viz. funny or purile or both?

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'Captain Scott may have been only the second man to reach to the South Pole, but he was the first to die there. so his expedition wasn't a total waste of time.'

viz is great

Barnaby (Barnaby), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:26 (fifteen years ago) link

I think it's time for some Top Tips...

Huey (Huey), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:44 (fifteen years ago) link

A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an ideal "car" for snakes.
G. Dorson Skipton

Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.
P.J. Ruddock London


Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.
Sgt. R. J. Crowe 662 Squadron. Germany

Pass off as Welsh by putting coal dust behind your fingernails and talking gibberish all the time, stopping occasionally to sing loudly, or set fire to someone else's house.
Mr P. Lilburn Rotherham

Why pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.
B Reastford Iranville, Notts

Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic.
D. Rogers Hemel Hempstead

Werewolf enthusiasts. Get that 'wolfy' feeling every night by simply gluing a paper plate to your bedroom window.
J. Bradley. Beeston, Notts

Mix tea with coffee, and leave in the fridge to cool. Hey presto! Toffee.
A. Sharp. Birmingham

and so on...

Huey (Huey), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:46 (fifteen years ago) link

It's the only publication I buy on a regular basis. "Scurvy Dogg", in which Snoop Dogg calls on his homeys for vitamin C or else his teeth fall out had me giggling all the way home from the corner shop.

"BANANA'S?! These 'nanas is a good source of potassium and B6! Not mofuckin vitamin C! Now go out and get me some limes and tomatoes before I bust a cap in yo' DAMN FOOL ASS!"

dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:48 (fifteen years ago) link

50 Cent offering him "this lemon I suck on to keep my face looking like a cat's arse" made me lose it. As did Archbishop Don "Magic" Juan turning up with a pink Caddy full of peeled potatoes.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:58 (fifteen years ago) link

Golly. Robster, if you're reading, bring the latest copy to town tomorrow. Ta.

(My favouritest ever story is Atheists In Foxholes. I really like that bloke's style)

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:01 (fifteen years ago) link

Special mention to the Drunken Bakers although they're wearing a bit admittedly.

I have the Viz Ad Break book. The "Queen Food" advert is the funniest thing in the whole wide world and shouldn't be allowed. "9 out of ten kings prefer to feed their queen Queen Food etc...

dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:03 (fifteen years ago) link

gentlemen. speed up your lovemaking by playing Benny Hills's theme tune 'Yackety Sax' in the bedroom.

Barnaby (Barnaby), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:05 (fifteen years ago) link

I recently bought a Big Hard One for 50p out of WHSmith's clearance sale, but it was rubbish so I threw it away.

PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:18 (fifteen years ago) link

Top Tip-Why spend money on expensive "ribbed" pleasure aids? Just fill an ordinary condom with frozen peas and voila!

That and the make a Christmas Tree Fairy out of the page 3 girl made my spleen hurt.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:26 (fifteen years ago) link

A 'guide bat' tethered to your finger with a piece of string will help you navigate past trees and the like in the dark.

Viz is one of my favourite things in the world. I was reading through one of the annuals from the mid 90s, and there was a cartoon of a taxi driver at the airport, trying to get Ron and Russel Mael's suitcases out so they can check in, but one case is stuck, and he's pulling on it and he turns to his friend and says 'when this gets out Sparks are gonna fly.'

Fergal (Ferg), Thursday, 22 July 2004 22:27 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh, and Victorian Dad was good too. 'Gather round family, we must have a meeting to make plans for our trip to the seaside.'

'That's nice, dear.'

(FIERCE BACKHAND) 'HOW DARE YOU BE SO FAMILIAR'

Fergal (Ferg), Thursday, 22 July 2004 22:28 (fifteen years ago) link

(One last surfacing before I come back from vacation.) Search the archives, friends. They ARE there. Old threads DO exist. The archives love you, please love them back.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 July 2004 22:42 (fifteen years ago) link

To be fair, Viz isn't the easiest thing to search for.

Alba (Alba), Thursday, 22 July 2004 22:48 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh, sorry - I thought the ILX search didn't allow words under four characters.

Alba (Alba), Thursday, 22 July 2004 22:50 (fifteen years ago) link

I see - it works for title search but not for the full text one. Maybe it should say that on the search page.

Alba (Alba), Thursday, 22 July 2004 22:51 (fifteen years ago) link

A good suggestion! Mention it on the mod request board, plz.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 July 2004 22:55 (fifteen years ago) link

what happened to all the funny?

dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 23 July 2004 00:19 (fifteen years ago) link

Shh this is ILX, they dont "do" funny ;)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 23 July 2004 00:56 (fifteen years ago) link

Hmmm, I may celebrate payday by buying a copy after work. Last month's 'Oor Morrissey' made me chuckle.

robster (robster), Friday, 23 July 2004 06:30 (fifteen years ago) link

"Oor Morrisey" was also teh funny yeh.

dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 23 July 2004 07:02 (fifteen years ago) link

Morris Day was always my favourite

Porkpie (porkpie), Friday, 23 July 2004 07:25 (fifteen years ago) link

::bashes head against desk::

The best thing about breaking up with Joe is that I never, EVER have to read Viz, (or rather, have it read at me) ever again.

Ma$onic Boom (kate), Friday, 23 July 2004 07:26 (fifteen years ago) link

my favourite bits of viz were always the pastiches of old Dandy / Beano strips like Billy The Cat or Black Bag just because they obviously knew and loved the source material. and Tex Wade, Frontier Accountant.

Simon Donald, one of the creators, regularly contributes to radcliffe's programs on radio2 (this Monday, for instance).

koogs (koogs), Friday, 23 July 2004 07:46 (fifteen years ago) link

do a lot of the viz writers also work for the dandy and beano?

dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 23 July 2004 07:57 (fifteen years ago) link

DC Thomson have threatened Viz with legal action once or twice, I think, so probably not.

robster (robster), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:03 (fifteen years ago) link

They do share cartoonists, or at least they used to. This was talked about on one ot the other threads.

Alba (Alba), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:16 (fifteen years ago) link

fifteen years pass...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EKgxHiFXkAAFZBL?format=jpg&name=900x900

I'm definitely a puerile degenerate but just nearly died at this

calzino, Saturday, 30 November 2019 16:42 (one week ago) link


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