Confession time

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I have never, ever heard a Rolling Stones album.

I am unable to follow even simple plots in the movies.

I am 36 and cannot drive; nor can I use a mobile phone or a lawnmower.

I stopped going to synagogue the week after I got my Bar Mitzvah. The rabbi stopped me in the street one day, got out of his car, and threatened to take it back off me! Can you revoke a Bar Mitzvah??

the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 14:56 (sixteen years ago) link

I am 30 and cannot drive, and don't intend to
I am lousy at sex, but a pleasant kisser (i am told)
I have not done a jot of work this week or last
I haven't bothered to visit any members of my family this xmas

Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:07 (sixteen years ago) link

there's lots of groups or ppl in the canon that I've never heard a record by: rolling stones, motown, stax, james brown (the odd tracks I've heard on the TV but not a Cd collection). plenty of composers too.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:11 (sixteen years ago) link

I am 24 and still live at home. I am also probably not very good at sex. I am without God.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:33 (sixteen years ago) link

I can't even remember if I'm good at sex.

Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:39 (sixteen years ago) link

i stole Bob Monkhouse's jokebooks

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:46 (sixteen years ago) link

Julio, buy a James Brown cd.

I stopped going to synagogues the day after my Bar Mitzvah. If a rabbi ever said that to me, I would likely tell him to fuck off. He's welcome to it anyway.

I'm very grumpy this morning.

I can sing in tune only about 40% of the time.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:19 (sixteen years ago) link

i am still in love with at least two people who are not in love with me anymore (for differing reasons).

if i don't somehow turn my life around in the next few months i am going to probably off myself.

hopefully this will be my last post to ilx for the foreseeable future, but i doubt it.

fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:22 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm beginning to think that either 'love' is a lie or else I am incapable of human feeling.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:24 (sixteen years ago) link

I have a carton of milk in my fridge with the expiry date of Nov. 11

Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:26 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm at work and looking at ilx on this all-time rock-bottom day when I could be here: December 30th ILx Pub Crawl: The Other Euston Hexagon aka The Mornington Crescent

This situation will be rectified within the hour.

Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:27 (sixteen years ago) link

we lead uncannily similar lives today tim tim

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:28 (sixteen years ago) link

not unless you've sorted your hair out, we don't.

Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:29 (sixteen years ago) link

You would think you would've "remembered" to throw that milk out, Huck. Don't worry, I just smacked myself in the nuts for that one.

Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:29 (sixteen years ago) link

i'm within 500 metres from that event right now yet i'm still at the office. :(

ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:30 (sixteen years ago) link

i love the royal george pub as well

ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:31 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, I just noticed it yesterday. When I added a new carton to the collection (exp. date: Jan. 15). I was going to take it out to the garbage, but I didn't. I'm so lazy in the winter.
But I did eat cereal for breakfast today for the first in nearly two months! And I used the right milk!

Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 16:31 (sixteen years ago) link

I've read 2 books in the last 5 years and they were 'Atomised' and 'Platform'

dave q, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 17:49 (sixteen years ago) link

take part in the 'I love books' book group dave.

you also read 'The Creep' by Jeffrey Frank (i came across yr post abt it while searching for somethign else yesterday).

being 24 and still living with yr parents is not that bad surely.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 17:59 (sixteen years ago) link

Sometimes it feels it.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:00 (sixteen years ago) link

I was living with my parents for a while when I was 24.

Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:00 (sixteen years ago) link

and 23 and 22.

Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:00 (sixteen years ago) link

I essentially rent two rooms off them and occasionally join them for meals, so it's not that bad.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:04 (sixteen years ago) link

And they have just bought me a chair!

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:04 (sixteen years ago) link

I confess I confess!
I bought the Finding Nemo DVD

The colors are so pretty, and I love it when they are trying to speak whale.
I know, I am a freak.

Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:59 (sixteen years ago) link

For the past seven years, I've only read books that are about music. There's no joy in my life.

may pang (maypang), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:19 (sixteen years ago) link

I can't stop re-reading the dirty parts of Henry Miller books.

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 20:39 (sixteen years ago) link

i cry at movies and music, but i dont cry when sad things in real-life happen

todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:10 (sixteen years ago) link

I ate a whole cheesecake. All by myself.

Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:11 (sixteen years ago) link

I refuse to see Super Troopers cuz my ex told me she liked it. It's weird, since I totally listen to albums and see movies she likes too, but for some damn reason I get all tense and edgy when friends ask if I've seen Super Troopers or invite me to.

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:18 (sixteen years ago) link

I've never seen...nor particular cared to see..."the Rocky Horror Picture Show".

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:19 (sixteen years ago) link

I haven't done any serious job searching in weeks. I've read the Lou Reed 'Transformer' bio four times through, and I don't even like his solo career.

Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:20 (sixteen years ago) link

If I make a frozen pizza and I'm home alone, I invariably eat the whole thing.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:24 (sixteen years ago) link

I EAT DUST AND I'M ALL RUN DOWN

Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:38 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm on my way, I'm making it
I've got to make it show, yeah
so much larger than life
I'm going to watch it growing

the place where I come from is a small town
they think so small
they use small words
-but not me
I'm smarter than that
I worked it out
I've been stretching my mouth
to let those big words come right out

I've had enough, I'm getting out
to the city, the big big city
I'll be a big noise with all the big boys
there's so much stuff I will own
and I will pray to a big god
as I kneel in the big church

big time
I'm on my way-I'm making it
big time big time
I've got to make it show yeah
big time big time
so much larger than life
big time
I'm going to watch it growing
big time

my parties all have big names
and I greet them with the widest smile
tell them how my life is one big adventure
and always they're amazed
when I show them 'round my house, to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
with a snow-white pillow for my big fat head
and my heaven will be a big heaven
and I will walk through the front door

big time
I'm on my way-I'm making it
big time big time
I've got to make it show-yeah
big time big time
so much larger than life
I'm going to watch it growing
big time big time
my car is getting bigger
big time
my house is getting bigger
big time
my eyes are getting bigger
big time
and my mouth
big time
my belly is getting bigger
big time
and my bank account
big time
look at my circumstance
big time
and the bulge in my big big big big big big big

TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:44 (sixteen years ago) link

I've never seen...nor particular cared to see..."the Rocky Horror Picture Show"

you must be my long-lost brother!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:49 (sixteen years ago) link

i have been driving around in my unregistered unwarranted car for almost 2 years now, and just today got busted.

donna (donna), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 22:47 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm so bored with books lately. It's frightening.

Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 22:49 (sixteen years ago) link

i am naked in the dark and there is no veil between me and the wheel of fire.

gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 22:53 (sixteen years ago) link

I have no driver's license.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 23:53 (sixteen years ago) link

If I make a frozen pizza and I'm home alone, I invariably eat the whole thing.

It's funny how doing this makes one feel like such a complete schlub.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 23:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh, so my turn: I've not so much as kissed anyone since April 2001.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 23:59 (sixteen years ago) link

i cry at movies and music, but i dont cry when sad things in real-life happen

me, too.

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 00:08 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't cry at anything.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 00:10 (sixteen years ago) link

I have also not seen any family member this xmas.

I have not spoken to or seen my grandparents since Easter.

I haven't mopped in two weeks.

I'm afraid of what lives at the back of my fridge.

I've never seen Titanic.

Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 00:20 (sixteen years ago) link

I've never seen any of the Godfather movies, nor LOTR.

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 00:21 (sixteen years ago) link

I not only can't drive, I'm scared of driving, and I'm 32.

I am also scared of balloons (in case they pop, dig?)

I have been known to go more than several days without bathing on the odd occasion.

I have never seen Rocky Horror or the Blues Bros films properly, and I've never seen any of the Aliens trilogy at all.

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 00:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Eating a whole pizza or a whole pan of lasagna is a normal thing for me.

I like Aja (but not in that weird creepy way people imply).

Carey (Carey), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 00:42 (sixteen years ago) link

I just found a baby mouse in my kitchen sink.

Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 01:08 (sixteen years ago) link

(and if no one else had been in I'd have left it there too)

Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 31 December 2003 01:09 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah but i'm a man, grrrr

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 17:36 (sixteen years ago) link

uh, so am I. rawr

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 17:38 (sixteen years ago) link

I have never seen Seinfeld.

I cry during Australian soap operas.

I tied a boy's shoelaces together at school aged 8 then denied it and the whole class was kept in.

Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 17:46 (sixteen years ago) link

I am listening to Fragile by Yes right now......by choice!

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 21:29 (sixteen years ago) link

I am the Lindbergh baby. I'm 100 years old, but my complexion is youthful because I was preserved in peppermint schnapps in a large barrell for 80 of those years.

NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 21:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Enrique: haha! Classy! Thing is, there are far worse clubs than that. I went to it when it was route 66, many years ago. There were some good nights there though (at the kambar) as my boy & his lot used to dj, so it wasn't the usual trash.

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 08:58 (sixteen years ago) link

I've always paid my way since high school, but if I really wanted to I could live in relative luxury for the rest of my life off a parental fortune too disgusting to even type. Now I'll never be popular on the internet.

Le Coq (DarrenK), Saturday, 17 January 2004 15:44 (sixteen years ago) link

Or you'll be extra-popular! Are you looking for a balding middle-aged husband at all?

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 17 January 2004 22:18 (sixteen years ago) link

VANCOUVER FAP. Just fly us all in and we'll scrounge off ya.

(Fret not, Darren, yer a good sort.)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 17 January 2004 22:23 (sixteen years ago) link

Le Coq is now my BEST FRIEND

anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Saturday, 17 January 2004 22:59 (sixteen years ago) link

Aw thanks guys! (Feverishy scribbles name on orange juice carton)

Le Coq (DarrenK), Sunday, 18 January 2004 04:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Adopt me. I can paint, do basic repairs and build Ikea furniture.

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 18 January 2004 04:42 (sixteen years ago) link

I shaved off my pubes last night in a fit of pique.

Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 17:34 (sixteen years ago) link

I reached my peak last night in fit of pubes.

omg, Tuesday, 20 January 2004 17:38 (sixteen years ago) link

This thread has been locked due to the most perfect 1-2 combo ever posted to the forum.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 17:54 (sixteen years ago) link

Le Coq is now my BEST FRIEND

RESPECT him

Tom Cruise (blueski), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 18:07 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...
I have just listened to the live CD of James' last gig at G-Mex and got goosebumps and shed a tear. Do not hate me. Pity, perhaps, but hatred is unpleasant and poisons your soul.

Dave B (daveb), Monday, 22 March 2004 15:35 (fifteen years ago) link

nine months pass...
I have "Eye Of The Tiger" on my iPod and sometimes, when I have it on random play and it comes on while I am at the gym, I will work out to it. Totally without irony.

.adam (nordicskilla), Monday, 3 January 2005 21:04 (fifteen years ago) link

i once hit on a guy who i was sexually obsessed with (he is quite dreyfussian)whose name is phil. i am not sure what came over me, but i passed him a note in the coffeeshop that read----

phil-
atio?

emily

Emilymv (Emilymv), Monday, 3 January 2005 21:11 (fifteen years ago) link

I like Van Hagar.

A lot, actually.

martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 3 January 2005 21:14 (fifteen years ago) link

I can't ride a bike.
I can't swim. I won't drown, but I can't stand to put my head under water in a pool.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 3 January 2005 21:15 (fifteen years ago) link

my dog ran away on New Year's Eve when some local toughs started lighting firecrackers while she and I were playing catch in the park late at night. confession: i was only moderately upset that she might be gone for good after 11 years of my taking care of her freeloader ass.

today, two days later, I found her at the animal shelter. so it's a happy ending but I feel more than a little bit guilty about my reaction.

tobo (tobo), Monday, 3 January 2005 21:18 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...
I just read this entire thread, to try to feel better about myself, or something.

I've almost obsessively lurked these boards since last summer, (I've posted only a few times).

I refuse to grow up.

I'm, essentially, a recluse (I don't like labels). I refuse to leave the house for months on end. When I do have to leave, I feel disgusted the moment I'm back home and need a shower right away.

andy dale (andy dale), Saturday, 25 March 2006 08:43 (thirteen years ago) link

I am 30 and my sexual abilty is unrivaled.

Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Saturday, 25 March 2006 09:18 (thirteen years ago) link

I am genuinely terrible at all sports, and will not even play a friendly game of volleyball, for fear of pissing people off.

If I'm dancing in a club, I am compelled to sing along with songs I know all the words to. And I know the words to a lot of songs.

I am outwardly quite friendly, and usually make good friends wherever I go. But I have a misanthropic streak a mile wide, and I worry about becoming a lonely, crotchety, reclusive old man. People disappoint me with their greed and their stupidity.

I get seasonal depression in the winter time, and it's been bad enough for me to think about doing myself in.

I am so ambivalent about both of my parents that I could happily never speak to either one of them again.

I think I'm addicted to the internet.

Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 25 March 2006 16:56 (thirteen years ago) link

Emily's!!!

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 25 March 2006 17:24 (thirteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...
I was once in a proto-Emo band called Soul Patch.

Wrinklepaws, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

I am a world class procrastinator.

I have no idea how to drive a car with a stick shift. I'm also a bit phobic about driving in unfamiliar places, especially cities.

I have watched General Hospital since I was in grade school and still enjoy some of it.

Sara R-C, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:31 (twelve years ago) link

seeing threads like this that are years old I always have an initial pang of fear. oh god, did i confess something here that is going to haunt me? (no, thankfully)

modestmickey, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:53 (twelve years ago) link

I am unable to follow even simple plots in the movies.

It's not your fault! Movies just invariably suck at telling stories!

nabisco, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:55 (twelve years ago) link

Well, it's not too late! ;)

Sara R-C, Friday, 2 March 2007 21:56 (twelve years ago) link

i... own 2 decemberists cd's!

modestmickey, Friday, 2 March 2007 22:04 (twelve years ago) link

See? Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

Sara R-C, Friday, 2 March 2007 22:08 (twelve years ago) link

I am so pessimistic it annoys people, it's easier and seems more rational to imagine futures full of suffering than happiness.

Maria, Saturday, 3 March 2007 18:51 (twelve years ago) link

At least that way you're prepared for the worst.

Laurel, Saturday, 3 March 2007 18:56 (twelve years ago) link

i wish i could sing like geddy lee

rrrobyn, Saturday, 3 March 2007 20:50 (twelve years ago) link

I love deeply questionable Britpop from the '90s: Geneva, Echobelly, the Long Pigs, the Bluetones, Dubstar, etc.

Laurel, Saturday, 3 March 2007 21:18 (twelve years ago) link

i have a few hundred cd singles you might like.. cheap

electricsound, Sunday, 4 March 2007 08:49 (twelve years ago) link

(ps geneva and dubstar are great!!!)

electricsound, Sunday, 4 March 2007 08:49 (twelve years ago) link

I EAT DUST AND I'M ALL RUN DOWN

Eisbär (llamasfur) on Tuesday, 30 December 2003 21:38 (3 years ago)


all right now, just what the HELL was i saying here 3 years ago?!?

Eisbaer, Sunday, 4 March 2007 09:26 (twelve years ago) link

"HI I HAD SOME ACID"?

Trayce, Sunday, 4 March 2007 10:10 (twelve years ago) link

1. I have 12 Alice Cooper CDs
2. I bought some skinny jeans, and think they are okay!
3. I hardly ate any fruit for the first 30 years of my life, but now I like raspberries.

jel --, Sunday, 4 March 2007 11:00 (twelve years ago) link

> I EAT DUST AND I'M ALL RUN DOWN

sounds like Gary Numan, specifically ME from Pleasure Principle (was listening to it this morning as it happens)

koogs, Sunday, 4 March 2007 11:51 (twelve years ago) link

er, Replicas.

koogs, Sunday, 4 March 2007 11:52 (twelve years ago) link

no, was right the first time.

i confess - i get gary numan lps mixed up.

koogs, Sunday, 4 March 2007 11:52 (twelve years ago) link

I drank too much last night and threw up twice today. I still feel sick. And embarrassed that my roommates know.

Maria, Sunday, 4 March 2007 19:05 (twelve years ago) link

six years pass...

Every few minutes or so when I am internet surfing at work I get this bad, guilty "omg I am internet surfing at work!" feeling even though no one in two years has ever given a fuck if I surf the internet at work. Right now, I am only even in the office because I'm waiting for someone to bring back my car (everyone else is gone early for Labor Day Weekend) and I still get the feeling every few minutes.

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Friday, 30 August 2013 19:42 (six years ago) link

five months pass...

Last night I had a rare night out to hang out with some friends in a bar -- it's actually a book club that meets in a bar. My wife and daughter go to sleep early, and although I figured I'd be home by 10pm or so, I decided to stay a little later and have an extra round with a few of the people who stayed. I was a little drunk by the time I walked to the subway. I was also hungry but there was nothing to eat between the bar and the train, and also my phone died on the train, which was my only source of reading material, and it was a long ride home. So I decided to get off the Subway at Broadway-Lafayette, not really remembering what was around there. Well, nothing is around there in terms of purchasing food or reading material late on a Wednesday night, so I just walked for a while, in the freezing cold, until I came to an area with more stuff. I bought a Harpers magazine for the first time in a long time and picked up the Brooklyn Rail. Then I went to one of those shitty Ray's-type pizza places and sat and ate a slice and read, and then went to the nearest subway and made my way home. I got home around 2am, which is pretty late for me these days. It's a very banal story, really, but it felt very strange the way I had the impulse to do this thing and yet the product of my impulse was extremely boring.

Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Thursday, 13 February 2014 21:03 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I've only listened to ≈ 10 jazz albums in my life, and 1 of them is a ~dark jazz~ album.

I moved to a new town/state in June 2013, but I still occasionally check out books and DVDs from my old town's library.

I first read Tolkien at the age of 25.

I didn't really understand how traffic lights worked until about a year ago.

I've never heard an Aerosmith album or an "underrated aerosmith" album in my life.

his eye is on the sbarro (unregistered), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 05:58 (five years ago) link

I stopped going to synagogue the week after I got my Bar Mitzvah. The rabbi stopped me in the street one day, got out of his car, and threatened to take it back off me! Can you revoke a Bar Mitzvah??

to belatedly answer the original poster's question, no one, including your rabbi, can revoke your bar mitzvah. nor can he award you a bar mitzvah. all he can do is lead the service at which your bar mitzvah is publicly acknowledged, which, technically speaking, is all that happens on that day. so if you've been avoiding him, you can stop.

fact checking cuz, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 06:37 (five years ago) link


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