There's a guy in my office wearing a Jean-Luc Picard Tie. What action should I take?

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It's not out of character either.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:37 (nineteen years ago) link

set phasers to stun, obv.

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Seems like it could easily function as a noose.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:41 (nineteen years ago) link

KILL.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:41 (nineteen years ago) link

PLAY THIS LOUDLY:

http://hjem.wanadoo.dk/~wan13237/darkmateria_the_picard_song.mp3

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:41 (nineteen years ago) link

when my mam used to work in the housing department of the local council they had a tennant called jean-luc picard.

he had changed his name by deed poll...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:42 (nineteen years ago) link

Retaliate by wearing a Jean-Luc Godard tie.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Try to trick him into saying "engage" as often as possible.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Or "number two."

― eat fudge banana swirl (Nick A.), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Or "Make it so."

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Every time you ask him to do something, tell him to 'make it so'.
doh, xpost

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:45 (nineteen years ago) link

tomorrow wear a BORG tie.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I saw him in the kitchen just now. In an ideal world he would have said, "you have the fridge number one."

Borg tie! Get in.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Make the "Dark Vader" breath sound everytime he passes until he gets uptight with you.

― sexyDancer, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Sing him the "Mr Worf" song from Takeover TV.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Knife him in the fucking throat

Turn it into a Columbian Jeal-Luc Picard Necktie

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:53 (nineteen years ago) link

i think it's sweet, boyish. leave him alone.

― dave amos, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Get into a pointless and rambling argument about whether Captain Jean-Luc Picard or Captain Kirk made for a better tie.

― yossarian, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:00 (nineteen years ago) link

He has a German work experience student in his team and she is the prettiest thing. Tis no fair.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:01 (nineteen years ago) link

well don't worry, it's not like he's gonna get a shag with that tie.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Hum the Enterprise theme song loudly, and it will drive him away. Admittedly, it will drive everyone else away too, and you will want to kill yourself.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:01 (nineteen years ago) link

who the fick knows the ENTERPRISE theme?!?!?!

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Is it a tie with Jean-Luc Picard ON it, or one that Jean-Luc Picard might wear??

Sorry, never seen New Stark Trek.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:06 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost: Isn't it kinda "nooWEE na-na-na-na-nah DUH nooWEE na-na-na-na-nah"?

― sexyDancer, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:08 (nineteen years ago) link

It has a big picture of the esteemed Enterprise captain high up near the knot. This guy has man breasts too btw. I know, you guessed already.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:10 (nineteen years ago) link

who the fick knows the ENTERPRISE theme?!?!?!

I know people who do, and I pity them.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:11 (nineteen years ago) link

This guy has man breasts too btw. I know, you guessed already

Then, the answer to your question is simple. You sit on his desk, . at him on the man-breasts, and plan a big, sloppy kiss on his forehead. If you can chant while you do this, so much the better.

Actually, I'm surprised you even needed to ask what to do.. surely everyone knows this already??

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:13 (nineteen years ago) link

My buddies used to do a really shitty but hilarious epic-metal version of that theme.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Good lord. Did they even sing the lyrics?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:14 (nineteen years ago) link

http://img31.exs.cx/img31/700/worfdance.gif

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Sweet Christ that's excellent.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:45 (nineteen years ago) link

It looks like he's doing the Beavis & Butthead dance.

― eat fudge banana swirl (Nick A.), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:46 (nineteen years ago) link

RENDEZ VOUS AT RAJILICUS 8

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:48 (nineteen years ago) link

"Yooooou used to be my Romulan."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

jon, now post the other one..

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:33 (nineteen years ago) link

He's wearing a Harry Potter tie today.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Thursday, 26 August 2004 08:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Hmmm. He's not as cool as he used to be.

― Bumfluff, Thursday, 26 August 2004 08:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Ask to see his wand. If he pulls one out, snap it in half and start cackling that you've robbed him of his powers.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 26 August 2004 11:07 (nineteen years ago) link

He says he has 'others' at home. That's an overheard conversation, obv. I don't talk to him.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Thursday, 26 August 2004 12:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Ties or bodies?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 August 2004 12:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Does he run one of those "Countdown to Hermoine's 18" websites?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 26 August 2004 12:24 (nineteen years ago) link

Ties are totally useless unless people entertain you with them. You should thank him for being your office circus. Of course I would never wear one, because I refuse to entertain.

― dleone (dleone), Thursday, 26 August 2004 12:58 (nineteen years ago) link

If you've ever see Colin the Office Cock from the Fast Show, you'll understand what this guy is like.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Thursday, 26 August 2004 13:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Ask to see his wand.

Top tip. Do NOT ask to see his wand. This might be the opening he's looking for.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 26 August 2004 16:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Remember, I said to snap it in half if he brought one out.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 26 August 2004 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link

three years pass...

Is his Riker tie pre or post beard?

― 24 Unagi Plaza, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 11:20 (fifteen years ago) link

How can you tell the difference? </annoying>

― StanM, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 14:15 (fifteen years ago) link

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