damn, what a deal! I've found a new place to live, I think

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all I need is a wig:

$200 / 1br - Cheap Rent for Cute Girl Who'll Snuggle

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Reply to: anon-40574199@cr@igslist.org
Date: 2004-08-26, 11:14AM PDT

Wouldn't it be nice if you found a quality guy to live with who is really down to earth, employed and fun to hang with? I'll keep this post short but basicall..., I do not have time to find a girl friend. This may be a strange way to go about it...

However, I am incredibly sincere and really would like to live with a nice, attractive girl who's equally down to earth, fun and trustworthy.

Also we'd HAVE to like each other very much because we're going to wind up sleeping in the same bed!... as odd as this sounds it really might work if we are compatible. I look forward to hearing from you.

And if you have a photo, that will definitely expedite matters.... not that looks are really that important, personality definitely is.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:02 (nineteen years ago) link

He still expects the chick who'll become his indentured loveslave to pay $200 a month? What a cheapass.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:07 (nineteen years ago) link

It's nice to know there are still dreamers out there.

― Huck, Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:09 (nineteen years ago) link

"I am incredibly sincere"

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Leon, the poster is a practical man who is covering his bases. And you complain because he shows enterprise!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:31 (nineteen years ago) link

"I am incredibly sincere in being too cheap to pay for sex."

― Huck, Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:33 (nineteen years ago) link

"baby if you give me $200 a month you can stay over at my place and have sex with me, I am that sincere"

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:34 (nineteen years ago) link

as odd as this sounds it really might work if
we are compatible

and if your check clears.

― Huck, Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Nice how he describes himself as a "quality guy."

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:36 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm sure he has the factory inspection stamp to prove it, even.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:37 (nineteen years ago) link

"if you have a photo, that will definitely expedite matters.... not that looks are really that important"

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:37 (nineteen years ago) link

"Also we'd HAVE to like each other very much because we're going to wind up sleeping in the same bed!... as odd as this sounds it really might work ~~if you are gullible enough to give me money~~ if we are compatible."

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:40 (nineteen years ago) link

"If your parents have a few goats to spare, maybe we can get married."

― Huck, Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:41 (nineteen years ago) link

The part that he leaves out is that he's 45 and the bedroom that's for rent is located in his parents' house.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I think you're really idealizing this guy, Jeanne

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:42 (nineteen years ago) link

Is the Snuggle bear female? Because I bet she makes enough money on those ads.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:42 (nineteen years ago) link

i wonder what kind of security deposit he asks for.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:43 (nineteen years ago) link

idealizing or idolizing?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:43 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.jsonline.com/enter/sw/images/jabba.jpg

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:43 (nineteen years ago) link

The secret is the guy actually thinks he's C3PO.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:44 (nineteen years ago) link

"down to earth, employed and fun to hang with" = slouchy ebay merchant who gets a lot of laughs in the chatroom

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/patc/twilightzone/time.jpg

"No time to find a girlfriend! If only there were enough time..."

― andy, Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

(xpost) Clearly the guy thinks he's Leia!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't see him posting anywhere about his hot buns.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Ned, You're on a roll!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:47 (nineteen years ago) link

oh man.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:48 (nineteen years ago) link

But he's all sensitive and shit. (See the way he tenderly asks for a photo so that he can make sure he doesn't end up with ~~a one-eyed woofmonster~~ someone incompatible)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:48 (nineteen years ago) link

I TELL YOU AGAIN, the man shows enterprise and clear thinking. He has an objective and is carrying it out.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:49 (nineteen years ago) link

(Besides, how else do you cast snuff films?)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Ned, is this your way of saying that you're the one who placed the ad?

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Nonsense. I'm answering it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

please do, and send this photo:

http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Aug/20048266564489385633490.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Ah, but that would be false advertising.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:55 (nineteen years ago) link

That is one beaut of a photoshoppage.

― Huck, Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Sean did that one, right? He does have the knack, but Chris rivals him.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 18:57 (nineteen years ago) link

It makes you look like a perky butch lesbian.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"Hello Nedina and thank you for your response. You're a little butch for my tastes but you write beautifully so I'll overlook that ;) I have enclosed a pic of myself which I took just now with my brand new (and very expensive) digital camera. I live in Glendale. Write back soon, baby!"
http://www.uaf.edu/journal/extreme/Patriot/images/don.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:06 (nineteen years ago) link

It makes you look like a perky butch lesbian.

MY JOURNEY IS COMPLETE.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:08 (nineteen years ago) link

"Don't you want a Freak Like Me, baby? C'mon, be my Tubeway Army. Holla back, Nedina Howard."

"PS I'll come round and shake what my mama gave me in your face as an incentive."

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:10 (nineteen years ago) link

I just keep laughing at the word 'expedite', for some reason.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Wouldn't it be nice if...

OH NO, THE ASSHOLE IS A BEACH BOYS FAN, TOO! DANGER DANGER!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:11 (nineteen years ago) link

"Wouldn't it be nice if you met a guy who would allow you to fuck him if you paid him $200 a month?"

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:13 (nineteen years ago) link

"...and there was beer?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:14 (nineteen years ago) link

KEYSTONE BEER!!!!!!!!

― FLASHBACKS (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Hahah, I knew somebody would remember.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:18 (nineteen years ago) link

the twilight zone reference just broke me in half

― kephm, Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Gazing at the Bay - 53 (berkeley)
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Reply to: anon-40022709@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-08-20, 10:25PM PDT

and beyond
the Golden Gate

Feeling the wind
and seeing it
in the trees

Sensing the messaging
from afar
to the branches and leaves
down the slender swaying bodies
into the tendrils
that mingle with mater

A communication far richer
than our puny wires
and wirelesses
let alone words

The trees use their whole bodies
Nay, not use - commune wholeselfly
with other forms
that we
Airheads
Children of an ancient organism we call
Earth
call wind, clouds, earth, sky, rocks, islands
continents, rivers, cities, Autobahnen

The cats
try their best to translate

With all their patience
how little sinks in

Are arrogant airheads
able to grasp
our connection with everything?

Can the glimmering of a few
mend the madness of multitudes
and their own madness?

Can those who see
who feel
who glimpse
send out pulses
to purge the poisons
of our intelligence
our civilization
our isolation
from everything
in our drive
to control
to dominate?

Maybe music
Resonating rays
And dance
The swaying of our slender
and not so slender bodies
Perhaps perchance
movement with the energy
of our self
our home
our body
Gaia
Can awaken us
Can awaken our hearts
to who we are
and where we are

Starting with one connection
with one cluster
is small
but may be all
any one can do

It's *not* OK to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

― Gaia, Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:35 (nineteen years ago) link

is tha the b-side to "American Life"?

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:37 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG Gear!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Featuring Polly Harvey and the Dixie Chicks.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Thursday, 26 August 2004 19:43 (nineteen years ago) link

this thread's the best ile roffle for months. ned's got his mojo back.

― paulhw (paulhw), Friday, 27 August 2004 03:47 (nineteen years ago) link

someone graft ned's head onto chuck norris's shirtless torso via photoshop pls thx

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Friday, 27 August 2004 03:50 (nineteen years ago) link

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