Mark Kermode

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Mark Kermode just revealed on Newsnight Review that he has never seen The Simpsons. Until he was asked to watch the 'British' episode for this programme, which aired on Sky One at 8.00/8.30 pm.
'It's the first time i've seen it, but i'm sold' he said.

Having enjoyed Kermode's reviews since i first heard him on Mark and Lard's graveyard shift in 94, i find this utterly astonishing.
Did none of his friends urge him to watch it before?
I mean considering his tastes?

I still can't believe it's true. He must have been pulling a prank.
Wow.

pete s, Friday, 9 January 2004 23:39 (sixteen years ago) link

I appreciate this may be completely underwhelming to everyone else, except maybe Kermode fans; and i know there's a few of you out there....

pete s, Friday, 9 January 2004 23:41 (sixteen years ago) link

I hate Mark Kermode. He deserves a life without The Simpsons.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:42 (sixteen years ago) link

NO-ONE deserves that @d@m

well there might be some, but it would be a bit Alan Partridge to work out who...

pete s, Friday, 9 January 2004 23:44 (sixteen years ago) link

He's the one with the incredibly cube-like head that sometimes introduces the 'controversial' films on Film Four?

Bob Six (bobbysix), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:46 (sixteen years ago) link

He's the one who looks like perhaps the fourth member of Bros would look like nowadays.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:46 (sixteen years ago) link

Bob: yes

pete s, Friday, 9 January 2004 23:47 (sixteen years ago) link

He's the one that looks like a comedy gay car mechanic.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:48 (sixteen years ago) link

He's "the leader of the pack".

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:48 (sixteen years ago) link

ie a member of the T-Birds in Grease

x-post

pete s, Friday, 9 January 2004 23:49 (sixteen years ago) link

He's a tramp
But I love him
Breaks a new heart
Ev'ry day

He's a tramp
They adore him
And I only hope
He'll stay that way

He's a tramp
He's a scoundrel
He's a rounder
He's a cad

He's a tramp
But I love him
Yes, and even I
Have got it pretty bad

You can never tell
When he'll show up
He gives you
Plenty of trouble
I
guess he's just a
No 'count pup
But I wish that he
Were double

He's a tramp
He's a rover
And there's nothing
More to say

If he's a tramp
He's a good one
And I wish that I
Could travel his way

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:49 (sixteen years ago) link

He's a twat.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:50 (sixteen years ago) link

Is there any other type of gay car mechanic?

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:50 (sixteen years ago) link

Show me an unfunny gay car mechanic and I'll show you a man who cares.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:51 (sixteen years ago) link

http://homepage.tinet.ie/~johndore/quentin2.gif

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:56 (sixteen years ago) link

He also admitted to being a 'churchgoer' on tonight's Late Review. He seems to be a real sucker for all sorts of gaudy, useless po-mo trash, but I respect his roots as a genre critic, which - after years of Barry fuckin' Norman - makes a pleasant change for a TV/Radio-appearing film crit.

Kermode is not his 'real' name, and he went to school w/ David Baddiel. Most ppl I know who know him say he's v. nice.

Andrew L (Andrew L), Friday, 9 January 2004 23:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Thinking back to all the 'commode' gags on Mark Radcliffe, it makes you wonder if there was a point when he felt moved to do a massive comedy 'DOH!!' on himself after the first person pointed it out.

Yeah his religiosity was a surprise too.

pete s, Saturday, 10 January 2004 00:03 (sixteen years ago) link

i was also astonished pete. he went down in my estimations.

stevem (blueski), Saturday, 10 January 2004 00:18 (sixteen years ago) link

Back when Danny Baker had his Letterman-style TV show, Kermode was his bandleader, wasn't he? Kermode's non-existent rapport had even Baker stumbling.

If anyone can get his New Statesman "best of 2003" piece on the internet, print it here: the man has lousy taste.

On the other hand, he's better than Ph*ll*p Kerr.

Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Saturday, 10 January 2004 18:03 (sixteen years ago) link

I like a lot of the movies he does (and the docs he makes abt them I'll watch) but his args can be kind of repetitive 'oh this is subversive so automatically great' Momus type stuff.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 10 January 2004 18:09 (sixteen years ago) link

repetitive 'oh this is subversive so automatically great' Momus type stuff.

Hahaha!

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 10 January 2004 18:19 (sixteen years ago) link

Err, i certainly can't recall that, Chuck, and i remember a lot about that show. Then again as i said above Kermode only invaded my consciousness on Mark Radcliffe, so subsequenty i knew him when he started turning up on channel 4 to tell us why X film was 'uniquely strange and disturbing'.

pete s, Saturday, 10 January 2004 18:22 (sixteen years ago) link

Agreed, though they don't look so alike there

pete s, Saturday, 10 January 2004 18:37 (sixteen years ago) link

He is Frank Kermode's son, according to friend who works at FilmFour.

suzy (suzy), Saturday, 10 January 2004 18:48 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't believe that, suzy

pete s, Saturday, 10 January 2004 18:56 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, friend at FilmFour told me this back when MK was just doing guesties on Mark and Lard's late show, friend was using MK as a contributor for the programme he was working on at the time and the two became good enough mates for this information to be exchanged. Mark Lamarr is the one who changed his name - you may be confused because both men appear to have been licked by a large dog.

suzy (suzy), Saturday, 10 January 2004 19:03 (sixteen years ago) link

Well clearly you and Andrew L can't both be right.
But i believe you're not fibbing.
That's weird. I think Frank Kermode's a brilliant critic as it goes.

pete s, Saturday, 10 January 2004 19:13 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm 99.9% sure he's not Frank Kermode's son, he's specifically said so. (I may be wrong)

stephen. s (yaye), Sunday, 11 January 2004 02:14 (sixteen years ago) link

He's a decent enough chap, he likes pretty much the same films as me (except exorcist) and listening to him on the way home (or to the pub) on a Friday afternoon is pretty enjoyable.

The reason he won't have seen the Simpsons before is that he doesn't have a tv, or at least he didn't until recently.

He has been mentioning the fact that he goes to church for ages on Mayo's show.

chris (chris), Sunday, 11 January 2004 10:49 (sixteen years ago) link

According to someone on Dogbomb.co.uk:

'Mark Kermode is not his real name. He changed it after he left school. His real name is Mark Fairey.'

Then again, someone else there says 'his real name is Mark Shitehouse'.

He is certainly not Frank Kermode's son.

Momus (Momus), Sunday, 11 January 2004 14:01 (sixteen years ago) link

No; he's Frank Kermode's dad.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 11 January 2004 14:24 (sixteen years ago) link

On the other hand, he's better than Ph*ll*p Kerr.

Oh, I feel your pain!

Kermode is a Manx name, and MK certainly mentions going to the Isle of Man a lot, so I think it's his real name. No idea if he's related to Frank.

I would like it if he'd not mention the Exorcist. Just once, you know.

Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 12 January 2004 09:26 (sixteen years ago) link

I always thought he was a fine person to listen and be enthused by film, but I have nearly always disagreed with him about films. I quite like the Exorcist but he almost put me off it.

What Chuck says vis a vis his skiffle band leader on the Baker TV show is correct. He was a regular on the Radio 5 morning edition as film critic, so much so he got a spin-off afternoon show before R5 went tits up. Don't care who he is related to, his quiff must annoy critics sitting behind him.

Pete (Pete), Monday, 12 January 2004 10:22 (sixteen years ago) link

He's doing good things at least on Newsnight Review, cos most of them don't have an inkling of a clue about films, it's really embarrassing. MK at least defends films from their pseudo-anti-intellectualism *and* sometimes tells them to hold back from the 'ironic' appreciation of trash. The NR lot all wuvved Terminator 3, but MK was like, No, this is a shit example of an action movie. They thought they were being post-modern.

Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:02 (sixteen years ago) link

Doing a google search on 'Mark Kermode Real Name' I found this link:

http://www.dogbomb.co.uk/board/arc/topic/4817.html

seems like another one of those alt-universe ILXs!

Andrew L (Andrew L), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:07 (sixteen years ago) link

But he was wrong about Termination 3.

Pete (Pete), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:09 (sixteen years ago) link

dogbomb = those annoying talking heads on worst 100 programmes

yes and what pete said

Jaunty Alan (Alan), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Is Pete making a ref to MK's catholicism, or is it a mis-spelling?

Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:14 (sixteen years ago) link

It is a complex multi-leveled joke. And a mis-spelling all rolled into one. Yay!

Pete (Pete), Monday, 12 January 2004 11:39 (sixteen years ago) link

four years pass...

I missed the Oscar podcast because I was on holiday and would quite like to hear it. Does anyone still have it and feel like ysiing it or something?

Alba, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 19:12 (twelve years ago) link

http://download.yousendit.com/7D61C33261BBFFD4

James Mitchell, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 19:23 (twelve years ago) link

Excellent. Thanks James.

Alba, Tuesday, 4 March 2008 19:45 (twelve years ago) link

his real name is Mark Fairey.

Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 11:32 (twelve years ago) link

I don't think he's a very good film reviewer at all, but listening is a ritual.

Alba, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:44 (twelve years ago) link

I quite like it when he fills in as film critic for the Observer, if only because he's a lot better than Phillip "give the whole fucking plot away, why don't you" French.

chap, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 15:08 (twelve years ago) link

three months pass...

Happy birthday Mark Kermode! A bouncing 45 today!

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 09:41 (eleven years ago) link

I guess Kermode and Lamarr will be fighting over the last skiffle box set in the shop.

Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 10:34 (eleven years ago) link

it's funny this whole 'is he frank's son' business. i don't think he is anymore, but he *is* manx, i'm pretty sure (like frank and me), and his real name, acccording to wiki (fairey) is also kind of manx-y.

definitely a revolutionary communist though.

banriquit, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 10:39 (eleven years ago) link

(xpost) Kermode can distract Lamarr by pointing across the room and saying "hey, isn't that a rare King Tubby 12" over there?"

snoball, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 10:39 (eleven years ago) link

mark s go on the story of film an odyssey

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:33 (two weeks ago) link

they're both bad but the thread-kid is definitely MUCH worse

MK aka MF is married to a critic who is quite interesting not least bcz her work is very knottily BDSM-adjacent which ALWAYS LEAVES ME WONDERING WHAT LEATHERBOY KERMODE etc

mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:33 (two weeks ago) link

kermode the flog

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:35 (two weeks ago) link

in the S&S office we used to make speculative jokes abt why one or the other's copy was late, jokes involving fisting, i'm sorry this is just the historical facts from a vanished and lamentable time

mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:36 (two weeks ago) link

I loved tsof:ao even when I thought he was being a wally (which was sometimes)

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:36 (two weeks ago) link

i think i got attacked for hating, hating cousins in tsof in the relevant thread

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:37 (two weeks ago) link

The speculation of fisting: age-old I mean, that wasn’t an xpost

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:38 (two weeks ago) link

I think Cousins is a good close reader but a bad theorist, whereas Mr Fairey is just bad all over

Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:38 (two weeks ago) link

I just think he has a nice voice

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:38 (two weeks ago) link

kermode the flog


i lolled

a struggle to make meat-snacking fit (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:39 (two weeks ago) link

You guys... I thought I was the only one who couldn't stand him. Brought a tear to my eye it has. Cannot think of a critic who gets more wrong.

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:40 (two weeks ago) link

I read most or all of one of mk’s books in a pub once, speaking of masochism

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:40 (two weeks ago) link

what does he say in the first place to get wrong, i ask

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:41 (two weeks ago) link

here is the thread, i am surprisingly pro MC (given me) and chairman alph says his voice is "lovely": Mark Cousins' The History of film: An Odyssey

mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:42 (two weeks ago) link

I was just about to mention that Kermode's wife is a much more interesting critic on some of the same 'edgy' material, but thought it would be a kind of reverse sexism, or something.

The defense of Kermode is that he often promotes good/interesting films to 'mainstream' audiences - much more than Barry Norman etc ever did. I imagine that, like Peter Bradshaw, he is well liked by arthouse film distributors and cinemas.

His BFI book on The Exorcist is a decent piece of film history/research (less so as a piece of critical thinking); some of the commentary tracks he has conducted - on The Wicker Man and The Devils - are pretty proficient. You don't work for the BBC for 25 years without learning some basic interviewing/moderating skills.

His radio show w/ Mayo is horrendous.

Ward Fowler, Thursday, 26 March 2020 21:43 (two weeks ago) link

here is the thread, i am surprisingly pro MC (given me) and chairman alph says his voice is "lovely": Mark Cousins' The History of film: An Odyssey

― mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 bookmarkflaglink

In my defence I am a foreigner who still finds some charm in the accents from this rainy fascist island.

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 26 March 2020 22:05 (two weeks ago) link

careful now

mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 22:13 (two weeks ago) link

😬

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Thursday, 26 March 2020 22:14 (two weeks ago) link

much of the detail of me on the other thread is bcz i was alone finally closing up my mum and dad's house after dad died (mum died some years before) and had a lot of time on my hands in the evening and was often QUITE DRUNK as is very evident at one point (ie i say so out loud)

i think i got drunk enough to go liveblog THIN RED LINE on one of morbs's malick threads not devoted to thin red line and he got cross with me

mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 22:15 (two weeks ago) link

I wonder now if the idea for MUBI basically came about because of that series. It certainly seemed to open up the space for these films outside your arthouse cinema (I have my struggles with MUBI/watching really demanding film outside of the cinema but I am also very glad it exists)

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 26 March 2020 22:36 (two weeks ago) link

a friend said "with MUBI in the lockdown i can now watch all these new films by up and coming directors!" and inside (ie not to them) i was like "DO I HAVE TO??!!"

but obviously i have all kinds of problems

mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 22:45 (two weeks ago) link

In my defence I am a foreigner who still finds some charm in the accents from this rainy fascist island.

Come now, is Ireland really that bad?

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2020 22:49 (two weeks ago) link

id tell ye more often how great it is but honestly, twould feel like rubbing noses in it given where most of ye live

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 22:58 (two weeks ago) link

I like his YouTube film reviews with Simon Mayo. Not super insightful but he at least digs into the themes a bit. Simon is a good foil for him.

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Thursday, 26 March 2020 23:09 (two weeks ago) link

Come now, is Ireland really that bad?

― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2020 bookmarkflaglink

Says he was born in Belfast *runs into minefield*

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 26 March 2020 23:13 (two weeks ago) link

Boris' bridge is looking more unlikely by the hour.

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2020 23:15 (two weeks ago) link

a friend said "with MUBI in the lockdown i can now watch all these new films by up and coming directors!" and inside (ie not to them) i was like "DO I HAVE TO??!!"

but obviously i have all kinds of problems

― mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 bookmarkflaglink

You've watched quite a lot of MUBI in your time though (films that are not by up and coming directors but still)

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 26 March 2020 23:19 (two weeks ago) link

im old and i mostly watch old stuff

mark s, Thursday, 26 March 2020 23:20 (two weeks ago) link

"His radio show w/ Mayo is horrendous."

this is something that cannot be overstated enough, it's a fucking horrid experience before you even know Leatherboy Commode has a completely fabricated name and is probably part of the Christian dogging movement. I have good memories of Barry Normie reviewing Highlander and Big Trouble in Little China even though he was a complete prick! Whenever I hear this cunt talking I'm ready to launch the fucking radio.

calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 01:15 (two weeks ago) link

Imagine if Keir Starmer reviewed films on the tadio

Mark G, Friday, 27 March 2020 07:48 (two weeks ago) link

still inseparable from this classic vid for me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTf_lo1zuqc

devvvine, Friday, 27 March 2020 13:54 (two weeks ago) link

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 14:15 (two weeks ago) link

Facebook just suggested I might want to read Mark Kermode's piece in the Observer about working from home.

Facebook was wrong.

A rat done bit my sister Nell with Biden on the nom (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 22:13 (one week ago) link

I have good memories of Barry Normie reviewing Highlander and Big Trouble in Little China

― calzino, Friday, March 27, 2020 1:15 AM

Curious about this.

The person who made that video seems to be mostly upset about Kermode promoting Cannibal Holocaust, for ethical reasons.

Only really a few things I dislike

- His rants are tiresome. I don't know why he bothers expending so much time and energy on bad films. He's hardly alone in this but I'd imagine you get this out of your system early on?
- He gives thumbs up to way too much blockbuster fluff and crowdpleasers.
- He used his Kermode Uncut videos for not enough interesting stuff. Why are his BFI streaming choices so much better? Why didn't he talk about films like that all the time? Did BBC have to approve all the topics?
- He has a very low hit rate when he's trying to be funny.

Things I like

- Correct me if I'm wrong but I think he might have done more than anyone to promote Ken Russell in the past few decades. Certainly one of his most visible cheerleaders.
- His BFI choices are generally good.
- Last year he did a summation of the year's releases and it was surprisingly wide ranging, ton of stuff from all over the world.

Although I would prefer Robbie Collin or someone else, I'm a bit puzzled by the extent of peoples hatred for him. Never thought he was particularly high on the nonsense film analysis scale.

I don't think BBC or any other major channel would have a critic who had completely sensible opinions about shitty blockbusters.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 22:54 (one week ago) link

And, magnificently, we managed to piss off the Daily Mail critic (the one who said I watch too many films) AGAIN! Huzzah! Job done! pic.twitter.com/luK2P2Inqp

— Mark Kermode (@KermodeMovie) April 3, 2020

Mark G, Friday, 3 April 2020 09:52 (one week ago) link

pic.twitter.com/luK2P2Inqp

Mark G, Friday, 3 April 2020 09:52 (one week ago) link

whatevs

Mark G, Friday, 3 April 2020 09:53 (one week ago) link

https://twitter.com/KermodeMovie/status/1245971466514059264/photo/1

this absolute wrongness?

calzino, Friday, 3 April 2020 09:58 (one week ago) link

oh its posted now and I've fucked it as well! Lol what an absolutely stupid challop

calzino, Friday, 3 April 2020 09:58 (one week ago) link

it's as bad as saying Jeff Koons was better than Warhol, just utter wrongness. Oldman is a useless twat as well, apart from in Prick Up Your Ears!

calzino, Friday, 3 April 2020 10:03 (one week ago) link

tbf Kermode's being saying, "Actually I don't own a TV", since before it became fashionable for other twats to say it.

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 3 April 2020 10:11 (one week ago) link

inasmuch as they're comparable (not very) most films are better than most TV shows but in a fight between the Daily Mail and Mark Kermode the only winner is the person who didn't see this little spat in the first place

A rat done bit my sister Nell with Biden on the nom (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 April 2020 10:14 (one week ago) link

I think Oldman's excessive vanity and egomania are what marks him out as a mediocre (dare I say overrated - no it's banned on ilx!) hack actor, as personified in that shift as Churchill a few years back. Never seen such a risible pile of plop in my life that serious film critics were actually being quite polite about. OMG it was a fucking joke.

calzino, Friday, 3 April 2020 10:16 (one week ago) link

You think that literally every actor is overrated calz!

Microbes oft teem (wins), Friday, 3 April 2020 10:19 (one week ago) link

The vast majority of them are.

Has the fact that Kermode is a convert to Anglicanism been mentioned?

Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 3 April 2020 10:19 (one week ago) link

some actors are brilliant, even in average stuff like Alec Guinness for example. But Gary Oldman more often than not is the main reason lots of movies are bad imo

calzino, Friday, 3 April 2020 10:26 (one week ago) link

there were suggestions of god-bothering tendencies upthread, didn't know the details. figures he'd be into the worst branch of Christianity.

i'm usually with Hitch as far as actors are concerned.

A rat done bit my sister Nell with Biden on the nom (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 April 2020 10:26 (one week ago) link

yep Hitch was right, there should be a maximum wage for these fuckers and they should be thrown off the set if they come with attitude and ego and should be treated like shit!

calzino, Friday, 3 April 2020 10:30 (one week ago) link

they should be on apprenticeship wages when they are shit, not easy money for just turning up!

calzino, Friday, 3 April 2020 10:32 (one week ago) link

i dislike the whole premise of the series, him demystifying cinema, spilling the secrets. the magic is part of why i watch films, i don't want them unmagiced.

koogs, Friday, 3 April 2020 12:12 (one week ago) link


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