the Artie Lange appreciation thread

the bro fight was so entertaining because it was a great example of when staff break through the sycophantic bubble around Howard. Fred and Robin would never do something like that now, they're too dependent on Howard's good graces for their retirement funds.

which makes the show less interesting

robin is such an important part of the show and i'll always defend her when criticisms beyond "she's a cunt" or "she just parrots what howard says" come up. but man oh man the way she treated artie during the bro fight and during that time period was greasy. despite howard claiming to have teared up during the argument, artie was hitting him with hard reality and he could only retreat behind "yeah, it was a bit but hey, i thought you might really like her."

as much as sadsack artie means to me, i've always liked him getting out the poison in venemous sprees of ballbusting. i find it easier to say i like it when he goes up against worthy targets, who can hit back in some way, even if they're hacks like levy or sal or dice. but it's still enjoyable to see him unleashing on guys like high pitch mike.

You can really hear Howard reaching to make a memorable bit out of the whole sitch, constantly returning to 'how dare you call me a jerk, no more hookups for you' which is of course fine by Artie, I had a look on YouTube and was kinda shocked at the state of him (Artie), that must have been when he was at his largest, he's like a big somnambulant balloon. is this The Stern Show at it's ugliest?

when i go back to a lot of the artie incidents, i have a lot less sympathy for the key players. when he offers subutex to the homeless kid, the way that howard and robin alternate between sympathy and relentlessly dragging the story out of him-- maybe it's because i know what came next, the facts behind his fucked up life at the time have come out, and he later talked about his discomfort with the reaction, for example, the series of "artie's on heroin" songs that came out immediately after... it's an uncomfortable experience to revisit those episodes.

I have a feeling that when it's all over there might be a torrent of embittered books and articles from the key players, and probably the periphery.

artie loves pancakes
he eats them up with chocolate cakes
he's gaining so much goddamned weight
cause artie loves pancakes

http://youtu.be/w21T5eLN1T8

The new WTF podcast with Maron is excellent. This man has some stories.

Someone on SFN said they were the same old stories

http://blogs.wsj.com/dailyfix/2014/03/23/kentucky-derby-watch-chitu-we-miss-artie-emerge-as-contenders/

now I have a horse to bet on

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BlSVo1cCYAEHruQ.jpg

Oh shit. What happened?

Diabetic shock whilst on tour apparently.

hmm

He's so lost, wish he was a happier dude.

back on the show after two weeks (one scheduled vacation week): "i don't have wake up calls, i tell people i've had wake up calls... but this time it's different, this is a real wake up call."

two days into the return, he's done.

What's the story now?

Yeah did he announce something on the show?

not really.
direct tv wants out of the deal, a few months before the deal actually expires.
he's got another deal in the works, noting that his new project would allow him to swear again, advised a caller that sometimes makes prank calls to stockpile new calls.

going to sirius, i guess

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3RefUD9PlY

"if i was a winner, i'd be home right now with a wife and a couple of kids, who were going into college, and i'd be fuckin buying them a car or something. i'm forty seven years old. i'm still in hotels, doing clubs. i'm doing radio interviews with guys i pretend to know. these guys on the radio are like, 'HEY GUESS WHAT ARTIE LANGE'S COMING UP. ARTIE LANGE'S HERE. HEY, ARTIE, DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS ONCE ON COCAINE? TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. WE LOVE YA. YEAH, HE TOLD THAT STORY ONCE...' on a radio show that doesn't exist anymore. and uh... you know, radio doesn't exist anymore. radio doesn't exist anymore. that's how big howard was. ... it's over. and if i wasn't a heroin addict that spent all my money on drugs, i wouldn't have to do this shit. but here i am, begging you to subscribe to some podcast. who the fuck even knows what this is?"

lol

i dvrd artie live at gotham he told a outraged at justin bieber on the cover a the rolling stone w/ hot ready & legal descriptors into a jerry sandusky joke and i deleted the show immed

goddamn, the recent episodes. relapsed in a dark room at the marriott pittsburgh renaissance, back on the show with his voice shredded, his submissive producer giggling at a half hour long nixon impression. his mother calls and he picks up, she seems surprised to learn that he's still doing his show and asks if he's gone to the doctor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cjh9SaSGso&feature=youtu.be&t=4m58s

baby gorilla talking about his new show

trying again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cjh9SaSGso&feature=youtu.be&t=4m58s

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/video/category/interviews/3543744-22-minutes-with-artie-lange/

http://i.imgur.com/nppRznk.jpg

"I make out with Gina Gershon"

http://i.imgur.com/7yhFUg2.jpg

"Oh"

"bob levy is basically jeffrey dahmer, if he read a joke book. and, you know, that sounds a little harsh but i love the guy. and, uh, he gets out there on the internet and stalks these women and throws out this web of... deceit and sleaziness and hair dye and bad coke, whiskey beer breath, and cheap fuckin target shirts and coupons for sizzlers two-for-one steak on a wednesday, forty thousand dollar house just outside of philly, which somehow has a built-in pool [gary: it came with the house], have no idea what the fuck that looks like... uhhhh... his poor child who's being raised by a father who's just not there and a mother who hates being with the father... the father's in the basement, it's damp, clearly doesn't have the proper heat or air conditioning, somehow he gets over to this disgusting, jizz-drenched, stinky, whiskey-sodden computer board and types out, 'who's out there? who's out there in fuckin virgin creep land that i can try to fuck with my web of grossness?' and eventually he gets some takers, some poor women who have a background that's clearly, uh... troubling... this girl has father issues, her father is some mad irish drunk and uh [gary: we don't know that] she has dyed black hair...."

― dylannn, Monday, May 20, 2013 2:11 PM (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Artie is good on "Crashing" the new HBO show

"Baskin Robbins called. They said they're down to only 5 flavors. "

Hey I got a quick message for u Ang. U ain’t the man. U run for the man. I fear nothing. pic.twitter.com/Sdn4BgSQzz

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) December 9, 2017

Thread bump made me nervous

that is really sad

same.

apart from his nose being fucked, he looks healthier these days + has a regular job that he sometimes shows up to that gets him out of the house.

What happened to his nose?

snorting cocaine or heroin, or he claims it's from snorting broken glass that was in his cocaine. it's been like that for a few months.
it would appear that he's been punched in the face a few times, too, judging by his fat lip and the bruise on his cheek, and the veiled threats against a bookie or drug dealer's runner.

"if i was a winner, i'd be home right now with a wife and a couple of kids, who were going into college, and i'd be fuckin buying them a car or something. i'm forty seven years old. i'm still in hotels, doing clubs. i'm doing radio interviews with guys i pretend to know. these guys on the radio are like, 'HEY GUESS WHAT ARTIE LANGE'S COMING UP. ARTIE LANGE'S HERE. HEY, ARTIE, DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS ONCE ON COCAINE? TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. WE LOVE YA. YEAH, HE TOLD THAT STORY ONCE...' on a radio show that doesn't exist anymore. and uh... you know, radio doesn't exist anymore. radio doesn't exist anymore. that's how big howard was. ... it's over. and if i wasn't a heroin addict that spent all my money on drugs, i wouldn't have to do this shit. but here i am, begging you to subscribe to some podcast. who the fuck even knows what this is?"

― dylannn, Wednesday, April 1, 2015 7:47 AM (two years ago)

lol

he had a heart infection and almost died a few months ago. this was after the arrest for possession. he must've moved onto to shooting up a while ago

true rock n roll coke in his jack daniels.
but for real he seems to be clean these days and is just in very poor health (in his fifties, diabetic, former alcoholic, overweight, ruined face).

http://i.redd.it/ack1orvozba01.png

this guy's having a tough time.

What's happening?

i can't keep track. he went to rehab instead of getting sentenced for possession, i think, but i guess he actually got hospitalized and went to a local rehab for a few days. and he's now re-emerged with half of his hair missing which he says was the result of being dragged by his hair while in jail... because corrupt jail guards beat him with a lead pipe and he had to cut his hair off to escape being dragged around... and he's wearing gloves because of diabetes. he's having a tough time, whatever is going on.

what the fuck are those gloves?

those are diabetes gloves?