Freelance Hivemind: We Are Not Amused

What do you do, SteveM?

deep breath.

That's what you think... Self-assessment is for life, bro.

Steady Mike, if I may call you that, say it ain't so!

(It worked though.)

Alternate ending:
(I went to prison.)

i also wish another editor wasn't so flaky, and that i didn't need the work so badly to tolerate it. i know the guy loves my stuff and that my position at the mag is under no threat, but the fact that i need them more than they need me is being spelt out so clearly here that its pretty dispiriting.

actually, if i had to take a proper job, i'd have to quit the two regular freelance jobs that guarantee i make rent every month.

nonsense man. you have obviously not learnt the benefit of describing, in graphic detail, episodes of made-up extreme bowel trauma to to your boss. works every time and they can't get off the phone quick enough, even when you sound like you're obviously in the terminal of jfk airport.

The U***t situation continues to be dispiriting and I think they've given up on me altogether - I've had no work from them for two months. I am aware that the ongoing music reviews editor vacancy problem is the probable reason for this, but having had to deal with three different music reviews editors on that mag so far this year - all with their own competing agendas - has proved wearisome. Or else they've recruited someone who doesn't like my writing.

If he could have gone the whole hog and put out a magazine with emoticons and no words altogether then it might have stood up as a White Cube 2 art thing.

Editor: [obviously comparing the original version to the original version, somehow] "Paul, I'm pretty disappointed that you would try to send a re-write that has one sentence changed."

Me: "Wait, what do you mean? It's completely rewritten."

Editor: [silence]

Hivemind only in the sense of badly focussed rage towards people who say things like:

'We don't have the budget for that'
'We can't pay you for another 30 days'
'We, your bank, are charging you £150 for missing five direct debits which are less than £10 EACH'

Stelfox, maybe they won't let you say battyrider cos you is white innit.

i wasn't being facetious about the proper job thing. it has its benefits when yr faced with all of these problems. and as much as i'm a miserable bastard most of the time you should have heard me when i didn't have this. i have very accommodating bosses who allow mw, within reason, to go away at the drop of a hat (and work for places i probably contractually shouldn't) coz i'm shit hot at my day job and work really hard, so it's really the best of both worlds for me

Actually, a couple of months ago I was up for managing ed of an art mag (not the one which does the art fair) and it was valuable to know that the publisher hadn't paid freelancers for six months. They then asked me to join them in another job, freelance, and fortunately I was able to tell them to swivel (though in that polite way that makes dumb men go 'wait, did she just tell me to swivel?')

I've only had one instance of a magazine going tits-up owing me money and it was an American art title.

-- stelfox (...), October 6th, 2004.

Well that's how the music monthlies work, isn't it, even the W**e. They want functional writing for readers who don't bother looking at anything except the star rating. As I have said many times on ILx before, no doubt we're close to a scenario where magazines will have done with words altogether and just print title, artist, track listing, star rating and optional emoticons. Our Readers, we are told, Don't Have Time For All This Arty-Farty Long Review (long meaning > 50 words) Stuff. They Have Busy Lives Trying To Get On Location, Location, Location! So why waste time constructing elegant syntactical curlicues and artful comparisons when (a) "not as good as the last one" will earn you the same money; and (b) all curlicues/artful comparisons will by rote be edited out of your review anyway, as well as, wherever editors espy it, the first person. Call centre criticism.

features-wise, i'd hope that wasn't the case. i certainly haven't seen this at Mojo.

(b) all curlicues/artful comparisons will by rote be edited out of your review anyway, as well as, wherever editors espy it, the first person.

again, i have experienced this, but it certainly isn't the rule at places i work now. NME had this approach, i wonder if they do now? K! has always encouraged a first-person approach, where this works, and have allowed me to write in-depth on the tangential elements of an artist's appeal, because they assume the readers will appreciate this. again, with Mojo, the one big piece I've written for them so far (Mars Volta) gave me free reign to write about *the music*, and the influence of free-jazz, salsa music and afrobeat on the band, in addition to The Story and The Scandal.

Marcello, if this is yr assumption of the entire industry, YOU ARE WRITING FOR THE WRONG PLACES! Life as a Freelancer isn't all being Not Amused, and it'd be wrong if we didn't aslute the places we enjoy writing for as well, because without them this 'job' wouldn't be worth a damn.

Frustrations for me now are more to do with there not being the space to cover everything I want to write about, in the depth I want (but Loose Lips cures most of these, as blogging does for many I guess), or money issues, than feeling creatively frustrated. I certainly feel happier and more confident about my work now, and that's 100% to do with easing myself out of unhealthy work situations and finding places that rewarded me better. Shit or get off the pot, but there are definitely working environments that will leave you with a good sense of well-being, professionally.

I've started doing some articles for submission to the broadsheets around here, I'm trying to avoid music, more feature style articles.

I guess since it's a while since I finished college I'm keen to just refresh on the basics of cold calling features editors. What are the golden rules here? As I say I'm sure this was drummed into me in college but I forget alot of it.

I mailed one of my completed articles to the features eds of 4 broadsheets here. I got two replies, one said "not appropriate for our paper, no real local angle, not enough real life stories", I sort of disagreed but didn't expect that paper to publish anyway, tho now I wonder if the fact that my story just can't really have a local angle will go against me, or is it just the paper in question.

The other reply said "I found this very interesting, can you tell a little more about your background, and show me some other samples of your work". So I did this, no response yet. But why would they want to know my background, is the article not the important thing?

I haven't recieved any reply from the other two. Not a bad start I thought though, at least things are happening, even two replies isn't bad and one of them was potentially positive.

But I'm just wondering about the best way to handle this kind of thing, is just coming up with ideas and churning out as many articles as I can, then sending them off, a viable route to success/money?

What about the days where you want to work but can't think of an idea and end up scouring the news sites?

I am really keen to make a go of this, I want to leave my current job, but I think it would be stupid until I have succeeded a little.

I know there are lots of good freelancers and smart people here, what do you think?

Maybe it's best to stick to Irish papers since they can be relied upon to not be very up to date on new and interesting things.

Is there any decent resource that gives info about who does what job in the papers, all in one place?

I've been just calling the newspapers and asking, which is fine, but it would be easier to just have a website or something.

just sending in the odd article here and there means you could end up being overlooked. pitching up with a stream of quality ideas and trying to cultivate some kind of relationship with commissioning editors is by far the best idea.

i know it's a truism, but don't give up or be disheartened. the best resource a freelance feature-writer can have is IDEAS.

x-post: er, two-step approach to success here involves 1) ringing up the paper in question and saying: "hello, what's the name and direct line of your features editor?" and 2) ringing them. rocket science, eh? o yeh: don't just rely on e-mail. always make a follow-up call.

perhaps a combination of the two approaches is best.

i'm going to try and keep in contact with the two eds who replied, particularly the one who asked for other examples of my work, and see how that goes.

need to zoom to work now. will look back in here later. but yes, all yr approaches here seem sound.

panic!

Well done, by the way.

I basically said in my email "yes I'm keen to make those changes and can do it for tomorrow at midday" then made my suggestions for what my idea of those changes was, he was quite general, so I said what I specifically planned to include and asked if this was what he wanted.

No reply, it was about an hour and a half ago, so I guess just keep going with my interpretation of what he asked for? Presuming he might not be rooted to the office seat on a Bank Holiday Monday.

http://technology.guardian.co.uk/

Next step: Ro does an invoice to GNL (and no you don't get extra £££s for the front page stuff). Should get btwn £225-£300.

I'm getting my first proper artwork for proper CD released soon. So far it's going pretty well but deadline is imminent and still loads of things to sort out. And I'm too scared to ask them how much they're going to pay me (or I'm going to have to pay them if it all goes tits up). Hoping it will lead to more tho.

/voice of bitter experience

At what point do you go "fuck it" and jettison an article? I spoke to my editor about it a month ago, had been working in my day job a lot, he said he thought it was a good idea and to give it a go, fairly non commital but he was interested.

Down the line I'm not sure it's actually going to work, but I really want to do it and deliver on the idea I had. Am I stupid for thinking it might look bad to just hit him with my other ideas now, which I do think are better. I just bit off a bit more than I could chew with idea 1, and now find myself unable to say what the piece is really about. I probably could finish a 1000 word draft of it but my gut feeling is that it's not really good enough.

So the boss has been falling a little farther behind in paying me with each issue. She's paying me now for work done in March/April. I think it's time for The Talk.

good luck with The Talk, WmC.

one of my main clients has changed the schedule on me five times in the last two weeks. but I've put up with it because I'm terrified of not being able to pay the bills this month (and also because I'm a spineless weasel).

freelancing is terrifying. nice knowing I'm not helping my creepy old racist boss at my last job buy another Lamborghini, though.

She got caught up in a big way without having to have The Talk! Paid me for the most recent issue months ahead of expectation.

Freelancers and small business owners who have business credit cards, or anybody who has a credit card that they actually like, I need recommendations: my business card is going to expire in May, and since I declined their most recent Change in Terms (a hike from 9.9% to 20+ on purchases), I expect they'll cancel the card. I think I want to get a card that has a points/miles/rewards program. Anybody have any recommendations?

No recommendations?

(doh! more appropriate to post here)

I fired a client today! There's so much weight off my shoulders, I actually am floating in space

The client is really good at timing paychecks to arrive on Fridays before Monday holidays, knowing that it'll be Tuesday before I can get to the bank.

Advertiser, who knows the price for a full page full color ad, asks "what's the price for a full page B&W ad if only the photos are in color?"

double, for having to mix black and white and color in the same ad

good answer

I've been working for the same client for 17 years now and thought I couldn't be surprised by anything in this particular industry, but today I'm mindboggled by a feed supplement for show cattle called "Fresh & Feminine."

Getting a dozen photos through email but rather than attaching them all to the same mail, each photo has been sent through it's own individual email. I noted in the future to try using zip or multiple attachments.

Also every time I get sent something, I get an email and then a few hours later I get a text and then a I get a phone call all asking if I got the email. Yes I got it. It didn't get lost in the mail.

I don't envy the life of the livestock show photographer. They sell a web-resolution image one time and suddenly everybody has it, including people who haven't paid for it and people who want to use it for print even though it's not big enough. Still puts me in a tough spot between the photographer and the advertiser.

Can we talk about the Paycheck Protection Program? I got email from my bank this morning that included this:

On Tuesday, March 31, 2020, the Treasury Department issued much-anticipated guidance for the Paycheck Protection Program, which starting this week will provide up to $350 billion in fully forgivable loans to help small businesses maintain payrolls during the coronavirus pandemic.

Small businesses and sole proprietorships—generally, those with 500 or fewer employees—may apply for PPP loans with their bank starting on Friday, April 3; independent contractors and self-employed workers can apply starting April 10. PPP loans will be fully forgiven when used for payroll costs, interest on mortgages, rent and utilities, with at least three quarters of the forgiven amount being used for payroll; forgiveness is based on employers maintaining headcount or quickly rehiring and maintaining salary levels.

The phrase "fully forgivable loan" is throwing me. If I wind up qualifying and use the money under their constraints, does that mean it becomes just a free-money grant? I think I read on the Treasury website that I'd have to apply for loan forgiveness and that it's not automatic. But still, this sounds like a lifeline for me (independent contractor).

moving from the 'working from home' thread

I've worked from home for almost 19 years. I expect it to all come crashing down around my ears any day now.

― Miami weisse (WmC), Thursday, March 12, 2020 8:14 AM (two years ago)

lol it kinda did. My client held on through the end of '21 before shuttering, and I billed another client $310 in '22. My tax guy says I can claim to be self employed and claim a loss for four years before I have to start calling myself a bartender instead of a graphic designer and quit claiming internet/phone/WFMU donations as business expenses.