hate to ljsplain this (actually i lie, i love to lol) but this is the situation
some ppl are uneasy around children for w/e reason
some ppl adore children oo coo otty potty bum
if these two camps respect one another's positions then we will have a functional society
― Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:27 (seven years ago) link
if you look back at what i said, i said children seemed to have both a capacity to be more innocent but also to behave in a more base, destructive way. but that's minus any real power, screaming for a second dessert or something, which kind of goes to the heart of it for me. there's a power imbalance between adults and children. we shouldn't expect them to behave better than us.
And not to get all "it takes a village" here but children don't just absorb their social and moral cues from their parents and grandparents, they absorb them from everyone around them. Treating them like pestilent little pariahs probably not a good idea.
― and this section is called boner (Phil D.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:28 (seven years ago) link
obviously lex should just cut all the parents out of his life; it's better for everyone
it won't help on the sidewalks, but life is sadly imperfect
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:31 (seven years ago) link
yeah louis it's fairly easy to come in and say this.
the truth of the thread is it began by someone saying they hated children, the word "hated" was used, then subsequently the hatred was toned down to a diet version of "would prefer not to be around them" - which is fine. no problem with people choosing how to spend their time.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:32 (seven years ago) link
the truth of the thread is it began by someone saying they hated children, the word "hated" was used
stop lying and exaggerating you ridiculously overdramatic person
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:33 (seven years ago) link
Xps he did say that was the nadir of what io was talking about! just didn't think it fair to say either is "blaming the child"
― banfred bann (wins), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:33 (seven years ago) link
the word "hated" was used
By lex?
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:34 (seven years ago) link
you have to wonder about the motivation behind interpreting "i dislike being around children and am annoyed by them and their parents" as "i hate all children and they make me an irate monster"
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:34 (seven years ago) link
also i hated children when i was a child, it's not a new development― lex pretend, Monday, December 12, 2016 12:11 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― lex pretend, Monday, December 12, 2016 12:11 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― and this section is called boner (Phil D.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:34 (seven years ago) link
As an adult, hanging out near the elementary school playground every day is finally YOUR choice.
― Evan, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:35 (seven years ago) link
you know who loved children?
― Our Sweet Fredrest (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:35 (seven years ago) link
Humbert Humbert
― Our Sweet Fredrest (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:36 (seven years ago) link
oh shit now I don't know what to think
― banfred bann (wins), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:37 (seven years ago) link
xp Jimmy Savile
― troops in djibouti (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:38 (seven years ago) link
He loved corpses too, so he doesn't really count.
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:42 (seven years ago) link
― Our Sweet Fredrest (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, December 13, 2016 2:35 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
he was also a vegetarian iirc
― I've read Ta-nehisi Coates. (marcos), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:42 (seven years ago) link
Corpses are much more polite than children tbf.
― troops in djibouti (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:43 (seven years ago) link
if we can ban both strollers (Britishes "prams") and dogs then I'll consider this thread a winner
― droit au butt (Euler), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:51 (seven years ago) link
lex's selective memory perhaps some indication that he is, just maybe, dimly and partially aware of being wrong here
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:58 (seven years ago) link
sorry i swore at you - i just don't get what your view is based on these interjections.
I wasn't ignoring this I just got pissed off at the xpost bug
don't worry about it - I think I gave my view above, such as it is: I'm not much of a dog person but took the original revive in the spirit intended; then everybody literally - literally - I mean this literally - went insane
your posts have been good lg fwiw but otherwise tombot otm basically
― banfred bann (wins), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 20:00 (seven years ago) link
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, December 13, 2016 7:58 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this overreaction to mild hyperbole is completely fucking ludicrous and, I'd posit, far more bizarre behaviour than merely ~hating children
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 21:25 (seven years ago) link
I hate hyperbole with the fury of a hundred suns.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 21:28 (seven years ago) link
Two things based on what I have read:
1/ Misanthrophy does indeed come in a couple of flavours. Patricia Highsmith was def one for people hating and animal loving. Lex is hating on children and loving of dogs so both his love and hate are too particular.2/ Not sure about this notion that children are the only disruptive ones. Dogs can be quite disruptive in pubs, crawling under your leg and begging for your attention. Often in the same class as small children. They are similar and must be trained well to behave. I try to avoid both.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 21:47 (seven years ago) link
3/ Plants and stones are the best.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 21:48 (seven years ago) link
lol Aimless
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 22:02 (seven years ago) link
Mild hyperbole can be irritating because of the sweeping statements involved e.g.
oh and another thing is that 99% of the time having children turns formerly interesting and fun adults into complete bores (the 1% mostly comprises naturally gifted raconteurs who can make any anecdote entertaining). this thread seems evidence of that
and the 'hey I don't know why everyone gets so wound up - it's only a bit of mild hyperbole' escape clause.
― Dr Drudge (Bob Six), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 22:09 (seven years ago) link
he really meant only 96%
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 22:10 (seven years ago) link
can you imagine anyone being called a bad person for not enjoying the company of dogs or cats?
If you don't enjoy the company of dogs or cats, you are a bad person.
― I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 23:30 (seven years ago) link
I've only ever heard "I don't like children" from gay men and quite supercilious ones. I'm not saying that that's you, Lex, but it has driven me mad in the past. It's too much of a pose and it's one that's definitely worth resisting strongly, IMO.
On the other hand, resisting middle class indulgent parents who'll let their children do anything they want is something we should all get behind. I once saw a 5-7 year old boy climb into the freezer cabinet at waitrose (the kinda trough ones) and walk over the produce, climbing over the glass patricians that separate the trough while his mother, pushing the trolley alongside him, occasionally meekly called out "Charlie [or whatever - one of those old fashioned classy names] the man will be very cross if he sees you in there.... We could get thrown out... You might be told off soon. " & similar while I looked on aghast.
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:10 (seven years ago) link
"Glass patricians" o_O
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:11 (seven years ago) link
smash them
― kinder, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:17 (seven years ago) link
shouldnt stow thrones
― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:18 (seven years ago) link
I've only ever heard "I don't like children" from gay men and quite supercilious ones. I'm not saying that that's you, Lex
hmm if only there was enough evidence for us to determine this conclusively
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:21 (seven years ago) link
I've heard that from all kinds of people. Including my wife. And me.
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:31 (seven years ago) link
no one likes kids, the parents itt are hardcore lying to themselves because that's what they have to do. 'you tell a lie so much, you start to believe it's real...' - vito from the sopranos
― sleepingbag, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:33 (seven years ago) link
gay vito?
― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:36 (seven years ago) link
I like kids, I just don't think anyone should be having them based on my entirely pessimistic view of what the world will be like in 50 or 20 years.
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:38 (seven years ago) link
Or two years.
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 00:44 (seven years ago) link
Everything he did was pose—a pose so deeply calculated that if one were not on the lookout one mistook it for impulse. Ralph had never met a man who lived so much in the land of calculation. His tastes, his studies, his accomplishments, his collections, were all for a purpose. His life on his hill-top at Florence had been a pose of years. His solitude, his ennui, his love for his daughter, his good manners, his bad manners, were so many features of a mental image constantly present to him as a model of impertinence and mystification. His ambition was not to please the world, but to please himself by exciting the world’s curiosity and then declining to satisfy it. It made him feel great to play the world a trick.
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 01:06 (seven years ago) link
Fair to say: I probably like my (late) dog more than I like most other people's children, and one reason I loved him was because he was very tolerant of the children who wanted to interact with him. Probably also fair to say that I had a lot of issues with other kids when I was a kid, because what kind of asshole decides it's OK to bully another kid who is in the middle of chemotherapy?
However, entitled parents are far, far worse than their progeny, and parents being cruel to their kids in public gives me rage. See also: friends with boy children who are all 'go for it kiddo, be the best you can be' but with girl children, 'sharing is important, wait your turn'.
― jane burkini (suzy), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 07:56 (seven years ago) link
i've most often heard it from straight women, but almost always online, in the context of a vent they wouldn't be able to say out loud. hardly ever from straight men. i don't know why you'd say it's a pose or pretend to have that sort of insight into how people really feel
― lex pretend, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 09:08 (seven years ago) link
don't want to imagine how many different kinds of cancer my mom would have to have for me to be shocked someone spoke to their kid while i was talking about them
― difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 09:23 (seven years ago) link
I may or may not be a straight woman who has ventured an opinion on OPCs while in proximity to Lex.
― jane burkini (suzy), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 09:31 (seven years ago) link
i think most straight men i know show a vague disliking for kids - maybe even some who have kids. i sort of agree a lot of people don't enjoy the behaviour of kids, who would enjoy it at times, i said as much about myself throughout, i just think we have a duty of tolerance towards them because they are young.
was thinking about this this morning and i think it also just depends on the person - my brother gets on prob a little better with my nephews than me because he is willing to mess-fight with them for the endless amounts of time they want to do this. i'll read them a story or watch football with them or play in the garden or interact in whatever other way, and that's grand, i enjoy hanging out with them like this and we get along well. i think over time they kind of know this as well so they're less likely to just jump on me or whatever. i wouldn't have wanted to arm-wrestle someone for an hour when i was a kid either, i liked sport but not rolling around on the ground.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 09:53 (seven years ago) link
I tend to find being around children exhausting and stressful, or at best boring, generally agree that it's unfair to blame the children for this though, and that parents are mostly exhausted and trying to muddle through as best they can and it's unfair to be too judgy about strangers parenting techniques. I was waiting in line at the supermarket checkout the other day and there was a woman in front of me with two boys who were running up and down shouting and smacking each other while she determinedly looked ahead and ignored them, but if she'd turned around and said "look, I have to look after these kids 24/7, and I'm exhausted, and at the moment I don't have the energy to make them quiet down, so you're just going to have to suck it up for 5 minutes" then I couldn't really say that she was being unreasonable.
― soref, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 13:58 (seven years ago) link
i wouldn't have wanted to arm-wrestle someone for an hour when i was a kid either, i liked sport but not rolling around on the ground.
I didn't like this kind of stuff either, it makes me think about Lex saying that even when he was a kid himself he didn't like other kids and wonder if a lot of adults who dislike being around children were the kind of kid who always got on better with adults than with other kids and looked forward to being a grown-up as a time when they would no longer have to deal with other kids, and kind of resent being pulled back in again? I think this is true of me to an extent.
― soref, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 14:02 (seven years ago) link
i've never thought about it in exactly those terms but that's scarily accurate
― lex pretend, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 14:05 (seven years ago) link
I was waiting in line at the supermarket checkout the other day and there was a woman in front of me with two boys who were running up and down shouting and smacking each other while she determinedly looked ahead and ignored them, but if she'd turned around and said "look, I have to look after these kids 24/7, and I'm exhausted, and at the moment I don't have the energy to make them quiet down, so you're just going to have to suck it up for 5 minutes" then I couldn't really say that she was being unreasonable.
― soref, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 13:58 (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
RONG
― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 14:08 (seven years ago) link
execute eldest child imo as a warning
― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 14:14 (seven years ago) link
Pour encourager les enfants.
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 14:18 (seven years ago) link