Minnesota/Minnesotans C or D

All the hippies at my school that dream of moving to Canada will be saddened by this information.

CLASSIC

IN THE HOUSE!!1

I was thinking this when composing the thread.

Dud:
Snow
St. Olaf College
Lutherans (aka 'lobotomy for religious reasons')
Mosquitoes AND midges (gnats) in summer
Knowing how to use jumper cables and snow-shovels
Racism towards Viets, especially Hmongs, and Mexicans and Somalis
The NW suburbs: Blaine, Brooklyn Park, Robbinsdale
Morbidly obese Minnesotans at State Fair in their thousands

Classic: Low, the Cows, Duluth, Ironworld, the International Wolf Center, the World's Largest Hockey Stick

http://www.wlra.us/wl/th/wlhstick1.jpg

As for the Vikings, I just like making fun of my dad's team as they choke in the playoffs year after year.. oh jeez, ya know dey won't win da Sooper Bowl so why not root for de Packers der. It would be cool if they did pull it out, but I tend to be pessimistic.

Except for when he pledged to only serve one term. But Wellstone is classic for that campaign bus.

Classic:
Hating all those cake-eaters in Edina
Hating the Bears
Hating the Packers
Lord Fletchers (hey, my aunt & uncle live on Minnetonka, too...and so did I 30 years ago)
Uptown
The Replacements
Prince
St. Paul
10,000 lakes
Boundary Waters
CP & the Strib (except for CJ)
that free zoo in that park that I can't remember the name of

Dud:
8 months of winter
mosquitos
SPAM
1am last call

This is also the gateway into teaching the French Revolution in St. Louis Park. Believe.

Lake Minnetonka must have a ley-line that acts exclusively as a preppy magnet.

Minnesota is a great place to grow up, but people like me need bigger cities than Minneapolis.

The problem with Minneapolis is the same with most large modern cities--there's not much density to it. It's all sprawl. Which is also part of its charm.

Also, SPAM IS CLASSIC.

-Lots of friends there
-Had some good gigs, at the Times and Cabooze and whatnot
-Lots of cool restaurants, and I love going to Maria's or Triple Rock for breakfast
-Halal markets that sell camel meat
-That Sun Ray sign on the way into St. Paul that's had the 'y' out for years, so it says "SUN RA"
-Happy Apple

DUD:

-Asshole drivers, for real
-I can't stand finding my way around Mpls, I've gotten lost there more than anywhere else and (partly as a result of being lost and stressed) gotten in my only car accident, which is still causing me financial trouble
-Driving from Wisconsin to Minnesota is most mind-numbing drive imaginable, and it's just long enough to feel really long but too short to settle into 'driving all day' mode.

You forgot MATOS. KCLASSIC.

Minneapolis road rage is among the most passive-aggressive in the world.

I miss Dayton's, the Lincoln Del, and Excelsior Amusement Park.

First Avenue/7th Street Entry
some restaurant a couple blocks away
some hotel (maybe it was by the airport?)
the mall in Edina
a gas station somewhere between Minneapolis and Moorhead
a Target somewhere between Minneapolis and Moorhead
a dumpy bar in Moorhead
some restaurant that kinda sucked in Moorhead
a Days Inn in Moorhead (we snuck into the pool later that night)
a Chinese buffet place in Moorhead
yet another gas station

Also, Husker Du.

Hah

I'd like to see more of the state.

Well you pretty much covered everything between Minneapolis and Moorhead (as well as Moorhead) so you can check that off the list.

Yet, somehow at the same time: Classic.

tom bernard: racist.

omg is this his twitter

https://twitter.com/themoderngent

ffffffu

his picture, lol

#VAwine is happenin & delicious, but is it ageable?? Askd & answrd in my latest 4 @Decanter. https://t.co/lJLnXsehVx pic.twitter.com/8FHtYdcpvU

— TheModernGent (@themoderngent) May 22, 2017

still with the fin, ok

ok lol

Selling snowballs to tourists... genius.

Brianna Sudrla, center, of Chicago laughed after buying a "real Minnesota snowball" for from a vending machine in the alley behind the Hewing Hotel. Anthony Souffle/Star Tribune #SuperBowl #BoldNorth @StarTribune pic.twitter.com/Fxe9CRAddU

— Anthony Soufflé (@AnthonySouffle) February 1, 2018

ooh fun, look: a "local ratio"!

As you listen to the MPR request for funds remember how they treated Garrison Keillor.

— Phyllis Kahn (@PhyllisKahn) February 7, 2018

brb sending MPR some money

eh I do think keillor kind of got fucked

nah he's a fuckin creep

MPR interviewed nearly every person they could possibly interview, and they decided divorcing themselves from him was justified as far as I've read? I mean, this was the result after mediation:

On January 23, 2018, MPR reported further on the investigation after interviewing almost 60 people who had worked with Keillor. The story described other alleged sexual misconduct by Keillor, and a $16,000 payment to a woman who was asked to sign a confidentiality agreement to prevent her from talking about her time at MPR (she refused and never deposited the check).

He still has his Writer's Almanac thing, they just decided not to distribute it for him anymore.

yes, the initial public disclosure-response cycle of this thing was heavily colored by the station's relative tight-lipped approach about what they had found -- at first stated only 1 person complaining -- and keillor's description of 'putting a hand on a back'

more recently a fuller description of MPR's investigation and what they turned up looks a lot uglier

i want a venn diagram of keillor truthers, franken truthers and woody allen truthers. old white liberals can get pretty defensive, turns out!

I was impressed by how thoroughly MPR did it and how robust it seemed, at least from the outside

i was not aware of the more recent info, goole. that certainly changes things.

yeah i haven't seen much commentary giving them credit for this

xp the rundown is here

https://www.mprnews.org/story/2018/01/23/keillor-workplace

thx, adding to pocket

When I've felt the most estranged ever were the 1.5 years I lived in Minnesota, during college.

Maybe it's not a coincidence that this is where I am? (He wrote, knowing many local people read this board)

― eatandoph (Neue Jesse Schule), Saturday, February 17, 2018 3:24 PM (five hours ago)

what up

I'm doing the best I can

city's changing, man

Now accepting credit cards. Don’t hate us. Also, come enjoy this beautiful patio.

— Palmer’s Bar (@MplsPalmers) May 17, 2018

daaaaang

this is deeply sad

http://www.citypages.com/news/who-is-jimmy-robinson/483985811

http://www.startribune.com/hymie-s-records-a-famed-spot-for-vinyl-in-minneapolis-is-for-sale/489026981/

Just found out about this today. I hope the owners get their wish to sell it to someone who'll keep the store going, but I'm not sure how realistic that is.

Maybe my favorite record store. Irene is such a friendly, mild-mannered dog. I do hope they find someone to keep up the good work.

in case anyone's in the market, the house down the road from where i grew up is for sale

iirc no one actually lived in it when i was a kid, and it was known throughout the township as 'the castle'. trespassing there to merely see it was a rite of passage. i went there once with my friend and my dog and we rang a bell that was for some reason built into the west end of the building, and the groundskeeper came out and yelled at us. my dog got into it with his, and ultimately we high-tailed it out of there before he could call our parents. then we walked home along the railroad bed next to the river. this concludes my YA coming of age story.

http://www.citypages.com/arts/wanna-buy-a-whimsical-1920s-mini-castle-on-the-st-croix-river/494815311

that kitchen looks like it needs to be gutted and totally redone

does anyone remember that weird house in MN for sale that was like a bond villain lair? everything was pink and made of stones and mirrors and overstuffed with chinese characters everywhere. there was a thread on the modern radio board for it i believe

Does the booze come with it?

http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/ctyp-st-croix-mansion-11d.jpg

My MN hometown has a Frank Lloyd Wright house that’s been on the market for about three years.

"what was it like, moving to Minnesota?" pic.twitter.com/B3yk1l6wPD

— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) December 6, 2018

https://www.twincities.com/2018/12/06/mark-dayton-this-isnt-how-i-planned-on-going-out-as-governor/

He said he will move into an apartment in Minneapolis after he vacates the Governor’s Residence in St. Paul. But when asked what he plans to do next, he replied, “I really don’t know.”

i like dayton... the video of him collapsing during his state of the state address was really fucking depressing. hope he rebounds

Terry Evans applies makeup to Reform Party candidate Jesse Ventura's head while Gubernatorial candidates Norm Coleman and Hubert Humphrey III prepare for their last debate at KTCA in St. Paul on Friday, Oct. 30, 1998. (@CarlosGphoto/@StarTribune) pic.twitter.com/8e1BX5Q0Yq

— Vintage Minnesota (@VintageMinn) December 20, 2018

Dud.

https://www.cpc.ncep.noaa.gov/products/predictions/long_range/lead01/off01_temp.gif

This winter was terrible.
This spring is terrible.
This summer is going to be terrible.
This state is terrible.

the weather is really making it hard to keep your head up

summer sucks!! blue blob map is our savior!

I'm fine with below average temperatures in July, but also this:

https://www.cpc.ncep.noaa.gov/products/predictions/long_range/lead01/off01_prcp.gif

Mankato be like 😈🤪🍻

Duluth be like 🐶🏒🏕🌅

Bemidji be like 🐻🎣🌲

Winona be like 🏞🏥💁🏻‍♀️

UMN be like 🐹🌃〽️

St. Cloud be like 🐺🚨💩🔫

St. Thomas be like 😼✝️💵

St. John’s be like 🙏🏼🌾💤

NDSU be like 🐮🌽🏈

UND be like ❄️✈️🍺

— yeah (@SamSchuneman) June 30, 2019

pour one out

https://twincities.eater.com/2019/8/8/20791433/old-spaghetti-factory-downtown-minneapolis-closing

"gently flavored food"

you know...it was objectively bad but I kind of wanted it to be there forever

I’m still mourning Cafe Di Napoli tbh.

POUR OUT ANOTHER

End of an era: Minneapolis’ last Perkins has closed https://t.co/1QHIdCD5eC pic.twitter.com/75GOuphZIS

— City Pages (@citypages) July 27, 2019

Dang. Are there still any Embers open?

The Edina Hwy 100/Vernon Perkins of my adolescent memories is spitting distance from Minneapolis and is still open.

wait what

Thinking of how different Perkins locations bring me back to different times.

Burnsville Parkway and 35W: getting toys from the wishing well, swarms of post-church churchgoers if we tried to go on a Sunday.

494 and France: hanging out with the first people I knew online (local-dial-up bulletin boards). Lots of goths. One large group ditched without paying and somehow left me there (maybe I’d gone to the bathroom?).

Riverside and 94: mid-20s, I had written/directed a two-actor play, and we would bring our friends there after the show, in good spirits. And Rocky Horror pre-gaming a decade before that.

And then people-watching at the Embers on Hennepin after First Avenue and whatever.

I got hired to hostess the Excelsior Boulevard Perkins and quit after the training day because they wanted me to walk in the door, already in uniform. Pay was minimum wage with no share of tips. Even my mom was like, ‘will they be punching you in before you get on the bus in that?

I'm just gonna leave this here...

http://www.startribune.com/murder-count-dropped-minn-man-gets-3-years-for-wife-s-meth-and-heavy-metal-death-party/537907892/

wow

A sheriff’s deputy dispatched to the home late that morning saw “Death Parde God Hell” spray-painted in red on the front screen door

hell yea

The last sentence reveal of the song title is just wow
Also... 59 going on 99 my god