the Artie Lange appreciation thread

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BlSVo1cCYAEHruQ.jpg

Oh shit. What happened?

Diabetic shock whilst on tour apparently.

hmm

He's so lost, wish he was a happier dude.

back on the show after two weeks (one scheduled vacation week): "i don't have wake up calls, i tell people i've had wake up calls... but this time it's different, this is a real wake up call."

two days into the return, he's done.

What's the story now?

Yeah did he announce something on the show?

not really.
direct tv wants out of the deal, a few months before the deal actually expires.
he's got another deal in the works, noting that his new project would allow him to swear again, advised a caller that sometimes makes prank calls to stockpile new calls.

going to sirius, i guess

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3RefUD9PlY

"if i was a winner, i'd be home right now with a wife and a couple of kids, who were going into college, and i'd be fuckin buying them a car or something. i'm forty seven years old. i'm still in hotels, doing clubs. i'm doing radio interviews with guys i pretend to know. these guys on the radio are like, 'HEY GUESS WHAT ARTIE LANGE'S COMING UP. ARTIE LANGE'S HERE. HEY, ARTIE, DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS ONCE ON COCAINE? TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. WE LOVE YA. YEAH, HE TOLD THAT STORY ONCE...' on a radio show that doesn't exist anymore. and uh... you know, radio doesn't exist anymore. radio doesn't exist anymore. that's how big howard was. ... it's over. and if i wasn't a heroin addict that spent all my money on drugs, i wouldn't have to do this shit. but here i am, begging you to subscribe to some podcast. who the fuck even knows what this is?"

lol

i dvrd artie live at gotham he told a outraged at justin bieber on the cover a the rolling stone w/ hot ready & legal descriptors into a jerry sandusky joke and i deleted the show immed

goddamn, the recent episodes. relapsed in a dark room at the marriott pittsburgh renaissance, back on the show with his voice shredded, his submissive producer giggling at a half hour long nixon impression. his mother calls and he picks up, she seems surprised to learn that he's still doing his show and asks if he's gone to the doctor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cjh9SaSGso&feature=youtu.be&t=4m58s

baby gorilla talking about his new show

trying again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cjh9SaSGso&feature=youtu.be&t=4m58s

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/video/category/interviews/3543744-22-minutes-with-artie-lange/

http://i.imgur.com/nppRznk.jpg

"I make out with Gina Gershon"

http://i.imgur.com/7yhFUg2.jpg

"Oh"

"bob levy is basically jeffrey dahmer, if he read a joke book. and, you know, that sounds a little harsh but i love the guy. and, uh, he gets out there on the internet and stalks these women and throws out this web of... deceit and sleaziness and hair dye and bad coke, whiskey beer breath, and cheap fuckin target shirts and coupons for sizzlers two-for-one steak on a wednesday, forty thousand dollar house just outside of philly, which somehow has a built-in pool [gary: it came with the house], have no idea what the fuck that looks like... uhhhh... his poor child who's being raised by a father who's just not there and a mother who hates being with the father... the father's in the basement, it's damp, clearly doesn't have the proper heat or air conditioning, somehow he gets over to this disgusting, jizz-drenched, stinky, whiskey-sodden computer board and types out, 'who's out there? who's out there in fuckin virgin creep land that i can try to fuck with my web of grossness?' and eventually he gets some takers, some poor women who have a background that's clearly, uh... troubling... this girl has father issues, her father is some mad irish drunk and uh [gary: we don't know that] she has dyed black hair...."

― dylannn, Monday, May 20, 2013 2:11 PM (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Artie is good on "Crashing" the new HBO show

"Baskin Robbins called. They said they're down to only 5 flavors. "

Hey I got a quick message for u Ang. U ain’t the man. U run for the man. I fear nothing. pic.twitter.com/Sdn4BgSQzz

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) December 9, 2017

Thread bump made me nervous

that is really sad

same.

apart from his nose being fucked, he looks healthier these days + has a regular job that he sometimes shows up to that gets him out of the house.

What happened to his nose?

snorting cocaine or heroin, or he claims it's from snorting broken glass that was in his cocaine. it's been like that for a few months.
it would appear that he's been punched in the face a few times, too, judging by his fat lip and the bruise on his cheek, and the veiled threats against a bookie or drug dealer's runner.

"if i was a winner, i'd be home right now with a wife and a couple of kids, who were going into college, and i'd be fuckin buying them a car or something. i'm forty seven years old. i'm still in hotels, doing clubs. i'm doing radio interviews with guys i pretend to know. these guys on the radio are like, 'HEY GUESS WHAT ARTIE LANGE'S COMING UP. ARTIE LANGE'S HERE. HEY, ARTIE, DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS ONCE ON COCAINE? TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. WE LOVE YA. YEAH, HE TOLD THAT STORY ONCE...' on a radio show that doesn't exist anymore. and uh... you know, radio doesn't exist anymore. radio doesn't exist anymore. that's how big howard was. ... it's over. and if i wasn't a heroin addict that spent all my money on drugs, i wouldn't have to do this shit. but here i am, begging you to subscribe to some podcast. who the fuck even knows what this is?"

― dylannn, Wednesday, April 1, 2015 7:47 AM (two years ago)

lol

he had a heart infection and almost died a few months ago. this was after the arrest for possession. he must've moved onto to shooting up a while ago

true rock n roll coke in his jack daniels.
but for real he seems to be clean these days and is just in very poor health (in his fifties, diabetic, former alcoholic, overweight, ruined face).

http://i.redd.it/ack1orvozba01.png

this guy's having a tough time.

What's happening?

i can't keep track. he went to rehab instead of getting sentenced for possession, i think, but i guess he actually got hospitalized and went to a local rehab for a few days. and he's now re-emerged with half of his hair missing which he says was the result of being dragged by his hair while in jail... because corrupt jail guards beat him with a lead pipe and he had to cut his hair off to escape being dragged around... and he's wearing gloves because of diabetes. he's having a tough time, whatever is going on.

what the fuck are those gloves?

those are diabetes gloves?

You know you’re in some deep shit when you look like that and it’s the best you’ve looked in months

It looked like his nose expanded greatly between the first two episodes of Crashing.

i'm not hopeful.

he snorted glass... it fucked up his nose

I don't buy that story. also that was over 2 years ago. the heart infection is pretty telling imo, I think he's moved on to shooting up. it's really sad

Rolling Artie Lange’s Having A Tough Time

Every time this thread is bumped I expect it to be a RIP.

pretty long & in depth interview up today: Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: ‘Fuck ’Em All’

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. I’d do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I don’t know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. I’ve never ODed. I’ve had dealers say, “Jesus Christ. What the fuck.” But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean... you must want to die.

Artie: No, I don’t want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: I’m 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up “2018,” it would be like The Jetsons. I’d be like, “What are you talking about?”

Mandy: So you’re having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: I’m playing with the house’s money. As far as I’m concerned, I’m an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck ’em all.

Mandy: But I mean... your mom and your sister. They’re the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the house’s money, right?

Artie: Yes that’s the... that’s the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I don’t think she thought you were going to make it.

Artie: Yeah, you know, my father left us with nothing. I love my dad. He was my best friend. But my father was a criminal. My dad was an impulsive guy, and that’s what killed him. Just like my father, with me, there are real high highs and real low lows. Like my mother saw me at Carnegie Hall, when my book went to No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list, and I think Obama’s was like No. 7. She has that framed. But then she’s also seen me withdrawing in jail.

god fucking dammit

Artie: No, I don’t talk to Howard. We hate each other’s guts. He can’t stand me for some reason, and I’ve learned to hate him.

Thanks for The link flappy

I’m in the hospital. Just got hold of a phone. Congrats Philly. The 2 best Cities for me could be Boston & Philadelphia. Pats got a bunch a rings. The loyal ppl in Brotherly Love Town. Enjoy. Don’t fuckin Kill anybody. Plus only 7 minutes til Crashing!

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) February 5, 2018

https://youtu.be/k7-DP-FYWqI

rehab again, levy going too

god bless ye baby gorilla

https://i.imgur.com/r1TLs2L.jpg