Have You Ever Shit Your Pants?

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So when is someone starting the "Have you ever shit your pants" thread? Its inevitable.

-- Chris V. (f--@yahoo.com), July 11th, 2003.

My answer: No.

Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Saturday, 12 July 2003 02:36 (nineteen years ago) link

New Answers! (I know that we don't have to do this anymore; I just wanted to take the title out of boldface.)

Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Saturday, 12 July 2003 02:40 (nineteen years ago) link

I always like to take the title out of boldface. I have never done this either but the claim of inevitability worries me. .

That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 12 July 2003 02:41 (nineteen years ago) link

no but i remember when this one kid in first grade did. haha.

Maria (Maria), Saturday, 12 July 2003 02:46 (nineteen years ago) link

(I bet that tommorrow night when I next come to ILX, this thread will all be about bluebirds and marshmallows. ILX is funny that way.)

Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Saturday, 12 July 2003 02:47 (nineteen years ago) link

So this one time, I'm eating a marshmallow, and this bluebird flies out of my ass...

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 12 July 2003 02:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Richard Gere goes Audobon Society.

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 12 July 2003 02:55 (nineteen years ago) link

I have never done this either but the claim of inevitability worries me. .

Sam is OTM. I never have either, but...

luna (luna.c), Saturday, 12 July 2003 03:22 (nineteen years ago) link

well now I kinda feel like I have to! Not tonight, though.

luna (luna.c), Saturday, 12 July 2003 03:23 (nineteen years ago) link

as much as a pathetic alcoholic drunkard as I've become in my later years, I can take solace in the fact that I have never done this.

Mr. Diamond (diamond), Saturday, 12 July 2003 03:25 (nineteen years ago) link

well now I kinda feel like I have to! Not tonight, though.

I think he meant the thread was inevitable, not the pants-dumping.

Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Saturday, 12 July 2003 03:44 (nineteen years ago) link

God I hope so.

luna (luna.c), Saturday, 12 July 2003 03:51 (nineteen years ago) link

i think the closest i've come is a rather wet fart when i was suffering from a particularly bad spastic bowel incident

google proof (electricsound), Saturday, 12 July 2003 03:53 (nineteen years ago) link

I see ILX is continuing in the tradition of thread titles that also make great pickup lines.

Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 12 July 2003 05:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I think he meant the thread was inevitable, not the pants-dumping.

We are talking about Chris here, though.

luna (luna.c), Saturday, 12 July 2003 05:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Good call Christine. Still, I worry. . .

That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 12 July 2003 06:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Your all liars. Admit it. Its not like I've made a regular habit out of it. "Hey whats up? Oh pardon me I shit myself." Twice in my life its happened purely by accident. I have an extremely nervous stomach and I always need to use the lav. I once went in Grand Central Station, no, not in my pants.

Chris V. (Chris V), Saturday, 12 July 2003 12:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Bad bowels run in my family.

Chris V. (Chris V), Saturday, 12 July 2003 12:42 (nineteen years ago) link

I had partucularly violent farty diahorrea once when I was about 19. I was just standing in my bedroom and out it came. I put my bozer shorts in a plastic bag and took them to a local litter bin. I can't remember how my trousers survived. I seem to remember it running down my leg but maybe that was another time. Don't wear boxer shorts.

N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 12 July 2003 12:43 (nineteen years ago) link

tell them about the sleep-pissing while you're drunk.

RJG (RJG), Saturday, 12 July 2003 12:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Another time.

N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 12 July 2003 12:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Poops, I totally feel your pain (and your bowels). Your story is my story, which is the sad story of dashing lads (much like you and me) cursed with profligate bellies, destructive appetites, and horrible horrible timing. It is our burden (esp. post-poop, and, boy, talk about the Walk of Shame), yet it is also our responsibility - nay, our DUTY - to share our stories of skidmarks and juicy juice so that people may learn from our misfortune and be heedful of our cautionary tales and the lessons (and seeds) (and tomato skins) contained within.

Urp.

David R. (popshots75`), Saturday, 12 July 2003 13:12 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.viciousgrin.com/images/devi31.jpg

fffv (fffv), Saturday, 12 July 2003 13:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Not yet, unless we count as a baby, in which case the question would be pointless.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 12 July 2003 14:36 (nineteen years ago) link

ah yes the old 'its okay, i'm a baby' excuse has got me out of some tricky scenarios

stevem (blueski), Saturday, 12 July 2003 14:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Breastfeeding, yes?

N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 12 July 2003 14:45 (nineteen years ago) link

damn, i never even thought of that

stevem (blueski), Saturday, 12 July 2003 14:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Thank God.

Stevem's mum (nickdastoor), Saturday, 12 July 2003 14:56 (nineteen years ago) link

c'mon people!! everybody knows what fishscales are!!!

Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Saturday, 12 July 2003 15:28 (nineteen years ago) link

I did once. I was very drunk, it's fair to say.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 12 July 2003 17:04 (nineteen years ago) link

I swear this has never happened and I've never known of it happening to anyone. Am I missing out on an entire subculture of premature Depend wearers?

That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 12 July 2003 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Fuck Depends - going commando is fukcing punk rock.

David R. (popshots75`), Saturday, 12 July 2003 20:23 (nineteen years ago) link

okay, I know a cardboard box is not pants, but one time in college after a tequila bender I was lying in my suddenly-spinning room and I felt really sick and my roommate and all his friends were all crowded in there all talking loud and making fun of me and I asked them politely (if drunkenly) to leave as they were making me sick and they laughed at me and kept talking. Suddenly I felt the call, leapt to my feet, realized that I'd never make it the 20 feet to the bathroom, dropped trou, and tooled one off in a handy cardboard box. I then stumbled nakedly off to the can to clean myself off, to the accompaniment of gales of laughter. (Does anybody remember laughter?)

So no, but only by the skin of my teeth. People remember this, too; I'm not really planning to attend any reunions.

Neudonym, Saturday, 12 July 2003 21:32 (nineteen years ago) link

okay, I know a cardboard box is not pants

Sobriety Test #3 of 8.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 12 July 2003 21:36 (nineteen years ago) link

I shit my pants at age 16 while passed out in a girl's car. She was in the grade below me. I shit you not, she had to sell the car and get a new one. Apparently I had been dared to drink a fifth of whiskey by the older guys. I had to dispose of not only my clothes but my wallet, belt, keychain...

Aaron A., Saturday, 12 July 2003 21:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Once I woke up after a really long drinking binge and the girlfriend was screaming at me as I had apparently taken a shit in the bathtub. I just denied it and got drunk again, and later on vomited into the same bathtub, and the morning after that I had to go to work and decided to run a bath, and I'd forgotten about the vomit and didn't notice until it was all floating on the surface

dave q, Sunday, 13 July 2003 16:18 (nineteen years ago) link

So when we were having a fight about *that*, I said "Well at least I'm not as bad as your friend, whose boyfriend, legend has it, passed out in the bath with the water running, and when your friend noticed water dripping out the ceiling went to check on him and not only found the bathroom flooded but crap floating everywhere as he'd also shit himself and then she had to clean up the whole thing! Heh", and she said "Fuck you"

dave q, Sunday, 13 July 2003 16:22 (nineteen years ago) link

so i hit her

dave q, Sunday, 13 July 2003 16:23 (nineteen years ago) link

This thread is AMAZING.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 13 July 2003 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Ever hear of Irritable bowel syndrome? I'll spare you the details. Suffice it to say it lends new dimensions to the proverb "When you gotta go, you gotta go."

Anne E. (Miss), Sunday, 13 July 2003 16:44 (nineteen years ago) link

I shat my pants aged 5, after I got my first kicking.

I also once shat my pants, aged 23, to amuse a girl.

Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 13 July 2003 21:40 (nineteen years ago) link

so was she amused?

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Sunday, 13 July 2003 21:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Aye, she pissed herself.

Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 13 July 2003 22:09 (nineteen years ago) link

excellent.

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Sunday, 13 July 2003 22:13 (nineteen years ago) link

what a lovely wedding that must've been

stevem (blueski), Sunday, 13 July 2003 23:32 (nineteen years ago) link

Of course. But I usually shit in toilets.

Mr. Mincemeat, Monday, 14 July 2003 04:13 (nineteen years ago) link

meaty, where you the one picking fights not so long ago?

Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Monday, 14 July 2003 04:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Aww come on, let's not fight here of all places, this is the shit in your pants thread!

nickn (nickn), Monday, 14 July 2003 04:32 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't start fights. I finish em. Like breakin' faceswise.

I'm all about making mincemeat outta punks, but I'm basically a regular guy.

I have shit myself! It sucks!

Mr. Mincemeat, Monday, 14 July 2003 04:34 (nineteen years ago) link

And I know for a proven fact that alla yous shit yourselves at sometime. Racin' stripes, skid marks... that's shit in there! Nearly every day actually for me.

Mr. Mincemeat, Monday, 14 July 2003 04:37 (nineteen years ago) link

jayblanchard.xls

electricsound, Thursday, 27 March 2008 05:11 (fourteen years ago) link

Couple of photo finishes maybe but my sphincter is made of steel.

-- Bo Jackson Overdrive, Sunday, December 9, 2007 7:13 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

J0rdan S., Thursday, 27 March 2008 05:46 (fourteen years ago) link

RIP

J0rdan S., Thursday, 27 March 2008 05:46 (fourteen years ago) link

four months pass...

1nce or fore times since i was tewelve, but who r u to judge, only god can judge my anus

Pooping Christ, Thursday, 31 July 2008 05:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Once at Glastonbury, on a combination of magic mushrooms and alcohol. The weather was atrocious that year too - after throwing my boxers away, and cleaning myself up mostly with newspaper, I ambled over to buy some toilet roll, only to be told there would be fifteen minutes wait. I struggled for 2 minutes, then passed out and fell face down into a giant mud puddle. Then I went to see Coldcut.

Another time, in between Xmas and New Year 1997. A friend had invited me over to her flat to get shitfaced. She'd started at 4, I got there at 9 and decided to play catchup, drinking half pints of vodka and JD to do so..the last I remember was her giving me a cup of tea, and then passing out on her bathroom floor. I came round to vomit into her toilet and shat myself at the same time. I left her flat at 4am, with my shitted boxers in a bag, having vomited in every room in her flat.

Mister Craig, Thursday, 31 July 2008 06:15 (fourteen years ago) link

a combination of magic mushrooms and alcohol

Pretty much a sure fire guarantee of some kind of vom/shite/piss related bodily dysfunction.

I am lolling like a maniac reading this thread. Actually it would be ironic if I shat myself from laughing so much...

snoball, Thursday, 31 July 2008 08:35 (fourteen years ago) link

How come most of these stories are of British provenance (near as I can tell)? Are Brits most prone to shitting their pants?

Oh, and for me, bits and pieces here and there but never the whole show since baby times.

P.S. There's some amazing writing on this thread, e.g. "some of those toilets were so traumatizing they turned black and white in my memory within five minutes of leaving them."

P.P.S. Some of the causes are almost as wretch-inducing as the effects, e.g. "after crystal meth and 12 vodka tonics."

Kevin John Bozelka, Thursday, 31 July 2008 09:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Some of the commenters here might consider submitting their contributions to "The Poop Report".

http://www.poopreport.com

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 31 July 2008 09:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Another time, in between Xmas and New Year 1997. A friend had invited me over to her flat to get shitfaced. She'd started at 4, I got there at 9 and decided to play catchup, drinking half pints of vodka and JD to do so..the last I remember was her giving me a cup of tea, and then passing out on her bathroom floor

lightweight

ken c, Thursday, 31 July 2008 12:29 (fourteen years ago) link

maybe he was, but his pants sure weren't.....

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Friday, 1 August 2008 02:52 (fourteen years ago) link

One of my favorites. or

rollerbeef, Friday, 1 August 2008 22:25 (fourteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 2 October 2008 23:13 (thirteen years ago) link

"I'm good twice a year for that."

caek, Friday, 3 October 2008 00:15 (thirteen years ago) link

If I didn't before, I now have a deep love for George Brett.

Bryan, Friday, 3 October 2008 00:17 (thirteen years ago) link

four months pass...

http://www.kongregate.com/games/Rete/dont-shit-your-pants

Tracer Hand, Monday, 23 February 2009 11:26 (thirteen years ago) link

one year passes...

i remember being 11 and having to pelt the john with biscuits but my mom fucking had the sliding glass door shut so I couldn't get in and I dropped a turd right in my pants that was long and slender, like a sausage....

Also just narrowly avoided this last year, but it was still pretty embarassing. had a theatre rehearsal in a hot warehouse and made the mistake of eating greasy Chicken Fries from BK 5 mins prior. My stomach started bubbling and I had to start crumping to avoid releasing my bowels all over the floor.

This warehouse had a bathroom but well it wasn't used very often. I realized that trying to hold it wouldn't work so I finally ran in there and took a humongous shit. fortunately there was toilet paper in there.

but imagine the look of horror on my face when I flushed the toilet and it only made a wee little sound and still retained all of the rancid feces. and did so after a second flush.

Oh and it was a photo shoot that day for the play. Meaning the girls needed to use said bathroom. At the time, my g/f and I had been dating like 2 months. Leaving behind Shaqbombs in the toilet where she'd be changing would have been an instant breakup.

It also took a while to wipe so every 5 minutes the girls in the cast were knocking to taunt me and asked if I was masturbating in there. I started saying I was because that was a preferable alternative.

But after the third flush, teh shit went down the hole. Thank God. The scent may have lingered but my g/f didn't say anything.

Usain Bolt Cola (Cattle Grind), Thursday, 25 March 2010 01:25 (twelve years ago) link

one more failed flush and you would've been picking up poop with TP and depositing it in soda cans in nearby trashcans, you dodged a bullet!

Ted. E. Bear, P.I. (Z S), Thursday, 25 March 2010 02:04 (twelve years ago) link

lol and see i wouldn't have even thought of that at the time so i may have just exited the building running...

Usain Bolt Cola (Cattle Grind), Thursday, 25 March 2010 05:26 (twelve years ago) link

Yes :(

not_goodwin, Thursday, 25 March 2010 23:30 (twelve years ago) link

Yes :)

skogsturducken (am0n), Friday, 26 March 2010 00:01 (twelve years ago) link

sin boldly into the pants

Usain Bolt Cola (Cattle Grind), Friday, 26 March 2010 00:12 (twelve years ago) link

6 cans of stella + a two litre bottle of frosty jacks + a half-bottle of whiskey = shit in my pants.

404s & Heartbreak (jim in glasgow), Friday, 26 March 2010 01:19 (twelve years ago) link

shit my pants in front of a nun who wouldn't give me permission to leave class for the toilet.

Jermaine Jenason (darraghmac), Friday, 26 March 2010 01:21 (twelve years ago) link

wasn't even a defiant gesture, i just had to shit myself. i was let out after, which struck me as a little horse/stable door but anyway.

Jermaine Jenason (darraghmac), Friday, 26 March 2010 01:22 (twelve years ago) link

are you sure you're not stealing that anecdote from a frank mccourt book?

404s & Heartbreak (jim in glasgow), Friday, 26 March 2010 01:24 (twelve years ago) link

no jesus we weren't deprived it was just lol nuns tbh. another who fainted in class was revived by having her head flushed in the jacks. we were poor but we were hungry etc

Jermaine Jenason (darraghmac), Friday, 26 March 2010 01:26 (twelve years ago) link

uh she didn't faint cos i shit myself or anything, but just wanna say if you're growing up on an island with only two primary schools, shitting yourself in front of your classmates does you absolutely no fucking favours from the age 13-college

Jermaine Jenason (darraghmac), Friday, 26 March 2010 01:28 (twelve years ago) link

can't even imagine the nicknames....

Darragcrap
Dookiemac

And as I'm typing this the episode of the cartoon 16 where everybody is puking/has the shits due to poorly refrigerated Chunklets is on....

Usain Bolt Cola (Cattle Grind), Friday, 26 March 2010 01:53 (twelve years ago) link

Once, in the middle of a pub, while paralytic on Guinness.

No, YOU'RE a disgusting savage (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 26 March 2010 06:10 (twelve years ago) link

i didn't mind the nicknames (they never actually materialised) but i didn't have a girlfriend that wasn't a holidayer until i moved

Jermaine Jenason (darraghmac), Friday, 26 March 2010 09:39 (twelve years ago) link

two months pass...

I'm allowed to shit my pants once a year. And that's it. For many years I held true to that pact, until a few years ago I accidentally did it twice. Funny thing is, the incidents were about three weeks apart during the summer. Wearing shorts too. So after that, I decided to go two years without doing it. It was a success. And then this past new year's day, I failed again. Nine hours after after the ball dropped, I let one slip by. My wife doesn't let me forget about that one. Bottom line, never trust a fart folks.

The Marty Funkhouser Dance Machine (van smack), Friday, 18 June 2010 01:39 (twelve years ago) link

nine months pass...

I knew something terrible was going to happen today, just felt it from the first moment I woke up.
It could have been worse, really.

Trip Maker, Thursday, 7 April 2011 17:13 (eleven years ago) link

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my make up
I do a little shart for you

did you notice "you spin me round" was playing in the background? (snoball), Thursday, 7 April 2011 17:14 (eleven years ago) link

And while combing my hair now
you know that my pants are brown, ow
I do a little shart for you

did you notice "you spin me round" was playing in the background? (snoball), Thursday, 7 April 2011 17:15 (eleven years ago) link

two years pass...

ahh the memories

Cindy Mancini can ride my lawnmower anytime (thebingo), Wednesday, 18 September 2013 14:19 (nine years ago) link

two years pass...

was worried I'd join this hall of shame yesterday.

went to go see some friends in a local community theatre show (kid friendly). this theatre is very small, 30 seats or so, and one bathroom only. and I know the owners of it very well.

I got to the theatre 10 minutes prior to showtime and around 5 minutes prior, my bowels began asserting their dominance. Like, it was going to be explosive. At the time, the bathroom was occupied, I'd have no time to use it prior to showtime. so I figured I'd just deal with it.

it was a kid's show so it was only a 30 minute first act, but it was the longest 30 minutes ever. At the beginning, they asked us to stand, so I farted some of it out and thought it was over. 15 minutes later, it was back.

Intermission comes and I feel like omg, I'm not gonna make it. However - again, only one bathroom. and there was no way I was going to hold up the bathroom line by dropping a log that might take 20 minutes to get rid of. so I go outside to see if there are any local businesses I can hit up. Nope, not within walking distance. so I keep walking and fart it out a little more, go back inside.

don't want to leave at this point because I couldn't come back on another night and figured I could hang on for another 30 minutes, after the latest round of farts. so I walk back to my seat, where the theatre owner asks me if I can play a bit role (the Magic Mirror) in Act 2 (short story - the actress who was slated to play the role had a seizure backstage on opening night, so they had been filling it with guests and giving them a script every night since). Ok, cool, I say.

I feel ok for ten minutes or so, and then Snow White shows up on stage and my stomach starts to bubble again. Panicked, I turned to the theatre owner (who was seated behind me) and asked "when is Magic Mirror up?", and he told me....next. fuck. I was *sweating* at this point. But I breathed a little and managed to get to feeling a lil better and they called me up on stage.

I did my bit part for 5 mins and fortunately didn't shit myself on stage, and the distraction actually helped. so I go back to my seat figuring the worst is over, then after the show I can rush home and dumpski to my heart's delight.

But no, the sensation to dump got worse and worse. and one of my friends hadn't done her part yet so I didn't want to frantically run to the bathroom.

well, she did her part, and at that point, I couldn't wait any longer, and basically bolted past the audience into the one-seater bathroom and just destrrrrrrroyed it, but it was a quick dump. managed to do my business and get cleaned up in a tidy 5 minutes.

got back to my seat (one of the rare places that doesn't care about re-entry) - and was just in time for characters on stage to address me in the audience as my character! but now I was feeling fine enough to actually laugh loudly with the audience.

the official story I gave my friends was that I had to "pee very badly". still giggling about how silly last night was.

Neanderthal, Sunday, 8 May 2016 14:51 (six years ago) link

I nearly shit myself this morning!

I had to deposit a check at my bank, about 15 minutes from my house. I was feeling really lazy, so after changing out of my pajamas, i just threw on a pair of khakis and went commando rather than run back upstairs to add underwear to the equation. Stopped off at the dunkin donuts drive-thru to get a large coffee. Made it to the bank and realized the coffee hit my stomach wrong, but it took three tries for the machine to accept my check. Heading home, I didn't want to stop anywhere and shit up some poor store's bathroom. Being Sunday morning, there wasn't much open anyway. I just drove on, hoping for green lights.

Finally made it home and dashed in the door, farting with every footfall as I leapt up the front steps. I wasn't entirely sure at the time that I wasn't shitting my pants, but by the grace of god I was saved. Thankfully the family was still asleep and no one impeded my dash to the john.

how's life, Sunday, 8 May 2016 19:27 (six years ago) link

always kinda excited when this thread is revived

dynamicinterface, Sunday, 8 May 2016 21:55 (six years ago) link

1nce or fore times since i was tewelve, but who r u to judge, only god can judge my anus

― Pooping Christ, Thursday, July 31, 2008 1:06 AM (7 years ago)

small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Sunday, 8 May 2016 22:03 (six years ago) link

I like Neanderthal's story but I'm kinda boggling at the idea that 5 minutes is a "quick dump"

small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Sunday, 8 May 2016 22:04 (six years ago) link

For what my stomach was doing I was feeling like a 20 minute session was on deck. So lucky

Neanderthal, Sunday, 8 May 2016 22:05 (six years ago) link

fair enough. I guess I'm more selfish than you are because I wouldn't have had much compunction about hogging the bathroom for however it took to resolve the issue.

small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Sunday, 8 May 2016 22:08 (six years ago) link

(kid friendly)

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Sunday, 8 May 2016 23:19 (six years ago) link

six years pass...

There's just something about shit-your-pants stories that makes them the funniest things on earth.
― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, December 15, 2003 3:27 AM bookmarkflaglink

I think it's the shit in pants part.
― oops (Oops), Monday, December 15, 2003 3:43 AM bookmarkflaglink

I shared this exchange with my friend and she quotes it incessantly now. 19 years after it was made!

Gymnopédie Pablo (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 25 May 2022 21:14 (four months ago) link

I am struck by how the tenor of this board has changed since the early aughts.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 25 May 2022 21:18 (four months ago) link

-- oops (Oops)

the cat needs to start paying for its own cbd (map), Wednesday, 25 May 2022 21:18 (four months ago) link

three months pass...

From The Athletic:

It was 2001, and the Seahawks played the http://i.imgur.com/QbYzHTH.jpg in D.C. Tobeck felt fine on the flight over and fine that afternoon, but in the evening, his stomach started sounding alarms.

“I guess violent would be the word for it,” he says.

It was so bad that the team quarantined him, moving out roommate Steve Hutchinson. Tobeck didn’t come out of his room, but by Sunday afternoon — and with the help from some medication designed to clog him up — he thought he could play.

“I’ll never forget Holmgren,” Tobeck says. “I walked by Holmgren before the game and he just looked at me, real serious, and said, ‘Tough it out.’”

Backed by those uplifting words from his coach, Tobeck took the field for the first series of the game. He was locked in hand-to-hand combat with Dan Wilkinson, a 340-pound defensive tackle nicknamed Big Daddy.

“I’ve got to deal with the stomach issues, plus I have to deal with Big Daddy,” Tobeck says.

Then, disaster. Shaun Alexander took a handoff and, without anywhere else to go, rammed into Tobeck.

Say Tobeck: “Knocked the wind out of me, knocked everything else out of me.”

Tobeck stayed in the game, but when he finally left the field, he asked the trainers and equipment staff for a new pair of pants. And a bucket.

“I would come off to the sideline and there was a bucket there, and the poor guys had to stand around me with a towel,” he says. “I was shitting in a bucket on the sideline during a game.”

Tobeck, it’s worth pointing out, played center, and at some point during the game, a trainer had the sense to walk over to quarterback Matt Hasselbeck and tell him he might want to stop licking his fingers.

THIS is the kind of sports journalism that I pay quality money for.

i eat ass with a knife and fork (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 21 September 2022 17:39 (one week ago) link

while i am not a sports person i am charmed by the image of quarterbacks licking their fingers during a game. i presume this is to make for a stickier grip? or just because quarterback fingers are delicious?? the quarterback mouth germs must be astonishing. entire new forms or life could be brewing in there. tiny mutant football players spilling out of their mouths. perhaps that is where rugby players come from.

sourselves (cat), Friday, 23 September 2022 16:35 (six days ago) link

Is this the most successful thread I've ever started here, or is it the "unavailable sodas you've known and loved" one? I hope it's the latter.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 23 September 2022 16:50 (six days ago) link

Well, you should look at quality, not quantity. That said, this is your most successful thread

Vinnie, Saturday, 24 September 2022 05:53 (five days ago) link


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