Annoying Girl: "I hope people don't get the wrong idea!"Me: "Eh?"AG: "About me and the guy. I hope people don't start thinking we're going out, just because I'm friendly to him when he comes in."Me: "Eh, I don't think people will assume that."AG: "You don't think the bosses would fire me for it? You know, for being too friendly with the customers?"Me: "Eh, no." (Thinking: Christ Almighty!)AG: "I'm really worried now. They wouldn't fire me for it, would they?"Me: "I doubt it."
A few minutes pass...
AG: "I'm still really worried. They wouldn't fire me, would they?"Me: "NO!" (Thinking: leave me alone, you neurotic freak!)
Then this crazy elderly man, a regular customer, comes in. He was in a car accident which left him, (how shall I put this?), barking mad. He thinks he's a real estate owner, and I'm one of his tenants, despite the fact that he asks me for money for tobacco every time he comes in. He proceeds to tell the annoying girl about all the houses he owns, and how I am one of his tenants etc, etc, while drooling and smelling terrible! He leaves.
AG: (genuinely) "Was that true, what he was saying?"Me: "Oh my, no."AG: "It could have been..."Me: "I'm pretty sure it wasn't" (Thinking: Christ! I think I'd know if I was one of his tenants!)AG: "Appearances can be deceptive..."Me: "No, I'm pretty sure he's barking mad."AG: "But-"Me: "NO!"
It was a long day at work. I feel better now I've got it off my chest! Now it's your turn to bitch.
What makes it even more irritating is that she's a very NICE person. No harm in her at all, just really annoying and stupid. So I feel bad for bitching about her, yet I am compelled to do so!
― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
Boss:"Ronan could you comb your hair next time you come to work"
Me:"eh in fairness the contract doesn't say anything about me having to comb my hair"
Boss:"yeah but I mean you're a student now yeah? this job isn't so bad. they look after you well, it's a good wage, I'm happy with my lot"
Me:"I don't think there's any chance of me ever working here for a living, long term"
Boss:"Yeah and they pay your health insurance, it's not too difficult a job either"
Me:"Yeah no I'm never going to want to work here, to be honest I was planning on quitting as soon as I start college, or maybe even sooner, you needn't tell the main boss that"
Boss:"Oh don't worry, whatever is discussed here stays here. *long David Brent style lecture* I know what it's like to work WITH people and AROUND people, and I know that this station is not being run as effectively as possible, it's a clique, and I'm sure you can see that too Ronan. But quitting isn't going to change that. You quitting will not make this a smoother operation.
Me:"Eh I don't care about this job, I'm not sure what your point is"
Boss:"All I'm saying is, think about what I've said to you yeah? Just think about it"
― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 28 November 2002 23:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― donna (donna), Friday, 29 November 2002 04:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
CEBCWTJCW: Morning Rachel!!! Oooh! What have you done to your NOSE??
Me: What? Oh yeah, it's a spot.
CEBCWTJCW: No! You've cut yourself or something! It's really RED.
Me: No, really, it's just a big, shiny, noticeable spot.
CEBCWTJCW: It looks really BAD!
At this point I gave up all hope of having a good day.
― Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
Woman At Next Desk: Oh, you used to live in London? So did I. I moved back after my daughter started school and, to be honest, I'm really glad I did. The education you get in London is terrible.
Madchen: I've heard inner city schools are, er, challenging.
WAND: Oh yes. I mean, she was one of only three white faces in the class.
Madchen: Oh. (Mutters something under her breath about 1 in 4 Scots).
― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:52 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:57 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― robster (robster), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
Office twats who preface statements with 'I'm not being funny' should recognise that everything following the phrase comes with its own virtual kill file.
My other suggestion would be to canvass other coworkers for a pizza delivery one Friday and exclude her blatantly.
― suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:10 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:32 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:37 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Miss Laura, Friday, 29 November 2002 11:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 12:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
I work in a room with two people. Person 1 said to me all the stuff I wrote above. She thought nothing of saying it to a stranger (the assumption, I guess, being that I would think the same). Person 2 laughed along merrily. Also, I have come across numerous people in Glasgow who tell me they get scared in London because there are so many black people around. Again, the way they express themselves implies they feel no sense of shame whatsoever - they just don't see there's anything wrong in expressing obviously prejudiced opinions.
I'm not denying for a second that racism doesn't exist elsewhere (and I'm not forgetting that the survey found 3 in 4 Scots aren't racist) but this is the only place I've encountered bigots who have the expectation that my opinion must be the same as theirs.
― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 13:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― alix (alix), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
reply from me: "actually, on Friday we both determined that we had the wrong CD and would have to special order a new copy. On Monday."
reply from my boss: "There must have been some miscommunication here."
yeah, between your ears and your brain. moron!
― Dave M. (rotten03), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:18 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:55 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
What the fuck?
― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 19:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
Despite the fact that she's obviously still pregnant.
― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:47 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― fractal (fractal), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
However, I AM authorized to purchase them, however I want, whenever I want.
What does that even mean?
― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 04:23 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
SUBJECT LINE: I gotta get outta this place...if it's the last thing I ever do (feel free to hum along.)
After a delightful morning spent discussing why someone:1. Shouldn't open a printer paperfeed drawer, while the printer is printing;2. Shouldn't send emails to everyone on their mailing lists about Church-related emails;3. Should let others know when they need the printer instead of deleting documents in the queue;4. Shouldn't tell someone "this is urgent" so they work really late to get it finished, when really, it isn't urgent at all and in fact, doesn't need to be done at all; and5. Shouldn't take someone else's lunch from the refrigerator and leave it on the counter to make room for "extra drinks in case we have visitors,"I have now experienced the conversation to top them all (and really, you have to laugh at this one. I did. Once I calmed down, imbibed chocolate and nicotine, and thought "well, at least it's not quantum physics?). So....here it is:
A Dialogue between "M" (yours truly) and "S" (Otherwise known as Scarett/Princess/Arch Nemesis/The Scarf Lady/etc.)S: Hey "M"!M: Yes?S: You know how to work that digital camera yet?M: Yeah, figured it out last week.S: How long does it take to get those photos developed?M: What?S: I need some photos really fast, so I can photocopy them and make notes on the back. And get duplicates too, in case they get messed-up. M: What? What pictures do you need taken?S: I need to you take pictures of my computer.M: Why?S: I need to know what's on my computer.M: (sigh) You are looking for a file?S: No, I need to know what is on my screen thing.M: (dawning awareness) You need screen captures?S: No, I need pictures of my computer.M: For....?S: I need to know what's on my screen, 'cause these instructions don't make sense and I want to make notes.M: Okay, then you need a picture of the information on your screen, that you can print and add notes to?S: Yes.M: Okay, we don't need the camera for that. We can just do screen captures. It's easy.(M walks over to other office, taking deep and soothing breathes all the while, and explains how to "CTRL+ALT+PrtScn" - runs into trouble with explanation of holding down all keys at the same time. Eventually resolved and screen is captured.)M: Now open Word and set the page to ?Landscape.?S: My computer won't do that.M: What? Yes it will.(M goes through brief discussion of "portrait" vs "landscape" and how to perform operation in Word. Discovers part of problem is that S doesn?t know how to open Word because the icon isn?t on her desktop.)M: Now just hit "Shift+Insert" and your screen shot will be inserted.M: No, you need to hold down both keys at the same time.M: I don't know, that's just the way the program is designed.M: Yeah, it is find of frustrating.M: Okay, now you have it. Just insert a new page for each of the next screen captures and then print the file.(M returns to own desk and gets back into rhythm of formatting proposal.)S: M! It isn't working. I want you to take the pictures for me.M: I don't have time to take the pictures right now, I have to get this back to _____.S: Well, I don't have the time to use the camera, so I guess this won't get done and _____ will be mad.M: Yeah, I guess ___ will be mad, but I'll explain the problem to him.S: Can't you do these thingys for me?M: No, not right now. I have to get this done.S: You know, it's your job to do this.M: No, actually it isn't. I am sorry, but I really can't do it right now. If I have time later I'll come over and see what we can do. In the meantime, why don't you look under the "Help" menu to see if those instructions are better.S: Oh, my computer doesn't have any "Help" on it. I keep telling ____ he needs to fix it, but he won't.
(M decides, for sake of sanity, to not try and figure out what that last comment means and returns to her editing, swearing all the while.) End of original email.
And here are additional interesting tidbits about ?S?:She claimed on her resume to be ?Microsoft Certified,? but was unable to explain what that meant;She wrote all of her correspondence in Excel, because she didn?t know how to open Word (the icon wasn?t on her desktop);When she came into work each morning, she made herself a pot of tea and sat in her cubicle reading household decorating magazines and drinking tea for the first two hours: and, best of allShe was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she ?didn?t want to fill it up with things? (and it was a 20 G HD!) File was eventually determined, by her, to be on a floppy. But floppy was blank when co-worker opened it. Eventually ?S? showed supervisor where she stored all of her floppys containing important info. She was attaching them to the metal parts of her cubicle with large magnets, so she ?could always find them.?
~ Laura (who is thankful that she can claim to be a happy rat, that abandoned the sinking ship in time to move to a much cushier and affluent ship, and is now ridiculously happy with things)
― LCD (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 05:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
I've met a few people who have done basic "computer literacy" courses at colleges and Adult Ed. places who do this. What seems to happen is: the college says "don't store your files on the hard drive [of our lab computers], use a floppy" and the person absorbs this without understanding *why* they're being told it.
These sort of courses always seem to produce people who can't do anything except exactly what was on the course, and then only if their computer is set up exactly like the college ones were. Hence, not being able to start Word if it doesn't have a desktop icon.
(of course, the other stuff shows that this person seems to be a fuckwit regardless of that)
― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 10:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
The ex-receptionist at my office once printed out an email so she could type it up in Word.
― Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:02 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
it's a sappy day.
― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:54 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
1. "What does agriculture mean?"
2. "I was so annoyed. Someone threw themselves under my tube yesterday. People that do that must be mad."
3. Me: "Just tell them to put the web address in and it will take them straight into the site."
Her: "What address? Their address?"
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 13:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― dave q, Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:21 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
Other things he did: worked at his cube standing up (making everyone around him very tense), unbuttoned his shirts halfway down his chest, commented on every phone conversation I had (work related or not), talked to himself, and played horrible CD-Rs of cabaret tunes he wrote and produced. I think the whole experience inoculated me against ever being annoyed by co-workers again.
― mike a (mike a), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 16:14 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
Unfortunately something this stupid is uttered in my office at least once a day...
― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:54 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:57 (fifteen years ago) Permalink
Hysteresis does not justify setting the room thermostat at 25c (77f). Especially when that thing is blowing negatively refreshing warm dry air right down on to the top of my head.
― Monogo doesn't socialise (ledge), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 10:46 (one month ago) Permalink
saga of the smoothie stand continues:
we have a Whatsapp group chat for the whole team including the manager (there's only six of us). This morning said manager texts the group "can everyone who is working this weekend wear a Xmas jumper please?" and I take an hour to calm down upon seeing it. I don't celebrate Xmas and I haven't done it for five or six years - I find it stressful and costly and unfulfilling and I'm much happier at home by myself with a book than I am traipsing around Scotland trying to catch all sides of my family for an arbitrary day of food I'm not fussed about having. But I could just as easily not be celebrating for religious reasons or to avoid the shadow of grief and trauma in my life or any number of reasons - the point is, I really resent the assumption that I partake in the festivities. I can tolerate Xmas music, I can tolerate a tree in the staff room, but I don't want to spend my money (which, in all honesty, I probably don't have to spare anyway) on a jumper that's ugly to celebrate a holiday I no longer have time for.
So I calmly reply in the group chat so everyone can see I don't take part and that way it helps me fend off questions later. "Is this going to be a thing going forward? Only I don't take part in Xmas for personal reasons and I really don't have the money or inclination to buy a jumper to mark a holiday I don't celebrate. I don't mind you guys having the Xmas playlists on or wearing jumpers but its important to me that I don't have to do this. Sorry!" I think that's as firm/polite as I can be in saying "you cannot coerce me into this and the fact you are trying is a terrible idea", it feels perilously close to an HR situation to force someone to wear clothes that potentially compromise their religious beliefs and I think it's important that a lesson is learned here.
it turns out, every branch of the chain is doing this to raise money for charity. I replied "oh I didn't realise. I'm happy to donate!" I haven't heard anything more about it yet. But it's such a shitty approach, to assume "seasonal" is a default setting. I wish we lived in a world where people asked "are you doing anything for the holidays?" and not "what will you be doing?"
― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 12 December 2017 22:22 (one month ago) Permalink
i'm hearing/reading a lot of this horrible insidious shit lately. a friend on twitter was talking about how she works in a shop and there's a "pyjama or onesie day" which is mandatory.
wish people would abandon this fever for behaving like fucking infants or at the very least not enforce it as a rule in a place someone must attend in order to earn money to live.
― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 22:25 (one month ago) Permalink
I mean, when I go into a shop or whatever when this is happens, the staff don't ever seem to be that more motivated or happy because of their enforced "fun", if anything its the opposite - the sense of embarassment and frustration just makes it seem so demeaning and I don't want to spend money if it encourages this sort of thing
― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 12 December 2017 22:36 (one month ago) Permalink
Our secret santa was opt OUT this year which of course caught a bunch of people off guard when they lazily didnt reply to the email and are now stuck with it.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 00:12 (one month ago) Permalink
my boss messaged all of us to tell us he wanted his Secret Santa to donate the money in his name to our internal <Insert Company Name> Lives Matter fund.
then tells us we're under no obligation to do that ourselves while he's clearly trying to get us all to do it.
not really a 'Secret Santa' anymore at that point.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 03:02 (one month ago) Permalink
Haha our office manager just set up a gift registry for ours! Its actually not a bad idea, dunno why no one thot of it before
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 03:06 (one month ago) Permalink
we use Elfster
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 03:08 (one month ago) Permalink
I asked for a King Diamond t-shirt because I'm the black sheep of the department and don't want a shitty candle or a King James Bible
whoa people actually gift bibles in a secret santa? what if you gave them a gideons bible you obviously picked up at a motel?
― mh, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 03:24 (one month ago) Permalink
I wouldn't actually get somebody one, but one of my Secret Santas listed her 3 favorite books as gift ideas and Bible was #1
I got her one of her other items, a candle.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 03:31 (one month ago) Permalink
it was something like Bible, Sidney Sheldon novel, Archie comic or something
whoa people actually gift bibles in a secret santa?
LOL someone gave someone else a singing mini Koran in one of my old jobs.Then again that same company thought giving a red lacy bra to a lady whod had breast cancer was funny somehow
I feel like I have told this story before.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 04:01 (one month ago) Permalink
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 04:02 (one month ago) Permalink
at one of my previous jobs, a colleague gave one of the bosses (male) a ball gag in the secret santa. tbf to the boss, he put it on in the restaurant
― calumerio, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 10:01 (one month ago) Permalink
same company thought giving a red lacy bra to a lady whod had breast cancer was funny somehow
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 10:33 (one month ago) Permalink
Those are exclamation marks in place of my ability to conceive of what the fuck they were thinking.
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 10:34 (one month ago) Permalink
The Office apparently wasn't nearly awful enough
― Thomas NAGL (Neil S), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 10:34 (one month ago) Permalink
There is a special place in hell for people who stand in the elevator jabbing the close door button while other people are still trying to get in
― badg, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 19:05 (one month ago) Permalink
But is there a special elevator to get there
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 19:08 (one month ago) Permalink
what if the people trying to get in are bad
― mh, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 19:24 (one month ago) Permalink
i had to move from an amazing desk in an open area with a skyline view to a small dark room. the desks are arranged in such a way that when i'm sitting at my desk, there's about a 6 inch space between the back of my chair and the desk behind me. this fucking guy who needs way more clearance than that insists on squeezing through that small area behind me, despite there being another unobstructed path to the door. dude's stomach bumps my chair every time and for whatever reason he's getting up about 200 times a day.
― scoff walker (diamonddave85), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 20:05 (one month ago) Permalink
sometimes i'll catch a glimpse of him at the fork in the road and see a flash of decision making going on in his head, and he ALWAYS chooses the path behind my desk
― scoff walker (diamonddave85), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 20:07 (one month ago) Permalink
bossman in an officewide email: "today we celebrate the black women who led the charge to the polls for doug jones's victory last night in alabama"guy i share my office with, to no one in particular: "tf we doin celebratin another corporate ass white man ascending the ladder of the blue wing of the corporatist party"me: i'm gonna get lunch. you want anything?
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 20:09 (one month ago) Permalink
i had to move from a desk below a skylight to a small dark room, which i'm actually okay with, but this motherfucker now sitting a row behind me will not shut up
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 20:21 (one month ago) Permalink
haha same with my dude too. and on top of that, he has a weird ass voice
― scoff walker (diamonddave85), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 20:44 (one month ago) Permalink
The close door button doesn't actually do anything unless you have a key. Hence why nothing happens the majority of times it's pressed
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 23:09 (one month ago) Permalink
It works in our building
― badg, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 23:42 (one month ago) Permalink
Yeah this "close buttons are fake in lifts" thing is odd, cos Ive definitely been in buildings where it has worked (as in there is a marked time diff in using or not using it)
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 14 December 2017 02:35 (one month ago) Permalink
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 December 2017 02:36 (one month ago) Permalink
(however, the main reason the ones here don't do anything is due to the ADA laws, so it's possible other countries don't work the same way)
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 December 2017 02:38 (one month ago) Permalink
How does the ADA law relate to it?
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 14 December 2017 02:39 (one month ago) Permalink
The law requires that the elevator door must remain fully open for a specified amount of time, to allow those with disabilities extra time to get on. once that was passed in the 1990s, the buttons basically became placebos in US elevators.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 December 2017 02:43 (one month ago) Permalink
ah ok makes sense
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 14 December 2017 02:43 (one month ago) Permalink
my biggest pet peeve when I go into the office - when the elevator has room for more people but everybody has needlessly shoved forward, making the elevator look full to capacity. most people just say "I'll get the next one", except this happens in the majority of the elevators around 5 pm, so you might wait a while. when it happens to me I just get on and make the people spread out like they're supposed to.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 December 2017 02:47 (one month ago) Permalink
Secret Santa today at 4:30 motherfuckers :D
― harbinger of failure (Jon not Jon), Thursday, 14 December 2017 16:09 (one month ago) Permalink
Ask me about our work lotto syndicate when I'm sober
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 14 December 2017 19:54 (one month ago) Permalink
A new coworker has proposed a game for our department office party later this week. We each write down one fact about ourselves on a yellow index card. The cards are then pulled from a hat and read aloud and the rest of us try to guess who it is.
― how's life, Tuesday, 19 December 2017 23:04 (four weeks ago) Permalink
department office holiday party
― how's life, Tuesday, 19 December 2017 23:05 (four weeks ago) Permalink
"I once killed a man just to watch him die"
"I own 3 kimonos"
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 20 December 2017 04:56 (four weeks ago) Permalink
"I secretly touched all the door knobs in the office with my genitals."
― attention vampire (MatthewK), Wednesday, 20 December 2017 06:08 (four weeks ago) Permalink
“i am made of bees”
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 20 December 2017 06:11 (four weeks ago) Permalink
My shit client told an already overwhelmed colleague "I have no idea why you highlighted those rows in purple" and her asshole Waldorf stand-in muttered derisively "maybe she's color-blind".
The person who prepared the Excel...a good friend...actually is colorblind. Our leaders...said nothing.
I have never wanted to hit so many people.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 23 December 2017 01:52 (three weeks ago) Permalink
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 23 December 2017 04:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink
I swear 90% of workplace assholery and bad undercurrents come from people making assumptions instead of politely asking questions. I idealistically think more workplace diversity will help a little because people will encounter more situations where choices they don’t understand will require people to ask and *scales fall from eyes* but some people just won’t get itI remember switching to a new software development group and being pleasantly surprised that every application had a settings in the options for an alternate color palette, because one of the senior members of the group is color blind! And the feedback from users was great.
― mh, Saturday, 23 December 2017 17:17 (three weeks ago) Permalink
Yea. The guy running our project takes it deeper by asking a presumably innocent question, then chasing it with a snarky remark dripping with judgment.
"Can you research why the rep didn't reference the enrollment materials? We had thought you would share these with the team and that you were on top of this."
So like what is my interest in replying in earnest when you've already presumed my incompetence.
All this for a project we are probably in the red on.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 23 December 2017 17:33 (three weeks ago) Permalink
so my project has several key processes that won't be ready on our project's live date in our system (and won't be for 2.5 weeks). I have been tasked with training people on two of them this week, despite me not having confidence in how they work given that they're not available to test in QA.
I've never handled one of them before, the other is completely custom, I've had a ton of technical questions spanning several weeks that I've had to escalate just to get half answers or no answers, and then pretty much everybody who answers those questions decided to take the last few weeks off on PTO. For one of them I was told only one person knew the answers and he's been gone since 12/18.
I've kind of given up and just phoned in a C- effort today because i can't even
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 December 2017 23:59 (three weeks ago) Permalink
we take death reports for life insurance claim processing. we inherited about 12 cases where the person died prior to we took over as recordkeeper, so our admin team has to apply special handling to.
We're on day 9 now since we took over, and they haven't touched a single one of the 12 cases. so people keep calling back. and the main guy they're assigned to blurted out that he had no idea what he was doing yesterday.
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 11 January 2018 23:23 (one week ago) Permalink
There is a guy who works on another team at my job... we'll call him Explainer Man, for reasons which will become obvious.
Explainer Man is annoying as hell. He believes he knows the answer to everything and if he overhears or is somehow exposed to any issue, regardless of whether he is directly involved or not, Explainer Man will immediately intrude and outline his (usually crazy and wrong) theory about what is happening or the best approach to solving the problem. He has interrupted me on at least one occasion while a team member I supervise was asking me a question. The problem is that what Explainer Man is saying usually sounds convincing to someone who isn't a subject matter expert, because he is very good at bullshitting The craziness of some of his explanations even make them seem more plausible in this context.
In some ways my dealings with Explainer Man have been personally enlightening, because I feel like he is a dark mirror of what I could personally become when supervising people on my team. So I am basically trying not to be Explainer Man. The problem is, if you lay back and try not to be Explainer Man, that kind of allows more room for Explainer Man to suck all the oxygen out of the room. I'm pretty sure some of the less savvy people in our department think he is a genius.
Explainer Man is white, around 40, and something is also off about the way he interacts with younger women on his team. I can't put my finger on it, but he seems to particularly direct his explaining on them. This is relevant because...
As mentioned, in the past I just thought this guy was annoying. But recently I took over for my manager temporarily while she went out on medical leave and prior to leaving, she took me in a conference room for a private ,off-the-record conversation about... a number of problematic individuals. One of these people was Explainer Man who apparently has a history of harassment. My manager had previously been his direct supervisor and almost fired him for insubordination, except he posted out before she could build enough of a paper trail on him. He would routinely contradict her, felt she let being a manager "go to her head," and basically undermined her at every opportunity. She told her manager in our current group not to hire him under any circumstances when he interviewed. She thinks he slipped through because of the amount of people being hired and the group interview process, which is charitable of her. (Not to give too much away, but our higher level managers are largely white male former federal law enforcement officers in their 50's or older... we work in financial crimes risk management. To the extent I've personally dealt with them I get the impression that their political views border on the fascistic. I definitely wouldn't expect much sensitivity from them.).
Recently another manager went out on medical leave (basically the only other female manager) and he was FOR SOME INEXPLICABLE REASON EXCEPT YEAH THE PATRIARCHY being considered at her replacement. She again told her manager not to give this man any power, because if he was given any formal authority, he would probably find some way to abuse it. It appears this was disregarded and he's an acting team manager, causing chaos everywhere with his incompetent micromanagement. I have no idea what life must be for people on this team. Apparently he calls them in the evening to check in on their work. I'm busy with my own team and I don't really have time to look over his shoulder, and yeah it's not my job to manage him.
Anyway, this man appears destined to be my peer at the company (as mentioned we're both acting managers and I think he also posted for one of a few openings that have come up, as have I). Obviously I hate him, but I also kind of fear his ability to seemingly escape any consequences for his incompetence and abuse of the people around him. I dislike confrontation, but I'm also aware that I am the kind of person our idiot meathead bosses might actually listen to (i.e. not a woman, not a minority). Not that I have anything concrete to tell them.
I'm aware this is all kinds of fucked up, or maybe it's par for the course. I have no idea. My moral compass is probably 360 degrees of fucked after years of working at a place like this. Sorry for typing all this... this is the first time I've really fully articulated my issues with what is happening in any forum.
― Old Neon, Friday, 12 January 2018 19:43 (six days ago) Permalink
So I am basically trying not to be Explainer Man.
I feel like my Explainer Man tendencies are mostly limited to ilx these days (sorry guys) but yes, this is a life epiphany many people need
― mh, Friday, 12 January 2018 19:44 (six days ago) Permalink