The smooth jazz station

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I put it on last night while I was reading...and god it was good. Everything became sleek, sexy, cosmopolitan. My apartment could have been at the top of a giant steel and glass apartment block in the middle of a city, the epitome of high rise living.

There wasn't a drinks cabinet or a humidor in the room, but there may as well have been.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Which smooth jazz station?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Hold on Michael - I'll check the frequency. It was out of SF. I will be listening often.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Something like 103.7FM.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:57 (nineteen years ago) link

Egad, young man!!! Put on your ear condoms, man, you're listening to KKSF!!! Listen to a real jazz station: KCSM 91.1.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:01 (nineteen years ago) link

The smooth jazz station in my market has switched to an all-classical. No more Bob Parlocha. :(

― briania (briania), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:04 (nineteen years ago) link

They had Bob Parlocha on a smooth jazz station? The 'real' jazz station in Milwaukee switched programming too, from playing good jazz to playing safe, anonymous straight-ahead all the time. They stopped running Bob Parlocha too, and no one does in Madison. That was my favorite radio show for a long time, I bought a lot of records because of that guy.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Egad, young man!!! Put on your ear condoms, man, you're listening to KKSF!!!

B-b-b-but Michael, I can listen to "real jazz' anytime I want! Last night it was obvious I needed pure canned muzak! It's so oddly compelling!

(Though a bit frightening that there are people that can spend their entire lives listening to Kenny G and George Benson)

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:14 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm sorry adam, but I get homicidal around that stuff. Not even just for the music but because every single willing listener to that station that I've ever met has been a walking argument for retro-active abortion.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, I was a big Parlocha fan, too. They ran his show during the day, and the Tom Scott stuff the rest of the time. I even liked it when Bob would get all apologetic about playing something he deemed too "out."

― briania (briania), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:21 (nineteen years ago) link

My local NPR radio station used to have Parlocha too, my dad loved it, but now they have switched to this "JazzWorks" show. And what is this awful "Hearts of Space" thing?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:29 (nineteen years ago) link

http://krant.telegraaf.nl/krant/ditjaar/valentijn2001/fotos/valentijn2001.kadotips.sade.jpg

"Smooth Jazz" mean Sade on the hour, every hour.

Do they jam the Norah too?

― andy, Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:32 (nineteen years ago) link

I know it probably seems like I'm being ironic, and I would be if I was a few years younger, but if I am to be honest no music is more comforting to me right now than this music. I can honestly believe that everything is going to be all right with myself and the world, that I am being beckoned gradually towards my 30s and eventual middle age and that I might actually one day own a yacht.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:34 (nineteen years ago) link

In NY it's CD 101.9...and it's always playing at Salvation Army stores.

― 57 7th (calstars), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh, and Sade is hot.

― 57 7th (calstars), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:36 (nineteen years ago) link

I remember "Hearts of Space" being on NPR at least 15 years ago! Pretty much all wallpaper, but sometimes I'd be drifting off to sleep and realize they were playing Cluster or something.

TS: smooth jazz vs. new age? Hard choice for me, since there's stuff I like a lot on the fringes of both genres, and the rest is easily ignorable.

― briania (briania), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Sade is great!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Simply Red - Not so great

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Sade is lovely. Pls call when u get yacht. We'll sail around Angel Island, k thx bye.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

yr a sick man adam

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:08 (nineteen years ago) link

I think I'm going to start a Bob Parlocha thread on ILM.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Q: Smooth jazz is to real jazz as...

a) Canadian whiskey is to Irish whiskey.
b) Cool Whip(tm) is to whipped heavy cream.
c) George W. Bush is to George Washington.
d) The 101 Strings is to Igor Stravinsky.
e) All of the above.

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Adam, go to brunch at the Hotel Nikko... KKSF broaccasts live from the main dining room... it's pretty funny.

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:04 (nineteen years ago) link

jazz is wank. does it ever go anywhere?

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I put KKSF on live stream when I got home. Then I polished my revolver and prayed to oooobaaabbbuuuu.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:08 (nineteen years ago) link

adam you are like brother to me

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:10 (nineteen years ago) link

thanks BULBS

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:11 (nineteen years ago) link

but i am concerned your life will end in middle age

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:11 (nineteen years ago) link

:(
me too

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:13 (nineteen years ago) link

so forget this for now and do not plan to revisit. for i see a boating accident.

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:14 (nineteen years ago) link

It is a sexy way to go.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:15 (nineteen years ago) link

yes. you dream of it?

― bulbs (bulbs), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:18 (nineteen years ago) link

among many other things...yes.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:20 (nineteen years ago) link

for a brief period of time when I was like 21 I somehow found myself PROGRAMMING and ANNOUNCING on a smooth jazz station. It was highly surreal.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 15 October 2004 13:16 (nineteen years ago) link

This is a frightening thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 15 October 2004 13:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Dude, they playes Lisa Stansfield at 7:00 this morning!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 15 October 2004 14:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Our smooth jazz station here has all these songs where the bass player tries to get "funky". It is highly roffleworthy.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 15 October 2004 14:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Me and Helltime used to get fucked up at his house and then spend Saturday afternoon hungover watching BET Jazz on cable. For some reason that channel was the funniest, most entertaining thing in the world to us in that state of mind.

My parents listen to smooth jazz a lot. My mom was getting into "guitar jazz" a bit until I told her that was Weather Channel music and ruined it for her.

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT 64), Friday, 15 October 2004 15:02 (nineteen years ago) link

'Weather Channel' has got to be the worst name for a band ever. At least they didn't have rock pretensions, that would make it even worse.

― 57 7th (calstars), Friday, 15 October 2004 15:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, BET Jazz is pretty funny, I watch it when I go back to my dad's house. Except, when he first got it I caught all these genuinely awesome shows like Live at the Knitting Factory. I've had to let go of genuine expectations and enjoy the videos of smooth-reggae-jazz bands playing outside for tourists ordering fruity drinks.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 16:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Three reasons I’m creeped out by “smooth jazz” stations like Chicago’s WNUA: (a) was always on in creepy mostly-porn video store on my old block, store where I’d be renting Harold and Maude or something and the old Russian lady behind the counter would literally encourage me to rent porn instead; (b) makes me paranoid that Steve Harvey is following me; (c) seems on some level to be all about ass, but not as honest as hip-hop about it, to the point where I start imagining Dave Koz’s face getting all constipated around a reed but then you go behind it and you just know in his head he’s thinking about big buttcheeks slathered in hot oil. It’s like being a Jimmy Buffett fan: this is some weird overadult version of crazysexycool that I just can’t get with.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 15 October 2004 16:08 (nineteen years ago) link

best post of the day

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 16:10 (nineteen years ago) link

(b) makes me paranoid that Steve Harvey is following me

hahahahaha

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Nabisco OTM, but damnit, smooth jazz makes you furniture look better.

There wasn't a drinks cabinet or a humidor in the room, but there may as well have been.

Hmmm... I have a beer and a cigarette. Does that count?

I love Sade. Make that lurv. I want to snuggle with her. My girlfriend has all the same objections to smooth jazz that nabisco has (I suspect -- anyway she objects to it) but she's not home today. Time for Diamond Life. No need to ask. I'm a smooth operator.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 16:44 (nineteen years ago) link

(c) seems on some level to be all about ass, but not as honest as hip-hop about it

This reminds me -- Sade doesn't get sampled enough. Is she not giving up the permissions? Seems like a no-brainer to me.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 16:45 (nineteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

sade is totally wicked and beautiful and all that but her klingon hairline freaks me out a bit.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 8 November 2004 18:47 (nineteen years ago) link

'Weather Channel' has got to be the worst name for a band ever. At least they didn't have rock pretensions, that would make it even worse.

Do you mean Weather Report? Or is there actually a band called Weather Channel?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 8 November 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

haha I so hope there is. "Ladies and gentlemen, Weather Channel featuring Al Jarreau!"

― Kenan (kenan), Monday, 8 November 2004 19:05 (nineteen years ago) link

eight months pass...

Adam, do you have a favorite smooth jazz song? Kenan, do you?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 18:28 (eighteen years ago) link

I dunno, probably Your Love Is King or Sweetest Taboo. Predictable, I know.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 19:18 (eighteen years ago) link

I need to just get Sade's greatest hits. For the car.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 19:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Do you like "Kiss of Life"?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 19:23 (eighteen years ago) link

Not so much.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 19:23 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't like it when they fuck with the formula. Smooth Jazz is one of the few genres that *should* be as reductive as possible. There should really only be one smooth jazz song, and there practically is!

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 19:23 (eighteen years ago) link

Least favorite smooth jazz song: any cover of something that started out as actual jazz.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 19:32 (eighteen years ago) link

My sister's dog loves it, for some reason.

― crown victoria (dymaxia), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 22:31 (eighteen years ago) link

my favorite smooth jazz song is after hours by ronny jordan

― ronny longjohns (ronny longjohns), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 00:44 (eighteen years ago) link

and thats some smooth jazz

― ronny longjohns (ronny longjohns), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 00:45 (eighteen years ago) link

eight months pass...

You know what's good? "What You Won't Do for Love" by Go West.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 6 April 2006 04:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I like Chuck Man-Jones

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 6 April 2006 04:38 (eighteen years ago) link

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000068G4U.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 6 April 2006 09:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Go West's "King of Wishful Thinking" (from the Pretty Woman soundtrack) is pretty good, too -- but I don't think of it as smooth jazz as much.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 6 April 2006 12:05 (eighteen years ago) link

The Very Best of Smooth Jazz looks like it has some good stuff on it.

― Gilbert O'Sullivan (kenan), Thursday, 6 April 2006 12:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Louis Armstrong seems an odd choice for it, though. Or did he do some album in the late sixties involving synthesizers and fretless bass and the like?

Or maybe he's "smooth" because he was a tireless promoter of Swiss Kriss laxative.

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 6 April 2006 12:45 (eighteen years ago) link

And reefer. Can't forget the reefer.

― Gilbert O'Sullivan (kenan), Thursday, 6 April 2006 13:04 (eighteen years ago) link

That's true, but we Smooth Jazz types call it "grass."

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 6 April 2006 13:18 (eighteen years ago) link

"for i see a boating accident."

More like a yachting accident.

Stay Smooth.

― Chairman Doinel (Charles McCain), Thursday, 6 April 2006 14:07 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...

I was going to start a "Defend the Indefensible" thread about this crap, due to my cube-mate steadily assaulting me with this crap, but I see that a case has already been made. Okay. I can probably live with Sade, she's just fine. But the rest of it makes me psycho. There was a vocalese version of "Blue Rondo Ala Turk" that was played THREE TIMES the other day and now I need a very sharp knife.

― 100% CHAMPS with a Yes! Attitude. (Austin, Still), Monday, 12 June 2006 15:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I said 'this crap' twice. That makes it three. IT DESERVES MORE!

THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP THIS CRAP

― 100% CHAMPS with a Yes! Attitude. (Austin, Still), Monday, 12 June 2006 15:36 (seventeen years ago) link

three years pass...

Has smooth jazz died, yet? The smell emanating from that direction is inconclusive.

― Aimless, Wednesday, 19 May 2010 04:08 (thirteen years ago) link

a lady at my work listens to this all day. she's really really stupid.

― Guns, Computer, The Internet (harbl), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 11:05 (thirteen years ago) link

How is it that Kenny G is so, so horrible and this album so, so wonderful, and yet they are both "smooth jazz?"

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_cLxnR3lIheA/R5D3GCEKoAI/AAAAAAAAAqY/hWQDoXR9sv8/s320/Picture+1.png

― I turn it up when I hear the banjo (Dan Peterson), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 15:32 (thirteen years ago) link

Man, I'm not on prescription drugs right now, but I'll tell you - when I do get prescribed percoset or demerol for something, smooth jazz always feels perfect.

― ljagljana (kkvgz), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 15:43 (thirteen years ago) link

They play smooth jazz in Penn Station and I FUCKING HATE WALKING FROM THE TRAIN TO THE SUBWAY BECAUSE OF IT.

― (Rice Dream) (Stevie D), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 18:22 (thirteen years ago) link

three years pass...

Inspired to revive by the George Benson thread. But this thread has way more LOL.

― that's not my post, Thursday, 4 July 2013 07:31 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/07/arts/music/smooth-jazz-finds-new-ways-to-reach-its-audience.html?pagewanted=all

― More Than a Century With the Polaris Emblem (calstars), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 02:28 (ten years ago) link

rough times for smooth jazz

― HOOS next aka won't get steened again (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 02:42 (ten years ago) link

But oh oh just you wait

“That groove just sounds like the groove of smooth jazz,” Mr. Koz said of “Get Lucky,” that album’s lead single, which has sold more than a million copies. With a hope that may or may not have been forged by desperation, he added: “When I heard that record, I was like: ‘O.K., I don’t know how this happened. But it feels like the right time for this. It’s gaining momentum. We’re in the place that we should be.’ ”

― only dogg forgives (Eazy), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 02:45 (ten years ago) link

lol Dave Koz otm

― HOOS next aka won't get steened again (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 02:46 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hApx-ufwmpg

koz is otm, check out these smooth moves. daft punk can learn a thing or two from the master.

― Spectrum, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 02:57 (ten years ago) link

but seriously, we're in a weird period where smooth jazz has attained a certain ehhh ... hipness. steely dan worship, vaporwave, etc. maybe we'll see the smooth cruise move from the arts section to the style section soon. dave koz will get all the hipster pussy his reed-licking lips desires.

― Spectrum, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 03:02 (ten years ago) link

IDK, I think "hipster" smooth jazz appreciation is still kind of a province of record nerds and not really a broader thing.

― HOOS next aka won't get steened again (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 03:47 (ten years ago) link

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwBpGU8RY3A

― example (crüt), Monday, 29 June 2015 14:59 (eight years ago) link

three years pass...

Going from an ILE thread, I was looking up High Llamas' "Go to Montecito" and then looked up other songs with Montecito in the title, and subsequently found the smoothiest smooth-jazz number from 1994, right before The Year Smooth Jazz Broke.

Dig!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTI4YeDZ4Dc

― ... (Eazy), Tuesday, 11 December 2018 15:25 (five years ago) link

but seriously, we're in a weird period where smooth jazz has attained a certain ehhh ... hipness. steely dan worship, vaporwave, etc. maybe we'll see the smooth cruise move from the arts section to the style section soon. dave koz will get all the hipster pussy his reed-licking lips desires.
― Spectrum, Wednesday, July 31, 2013 3:02 AM (five years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

When the kids conceived to and raised by smooth jazz get to college, this is what happens.

― ... (Eazy), Tuesday, 11 December 2018 15:30 (five years ago) link

two years pass...

Najee- Tokyo blue

https://open.spotify.com/track/32d6ytZTye3l0B5esYV4tM

― calstars, Sunday, 17 January 2021 00:02 (three years ago) link

three months pass...

https://open.spotify.com/track/77k3JZgqWuXySU6CrmAHJs?si=zzMP4OQXRCSfx0PnA2n3HA&dl_branch=1

I can’t stop listening to this Lynn cannon track!

― calstars, Saturday, 8 May 2021 23:41 (three years ago) link

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