List conspiracy theories here.

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
With as much detail as possible, please. Make people feel paranoid.

Not a chance, Tuesday, 6 April 2004 10:34 (twenty years ago) link

Mel Gibson makes terrible films as a distraction from his secret career as Director of the Luftwaffe Project, developing deadly weapons for the Worldwide Consortium for Intergalactic Warfare harnessing the power of cursed Nazi Gold recaptured from the Roswell aliens, one of which was JFK.

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 10:43 (twenty years ago) link

There is no santa claus.

hmmm (hmmm), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 10:44 (twenty years ago) link

Everyone who posts to this thread will die in mysterious circumstances

Joe Kay (feethurt), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 13:57 (twenty years ago) link

What a threadkilla!

At the risk of death, I'm going to post. I've been looking for a picture of that diagram on the back of GYBE "Yanqui UXO" to post - charting major record labels' connections to WMDs, but I can't find it.

Maria D., Tuesday, 6 April 2004 15:23 (twenty years ago) link

everyone knows about 'the face on Mars' but man you should see the ass on Venus

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 15:25 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2003/20030706/s6.jpg

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 15:26 (twenty years ago) link

three years pass...

my weird looney-liberal friend just sent me this insane youtube conspiracy thingo. thots?

remy bean, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 05:07 (sixteen years ago) link

two years pass...

i like this one - CEOs resigning! they must know something

http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message981908/pg34

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 10 February 2010 12:05 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Jay-Z is a Satan worshipping Freemason:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDgUTQYEIas

Trollmatic Reflexions (ojo), Friday, 26 March 2010 15:36 (fourteen years ago) link

we can't get new 'I Love Football' board cos mods be shook

Jermaine Jenason (darraghmac), Friday, 26 March 2010 15:40 (fourteen years ago) link

Lady Gaga is an agent of the Illuminati

LiveJournal (acoleuthic), Friday, 26 March 2010 15:41 (fourteen years ago) link

http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=3306

The Transhumanist and Police State Agenda in Pop Music

here come the friday afternoon dick emoticons (latebloomer), Friday, 26 March 2010 18:35 (fourteen years ago) link

that video is hilarious. jay-z uses the word blueprint and thus he must be evil. like architects. or something. burn down all buildings designed by an architect imo. and rappers.

he might have even have gone in. (a hoy hoy), Friday, 26 March 2010 18:44 (fourteen years ago) link

In this symbolic image, Rihanna’s Mickey Mouse hat represents Mind Control. She is sitting on the phallic symbol that is the tank’s cannon. In other words, she is a pawn of the Illuminati agenda.

Trollmatic Reflexions (ojo), Friday, 26 March 2010 19:18 (fourteen years ago) link

The Denver International Airport/NWO conspiracy theory.

kate78, Friday, 26 March 2010 19:25 (fourteen years ago) link

superb article.

the big pink suede panda bear hurts (ledge), Saturday, 27 March 2010 00:38 (fourteen years ago) link

you want to believe.

kate78, Saturday, 27 March 2010 06:34 (fourteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Denver International Airport ups the conspiracy talk by installing a seven-ton, 26-foot-tall concrete sculpture Anubis.

They only want you to believe that it's promo for the Denver Art Museum's King Tut exhibit.

Elvis Telecom, Saturday, 5 June 2010 01:30 (thirteen years ago) link

This airport thing is blowing my mind, I've never heard about it before. There are some frightening people out there.

property-disrespecting Moroccan handjob (Trayce), Saturday, 5 June 2010 05:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Awesome New Scientist article:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20627606.100-living-in-denial-why-sensible-people-reject-the-truth.html?full=true

Living in denial: Why sensible people reject the truth

This should also go in the anti-vaxxer thread.

Don Homer, I have baked a special donut just-a for you (kingfish), Saturday, 5 June 2010 07:49 (thirteen years ago) link

DIA conspiracy theory is the best one going these day imo

kate78, Saturday, 5 June 2010 17:50 (thirteen years ago) link

What's with giant statues of Anubis?

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1098/4594082308_02a075963c_b.jpg

Otherwise you're kinda being comp-lit in his racism. (kkvgz), Saturday, 5 June 2010 18:21 (thirteen years ago) link

^outside a local cinema.

Otherwise you're kinda being comp-lit in his racism. (kkvgz), Saturday, 5 June 2010 18:22 (thirteen years ago) link

ha. is that the Arundel Mills Mall theater in MD?

circa1916, Saturday, 5 June 2010 19:15 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i49.tinypic.com/v7cjkj.png

omgz swastika airport

Mordy, Saturday, 5 June 2010 20:41 (thirteen years ago) link

DIA airport conspiracy theories are some of the craziest/stupidest/most entertaining. P sure Anubis will have a hard time topping the mustang unless it has a big veiny ballsack showing, too.

breaking that little dog's heart chakra (Abbott), Saturday, 5 June 2010 21:45 (thirteen years ago) link

http://artistsblog.artistsnetwork.com/content/binary/HorseWeb.jpg

This is your competition, Anubis! How can you top glowing eyes?

breaking that little dog's heart chakra (Abbott), Saturday, 5 June 2010 21:48 (thirteen years ago) link

How did the artist who made the devil-horse not realize how much it looked like a devil-horse?

Mordy, Saturday, 5 June 2010 21:50 (thirteen years ago) link

By being killed by the statue itself before he could complete it!

breaking that little dog's heart chakra (Abbott), Saturday, 5 June 2010 21:51 (thirteen years ago) link

That's another thing, Anubis: you have to kill one or more of your creators.

breaking that little dog's heart chakra (Abbott), Saturday, 5 June 2010 21:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Ok, but if I was making a totally innocent stallion, and half-way through the process I noticed it was looking a little demonic, I'd put a halt to the construction before my statue became possessed and destroyed its maker. Like, don't finish the thing and then be surprised when it rises up against you to kill you!

Mordy, Saturday, 5 June 2010 21:55 (thirteen years ago) link

That CEOs resigning one Tracer posted above also mentions the airport! People on the forum are like "omg 50 ceos in 3 weeks? CHECK ACTIVITY AT DIA!".

Like... wut.

property-disrespecting Moroccan handjob (Trayce), Sunday, 6 June 2010 00:47 (thirteen years ago) link

I love the DIA conspiracy theories so much. That mustang is fucking sick, too.

homosexual II, Sunday, 6 June 2010 01:57 (thirteen years ago) link

otm

Blind Lemon Pledge (latebloomer), Sunday, 6 June 2010 02:00 (thirteen years ago) link

Ol' Bluecifer there was originally supposed to SHOOT LASERS from his eyes!

kate78, Sunday, 6 June 2010 03:04 (thirteen years ago) link

Amusing ironic looking line in the denial article:

"Many denialist movements originate as cynical efforts by corporations to cast doubt on findings that threaten their bottom line."

Evan, Sunday, 6 June 2010 03:53 (thirteen years ago) link

"Denver is scheduled to be the Western headquarters of the US New World Order during martial law take over," Icke wrote in his 1999 book, The Biggest Secret. "Other contacts who have been underground at the Denver Airport claim that there are large numbers of human slaves, many of them children, working there under the control of the reptilians."

Blind Melon Dad Joke (latebloomer), Sunday, 6 June 2010 04:12 (thirteen years ago) link

I read about Icke last night after readign this thread. I'd heard his name but never really looked up who he was. It was almost Alan Patridge-like, the way he went from being a liked, succesful BBC sports presenter to an utter nutbag. Going on Wogan and saying "I am the son of god"?? Bloody nora. Why didnt someone get him some mental help? He's clearly ill.

property-disrespecting Moroccan handjob (Trayce), Sunday, 6 June 2010 04:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Because a lot of people need to read stuff about The JOOISH Cunspiricy without falling afoul of European hate speech laws.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 6 June 2010 04:26 (thirteen years ago) link

Subsitute the word 'want' for the word 'need' up there.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 6 June 2010 04:27 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm trying to figure out what these slaves of the reptilians do at the airport. Are they whipped and forced to push a big wheel that makes the luggage movers operate?

punperson (latebloomer), Sunday, 6 June 2010 04:27 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkOy7c7hhss

ian, Sunday, 6 June 2010 04:36 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAQruqjfT1s

punperson (latebloomer), Sunday, 6 June 2010 04:44 (thirteen years ago) link

I need to find a reason to go to Denver now. Must witness this monument to NWO/illuminati/stonecutters/lizard people ASAP.

VegemiteGrrrl, Sunday, 6 June 2010 06:16 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj8741m2jLc&feature=related

Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 6 June 2010 06:45 (thirteen years ago) link

THE SUN AND MOON ARE THE SAME SIZE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lfWxOdl9-0

max arrrrrgh, Sunday, 6 June 2010 16:05 (thirteen years ago) link

LOLOLOL

Don't look at the finger (Ste), Sunday, 6 June 2010 16:19 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDgUTQYEIas

lpz, Sunday, 6 June 2010 16:42 (thirteen years ago) link

RFK
Not RFJ
what else do I have to say

linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Friday, 7 July 2023 21:40 (nine months ago) link

We won’t elect this asshole
Even if he’s shirtless and he’s doing pushups

epistantophus, Friday, 7 July 2023 21:54 (nine months ago) link

Kennedy’s numbers are sinking recently, a new poll from New Hampshire has him at under 10 percent (if you can’t be a spoiler there why bother).

Biden can only be damaged by someone primarying him from the left and Bernie’s run in 2020 didn’t really hurt him at all. No registered Democrat who votes in primaries is interested in the anti vax homo- transphobe who is running on nothing else than being a moron and bigot. Dude isn’t even pretending to be an economic populist or anything.

Crabber B. Munson (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 7 July 2023 22:22 (nine months ago) link

What’s hilarious/horrifying is that the conspiracy theorists are probably starting to see RFK Jr. as vindication of their bizarre JFK Jr.-as-conservative-savior theory. Like, “oh we read the tea-leaves wrong, it was the OTHER Kennedy scion we were waiting for!”

epistantophus, Friday, 7 July 2023 22:24 (nine months ago) link

xp this level-headedness is uncalled for in the conspiracy theory thread!

epistantophus, Friday, 7 July 2023 22:27 (nine months ago) link

some fun fanfic was posted the other day on reddit, from a supposed molecular biologist who has worked on alien genomes. like the autopsy but for the 21st century. an entertaining read.
https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/14rp7w9/from_the_late_2000s_to_the_mid2010s_i_worked_as_a/

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Friday, 7 July 2023 22:32 (nine months ago) link

MTV VJ Kennedy could probably get to 20% in some polls 18 months out purely on name recognition.

papal hotwife (milo z), Friday, 7 July 2023 22:33 (nine months ago) link

that reddit thread is wild.. people are really buying into his shit

I have a compilation of men's postwar magazines (Argosy, Saga, etc.) and the editors said that would completely fabricate important WWII battles.. but readers would only call them out on minor technicalities, i.e. "There's no way the Germans had the R-63 Wildcat in 1942, it was even completed until early 1944!" etc., without noting that the battle itself was totally fictional

I get the same drift from this reddit thread, like "what about gut bacteria?" Jeez louise you suckers

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 7 July 2023 22:56 (nine months ago) link

This American Life on Art Bell:

Someone sent Art this tape, which was supposedly recorded by scientists who were mining in Siberia. They drilled down nine miles until they smashed through into earth's hollow core. They measured the temperature at 2,000 degrees. And then they dropped down a super-sensitive microphone to listen to the tectonic movements. But they accidentally recorded the moanings of souls in hell.

So Art plays this tape on the air, and people call in to discuss the breakthrough because there are questions of methodology to be discussed. They're not saying, well, maybe hell doesn't exist, or even if hell exists, it's probably not in the center of the earth, or it would be easy for anyone to fake this. They're discussing the logistics of drilling a nine-mile hole and then dangling a microphone into it.

Kim Kimberly, Saturday, 8 July 2023 00:36 (nine months ago) link

Oh, by the way, there’s Qanon movie in the top ten right now

Alito Bit of Soap (President Keyes), Saturday, 8 July 2023 01:23 (nine months ago) link

Fuck that movie and everyone who paid to see it

linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Saturday, 8 July 2023 01:34 (nine months ago) link

Posted about it in a diff thread

linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Saturday, 8 July 2023 01:35 (nine months ago) link

Is Art Bell still on the air? Or did he eventually get trapped in another dimension or something? I used to love listening to him whenever I happened to be out driving late at night. I remember one time someone had brought him a time machine, and he spent the whole part of the show that I heard going back and forth about whether he should try it. I never heard what happened.

Oh I see he died a few years ago. Or DID he.

He died in 2018. I remember he disappeared from the air and said his son had been kidnapped and infected with AIDS. I thought it was a weird stunt but it turned out to be true.

Alito Bit of Soap (President Keyes), Saturday, 8 July 2023 02:06 (nine months ago) link

Someone sent Art this tape, which was supposedly recorded by scientists who were mining in Siberia. They drilled down nine miles until they smashed through into earth's hollow core. They measured the temperature at 2,000 degrees. And then they dropped down a super-sensitive microphone to listen to the tectonic movements. But they accidentally recorded the moanings of souls in hell.
So Art plays this tape on the air, and people call in to discuss the breakthrough because there are questions of methodology to be discussed. They're not saying, well, maybe hell doesn't exist, or even if hell exists, it's probably not in the center of the earth, or it would be easy for anyone to fake this. They're discussing the logistics of drilling a nine-mile hole and then dangling a microphone into it.

the tape of the souls in Hell circulated among credulous evangelicals for a while. The recording of the souls screaming in torment turned out to be pitch-shifted from the 1972 Mario Bava film Baron Blood

J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Saturday, 8 July 2023 04:48 (nine months ago) link

The Cydonia Face on Mars is another Art Bell classic.

earlnash, Saturday, 8 July 2023 05:12 (nine months ago) link

Do super sensitive microphones like high temperatures? Record without distortion at them and remain intact etc

&isn't the earth hollow anyway? I mean otherwise how would the Nazis live down there? I saw a documentary on SyFy

Stevo, Saturday, 8 July 2023 06:39 (nine months ago) link

All about the mic placement, I’m sure Steve Albini would know.

Dan Worsley, Saturday, 8 July 2023 07:22 (nine months ago) link

If I was to record the moanings of souls in hell I'd use a Behringer mic.

you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Saturday, 8 July 2023 07:42 (nine months ago) link

use a disposable mic cos the souls in torment aren't exactly trustworthy innit?

Stevo, Saturday, 8 July 2023 10:02 (nine months ago) link

Thanks to a trove of old ’90s Art Bell episodes on Archive.org, I listened to a bunch of them while rewatching The X-Files last year. It was fun but tainted by the suspicion that if I googled a lot of these folks, they are probably now right-wing cranks. I mean, they were cranks back then, but the show/topics often had an apolitical air that made even government conspiracies a bit more fantastical in the vein of "Bigfoot is real" rather than "Dems are secretly sex trafficking children”. Fantasy, really.

Ditto The X-Files, too. The show didn’t have right-wing intent—all that post-Watergate paranoia leaned left, if anything, especially when it tied stuff like Operation Paperclip into its mythology—but it was hard for the modern political environment not to shade my viewing. I mean, the big baddie of the show is basically the deep state, and there’s whole plot about a vaccine that is a cover for collecting DNA from abductees.

blatherskite, Sunday, 9 July 2023 21:43 (nine months ago) link

That’s basically Glenn Greenwald’s whole schtick—Mulder used to seem like an anti-establishment leftie, now he’d be read as a right winger.

Alito Bit of Soap (President Keyes), Sunday, 9 July 2023 22:17 (nine months ago) link

I'm not usually a fan of disinformation pranks but I'll make an exception here

I work at AMC and just got fired for refusing to add this liquid to a customer’s soda. We were instructed specifically to serve this to Sound of Freedom audiences. I am a microbiology student and took it to the lab to examine and found what looks like nanobots inside. pic.twitter.com/UHpULlfof2

— andrew (@mrnastynodrama) July 12, 2023

Alba, Saturday, 15 July 2023 04:50 (nine months ago) link

I'm not usually a fan of disinformation pranks but I'll make an exception here

I work at AMC and just got fired for refusing to add this liquid to a customer’s soda. We were instructed specifically to serve this to Sound of Freedom audiences. I am a microbiology student and took it to the lab to examine and found what looks like nanobots inside. pic.twitter.com/UHpULlfof2

— andrew (@mrnastynodrama) July 12, 2023

Alba, Saturday, 15 July 2023 04:50 (nine months ago) link

Ditto The X-Files, too. The show didn’t have right-wing intent—all that post-Watergate paranoia leaned left,

I was thinking about this recently and I wonder if the main difference is scale. The deep state conspiracy was small in number and hidden, whereas now the conservative conspiratorialism is massive and all-encompassing, everyone is in on it. In some ways conspiratorialism on the right isn't really even conspiratorialism, its things out in the open, democracy, bureacracy, regulations, laws, administration. Groups of people having a meeting is inherently suspect, it should be one guy telling the others what to do

That x-files type conspiracy stuff seems the anomaly though, not what we see today

anvil, Saturday, 15 July 2023 05:09 (nine months ago) link

all digital media is turning teal

Gerard Grisey Funk (Boring, Maryland), Saturday, 15 July 2023 14:10 (nine months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Mr Beast is the antichrist.

the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 3 August 2023 06:57 (eight months ago) link

Antichrist has fewer subscribers

one month passes...

i'm spreading my own conspiracy theory. it goes like this. joe biden had hunter arrested - instead of the phony plea deal that was just a red herring or a macguffin or something - and he will have him convicted and then anyone who has ever done drugs will not be able to buy a gun in the future. it will be called: The Hunter Law.

i'm still working on some of the details...

scott seward, Wednesday, 20 September 2023 15:17 (seven months ago) link

the fact that a (sinister but unpspecified) "THEY" can "CONTROL THE WEATHER" goes back at least to kurt vonnegut's brother bernard discovering silver iodide is effective in cloud-seeding -- plus there's a famous funny-cringey passage in trotsky's LITERATURE AND REVOLUTION where he declares that mankind will one day (after the revolution, via machines) ) master all of nature including the waves and the clouds ect ect

anyway there was a little old lady -- querulous yet also vociferous -- explaining loudly to the whole tolerant post office, as plymouth prepares for STORM AGNES to make landing, that the russians can stop and start tempests at will, which is why the tanks and rockets in the mayday parade are never seen to get wet

mark s, Wednesday, 27 September 2023 10:59 (six months ago) link

Newsweek agrees with her! Except, in 2017, it didn't work (and good luck with Ms Agnes Storm, iodide or otherwise)...

https://www.newsweek.com/clear-sky-bad-weather-ends-moscow-air-show-605889

Michael Jones, Wednesday, 27 September 2023 14:16 (six months ago) link

Aye, right enough, ye meet some right zoomers when ye're waitin' tae cash yer giro.

The First Time Ever I Saw Gervais (Tom D.), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 14:20 (six months ago) link

I'm just going to assume the study leading to the current headline "Sitting all day increases dementia risk — even if you exercise" is total bullshit being propagated for the benefit of ... shoemakers?

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 27 September 2023 22:25 (six months ago) link

ALL DOCTORS AGREE: STOP EATING THIS VEGETABLE IMMEDIATELY

Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 27 September 2023 23:43 (six months ago) link

one month passes...

I haven't thought of Above Top Secret in years, but I heard that the site just collapsed - everyone locked out of their accounts, the owners have ghosted, threads falling apart from spam attacks, one or two volunteers haphazardly trying to keep it all together. Fascinating to see any 20+ year community immediately pivot to cannibalism once the mods disappear.

Elvis Telecom, Sunday, 5 November 2023 03:57 (five months ago) link

This is an admittedly minor conspiracy, but I'm pretty sure that the nation's convenience store workers have agreed to stock all the sodas facing backward so you can't easily tell what they are.

Hideous Lump, Sunday, 5 November 2023 05:22 (five months ago) link

Inconvenience stores

Beyond Goo and Evol (President Keyes), Sunday, 5 November 2023 21:04 (five months ago) link

four months pass...

This seems inevitable, only a couple of years living internet left I think

silverfish, Monday, 1 April 2024 18:09 (three weeks ago) link

The problem I see with Dead Internet Theory is that the internet isn't self-sustaining. Humans work to tend and pay for it in return for a perceived benefit. As the percentage of fully-automated interaction rises there will be a point of diminishing returns to the real humans who pay for its continuation.

Either an equilibrium will be achieved or the internet will swiftly die. A similar mechanism is present in biology, where parasites that kill their hosts before they can find new ones will quickly perish as a species. A Dead Internet would look like an empty abandoned mall, instead of a mall full of zombie shoppers looking for living brains that never arrive.

more difficult than I look (Aimless), Monday, 1 April 2024 19:06 (three weeks ago) link

I mean a dead internet will still be useful for shopping/banking/streaming, it will just not be useful for social interactions or searching for information

silverfish, Monday, 1 April 2024 19:22 (three weeks ago) link

always amazed at how much more difficult it is to search for things anymore

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Monday, 1 April 2024 19:48 (three weeks ago) link

my main task on the two hiking websites I help moderate is killing seo spam.

more difficult than I look (Aimless), Monday, 1 April 2024 19:53 (three weeks ago) link

speaking of conspiracies...I was reminded by my brother that I was the victim of one in 5th grade. I was accused of being part of a conspiracy to cheat in the elementary school spelling bee.

Never mind the fact that I got 32/35 right on the qualifying test to get into the final round. My mother was in the audience and everybody insisted she was mouthing the letters of every word to me. Maybe she was, idk. But I wasn't looking at her. Nor could I read lips (I still am not great at it). and also, the words weren't very hard. even by elementary school standards.

but like everybody kept coming up to me for 3 months saying EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CHEATED any time they saw me or the bee came up, and saying my mom fed me the answers, and that we had pre-planned this system of cheating. eventually I told someone "well I'm sorry these words are hard to YOU, but I actually know things" and subsequently got punched in the stomach.

CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Monday, 1 April 2024 20:14 (three weeks ago) link

Woah, that’s fucked up

Slorg is not on the Slerf Team, you idiot, you moron (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 2 April 2024 01:28 (two weeks ago) link

That's like Quiz Show Part II

Josefa, Tuesday, 2 April 2024 02:38 (two weeks ago) link

always amazed at how much more difficult it is to search for things anymore

― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Monday, April 1, 2024 2:48 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah it's wild I noticed last month that the top result for a lot of the stuff I was searching for was AI generated and now I've noticed it's the top 3

frogbs, Tuesday, 2 April 2024 02:47 (two weeks ago) link

yeah it fucking sucks now!
i may ask well just yell out to my mum from the other room & get as many wrong sound-alike answers

werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 2 April 2024 03:25 (two weeks ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.