ILX quoted out of context

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This is the thread where you repost a posting from another thread that--when taken out of the context of its original thread--is either scary, funny, lewd, evil or other!

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Ha. Figures. It's been a dry couple of days, even though I've been rolling up the rim furiously.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), March 31st, 2003.

Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Hey now, Sean. Let him seduce you with his trenchcoat.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 1st, 2003.

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 01:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I like the idea of this thread, but sadly/happily, I think that most of the threads in their original contexts are likely to be much filthier. In the best possible sense!

Skottie, Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I think I get taken out of context for the most innocent remarks anyway! One of the tragedies of my life.

ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 10:58 (seventeen years ago) link

"Excuse me, but where are the X'O's?"
Elliott Smith to thread!

-- Jody Beth Rosen (edito...), April 1st, 2003. (later)

felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I can never hear that phrase again without thinking of Patrick Bateman's naked body.

-- Mary (maj23...), April 15th, 2003. (later)

felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 01:39 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...
Oh no! What are all the chronic wiener eaters going to do?
-- Jodi (jenkyhaypatch...), April 30th, 2003 12:56

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:19 (sixteen years ago) link

Sean, I don't think they make buns small enough.
-- Nick A. (emmaa...), April 30th, 2003. (later) (Nick A.) (link)

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:22 (sixteen years ago) link


Nick A. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:29 (sixteen years ago) link

I fucking the sight of the male body.

-- Calum (ca...), April 30th, 2003.

Best.* Typo. Evah.

*"best" as in "most telling of the things going on in the subconcious of the person what posted it"*

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:21 (sixteen years ago) link

It's a Freudian slit, no doubt about it.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Damn, sorry, Freudian gymslip.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:29 (sixteen years ago) link

I want = I want someone
-- amateurist (am...), April 29th, 2003.

Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:16 (sixteen years ago) link

god i just want to beat him around the head and neck with my dick until he passes out or it breaks off
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), April 23rd, 2003.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:05 (sixteen years ago) link

jess into turkeyslapping shocka

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:08 (sixteen years ago) link

Three beers, p'shaw! At least with grandpa, I actually make it to work tomorrow. =)
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 1st, 2003 10:18 PM.

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:24 (sixteen years ago) link

he also wants to fist tony robbins

minna (minna), Thursday, 1 May 2003 02:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Better than wanting to fist Tony Robinson. Arrrr. "That is clearly dirrrrr-ty!"

kate, Thursday, 1 May 2003 08:16 (sixteen years ago) link

your jetset lifestyle is impressive gareth, BUT HOW LONG CAN IT LAST
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), April 29th, 2003. (later)

felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:49 (sixteen years ago) link


-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 1st, 2003.

ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:13 (sixteen years ago) link

My sister does that 'scratching-and-sniffing' thing and it drives my Dad bonkers.


buttch (Oops), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:15 (sixteen years ago) link

does this mean i need to come clean about my gender?
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 2nd, 2003 10:01 AM.


Could it wait? I was enjoying having you over me.
-- felicity (felicityredwel...), May 2nd, 2003 10:04 AM.

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 May 2003 23:42 (sixteen years ago) link

Haha! Best post of thread

buttch (Oops), Friday, 2 May 2003 03:47 (sixteen years ago) link

It was crying out to be used, I have to say :)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 May 2003 04:21 (sixteen years ago) link

Kenan on the I hate fun thread.

Sarah Mclusky (coco), Friday, 2 May 2003 18:23 (sixteen years ago) link

make that "come to"... fuck. See I can't even control my HANDS here...
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 2nd, 2003 7:14 PM

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Saturday, 3 May 2003 03:25 (sixteen years ago) link

I've never thought of Bernard Sumner's antics as fey.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 28th, 2003. (spencermfi) (link)

Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 4 May 2003 05:11 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm dead at Ypres in 1917 with the rest of you. It's a veritable mentalist holocaust.
-- amateurist (amateuris...), May 5th, 2003. (later) (amateurist) (link)

Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 5 May 2003 15:15 (sixteen years ago) link

Maybe it's the smoking that's causing a problem. It was fine last night. Today it's throbby and HUGE

buttch (Oops), Monday, 5 May 2003 18:24 (sixteen years ago) link

I'd rather eat my sister
- Alix

Um, you're not twins are you, Alix? By any chance?

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:40 (sixteen years ago) link

My periods are all over the place. :-(
-- kate (masonicboo...), May 6th, 2003. (later)

(Confession - I took out some of this post to make it more open to misinterpretation)

Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:45 (sixteen years ago) link

"...non vagina teeth..."

-- alix (lixibel...), May 6th, 2003. (alix)

This combination of words will stick with me for quite some time.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:49 (sixteen years ago) link

This thread makes me MAD!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 8th, 2003. (later)

felicity (felicity), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:58 (sixteen years ago) link

I think I've smelled that rectum before.
-- Curtis Stephens (sevenxvii...), May 16th, 2003 2:36 PM.

Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 May 2003 16:05 (sixteen years ago) link

Sad to say, only Stoppard has ever really gripped me in the theatre.
-- Alan (AlanTrewarth...), May 20th, 2003. (later)

NA. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:47 (sixteen years ago) link

The Real Ghostbusters are Nazi's.

-- Pete (pb1...), May 20th, 2003 6:11 AM. (Pete) (later)

slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 17:46 (sixteen years ago) link

I got erection.
-- Ally (mlescau...), May 20th, 2003. (mlescaut) (later) (link)


I had a hand full of that. What did I do with it? I did it clean.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 20th, 2003. (vassifer) (later) (link)

Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 20:18 (sixteen years ago) link

Every time I get an erection, the front seam of my pants violently explodes, revealing my throbbing manhood. It's really embarrassing.
-- Kenan Hebert (khebert...), May 21st, 2003. (later)

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 17:55 (sixteen years ago) link

there was context to that??

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:03 (sixteen years ago) link

Yeah, in context it's perfectly appropriate.

Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:59 (sixteen years ago) link

It's so salty and warm...
-- jm (jimmythemo...), May 22nd, 2003. (later)

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 22 May 2003 17:43 (sixteen years ago) link

I hope you can see this...because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

-- Jordan (jordancohe...), May 23rd, 2003.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 23 May 2003 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

If I ever get intimate with any of you, please bite me.

-- Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (christineindig...), May 26th, 2003.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 26 May 2003 00:13 (sixteen years ago) link

" want a blow job from me, ok? ..."

-- Ally (mlescau...), May 26th, 2003 1:12 PM. (later)

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:15 (sixteen years ago) link


Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:22 (sixteen years ago) link


electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:42 (sixteen years ago) link

(reading this thread while listening to The Russian Patriarchate Choir sing 'Hymn To The Mother Of God' was a minor miracle of a multi-media experience - in a word, ILXuriant)

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 26 May 2003 21:24 (sixteen years ago) link

(said to Ned on the Fred Durst thread)(hey!)

Here, let me turn on the vacuum cleaner and let you pretend it's Kevin Shields...whhiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonym...), May 27th, 2003 12:31 PM

Am I the only one to whom this sounds dirty?

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:27 (sixteen years ago) link

yet, at least text wise, that's the clean version, i believe.

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:34 (sixteen years ago) link


flopson, Wednesday, 27 February 2019 17:22 (one year ago) link

right. under socialism, there wouldn't really be a concept of own's "own" urine anyway.

― Trϵϵship, Monday, February 11, 2019 10:42 PM (two weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

flappy bird, Wednesday, 27 February 2019 18:11 (one year ago) link

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 27 February 2019 18:12 (one year ago) link

perhaps, i like me some OG ham with a gold-hearted prostitute

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, February 28, 2019 9:57 PM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

affects breves telnet (Gummy Gummy), Thursday, 28 February 2019 22:07 (one year ago) link

xpost pvmic

moose; squirrel (silby), Thursday, 28 February 2019 22:10 (one year ago) link

I do feel guilty if it clears before it turns green!

― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 11 March 2019 13:13 (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Vangelis of Dating (Tom D.), Monday, 11 March 2019 13:21 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

I got no hits with "piss"

― recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, April 18, 2019 1:49 PM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

try "urine" for a surprise hit

― Simon H., Thursday, April 18, 2019 1:51 PM (fifty-two seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Joan Lunden just stole your laptop and I didn't even try to stop her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 18 April 2019 18:53 (eleven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

It's less work than actually doing the crazy ass things.

― Yerac, Friday, May 3, 2019 3:31 PM (one minute ago)

mookieproof, Friday, 3 May 2019 19:34 (eleven months ago) link

I'm still waiting on a big work dump that is 2 weeks late at this point.

― WmC, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:13 (thirty-six minutes ago)

Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 14:50 (ten months ago) link

three months pass...

All my life, I wanted to be an Irishman

― FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 23:15 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Boulez, vous couchez avec moi? (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 07:37 (seven months ago) link

impeccable screen-name / content synergy there

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 08:22 (seven months ago) link

two months pass...

I like Hanson.

― Josh in Chicago

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Sunday, 3 November 2019 13:53 (five months ago) link

Enemas: made of waterlogged tubes, unleashing waves of topaz-coloured effluent. Sounds like Lib Dems to me.

― santa clause four (suzy), Thursday, November 14, 2019 12:41 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Well now wait a sec. You pour milk in then you need to check whether it's the correct shade otherwise you leave it for a bit longer then yes you take it out at some point.

― xyzzzz__, Thursday, November 14, 2019 12:41 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

YouGov to see it (wins), Thursday, 14 November 2019 19:23 (four months ago) link


imago, Thursday, 14 November 2019 19:24 (four months ago) link


Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 14 November 2019 19:27 (four months ago) link

saw this too late and have a bad case of milk ass

Suggest Banshee (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 14 November 2019 20:55 (four months ago) link

good ol DP

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, November 25, 2019 9:33 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

cheese canopy (map), Monday, 25 November 2019 23:13 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

Anne Frank, what a hipster huh

― rudolph the LED-nosed reindeer (unregistered), Monday, 28 December 2009 20:10 (ten years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Saturday, 4 January 2020 01:43 (two months ago) link

kinda true tbh..

flappy bird, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 05:48 (two months ago) link

tbf Victor Klemperer was keeping a much more academic and nuanced journal on nazi oppression long before that young hipster came along .. fp'ing myself

calzino, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 09:40 (two months ago) link

fap on 6th Feb for those who want to.

― xyzzzz__, Friday, January 24, 2020 5:32 AM

pomenitul, Friday, 24 January 2020 11:12 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

i'm just always glad to see people bashing it.

― ooga booga-ing for the bourgeoisie (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 11 February 2020 19:51 (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Homegrown Georgia speedster Ladd McConkey (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 11 February 2020 20:01 (one month ago) link

At the very least I'd love a physical release
― bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Friday, February 14, 2020 5:11 PM

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 14 February 2020 17:16 (one month ago) link


BSC Joan Baez (darraghmac), Friday, 14 February 2020 17:23 (one month ago) link

Tis the season

babby bitter (Noodle Vague), Friday, 14 February 2020 17:24 (one month ago) link

Is that from the babby thread?

romanesque architect (pomenitul), Friday, 14 February 2020 17:24 (one month ago) link

the television poll actually

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 14 February 2020 18:28 (one month ago) link

oh wait i c what u did there

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 14 February 2020 18:28 (one month ago) link

all that travolta sperm? it's travolta's fault. But the one sperm that wins the race in the beginning of look who's talking? travolta can't be liable. that sperm had its own ideas.

― latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, February 14, 2020 1:49 PM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

romanesque architect (pomenitul), Friday, 14 February 2020 18:54 (one month ago) link

ah go on do me next

― imago, Saturday, February 15, 2020 11:52 AM bookmarkflaglink

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Saturday, 15 February 2020 16:55 (one month ago) link

pvmic more like

Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Saturday, 15 February 2020 17:26 (one month ago) link

three weeks pass...

how much winking am I supposed to tolerate from this asshole

― college bong rip guy (silby), Sunday, 8 March 2020 00:20 (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

BSC Joan Baez (darraghmac), Sunday, 8 March 2020 00:44 (three weeks ago) link

yeah yeah yeah

college bong rip guy (silby), Sunday, 8 March 2020 00:48 (three weeks ago) link

Ha oh God I have a feeling I’m about to go down the best kind of hole . . .

― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, March 10, 2020 5:59 PM (four hours ago)

mookieproof, Wednesday, 11 March 2020 02:17 (three weeks ago) link

it was not particularly unpleasant. they just need to go slow and have a clear understanding of and feeling for the physical space they are probing.

― A is for (Aimless), 23. marts 2020 02:47 (eleven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Frederik B, Monday, 23 March 2020 13:26 (one week ago) link

My region, to be frank. It's all hairballs here.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 09:20 (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 09:29 (one week ago) link

Sneaky 77 leak but I'll green light it because it's true in p much every context tbf

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 09:31 (one week ago) link

smdh check the new ilx constitution, emergency powers all 77 content is to be redistributed as required for the good of all in these times

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 09:32 (one week ago) link

Look I'd ask Rhonda to confirm that but last I heard she was stock piling xls sheets and loo rolls.

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 09:34 (one week ago) link

I am pleased with my two appearances itt

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 09:36 (one week ago) link

lool pigs making an example of that burnt processed pork by using deadly force against a bbq!

― calzino, Wednesday, March 25, 2020 12:56 PM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:17 (one week ago) link

I know somewhere you can get yeast

― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, March 25, 2020 2:38 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:41 (one week ago) link

that was literally the context tho

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:46 (one week ago) link

also probably shouldn't have done it post-dump, pre-wipe

― narcissistic sleighride (Neanderthal), Sunday, March 29, 2020

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 29 March 2020 19:50 (five days ago) link

doesn't really read differently in context in this case

silby, Sunday, 29 March 2020 21:28 (five days ago) link

lol was gonna say

narcissistic sleighride (Neanderthal), Sunday, 29 March 2020 21:42 (five days ago) link

if anywhere, posts very much in character was the spot for it really

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 March 2020 21:51 (five days ago) link

i stand corrected

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 29 March 2020 22:35 (five days ago) link

What a fun cultural exchange this is.

― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, April 1, 2020 3:36 PM (one minute ago)

coco vide (pomenitul), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 19:40 (two days ago) link

Tbc I'm with Alphie on this one.

coco vide (pomenitul), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 19:41 (two days ago) link

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