ILX quoted out of context

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This is the thread where you repost a posting from another thread that--when taken out of the context of its original thread--is either scary, funny, lewd, evil or other!

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Ha. Figures. It's been a dry couple of days, even though I've been rolling up the rim furiously.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), March 31st, 2003.

Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Hey now, Sean. Let him seduce you with his trenchcoat.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 1st, 2003.

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 01:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I like the idea of this thread, but sadly/happily, I think that most of the threads in their original contexts are likely to be much filthier. In the best possible sense!

Skottie, Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I think I get taken out of context for the most innocent remarks anyway! One of the tragedies of my life.

ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 10:58 (seventeen years ago) link

"Excuse me, but where are the X'O's?"
Elliott Smith to thread!

-- Jody Beth Rosen (edito...), April 1st, 2003. (later)

felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I can never hear that phrase again without thinking of Patrick Bateman's naked body.

-- Mary (maj23...), April 15th, 2003. (later)

felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 01:39 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...
Oh no! What are all the chronic wiener eaters going to do?
-- Jodi (jenkyhaypatch...), April 30th, 2003 12:56

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Sean, I don't think they make buns small enough.
-- Nick A. (emmaa...), April 30th, 2003. (later) (Nick A.) (link)

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:22 (seventeen years ago) link


Nick A. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I fucking the sight of the male body.

-- Calum (ca...), April 30th, 2003.

Best.* Typo. Evah.

*"best" as in "most telling of the things going on in the subconcious of the person what posted it"*

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:21 (seventeen years ago) link

It's a Freudian slit, no doubt about it.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Damn, sorry, Freudian gymslip.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I want = I want someone
-- amateurist (am...), April 29th, 2003.

Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:16 (seventeen years ago) link

god i just want to beat him around the head and neck with my dick until he passes out or it breaks off
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), April 23rd, 2003.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:05 (seventeen years ago) link

jess into turkeyslapping shocka

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Three beers, p'shaw! At least with grandpa, I actually make it to work tomorrow. =)
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 1st, 2003 10:18 PM.

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:24 (seventeen years ago) link

he also wants to fist tony robbins

minna (minna), Thursday, 1 May 2003 02:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Better than wanting to fist Tony Robinson. Arrrr. "That is clearly dirrrrr-ty!"

kate, Thursday, 1 May 2003 08:16 (seventeen years ago) link

your jetset lifestyle is impressive gareth, BUT HOW LONG CAN IT LAST
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), April 29th, 2003. (later)

felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:49 (seventeen years ago) link


-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 1st, 2003.

ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:13 (seventeen years ago) link

My sister does that 'scratching-and-sniffing' thing and it drives my Dad bonkers.


buttch (Oops), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:15 (seventeen years ago) link

does this mean i need to come clean about my gender?
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 2nd, 2003 10:01 AM.


Could it wait? I was enjoying having you over me.
-- felicity (felicityredwel...), May 2nd, 2003 10:04 AM.

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 May 2003 23:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha! Best post of thread

buttch (Oops), Friday, 2 May 2003 03:47 (seventeen years ago) link

It was crying out to be used, I have to say :)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 May 2003 04:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Kenan on the I hate fun thread.

Sarah Mclusky (coco), Friday, 2 May 2003 18:23 (seventeen years ago) link

make that "come to"... fuck. See I can't even control my HANDS here...
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 2nd, 2003 7:14 PM

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Saturday, 3 May 2003 03:25 (seventeen years ago) link

I've never thought of Bernard Sumner's antics as fey.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 28th, 2003. (spencermfi) (link)

Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 4 May 2003 05:11 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm dead at Ypres in 1917 with the rest of you. It's a veritable mentalist holocaust.
-- amateurist (amateuris...), May 5th, 2003. (later) (amateurist) (link)

Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 5 May 2003 15:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe it's the smoking that's causing a problem. It was fine last night. Today it's throbby and HUGE

buttch (Oops), Monday, 5 May 2003 18:24 (seventeen years ago) link

I'd rather eat my sister
- Alix

Um, you're not twins are you, Alix? By any chance?

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:40 (seventeen years ago) link

My periods are all over the place. :-(
-- kate (masonicboo...), May 6th, 2003. (later)

(Confession - I took out some of this post to make it more open to misinterpretation)

Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:45 (seventeen years ago) link

"...non vagina teeth..."

-- alix (lixibel...), May 6th, 2003. (alix)

This combination of words will stick with me for quite some time.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:49 (seventeen years ago) link

This thread makes me MAD!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 8th, 2003. (later)

felicity (felicity), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I think I've smelled that rectum before.
-- Curtis Stephens (sevenxvii...), May 16th, 2003 2:36 PM.

Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 May 2003 16:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Sad to say, only Stoppard has ever really gripped me in the theatre.
-- Alan (AlanTrewarth...), May 20th, 2003. (later)

NA. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:47 (seventeen years ago) link

The Real Ghostbusters are Nazi's.

-- Pete (pb1...), May 20th, 2003 6:11 AM. (Pete) (later)

slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 17:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I got erection.
-- Ally (mlescau...), May 20th, 2003. (mlescaut) (later) (link)


I had a hand full of that. What did I do with it? I did it clean.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 20th, 2003. (vassifer) (later) (link)

Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 20:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Every time I get an erection, the front seam of my pants violently explodes, revealing my throbbing manhood. It's really embarrassing.
-- Kenan Hebert (khebert...), May 21st, 2003. (later)

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 17:55 (seventeen years ago) link

there was context to that??

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, in context it's perfectly appropriate.

Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:59 (seventeen years ago) link

It's so salty and warm...
-- jm (jimmythemo...), May 22nd, 2003. (later)

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 22 May 2003 17:43 (seventeen years ago) link

I hope you can see this...because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

-- Jordan (jordancohe...), May 23rd, 2003.

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 23 May 2003 16:32 (seventeen years ago) link

If I ever get intimate with any of you, please bite me.

-- Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (christineindig...), May 26th, 2003.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 26 May 2003 00:13 (seventeen years ago) link

" want a blow job from me, ok? ..."

-- Ally (mlescau...), May 26th, 2003 1:12 PM. (later)

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:15 (seventeen years ago) link


Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:22 (seventeen years ago) link


electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:42 (seventeen years ago) link

(reading this thread while listening to The Russian Patriarchate Choir sing 'Hymn To The Mother Of God' was a minor miracle of a multi-media experience - in a word, ILXuriant)

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 26 May 2003 21:24 (seventeen years ago) link

(said to Ned on the Fred Durst thread)(hey!)

Here, let me turn on the vacuum cleaner and let you pretend it's Kevin Shields...whhiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonym...), May 27th, 2003 12:31 PM

Am I the only one to whom this sounds dirty?

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:27 (seventeen years ago) link

yet, at least text wise, that's the clean version, i believe.

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes. Brown is tweaking and tightening.

― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Tuesday, July 14, 2020 8:34 PM (seven minutes ago)

mookieproof, Wednesday, 15 July 2020 00:43 (seven months ago) link

seriously, you could all have the assfuck that Alfred and I have.
― I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 01:07 (seven months ago) link


The GOAT Harold Land (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 01:17 (seven months ago) link

the dead wish they could choogle.

― Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Friday, July 17, 2020 7:18 PM

pomenitul, Friday, 17 July 2020 23:24 (seven months ago) link


The Fields o' Fat Henry (Tom D.), Friday, 17 July 2020 23:26 (seven months ago) link

El Tomboto
Posted: 11 June 2020 at 01:11:37

My favorite rimworld streamer discovered terraria and is now on hour 23 of his hardcore stream

No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Tuesday, 21 July 2020 21:48 (seven months ago) link


all cats are beautiful (silby), Tuesday, 21 July 2020 21:54 (seven months ago) link

contact your doctor if you experience hardcore stream for 4 hours or more

The GOAT Harold Land (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2020 22:29 (seven months ago) link

misread rimworld steamer

singular wolf erotica producer (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 22 July 2020 00:20 (seven months ago) link

I’m ok with the top 2 but deleuze is more fun than any of these guys except maybe fred on occasion

― If you choose too long a name, your new display name will be truncated in (Left), Tuesday, July 21, 2020 11:51 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Scampidocio (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 22 July 2020 07:10 (seven months ago) link

Good one.

Sonny Shamrock (Tom D.), Wednesday, 22 July 2020 09:34 (seven months ago) link

nice cups xp

― lag∞n, Tuesday, July 28, 2020 9:44 AM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 28 July 2020 15:05 (seven months ago) link

This is about Underworld, right?

pomenitul, Tuesday, 28 July 2020 15:06 (seven months ago) link

Right now I am really valuing walking round the corner to get coffee because Tina, who makes me coffee, is the only human being other than my wife who I am seeing in the flesh on a regular basis.

― American Fear of Scampos (Ed), Wednesday, July 29, 2020 10:39 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 30 July 2020 13:04 (seven months ago) link

I'm trying to mark my tops when the passion is high.

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, August 2, 2020 3:16 bookmarkflaglink

No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Sunday, 2 August 2020 05:34 (seven months ago) link

Ooh la la

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Sunday, 2 August 2020 05:58 (seven months ago) link

Monte Scampino (Le Bateau Ivre)
Posted: 13 August 2020 at 17:02:13
This semi is really pretty bad, but I can enjoy bad snooker

caută tu singur (gyac), Thursday, 13 August 2020 20:43 (six months ago) link

Harsh but fair

Monte Scampino (Le Bateau Ivre), Friday, 14 August 2020 06:11 (six months ago) link

i liked weather, but i preferred dept of speculation.

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, August 26, 2020 11:49 PM

mookieproof, Thursday, 27 August 2020 03:50 (six months ago) link

two weeks pass...

just curious, I haven't been to NYC in years, but was Century 21 destroyed in 9/11 or just damaged?

― naked and sexually active alien (rip van wanko), Friday, September 11, 2020 3:24 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 11 September 2020 13:39 (five months ago) link


error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 11 September 2020 13:40 (five months ago) link

work out to eat out

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, September 11, 2020 11:37 AM

pomenitul, Friday, 11 September 2020 15:39 (five months ago) link

three weeks pass...

yeah, i have no idea where i'm putting that

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, October 7, 2020 2:17 PM (twenty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Spottie, Wednesday, 7 October 2020 21:39 (four months ago) link

a bit oblique but i'll allow it

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 7 October 2020 22:37 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

Every year I look for minor celebrities with cancer. Also dwarfs, I've had success with dwarfs.

― wasdnous (abanana), Tuesday, November 10, 2020 11:28 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 13:52 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

What's the 3rd joke supposed to be? Penis in mouth?
― Tuomas, Tuesday, December 1, 2020 7:08 AM

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 18:46 (three months ago) link


pomenitul, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 18:47 (three months ago) link

one month passes...

you feeling the men?

― J0rdan S., Monday, March 5, 2012 10:02 PM (eight years ago)

k3vin k., Tuesday, 5 January 2021 17:44 (two months ago) link

xpost seriously, I am getting girth I never believed possible

― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Wednesday, January 6, 2021 4:16 PM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

"what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 6 January 2021 22:29 (two months ago) link


Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Wednesday, 6 January 2021 22:30 (two months ago) link

Omg thank u needed to laugh

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 January 2021 22:35 (two months ago) link

There goes ol' Neanderthal, bragging about the girth again. Insufferable.

soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 6 January 2021 22:35 (two months ago) link


Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 January 2021 22:37 (two months ago) link

Jst a hypothetical but wd trump be banned immediately on principle if he created an ilx account, or would mods wait for fp to do its thing

― J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Saturday, 9 January 2021 00:04 (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

It is massively scary that it took five years+ of his bullshit, plus an impeachment, plus literally losing reelection, for all these people to even cautiously turn on him.

― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 9 January 2021 00:04 (fifty-seven seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

nob lacks, noirish (darraghmac), Saturday, 9 January 2021 00:06 (one month ago) link

jesus, I refuse to eat an arsehole with teeth
― calzino, Friday, January 15, 2021

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 16 January 2021 20:45 (one month ago) link

i love when Kenneth Branagh's in my shitter
― if Spaghetti-Os had whammy bars (Neanderthal), Wednesday, January 27, 2021

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 27 January 2021 05:13 (one month ago) link

I love crying

― stylish but illegal (Simon H.), Friday, 29 January 2021 19:38 (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

your passion oozzes from the (ultros ultros-ghali), Friday, 29 January 2021 19:46 (one month ago) link

Posted: 1 February 2021 at 20:48:13
wow I'm leaning a lot today on ilx. first about castration, now this

scampish inquisition (gyac), Monday, 1 February 2021 20:53 (one month ago) link

Oh no I'm thinking being of potato croquettes

― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Thursday, February 4, 2021 1:06 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Mark G, Thursday, 4 February 2021 08:20 (one month ago) link

my ex-wife, still sleeping, once woke me up at about 6am to ask me "can i taunt (sic)

jim in vancouver

cpt otm (darraghmac), Friday, 5 February 2021 00:10 (one month ago) link

"Can i taunt (sic)" - Chief Keef

he said that you son of a bitch (Neanderthal), Friday, 5 February 2021 00:10 (one month ago) link

about to remove my bookmark

― meticulously crafted, socially responsible, morally upsta (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, February 7, 2021 5:31 PM

"what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 7 February 2021 23:35 (three weeks ago) link

Probably lots I could name. Chastity Belt comes to mind.

― o. nate, Wednesday, February 10, 2021 6:43 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

lord of the ting tings (map), Wednesday, 10 February 2021 22:49 (three weeks ago) link

My new revelations: 1) I should really wear a mask if/when I rob people and 2) if I do rob or kill someone, I think I should get out of that area ASAP. Also need to figure out how to open locked/closed doors so that I can do more robbing.
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, February 20, 2021 7:00 PM

That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 20 February 2021 20:02 (two weeks ago) link

I need a good autostraddle

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, February 24, 2021 4:32 PM bookmarkflaglink

Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 22:00 (one week ago) link

tbf that's how he meant it in context too though

Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 22:00 (one week ago) link

Well, yeah.

"what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 22:58 (one week ago) link

"Damn, great-great-grandpa Jebediah was HUNG!"
― chillin' like Emperor Maximilian (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, March 1, 2021

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 1 March 2021 01:31 (five days ago) link

I'm interested in the load of wank.

― pomenitul, Thursday, March 4, 2021 3:55 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

The loads, even.

― pomenitul, Thursday, March 4, 2021 3:55 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

map ca. 1890 (map), Thursday, 4 March 2021 17:50 (two days ago) link


pomenitul, Thursday, 4 March 2021 17:50 (two days ago) link

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