Hi! You don't know me! Let's fuck!

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So yes. Sometimes I chat online. And sometimes random people will send me private messages. And often these conversations will go quite badly. And this is the thread where I will post these misbegotten conversations. Hopefully they will make you laugh or cry or wallow in the sadness that is This Online Life!

If you have any similar conversations with online strangers, please post them. But I hope for your sake that you can just live vicariously through me.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 02:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

guy 20 years older than me: nice pic!
me: thanks!
him: so you like pasta, you like older guys too?
me: well, as friends.

Finis!

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 02:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Also please consider this conversation, posted elsewhere: Share your most banal conversations with the world!

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 02:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

pasta = older guys???

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 02:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm telling you, there are plenty of goddamn fish in the sea.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 02:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

I get messages like this everyday! They all include really nice and well formatted pictures with web page URLs and all sorts of fun stuff! Aw, it feels so nice to be physically admired! WOO!

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 02:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Heh. Yeah, but DB, do you get them from actual humans who are trying (and failing) to carry on a conversation with you?

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 02:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

Chris! You're supposed to play along with my joke!

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 03:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

do you guys have profiles entered? i once put something in for a profile and the bots came running. deleted pronto

of course, don't delete yrs if you have one becuz it will fuel our entertainment here ;-)

― ron (ron), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 03:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

I look away for a minute and a whole conversation happened without me!

him: tuning in...
him: bored and saying ni
him: hi
me: hi
> User [him] is not available.

Oh well! You blink, you lose!

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 03:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

The accidental Python reference was his. Point in his favor?

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 03:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

Sean SaturnSF: you like Blondie? I'm not too old for you am i?

― Sean (Sean), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 03:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

Heh. How old are you, Sean?

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 03:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

this ("hi! let's fuck!") used to be the pick-up line of an acquaintance (not friend) of mine. he claimed a 5% success rate with it.

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 04:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

A group of my friends swore by "hi, nice shoes (or boots). Wanna fuck?" as a pickup line. heh heh (wonders if certain such people will be reading this and will dispute its success rate).

They reckon it worked quite well for either gender. But then this is goths we're talking about, so maybe that doesn't count...

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 04:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

oh, I made a profile on IM years ago, and I got one person asking me if I was a senior, and one person telling me they were naked (I said something like "it's a bit chilly for that isn't it?"). I deleted my IM profile after this.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 13:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

I get loads of random PMs on IRC. My nick ('pigtails') doesn't help, especially as there's recently been someone else using the same nick, who usually is in the channel #girlswhosuckcock.

I usually just ignore them. This is the only one I can remember:

him: hi pigtails
him: wanna listen to me jerk off?

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 19:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

I thought this was RM's thread:)

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 20:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

...there's recently been someone else using the same nick

You women, it's all use, use, use! Can't you see us nicks are more than just objects?

― N1ck (nickalicious), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 20:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 20:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

Did I make you mad rosemary? I'm sorry.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 2 April 2003 20:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

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