MEN:SHOW US YOUR WIENERS

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okay, don't show them, but in the interests of fairness please describe your male sex organs in excruciating detail. Starting NOW

Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:26 (seventeen years ago) link

36D.

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Bitchez on my jock like a coup deville

Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought that was what ilm was for.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:30 (seventeen years ago) link

It's smiling at you.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:30 (seventeen years ago) link

my sex organ?
http://www.aloha.com/~darkwatr/the_organ.jpg

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:31 (seventeen years ago) link

I wish I wasn't circumcized. I met a guy once who was "growing" his foreskin back. Anyone tried that?

Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:32 (seventeen years ago) link

http://theimaginaryworld.com/pix20.jpg

andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:32 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm really glad i'm "cut " - girls get freaked out by the skin. American girls, anyhow.

andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:33 (seventeen years ago) link

you sure you don't want to see it?

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:33 (seventeen years ago) link

I met a guy once who was "growing" his foreskin back. Anyone tried that?

Ignoring the more obvious question ("Why?"), I'm more intrigued by exactly HOW he plans to pull this off (pardon the pun).

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:34 (seventeen years ago) link

I predict the first man to answer this seriously will be Skidmore.

I disapprove of the implicit attempt to draw an equivalence between breasts and penises.

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:34 (seventeen years ago) link

I'd just like to point out that the thread below this on New Answers starts with "hard, oily." Not that I'm saying anything.

Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Long and slim when erect. Foreskin clipped. Slight curviture to the left. My right testicle dangles lower than the other.

x-posts ha ha you wrong other nIck

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:35 (seventeen years ago) link

"Artery-demolishing."

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Why do you disapprove? Is it the unfair 2 on 1 advantage?

Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:37 (seventeen years ago) link

'Ignoring the more obvious question ("Why?"), I'm more intrigued by exactly HOW he plans to pull this off (pardon the pun)...."

Dr. Dean Edell described the procedure. It involves scotch tape and six months, I think.

andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:37 (seventeen years ago) link

"What gets you through your day/life"

Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Ignoring the more obvious question ("Why?"), I'm more intrigued by exactly HOW he plans to pull this off (pardon the pun).

To answer the more obvious first, I met a German guy once who claimed I could not fathom the pleasure he felt because I was circumcized. I don;t know how he knew that, but...

How? Well there is some sort of tool that stretches what skin you have left slowly over time. see nocirc.org

Mitchell Wimbish (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:37 (seventeen years ago) link

you know i never really notice when a guy is uncircumcised. doesn't seem to make much difference to me.

Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:38 (seventeen years ago) link

oh LORD are we gunna get some fun googlers from this thread

Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, there are websites and books you can read. ("The Joy of Uncircumcision" is the book that I used to see regularly at the Strand.) But from what I've read, the restretched foreskin isn't really the same thing at all.

Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:39 (seventeen years ago) link

What, Sam, do you not go down on guys?

Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:39 (seventeen years ago) link

"After a hot bath, to make the skin soft and loose, pull it as far
forward over the head as possible, WITHOUT CAUSING PAIN. Use a piece of tape to strap it in place, running the tape side to side instead or top to bottom . Tapping side to side will make it
easier to urinate with the tape in place. For some people, it
may be easier to sit down and urinate..."

From the Foreskin Restoration page: http://www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/restore/

andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:40 (seventeen years ago) link

absolutely I do but still, don't really notice much difference. If it's dark and I didn't know ahead of time I probably wouldn't know at all.

Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Taping my stretched out dick is not exactly what I want to do after a nice hot bath.

Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:42 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't miss my foreskin if I don't even remember it!

Aaron A., Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Well do you know that you have experienced both varieties?

Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:42 (seventeen years ago) link

You don't remember your foreskin, Aaron, but it remembers you.

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:43 (seventeen years ago) link

Wow. I'm going to respectfully disagree with Sam on that one -- uncut penises tend to have, well, more to play with as well as a different smell, taste, and texture (the head of the penis doesn't get so, well, callused). Of course some guys have more generous amounts of foreskin that others...

Anyway, we already had a "describe your penis" thread a few months ago.

Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:43 (seventeen years ago) link

eh I can't say I really 'experienced' being uncut as I would qualify it.

Aaron A., Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Sitting down while I urinate makes the penis a moot point anyway.

andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:44 (seventeen years ago) link

aaron, sorry i was asking ask for janice

Mitchell (Mitchell), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Your foreskin is unqualified, Aaron?

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:45 (seventeen years ago) link

chris, the only thing i might have noticed is what seems like baggy skin. although the last guy i was with who was uncut was pretty tasty. . .don't know if that was why or not.

Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:45 (seventeen years ago) link

That was quite possibly why. ;-)

Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I long to cry out You have made my penis a moot point!, but as yet the appropriate context has not presented itself.

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:46 (seventeen years ago) link

why else would I qualify it??

Aaron A., Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:47 (seventeen years ago) link

So this is just a straight-up cocksucking thread, then?

andy, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:49 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know, Aaron - job opportunities?

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:49 (seventeen years ago) link

no not straight, according to nza

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:50 (seventeen years ago) link

For fuck sake, ILX is in the gutter. Not really but does anyone want to look at this thread? It scares me someone is thinking "ah yes, Ned's lad has always been an enigma to me, and what about Geir Hongro's, the possibilities are endless!!"

Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Ha ha, Ronan is scared of female sexuality. Deviant sexuality, I grant you.

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Not really, I find men being into it just as odd, if there was a thread "describe your breasts" I wouldn't be into it either. I am a neo-con.

Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:55 (seventeen years ago) link

no wait you're a neo-con, AND YOU, AND HIM, AND ESPECIALLY YOU.

Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:55 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes but what about your penis?

Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:56 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't believe it.

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:56 (seventeen years ago) link

and yet he not only opened the thread but bothered to post to it too. thanks for the scolding!

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:56 (seventeen years ago) link

very clever.

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:57 (seventeen years ago) link

One careful owner.

Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 22:57 (seventeen years ago) link

any other pierced heads here?

hector (hector), Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:16 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.shaverfamily.org/photos/butter_small.jpg

BUTTERBROT, Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:38 (seventeen years ago) link

SHIT THAT OUT!!

BUTTERBROT, Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:44 (seventeen years ago) link

is that vanila ice? yum.

:|, Thursday, 11 March 2004 05:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I heard the great thing about being a moyel is you get to keep the tips! Badabing, etc.

Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Thursday, 11 March 2004 06:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I think maybe I... won't click. Maybe. Yes, I think that would be best.

Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 11 March 2004 08:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Tuomas to thread.

My penis is uncircumcized, they don't do that in Finland. It's somewhat darker than the rest of my body, but I guess that's the case with most guys. In resting position it's rather small, but when erected it is of average size, and also quite thick, I think. It's quite hairy as well, I've been thinking about whether I should try to shave it, but I haven't had the guts to do that yet.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 11 March 2004 09:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Allegedly I have "admirable girth". Hmmm. Looks pretty normal to me, and i've been in many a communal shower in my time.

And now, to kill the thread, a picture:

http://www.lasguias.com/_contactos/destacado/2pollas/3.jpg

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 11 March 2004 10:18 (seventeen years ago) link

someone reads popbitch

the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 11 March 2004 10:41 (seventeen years ago) link

That's not normal, right?...otherwise there's something seriously wrong with mine...

xpost

winterland, Thursday, 11 March 2004 10:43 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes I nicked it from PB, so sue me. But my, what a thoroughly remarkable "handicap"!

CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 11 March 2004 10:50 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2000/20000922l.jpg

Barima (Barima), Thursday, 11 March 2004 11:11 (seventeen years ago) link

I predict the first man to answer this seriously will be Skidmore.

I'm too late to be first at this, but I have a naked full-frontal pic of me that I am happy to send out if anyone has any interest. (I've only sent it to one ILXer so far!)

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 11 March 2004 13:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Krikey missus!

Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Mine looks like a bonsai tree decked out in Christmas ornaments.

NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:41 (seventeen years ago) link

I was going to do a Google image search for "evil penis" but then I remembered that I'm at work.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 11 March 2004 14:59 (seventeen years ago) link

well, I'm not at work so I did the work for you.. and here's the first image from Image Googling "evil penis":

http://www.connect.ab.ca/~hv42/bowling.jpg

...to which I'm afraid will kill this thread dead.

donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:33 (seventeen years ago) link

i thought for sure this was goint to be a c477Um thread

kephm, Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:35 (seventeen years ago) link

This was the fourth image btw:

http://www.ratatak.com/modules/images/spam.jpg

This was the seventh:

http://www.thedisseminatedgroup.com/cwgun.jpg

which originated from THIS page on low budj movie from the mid 80s Cocaine Wars.

Dan, it's really really disappointing over all. Trust me.

donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:37 (seventeen years ago) link

This was the fourth image btw:

http://www.ratatak.com/modules/images/spam.jpg

This was the seventh:

http://www.thedisseminatedgroup.com/cwgun.jpg

which originated from THIS page on low budj movie from the mid 80s movie Cocaine Wars.

Dan, it's really really disappointing over all. Trust me.

donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:37 (seventeen years ago) link

(sorry)

donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:38 (seventeen years ago) link

I find what you're doing a good way to kill time this morning.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:40 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, trust me. it's a GREAT distraction.

donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 11 March 2004 15:40 (seventeen years ago) link

By the way, I promise I will keep the names of anyone who wants a naked pic of me secret!

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Even if it's Ronan?

Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:26 (seventeen years ago) link

I'll have it on the front of the Daily Mail in 2 minutes.

FETISH FORUM PHOTOS. FEELS FUNNY.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 11 March 2004 17:32 (seventeen years ago) link

LESS BALK, MORE COCK. Sam's right...there's no real need to be squeamish about this.

Like Matos, mine's a bit darker than the surrounding skin, and while it doesn't curve to the left or the right, it does have a very slight twist counterclockwise looking from the top. Not sure whether that's weird or not.

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 12 March 2004 02:03 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.bensdeli.net/art/GGGArt/koshercdburst.gif

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 12 March 2004 02:41 (seventeen years ago) link

sean, that's rather odd. . .

Martin, don't let DB up you, post it here! crop yr head out and stuff if you want.

Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Friday, 12 March 2004 03:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I am an oddity! Time to join the circus!

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 12 March 2004 03:05 (seventeen years ago) link

crop yr head out and stuff if you want.

I love the alternate semantics of this sentence. :)

donut bitch (donut), Friday, 12 March 2004 06:07 (seventeen years ago) link

I've been thinking about whether I should try to shave it [his wang/balls], but I haven't had the guts to do that yet.

Don't do it! It hurts/stings/itches/feels funny and you don't want to put any aftershave on that shit. Guys don't shave yr junk! You won't comfortably masturbate for weeks!

(Now I am wondering if describing my schlong would've been less of an admission than the above)

christhamrin (christhamrin), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Chris, there is this thing called a back, crack and sack-wax.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:04 (seventeen years ago) link

isn't that a tennis player? annette backcracknsack?

the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:06 (seventeen years ago) link

annalise sorry

the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:07 (seventeen years ago) link

194 answers, 3 of which are serious. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything else.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Chris, there is this thing called a back, crack and sack-wax.

Intriguing...is there anesthesia availible?

christhamrin (christhamrin), Friday, 12 March 2004 11:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Tuomas' description could equally count for mine, if anyone's interested, which I doubt they are, except that mine isn't particularly dark. My balls are though.

Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 12 March 2004 12:06 (seventeen years ago) link

What's all this dark genitals nonsense? Where have you been sticking them? Or do you just sunbathe nude?

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 12 March 2004 12:31 (seventeen years ago) link

sometimes nobbers are just a bit darker. nothing sinister

the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 12 March 2004 12:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, shut it, pale-cock.

Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:04 (seventeen years ago) link

posh cock!

teeny (teeny), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:07 (seventeen years ago) link

posh wank

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Martin, don't let DB up you, post it here! crop yr head out and stuff if you want.

I actually have nowhere to host it, and would not impose my body on people anyway, even just a pic. I've only had one person take me up on my offer so far!

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 March 2004 13:54 (seventeen years ago) link

nickalicious is having us on. Everybody knows it's the LEFT nut that hangs lower!

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 12 March 2004 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Tuomas, when I called you to thread, it wasn't so much for a description of your penis as it was that a friend of mine had just posted pictures of his penis and I thought it was an interesting situation compared to your "casual nudity among friends" thread (and sorry if you've been pegged as "Mr. Casual Nudity Among Friends"). This situation seems like it's a bit different (formal nudity?).

Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:31 (seventeen years ago) link

No problem, as I said on that other thread I find it no problem to appear nude, and I'd post a picture of my penis here if I'd own a camera and knew how to put pics on the InterWeb.

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:39 (seventeen years ago) link

annette backcracknsack?


From Hackensack, obv

Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:41 (seventeen years ago) link

???

Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 March 2004 15:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Well, see, and I'd look at your picture, T., but it would be entirely for prurient reasons.

Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 12 March 2004 16:04 (seventeen years ago) link


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