vadge horror stories

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a friend of a friend of mine has three lips, ew. any advances?

lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:52 (fifteen years ago) link

when i've stopped losing my shit over the thread title i'll let you know
OMG WHERE IS DAN

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:56 (fifteen years ago) link

Ugh, I read that as "vague horror stories", expecting kinda "and then, y'know, there was some... wailing, yeah, wailing, and I forget what happened next, but it involved zombies I think, or was it an escaped lunatic, ah, shit, doesn't matter anyway".

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:57 (fifteen years ago) link

Dan is currently losing his shit.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 10:59 (fifteen years ago) link

I think it's a legitimate question. But surely 'vag' is the abreviation.

Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:01 (fifteen years ago) link

The Dreadful Cunnilingus Incident to thread.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:13 (fifteen years ago) link

(Haha also Markelby, that difference from a vadge horror story how?)

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:14 (fifteen years ago) link

I was convinced this was c_l_m thread. :-(

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:18 (fifteen years ago) link

If this was a C thread, it would be called something like "When you're walking down the street and Miranda Richards suddenly walks by with an incontinent elephant hanging out off her quim, would you be alarmed would you whip your trouseres off and go at it like you were at a Steve Guttenberg convention?"

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:20 (fifteen years ago) link

I blame Return of The Jedi for all of my sexual hangups. My knob looks like Jabba The Hut too.

Pete (Pete), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:40 (fifteen years ago) link

too much information! (haha sez he, having clicked on a thread entitled "vadge horror stories")

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:41 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.base58.com/ilx/vag.gif

stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:00 (fifteen years ago) link

Middle-earth hermaphrodites!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:05 (fifteen years ago) link

I'd just like to point out that Dan's posited C-man version of this thread is the funniest thing ever in the whole history of the world

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:27 (fifteen years ago) link

one of them, sure.

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:34 (fifteen years ago) link

it seemed a bit inaccurate in it's eloquence

stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:37 (fifteen years ago) link

Someone I know....and I truely mean that, I am not talking about myself, was using a vibrator one time not realising the batteries had leaked inside it and got burning battery acid all over her ahem flaps. Apparently when she flung the vibrator away from herself it hit the wall and took the paint off. One can only imagine what it did to her skin.

Now if that isn't a vag/vadge horror story i don't know what is.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:39 (fifteen years ago) link

"...and when they looked down, all they saw attached to the vagina was A HOOK!"

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:09 (fifteen years ago) link

"'Ma'am," said the police operator, "'The calls are coming from INSIDE YOUR VAGINA!'"

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:10 (fifteen years ago) link

vag is surely the correct spelling.

Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:10 (fifteen years ago) link

"... and written all over the uterine walls in blood were the words, "AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU DIDN'T TURN ON THE LIGHTS?"

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:11 (fifteen years ago) link

ew ew ew ew, I know someone who got a vibrator lost inside her, wrong!

lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:12 (fifteen years ago) link

"She placed the chihuahua in her vagina to dry it out"

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:12 (fifteen years ago) link

"the killer was on top of the car, banging her boyfriend's severed vagina on the roof"

g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:13 (fifteen years ago) link

"All he could hear was the 'THUMP THUMP THUMP' of the telltale vagina."

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:13 (fifteen years ago) link

....i'm thinking of the joke where the punchline is: "good shot, right in the cunt"

Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:14 (fifteen years ago) link

"If you feed pop rocks to a vagina..."

(I realise I've drifted off topic a little)

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:17 (fifteen years ago) link

There are already enough vadge (I LOVE THIS SPELLING btw) urban myths that I don't know that we need to make up anymore. Not that this should stop you, Andrew, because the pop rocks one made me snort coffee.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:21 (fifteen years ago) link

(hee hee THE RED VADGE OF COURAGE)
("We don't need no steenking vadges!")

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:21 (fifteen years ago) link

"Get out of the house right now, YOUR VAGINA IS CHOKING ON FINGERS!!!"

nickn (nickn), Thursday, 10 June 2004 19:04 (fifteen years ago) link

"And then the veterenarian said, "Oh my god lady, that's not a hairless mexican chihuahua, THAT'S A VAGINA WITH RABIES!!!!!!!!!"

Sengai, Thursday, 10 June 2004 21:34 (fifteen years ago) link

It turns out that the maniac had already killed the dog, and the girl awoke to find "Vagina's can lick too" scrawled on the wall in blood.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:25 (fifteen years ago) link

Never flash your headlights at an approaching vagina.

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:43 (fifteen years ago) link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/04/uk_big_brother_housemates/img/9.jpg

i'm really, really sorry

don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:00 (fifteen years ago) link

(not *that* sorry though)

don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:00 (fifteen years ago) link

"... and when I woke up I was in a bathtub full of ice and MY VADGE WAS MISSING"

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:04 (fifteen years ago) link

oh no can't breathe laughing too hard

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Q: What do you eat in Australia if you're some sort of pussy?

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Um, vadgemite?

martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:07 (fifteen years ago) link

quiche
thank you, martin.

Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:10 (fifteen years ago) link

The Pit And The Pudendum

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:11 (fifteen years ago) link

STOP IT I'M TRYING TO WORK

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:14 (fifteen years ago) link

Dan on top form :)

jed_ (jed), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:17 (fifteen years ago) link

I believe it is more commonly known as vaginamite, often referred to at the same time as penis paste (Peanut paste) by primary school age children....and the man I live with.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:17 (fifteen years ago) link

penis butter and vaginamite

http://tinyurl.com/3ja5xw

rollerbeef, Tuesday, 14 October 2008 00:13 (ten years ago) link

lol bomb

ILX Systern (ken c), Tuesday, 14 October 2008 00:18 (ten years ago) link

fail

lil yawne (harbl), Tuesday, 14 October 2008 00:28 (ten years ago) link

four weeks pass...

http://maudnewton.com/images/2008/20081111_lysol.jpg

mookieproof, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 21:06 (ten years ago) link

ten months pass...

Five years later
five years gone
Look who's catching up:
Salon Dot Com

LYSOL DOUCHE

mojitos (a cocktail) (Cave17Matt), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 21:32 (nine years ago) link

totally thought this was the thread with my cadaver vagina stories

butt sound insanity (gbx), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 22:51 (nine years ago) link

the thread with WHAT? please find and link!

mh, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 22:52 (nine years ago) link

oh man

butt sound insanity (gbx), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 22:53 (nine years ago) link

!!!

existential eggs (Abbott), Wednesday, 7 October 2009 01:54 (nine years ago) link

cadaver vagina stories

steamed hams (harbl), Wednesday, 7 October 2009 01:56 (nine years ago) link

board/tabletop games

Alex Quebec (WmC), Wednesday, 7 October 2009 02:02 (nine years ago) link

six months pass...
nine months pass...

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F2UWMEUU

الله basedأكبر (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 12 February 2011 16:47 (eight years ago) link

six months pass...

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1180/952589017_ada5b6da70_o.jpg

remy bean, Sunday, 4 September 2011 22:28 (eight years ago) link

one year passes...

Just remembered this thread. I'll always love you, Lysol Douche.

Madchen, Friday, 8 March 2013 20:38 (six years ago) link

"...and when they looked down, all they saw attached to the vagina was A HOOK!"
― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, June 10, 2004 7:09 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"'Ma'am," said the police operator, "'The calls are coming from INSIDE YOUR VAGINA!'"
― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, June 10, 2004 7:10 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sleepingbag, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:10 (six years ago) link

this is amazing

sleepingbag, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:10 (six years ago) link

Memories, corners of mind, etc.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:17 (six years ago) link

oh man, that ridiculous AIM chat

"Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:20 (six years ago) link

LYSOL?????????????????
― luna (luna.c), Friday, June 18, 2004 10:08 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:23 (six years ago) link

leaving stains
all round his forehead?
izzy stradlin
something horrid?
LYSOL DOUCHE
― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, June 18, 2004 9:33 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

all-time.

c sharp major, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:40 (six years ago) link

yes

"Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:40 (six years ago) link

genius

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:42 (six years ago) link

Just remembered it's International Women's Day :-/

Madchen, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:44 (six years ago) link

haha I thought that's why you revived this!

"Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:50 (six years ago) link

it's like the vagina monologues, in a way

凸凹凸凹凸凹凸 (c sharp major), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:07 (six years ago) link

I was worried about vaginas.
I was worried about what we think about vaginas
And I was even more worried
that we don't think about them.
I was worried about my own vagina.
LYSOL DOUCHE

凸凹凸凹凸凹凸 (c sharp major), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:24 (six years ago) link

om

Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:25 (six years ago) link

g

Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:25 (six years ago) link

uh oh

≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:26 (six years ago) link

never forget

mookieproof, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:32 (six years ago) link

wow

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:34 (six years ago) link

: O

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:38 (six years ago) link

some things are best forgotten, forever

≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:40 (six years ago) link

and then there is the Dreadful Cunnilingus Incident

Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:41 (six years ago) link

no way ilx should have a town square with a statue of DJP in honor of such stories

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:41 (six years ago) link

that should absolutely happen

≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 9 March 2013 00:17 (six years ago) link

with a rim that can be rolled up to win

≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 9 March 2013 00:17 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

a friend of a friend of mine has three lips, ew. any advances?

― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, June 10, 2004 6:52 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they are either militarists (ugh) or kangaroos (?) (DJP), Tuesday, 4 June 2013 20:31 (six years ago) link

This, the BNL album cover thread, AND thread for pictures of Drake looking ridiculous all revived today!

emilys., Tuesday, 4 June 2013 23:05 (six years ago) link

what the

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 00:59 (six years ago) link

loool i would kinda maybe buy those if they were real

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 00:59 (six years ago) link

Most unfortunate author name?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/P/B0051HEJ86.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 02:14 (six years ago) link

no relation

the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 02:14 (six years ago) link

lol adam

¬╡▫ ▫╞⌠ (sic), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 03:44 (six years ago) link

six years pass...

Actually Lysol was advertised as a contraceptive. Let's dig in. https://t.co/I0gx92kCUA

— Gillian Frank (@1gillianfrank1) June 10, 2019

Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Monday, 10 June 2019 21:45 (three months ago) link


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