ILX quoted out of context

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This is the thread where you repost a posting from another thread that--when taken out of the context of its original thread--is either scary, funny, lewd, evil or other!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:47 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Ha. Figures. It's been a dry couple of days, even though I've been rolling up the rim furiously.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), March 31st, 2003.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:51 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Hey now, Sean. Let him seduce you with his trenchcoat.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 1st, 2003.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 01:03 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I like the idea of this thread, but sadly/happily, I think that most of the threads in their original contexts are likely to be much filthier. In the best possible sense!

― Skottie, Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:46 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I think I get taken out of context for the most innocent remarks anyway! One of the tragedies of my life.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 10:58 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

"Excuse me, but where are the X'O's?"
Elliott Smith to thread!

-- Jody Beth Rosen (edito...), April 1st, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:03 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I can never hear that phrase again without thinking of Patrick Bateman's naked body.

-- Mary (maj23...), April 15th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 01:39 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Oh no! What are all the chronic wiener eaters going to do?
-- Jodi (jenkyhaypatch...), April 30th, 2003 12:56

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:19 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Sean, I don't think they make buns small enough.
-- Nick A. (emmaa...), April 30th, 2003. (later) (Nick A.) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:22 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Ha!

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:29 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I fucking the sight of the male body.

-- Calum (ca...), April 30th, 2003.

Best.* Typo. Evah.

*"best" as in "most telling of the things going on in the subconcious of the person what posted it"*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:21 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

It's a Freudian slit, no doubt about it.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:28 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Damn, sorry, Freudian gymslip.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:29 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I want = I want someone
-- amateurist (am...), April 29th, 2003.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:16 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

god i just want to beat him around the head and neck with my dick until he passes out or it breaks off
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), April 23rd, 2003.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:05 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

jess into turkeyslapping shocka

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:08 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Three beers, p'shaw! At least with grandpa, I actually make it to work tomorrow. =)
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 1st, 2003 10:18 PM.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:24 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

he also wants to fist tony robbins

― minna (minna), Thursday, 1 May 2003 02:51 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Better than wanting to fist Tony Robinson. Arrrr. "That is clearly dirrrrr-ty!"

― kate, Thursday, 1 May 2003 08:16 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

your jetset lifestyle is impressive gareth, BUT HOW LONG CAN IT LAST
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), April 29th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:49 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

muff?

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 1st, 2003.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:13 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

My sister does that 'scratching-and-sniffing' thing and it drives my Dad bonkers.

--Mandee

― buttch (Oops), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:15 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

does this mean i need to come clean about my gender?
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 2nd, 2003 10:01 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Could it wait? I was enjoying having you over me.
-- felicity (felicityredwel...), May 2nd, 2003 10:04 AM.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 May 2003 23:42 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Haha! Best post of thread

― buttch (Oops), Friday, 2 May 2003 03:47 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

It was crying out to be used, I have to say :)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 May 2003 04:21 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

"I LIKE COFFEE AND SCOTCH AND SEX! I AM AN ADULT! CAN YOU BUBBLEHEADS PLEASE TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE IN HERE?"
Kenan on the I hate fun thread.

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Friday, 2 May 2003 18:23 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

make that "come to"... fuck. See I can't even control my HANDS here...
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 2nd, 2003 7:14 PM

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Saturday, 3 May 2003 03:25 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I've never thought of Bernard Sumner's antics as fey.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 28th, 2003. (spencermfi) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 4 May 2003 05:11 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I'm dead at Ypres in 1917 with the rest of you. It's a veritable mentalist holocaust.
-- amateurist (amateuris...), May 5th, 2003. (later) (amateurist) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 5 May 2003 15:15 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Maybe it's the smoking that's causing a problem. It was fine last night. Today it's throbby and HUGE
--Ally

― buttch (Oops), Monday, 5 May 2003 18:24 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I'd rather eat my sister
- Alix

Um, you're not twins are you, Alix? By any chance?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:40 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

My periods are all over the place. :-(
-- kate (masonicboo...), May 6th, 2003. (later)

(Confession - I took out some of this post to make it more open to misinterpretation)

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:45 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

"...non vagina teeth..."

-- alix (lixibel...), May 6th, 2003. (alix)

This combination of words will stick with me for quite some time.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:49 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

This thread makes me MAD!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 8th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:58 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I think I've smelled that rectum before.
-- Curtis Stephens (sevenxvii...), May 16th, 2003 2:36 PM.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 May 2003 16:05 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Sad to say, only Stoppard has ever really gripped me in the theatre.
-- Alan (AlanTrewarth...), May 20th, 2003. (later)

― NA. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:47 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

The Real Ghostbusters are Nazi's.

-- Pete (pb1...), May 20th, 2003 6:11 AM. (Pete) (later)

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 17:46 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I got erection.
-- Ally (mlescau...), May 20th, 2003. (mlescaut) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had a hand full of that. What did I do with it? I did it clean.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 20th, 2003. (vassifer) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 20:18 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Every time I get an erection, the front seam of my pants violently explodes, revealing my throbbing manhood. It's really embarrassing.
-- Kenan Hebert (khebert...), May 21st, 2003. (later)

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 17:55 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

there was context to that??

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:03 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

Yeah, in context it's perfectly appropriate.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:59 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

It's so salty and warm...
-- jm (jimmythemo...), May 22nd, 2003. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 22 May 2003 17:43 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

I hope you can see this...because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

-- Jordan (jordancohe...), May 23rd, 2003.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 23 May 2003 16:32 (sixteen years ago) Permalink

If I ever get intimate with any of you, please bite me.

-- Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (christineindig...), May 26th, 2003.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 26 May 2003 00:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"...you want a blow job from me, ok? ..."

-- Ally (mlescau...), May 26th, 2003 1:12 PM. (later)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Oi!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:22 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

heh

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

(reading this thread while listening to The Russian Patriarchate Choir sing 'Hymn To The Mother Of God' was a minor miracle of a multi-media experience - in a word, ILXuriant)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 26 May 2003 21:24 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

(said to Ned on the Fred Durst thread)(hey!)

Here, let me turn on the vacuum cleaner and let you pretend it's Kevin Shields...whhiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonym...), May 27th, 2003 12:31 PM

Am I the only one to whom this sounds dirty?

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:27 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

yet, at least text wise, that's the clean version, i believe.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:34 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Skipping 1066 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

good news is that it looks like jose is going to end up just dying slowly while chilling out in the atlantic!

― Karl Malone, Sunday, 10 September 2017 03:25 (thirteen seconds ago) Permalink

― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Sunday, 10 September 2017 03:25 (one year ago) Permalink

sarah mclachlan is extremely cool imo

― ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Wednesday, September 13, 2017 2:01 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I still like the My Dick album

― more Allegro-like (Turrican), Wednesday, September 13, 2017 2:02 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Scott Staph (Old Lunch), Thursday, 14 September 2017 10:20 (one year ago) Permalink

Space porn requires patience.

― Special Egyptian Guest Star (Sanpaku), Saturday, September 16, 2017 1:25 AM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― El Tomboto, Sunday, 17 September 2017 18:31 (one year ago) Permalink

*Axl Rose whistle*

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 September 2017 02:49 (one year ago) Permalink

Squash my ass.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 29 September 2017 16:01 (seven seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Mr. Eulon Mask, urging the UN to ban the "homicide robot" (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 29 September 2017 16:02 (one year ago) Permalink

https://media.tenor.com/images/175f14bf0f9aa79864d6e603680799e2/tenor.gif

― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 29 September 2017 16:07 (one year ago) Permalink

aww, lookit that li'l scamp

― Mr. Eulon Mask, urging the UN to ban the "homicide robot" (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 29 September 2017 16:11 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

If they do it with Bradley Walsh every week I'm all in.

― nashwan, Thursday, November 9, 2017 3:45 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Thursday, 9 November 2017 21:00 (one year ago) Permalink

such an impressive asshole ;_;
― imago, Thursday, 9 November 2017 18:28 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― drinkmaster sealcup at yr service (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 November 2017 21:18 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Whitney do you know any schooltechers

― brimstead, Thursday, 14 December 2017 19:35 (twenty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― sonnet by a wite kid, "On Æolian Grief" (wins), Thursday, 14 December 2017 19:59 (one year ago) Permalink

keep your friends close, and lick your enemy's butthole

― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, December 21, 2017 5:43 PM

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 21 December 2017 19:28 (one year ago) Permalink

not sure the context would have helped much tbf

― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 21 December 2017 21:17 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

*high*

― daavid, Thursday, January 25, 2018 10:53 AM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― (the blues version in his Broadway show) (crüt), Thursday, 25 January 2018 15:58 (one year ago) Permalink

lol @ wales

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 26 January 2018 16:39 (twenty-six seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― i,CloudiOS (darraghmac), Friday, 26 January 2018 16:40 (one year ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

I do have that nasty oozing rash all over my ass...
― VegemiteGrrrl, Friday, January 23, 2009 10:47 PM (nine years ago)

― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 10 February 2018 04:52 (one year ago) Permalink

O_o

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 February 2018 04:55 (one year ago) Permalink

When I saw that I couldn't resist.

― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:05 (one year ago) Permalink

out of context and out of decade too

― Hi diddley dee, hen fapper's life for me (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:06 (one year ago) Permalink

A brief perusal of old Ask A Drunk threads would no doubt yield a cornucopia of context-free quotes useful for VG's revenge, should she wish such.

― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:27 (one year ago) Permalink

i feel v attacked lol

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 February 2018 05:37 (one year ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

'GREAT ASS' wins.
― That one guy that quit, Sunday, 8 April 2007 18:01 (ten years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― things you looked shockingly old when you wore (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 March 2018 09:43 (one year ago) Permalink

😌

― scotti pruitti (wins), Thursday, 8 March 2018 10:35 (one year ago) Permalink

cock to one side

― flamboyant goon tie included, Thursday, March 8, 2018 2:40 PM (twenty-one seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― F# A# (∞), Thursday, 8 March 2018 22:44 (one year ago) Permalink

Take that to the male fashion thread.

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Thursday, 8 March 2018 22:45 (one year ago) Permalink

its ok he was dressing up not dressing download

― things you looked shockingly old when you wore (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 March 2018 22:46 (one year ago) Permalink

there are a WHOLE lotta Micks.

― scott seward, Thursday, 8 March 2018 17:08 (six hours ago) Permalink

― sleepingbag, Thursday, 8 March 2018 23:13 (one year ago) Permalink

If there’s one thing we don’t have time for it’s embouchures and finger holes

― valorous wokelord (silby), Thursday, 15 March 2018 15:20 (twelve minutes ago) Permalink

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Thursday, 15 March 2018 15:33 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

"Loneliness" isn't the game i'm thinking of, it turns out

― songs by bands by Sondheim (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, April 24, 2018 7:25 PM (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 17:36 (one year ago) Permalink

:D :/ :D

― songs by bands by Sondheim (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 17:39 (one year ago) Permalink

;_;

( ;-) )

― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 17:43 (one year ago) Permalink

this week i'm on a rollercoaster too stupid/boring for even me to post about it

― songs by bands by Sondheim (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 17:45 (one year ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

It's in there, it's just very small.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, May 16, 2018 7:03 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 17 May 2018 01:27 (one year ago) Permalink

Lol

― albvivertine, Thursday, 17 May 2018 01:50 (one year ago) Permalink

flappy bird wrote this on thread Things You Just Don't Care About on board I Love Everything on 24-May-2018

me too

― Elonio Grimesci (wins), Thursday, 24 May 2018 16:36 (one year ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

the wc is the prism through which the whole of humankind can and indeed must be understood

― ogmor, Sunday, June 10, 2018 10:01 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― F# A# (∞), Sunday, 10 June 2018 18:50 (eleven months ago) Permalink

i definitely say "yessed out" a lot

― flappy bird, Sunday, 10 June 2018 20:31 (eleven months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

jesus christ posts you had second and third and fourth thought about posting to 'ilx quoted out of context'

― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Monday, 13 August 2018 20:22 (nine months ago) Permalink

I think i have historically had at least five whenever i checked in

― Trϵϵship, Friday, August 17, 2018 2:40 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 17 August 2018 21:42 (nine months ago) Permalink

i found a frog to eternally tongue fuck me within 20 seconds of starting

― Karl Malone, Thursday, August 23, 2018 10:40 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Nhex, Friday, 24 August 2018 02:50 (nine months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

i was absolutely horrified to find myself touched

― lie back and think of englund (darraghmac), Monday, October 29, 2018 4:29 PM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― F# A# (∞), Monday, 29 October 2018 23:51 (six months ago) Permalink

three months pass...

My fault will. I should have known you weren’t saying that the historically black and latino bronx was like 8chan and the majority asian flushing was like reddit, even if there are a few dungeons here and there, because tjat would have been super racist and out of character.

― Trϵϵship, Wednesday, February 27, 2019 10:51 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― ebro the letter (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 27 February 2019 17:10 (two months ago) Permalink

lmao

― flopson, Wednesday, 27 February 2019 17:22 (two months ago) Permalink

right. under socialism, there wouldn't really be a concept of own's "own" urine anyway.

― Trϵϵship, Monday, February 11, 2019 10:42 PM (two weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― flappy bird, Wednesday, 27 February 2019 18:11 (two months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9egNUVybxA

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 27 February 2019 18:12 (two months ago) Permalink

perhaps, i like me some OG ham with a gold-hearted prostitute

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, February 28, 2019 9:57 PM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― affects breves telnet (Gummy Gummy), Thursday, 28 February 2019 22:07 (two months ago) Permalink

xpost pvmic

― moose; squirrel (silby), Thursday, 28 February 2019 22:10 (two months ago) Permalink

I do feel guilty if it clears before it turns green!

― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 11 March 2019 13:13 (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― The Vangelis of Dating (Tom D.), Monday, 11 March 2019 13:21 (two months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

I got no hits with "piss"

― recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, April 18, 2019 1:49 PM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

try "urine" for a surprise hit

― Simon H., Thursday, April 18, 2019 1:51 PM (fifty-two seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Joan Lunden just stole your laptop and I didn't even try to stop her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 18 April 2019 18:53 (one month ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

It's less work than actually doing the crazy ass things.

― Yerac, Friday, May 3, 2019 3:31 PM (one minute ago)

― mookieproof, Friday, 3 May 2019 19:34 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I'm still waiting on a big work dump that is 2 weeks late at this point.

― WmC, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 15:13 (thirty-six minutes ago)

― Doctor Nu (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 14:50 (one week ago) Permalink

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