ILX quoted out of context

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This is the thread where you repost a posting from another thread that--when taken out of the context of its original thread--is either scary, funny, lewd, evil or other!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:47 (twenty years ago) link

Ha. Figures. It's been a dry couple of days, even though I've been rolling up the rim furiously.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), March 31st, 2003.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:51 (twenty years ago) link

Hey now, Sean. Let him seduce you with his trenchcoat.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 1st, 2003.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 01:03 (twenty years ago) link

I like the idea of this thread, but sadly/happily, I think that most of the threads in their original contexts are likely to be much filthier. In the best possible sense!

― Skottie, Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:46 (twenty years ago) link

I think I get taken out of context for the most innocent remarks anyway! One of the tragedies of my life.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 10:58 (twenty years ago) link

"Excuse me, but where are the X'O's?"
Elliott Smith to thread!

-- Jody Beth Rosen (edito...), April 1st, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:03 (twenty years ago) link

I can never hear that phrase again without thinking of Patrick Bateman's naked body.

-- Mary (maj23...), April 15th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 01:39 (twenty years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Oh no! What are all the chronic wiener eaters going to do?
-- Jodi (jenkyhaypatch...), April 30th, 2003 12:56

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:19 (twenty years ago) link

Sean, I don't think they make buns small enough.
-- Nick A. (emmaa...), April 30th, 2003. (later) (Nick A.) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:22 (twenty years ago) link

Ha!

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:29 (twenty years ago) link

I fucking the sight of the male body.

-- Calum (ca...), April 30th, 2003.

Best.* Typo. Evah.

*"best" as in "most telling of the things going on in the subconcious of the person what posted it"*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:21 (twenty years ago) link

It's a Freudian slit, no doubt about it.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:28 (twenty years ago) link

Damn, sorry, Freudian gymslip.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:29 (twenty years ago) link

I want = I want someone
-- amateurist (am...), April 29th, 2003.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:16 (twenty years ago) link

god i just want to beat him around the head and neck with my dick until he passes out or it breaks off
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), April 23rd, 2003.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:05 (twenty years ago) link

jess into turkeyslapping shocka

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:08 (twenty years ago) link

Three beers, p'shaw! At least with grandpa, I actually make it to work tomorrow. =)
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 1st, 2003 10:18 PM.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:24 (twenty years ago) link

he also wants to fist tony robbins

― minna (minna), Thursday, 1 May 2003 02:51 (twenty years ago) link

Better than wanting to fist Tony Robinson. Arrrr. "That is clearly dirrrrr-ty!"

― kate, Thursday, 1 May 2003 08:16 (twenty years ago) link

your jetset lifestyle is impressive gareth, BUT HOW LONG CAN IT LAST
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), April 29th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:49 (twenty years ago) link

muff?

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 1st, 2003.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:13 (twenty years ago) link

My sister does that 'scratching-and-sniffing' thing and it drives my Dad bonkers.

--Mandee

― buttch (Oops), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:15 (twenty years ago) link

does this mean i need to come clean about my gender?
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 2nd, 2003 10:01 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Could it wait? I was enjoying having you over me.
-- felicity (felicityredwel...), May 2nd, 2003 10:04 AM.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 May 2003 23:42 (twenty years ago) link

Haha! Best post of thread

― buttch (Oops), Friday, 2 May 2003 03:47 (twenty years ago) link

It was crying out to be used, I have to say :)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 May 2003 04:21 (twenty years ago) link

"I LIKE COFFEE AND SCOTCH AND SEX! I AM AN ADULT! CAN YOU BUBBLEHEADS PLEASE TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE IN HERE?"
Kenan on the I hate fun thread.

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Friday, 2 May 2003 18:23 (twenty years ago) link

make that "come to"... fuck. See I can't even control my HANDS here...
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 2nd, 2003 7:14 PM

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Saturday, 3 May 2003 03:25 (twenty years ago) link

I've never thought of Bernard Sumner's antics as fey.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 28th, 2003. (spencermfi) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 4 May 2003 05:11 (twenty years ago) link

I'm dead at Ypres in 1917 with the rest of you. It's a veritable mentalist holocaust.
-- amateurist (amateuris...), May 5th, 2003. (later) (amateurist) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 5 May 2003 15:15 (twenty years ago) link

Maybe it's the smoking that's causing a problem. It was fine last night. Today it's throbby and HUGE
--Ally

― buttch (Oops), Monday, 5 May 2003 18:24 (twenty years ago) link

I'd rather eat my sister
- Alix

Um, you're not twins are you, Alix? By any chance?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:40 (twenty years ago) link

My periods are all over the place. :-(
-- kate (masonicboo...), May 6th, 2003. (later)

(Confession - I took out some of this post to make it more open to misinterpretation)

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:45 (twenty years ago) link

"...non vagina teeth..."

-- alix (lixibel...), May 6th, 2003. (alix)

This combination of words will stick with me for quite some time.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:49 (twenty years ago) link

This thread makes me MAD!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 8th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:58 (twenty years ago) link

I think I've smelled that rectum before.
-- Curtis Stephens (sevenxvii...), May 16th, 2003 2:36 PM.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 May 2003 16:05 (twenty years ago) link

Sad to say, only Stoppard has ever really gripped me in the theatre.
-- Alan (AlanTrewarth...), May 20th, 2003. (later)

― NA. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:47 (twenty years ago) link

The Real Ghostbusters are Nazi's.

-- Pete (pb1...), May 20th, 2003 6:11 AM. (Pete) (later)

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 17:46 (twenty years ago) link

I got erection.
-- Ally (mlescau...), May 20th, 2003. (mlescaut) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had a hand full of that. What did I do with it? I did it clean.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 20th, 2003. (vassifer) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 20:18 (twenty years ago) link

Every time I get an erection, the front seam of my pants violently explodes, revealing my throbbing manhood. It's really embarrassing.
-- Kenan Hebert (khebert...), May 21st, 2003. (later)

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 17:55 (twenty years ago) link

there was context to that??

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:03 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, in context it's perfectly appropriate.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:59 (twenty years ago) link

It's so salty and warm...
-- jm (jimmythemo...), May 22nd, 2003. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 22 May 2003 17:43 (twenty years ago) link

I hope you can see this...because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

-- Jordan (jordancohe...), May 23rd, 2003.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 23 May 2003 16:32 (twenty years ago) link

If I ever get intimate with any of you, please bite me.

-- Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (christineindig...), May 26th, 2003.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 26 May 2003 00:13 (twenty years ago) link

"...you want a blow job from me, ok? ..."

-- Ally (mlescau...), May 26th, 2003 1:12 PM. (later)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:15 (twenty years ago) link

Oi!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:22 (twenty years ago) link

heh

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:42 (twenty years ago) link

(reading this thread while listening to The Russian Patriarchate Choir sing 'Hymn To The Mother Of God' was a minor miracle of a multi-media experience - in a word, ILXuriant)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 26 May 2003 21:24 (twenty years ago) link

(said to Ned on the Fred Durst thread)(hey!)

Here, let me turn on the vacuum cleaner and let you pretend it's Kevin Shields...whhiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonym...), May 27th, 2003 12:31 PM

Am I the only one to whom this sounds dirty?

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:27 (twenty years ago) link

yet, at least text wise, that's the clean version, i believe.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:34 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 1212 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I love crying

― stylish but illegal (Simon H.), Friday, 29 January 2021 19:38 (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― your passion oozzes from the (ultros ultros-ghali), Friday, 29 January 2021 19:46 (two years ago) link

rob
Posted: 1 February 2021 at 20:48:13
wow I'm leaning a lot today on ilx. first about castration, now this

― scampish inquisition (gyac), Monday, 1 February 2021 20:53 (two years ago) link

Oh no I'm thinking being of potato croquettes

― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Thursday, February 4, 2021 1:06 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Mark G, Thursday, 4 February 2021 08:20 (two years ago) link

my ex-wife, still sleeping, once woke me up at about 6am to ask me "can i taunt (sic)

jim in vancouver

― cpt otm (darraghmac), Friday, 5 February 2021 00:10 (two years ago) link

"Can i taunt (sic)" - Chief Keef

― he said that you son of a bitch (Neanderthal), Friday, 5 February 2021 00:10 (two years ago) link

about to remove my bookmark
― meticulously crafted, socially responsible, morally upsta (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, February 7, 2021 5:31 PM

― "what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 7 February 2021 23:35 (two years ago) link

Probably lots I could name. Chastity Belt comes to mind.

― o. nate, Wednesday, February 10, 2021 6:43 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

― lord of the ting tings (map), Wednesday, 10 February 2021 22:49 (two years ago) link

My new revelations: 1) I should really wear a mask if/when I rob people and 2) if I do rob or kill someone, I think I should get out of that area ASAP. Also need to figure out how to open locked/closed doors so that I can do more robbing.
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, February 20, 2021 7:00 PM

― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 20 February 2021 20:02 (two years ago) link

I need a good autostraddle

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, February 24, 2021 4:32 PM bookmarkflaglink

― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 22:00 (two years ago) link

tbf that's how he meant it in context too though

― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 22:00 (two years ago) link

Well, yeah.

― "what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 22:58 (two years ago) link

"Damn, great-great-grandpa Jebediah was HUNG!"
― chillin' like Emperor Maximilian (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, March 1, 2021

― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 1 March 2021 01:31 (two years ago) link

I'm interested in the load of wank.

― pomenitul, Thursday, March 4, 2021 3:55 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

The loads, even.

― pomenitul, Thursday, March 4, 2021 3:55 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

― map ca. 1890 (map), Thursday, 4 March 2021 17:50 (two years ago) link

― pomenitul, Thursday, 4 March 2021 17:50 (two years ago) link

I couldn't get with Afterbirth at all

― imago, Thursday, March 11, 2021 12:32 PM bookmarkflaglink

― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Thursday, 11 March 2021 18:09 (two years ago) link

Lol I just knew it was that

― your passion oozzes from the (ultros ultros-ghali), Thursday, 11 March 2021 19:08 (two years ago) link

i remembered Simon as romantic and dreamy, but his behavior seems pretty shitty and self-indulgent on a reread, for example.

― horseshoe, Saturday, March 13, 2021 3:27 PM

― pomenitul, Saturday, 13 March 2021 20:29 (two years ago) link

http://www.freesimon.org/

― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 13 March 2021 20:34 (two years ago) link

*but still, pulls the lever for ted cruz's ass constrictor with confidence*

― Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Wednesday, March 17, 2021 3:41 PM bookmarkflaglink

― Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 19:45 (two years ago) link

horseshoe otm

― intern at pepe le pew research (Simon H.), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 19:48 (two years ago) link

semen and weed both smell amazing sheesh

― John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Saturday, March 20, 2021 6:55 PM

― pomenitul, Saturday, 20 March 2021 22:57 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

yeah mladic slaps

― This Is Not An ILX Username (LaMonte), Thursday, April 8, 2021 4:56 PM

― pomenitul, Thursday, 8 April 2021 20:59 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

just to be clear, i don't have any children. i'm just talking about "my boys"

― parenthetically yours, (Karl Malone), Wednesday, May 19, 2021 3:31 PM (twenty-five minutes ago)

― Clara Lemlich stan account (silby), Wednesday, 19 May 2021 22:57 (two years ago) link

come on we all do it

― parenthetically yours, (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 19 May 2021 23:43 (two years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSlXjbNIbYk

― Working in the POLL Mine (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, 19 May 2021 23:47 (two years ago) link

Mods are Alt-Righters, no shock there I guess.

― Feta Van Cheese (Neanderthal), Wednesday, June 2, 2021 10:53 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Piven After Midnight (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 2 June 2021 18:19 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

I remembering being fuck awful at the last wc

― xyzzzz__, dinsdag 29 juni 2021 20:40

― ten man poland chasing this means hamsik feasts (breastcrawl), Tuesday, 29 June 2021 19:02 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Is it me or is this turd getting much worse much faster?

― burnt hombre (stevie), Monday, August 2, 2021 12:56 PM (nineteen minutes ago)

― rob, Monday, 2 August 2021 17:16 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

"Underwear" is pretty great imo

― billstevejim, Monday, September 20, 2021 1:29 PM bookmarkflaglink

― you had me at "giallo" (Neanderthal), Monday, 20 September 2021 17:45 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Yeah, it’s gotta be jizzy condoms, right? Who the hell would do that? In my experience the dude usually takes care of disposing of that. Did she ask her guys for their juicy rubber?
― Cow_Art, Friday, October 15, 2021 6:02 PM

― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Friday, 15 October 2021 20:38 (one year ago) link

fuck the Dolphins, fuck them so hard.
― Gardyloominati (Neanderthal), Sunday, October 24, 2021

― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 24 October 2021 20:37 (one year ago) link

A friend of mine was notified today that her regular consultation regarding a daily medication has been postponed for 11 months

― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Saturday, October 23, 2021 12:37 AM bookmarkflaglink

probably don't want to know, but: kevin drew?

― mookieproof, Monday, October 25, 2021 10:29 PM bookmarkflaglink

― talkin' about his flat tire (DJP), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 14:33 (one year ago) link

just imagine Bono nude

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, November 3, 2021 9:20 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

― Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 4 November 2021 05:47 (one year ago) link

I prescribe milk and trying some butt stuff going forward.

― papal hotwife (milo z), Thursday, November 4, 2021 1:34 PM (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― joygoat, Thursday, 4 November 2021 17:47 (one year ago) link

You put one part of the V between your legs and angle the neck upward on a diagonal and it’s fine.

― Josefa, Sunday, November 7, 2021 3:48 PM (fifty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

^^Edited for the dirty

― Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 7 November 2021 22:49 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

Just vaseline your pole imago, their momentum gets them about three feet up before they just slide back down again

― o shit the sheriff (NickB), Monday, January 31, 2022 3:23 PM (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Monday, 31 January 2022 15:36 (one year ago) link

lol!

― calzino, Monday, 31 January 2022 15:39 (one year ago) link

ahaha i saw that and knew it'd end up here

― imago, Monday, 31 January 2022 16:33 (one year ago) link

lol

― Someone left a space telescope out in the rain (Tom D.), Monday, 31 January 2022 18:17 (one year ago) link

wow

― rob, Monday, 31 January 2022 18:24 (one year ago) link

I love both of you guys and would FAP anytime but I am really so mad about this, I'm just gonna unbookmark

― bad milk blood robot (sleeve), Tuesday, February 1, 2022 6:48 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 2 February 2022 00:58 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Wait, I'm assuming Mendelssohn hated LZII. If he liked it, then the review stinks.
― sund4r subramanian (sund4r), Monday, November 22, 2004 12:31 AM (seventeen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 22 March 2022 19:10 (one year ago) link

six months pass...

Ian's not coming over the top of me anymore, but it is going over Neanderthal.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Wednesday, September 28, 2022 12:10 AM (thirty-five seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

― sorry, it's just Babe (2006) (Evan), Wednesday, 28 September 2022 04:12 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

sounds like there needs to be a big jack off to determine who's the first result

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, November 11, 2022 1:34 PM bookmarkflaglink

― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Friday, 11 November 2022 19:04 (six months ago) link

two months pass...

oh great, now i wanna party with difficult listening hour's mom
― alpine static, Thursday, February 2, 2023

― POLIZISTEN VERSINKEN IM SCHLAMM (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 2 February 2023 04:52 (three months ago) link

haven't thought about that asshole in years

― I? not I! He! He! HIM! (akm), Saturday, February 11, 2023 8:03 PM bookmarkflaglink

― waiting for a czar to fall (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 February 2023 01:04 (three months ago) link

Hope the obits spend as little time as possible on My Ding-a-Ling.

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Saturday, March 18, 2017 5:29 PM (five years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 13 February 2023 00:11 (three months ago) link

Plenty of us liked it in 2003. And she can like any color and temperature of cum she damn well pleases.

― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, February 18, 2023 10:21 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 18 February 2023 17:50 (three months ago) link

My hopes for Girlfriend are dwindling

― the forces of darkness making making us laugh ourselves into DEATH?? (dog latin), Monday, February 20, 2023 2:51 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

― na (NA), Monday, 20 February 2023 20:53 (three months ago) link

three weeks pass...

"My Year of Dicks" was easily, totally better all around.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, March 13, 2023 10:33 AM (thirty-six seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 13 March 2023 15:37 (two months ago) link

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