this is the horny commiseration thread

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I wonder why?

Lack of sleep never makes a difference for me.

luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:35 (eighteen years ago) link

the head of the sub-library where i work is keen to get anything relating to downtown nyc in our dept. (even moreso if they happen to be gay/lesbian materials), so i'm processing the first fifteen or so years of the mix festival's videos/paper files. and naturally, in the zillions of press clippings and photo stills therein, there's a whoooooole lotta ribaldry goin' on, so i really can't NOT think of sex when i'm working.

joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Joseph, did I mention I was bi?

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

i believe you did

joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh dear.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:27 (eighteen years ago) link

I have become a caricature, haven't I?

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:27 (eighteen years ago) link

YAYYY ILX!

(i think i come across as more of a caricature on these boards than you do anyway) (or so i think)

joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

(I've got you both beat)

luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Which library do you work at, Joseph?

Mary (Mary), Saturday, 20 August 2005 00:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Gee, ILx is horny . . .I miss so much while I'm away.

Miss Misery (thatgirl), Saturday, 20 August 2005 01:49 (eighteen years ago) link

mary - i work at b0bst, actually! (and within b0bst, the fa1es library)

joseph (joseph), Saturday, 20 August 2005 05:56 (eighteen years ago) link

ps i'm drunk so COMMISERATION NOWWWWWWWWWW

joseph (joseph), Saturday, 20 August 2005 06:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Le horn. Le sigh.

Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 20 August 2005 12:58 (eighteen years ago) link

Le sbian ménage à trois?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 20 August 2005 13:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Joseph--oh cool! I did my MA at NYU and studied once at Fales--but I felt like I had to treat the book they gave with kid gloves! That's sounds like a cool project they have you working on.

Mary (Mary), Saturday, 20 August 2005 15:43 (eighteen years ago) link

!!

luna (luna.c), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:36 (eighteen years ago) link

??

jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Man, more of the same last night :/

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:17 (eighteen years ago) link

> oh, wait, it is a speedometer

it says rpms x 10 (possibly x100) which isn't strictly a speedometer, more like angular velocity. um, sexual perfomance measured in rpm? curious. sounds like that film i once saw...

koogs (koogs), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:20 (eighteen years ago) link

(Inches of boner per hour)x10

Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:30 (eighteen years ago) link

"Sex behavior was, for all practical purposes, destroyed; sexual posturing was commonly stereotyped and infantile. Frequently when an isolate [surrogate-raised] female was approached by a normal male, she would sit unmoved, squatting upon the floor -- a posture in which only her heart was in the right place. Contrariwise, an isolate male might approach an in-estrus female, but he might clasp the head instead of the hind legs, and then engage in pelvic thrusts. Other isolate males grasped the female's body laterally, whereby all sexual efforts left them working at cross purposes with reality."

joseph pot (STINKOR™), Sunday, 21 August 2005 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

hornee still

even still ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Sunday, 21 August 2005 02:05 (eighteen years ago) link

me too, sweetpants

luna (luna.c), Sunday, 21 August 2005 04:22 (eighteen years ago) link

oh.

jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 21 August 2005 06:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Honk the horn.

Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 00:26 (eighteen years ago) link

toot toot.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 22 August 2005 06:31 (eighteen years ago) link

No kiddin.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 August 2005 07:10 (eighteen years ago) link

That's what wanks are for.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 07:11 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm trying to remember if I used to randomly shoehorn comments about sex into conversations/threads when I *was* actually getting laid.

But then again, I suspect I did, so it's not just a function of the horn. I hope.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 10:42 (eighteen years ago) link

(That said, last night I was sitting around after the gig and three different people at the table (including myself) were complaining about their lack of sex, and about how all our blogs had just become monologues whinging about not getting any sex. See, this is the problem, that when you start blogging, you automatically become emo. Because in the old days, when I did Have Sex, I probably would have just suggested that we go off and have a threesome or something and kill three birds with one stone. But no, I just wrote about it on the interweb instead.)

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 10:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Oops, I did it again.

Is there anything or any topic that I cannot figure out how to make into some kind of horn-inducing situation?

(Please do not feel the need to test that theory.)

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 11:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Well, it's okay for this thread.

I had a sex dream about a friend of mine who's nine years my senior. It was scandalous.

Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 12:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Argh Kate I may only have met you a couple of times and no doubt I... erm, rubbed you up the wrong way, but... I cannot believe you've got trouble finding someone, how you say, hott enough to play with. Maybe you're not looking for playmates in the right places at the moment?

Playing is easy... or perhaps that should be, soft. Love is hard... or perhaps that should be, hell.

Ah, Kitchens Of Distinction *sigh*

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 13:51 (eighteen years ago) link

You didn't rub me up the wrong way - I was just tired and cranky and not really in the mood for being out in public the first time we met. Don't worry about it - I actually wanted to apologise for being so bad-tempered. (Emsk is used to it so no longer takes it personally.)

I think the problem is that I don't really know *what* I want. Being an Old Lady, I think I should want to Be In A Proper Relationship and I just can't be hassled with the whole casual thing. But on the other hand, I'm too burned out to be in a relationship and even the idea just gives me a vague feeling of dis-ease in the pit of my stomach like I'm going to do a sick.

But on the other hand... boys with pointy noses and bushy sideburns. Sigh.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 13:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Actually, you know what? Sometimes I'm not even sure if I want sex at all. I just want to whinge about not getting sex.

(9 times out of 10 wanking is actually more satisfying physically than casual sex anyway. It's just when you want to be, you know, naked and holding someone.)

Anyway, I will shut up now because I'm boring myself.

Captain Anderson, la la la la la la laaaa.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 13:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes. Never mind the orgasms; not being able to kiss and cuddle in bed is the worst part of being single.

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:01 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm trying to figure out whether or not I have a crush on a friend that a mutual friend keeps trying to convince me I should hook up with.

I'm not sure if I do have a crush, and I'm trying to talk myself out of it, or if I don't have a crush and I'm trying to talk myself into it. If I'm feeling that ambivalent about the whole thing, it's probably not a good idea anyway.

(Of course, knowing him and knowing me, we'd never get around to actually having sex, and just sit around all night talking about theoretical physics and playing with each others' effects pedals.)

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Shoot me.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:05 (eighteen years ago) link

"effects pedals" would actually be a rather good euphemism for genitalia. They make you make funny noises, after all.

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:06 (eighteen years ago) link

I knew you would say that.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:07 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm nothing if not predictable

(I could even have logged out and you'd still have known I was going to say it)

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:08 (eighteen years ago) link

I was just tired and cranky

OK. You have no idea what my fevered brain made of it at the time... well, actually you probably do. I owe you an apology too... but let's draw a veil over that if we can.

Never mind the orgasms

...we're the tantric pistols. I've gotten quite interested in the idea that we have a chemical hangover from orgasms. Apparently it takes a couple of weeks to really kick in...

I'm trying to figure out whether or not I have a crush

Having a crush on someone's a pretty crap reason to actually try to get with them anyway, innit? I mean, it's gonna wear off...

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 15:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I've gotten quite interested in the idea that we have a chemical hangover from orgasms.

I dunno about that, but Oxytocin is definitely addictive. I mean, that's the whole point of it! And why you feel so crap when you break up with someone/stop having sex.

Having a crush on someone's a pretty crap reason to actually try to get with them anyway, innit?

What other reason *is* there to get with someone? Sure, you should have stuff in common with them, and enjoy their company and all that. But if you don't have a crush on them, why bother getting with them? Why not just be their friend?

(I think if I have to give it this much thought, I probably don't have a crush on this person. Or perhaps I'm still just mangled.)

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Actually, that said, if I were to have casual sex with someone, it would probably be better if I *didn't* have a crush on them.

I mean, how do you go about *doing* that? How do you kind of approach a friend and say "hey, would you mind terribly if we had casual sex? I think it might be a good idea for both of us."

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:15 (eighteen years ago) link

No, this is a terrible idea and can only lead to badness.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:24 (eighteen years ago) link

That's what wanks are for.

In good times
And bad times
I will rub one out because I'm bored
That's what wanks are for

The Ghost of Dionne Warwick (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes, I will now go home and rifle my room for fan fiction, Barbara Cartland's Love At The Helm, old issues of Country Life and any other wank-fantasy-material I can lay my hands on. Hurrah! That's that sorted, then.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:29 (eighteen years ago) link

What other reason *is* there to get with someone?

I kinda agree... and I kinda don't. Like, if you've got a crush and it's serious, you're basically temporarily mad, so you've gotta do something about it. But whatever that is, it's generally idiotic. This is all in the wrong thread...

I also think chemical responses ain't any path to real happiness.

angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 15:32 (eighteen years ago) link

What *is* happiness but a chemical response, really?

Honestly... I know I'm coked to the gills on SSRIs lately, but really.

I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:34 (eighteen years ago) link


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