Prove Jess Wrong, Protect yr Dong!

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MitchAnon: jess what funny image/slogan as seen on a condom would make you want to buy it?
Dubplatestyle: hmmm
Dubplatestyle: "there's no sugar in pixie sticks"
MitchAnon: i dont think i understand and yet haha
Dubplatestyle: haha neither do i
MitchAnon: we dont get pixie sticks here :-(
Dubplatestyle: i just woke up like an hour ago
MitchAnon: well if you think of anything let me know
MitchAnon: cos i'm meant to have ten of them by tuesday
MitchAnon: finished designs and everything
MitchAnon: dan perry to my brain
Dubplatestyle: hah yeah post a thread
MitchAnon: and then leech the creativity of others for profit?
Dubplatestyle: of course!
MitchAnon: and what if, in an ultimate display of sloth erm i mean laziness, i just copy and paste this conversation?
Dubplatestyle: they might not want to help if they know you are stealing their ideas

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Saturday, 1 March 2003 18:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

"don't be a fool, cover your tool"

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 1 March 2003 18:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

"How did my willy get under your skin?"

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 1 March 2003 18:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Picture this, a giant condom is sitting at a piano, it's a classy joint, he's singing a song: "if you're gonna swing, i'm the guy you wanna bring".

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 1 March 2003 18:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

that's hella cute, jel!

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Saturday, 1 March 2003 18:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

Jel is a marketing dept's dream. "Guys, I'd like to introduce you to a legend: The Wizard!" "Hi. Hi. Yeah, you can call me jel, but I'd like for you to think of me as The Wizard. Thanks."

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 1 March 2003 18:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

would this be imprinted on the condom itself or just the packaging?

― Aaron A., Saturday, 1 March 2003 19:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

I am completely drawing a blank here...

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 1 March 2003 19:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

Is that your submission Dan?

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 1 March 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

just the packaging...

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Saturday, 1 March 2003 20:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Better than sex without a condom, or your money back!"

― Aaron A., Saturday, 1 March 2003 20:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Don't give a dose to the one you love mos'"

This is an actual slogan from the late 60s/early 70s, I think.

― nickn (nickn), Sunday, 2 March 2003 02:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

"My other penis is a Porsche."

― Chris P (Chris P), Sunday, 2 March 2003 08:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

just white packaging with "CONDOMS" in huge letters in bold black font.
discretion rocks

― webber (webber), Sunday, 2 March 2003 08:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh, wait, just on the packaging. Um. Nevermind.

― Chris P (Chris P), Sunday, 2 March 2003 08:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Special Sizes for the Well-Endowed and Discreet Gentleman"

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Sunday, 2 March 2003 20:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Sizes: Enormous, Stallion or Bull Elephant"

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 2 March 2003 21:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

Just put naked women on the box.

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 2 March 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Candy Wrapper"

― Chris P (Chris P), Sunday, 2 March 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

"As worn by all the best-dressed studs."

"Women dig a cat who wears a jimmy hat."

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 2 March 2003 22:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

Best for Anal!

(actually I wouldn't buy that but I think I know a few folks who wd)

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 2 March 2003 22:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

So, on the box, this giant piano playing condom, let's call him Fred, is playing away...and the slogan reads "Hit the right note, when you use me as your coat!"

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 3 March 2003 19:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

So, on the box, this giant piano playing condom, let's call him Fred, is playing away...and the slogan reads "I'M A JIMHAT THAT PLAYS THE PIANO!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 March 2003 19:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

"tickling ivories AND labias since 1984"

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 March 2003 19:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

and the brand is called "symphony" and you can include all sorts of cliches about making beautiful music, these are pomo-johnnys.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha symphony condoms! the 'movement' jokes alone...

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

ah Dan, I'm trying to make condoms tw33.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

How about a close-up photograph of a penis with the word "UNPRETTY" stamped over it? You could get TLC to record a jingle and everything!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

ah Dan, I'm trying to make condoms tw33.

Then you need a cartoon of a teddy bear wearing the condom on the box. You could call them Dirty Teddy Condoms.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

or how about condoms that come in a variety of designs like polka dot and, swirly-ness.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ow, a condom that twists yer bizniz into a spiral = DUD.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dirty Teddy! that rocks!

Mitch, are any of these suggestions useful?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

uhm...

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

err...

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

mitch how about "roll up the rim to sin"!

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

that's gold i tell you, GOLD!!

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Protecting yr privates from vagina dentata since 1865"

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

"vagina dentata" = thats it i'm going gay

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Asshola dentata"

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

I Cor. 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

― Aaron A., Monday, 3 March 2003 21:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Aaron A. = no relation to Nick A. (though my middle name is Aaron, oddly enough)

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Monday, 3 March 2003 21:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

I wd totally buy "CORINTHIANS" brand dicksheaths

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 3 March 2003 22:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Give your partner the Word!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 March 2003 23:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

I wd totally buy "CORINTHIANS" brand dicksheaths

Well, would this be for the lambskin condoms, and would you get Ricardo Montalban to do the TV ads? "Rrrrrrrrich Corinthian leather..."

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 00:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

When I worked at Hughes, our contractor was Northrup for a B-2 system we were doing, and the Northrup peaople had some condoms made in a B-2 bomber-shaped package upon which "No one will see you coming." was written.

― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 02:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah, those actually made it into Newsweek I think

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 02:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Design condom packaging that looks like tuxedos for the penis. Market them as being for "The well-dressed man."

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 04:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.milenariocomics.com.ar/06mar02/bender.jpg
Looks like a great way to get young kids to start using condoms. Hook them young.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 04:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

Did you just say that?

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 09:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

MEMBERS ONLY.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 11:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Mr Noodles is referring to the episode of South Park where they get given kid condoms?

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 17:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

Whats sappooning hot stuffs?
http://www.angelfire.com/il3/timemachine/images/longduckdong.jpg

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 18:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

now i'm sad i can't use "no one will see you coming" (and can't think of an equally funny reworking), but "members only" is v good i think.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 18:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

I dunno why you aren't going with the whole piano playing condom thing.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 18:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

i'm working on it, jel. i'm just afraid that the boyracer fans/guys who buy 'funny' condoms at gas stations demographic ain't exactly overlapping all that much y'know.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 18:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

'slippery when wet'

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 4 March 2003 18:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

jel i am designing yr "symphony-brand" condoms!

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 9 March 2003 20:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

four years pass...

Poppagers

― gershy, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 03:54 (sixteen years ago) link

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