Lance Armstrong is a God

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*smiles, mops brow*

christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 20:57 (eleven years ago) link

Can I just say

There's a reason why I resisted wearing one of those stupid yellow bracelets in the chemo room? That whole LIVESTRONG thing just rubbed me the wrong way - the way Armstrong was praised for LIVING STRONG and BEATING CANCER, just like it was another Tour de France race. The whole campaign seemed like another example of being STRONG ENOUGH to say NO to DEATH.

When none of that has anything to do with whether you succumb to a disease or not. I do know that Armstrong enjoyed a degree of health care not available to many, many other sufferers of cancer, just like he had some extra medical help in winning those bicycle races. I would feel like a schmuck right now had I held my fist in the air, little rubber band with his name on it dangling from my wrist. It's another example of holding a parade for somebody who was already living on a float.

Someone will argue that at least, in the end, he raised awareness of cancer. You know, cancer, that obscure c-list disease that only people with hazel eyes and left hands get. If anything, he raised the hopes of some that turned out to be artificial, at best.

So at long last, I can feel comfortable about saying Fuck This Guy without getting pelted with a bunch of little lemon powerbars.

pplains, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:13 (eleven years ago) link

xpost

more likely to be Lance's own brand of really terrible Stroopwaffles

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:22 (eleven years ago) link

i heckled lance at the nyc marathon, thats right everyone, im working on picking out the color for my own bracelets

lag∞n, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:23 (eleven years ago) link

brown wd be nice

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:26 (eleven years ago) link

lag∞n's bracelets will read: BEAT THE DEVIL

Aimless, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:26 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/Yv743.jpg

monster imo

jabba hands, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:28 (eleven years ago) link

a friend read tyler hamiltons autobio and he said theres a story in there of tyler and lance training when a car cuts them off so lance takes a short cut stops in front of the car pulls the driver out and beats him up, just a real mean bastard this guy

Yeah, I got the Hamilton book for Xmas. Lance Armstrong is undeniably a cunt, but to be honest I sympathize with him in that particular incident.

A Yawning Chasm (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 23:27 (eleven years ago) link

xxx-post

THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS

go to party leather (ENBB), Wednesday, 16 January 2013 00:41 (eleven years ago) link

"self-righteous egomaniac"? I dunno Onion, that's giving him a lot of credit, especially when "sociopath" is just one word.

hot slag (lukas), Wednesday, 16 January 2013 00:47 (eleven years ago) link

Lance Armstrong is a Dog, one you do not trust

some dude, Wednesday, 16 January 2013 01:05 (eleven years ago) link

Cartoon where Lance Armstrong and Eric Clapton are both claiming to be God(s) and then Sheryl Crow is making a cute smirk like "oh brother, these two guys..." in the next panel

Cunga, Wednesday, 16 January 2013 08:27 (eleven years ago) link

i wonder if he's recanted months of calling ppl pussies on twitter who questioned his original stupid newsweek article?

http://cantstopthebleeding.com/wordpress/img/2012/08/Screen-Shot-2012-08-27-at-1.24.55-PM.png

mookieproof, Wednesday, 16 January 2013 08:41 (eleven years ago) link

Okay - who is watching the Oprah interview?

EZ Snappin, Friday, 18 January 2013 02:05 (eleven years ago) link

i'm already bored

J0rdan S., Friday, 18 January 2013 02:07 (eleven years ago) link

wow the show is really called "Oprah's Next Chapter"

Matt Armstrong, Friday, 18 January 2013 02:10 (eleven years ago) link

the size of the own logo is hilarious

johnny crunch, Friday, 18 January 2013 02:16 (eleven years ago) link

it's dull, he's smug, already used the "everybody was doing it" line. I'll just leave it in the background and shake my head occasionally.

EZ Snappin, Friday, 18 January 2013 02:16 (eleven years ago) link

the fact that they stretched this into 2.5 hrs of content is the biggest travesty of all

johnny crunch, Friday, 18 January 2013 02:20 (eleven years ago) link

someone tell me when he flies into a roid rage

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 18 January 2013 02:25 (eleven years ago) link

Richard Moore ‏@richardmoore73

Trending topics in UK: #BBCLance, #Oprah, #Lance, #EPO and #JEDWARDmissMUCH

my life in the bush of goatse.cx (haitch), Friday, 18 January 2013 02:32 (eleven years ago) link

omg this is the most boring thing i've ever watched

i've turned on drumline

J0rdan S., Friday, 18 January 2013 02:33 (eleven years ago) link

Bec ‏@Brocklesnitch

I hope Lance Armstrong cries and then Oprah softly licks all of his tears from his face to help her do some more time in her workout later

my life in the bush of goatse.cx (haitch), Friday, 18 January 2013 02:33 (eleven years ago) link

Well he's still lying.

He's obviously protecting people (that lied for him under oath) and denying any recent wrongdoing that is still within the statute of limitations.

He's only admitting enough to try to gain some sponsorship back and to get some of his supporters back.

His mind is so evil and calculating that he'll believe only what he wants to... It's hard to say what's going to happen to him next.

BUT...

If he really wanted to reverse the damage done to the support he could provide intel to USADA/WADA connecting his management, his financiers to the top of the UCI, all the while fixing the races, and probably the biggest kicker is how his financiers bankrolled the Amgen IPO which possibly led to a highly illegal team sponsorship for Amgen's branded EPO.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 18 January 2013 03:56 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/yuysz.jpg

pplains, Friday, 18 January 2013 04:18 (eleven years ago) link

@pbump: FYI, Lance Armstong actually just tried to rationalize attempts to destroy a woman's reputation by noting that he didn't call her fat.

hot slag (lukas), Friday, 18 January 2013 05:17 (eleven years ago) link

"If there was a truth and reconciliation commission - and I can't call for that - and I'm invited I'll be first man through the door."

ball of steel

cozen, Friday, 18 January 2013 10:47 (eleven years ago) link

thread title needs a change, maybe just had "in the Nietzschean sense" or something i dunno

non-elitist melted poo (Noodle Vague), Friday, 18 January 2013 10:50 (eleven years ago) link

This is the woman who is not Fat. 1000000000x better human being than Lance

http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_t1#/video/us/2013/01/18/ac-armstrong-andreu-reacts-to-intv.cnn

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Friday, 18 January 2013 11:19 (eleven years ago) link

RIP Lance, heaven needed a really shit reason for having seven really boring Tours in a row.

Anyway, I'm off to see what L'Equipe has to say about this, I bet it will be quite reasoned.

You Just Haven't Formed It Yet, Babby (King Boy Pato), Friday, 18 January 2013 12:33 (eleven years ago) link

can we change thread title to "Lance Armstrong is a Golden God"

besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Friday, 18 January 2013 12:34 (eleven years ago) link

There was a perfectly good I hate Lance Armstrong. thread we could have used for this.

Stop Gerrying Me! (onimo), Friday, 18 January 2013 12:40 (eleven years ago) link

xp how about 'Lance Armstrong has a Golden Arm'?

pure dressed up like a white ninja (snoball), Friday, 18 January 2013 13:09 (eleven years ago) link

guys, thread title is perfect

lag∞n, Friday, 18 January 2013 13:32 (eleven years ago) link

I have expected him to start laying down plastic sheets on Oprah's set and start lecturing her about Huey Lewis

fieri inna babylon (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 18 January 2013 14:35 (eleven years ago) link

LOL otm

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 18 January 2013 17:25 (eleven years ago) link

re: moullet's post, have long said they should just legalise everything

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:30 (eleven years ago) link

an oft mentioned awful idea that would ensure victors would be those most willing to risk their lives via medical experimentation, not to mention the vast majority of fans dont want to see that shit in the first place and the whole thing becomes kinda moot w/o fans

lag∞n, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:34 (eleven years ago) link

what a lot of people don't realize about PEDs is that they affect different people in widely different ways.

in the case of endurance sports, EPO can only help some people slightly, and others immensely.

this is why when LA talks about how the era when he won the tours was "an even playing field", it's 100% bullshit.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 18 January 2013 17:37 (eleven years ago) link

If they legalize everything, I expect to see surgically-created human-animal hybrids before 2020.

Aimless, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:37 (eleven years ago) link

as the link says, it's not necessarily that life-threatening if done *well*

the main issue with it would be that of access, and consequent unfairness when the bigger nations won the arms-race to develop the most effective chemicals, although extremely talented individuals from poorer nations will always find sponsorship

i'd foresee a breakaway 'clean' movement, and YOU, THE PEOPLE would choose which to follow, if either

that said, extend this to other sports and i begin to feel a trifle repulsed, so perhaps these are just my dismissive thoughts about athletics being projected

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:37 (eleven years ago) link

aimless, that would be amazing. see the human cheetah! only 7 farthings a view! for a fortnight only!

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:38 (eleven years ago) link

this is why when LA talks about how the era when he won the tours was "an even playing field", it's 100% bullshit.

bingo, but on the spectrum of "reprehensible things Lance Armstrong said during the Oprah interview" I don't think it places that high, he really came off badly in so many ways

frogbs, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:45 (eleven years ago) link

Imago - aside from everything else where would the money come from? What brands would want to be associated with an openly 'dirty' cycling competition?

peligro, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:52 (eleven years ago) link

well, that's where a 'clean' breakaway would form, with far more stringent testing

dunno, this narrative needs some work

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:56 (eleven years ago) link

But surely there would be more money in the 'clean' version so you would just get people spending big money to come up with ways to beat the tests/bully people into silence and win that one as there would be greater rewards.

peligro, Friday, 18 January 2013 18:02 (eleven years ago) link

And then it'll be won a bunch of times by some guy called Bance Harmstong do u see

peligro, Friday, 18 January 2013 18:05 (eleven years ago) link


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