Asparagus appointment

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It's asparagus season and the other day I decided to buy some. As the Guardian Weekend suggested, I laughed in the face of steaming and boiling them and instead coated them in olive oil and put them on a baking tray in a hot (over 200C) oven for 15 minutes. THEY WERE SO NUM. I was just freaking out. The crunchy brown tips quite literally melted in my mouth.

Today asparagus came in at #3 on the top sex foods show on TV. I didn't have sex with anyone, though.

Please, all do this.

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 May 2003 00:42 (eighteen years ago) link

The "Rutabaga Ointment" thread can't be more than a day away.

chester (synkro), Friday, 16 May 2003 00:54 (eighteen years ago) link

That would just be ridiculous.

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 May 2003 00:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, but the best way is to boil them and have them with butter and parmesan. Yum.

Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Friday, 16 May 2003 01:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Have you tried roasting them, Chewshabadoo? I mean you can add parmesan if you want but you don't need to. Seriously, boiling doesn't compare.

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 May 2003 01:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Steaming works for the thin ones.

gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 16 May 2003 01:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I made grilled Asparagus last night, and tonight I'm eating a salad with the leftover asparagus chopped up and tossed in. Bread and cheese. Glass of white wine. Ginger ice cream for dessert.

Asparagus makes my pee smell funny.

Paul in Santa Cruz (Paul in Santa Cruz), Friday, 16 May 2003 02:16 (eighteen years ago) link

asparagus is the best food ever. i think it is impossible to make it bad.

Dan I. (Dan I.), Friday, 16 May 2003 02:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Best thing about living out in farming country: asparagus grows along all the ditchbanks. I can walk around and cut it for, so good. A king of vegetables.

I pronounced it "aspergrass" as a little kid.

Fivvy (Fivvy), Friday, 16 May 2003 02:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I will try this method, sounds great!

That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 16 May 2003 02:41 (eighteen years ago) link

I only ever grill asparagus. Sprinkle them with olive oil, put them on the grill when it is near its peak, about a minute or so on each side. Perfection.

Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 16 May 2003 02:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Mmmm.... Asparagus is great. Favorite thing is to grill them or make asparagus soup, but I'll give this a try.

Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Friday, 16 May 2003 03:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Did anyone see that food program on telly the other night? Christ almighty, I never pictured'em as aphrodisiacs.

nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 16 May 2003 06:19 (eighteen years ago) link

We bought some new season's crop last weekend and I boiled them oh so briefly, put them to one side and made a lemon butter sauce with shallots and some white wine, then at the last minute tossed the asparagus in that and had it all on spaghetti, it was numlicious

chris (chris), Friday, 16 May 2003 07:17 (eighteen years ago) link

do you eat asparagus on their own (say as a starter) or with stuff?

DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 16 May 2003 08:07 (eighteen years ago) link

on their own with Hollandaise is traditional.

chris (chris), Friday, 16 May 2003 08:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Are y'all talking about green or white asparagus? The white stuff is better, but peeling is an annoying necessity.

I boil/steam them in an asparagus pot (tall and skinny, only a little bit of water so the lower stalk gets boiled and the rest steamed) and put a little bit of salt, sugar, butter and lemon or grapefruit juice in the water. Serve 'em with smoked salmon and hollandaise. Yum yum!

Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 16 May 2003 08:35 (eighteen years ago) link

i'll also try this baked asparagus method. i'll get some today and make it this evening. is there anything more to it than the hot oven, olive oil and baking tray for 15 minutes N.?

angela (angela), Friday, 16 May 2003 08:40 (eighteen years ago) link

anna baked some for me last week. they were wrapped in pancetta with some soft cheese inside and were pretty much the best thing ever.

toby (tsg20), Friday, 16 May 2003 08:59 (eighteen years ago) link

does it really make your piss smell of asparagus?

DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 16 May 2003 09:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm on an eat-more*-vegetables kick currently so I'll do this at the weekend too.

*i.e. 'some'

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Friday, 16 May 2003 09:33 (eighteen years ago) link

wrap 'em in fish and bake.

Matt (Matt), Friday, 16 May 2003 09:47 (eighteen years ago) link

I am keen to have asparagus this w/e now! The only problem is, I cannot decide on the 'coated in olive oil & baked in the oven' or to have it 'boiled & with butter & parmesan'. hmm, surely i couldn't have both, could i?

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 16 May 2003 10:45 (eighteen years ago) link

(I thought it was common knowledge that all food shaped like genitalia is an aphrodisiac; bananas, cucumbers, sausage, tacos, clams, oysters, etc)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 May 2003 10:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Wrapping them in ham or bacon is the best thing ever. Put soft cheese inside the wrap and then squirt lemon juice and olive oil all over them and bake them. I know toby's mentioned it, but it's teh only recipie of my own invention other people love.

Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 May 2003 11:09 (eighteen years ago) link

The roasting method is the best thing ever. It must be a perennial guardian article because I learnt to do it form there about 4 years ago. Olive oil lots of salt and a little garlic as well if you like.

I'll try the bacon thing, maybe even tonight if I get back in time to go to the italian shop and get some really thin sliced pancetta, sounds delicious.

Ed (dali), Friday, 16 May 2003 11:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Nick Dastoor - your obsession with the trivial details of life is distracting you from dealing with your very serious psychological hang ups. get a grip man!

asparagus, my arse. it's a glorified leaf.

and the rest of you should not encourage him.

arthur woodlouse (arthur woodlouse), Friday, 16 May 2003 12:20 (eighteen years ago) link

Shut up, beans boy.

As Ed says, Angela - salt them too.

Full (overly exact) method here:,3605,942502,00.html

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 May 2003 12:49 (eighteen years ago) link

can you curry aspargus?

arthur woodlouse (arthur woodlouse), Friday, 16 May 2003 13:44 (eighteen years ago) link

It isn't very heavy.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 May 2003 13:47 (eighteen years ago) link

by the way, my question wasn't meant facetiously... it's an aspect of asparagus I keep seeing mentions of, so I'm curious as to how based in reality it is.

DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 16 May 2003 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link

"Full (overly exact) method here:"

nick dastoor in "overly exact" recognition shocker.

arthur woodlouse (arthur woodlouse), Friday, 16 May 2003 13:49 (eighteen years ago) link

The asparagus-urine-smell thing is actually a genetic trait. Some people have it, some don't. My buddy won the 7th grade science fair for figuring this out. Had everyone and their parents and siblings eat asparagus and then get urine samples.

Colin Saunders (csaunders), Friday, 16 May 2003 17:36 (eighteen years ago) link

What exactly is it supposed to make it smell of? Asparagus? In which case num num.

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 16 May 2003 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Outing yourself as a piss-fiend at age 13: classic or dud?

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 May 2003 17:46 (eighteen years ago) link

It totally makes my piss smell. The amazing thing as well is the rapidity with which this happens. I could finish a plate of asparagus, and use the loo 10 minutes later and the smell is present.

Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 16 May 2003 18:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Mix with olive oil, lemon juice, and garlic salt, wrap in aluminum foil, and put it on the grill for like 8-12 minutes. Fuckinay mang.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 16 May 2003 18:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Baked asparagus can be terrific.

Rockist Scientist, Friday, 16 May 2003 18:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Ooh, another opportunity to mention my favourite greengrocer's apostrophe, seen in Palmers Green or Wood Green (I'm not certain): ASPARAGU'S.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 16 May 2003 20:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Aspragus and Mushroom Frittata
Roasted Asparagus in a Light Vinagrette
Asparagus Soup (hot and cold)
Asparagus Quiche
Asparagus Fingers
Asparagus and Toasted Sesame Salad
Asparagus and Ramen Noodles with Toasted Sesame Seeds and Sesame Oil

I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Saturday, 17 May 2003 01:57 (eighteen years ago) link

This is the best thread title in yonks.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 17 May 2003 17:09 (eighteen years ago) link

See, the thing with roasting asparagus is that although you get a stronger flavour, you lose a lot in the quality of texture - they're too dry basically, taking away one of the main reasons they're so god damn enjoyable to eat.

I think it's about time I started buying more now the season's starting to get going.

Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Sunday, 18 May 2003 01:47 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm happy to report that baked asparagus is a million times nicer than the only other ile recipe i tried, marmite and blue cheese on toast (warning: do not eat this when hungover).

angela (angela), Monday, 19 May 2003 08:32 (eighteen years ago) link

I tried N's and Anna's treatments in a scientific cooking test at the weekend. Anna wins.

(N yours was nice too though.)

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Monday, 19 May 2003 10:07 (eighteen years ago) link

I didn't get round to it due to cravings for saurkraut and bratwurst.

Ed (dali), Monday, 19 May 2003 10:27 (eighteen years ago) link

I tried N's and Anna's treatments in a scientific cooking test at the weekend. Anna wins.


Anna (Anna), Monday, 19 May 2003 18:22 (eighteen years ago) link

i want to make this. i'm craving it and i've never even had it before!

sand.y, Monday, 19 May 2003 18:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm doing this right now. They're in the oven. ILX controls me. I am a puppet and ILX is the puppet-master.

teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link


teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link

my mom bought asaparagus today and i will be making this tomorrow. BUT WILL I BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE EXCITEMENT?

sand.y, Thursday, 29 May 2003 03:11 (eighteen years ago) link


uk asparagus is back! Back!! BACK!!!

i had asparagus soup on saturday and meg had asparagus with fried duck egg (we were at a posh restaurant), then i bought a bunch (pack?) from sainsburys yesterday. i think asparagus a la dast0or this evening...

CarsmileSteve, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:17 (fourteen years ago) link

also pls to notice that the asparagus season appear to be getting a week earlier EVERY YEAR!! that's global warming for you...

CarsmileSteve, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Just steamed and used to dip in baked camembert on saturday, yummy!!!

Vicky, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:44 (fourteen years ago) link

You making me hungry! Dipped in baked camembert... argh, ::drools:: I need to get my oven fixed.

Masonic Boom, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:46 (fourteen years ago) link

that sounds like a good game.

I have just been roasting with yellow tomatoes.

Ed, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:47 (fourteen years ago) link

i got invited to an asparagus party next weekend. what is best to drink with it?

jergïns, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:47 (fourteen years ago) link

What's a "sex food"?

braveclub, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:48 (fourteen years ago) link

what isn't a sex food

jergïns, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Crisp white wine, very cold like a spanish vino turbio or something green and crunchy from the veneto or ice cold vodka.

Ed, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:50 (fourteen years ago) link

ooh cold vodka thanx

jergïns, Monday, 30 April 2007 10:55 (fourteen years ago) link

It always feel like the start of summer when this thread gets revived. You know, days are longer, blossom out, asparagus thread on ILx revived.

Anna, Monday, 30 April 2007 11:00 (fourteen years ago) link

boiled and served with butter, fresh bread and yarg (sp?!) last night. fantastic.

toby, Monday, 30 April 2007 11:45 (fourteen years ago) link

we just aparagus soup, too!

RJG, Monday, 30 April 2007 11:47 (fourteen years ago) link


RJG, Monday, 30 April 2007 13:00 (fourteen years ago) link


G00blar, Monday, 30 April 2007 13:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Yarg = delicious Cornish cheese.

braveclub, Monday, 30 April 2007 13:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Wrapped in nettles!

Masonic Boom, Monday, 30 April 2007 13:07 (fourteen years ago) link

Ah. Alright.

G00blar, Monday, 30 April 2007 13:07 (fourteen years ago) link

I keep reading this as 'Aspergers appointment'.

blueski, Monday, 30 April 2007 13:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Don't forget the asparagus tea!

zaxxon25, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I live close to HUGE AGRICULTURAL AREA now so asparagus has been cheap and plentiful for a couple of weeks now. I love to stir fry it with finely diced chicken, peanuts, shallots, and Thai basil, chili sauce, fish sauce, white pepper, and dried coriander with some lime juice at the end.

But truly roasting in hot oven with olive oil and salt, finished with some lemon or balsamic vinegar is the best possible way. Not to mention easy as hell.

joygoat, Monday, 30 April 2007 17:29 (fourteen years ago) link

My tea: Oven-roasted sparrowguts served with scrambled eggs on a thick slice of home-made bread (chives added to egg to made it less breakfasty). It was all the delicious.

robster, Monday, 30 April 2007 17:56 (fourteen years ago) link

Thanks for the idea, ILX. Dinner was cold poached asparagus with poached eggs and lemon-mustard sauce.

Rock Hardy, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 00:46 (fourteen years ago) link

ten months pass...

It's that time again!!!

Yay 99cents per lb at the market!

Wiggy Woo, Wednesday, 26 March 2008 23:36 (thirteen years ago) link

do you live in australia?

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 27 March 2008 00:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Is Asparagus Spicy

Slumpman, Thursday, 27 March 2008 00:32 (thirteen years ago) link

no, LOL Los Angeles!

It's usually just about this time that it comes WAY down in cost.

Wiggy Woo, Thursday, 27 March 2008 00:48 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Purple Haze asparagus!i have some. the tag on them is all trippy.

carne asada, Sunday, 4 May 2008 20:54 (thirteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

first asparagus a la dastoor of the season last night, still as good as ever!

(yes this is the only reason i've logged in for the first time in about a year, hullo everyone)

CarsmileSteve, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 11:31 (twelve years ago) link

i had my first appointment last night too. pan fried in olive oil with a rocket, black pudding and poached egg salad topped with parmesan. num.

jed_, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 12:29 (twelve years ago) link

We had a big bundle each last night. nom nom nom. Still keeping it real: 5 minutes in boiling salted water with the tips steaming just out of the water, and plenty of butter on top.

Chewshabadoo, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 12:33 (twelve years ago) link

ten months pass...

this may seem ridiculous (in fact, i've asked the gaffer and he agreed that it was), but i saw some english asparagus tips in tesco yesterday, £1.50 for half a dozen from worcestershire somewhere, they were quite thick as well...

...they must be grown hydroponically or something...

CarsmileSteve, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:33 (eleven years ago) link

I am, as usual, stupidly excited for asparagus season.

quincie, Monday, 8 March 2010 14:52 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

I gotta try this toot sweet

Grisly Addams (WmC), Thursday, 27 May 2010 20:59 (eleven years ago) link

i always slather in olive oil kosher salt and pepper and put em on the grill till they get all burnty on the outside

NUDE. MAYNE. (s1ocki), Thursday, 27 May 2010 22:08 (eleven years ago) link

is asparagus, in fact, the king of all vegetables?

i think so although broccoli

CUSE EX MACHINA (jjjusten), Thursday, 27 May 2010 23:05 (eleven years ago) link

you guys, asparagus pesto is A++++; had generous dollops on sauteed tilapia

Grisly Addams (WmC), Thursday, 27 May 2010 23:36 (eleven years ago) link

Asparagus is one of those things that I love because it's expensive or unavailable for a lot of the year, then you get a small window where it's cheap and you get sick of eating it that you need 10 months off until you really want it again. I might have to make pesto with it this weekend.

I think broccoli and asparagus are probably co-kings of the vegetable world. I actually felt kind of sick from eating too much broccoli last week.

joygoat, Thursday, 27 May 2010 23:48 (eleven years ago) link

eleven months pass...

is so right
for un rendez-vous d'asperge

górecki's zygotic mynci (c sharp major), Saturday, 30 April 2011 18:00 (ten years ago) link

one year passes...


Chewshabadoo, Monday, 22 April 2013 18:00 (eight years ago) link

fuck broccoli

call all destroyer, Monday, 22 April 2013 18:23 (eight years ago) link

four years pass...

shameful lack of revive this year



illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 22 June 2017 19:27 (four years ago) link

I am eating asparagus RIGHT NOW

conrad, Thursday, 22 June 2017 19:28 (four years ago) link

I went to Germany about two months ago and have had the word SPARGELZEIT! stuck in my head ever since.

My hotel had an all-asparagus menu.

Wag1 Shree Rajneesh (ShariVari), Thursday, 22 June 2017 21:21 (four years ago) link

and it was Meades that said Germany was all about potatoes.

calzino, Thursday, 22 June 2017 21:26 (four years ago) link

I had asparagus last night and again today! I made hollandaise for the first time and felt so fancy.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 23 June 2017 01:26 (four years ago) link

I went to Germany about two months ago and have had the word SPARGELZEIT! stuck in my head ever since.

My hotel had an all-asparagus menu.

― Wag1 Shree Rajneesh (ShariVari), Thursday, June 22, 2017 5:21 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just did about a week in innsbruck and munich, they really love that fat white asparagus over there.

call all destroyer, Friday, 23 June 2017 01:30 (four years ago) link

Every time I see asparagus in a shop the words "asparagus appointment" come into my mind.

Heavy Doors (jed_), Friday, 23 June 2017 01:33 (four years ago) link

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