ILX quoted out of context

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This is the thread where you repost a posting from another thread that--when taken out of the context of its original thread--is either scary, funny, lewd, evil or other!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:47 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Ha. Figures. It's been a dry couple of days, even though I've been rolling up the rim furiously.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), March 31st, 2003.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hey now, Sean. Let him seduce you with his trenchcoat.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 1st, 2003.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 01:03 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I like the idea of this thread, but sadly/happily, I think that most of the threads in their original contexts are likely to be much filthier. In the best possible sense!

― Skottie, Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:46 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I think I get taken out of context for the most innocent remarks anyway! One of the tragedies of my life.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 10:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"Excuse me, but where are the X'O's?"
Elliott Smith to thread!

-- Jody Beth Rosen (edito...), April 1st, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:03 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I can never hear that phrase again without thinking of Patrick Bateman's naked body.

-- Mary (maj23...), April 15th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 01:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Oh no! What are all the chronic wiener eaters going to do?
-- Jodi (jenkyhaypatch...), April 30th, 2003 12:56

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Sean, I don't think they make buns small enough.
-- Nick A. (emmaa...), April 30th, 2003. (later) (Nick A.) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:22 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Ha!

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I fucking the sight of the male body.

-- Calum (ca...), April 30th, 2003.

Best.* Typo. Evah.

*"best" as in "most telling of the things going on in the subconcious of the person what posted it"*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:21 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

It's a Freudian slit, no doubt about it.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:28 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Damn, sorry, Freudian gymslip.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I want = I want someone
-- amateurist (am...), April 29th, 2003.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

god i just want to beat him around the head and neck with my dick until he passes out or it breaks off
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), April 23rd, 2003.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:05 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

jess into turkeyslapping shocka

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:08 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Three beers, p'shaw! At least with grandpa, I actually make it to work tomorrow. =)
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 1st, 2003 10:18 PM.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:24 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

he also wants to fist tony robbins

― minna (minna), Thursday, 1 May 2003 02:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Better than wanting to fist Tony Robinson. Arrrr. "That is clearly dirrrrr-ty!"

― kate, Thursday, 1 May 2003 08:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

your jetset lifestyle is impressive gareth, BUT HOW LONG CAN IT LAST
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), April 29th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

muff?

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 1st, 2003.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

My sister does that 'scratching-and-sniffing' thing and it drives my Dad bonkers.

--Mandee

― buttch (Oops), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

does this mean i need to come clean about my gender?
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 2nd, 2003 10:01 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Could it wait? I was enjoying having you over me.
-- felicity (felicityredwel...), May 2nd, 2003 10:04 AM.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 May 2003 23:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Haha! Best post of thread

― buttch (Oops), Friday, 2 May 2003 03:47 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

It was crying out to be used, I have to say :)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 May 2003 04:21 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"I LIKE COFFEE AND SCOTCH AND SEX! I AM AN ADULT! CAN YOU BUBBLEHEADS PLEASE TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE IN HERE?"
Kenan on the I hate fun thread.

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Friday, 2 May 2003 18:23 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

make that "come to"... fuck. See I can't even control my HANDS here...
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 2nd, 2003 7:14 PM

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Saturday, 3 May 2003 03:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I've never thought of Bernard Sumner's antics as fey.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 28th, 2003. (spencermfi) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 4 May 2003 05:11 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I'm dead at Ypres in 1917 with the rest of you. It's a veritable mentalist holocaust.
-- amateurist (amateuris...), May 5th, 2003. (later) (amateurist) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 5 May 2003 15:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Maybe it's the smoking that's causing a problem. It was fine last night. Today it's throbby and HUGE
--Ally

― buttch (Oops), Monday, 5 May 2003 18:24 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I'd rather eat my sister
- Alix

Um, you're not twins are you, Alix? By any chance?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:40 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

My periods are all over the place. :-(
-- kate (masonicboo...), May 6th, 2003. (later)

(Confession - I took out some of this post to make it more open to misinterpretation)

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"...non vagina teeth..."

-- alix (lixibel...), May 6th, 2003. (alix)

This combination of words will stick with me for quite some time.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

This thread makes me MAD!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 8th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I think I've smelled that rectum before.
-- Curtis Stephens (sevenxvii...), May 16th, 2003 2:36 PM.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 May 2003 16:05 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Sad to say, only Stoppard has ever really gripped me in the theatre.
-- Alan (AlanTrewarth...), May 20th, 2003. (later)

― NA. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:47 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

The Real Ghostbusters are Nazi's.

-- Pete (pb1...), May 20th, 2003 6:11 AM. (Pete) (later)

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 17:46 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I got erection.
-- Ally (mlescau...), May 20th, 2003. (mlescaut) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had a hand full of that. What did I do with it? I did it clean.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 20th, 2003. (vassifer) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 20:18 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Every time I get an erection, the front seam of my pants violently explodes, revealing my throbbing manhood. It's really embarrassing.
-- Kenan Hebert (khebert...), May 21st, 2003. (later)

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 17:55 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

there was context to that??

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:03 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Yeah, in context it's perfectly appropriate.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:59 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

It's so salty and warm...
-- jm (jimmythemo...), May 22nd, 2003. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 22 May 2003 17:43 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I hope you can see this...because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

-- Jordan (jordancohe...), May 23rd, 2003.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 23 May 2003 16:32 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

If I ever get intimate with any of you, please bite me.

-- Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (christineindig...), May 26th, 2003.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 26 May 2003 00:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"...you want a blow job from me, ok? ..."

-- Ally (mlescau...), May 26th, 2003 1:12 PM. (later)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Oi!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:22 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

heh

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

(reading this thread while listening to The Russian Patriarchate Choir sing 'Hymn To The Mother Of God' was a minor miracle of a multi-media experience - in a word, ILXuriant)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 26 May 2003 21:24 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

(said to Ned on the Fred Durst thread)(hey!)

Here, let me turn on the vacuum cleaner and let you pretend it's Kevin Shields...whhiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonym...), May 27th, 2003 12:31 PM

Am I the only one to whom this sounds dirty?

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:27 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

yet, at least text wise, that's the clean version, i believe.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:34 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Skipping 1056 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i always wear pants and it's covered up, but the inside of my pants knows what's up.

― nomar, Wednesday, June 7, 2017 3:36 PM (fourteen minutes ago)

― a warm bowl of soap (WilliamC), Wednesday, 7 June 2017 20:51 (one year ago) Permalink

sounds like a DJ Quik couplet

― Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Thursday, 8 June 2017 04:21 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

gonna spend all day tomorrow throwing buckets of mayo at people

― ciderpress, Saturday, August 5, 2017 12:49 AM (eleven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― El Tomboto, Saturday, 5 August 2017 15:56 (one year ago) Permalink

Photobuckets, same

― jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Saturday, 5 August 2017 19:19 (one year ago) Permalink

I think if you can get that resolution to create a recognizable anus then there is no need to increase it.
― Evan, Monday, August 14, 2017

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 14 August 2017 18:07 (one year ago) Permalink

Vagina is a non effort.
― jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 August 2017 14:10 (forty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― for sale: clown shoes, never worn (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 16 August 2017 14:53 (one year ago) Permalink

Left myself wide open tbf

― jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 August 2017 15:15 (one year ago) Permalink

If you can spread the crack, a tooth pick is good for getting your glue down in the separation.

...
― earlnash, Sunday, August 27, 2017

― El Tomboto, Monday, 28 August 2017 00:01 (one year ago) Permalink

the bottom's where all the good chewy goodness is
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 27 August 2017 21:10 (three days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― frankfurters take on new glamour in this gleaming aspic (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 30 August 2017 16:22 (one year ago) Permalink

lol i cant even remember the context

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 30 August 2017 16:55 (one year ago) Permalink

good news is that it looks like jose is going to end up just dying slowly while chilling out in the atlantic!

― Karl Malone, Sunday, 10 September 2017 03:25 (thirteen seconds ago) Permalink

― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Sunday, 10 September 2017 03:25 (one year ago) Permalink

sarah mclachlan is extremely cool imo

― ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Wednesday, September 13, 2017 2:01 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I still like the My Dick album

― more Allegro-like (Turrican), Wednesday, September 13, 2017 2:02 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Scott Staph (Old Lunch), Thursday, 14 September 2017 10:20 (one year ago) Permalink

Space porn requires patience.

― Special Egyptian Guest Star (Sanpaku), Saturday, September 16, 2017 1:25 AM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― El Tomboto, Sunday, 17 September 2017 18:31 (one year ago) Permalink

*Axl Rose whistle*

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 September 2017 02:49 (one year ago) Permalink

Squash my ass.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 29 September 2017 16:01 (seven seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Mr. Eulon Mask, urging the UN to ban the "homicide robot" (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 29 September 2017 16:02 (one year ago) Permalink

https://media.tenor.com/images/175f14bf0f9aa79864d6e603680799e2/tenor.gif

― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 29 September 2017 16:07 (one year ago) Permalink

aww, lookit that li'l scamp

― Mr. Eulon Mask, urging the UN to ban the "homicide robot" (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 29 September 2017 16:11 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

If they do it with Bradley Walsh every week I'm all in.

― nashwan, Thursday, November 9, 2017 3:45 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Thursday, 9 November 2017 21:00 (one year ago) Permalink

such an impressive asshole ;_;
― imago, Thursday, 9 November 2017 18:28 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― drinkmaster sealcup at yr service (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 November 2017 21:18 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Whitney do you know any schooltechers

― brimstead, Thursday, 14 December 2017 19:35 (twenty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― sonnet by a wite kid, "On Æolian Grief" (wins), Thursday, 14 December 2017 19:59 (eleven months ago) Permalink

keep your friends close, and lick your enemy's butthole

― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, December 21, 2017 5:43 PM

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 21 December 2017 19:28 (ten months ago) Permalink

not sure the context would have helped much tbf

― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 21 December 2017 21:17 (ten months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

*high*

― daavid, Thursday, January 25, 2018 10:53 AM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― (the blues version in his Broadway show) (crüt), Thursday, 25 January 2018 15:58 (nine months ago) Permalink

lol @ wales

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 26 January 2018 16:39 (twenty-six seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― i,CloudiOS (darraghmac), Friday, 26 January 2018 16:40 (nine months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

I do have that nasty oozing rash all over my ass...
― VegemiteGrrrl, Friday, January 23, 2009 10:47 PM (nine years ago)

― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 10 February 2018 04:52 (nine months ago) Permalink

O_o

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 February 2018 04:55 (nine months ago) Permalink

When I saw that I couldn't resist.

― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:05 (nine months ago) Permalink

out of context and out of decade too

― Hi diddley dee, hen fapper's life for me (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:06 (nine months ago) Permalink

A brief perusal of old Ask A Drunk threads would no doubt yield a cornucopia of context-free quotes useful for VG's revenge, should she wish such.

― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:27 (nine months ago) Permalink

i feel v attacked lol

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:37 (nine months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

'GREAT ASS' wins.
― That one guy that quit, Sunday, 8 April 2007 18:01 (ten years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― things you looked shockingly old when you wore (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 March 2018 09:43 (eight months ago) Permalink

😌

― scotti pruitti (wins), Thursday, 8 March 2018 10:35 (eight months ago) Permalink

cock to one side

― flamboyant goon tie included, Thursday, March 8, 2018 2:40 PM (twenty-one seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― F# A# (∞), Thursday, 8 March 2018 22:44 (eight months ago) Permalink

Take that to the male fashion thread.

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Thursday, 8 March 2018 22:45 (eight months ago) Permalink

its ok he was dressing up not dressing download

― things you looked shockingly old when you wore (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 March 2018 22:46 (eight months ago) Permalink

there are a WHOLE lotta Micks.

― scott seward, Thursday, 8 March 2018 17:08 (six hours ago) Permalink

― sleepingbag, Thursday, 8 March 2018 23:13 (eight months ago) Permalink

If there’s one thing we don’t have time for it’s embouchures and finger holes

― valorous wokelord (silby), Thursday, 15 March 2018 15:20 (twelve minutes ago) Permalink

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Thursday, 15 March 2018 15:33 (eight months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

"Loneliness" isn't the game i'm thinking of, it turns out

― songs by bands by Sondheim (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, April 24, 2018 7:25 PM (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 17:36 (six months ago) Permalink

:D :/ :D

― songs by bands by Sondheim (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 17:39 (six months ago) Permalink

;_;

( ;-) )

― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 17:43 (six months ago) Permalink

this week i'm on a rollercoaster too stupid/boring for even me to post about it

― songs by bands by Sondheim (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 17:45 (six months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

It's in there, it's just very small.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, May 16, 2018 7:03 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 17 May 2018 01:27 (five months ago) Permalink

Lol

― albvivertine, Thursday, 17 May 2018 01:50 (five months ago) Permalink

flappy bird wrote this on thread Things You Just Don't Care About on board I Love Everything on 24-May-2018

me too

― Elonio Grimesci (wins), Thursday, 24 May 2018 16:36 (five months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

the wc is the prism through which the whole of humankind can and indeed must be understood

― ogmor, Sunday, June 10, 2018 10:01 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― F# A# (∞), Sunday, 10 June 2018 18:50 (five months ago) Permalink

i definitely say "yessed out" a lot

― flappy bird, Sunday, 10 June 2018 20:31 (five months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

jesus christ posts you had second and third and fourth thought about posting to 'ilx quoted out of context'

― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Monday, 13 August 2018 20:22 (three months ago) Permalink

I think i have historically had at least five whenever i checked in

― Trϵϵship, Friday, August 17, 2018 2:40 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 17 August 2018 21:42 (two months ago) Permalink

i found a frog to eternally tongue fuck me within 20 seconds of starting

― Karl Malone, Thursday, August 23, 2018 10:40 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Nhex, Friday, 24 August 2018 02:50 (two months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

i was absolutely horrified to find myself touched

― lie back and think of englund (darraghmac), Monday, October 29, 2018 4:29 PM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― F# A# (∞), Monday, 29 October 2018 23:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

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