Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Girl I work with is chatting to a male customer in friendly fashion as she serves him. He leaves, then me and her have this conversation.

Annoying Girl: "I hope people don't get the wrong idea!"
Me: "Eh?"
AG: "About me and the guy. I hope people don't start thinking we're going out, just because I'm friendly to him when he comes in."
Me: "Eh, I don't think people will assume that."
AG: "You don't think the bosses would fire me for it? You know, for being too friendly with the customers?"
Me: "Eh, no." (Thinking: Christ Almighty!)
AG: "I'm really worried now. They wouldn't fire me for it, would they?"
Me: "I doubt it."

A few minutes pass...

AG: "I'm still really worried. They wouldn't fire me, would they?"
Me: "NO!" (Thinking: leave me alone, you neurotic freak!)

Then this crazy elderly man, a regular customer, comes in. He was in a car accident which left him, (how shall I put this?), barking mad. He thinks he's a real estate owner, and I'm one of his tenants, despite the fact that he asks me for money for tobacco every time he comes in. He proceeds to tell the annoying girl about all the houses he owns, and how I am one of his tenants etc, etc, while drooling and smelling terrible! He leaves.

AG: (genuinely) "Was that true, what he was saying?"
Me: "Oh my, no."
AG: "It could have been..."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it wasn't" (Thinking: Christ! I think I'd know if I was one of his tenants!)
AG: "Appearances can be deceptive..."
Me: "No, I'm pretty sure he's barking mad."
AG: "But-"
Me: "NO!"

It was a long day at work. I feel better now I've got it off my chest! Now it's your turn to bitch.

What makes it even more irritating is that she's a very NICE person. No harm in her at all, just really annoying and stupid. So I feel bad for bitching about her, yet I am compelled to do so!

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

One of the managers at the petrol station once called me outside for a smoke and to talk to me, it was a bit like the Warden Norton/Tommy scene in Shawshank Redemption.

Boss:"Ronan could you comb your hair next time you come to work"

Me:"eh in fairness the contract doesn't say anything about me having to comb my hair"

Boss:"yeah but I mean you're a student now yeah? this job isn't so bad. they look after you well, it's a good wage, I'm happy with my lot"

Me:"I don't think there's any chance of me ever working here for a living, long term"

Boss:"Yeah and they pay your health insurance, it's not too difficult a job either"

Me:"Yeah no I'm never going to want to work here, to be honest I was planning on quitting as soon as I start college, or maybe even sooner, you needn't tell the main boss that"

Boss:"Oh don't worry, whatever is discussed here stays here. *long David Brent style lecture* I know what it's like to work WITH people and AROUND people, and I know that this station is not being run as effectively as possible, it's a clique, and I'm sure you can see that too Ronan. But quitting isn't going to change that. You quitting will not make this a smoother operation.

Me:"Eh I don't care about this job, I'm not sure what your point is"

Boss:"All I'm saying is, think about what I've said to you yeah? Just think about it"


Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Is it only DCU students who work with stupid, annoying people?

DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 28 November 2002 23:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

no, its anyone who has ever worked in bars with no-neck, arrogant-for-no-reason wankers, with no brain function other than the tiny amount required to raise a beer to their filthy mouths after a shift.

donna (donna), Friday, 29 November 2002 04:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hurrah for it is the last day of the CompulsiveEatingBurpingCulotteWearingTactlessJollyCoWorker today!!! What will hopefully be my last annoying conversation with her happened first thing on Wednesday morning:

CEBCWTJCW: Morning Rachel!!! Oooh! What have you done to your NOSE??

Me: What? Oh yeah, it's a spot.

CEBCWTJCW: No! You've cut yourself or something! It's really RED.

Me: No, really, it's just a big, shiny, noticeable spot.

CEBCWTJCW: It looks really BAD!

At this point I gave up all hope of having a good day.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Day one at my new job.

Woman At Next Desk: Oh, you used to live in London? So did I. I moved back after my daughter started school and, to be honest, I'm really glad I did. The education you get in London is terrible.

Madchen: I've heard inner city schools are, er, challenging.

WAND: Oh yes. I mean, she was one of only three white faces in the class.

Madchen: Oh. (Mutters something under her breath about 1 in 4 Scots).

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

My co-worker Oh, I'm not being funny.... but could you only buy your lunch from the shop across the road from now on? When you go anywhere else it takes too long. Maybe you should bring a pack up from home.

Me (in my head): No, fuck off you food fascist. You're the one who is consistantly 15 minutes late back from lunch every day, and I know I'll spend the last hour of the day sitting around doing nothing listening to you go on and on and on so it's not like we're really busy. And God, just never speak to me again!

Me (in reality): Yeah, no problem.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Maddie, immediately invent an obscure food allergy that REQUIRES you to go to a different shop! Oh , and then KILL HER.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

haha, madchen, fuck you! ;)

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:52 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

What the hell? Why, precisely, was that necessary, dwh? Christ on a bike.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:57 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Maddie, your co-worker is EVIL. There's only one place you should go for an off-site lunch and that's THE PUB!

robster (robster), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Rule 2858 in a series of obscure rules:

Office twats who preface statements with 'I'm not being funny' should recognise that everything following the phrase comes with its own virtual kill file.

My other suggestion would be to canvass other coworkers for a pizza delivery one Friday and exclude her blatantly.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:10 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I want to invent a food allergy but then I'd be like her! She's allergic to garlic, alcohol, traffic fumes, manmade fibres, "still air" (this means we have the fan on in the winter so the air circulates and her eyes don't "gum up"), some other stuff that I forgot and, of course, EVER DOING ANY WORK. She is allergic to getting off her arse, I fear.

And the "I'm not being funny/I'm not having a go/I don't want you to take this the wrong way...." rule. I reckon if you have to start a sentence with any of these statements, you shouldn't be saying the sentence at all!

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Oh, and I can't canvass others to share food. There's only me and her in the whole shop. And when it's quiet she talks to me like we're friends but we're not. It's all very unfortunate.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:32 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Haha 'still air'????

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:37 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

This stupid stupid woman sent every single person here an email saying that she left 60 centimes in the coffee machine and asking for whoever finds it to bring it to her office. What a scrooge!

Miss Laura, Friday, 29 November 2002 11:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

it wasn't sincere, liz, it was just a grumble about the allegation that 1/4 of scots are racist, y'know. the 'haha' was meant to temper it, sorry.

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 12:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Allegation? My personal experience is this:

I work in a room with two people. Person 1 said to me all the stuff I wrote above. She thought nothing of saying it to a stranger (the assumption, I guess, being that I would think the same). Person 2 laughed along merrily. Also, I have come across numerous people in Glasgow who tell me they get scared in London because there are so many black people around. Again, the way they express themselves implies they feel no sense of shame whatsoever - they just don't see there's anything wrong in expressing obviously prejudiced opinions.

I'm not denying for a second that racism doesn't exist elsewhere (and I'm not forgetting that the survey found 3 in 4 Scots aren't racist) but this is the only place I've encountered bigots who have the expectation that my opinion must be the same as theirs.

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 13:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Try the deli counter at S**n**ury's. I get so many customers who expect me to agree with their racist opinions simply because I am white. Twats.

alix (alix), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

e-mail from my boss: "when I came in on Monday, the Threepenny Opera files were not online. I expect that when I assign a task that it will be completed. Don't let this happen in the future."

reply from me: "actually, on Friday we both determined that we had the wrong CD and would have to special order a new copy. On Monday."

reply from my boss: "There must have been some miscommunication here."

yeah, between your ears and your brain. moron!

Dave M. (rotten03), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Suzy, you aren't generalising wildly enough: yes, anyone who says "I'm not being funny, but" is best punched, hard and often, but this applies to most other sentences on the "I'm not being [X], but" model. X=racist obviously means "I am a loathsome racist", most obviously and clearly. Try 'sexist' or 'nasty' too.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:18 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Happily I've been blessed with a slew of great co-workers. I will say that some years back the news that someone was departing from our neck of the woods to go elsewhere was greeted with quiet relief, though.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Maddy, if she's your boss and only other co-worker then it sounds like she needs you more than you need her. POINTEDLY go to other shops to get your lunch. I say ignore the instruction.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:55 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Annoying Coworker: Yes, well, that account would be able to fund your entity if you hadn't taken money from it without telling me.
Me: What?
Annoying Coworker: (holds up wire) See? $147,000 from my account.
Me: No, we gave you money.
Annoying Coworker WHO GETS PAID LOTS MORE THAN ME: NO YOU DID NOT. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't write wires without telling me in the future.
Me: Did you look at this? You account is on the credit side. Management (nb: my account) is on the debit side!
Annoying Coworker: Whatever, just don't do it again.

What the fuck?

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

one month passes...
We've got two new people here this year - one of whom is very cool and I hardly see, so we get along really well. The other one, though - a nightmare. She's the epitome of simpering little girl-ness, speaks to me (and most everyone else) as though I'm a retarded child when in fact I've been doing the job that she's just begun (and is completely incompetent at, I might add) for 12 years. She's one of those people who has never met anyone as fascinating as herself in all of her born days and if she doesn't calm down, stop being a stupid bitch and stop second guessing every word I say to her, I will hit her in the head with a brick.

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 19:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

The receptionist keeps telling everyone she's going through post partum depression.

Despite the fact that she's obviously still pregnant.

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:47 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

My head hurts.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

How about the dumbass cockfarmer that came into the library coughing and sneezing in such an ostentatious way it's like he intentionally planned a big Outbreak scenario? Now I'm at home running a fever and I think I might have bronchitis again.

Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hm. Find him and kill him.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I was depressed about being unemployed until I saw this thread. Thank you everyone. :)

fractal (fractal), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I was also informed that I wasn't authorized to approve payment on technological items.

However, I AM authorized to purchase them, however I want, whenever I want.

What does that even mean?

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

It means you got the kingdom, you got the key. Order yourself everything you ever wanted and don't share.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

people should post more on this thread. i like it.

Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 04:23 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

What follows is an email that was sent to some friends last spring, after a particularly bad morning with co-workers.

SUBJECT LINE: I gotta get outta this place
...if it's the last thing I ever do (feel free to hum along.)

After a delightful morning spent discussing why someone:
1. Shouldn't open a printer paperfeed drawer, while the printer is printing;
2. Shouldn't send emails to everyone on their mailing lists about Church-related emails;
3. Should let others know when they need the printer instead of deleting documents in the queue;
4. Shouldn't tell someone "this is urgent" so they work really late to get it finished, when really, it isn't urgent at all and in fact, doesn't need to be done at all; and
5. Shouldn't take someone else's lunch from the refrigerator and leave it on the counter to make room for "extra drinks in case we have visitors,"
I have now experienced the conversation to top them all (and really, you have to laugh at this one. I did. Once I calmed down, imbibed chocolate and nicotine, and thought "well, at least it's not quantum physics?). So....here it is:

A Dialogue between "M" (yours truly) and "S" (Otherwise known as Scarett/Princess/Arch Nemesis/The Scarf Lady/etc.)
S: Hey "M"!
M: Yes?
S: You know how to work that digital camera yet?
M: Yeah, figured it out last week.
S: How long does it take to get those photos developed?
M: What?
S: I need some photos really fast, so I can photocopy them and make notes on the back. And get duplicates too, in case they get messed-up.
M: What? What pictures do you need taken?
S: I need to you take pictures of my computer.
M: Why?
S: I need to know what's on my computer.
M: (sigh) You are looking for a file?
S: No, I need to know what is on my screen thing.
M: (dawning awareness) You need screen captures?
S: No, I need pictures of my computer.
M: For....?
S: I need to know what's on my screen, 'cause these instructions don't make sense and I want to make notes.
M: Okay, then you need a picture of the information on your screen, that you can print and add notes to?
S: Yes.
M: Okay, we don't need the camera for that. We can just do screen captures. It's easy.
(M walks over to other office, taking deep and soothing breathes all the while, and explains how to "CTRL+ALT+PrtScn" - runs into trouble with explanation of holding down all keys at the same time. Eventually resolved and screen is captured.)
M: Now open Word and set the page to ?Landscape.?
S: My computer won't do that.
M: What? Yes it will.
(M goes through brief discussion of "portrait" vs "landscape" and how to perform operation in Word. Discovers part of problem is that S doesn?t know how to open Word because the icon isn?t on her desktop.)
M: Now just hit "Shift+Insert" and your screen shot will be inserted.
M: No, you need to hold down both keys at the same time.
M: I don't know, that's just the way the program is designed.
M: Yeah, it is find of frustrating.
M: Okay, now you have it. Just insert a new page for each of the next screen captures and then print the file.
(M returns to own desk and gets back into rhythm of formatting proposal.)
S: M! It isn't working. I want you to take the pictures for me.
M: I don't have time to take the pictures right now, I have to get this back to _____.
S: Well, I don't have the time to use the camera, so I guess this won't get done and _____ will be mad.
M: Yeah, I guess ___ will be mad, but I'll explain the problem to him.
S: Can't you do these thingys for me?
M: No, not right now. I have to get this done.
S: You know, it's your job to do this.
M: No, actually it isn't. I am sorry, but I really can't do it right now. If I have time later I'll come over and see what we can do. In the meantime, why don't you look under the "Help" menu to see if those instructions are better.
S: Oh, my computer doesn't have any "Help" on it. I keep telling ____ he needs to fix it, but he won't.

(M decides, for sake of sanity, to not try and figure out what that last comment means and returns to her editing, swearing all the while.)
End of original email.

And here are additional interesting tidbits about ?S?:
She claimed on her resume to be ?Microsoft Certified,? but was unable to explain what that meant;
She wrote all of her correspondence in Excel, because she didn?t know how to open Word (the icon wasn?t on her desktop);
When she came into work each morning, she made herself a pot of tea and sat in her cubicle reading household decorating magazines and drinking tea for the first two hours: and, best of all
She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she ?didn?t want to fill it up with things? (and it was a 20 G HD!) File was eventually determined, by her, to be on a floppy. But floppy was blank when co-worker opened it. Eventually ?S? showed supervisor where she stored all of her floppys containing important info. She was attaching them to the metal parts of her cubicle with large magnets, so she ?could always find them.?

~ Laura (who is thankful that she can claim to be a happy rat, that abandoned the sinking ship in time to move to a much cushier and affluent ship, and is now ridiculously happy with things)

LCD (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 05:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she "didn't want to fill it up with things" (and it was a 20 G HD!)

I've met a few people who have done basic "computer literacy" courses at colleges and Adult Ed. places who do this. What seems to happen is: the college says "don't store your files on the hard drive [of our lab computers], use a floppy" and the person absorbs this without understanding *why* they're being told it.

These sort of courses always seem to produce people who can't do anything except exactly what was on the course, and then only if their computer is set up exactly like the college ones were. Hence, not being able to start Word if it doesn't have a desktop icon.

(of course, the other stuff shows that this person seems to be a fuckwit regardless of that)

caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 10:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Laura, that's fantastic.

The ex-receptionist at my office once printed out an email so she could type it up in Word.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:02 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

is that why she's an ex-receptionist?

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

awwwwww, usually this stuff would make me mad, but today i want to find them all and help them and give them tea.

it's a sappy day.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Heh, you'd think so wouldn't you. In actual fact, it wasn't until she went on holiday for 6 weeks and nobody noticed her absence that it became the MD realised that we could do without her.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

sounds familiar - we had a Communications Executive who never did any communicating.

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:54 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

We also had an account executive who used to wander around the office to kill time. He had this time-consuming trick of getting up from his desk and finding a bin in another part of the building to throw his litter into (rather than the bin under his desk). Another trick was to go down to the fax machine to send a fax, return to his desk, wait a couple of minutes and then return to the fax machine to collect the piece of paper.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

One of my new colleagues is, to all intents and purposes, Jade. I quote:

1. "What does agriculture mean?"

2. "I was so annoyed. Someone threw themselves under my tube yesterday. People that do that must be mad."

3. Me: "Just tell them to put the web address in and it will take them straight into the site."

Her: "What address? Their address?"

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I can't decide whether to post this to the annoying colleague or the B.O. thread, so I'm going to post it to both! Anyhow, in one office where I worked we had a guy with a B.O. problem and the managers had to have words with him in private on a couple of occasions. And yes, on those rare occasions when my sinuses were clear (one day in seventeen approx) it was quite annoying and offensive to me. However, it was NOT NEARLY AS ANNOYING AND OFFENSIVE as the colleague who used to go on and on about it all the bloody time whenever the guy with the problem walked out of the room! Not only that, but as soon as he left she used to reach for the can of air freshener which she kept on her desk *specially* and spray about a litre of it about the place! So instead of an office smelling of sweat we had an office reeking of air freshener!

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 13:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Mailroom guy who looks like a troglodyte - "I wanted 'digical'[pronounced thus] TV cuz I don't have enough channels! They were supposed to install it on Friday but they didn't - the whole weekend I had nuthin' to do! I was really looking forward to it too!"

dave q, Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:21 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

i don't want to help any of those people, though. far too annoying. the previous lot were quite sweet.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I pretty much get along with my immediate co-workers, and none of them are so annoying that I can't tune them out. However, I once shared an office with a foot fetishist. No kidding; he was friggin' profiled in the Village Voice about it, and was completely calm and collected when I mentioned "so I saw the Voice today..."! I guess we all have our private interests, but we don't all alert the press about it!

Other things he did: worked at his cube standing up (making everyone around him very tense), unbuttoned his shirts halfway down his chest, commented on every phone conversation I had (work related or not), talked to himself, and played horrible CD-Rs of cabaret tunes he wrote and produced. I think the whole experience inoculated me against ever being annoyed by co-workers again.

mike a (mike a), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 16:14 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Okay, here's another example from today. We had a sales rep come in to demo a software package/online service that provides journal content. Anyhoo, I did a sample search, and one of the citations that got brought up was from an Ethiopian journal. She said (in all seriousness): "Wow! I didn't think that Ethiopians even had any paper, let alone journals!"

Unfortunately something this stupid is uttered in my office at least once a day...

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

The amount of coworkers you've killed in your head must make quite the body count.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:54 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

You have no idea. Entire populations have been erased.

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"As the final screams echoed away into caverns of oblivion, Nicole turned off her death rays and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. 'Should I have used so much napalm?'"

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:57 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

only fair criticisms if we are open and honest about our own verbal foibles tbh

tired culché (darraghmac), Saturday, 16 June 2018 10:33 (one month ago) Permalink

Ex.: I use the phrase 'verbal foibles' way too much. But it just feels fun to say it, is all.

Gladys McFlatus (Old Lunch), Saturday, 16 June 2018 13:29 (one month ago) Permalink

I hate it when you make a one-off stupid mistake & someone is like

“Was there a change in policy that I don’t know about? Let me know if the SOP been revised & I need to change my request format?” ...blah blah blah


Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 June 2018 21:38 (four weeks ago) Permalink

oh sorry i am that other person

idk if i've ever gone that far in assuming literally everything i thought i knew was incorrect and bad though

flamenco blorf (BradNelson), Monday, 18 June 2018 21:46 (four weeks ago) Permalink

"Was there a change in policy? I'm so sorry if I submitted this incorrectly" = I know you fucked up and I want to rub your nose in it until you weep because I hate you, nothing personal it's the job that turns us all into monsters

mick signals, Monday, 18 June 2018 22:01 (four weeks ago) Permalink

otm, it's pure pass agg, I like my manager, but he sometimes goes down this path and it's not cool

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 18 June 2018 23:24 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Hey, ol' TB Sheets across the way is at it again, choking up what sounds like hunks of lung every few minutes. Pretty sure he very nearly barfed on himself a little while ago. And, oh hey, is that the beginning of a scratchy throat I'm feeling? Could it be that after numerous failed attempts over the last several months of carefully nurturing a series of recurring illness he's finally managed to share his gift of with me? Fuck yeh, bro, can't wait.

Gladys McFlatus (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 17:35 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Just got done listening to my coworker lie yet again to a vendor over the phone.

The vendor then called me and said, "Why does she lie to me like that? Does she think I'm stupid? I might be but my lawyers are NOT."

Joe Gargan (dandydonweiner), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 17:43 (three weeks ago) Permalink

That sounds like potentially a serious problem?!

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 20 June 2018 23:08 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Nowhere else to put this, but. . . uhmm. . . one of my coworkers uses the term "mental retardation" when discussing some clients. This person isn't using it in a derogatory way, they are actually trying to describe another person's condition. But, it just doesn't seem right to use such an antiquated term that has such harsh connotations. It's especially wrong for my coworker to use it, considering the nature of our jobs. My coworker really should know better. I've thought about correcting them each and every time they've used it, but I just don't have the self-discipline required to approach the situation assertively and respectfully.

(V) (°,,,,°) (V) (Austin), Thursday, 21 June 2018 15:44 (three weeks ago) Permalink

My company serves a lot of businesses that still have 'retarded' or 'retardation' (in the context you mention) as part of their business name. Although many of them now do business under an abbreviation. It's always kinda stunning to realize how widespread the usage still is.

Rep. Bob Excellentfrappuccino (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 June 2018 15:53 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Sheesh, that just doesn't seem right.

(V) (°,,,,°) (V) (Austin), Thursday, 21 June 2018 16:23 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Ugh my opposite-desk coworker smokes those illegal chop-chop black market handmade cigs, and when he comes back to his desk he smells FOUL, like a 3-week-old filthy ashtray. Not like "ugh a smoker!", it is way way worse, it is so gross.

And I'm a smoker!

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 22 June 2018 01:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

As a person very sensitive to cigarette smoke and lingering cigarette smells, that sounds awful.

Maybe, as a smoker, you can answer this: what is the appeal of the black market tobacco?

(V) (°,,,,°) (V) (Austin), Friday, 22 June 2018 03:17 (three weeks ago) Permalink

let me just throw a guess out there before Trayce corrects me: it’s cheaper

mh, Friday, 22 June 2018 03:46 (three weeks ago) Permalink

It is INSANELY cheaper. We pay incredibly high taxes for smokes here. A pack of 30 would cost about $35 depending where you get em.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 22 June 2018 03:50 (three weeks ago) Permalink

But thats not enough of a motivation for me to ever try em, given this stench :/

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 22 June 2018 03:50 (three weeks ago) Permalink

they’re made of ground-up cigarette butts and dog poop but you get a harsh buzz

mh, Friday, 22 June 2018 03:57 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I think they're actually made from the dried, shredded lungs of deceased smokers

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Friday, 22 June 2018 04:17 (three weeks ago) Permalink

not sure if qualitative difference

mh, Friday, 22 June 2018 14:00 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Email went out this morning containing an invoice from a photo shoot; it was clearly meant for our Accounts Payable dept. but was sent to a company-wide mailing list instead. I get an inordinate amount of pleasure from people's reactions to this sort of thing. Can't decide if my favorite is paranoid Stephen, relieved Jamie, or baffled Kathryn. Love that Pat refers to Martha as Hannah. I think Rachel finally put a stop to it.

Please upload
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Please find attached a recent prop hire invoice. 
Many Thanks

Sorry – wrong email address. Please ignore.

Sorry I don't think this was meant to come to me

Dear Martha,
I have no idea what this is about?

Me neither....

Sounds like spam. Do not open.

Martha has already responded saying this was directed to the wrong address. You can delete it from your inbox and ignore it.

Guys- She already responded saying she sent it to the wrong email. Stop replying.

Hi guys
You obviously did not receive the second e-mail from Hannah immediately following the first one.
It was sent by mistake and can be ignored. see screen dump below.

I was wondering!
Sent from my iPhone

Sorry All, but I do not code UK invoices.
Hi Laura,
Would you know who would get this?

I'm afraid I am also at a loss!
I have not ordered any lacquered wooden bowls recently

Could we please stop 'replying all' to this email chain.
Many thanks

early rejecter, Friday, 22 June 2018 14:32 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Hi, I think you posted this in the wrong thread? I'm not sure how to help you with your story about people who bafflingly 'reply all' to emails. Sorry!

Rep. Bob Excellentfrappuccino (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 June 2018 14:37 (three weeks ago) Permalink

My favorite is always the 50 follow-up reply-all emails that scold everyone about clicking reply-all.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 22 June 2018 14:55 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Those really are the best.

(Side story: People outside of the company who send an email to one of my work addresses receive an automated reply to let them know that their inquiry was received along with various details of what we need from them in order to proceed. People do occasionally respond to these autoreplies as if they're being sent by a real live boy, but they usually only do it the once because, y'know, after receiving an identical response twice in a row, it's fairly clear what's going on. Or so I assumed, until a couple weeks back when someone who was apparently in the middle of a nervous breakdown responded to the autoreply no less than three or four times in less than an hour, each time seeming more panicked and despondent. Her final email was something like 'I don't understand, do you just want me to leave you alone?!' Yes. Yes, I do.)

Secret Peanut (Old Lunch), Friday, 22 June 2018 15:05 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Oh man, I absolutely love the company-wide emails that get caught up in the "reply all" loop. Of course, my favorites are the condescending morons who tell everyone to stop hitting "reply all" by ingeniously clicking "reply all" in order to do so.

But, I'd also like to rep for the gloriously oblivious, "Please remove me from this mailing list!" lot, all of whom I'd like to personally meet and shake hands with.

(V) (°,,,,°) (V) (Austin), Saturday, 23 June 2018 03:44 (three weeks ago) Permalink

both latter are valid and correct and nevessary responses

tired culché (darraghmac), Saturday, 23 June 2018 09:04 (three weeks ago) Permalink

It's probably best to confidently 'reply all' to the inquiry in question with a solution which is completely wrong.

A Frankenstein + A Dracula + A Mummy That's Been Werewolfed (Old Lunch), Saturday, 23 June 2018 12:50 (three weeks ago) Permalink

There's a woman in my office who has a "Do Not Disturb" sign tacked permanently to her door. She never takes it down.

the word dog doesn't bark (anagram), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 14:09 (two weeks ago) Permalink


Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 14:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink

My company serves a lot of businesses that still have 'retarded' or 'retardation' (in the context you mention) as part of their business name.


Also, I found this while perusing the MS style guide and couldn't help but bleakly chuckle.


Simon H., Tuesday, 26 June 2018 14:14 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I was thinking specifically of this org: https://www.thearc.org/who-we-are/history/name-change

It seems that the memo hasn't yet made its way to some of their regional chapters.

A Frankenstein + A Dracula + A Mummy That's Been Werewolfed (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 14:38 (two weeks ago) Permalink

New job has been wonderful. Company as a whole is still fairly dumb.

This week, I got asked to teach a course somewhat last minute,but I didn't mind as I'd taught it previously. When the roster came in, I had a suspicion, and on Day 2 confirmed that suspicion - that 6 of the learners didn't have the prerequisite knowledge to even be in the class (they were supposed to have already learned how to use a specific call handling system and reference tools, of which they had no knowledge).

My course is a 4.5 day course - the course they would need is an 11 day version, one I've never taught. So I brought this up to the powers that be while doing my best to make adjustments to my course, and got basically asked "can you just...extend the course and keep teaching next week".

to which I said....no.

the days go by a lot faster now that I'm no longer salaried too. which I love.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 June 2018 22:42 (two weeks ago) Permalink

found this in a staff area earlier, had to stifle my laughter while reading it


Neil S, Friday, 29 June 2018 11:45 (two weeks ago) Permalink

haha oh man.

raspberry swirl (Ross), Friday, 29 June 2018 11:47 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Makes me want to pick a glass up, one with something strong in it.

Tim, Friday, 29 June 2018 12:12 (two weeks ago) Permalink

And make it lighter.

nickn, Friday, 29 June 2018 16:29 (two weeks ago) Permalink

put the glass down, smash it against the table, stab it into the signmaker

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 30 June 2018 16:26 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I suspect I commented on you a month ago but FUCK YOU ANONYMISED CO-WORKER CUNT. We could have made this project a success but you would rather have done fuck all and tomorrow, on your final day, you're going to slope shoulders and make you having done nothing my problem since I'm here for the next 4 weeks while you're in Disneyland.

What you don't know is I've been mailing your new boss ALL WEEK (since your company ended up as part of ours and he was my boss already) showing where you'd been deceiving him and lying to the customer. I HOPE HE SACKS YOU AND YOU END UP DESTITUTE YOU FUCKER.

Now I just need to work out how to do 12 man weeks activity in 3 weeks with one man.

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Tuesday, 3 July 2018 06:51 (one week ago) Permalink

Aldo, you took on the new 52, you can survive this.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 00:17 (one week ago) Permalink

Took the next steps today after another row in the office. Email to people working on the project telling them how we're going forward based on decisions I made this afternoon/evening and another one to our shared management pointing out how workshy he's been and the only effort he's put in is noting conversations he wants to use to claim failure isn't his fault.

He flies home tomorrow, he might be having a packet of crisps and a wank for dinner for all I know as I'm out on my own. He took a taxi back to the hotel as soon as we stopped arguing, I walked back and composed the emails in my head then typed them before coming out to eat.

By making the decisions I have I've raised success rates from single figures to approaching 50%. A firm hand over the other people working on it will increase that further. I'm actually more relaxed than I was yesterday.

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 08:07 (one week ago) Permalink

I'm at the stage that if they backed him over me then I would go back to my old place that sacked me at the beginning of the year - they've already asked and the guy that sacked me has gone.

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 08:08 (one week ago) Permalink

Working with other people is one of the most unnatural things possible. It’s like a screen door on a submarine. Every job I’ve worked at has been littered with shit heads

Ross, Wednesday, 4 July 2018 14:08 (one week ago) Permalink

So, last week at work, I was, for the third time in my life, the target of anti-semitism ... despite being a gentile.

It's a very strange situation which I'm currently processing, and mulling over whether I report the colleague or not. Perhaps you lot could advise.

The situation is, crowded corridor full of people leaving at end of day; someone has sprayed aftershave around, someone else glares at me then says 'Smells of Jew' and melts into the crowd laughing.

Now the person in question is a Muslim (this is happening in Britain, for context, during some seasonal work which involves shifting stuff around in a sort of warehouse environment) who appears to be part of a bit of a boy's club slightly separate from the rest of the other, perfectly nice Asian people who work there. This boy's club I've overheard discussing 9-11 conspiracy theories a couple of times as well as being laddish and 'banter' in general and not doing a lot of work (even by my standards). I believe they have in general identified me as someone who is a loser because I turn up and do the work.

The other two times previously were in a different workplace and from a dodgy housemate respectively. White people both times, both fellows prone to their conspiracy theories though which appears to be the link.

I don't know if it's something to do with wearing glasses, or something to do with me being very distantly latin american but really that's only visible if you squint at me, I think. Some sephardic ancestry is hinted at in the official family biography (written in high-toned spanish in the 1890s by my preposterous Andean ancestors) but I'd think anything visual is so slight as to be unnoticeable - other than glasses. Maybe they just shout stuff at people who wear glasses hoping to score a hit?

I feel somewhat individually targeted here, although I suspect the aim is to create that feeling, so I'm putting it to one side. I'm more bothered, as with people using 'gay' as a pejorative, about what happens when they use it at someone who actually has the identity, and that someone or ones is/are walking round my place of work making it unwelcoming to Jews. It is mostly giving me quite a bit to think about rather than bothering me, but is also bothering me.

Was unsure what thread to put this on. We have the 'Is this ...' thread, but then this obviously is. The 'Real England' thread is another contender. But the behaviour is certainly stupid and annoying and done by co-workers. Must stress that I have other, high value Muslim colleagues (we have lengthy conversations about Alfred Hitchcock movies and cooking etc) who seem to be in a separate social group to this lot.

Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 21:40 (one week ago) Permalink

how old are they? whether or not I'd report it would depend on how I thought it would be handled

ogmor, Wednesday, 4 July 2018 21:48 (one week ago) Permalink

nobody should be targeted with discrimination, report it

Ross, Wednesday, 4 July 2018 22:14 (one week ago) Permalink

are you in an union?

Ross, Wednesday, 4 July 2018 22:15 (one week ago) Permalink

If that's what going on a busy corridor then I hate to think what is said behind closed doors. You might not get the person to become tolerant and you might not be able to get rid of them but you can certainly make it as uncomfortable for them as they made you feel, and it means that were a situation were to arise where this person had power over eg hiring and firing, then they would have probably a level of accountability necessary to demonstrably show no prejudicial bias.

boxedjoy, Wednesday, 4 July 2018 22:48 (one week ago) Permalink

Also the intent behind calling someone a Jew (I can't believe I'm typing these words) might be less to do with appearance and more to do with traits

boxedjoy, Wednesday, 4 July 2018 22:52 (one week ago) Permalink

I probably would've just knocked their lights out, though that might not be the optimal career move. I'm thankful that I haven't run into a lot of open anti-Semitism in my lifetime. Maybe it's more of a thing in the UK?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 22:53 (one week ago) Permalink

Thanks folks.

This group are young, say 19-23-ish. I've got about a decade on them I would say.

Something actually came up today - the boy's club I mentioned before have been messing around to such an extent that the pretty chill manager (himself a Muslim) has had to bollock everyone 4 times now with increasing severity, including a moment today where we had to work in silence 10am-5pm due to errors getting in because of them sitting around talking. I have an email for this manager and might compose a few drafts over the weekend. Keep it statement of fact. Suspect the boy's club are not long for the job.

I think part of the problem is that this is a summer job. A lot of people are students or otherwise not expecting to work here long term. There are permanent jobs here I would definitely go for though so am taking it quite seriously on the grounds of, make good impression, raise chance of getting permanent job. For these guys I think it's basically, this is something not very serious to do before going back to their business degree hence the tooling about and I suppose the outright prejudice. It is in fact the kind of job where friendly chat is quite possible, I do plenty of it with my team, it's just we're not tooling about.

Never changed username before (cardamon), Friday, 6 July 2018 19:17 (one week ago) Permalink

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