America's Next Top Model

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Wow, the height of American television I daresay. The last episode had Tyra laying into a bible-thumper and she was surprisingly OTM. Plus, the most interesting ones seem poised to win the shebang (so refreshing given that the typical reality tv winners are jerx).

f(Elyse) = self.description("motivated, pretentious and intelligent (a nerdy scholar)") + quotation("Perutz") + music("indie rock")x10 + hair(short, brown)x100 = KRROWR

(I'm in some mood tonight.)

Leee (Leee), Thursday, 3 July 2003 02:59 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I dislike her for the same reasons you like her!

Scaredy cat (Natola), Thursday, 3 July 2003 03:02 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

More of her for me then.

Leee (Leee), Thursday, 3 July 2003 03:09 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

haven't watched but how come the winner has to be white?

Neudonym, Thursday, 3 July 2003 04:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

i like adrianne and her love of her tits. plus she talks funny.

black plastic (black plastic), Thursday, 3 July 2003 14:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Haven't seen the show, but after looking at their pictures I'd have to say Elyse will win. She's got that Shalom Harlow look.

Mandee, Thursday, 3 July 2003 14:54 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

The last sista was the bible thumping misanthrope who literally took herself out of both competitions last night (refusing to mingle with Parisian gents in favor or reading THE BIBLE, and opting out of the (semi-)nude photo shoot because her "body is a temple" & "God blah blah blah Jesus Christ Amen."

Leee (Leee), Thursday, 3 July 2003 23:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I like Adrianne too, that Kimmora has some idiot hang up about being "buff" and having abdominal tone which hello is delicious. Her carriage and her slurring like she's drunk, SHE IS PUNK.

Leee (Leee), Thursday, 3 July 2003 23:11 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

ooh yea, adrianne should win. she wears 9 inch nails t-shirts and dog collars when she's not doing photo shoots. i like that.

stolenbus (stolenbus), Friday, 4 July 2003 00:18 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Elyse will win. And she ought too, as she rules.

Adrianne's pretty and pleasantly irreverant, but she's still pretty damn stupid. I was also turned off by her desire to see Jimbo Mojo Risin's stupid grave.

Robyn's dimissal was sweet justice. She was a bitch and a hypocrite and not even especially attractive. They should kept Kesse a while longer.

I think the big teethy blonde should be smacked with a mallet every time she says "Oh My Word!"

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 4 July 2003 00:23 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

yea the jim morrison's grave thing was kinda dumb, but they had fun together ok!!! actually i think adrianne and elyse should both win because i like them together as a unit. robyn was horrible but i especially hated how they kept calling her plus size model - i mean. seriously. also the toothy blonde should be eliminated immediatly for being so average and boring.

stolenbus (stolenbus), Friday, 4 July 2003 00:43 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Interesting fact: Shalom Harlow went to my highschool. As a result, teen body image problems reached a zenith.

cybele (cybele), Friday, 4 July 2003 01:01 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

So is tonight's the finale?

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 8 July 2003 22:24 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Yes and I'm hoping Adriennne and Elyse lez it up.

Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 8 July 2003 22:35 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

And if you're like me (started watching it late, there's a recap episode right before).

Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 8 July 2003 22:35 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

elyse cut!!

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 00:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Once Elyse was jettisoned, I pretty much lost interest.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:01 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

why did they dismiss her????? because she's too smart? it made no sense to me.

all the same i am glad adrianne won. i liked how she carried elyse everwhere. that was cute.

she's an indie boy! re:trucker hats

http://portfolio.iu.edu/rmatthew/adrianne.jpg

black plastic (black plastic), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:40 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Yes! Indie lives on!

Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 19:44 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

It never died on ILM!

Andrew L (Andrew L), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 19:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I watched this last night. Please shoot me.

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 20:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hey, YOU wanted to move here.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 20:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Was Elyse the athiest indie one who blew her top at the others? I heard about her and she sounded funny. She looks amazing too, if that's her.

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

That's Adrianne, Elyse's pic & bio is the one linked by the Perutz link above. She is funny, there's an interview and pic here.

nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

She is a man called Gary Busey?

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:28 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Tyra should've set up each contestant with a Sacramento King. I think Elyse and Peja would be a choice couple!

Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hey, YOU wanted to move here.

I moved here for the FREEDOM TO CHOOSE.


Or was it burritos and Amoeba?

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:31 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

A friend murdered me w/ Peja in NBA Street vol. 2, so I veto that.

Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:32 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

A friend hooked up with Peja! He took her to his house and said in his creepy accent, "Would you like to lay down with me?"

Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:35 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

nickn - it's definitely Elyse I'm thinking of -

Then Robin strikes! She and Shannon are reading from the Good Book and get to Psalm 14: "The fool has said in his heart there is no God." Having learned that Elyse is atheist, Robin charmingly calls her over to the table. We hear Shannon say "Oh God," because this is going to be trouble. Shannon is very religious but she's certainly not pressing her views on anyone. Robin, however, has no such control and asks Elyse to read this verse. Elyse is totally offended by the second punch Robin throws her way when she says, "It made me think of you."

So Adrianne won?

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:35 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

elyse interview now archived here

jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:36 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

How the hell did Nicole get to the final 9 - she is hideous?!

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:37 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Whateva girl won, she was well well fit.

She was on Regis and Kathy Lee this morning!

*starts polishing rifle*

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:38 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"rifle"

Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:38 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"""

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

.

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:43 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

-- Nordicskillz (t1nym1n...), July 9th, 2003.

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:44 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

We're ruining this insightful and well-intentioned thread.

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:44 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Ain't it great?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

She is a man called Gary Busey?

Damn caching of pages!

nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

That interview makes me love her even more.

Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:54 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Also of amusement was when the producers in post-production would let Tyra re-dub her speeches to the girls -- the change in sound quality stuck out like a ham sandwich in Elsyse's stomach -- good for laffs!

Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

http://www.hoboes.com/html/FireBlade/Movies/RulingClass/Alistair.jpg

Dada, Thursday, 10 July 2003 00:04 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

eleven months pass...
OMG UPN RE-AIRING THIS SEASON OMG

Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Holy christ it's got a weird schedule:

http://www.upn.com/shows/top_model1/images/home_season2b.jpg

Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:43 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
OMG ELYSE DUMPED MARTY!!!!

Picard Maneuver (Leee), Thursday, 1 July 2004 02:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

one year passes...
Don't GET IT TWISTED.

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Thursday, 22 September 2005 14:53 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

What, no one cares about Season 5? The girls aren't really all that good looking this time around anyway.

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Thursday, 22 September 2005 16:18 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Wait, Elyse and Marty aren't together anymore? Why am I the last to hear of this?

jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 22 September 2005 16:24 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

she looked like the lady from Roxette. Blecch! But give her a genuine pixie cut and she could be really cute, if she shuts the hell up.

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 20:40 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Yes, very Roxettesque!

n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 20:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Mussy-short hair hott.
Rosemary's Baby/Mia Farrow hair HOTTTT.

One way or the other, I will be sad when she leaves the show.

Leeeeeeeee (Leee), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 20:46 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

You can catch her in the next pageant though...

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 20:46 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Not with that haircut you won't

Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 20:56 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

whatever! everytime someone points out how pinchy her face is, I pray that they hold on to that thought... and then "you're still in the running to.... blah blah blah" :(

scout (scout), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 20:58 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/tyra-JLH.jpg

"Don't get it twisted, J-Love! (Did I say it right? 'Twisted'?)"

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 20:59 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I don't know about the rest of you, but I like to drink. Check this out, it's funny. HA HA funny.
Taken from my new source for news, PerezHilton dot com
Drink:

- Whenever a girl stumbles on the catwalk.
- Whenever a girl cries.
- Any time J. Alexander wears high heels, dresses in women's clothing (full or partial), teaches the girls how to walk (or threatens that he needs to teach someone something).
- When there is gay talk or some girl-on-girl action.
- Do a shot and rip off your roommate's weave whenever Tyra gets ghetto.
- Do two shots whenever one of the contestants gets wasted.
- Every time Jay Manuel is on the screen, chug your liquor and throw the bottle/glass at the TV!
- Beer bong a beer whenever there's "Tyramail"
- Take a shot everytime TYRA PUTS A PICTURE OF HERSELF BEFORE THE UP-COMING SEGMENT!!!
- Drink whenever Ebony's(why was she picked?!?!?) catch pharse, 'Don't get it twisted.', is said.
- Everytime Tyra turns one girl's experience into a story about her mama, call your mother and drunkenly tell her why you never call her. Then take a shot!
- Drink every time a girl calls her Mom.
- Drink every time Twiggy talks about her career
- Drink every time J Manuel rolls his eyes or acts annoyed at a photo shoot.
- Drink every time the judges say the close up is great but the full body shot sucks
- Take a shot everytime Jay Manual instructs one of the girls to have "intensity behind the eyes" or when he says "you have to believe it otherwise I won't believe it."
- Take a shot everytime the girls are instructed to be "fierce," but you'd die of alcohol poisoning.
- Drink whenever Tyra demonstrates how the girls SHOULD do anything.
- Anytime they say Top Model or America's Next Top Model. Which is a lot due the elimination round.
- Anytime Twiggy says "I like that."
- Take a shot every time Tyra tells the girls..."you're still in the running toward becoming america's next top model."
- Take a shot each time tyra's forehead looks like an oil slick.
- Whenever a girl squeals at a pitch so high your dog begins to look confused.
- Whenever the editing team breaks out the crickets chirping.
- Whenever we hear about a girl's medical problems or problems with her parents.
- Anytime a girl complains about her Tyra-based makeover.
- Whenever the girls get excited over a relatively shitty celebrity (ODB, one of the Williams sisters, former ANTM winners, etc.)
- Everytime one of the girls says some kind of crap about wanting to be a model her whole life or how winning will change her life for the better, etc.
- Take a shot everytime one of the girls decrees that she wants it 'more than anyone'.
- Whenever a fight is started (+1 shot if it's physical).
- Whenever the photographer isn't "connecting" with the model.
- Whenevr the lesbian hooks up (+1 shot if it's with one of the models).
- Whenever the girls travel somewhere.
- Whenever a judge mentions a models "dead eyes".
- Whenever a girl says "i'm do/did/look/am better than her/all the girls.
- Drink any time Tyra says "I see (x amount) of beautiful girls before me".
- Drink any time Tyra says that she's paid her dues, so she can eat cheeseburgers and knows they will airbrush her photos.
- Drink any time any of the judges mention how androgynous Kim's look is.
- Take a shot when they say "COVER GIRL".

scout (scout), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 21:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Why, you'd be drunk in five minutes with this game!

Is anybody else anticipating the hot (ha) lesbian action from the preview for the next episode? Who was it in the hot tub with the androgynous girl?

jergins (jergins), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 21:54 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

Just started watching this cycle.

God, Elyse is so obnoxious. Oh god, all models are so stupid, yet simultaneously, how dare J. misjudge me as stupid!

roxymuzak, Wednesday, 13 February 2008 20:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink

LOL @ "I am not willing to alienate Giselle, because she is the only one in Tokyo with a straightening iron."

roxymuzak, Saturday, 16 February 2008 18:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

This cycle is so ghetto.

roxymuzak, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:01 (eleven years ago) Permalink

this is still my favorite season.

tehresa, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:01 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I've only watched Cycle 8 and this one. I'm finding it weird that they used to ask the models what they think about their photos before commenting themselves.

roxymuzak, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:26 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Aw, I loved Elyse. I also loved Ebony; the face she made at the camera during Robin's sermon...!

HI DERE, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:26 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Right when I was starting to really like Elyse, she said "I have tried to downplay my intellectual superiority, but..."

aspie rube

roxymuzak, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

lol fair enough, but she was on the verge to going to medical school so I can't really fault her for feeling like she was a million times smarter than folks like Robin, blonde Bible girl and Adrienne.

HI DERE, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Ppl who act like being smart is a cross to bear are annoying as fuck! You are in a tv reality show competition (for MODELS), lady. But she was like 18, so who can really fault her too much. She's growing on me anyway.

roxymuzak, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

the best part of all of that is that she did not, in fact, go to medical school and became a model in the end.

tehresa, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:36 (eleven years ago) Permalink

yeah, haw!

roxymuzak, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:38 (eleven years ago) Permalink

and the shins changed her life.

tehresa, Saturday, 16 February 2008 19:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

By "changed her life" do you mean "beat her up"?

Leee, Sunday, 17 February 2008 19:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

obviously.

tehresa, Sunday, 17 February 2008 20:00 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(the resulting livejournal entries were fun)

tehresa, Sunday, 17 February 2008 20:01 (eleven years ago) Permalink

much better tabloid fodder than anything adrian does, at least.

tehresa, Sunday, 17 February 2008 20:01 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I am sad that she has since deleted those entries.

roxymuzak, Tuesday, 19 February 2008 00:20 (eleven years ago) Permalink

four months pass...

ZOMG GUYS.

TOCARRA FROM CYCLE 3 IS IN THE VOGUE ITALIA BLACK ISSUE AND SHE LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING.

The Brainwasher, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 20:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

she has her titties out and everything it's awesome

The Brainwasher, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 20:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

but classy, not like when she had them out in KING magazine

The Brainwasher, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 20:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

not that there's anything wrong with King, it's a fine publication

The Brainwasher, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 20:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

met kahlen from cycle 4 last night (not that i recognized her; it's kinda how she introduced herself). she was talking shit about tyra, which was hilarious. she also mentioned that every year, she sends tyra a christmas card full of dolphin stickers, since tyra is apparently scared to death of dolphins.

there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:24 (nine years ago) Permalink

hahahahahahahahahahahaha that is so fucking awesome

I am over wieght and I have angelical quilities (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

i forgot to post the best part of the exchange!

my boyfriend: you should drop a live dolphin on top of tyra and crush her
kahlen: oh no... i could never do that to a dolphin

there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Friday, 14 August 2009 12:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

Midget Edition starts in a month.

Leee, Saturday, 15 August 2009 03:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

Also, ♥ Kahlen.

Leee, Saturday, 15 August 2009 03:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

wait seriously?
xpost

tehresa, Saturday, 15 August 2009 03:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

seven years pass...

starting from the beginning....

surm, Tuesday, 6 December 2016 18:41 (two years ago) Permalink

still love Adrianne xxx

surm, Tuesday, 6 December 2016 18:48 (two years ago) Permalink

some all-time favourite moments:

Jade's "wonderful, fabulous" Covergirl advert
everyone in Season 10 struggling with the Covergirl advert in a foreign language
Alexandria vs Brittani and Tyra's "I don't want you here but I'm outnumbered so whatever" speech
the autocue challenge that led to Tyra yelling at Tiffany
Cassie refusing a second haircut despite having already had most of it hacked off
Kahlen's grave photoshoot and Keenyah being given "gluttony" as a theme
"what is your name?" "naime" "your name?"
Dionne - "what the fuck is on my baby's head?"
"I just want to let you know that some people have war in their countries"
Angelea, doing anything

this show was the greatest before All Stars. The show doesn't need men, or gimmick themes, or a new host in Rita Ora: it needs to go back to the basics. Find a dozen young pretty women willing to argue on camera for producers, and let them find increasingly creative ways to humiliate them through the medium of photography.

boxedjoy, Wednesday, 7 December 2016 00:25 (two years ago) Permalink

everyone in Season 10 struggling with the Covergirl advert in a foreign language

DOMINIQUE. i can't. rofl.

surm, Monday, 12 December 2016 20:15 (two years ago) Permalink

also agreed with a big fat NO to anyone but Tyra hosting

surm, Monday, 12 December 2016 20:17 (two years ago) Permalink

wait Rita Ora is the new host? how many different ways are they going to try to make her into A Thing?

¶ (DJP), Monday, 12 December 2016 20:19 (two years ago) Permalink

RIGHT

surm, Monday, 12 December 2016 20:21 (two years ago) Permalink

My wife and I watched this last night. They set up a bunch of obvious callback-to-previous-cycles drama (combative trans woman insulting everyone around her, two cast members fall in love) and then promptly didn't put the people fueling it into the top 14, which was kind of hilarious. Also hilarious was Tyra showing up to give a "you must be a brand, like ME" pep talk and then ending it with "my brand is so fly now that I don't even have to be here so PEACE" and Rita Ora acting like she is a household name.

They did get Ashley Stewart on the judging panel, which is cool. Also, all 14 of the finalists actually look like models this cycle, which may be the first time in the show's history.

¶ (DJP), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 19:53 (two years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Ashley Graham is so likeable and fun and seems to be able to offer useful, constructive, critiques. Rita Ora is a mix of useless and irritating: her brand seems to be "I am famous because it was decided I should be famous" and her dilletantism is so apparent. She can't even deliver a NotTyraMail without reading it from a cue card.

The highlight of this season so far is Marissa pouring milk down her couture dress in the name of avant-garde fashion. The constant fighting is so boring and predictable, even if the inferred idea that Courtney threw herself down the stairs was hilarious. I will be shocked if Courtney, Cody and Tatiana aren't the final trio.

boxedjoy, Thursday, 19 January 2017 23:04 (two years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

so the new season has aired a few episodes and it is DEFINITELY a return to form - and by form, I mean, unnecessarily cruel and hilariously so. We've had a girl with alopecia be given a makeover which consisted of binning her wigs. We've had a Trump voter given a terrible dye job - "you voted red, so you get red." We've had a girl quit because she thinks the other girls are sociopaths engaging in deep psychological warfare (her words!) because... they stayed up at night and then wouldn't let her skip the queue for the shower. The photoshoot themes have included one with a prosthetic baby bump where the girls had to fiercely glow.

boxedjoy, Saturday, 3 February 2018 10:36 (one year ago) Permalink

also in a similar vein I can't recommend "Making A Model With Yolanda Hadid" enough. It's basically ANTM for 13-15 year olds, helmed by Bella and Gigi's mother, and the contestants have their own mothers stay with them too. Highlights so far have included Yolanda actively causing confrontation at every possible moment, a girl crying on a gymnastic set being told "it hurts? well... that's fashion", and a mother asking if anyone would like to be her surrogate at some point.

boxedjoy, Saturday, 3 February 2018 10:39 (one year ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Omg I'm so happy to be watching this show again

surm, Monday, 10 June 2019 06:37 (two weeks ago) Permalink

It's just the best isnt it

boxedjoy, Monday, 10 June 2019 12:14 (two weeks ago) Permalink


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