Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Girl I work with is chatting to a male customer in friendly fashion as she serves him. He leaves, then me and her have this conversation.

Annoying Girl: "I hope people don't get the wrong idea!"
Me: "Eh?"
AG: "About me and the guy. I hope people don't start thinking we're going out, just because I'm friendly to him when he comes in."
Me: "Eh, I don't think people will assume that."
AG: "You don't think the bosses would fire me for it? You know, for being too friendly with the customers?"
Me: "Eh, no." (Thinking: Christ Almighty!)
AG: "I'm really worried now. They wouldn't fire me for it, would they?"
Me: "I doubt it."

A few minutes pass...

AG: "I'm still really worried. They wouldn't fire me, would they?"
Me: "NO!" (Thinking: leave me alone, you neurotic freak!)

Then this crazy elderly man, a regular customer, comes in. He was in a car accident which left him, (how shall I put this?), barking mad. He thinks he's a real estate owner, and I'm one of his tenants, despite the fact that he asks me for money for tobacco every time he comes in. He proceeds to tell the annoying girl about all the houses he owns, and how I am one of his tenants etc, etc, while drooling and smelling terrible! He leaves.

AG: (genuinely) "Was that true, what he was saying?"
Me: "Oh my, no."
AG: "It could have been..."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it wasn't" (Thinking: Christ! I think I'd know if I was one of his tenants!)
AG: "Appearances can be deceptive..."
Me: "No, I'm pretty sure he's barking mad."
AG: "But-"
Me: "NO!"

It was a long day at work. I feel better now I've got it off my chest! Now it's your turn to bitch.

What makes it even more irritating is that she's a very NICE person. No harm in her at all, just really annoying and stupid. So I feel bad for bitching about her, yet I am compelled to do so!

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:19 (sixteen years ago) link

One of the managers at the petrol station once called me outside for a smoke and to talk to me, it was a bit like the Warden Norton/Tommy scene in Shawshank Redemption.

Boss:"Ronan could you comb your hair next time you come to work"


Me:"eh in fairness the contract doesn't say anything about me having to comb my hair"

Boss:"yeah but I mean you're a student now yeah? this job isn't so bad. they look after you well, it's a good wage, I'm happy with my lot"

Me:"I don't think there's any chance of me ever working here for a living, long term"

Boss:"Yeah and they pay your health insurance, it's not too difficult a job either"

Me:"Yeah no I'm never going to want to work here, to be honest I was planning on quitting as soon as I start college, or maybe even sooner, you needn't tell the main boss that"

Boss:"Oh don't worry, whatever is discussed here stays here. *long David Brent style lecture* I know what it's like to work WITH people and AROUND people, and I know that this station is not being run as effectively as possible, it's a clique, and I'm sure you can see that too Ronan. But quitting isn't going to change that. You quitting will not make this a smoother operation.

Me:"Eh I don't care about this job, I'm not sure what your point is"

Boss:"All I'm saying is, think about what I've said to you yeah? Just think about it"

Me:"............ok"

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:45 (sixteen years ago) link

Is it only DCU students who work with stupid, annoying people?

DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 28 November 2002 23:50 (sixteen years ago) link

no, its anyone who has ever worked in bars with no-neck, arrogant-for-no-reason wankers, with no brain function other than the tiny amount required to raise a beer to their filthy mouths after a shift.

donna (donna), Friday, 29 November 2002 04:26 (sixteen years ago) link

Hurrah for it is the last day of the CompulsiveEatingBurpingCulotteWearingTactlessJollyCoWorker today!!! What will hopefully be my last annoying conversation with her happened first thing on Wednesday morning:

CEBCWTJCW: Morning Rachel!!! Oooh! What have you done to your NOSE??

Me: What? Oh yeah, it's a spot.

CEBCWTJCW: No! You've cut yourself or something! It's really RED.

Me: No, really, it's just a big, shiny, noticeable spot.

CEBCWTJCW: It looks really BAD!

At this point I gave up all hope of having a good day.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:17 (sixteen years ago) link

Day one at my new job.

Woman At Next Desk: Oh, you used to live in London? So did I. I moved back after my daughter started school and, to be honest, I'm really glad I did. The education you get in London is terrible.

Madchen: I've heard inner city schools are, er, challenging.

WAND: Oh yes. I mean, she was one of only three white faces in the class.

Madchen: Oh. (Mutters something under her breath about 1 in 4 Scots).

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:26 (sixteen years ago) link

My co-worker Oh, I'm not being funny.... but could you only buy your lunch from the shop across the road from now on? When you go anywhere else it takes too long. Maybe you should bring a pack up from home.

Me (in my head): No, fuck off you food fascist. You're the one who is consistantly 15 minutes late back from lunch every day, and I know I'll spend the last hour of the day sitting around doing nothing listening to you go on and on and on so it's not like we're really busy. And God, just never speak to me again!

Me (in reality): Yeah, no problem.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:29 (sixteen years ago) link

Maddie, immediately invent an obscure food allergy that REQUIRES you to go to a different shop! Oh , and then KILL HER.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:50 (sixteen years ago) link

haha, madchen, fuck you! ;)

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:52 (sixteen years ago) link

What the hell? Why, precisely, was that necessary, dwh? Christ on a bike.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Maddie, your co-worker is EVIL. There's only one place you should go for an off-site lunch and that's THE PUB!

robster (robster), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Rule 2858 in a series of obscure rules:

Office twats who preface statements with 'I'm not being funny' should recognise that everything following the phrase comes with its own virtual kill file.

My other suggestion would be to canvass other coworkers for a pizza delivery one Friday and exclude her blatantly.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:10 (sixteen years ago) link

I want to invent a food allergy but then I'd be like her! She's allergic to garlic, alcohol, traffic fumes, manmade fibres, "still air" (this means we have the fan on in the winter so the air circulates and her eyes don't "gum up"), some other stuff that I forgot and, of course, EVER DOING ANY WORK. She is allergic to getting off her arse, I fear.

And the "I'm not being funny/I'm not having a go/I don't want you to take this the wrong way...." rule. I reckon if you have to start a sentence with any of these statements, you shouldn't be saying the sentence at all!

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh, and I can't canvass others to share food. There's only me and her in the whole shop. And when it's quiet she talks to me like we're friends but we're not. It's all very unfortunate.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:32 (sixteen years ago) link

Haha 'still air'????

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:37 (sixteen years ago) link

This stupid stupid woman sent every single person here an email saying that she left 60 centimes in the coffee machine and asking for whoever finds it to bring it to her office. What a scrooge!

Miss Laura, Friday, 29 November 2002 11:58 (sixteen years ago) link

it wasn't sincere, liz, it was just a grumble about the allegation that 1/4 of scots are racist, y'know. the 'haha' was meant to temper it, sorry.

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 12:39 (sixteen years ago) link

Allegation? My personal experience is this:

I work in a room with two people. Person 1 said to me all the stuff I wrote above. She thought nothing of saying it to a stranger (the assumption, I guess, being that I would think the same). Person 2 laughed along merrily. Also, I have come across numerous people in Glasgow who tell me they get scared in London because there are so many black people around. Again, the way they express themselves implies they feel no sense of shame whatsoever - they just don't see there's anything wrong in expressing obviously prejudiced opinions.

I'm not denying for a second that racism doesn't exist elsewhere (and I'm not forgetting that the survey found 3 in 4 Scots aren't racist) but this is the only place I've encountered bigots who have the expectation that my opinion must be the same as theirs.

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 13:17 (sixteen years ago) link

Try the deli counter at S**n**ury's. I get so many customers who expect me to agree with their racist opinions simply because I am white. Twats.

alix (alix), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:42 (sixteen years ago) link

e-mail from my boss: "when I came in on Monday, the Threepenny Opera files were not online. I expect that when I assign a task that it will be completed. Don't let this happen in the future."

reply from me: "actually, on Friday we both determined that we had the wrong CD and would have to special order a new copy. On Monday."

reply from my boss: "There must have been some miscommunication here."

yeah, between your ears and your brain. moron!

Dave M. (rotten03), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:56 (sixteen years ago) link

Suzy, you aren't generalising wildly enough: yes, anyone who says "I'm not being funny, but" is best punched, hard and often, but this applies to most other sentences on the "I'm not being [X], but" model. X=racist obviously means "I am a loathsome racist", most obviously and clearly. Try 'sexist' or 'nasty' too.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:18 (sixteen years ago) link

Happily I've been blessed with a slew of great co-workers. I will say that some years back the news that someone was departing from our neck of the woods to go elsewhere was greeted with quiet relief, though.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Maddy, if she's your boss and only other co-worker then it sounds like she needs you more than you need her. POINTEDLY go to other shops to get your lunch. I say ignore the instruction.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:55 (sixteen years ago) link

Annoying Coworker: Yes, well, that account would be able to fund your entity if you hadn't taken money from it without telling me.
Me: What?
Annoying Coworker: (holds up wire) See? $147,000 from my account.
Me: No, we gave you money.
Annoying Coworker WHO GETS PAID LOTS MORE THAN ME: NO YOU DID NOT. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't write wires without telling me in the future.
Me: Did you look at this? You account is on the credit side. Management (nb: my account) is on the debit side!
Annoying Coworker: Whatever, just don't do it again.

What the fuck?

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:50 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...
We've got two new people here this year - one of whom is very cool and I hardly see, so we get along really well. The other one, though - a nightmare. She's the epitome of simpering little girl-ness, speaks to me (and most everyone else) as though I'm a retarded child when in fact I've been doing the job that she's just begun (and is completely incompetent at, I might add) for 12 years. She's one of those people who has never met anyone as fascinating as herself in all of her born days and if she doesn't calm down, stop being a stupid bitch and stop second guessing every word I say to her, I will hit her in the head with a brick.

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 19:26 (sixteen years ago) link

The receptionist keeps telling everyone she's going through post partum depression.

Despite the fact that she's obviously still pregnant.

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:47 (sixteen years ago) link

My head hurts.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (sixteen years ago) link

How about the dumbass cockfarmer that came into the library coughing and sneezing in such an ostentatious way it's like he intentionally planned a big Outbreak scenario? Now I'm at home running a fever and I think I might have bronchitis again.

Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Hm. Find him and kill him.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:51 (sixteen years ago) link

I was depressed about being unemployed until I saw this thread. Thank you everyone. :)

fractal (fractal), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:06 (sixteen years ago) link

I was also informed that I wasn't authorized to approve payment on technological items.

However, I AM authorized to purchase them, however I want, whenever I want.

What does that even mean?

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:13 (sixteen years ago) link

It means you got the kingdom, you got the key. Order yourself everything you ever wanted and don't share.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:16 (sixteen years ago) link

people should post more on this thread. i like it.

Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 04:23 (sixteen years ago) link

What follows is an email that was sent to some friends last spring, after a particularly bad morning with co-workers.

SUBJECT LINE: I gotta get outta this place
...if it's the last thing I ever do (feel free to hum along.)

After a delightful morning spent discussing why someone:
1. Shouldn't open a printer paperfeed drawer, while the printer is printing;
2. Shouldn't send emails to everyone on their mailing lists about Church-related emails;
3. Should let others know when they need the printer instead of deleting documents in the queue;
4. Shouldn't tell someone "this is urgent" so they work really late to get it finished, when really, it isn't urgent at all and in fact, doesn't need to be done at all; and
5. Shouldn't take someone else's lunch from the refrigerator and leave it on the counter to make room for "extra drinks in case we have visitors,"
I have now experienced the conversation to top them all (and really, you have to laugh at this one. I did. Once I calmed down, imbibed chocolate and nicotine, and thought "well, at least it's not quantum physics?). So....here it is:

A Dialogue between "M" (yours truly) and "S" (Otherwise known as Scarett/Princess/Arch Nemesis/The Scarf Lady/etc.)
S: Hey "M"!
M: Yes?
S: You know how to work that digital camera yet?
M: Yeah, figured it out last week.
S: How long does it take to get those photos developed?
M: What?
S: I need some photos really fast, so I can photocopy them and make notes on the back. And get duplicates too, in case they get messed-up.
M: What? What pictures do you need taken?
S: I need to you take pictures of my computer.
M: Why?
S: I need to know what's on my computer.
M: (sigh) You are looking for a file?
S: No, I need to know what is on my screen thing.
M: (dawning awareness) You need screen captures?
S: No, I need pictures of my computer.
M: For....?
S: I need to know what's on my screen, 'cause these instructions don't make sense and I want to make notes.
M: Okay, then you need a picture of the information on your screen, that you can print and add notes to?
S: Yes.
M: Okay, we don't need the camera for that. We can just do screen captures. It's easy.
(M walks over to other office, taking deep and soothing breathes all the while, and explains how to "CTRL+ALT+PrtScn" - runs into trouble with explanation of holding down all keys at the same time. Eventually resolved and screen is captured.)
M: Now open Word and set the page to ?Landscape.?
S: My computer won't do that.
M: What? Yes it will.
(M goes through brief discussion of "portrait" vs "landscape" and how to perform operation in Word. Discovers part of problem is that S doesn?t know how to open Word because the icon isn?t on her desktop.)
M: Now just hit "Shift+Insert" and your screen shot will be inserted.
M: No, you need to hold down both keys at the same time.
M: I don't know, that's just the way the program is designed.
M: Yeah, it is find of frustrating.
M: Okay, now you have it. Just insert a new page for each of the next screen captures and then print the file.
(M returns to own desk and gets back into rhythm of formatting proposal.)
S: M! It isn't working. I want you to take the pictures for me.
M: I don't have time to take the pictures right now, I have to get this back to _____.
S: Well, I don't have the time to use the camera, so I guess this won't get done and _____ will be mad.
M: Yeah, I guess ___ will be mad, but I'll explain the problem to him.
S: Can't you do these thingys for me?
M: No, not right now. I have to get this done.
S: You know, it's your job to do this.
M: No, actually it isn't. I am sorry, but I really can't do it right now. If I have time later I'll come over and see what we can do. In the meantime, why don't you look under the "Help" menu to see if those instructions are better.
S: Oh, my computer doesn't have any "Help" on it. I keep telling ____ he needs to fix it, but he won't.

(M decides, for sake of sanity, to not try and figure out what that last comment means and returns to her editing, swearing all the while.)
End of original email.

And here are additional interesting tidbits about ?S?:
She claimed on her resume to be ?Microsoft Certified,? but was unable to explain what that meant;
She wrote all of her correspondence in Excel, because she didn?t know how to open Word (the icon wasn?t on her desktop);
When she came into work each morning, she made herself a pot of tea and sat in her cubicle reading household decorating magazines and drinking tea for the first two hours: and, best of all
She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she ?didn?t want to fill it up with things? (and it was a 20 G HD!) File was eventually determined, by her, to be on a floppy. But floppy was blank when co-worker opened it. Eventually ?S? showed supervisor where she stored all of her floppys containing important info. She was attaching them to the metal parts of her cubicle with large magnets, so she ?could always find them.?

~ Laura (who is thankful that she can claim to be a happy rat, that abandoned the sinking ship in time to move to a much cushier and affluent ship, and is now ridiculously happy with things)

LCD (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 05:13 (sixteen years ago) link

She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she "didn't want to fill it up with things" (and it was a 20 G HD!)

I've met a few people who have done basic "computer literacy" courses at colleges and Adult Ed. places who do this. What seems to happen is: the college says "don't store your files on the hard drive [of our lab computers], use a floppy" and the person absorbs this without understanding *why* they're being told it.

These sort of courses always seem to produce people who can't do anything except exactly what was on the course, and then only if their computer is set up exactly like the college ones were. Hence, not being able to start Word if it doesn't have a desktop icon.

(of course, the other stuff shows that this person seems to be a fuckwit regardless of that)

caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 10:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Laura, that's fantastic.

The ex-receptionist at my office once printed out an email so she could type it up in Word.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:02 (sixteen years ago) link

is that why she's an ex-receptionist?

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:30 (sixteen years ago) link

awwwwww, usually this stuff would make me mad, but today i want to find them all and help them and give them tea.

it's a sappy day.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:42 (sixteen years ago) link

Heh, you'd think so wouldn't you. In actual fact, it wasn't until she went on holiday for 6 weeks and nobody noticed her absence that it became the MD realised that we could do without her.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:48 (sixteen years ago) link

sounds familiar - we had a Communications Executive who never did any communicating.

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:54 (sixteen years ago) link

We also had an account executive who used to wander around the office to kill time. He had this time-consuming trick of getting up from his desk and finding a bin in another part of the building to throw his litter into (rather than the bin under his desk). Another trick was to go down to the fax machine to send a fax, return to his desk, wait a couple of minutes and then return to the fax machine to collect the piece of paper.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:00 (sixteen years ago) link

One of my new colleagues is, to all intents and purposes, Jade. I quote:

1. "What does agriculture mean?"

2. "I was so annoyed. Someone threw themselves under my tube yesterday. People that do that must be mad."

3. Me: "Just tell them to put the web address in and it will take them straight into the site."

Her: "What address? Their address?"

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:06 (sixteen years ago) link

I can't decide whether to post this to the annoying colleague or the B.O. thread, so I'm going to post it to both! Anyhow, in one office where I worked we had a guy with a B.O. problem and the managers had to have words with him in private on a couple of occasions. And yes, on those rare occasions when my sinuses were clear (one day in seventeen approx) it was quite annoying and offensive to me. However, it was NOT NEARLY AS ANNOYING AND OFFENSIVE as the colleague who used to go on and on about it all the bloody time whenever the guy with the problem walked out of the room! Not only that, but as soon as he left she used to reach for the can of air freshener which she kept on her desk *specially* and spray about a litre of it about the place! So instead of an office smelling of sweat we had an office reeking of air freshener!

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 13:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Mailroom guy who looks like a troglodyte - "I wanted 'digical'[pronounced thus] TV cuz I don't have enough channels! They were supposed to install it on Friday but they didn't - the whole weekend I had nuthin' to do! I was really looking forward to it too!"

dave q, Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:21 (sixteen years ago) link

i don't want to help any of those people, though. far too annoying. the previous lot were quite sweet.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:45 (sixteen years ago) link

I pretty much get along with my immediate co-workers, and none of them are so annoying that I can't tune them out. However, I once shared an office with a foot fetishist. No kidding; he was friggin' profiled in the Village Voice about it, and was completely calm and collected when I mentioned "so I saw the Voice today..."! I guess we all have our private interests, but we don't all alert the press about it!

Other things he did: worked at his cube standing up (making everyone around him very tense), unbuttoned his shirts halfway down his chest, commented on every phone conversation I had (work related or not), talked to himself, and played horrible CD-Rs of cabaret tunes he wrote and produced. I think the whole experience inoculated me against ever being annoyed by co-workers again.

mike a (mike a), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 16:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Okay, here's another example from today. We had a sales rep come in to demo a software package/online service that provides journal content. Anyhoo, I did a sample search, and one of the citations that got brought up was from an Ethiopian journal. She said (in all seriousness): "Wow! I didn't think that Ethiopians even had any paper, let alone journals!"

Unfortunately something this stupid is uttered in my office at least once a day...

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:26 (sixteen years ago) link

The amount of coworkers you've killed in your head must make quite the body count.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:54 (sixteen years ago) link

You have no idea. Entire populations have been erased.

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:56 (sixteen years ago) link

"As the final screams echoed away into caverns of oblivion, Nicole turned off her death rays and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. 'Should I have used so much napalm?'"

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:57 (sixteen years ago) link

FWIW I don't advocate firing people willy nilly but like...there's always a toilet that could use a bit of extra scrubbing, manager who probably couldn't manage the intricacies of a three-ring binder.

Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Friday, 1 November 2019 19:10 (one week ago) link

i feel like this site is falling in on itself tbh

deems of internment (darraghmac), Friday, 1 November 2019 19:20 (one week ago) link

ILX is work now?

:(

pomenitul, Friday, 1 November 2019 19:22 (one week ago) link

since 2014 imma say

deems of internment (darraghmac), Friday, 1 November 2019 19:23 (one week ago) link

It feels that way because you're not ranking metal subgenres on ILM.

pomenitul, Friday, 1 November 2019 19:25 (one week ago) link

idk, deems is perhaps disappointed in the lack of nuance itt dedicated to the art of hyperbolic work-related steam expulsion

Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Friday, 1 November 2019 19:25 (one week ago) link

oh im too woke now huh

deems of internment (darraghmac), Friday, 1 November 2019 19:26 (one week ago) link

I've been saying, tone it down my dude

Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Friday, 1 November 2019 19:28 (one week ago) link

Between Facebook, Twitter, reddit and a few other massifs hovering up the time and attention of most potential ILX newcomers, and ILX's heavy reliance on text-based interaction and the generally high level of verbal acuity required to participate, ILX has been slowly sagging and shrinking for a while now. When it finally becomes a ghost town, I'll be one of the last to leave, but I'm thankful the necrosis is not too far advanced, yet. I like the company here.

A is for (Aimless), Friday, 1 November 2019 19:39 (one week ago) link

I've been steadily gnawing at the load-bearing support struts for some time, myself, sorry about that.

Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Friday, 1 November 2019 19:45 (one week ago) link

lol

sorry for rights

― deems of internment (darraghmac), Friday, November 1, 2019 11:37 AM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

yes, lol at this. best thing about being a unionized employee in the public sector is that my ass is basically unfireable

― ت (jim in vancouver), Friday, November 1, 2019 3:01 PM bookmarkflaglink

Has nothing to do with rights deems/jim. Obviously I don't want managers firing motherfuckers for bullshit reasons. That is the good function of our HR.

But they don't let manager terminate people who are legitimately terrible. I had someone on my team who missed every deadline for three years, even after extensions. Who me and others had to finish the massive work they couldn't finish while doing their own job. Who frequently lied and was caught lying. Never got through one project where they completed more than 60% of what was assigned.

The only person on the team who had this problem. Left me working 70 hour weeks doing her job and mine.

But no, we weren't allowed to terminate her.

Keep on taking bad faith reads tho guys it's a gl for ya

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Friday, 1 November 2019 20:14 (one week ago) link

I mean shit I didn't even get a wrist slap for the major code of conduct violation i accidentally committed on a hot mic

you just gonna leave us hanging like that?!

― FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, November 1, 2019 2:24 PM bookmarkflaglink

I was given five minutes notice that the class I was supposed to be relieved from was mine all day while having to simultaneously do another 8 hour assignment. And then I found out my partner hadn't done the favor he had promised to do to help me just take a breath.

My anxiety was going nuts. So I vent to myself, but loudly, "Oh my FUCKING GOD, all I fucking asked you was to do one motherfucking favor but of FUCKING COURSE NOT!"

Surprised to hear rustling over the phone from the learners, who are doing an assignment yet all seemed to start muttering right at the same time I....

Oh shit, I look at the WebEx to check that I muted it, which of course I did, stop being paran...

Oh fuck. Not muted. One angry learner types "Mute your phone, sir!"

Self-reported it to my boss, issued lengthy apology to the class. Waited for the formal discipline that never came.

Boss seemed to think it was nbd. I shoulda at least been written up tho.

I feel like i got lucky due to how busy it was more than intentionally being let off.

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Friday, 1 November 2019 20:30 (one week ago) link

yeah i have dipshit coworkers too. i just am very direct when they fuck up and that keeps most people from being too much of a nuisance

― ت (jim in vancouver), Friday, November 1, 2019 3:09 PM bookmarkflaglink

Lol last time i did that i got a talking to, nice that youre allowed to do it

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Friday, 1 November 2019 20:34 (one week ago) link

I can only laugh today

so I was worried I’d have dumb questions or a derail from my manager’s peer, who works elsewhere, during this meeting. but instead this happens:

three of us in the room, the person doing the work remote, and her manager remote. we speak for a while, then I ask a question that one of the remote people need to answer. dead air! so I check, and the person who would do it had dropped from the conference call. happens due to connection issues, nbd. her manager isn’t responding but is listed as present so maybe he’s dropped but it hasn’t timed out?

about ten minutes later, I hear breathing on the speaker. he’s there! he says something about “had to step away”
and mumbles something jumbled including “bathroom.” she appears back on a moment later, and we find out.. she had technical issues and he had silently absconded to the toilet! whatever, but pretty funny because he’s a constant interjector and micromanager and actually assumed she could handle it but only because his bowels were messed up

so the funniest part is later. someone who was in the room messaged me to confirm he definitely had disappeared for a while. apparently there was an after-meeting conversation and he played it off like he’d been on the call the entire time

mh, Saturday, 2 November 2019 00:34 (one week ago) link

Lol last time i did that i got a talking to, nice that youre allowed to do it

― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Friday, November 1, 2019 4:34 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

didn't get fired though so that's nice

qualx, Saturday, 2 November 2019 01:36 (one week ago) link

We found out at work that a former tech employee had been spying on people's e-mails and stuff. She had been stalking a well-liked media studies professor. She apparently had people's e-mails and stuff, which included me, because I had exchanged e-mail with him. I guess she had been spreading a lot of bullshit about people having affairs and stuff. How a fantasist like this ever got hired in the first place is beyond me.

G. Gordon Creepy (I M Losted), Sunday, 3 November 2019 14:48 (one week ago) link

Also it got back to me that she thought I was having an affair with the professor, who was old enough to be my dad.

G. Gordon Creepy (I M Losted), Sunday, 3 November 2019 14:49 (one week ago) link

well, that only seems incredibly fireable and somewhat criminal

mh, Sunday, 3 November 2019 16:36 (one week ago) link

Of course it's criminal...I guess we have to wait and see whether charges will be filed. Certainly a crazy erotomanic stalker like that ought to be off the streets.

"Graham" or "Gram"...inquiring minds need to know! (I M Losted), Sunday, 3 November 2019 20:33 (one week ago) link

there‘s this woman in my region who has been covered by local news multiple times for getting a job under false premises, telling an elaborate story about her life that‘s and stealing a bunch of cash from employers

she’s obviously intelligent and sympathetic enough to sell it but it blows my mind that she’s dodged out with a requirement for mental health treatment, ordered to pay restitution, only for some employer who hasn’t recognized her to hire her again and she’s back in the news cycle in six months

so uh, best of luck with the work stalker

mh, Monday, 4 November 2019 00:25 (one week ago) link

story that’s tragic, I meant to say

mh, Monday, 4 November 2019 00:25 (one week ago) link

Shared an office with a guy who exhaled a satisfied 'aaaahhhhhhh...' after every loud gulp of coffee or water for one year.

Sam Weller, Monday, 4 November 2019 11:55 (one week ago) link

i work with a sicilian

its been intense but we're both taking learnings from it

deems of internment (darraghmac), Monday, 4 November 2019 12:02 (one week ago) link

Where I work is full of Italians fwiw.

Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.), Monday, 4 November 2019 13:43 (one week ago) link

I'm part sicilian, is there something I should be concerned about?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 4 November 2019 14:05 (one week ago) link

If one more, just one more, person of whom I've requested something is like 'yeah, we're all good bruh' only for me to discover that we are not actually all good, bruh, and that the requestee never even bothered to confirm that we were all good before consulting whatever goddamn faulty oracle he's using to sense whether a request might or might not be legitimate, I'm going to aim my head directly at that person's midsection so as to assail them with skull shrapnel when my brain finally and inevitably explodes.

― Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Friday, November 1, 2019 12:37 PM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Elapsed time between this morning's request (to a different manager altogether) and the offhand and completely incorrect dismissal it received: < 1 minute. BRB, scheduling a brain explosion rn.

Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Monday, 4 November 2019 14:11 (one week ago) link

xp i dunno, its kinda hard to say without knowing whether you have any idea of the volume of your voice, the ideal level of personal space other people would appreciate, whether or not they like to finish their sentences before you begin to tell an unrelated anecdote because you were bored etc etc

i mean i think it may be just him, but ive raised it at increasing levels of fraughtness and he just thinks its a cultural thing so....?

deems of internment (darraghmac), Monday, 4 November 2019 14:13 (one week ago) link

Where I work is full of Italians fwiw.

― Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.)

ITALIANS ARE NOT THE SAME AS SICILIANS, as Sicilians will tell you when you meet them and about every five minutes thereafter.

I do a lot of the stuff people on this thread complain about.

tantric societal collapse (rushomancy), Monday, 4 November 2019 14:47 (one week ago) link

*meaningful hand gesture*

mh, Monday, 4 November 2019 14:52 (one week ago) link

Imagine how confusing it is for those of us who are part Italian and part Sicilian. My identity is a mess!

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 4 November 2019 15:02 (one week ago) link

please stop shouting, please

deems of internment (darraghmac), Monday, 4 November 2019 17:12 (one week ago) link

The entire department just behind me (in our garbage open-plan office where there is no privacy and certainly no barriers against sound) is comprised of individuals who have seemingly never been exposed to the concept of an 'inside voice'. Or the concept of 'working instead of pretending you're on your third glass of wine at a raucous dinner party'. I assume these were qualities that management actively sought out? At any rate, it's...it's just such an absolute delight.

Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Monday, 4 November 2019 17:26 (one week ago) link

guessing that here darragh is using “Sicilian” to mean “someone from Sicily,” not “someone from America”

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Monday, 4 November 2019 17:28 (one week ago) link

Sometimes, sic, your corrections are in reference to things that were never said or even inferred. Just FYI, if you want to save yourself some time.

Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Monday, 4 November 2019 17:30 (one week ago) link

(At any rate: the unspoken-yet-readily-acknowledged thread that runs through my panoply of work-related complaints is that I just plain don't belong here and that the real problem is that I haven't moved the christ on already. I accept this as primarily my failing, I just don't allow it to curb my bitchery.)

Feed Me Wheat Thins (Old Lunch), Monday, 4 November 2019 17:31 (one week ago) link

im not, and i know im fierce on the distinction as it pertains to my own set, but im not sure sicilianity actually dilutes tbh

deems of internment (darraghmac), Monday, 4 November 2019 18:12 (one week ago) link

ITALIANS ARE NOT THE SAME AS SICILIANS, as Sicilians will tell you when you meet them and about every five minutes thereafter.

Not like Italians to be hung up on whereabouts in Italy they come from.

Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.), Monday, 4 November 2019 18:18 (one week ago) link

there were a number of hilarious things that came out of a conversation between my traveling companions and a younger Polish dude when I was visiting a few weeks back, but one of the best might have been that residents of Warsaw, unlike the people of Krakow, are "not really Polish"

mh, Monday, 4 November 2019 18:27 (one week ago) link

well yeah this isnt a strange phenomenon tbf

like, dubs....arent *real* gaels like. everyone knows this.

deems of internment (darraghmac), Monday, 4 November 2019 18:28 (one week ago) link

And Glaswegians aren't Scottish (i.e. Protestant) enough but they dgaf.

Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.), Monday, 4 November 2019 18:32 (one week ago) link

*nods*

mh, Monday, 4 November 2019 18:36 (one week ago) link

ITALIANS ARE NOT THE SAME AS SICILIANS, as Sicilians will tell you when you meet them and about every five minutes thereafter.

Not like Italians to be hung up on whereabouts in Italy they come from.

― Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.), Monday, November 4, 2019 10:18 AM (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

as someone who is 1/8th genovese i don't care where in italy you're from as long as it isn't the south

ت (jim in vancouver), Monday, 4 November 2019 18:38 (one week ago) link

Sometimes, sic, your corrections are in reference to things that were never said or even inferred. Just FYI, if you want to save yourself some time.

I’m not sure if this is in reference to anything that was said or even inferred

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Monday, 4 November 2019 18:47 (one week ago) link

Ha ha ha...I'm 1/4 Calabrese and I grew up around a lot of Italian-Americans and let me tell you, the Calabrese were taught that Sicilians were the "shit" Italians. Then I take a course in Italian and the Northern (very white) Italian teacher tells us that southern Italians are worthless, their food sucks and they have made no contributions to culture and history.

So this past week, this new dude screws up a project, gets chewed out for it, so of his own volition he goes and does it again, just to prove he can do it right. Never mind that it is pointless, redundant, and a waste of everyone's time.

Dad Gum Yo Hide (I M Losted), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 14:02 (one week ago) link

can't we all just agree that italians were a mistake and call it a day

non-euclidean lenin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 14:02 (one week ago) link

My work AGM today, thoughts and prayers appreciated

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, 6 November 2019 00:09 (one week ago) link

a good coworker has predicted “fireworks” during his group meeting next week where the ridiculous manager I’ve complained about will be attending. apparently the last full group meeting they had ended poorly and with the manager in town, there may be torches and pitchforks

mh, Wednesday, 6 November 2019 01:21 (one week ago) link

A little off-topic, what I learned from that Italian class (which I was taking for work anyway) - never say, "quanti ani hai" instead of "quanti AN-NI hai". Pronounce both of the "n"s or else you're saying "how many assholes do you have?"

Here I Sit, Buns a FleXor, Givin' Birth to Another... (I M Losted), Wednesday, 6 November 2019 04:27 (one week ago) link

Sounds like a Jurassic Park question

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 6 November 2019 05:01 (one week ago) link

And then having to get up really early in the morning so I can come in to work early because I have to clean up a mess someone else made. My health is no good, I can't keep living without sleep, I'm cleaning this shit up for free (because we're all screwed if someone doesn't). I'm too old to find a new job so all I can do is make these sacrifices in hopes that maybe someone will eventually care that I did all of that work.

Here I Sit, Buns a FleXor, Givin' Birth to Another... (I M Losted), Friday, 8 November 2019 12:45 (six days ago) link


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