The scrotum thread

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This is the thread where men and women can get together and talk about the fascinating subject of scrota.

Did you know, for instance, that it is de rigueur for stylish Australian women to own a kangaroo scrotum purse? Strange but true!

http://www.australiagift.com/scrotum_shop/scrotum.htm

Tim Blair, Friday, 16 April 2004 10:57 (fifteen years ago) link

uhhh....bullshit.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 10:58 (fifteen years ago) link

You're not stylish then, are you Ipso?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:24 (fifteen years ago) link

not in the slightest.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:26 (fifteen years ago) link

"Lucky Pouch In A Box"!!!

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:38 (fifteen years ago) link

Sounds inviting!

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:39 (fifteen years ago) link

australian women?

i keep my car keys in one.

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:40 (fifteen years ago) link

Who'da thunk it, Gaz is a stylish Auzzie woman!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:41 (fifteen years ago) link

you keep your car keys in an australian woman? Wow, that's some cavity!

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:43 (fifteen years ago) link

Did you know, for instance, that it is de rigueur for stylish Australian women to own a kangaroo scrotum purse? Strange but true!

Aboriginal scrota are out this year?

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:52 (fifteen years ago) link

too hard to get these days

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:53 (fifteen years ago) link

uhhh....nice, real nice.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:54 (fifteen years ago) link

There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum, you know.

Barima (Barima), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:55 (fifteen years ago) link

actually i don't even drive.

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 11:55 (fifteen years ago) link

I once had a girlfriend who told me it was a turn-off for her if the scrotum hung too low on a guy. I had never really considered the aesthetics of the scrotum before that.

thing of thing, Friday, 16 April 2004 11:58 (fifteen years ago) link

i haven't yet.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:00 (fifteen years ago) link

yay no pictures

stevem (blueski), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:01 (fifteen years ago) link

how about the texture?

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:01 (fifteen years ago) link

i saw this thing on tv once about people in the American west making purses out of bull scrotums. not surprised about the kangaroos'.

AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:02 (fifteen years ago) link

balls smell good.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:02 (fifteen years ago) link

Is the scrotum is the concrete architecture of the male body?

That almost sounds like something an intelligent person might say.

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:02 (fifteen years ago) link

i saw this thing on tv once about people in the American west making purses out of bull scrotums. not surprised about the kangaroos'

Apparently back in the good old days, Injun scrotums were highly prized

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:03 (fifteen years ago) link

supposedly the leather is super tough.


AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:03 (fifteen years ago) link

plus it feels good just to sit around and rub in some dubbin

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:05 (fifteen years ago) link

ewwwwwwwwwww

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:08 (fifteen years ago) link

lets not forget the teabagging.

Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:09 (fifteen years ago) link

or mushroom stamping

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:10 (fifteen years ago) link

They are ugly, but they feel so soft & stuff!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:10 (fifteen years ago) link

UGGGLY? Pinkpanther!

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:12 (fifteen years ago) link

Teabagging? Is that the same as The Dog In The Bathtub?

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:12 (fifteen years ago) link

i'm a little dissappointed in how flat they are. If i got one, i'd fill it with marbles to make it stretch out nice and full and round. no use having a bag that doesnt look like a bag.

AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Dog in the bathtub??

Well, ok, not uggggerly exactly, they are funny to look at.

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh, teabagging is something different. I better keep schtum.

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:16 (fifteen years ago) link

why is it some days the scrote is tighter than a virgin on prom night and others is all baggy and loose.

Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:18 (fifteen years ago) link

*spits water all over the screen*

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:26 (fifteen years ago) link

dunno, i've noticed that too, although temperature seems to have a big effect.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:26 (fifteen years ago) link

How come that they can hang a bit low, common sense says this should be when they haven't got rid of their load, soon afterwards?

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:29 (fifteen years ago) link

Dunno, the human body is a strange and wonderful thing.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:30 (fifteen years ago) link

Well you're no bluddy help! :-)

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:31 (fifteen years ago) link

mine tendds to get a bit tight when, ah, something else is, ah, um...

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:32 (fifteen years ago) link

They're tighter in cold weather and when erect. I prefer the tight look.

sam therapy, Friday, 16 April 2004 12:32 (fifteen years ago) link

well i guess it makes sense that they'd hang lower after you'd shot a load. When full i guess they're all round and springy. Much like a deflated balloon, with nothing in them, they droop.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:34 (fifteen years ago) link

*sniggers*

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:34 (fifteen years ago) link

But surely they would be heavier if they were, ahem, full!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:35 (fifteen years ago) link

You're right, PP, they are ugly. I've never understood the aesthetics of pennises.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:35 (fifteen years ago) link

Penises.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:35 (fifteen years ago) link

heavier but not droopier. I think the balloon analogy works well here.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:36 (fifteen years ago) link

Well, as much as I love them (well one inparticular) they are not the most attractive things. (meaning the whole male shebang!)

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:37 (fifteen years ago) link

one?

i don't think seminal fluid comes from the bag - just the wee tadpoles. full doesn't really come into it.


or maybe i fell asleep during that class?

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:37 (fifteen years ago) link

The amount you ejaculate doesn't weigh that much, anyway.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:38 (fifteen years ago) link

ah the good ol yambag.

Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:42 (fifteen years ago) link

they certainly are however i'm notorious for being way to rough with them.

do what?

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:42 (fifteen years ago) link

ohhhh......that.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:43 (fifteen years ago) link

yes toumas never wear tighties...they hug the bag too close to the body and make the tadpoles lethargic.

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:43 (fifteen years ago) link

Be crass of course!

It's difficult to know how to handle them to be honest.

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:44 (fifteen years ago) link

take a small pick and hack away the surrounding sandstone

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:45 (fifteen years ago) link

balls? yeah sure is. they seem so delicate or something. It's like an achilles heel hanging off the front of you.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:46 (fifteen years ago) link

They may be cool, but I'd never put them in my mouth. They look like some hairy, eyeless monsters from a children's TV show.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:46 (fifteen years ago) link

But i thought boys would like that?

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:46 (fifteen years ago) link

in mouth? I've never had a guy ask me to do that...not that it would bother me.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:47 (fifteen years ago) link

in mouth? it feel nice.

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:48 (fifteen years ago) link

It's like an achilles heel hanging off the front of you.

It sure is! The pain you feel when they're hurt is unlike any other form of pain. I suspect it's got something to do with the evolution biology and the instinct of producing offspring, that you want to protect them more than any other part of your body.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:49 (fifteen years ago) link

Yes in mouth!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:49 (fifteen years ago) link

i never get all this worry about losing sperm count because of briefs and drinking mello-yellow. it just goes back up when you stop. it's actually a proven method of birth control. sinch those suckers up there real tight and you can do away with condoms forever.

AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:50 (fifteen years ago) link

also "ask"

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:50 (fifteen years ago) link

I've never been asked to do it, I mean, it can be a bit tricky!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:50 (fifteen years ago) link

I wouldn't trust my girlfriend with them in her mouth. You do know how they castrate piglets, don't you?

sam therapy, Friday, 16 April 2004 12:51 (fifteen years ago) link

Wow, I feel so connected to all the males on the board or something. It's almost like having my own dick.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:51 (fifteen years ago) link

Now how great would that be for a day!!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Scrotums are the touchy-feely way to talk about male bits. They're all vulnerable and timid, unlike the erect penis.

sam therapy, Friday, 16 April 2004 12:54 (fifteen years ago) link

im not too keen on the balls in the mouth thing.

Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:55 (fifteen years ago) link

to be honest me neither.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:56 (fifteen years ago) link

so what do you boys want us ladeez to do with them then?

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:56 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh dear, I should go back to study for tomorrow's exam, but it's hard to concentrate on Aristothelian ethics after all these balls.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:56 (fifteen years ago) link

heh, i didn't know you were a lady till now pinkpanther :)

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:57 (fifteen years ago) link

my wife and i aren't making porno's we are trying to make a baby. and since when does balls in the mouth impregnate a woman. if it did, i probably have about 35 kids from my college days.

Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:57 (fifteen years ago) link

so what do you boys want us ladeez to do with them then?

Gentle licking is nice, you might accidentally get too ruff with your fingers.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:58 (fifteen years ago) link

i'm not calling for lengthy ball s**king here! but a bit of attention whilst yer down there is nice!

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:58 (fifteen years ago) link

really? I never knew it was so....uhh...U&K

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:59 (fifteen years ago) link

Cup them gently.

sam therapy, Friday, 16 April 2004 12:59 (fifteen years ago) link

I like it when my sack makes a bat wing.

Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Friday, 16 April 2004 12:59 (fifteen years ago) link

o yeah

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:00 (fifteen years ago) link

goodness, i've got a week to catch up on my sexual technique. I'm totally relying on you guys.

ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:01 (fifteen years ago) link

The main thing is you have to very gentle. Girls are often too rough with the little man and his two mates.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:05 (fifteen years ago) link

Scrotums are cool, scrotums are groovy
They don\\\'t make a noise while you\\\'re watching a movie

deep sea jiver, Friday, 16 April 2004 13:06 (fifteen years ago) link

"have to be"

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:06 (fifteen years ago) link

This reminds me of something a guy I once knew used to say when trying to impress upon people his wider experience of the world:

"Listen son, I was in Baghdad before you were out of your Dad's bag"

Rather topical too.

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:09 (fifteen years ago) link

:-(

I read in a book that you should make a ring (with your fingers) around the top & give them a little tug! Oh how I laughed!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:09 (fifteen years ago) link

Oops, I didnt mean to scare you lot off!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:18 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't know, no one's ever done that to me. Doesn't sound particularly enjoyable.

What sort of a book it was, if I may ask?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:47 (fifteen years ago) link

Was it written by Andrea Dworkin by any chance?

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 April 2004 13:51 (fifteen years ago) link

So, I come back from reading Aristotle, and find out that no one wants to talk about scrotum any longer?

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:48 (fifteen years ago) link

This is not the thread for talk about Aristotle.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:52 (fifteen years ago) link

It isn't, I meant that it presented a nice alternative to reading Aristotle. But I guess I'll have to return to the old, ball-les Greek chap.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

True, these days he would indeed lack that, as well as much other bodily integrity.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

I guess I'm being unfair, though, those old Greek chaps paid a lot attention to balls, as well as to other things penile. I just wish Aristotle would've written less about ethics and more about balls.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:00 (fifteen years ago) link

That was what was in the lost book about comedy. The Name of the Rose would have been a lot different if William of Baskerville had gotten the book from Jose only to discover it was nothing but jokes about scrota and ball-punching between two guys named Ephrates and Xenocrates.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 April 2004 16:01 (fifteen years ago) link

fifteen years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hcrdjn33h-4

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:19 (two weeks ago) link

great revive

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:19 (two weeks ago) link

ffs

a struggle to make meat-snacking fit (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:20 (two weeks ago) link


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