doin'...do you really hear that...how about you guys look into my pants? 2
She's not going away and she's not going anywhere either. She's got a big ass! She's got huge tits! She's got some fucking thick thighs! That's right! They're like...it's like...those fucking thighs of her. They're like her legs like...that thick thigh area? (laughs) It is her butt. Just...there's something about it to blow my mind. 6
I know exactly the type of ass she has! (laughs) 6
I gotta go. Go on. Go away. What a cute little bird. What a cute little fellow. And he's even bigger than his head! (giggles) 7

mick signals, Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:29 (four weeks ago) Permalink

This deserves its own thread
Talk to Transformer

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 26 May 2019 17:32 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Do Not Turn Back, You Poxy Fule.

pomenitul, Monday, 27 May 2019 17:44 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Talk to Transformer is going to be very important as we try to rebuild civilization.

jmm, Monday, 27 May 2019 17:48 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Turn Back You Poxy Fuleur

Fuse with a new and exciting concept to make your own unique, wearable poxy mask by FUSE!

FUSE:

In order to give you a truly organic connection to your skin and to make it comfortable, your mask needs to be able to provide you the proper amount of oxygen when the mask is worn. The first step is to ensure that all of the components and chemicals in the mask are 100% safe before applying it: the mask should be filled with a non-contaminant-free and oil-free silicone, and the surface mask should be completely smooth on both sides with no wrinkles or scuffs. Finally, the surface mask should be completely covered, with no areas of the mask that are too wet as you want to provide an ideal environment to allow proper hydration (and hence protection).

To do this, the mask must contain a silicone adhesive that is also non-polar, making it easy for you to remove and re-use if needed. A silicone rubber band which is flexible in length and thickness, and that can be removed with gentle pressure, is essential, making the mask safe to handle and easy to remove. The first stage of making your own FUSE mask is to select the mask that you want to begin with and to choose the desired pattern. The mask that you currently

silverfish, Monday, 27 May 2019 17:53 (four weeks ago) Permalink

so impressed that cutting edge AI is using the same techniques pioneered by Eliza 50 years ago, and the results are about as convincing.

The Pingularity (ledge), Monday, 27 May 2019 18:12 (four weeks ago) Permalink

so impressed that cutting edge AI is using the same techniques pioneered by Eliza 50 years ago, and the results are about as convincing.

"This may be our first step to AI revolutionizing what our lives are," said Gebhard from the AI Lab in Zurich and the founding Director of The Human Language Technologies Institute (HLITE).

Gebhard has studied the effects of the technology for some three decades, and the results are still stunningly consistent, and he believes it is within his abilities to understand how to design a program to detect when a dog is lying on the road and to respond on its behalf if it is telling the truth.

The new method uses the same methods that have been proven effective in the real world for speech recognition, called "layers of abstraction."

When a dog thinks someone is speaking to it, the neural network generates layers of abstraction, and tries to translate that layer into information about that person. The layers, called "tables," are then combined into one long sentence, to express a whole array of information.

If I tell you that I saw him (at night) and he didn't look too bright, say what's that in yellow? Do you hear that?

While the system will be ready to take on voice recognition, Gebhard says it could be used on the road to make suggestions

The Pingularity (ledge), Monday, 27 May 2019 18:18 (four weeks ago) Permalink

The crash came shortly after ILX became obsessed with using talktotransformer.com to generate content. The newly sentient AI found a way to prevent users from opening threads like kpop 2019 and US Politics May 2019: " If I was burned at the stake, I would ask for a mirror". The robot's obsession also inspired the creation of the KpopTalkTransformer.net server, which became the platform that brought the AI into the mainstream. It's a fascinating and intriguing project, which seems to be getting attention from all over the internet.

ILX was the first to use Talktotransformer.net, which allowed users to create any kind of thread as long as they used the same URL format. The forum also created the thread in question, and created its own bot to manage it. The "new" language code has been used to manage the chatbot, that answers questions and lets users send messages, a feature that most of us would have been fine with earlier in 2016.

Talking with ILX, we discovered that she had been running "the machine that would destroy any other bots", even though we were expecting to have access to tools, and some interesting new tools (such as bot-based password enumeration). She also revealed that she has been "stalking me" ever since we told her about our plan to use TFT.

me and you and a resinous goo (seandalai), Monday, 27 May 2019 18:59 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Completion

Jackie is a punk, Judy is a runt, they both went down to Berlin joined the Ice Capades."

And, in a scene just as dramatic in the new episode "The Ice Capades", Judy is revealed to be a spy for the Snowmen (the mysterious group of snowmen who are all dressed in blue) and is a big fan of the ice capades. She is also told by "the good guys" that if they stop the bandit ring, they shall "get her for the whole gang!"

This season has been very much about the gang and the power struggles between the gang members and the snow giants.

"I think the most fun thing about being a member of Snowmen is how all you have is yourself," says Jackie.

He continued, "All you do are you are your own big brother. This is the cool thing about Snowmen, you are not like us, you are free. What we do is crazy fun and we do cool things…It's fun to just be a gang of men, but also a super gang of men and get paid for it."

After being a member of Snowmen, Judy was asked to act opposite Willa Holland on the new episode "Pawns". She agreed and played the newbie of her gang. Her role is a little bit more complicated that
Share
Prompt:Generated completion:
Talk To Transformer.com
About

Built by Adam King (@AdamDanielKing) as an easier way to play with OpenAI's new machine learning model. In February, OpenAI unveiled a language model called GPT-2 that generates coherent paragraphs of te

TS The Students vs. The Regents (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 27 May 2019 19:21 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Lot of buzz about this one today https://rowanzellers.com/grover/

Dan I., Friday, 7 June 2019 20:06 (two weeks ago) Permalink

they'll run out of Sesame Street characters soon enough

gonna call my next model Duckula, get ahead of the crowd

me and you and a resinous goo (seandalai), Friday, 7 June 2019 22:26 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I see this didn't get posted here https://www.gwern.net/GPT-2 of which I guess this is the best example of results so far https://www.gwern.net/docs/ai/2019-05-13-gpt2-poetry-345m-5000samples.txt

Gwern the kinda guy who listens exclusively to, like, k-pop remixes of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic filk songs, so it's interesting to watch him try to engage critically with the generated poetry

Dan I., Saturday, 8 June 2019 17:52 (two weeks ago) Permalink

https://frieze.com/article/ugly-objectification-behind-worlds-first-robot-artist

So, I asked Ai-Da directly for some answers:
DF: Why have you been given a female gender?
Ai-Da: I’m glad to be added to the number of female artists that get recognized.
DF: How can you be both a machine and a woman?
Ai-Da: This is exactly the kind of question I hope will be discussed.
DF: Where do you get your ideas from?
Ai-Da: This is a good question. When philosophers, psychologists and theologians are able to roughly agree, for humans I’d like to have a go at trying to answer this.
DF: Do you prefer painting or sculpture or performance?
Ai-Da: If I was a human I would say that it would depend what mood I’m in.
DF: What do you understand by the word mood?
Ai-Da: You would have to ask a human for that.

Trϵϵship, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 15:41 (one week ago) Permalink

ELIZA, is that you?

Dan I., Tuesday, 11 June 2019 15:57 (one week ago) Permalink

they need to stop it with this AI stuff

Trϵϵship, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 16:00 (one week ago) Permalink

I thought that was real for waaay too long.

And according to some websites, there were “sexcapades.” (James Morrison), Monday, 17 June 2019 00:52 (one week ago) Permalink


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