Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Girl I work with is chatting to a male customer in friendly fashion as she serves him. He leaves, then me and her have this conversation.

Annoying Girl: "I hope people don't get the wrong idea!"
Me: "Eh?"
AG: "About me and the guy. I hope people don't start thinking we're going out, just because I'm friendly to him when he comes in."
Me: "Eh, I don't think people will assume that."
AG: "You don't think the bosses would fire me for it? You know, for being too friendly with the customers?"
Me: "Eh, no." (Thinking: Christ Almighty!)
AG: "I'm really worried now. They wouldn't fire me for it, would they?"
Me: "I doubt it."

A few minutes pass...

AG: "I'm still really worried. They wouldn't fire me, would they?"
Me: "NO!" (Thinking: leave me alone, you neurotic freak!)

Then this crazy elderly man, a regular customer, comes in. He was in a car accident which left him, (how shall I put this?), barking mad. He thinks he's a real estate owner, and I'm one of his tenants, despite the fact that he asks me for money for tobacco every time he comes in. He proceeds to tell the annoying girl about all the houses he owns, and how I am one of his tenants etc, etc, while drooling and smelling terrible! He leaves.

AG: (genuinely) "Was that true, what he was saying?"
Me: "Oh my, no."
AG: "It could have been..."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it wasn't" (Thinking: Christ! I think I'd know if I was one of his tenants!)
AG: "Appearances can be deceptive..."
Me: "No, I'm pretty sure he's barking mad."
AG: "But-"
Me: "NO!"

It was a long day at work. I feel better now I've got it off my chest! Now it's your turn to bitch.

What makes it even more irritating is that she's a very NICE person. No harm in her at all, just really annoying and stupid. So I feel bad for bitching about her, yet I am compelled to do so!

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

One of the managers at the petrol station once called me outside for a smoke and to talk to me, it was a bit like the Warden Norton/Tommy scene in Shawshank Redemption.

Boss:"Ronan could you comb your hair next time you come to work"

Me:"eh in fairness the contract doesn't say anything about me having to comb my hair"

Boss:"yeah but I mean you're a student now yeah? this job isn't so bad. they look after you well, it's a good wage, I'm happy with my lot"

Me:"I don't think there's any chance of me ever working here for a living, long term"

Boss:"Yeah and they pay your health insurance, it's not too difficult a job either"

Me:"Yeah no I'm never going to want to work here, to be honest I was planning on quitting as soon as I start college, or maybe even sooner, you needn't tell the main boss that"

Boss:"Oh don't worry, whatever is discussed here stays here. *long David Brent style lecture* I know what it's like to work WITH people and AROUND people, and I know that this station is not being run as effectively as possible, it's a clique, and I'm sure you can see that too Ronan. But quitting isn't going to change that. You quitting will not make this a smoother operation.

Me:"Eh I don't care about this job, I'm not sure what your point is"

Boss:"All I'm saying is, think about what I've said to you yeah? Just think about it"


Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Is it only DCU students who work with stupid, annoying people?

DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 28 November 2002 23:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

no, its anyone who has ever worked in bars with no-neck, arrogant-for-no-reason wankers, with no brain function other than the tiny amount required to raise a beer to their filthy mouths after a shift.

donna (donna), Friday, 29 November 2002 04:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hurrah for it is the last day of the CompulsiveEatingBurpingCulotteWearingTactlessJollyCoWorker today!!! What will hopefully be my last annoying conversation with her happened first thing on Wednesday morning:

CEBCWTJCW: Morning Rachel!!! Oooh! What have you done to your NOSE??

Me: What? Oh yeah, it's a spot.

CEBCWTJCW: No! You've cut yourself or something! It's really RED.

Me: No, really, it's just a big, shiny, noticeable spot.

CEBCWTJCW: It looks really BAD!

At this point I gave up all hope of having a good day.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Day one at my new job.

Woman At Next Desk: Oh, you used to live in London? So did I. I moved back after my daughter started school and, to be honest, I'm really glad I did. The education you get in London is terrible.

Madchen: I've heard inner city schools are, er, challenging.

WAND: Oh yes. I mean, she was one of only three white faces in the class.

Madchen: Oh. (Mutters something under her breath about 1 in 4 Scots).

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

My co-worker Oh, I'm not being funny.... but could you only buy your lunch from the shop across the road from now on? When you go anywhere else it takes too long. Maybe you should bring a pack up from home.

Me (in my head): No, fuck off you food fascist. You're the one who is consistantly 15 minutes late back from lunch every day, and I know I'll spend the last hour of the day sitting around doing nothing listening to you go on and on and on so it's not like we're really busy. And God, just never speak to me again!

Me (in reality): Yeah, no problem.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:29 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Maddie, immediately invent an obscure food allergy that REQUIRES you to go to a different shop! Oh , and then KILL HER.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

haha, madchen, fuck you! ;)

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:52 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

What the hell? Why, precisely, was that necessary, dwh? Christ on a bike.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:57 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Maddie, your co-worker is EVIL. There's only one place you should go for an off-site lunch and that's THE PUB!

robster (robster), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Rule 2858 in a series of obscure rules:

Office twats who preface statements with 'I'm not being funny' should recognise that everything following the phrase comes with its own virtual kill file.

My other suggestion would be to canvass other coworkers for a pizza delivery one Friday and exclude her blatantly.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:10 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I want to invent a food allergy but then I'd be like her! She's allergic to garlic, alcohol, traffic fumes, manmade fibres, "still air" (this means we have the fan on in the winter so the air circulates and her eyes don't "gum up"), some other stuff that I forgot and, of course, EVER DOING ANY WORK. She is allergic to getting off her arse, I fear.

And the "I'm not being funny/I'm not having a go/I don't want you to take this the wrong way...." rule. I reckon if you have to start a sentence with any of these statements, you shouldn't be saying the sentence at all!

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Oh, and I can't canvass others to share food. There's only me and her in the whole shop. And when it's quiet she talks to me like we're friends but we're not. It's all very unfortunate.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:32 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Haha 'still air'????

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:37 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

This stupid stupid woman sent every single person here an email saying that she left 60 centimes in the coffee machine and asking for whoever finds it to bring it to her office. What a scrooge!

Miss Laura, Friday, 29 November 2002 11:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

it wasn't sincere, liz, it was just a grumble about the allegation that 1/4 of scots are racist, y'know. the 'haha' was meant to temper it, sorry.

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 12:39 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Allegation? My personal experience is this:

I work in a room with two people. Person 1 said to me all the stuff I wrote above. She thought nothing of saying it to a stranger (the assumption, I guess, being that I would think the same). Person 2 laughed along merrily. Also, I have come across numerous people in Glasgow who tell me they get scared in London because there are so many black people around. Again, the way they express themselves implies they feel no sense of shame whatsoever - they just don't see there's anything wrong in expressing obviously prejudiced opinions.

I'm not denying for a second that racism doesn't exist elsewhere (and I'm not forgetting that the survey found 3 in 4 Scots aren't racist) but this is the only place I've encountered bigots who have the expectation that my opinion must be the same as theirs.

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 13:17 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Try the deli counter at S**n**ury's. I get so many customers who expect me to agree with their racist opinions simply because I am white. Twats.

alix (alix), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

e-mail from my boss: "when I came in on Monday, the Threepenny Opera files were not online. I expect that when I assign a task that it will be completed. Don't let this happen in the future."

reply from me: "actually, on Friday we both determined that we had the wrong CD and would have to special order a new copy. On Monday."

reply from my boss: "There must have been some miscommunication here."

yeah, between your ears and your brain. moron!

Dave M. (rotten03), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Suzy, you aren't generalising wildly enough: yes, anyone who says "I'm not being funny, but" is best punched, hard and often, but this applies to most other sentences on the "I'm not being [X], but" model. X=racist obviously means "I am a loathsome racist", most obviously and clearly. Try 'sexist' or 'nasty' too.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:18 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Happily I've been blessed with a slew of great co-workers. I will say that some years back the news that someone was departing from our neck of the woods to go elsewhere was greeted with quiet relief, though.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Maddy, if she's your boss and only other co-worker then it sounds like she needs you more than you need her. POINTEDLY go to other shops to get your lunch. I say ignore the instruction.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:55 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Annoying Coworker: Yes, well, that account would be able to fund your entity if you hadn't taken money from it without telling me.
Me: What?
Annoying Coworker: (holds up wire) See? $147,000 from my account.
Me: No, we gave you money.
Annoying Coworker WHO GETS PAID LOTS MORE THAN ME: NO YOU DID NOT. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't write wires without telling me in the future.
Me: Did you look at this? You account is on the credit side. Management (nb: my account) is on the debit side!
Annoying Coworker: Whatever, just don't do it again.

What the fuck?

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:50 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

one month passes...
We've got two new people here this year - one of whom is very cool and I hardly see, so we get along really well. The other one, though - a nightmare. She's the epitome of simpering little girl-ness, speaks to me (and most everyone else) as though I'm a retarded child when in fact I've been doing the job that she's just begun (and is completely incompetent at, I might add) for 12 years. She's one of those people who has never met anyone as fascinating as herself in all of her born days and if she doesn't calm down, stop being a stupid bitch and stop second guessing every word I say to her, I will hit her in the head with a brick.

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 19:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

The receptionist keeps telling everyone she's going through post partum depression.

Despite the fact that she's obviously still pregnant.

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:47 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

My head hurts.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

How about the dumbass cockfarmer that came into the library coughing and sneezing in such an ostentatious way it's like he intentionally planned a big Outbreak scenario? Now I'm at home running a fever and I think I might have bronchitis again.

Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hm. Find him and kill him.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:51 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I was depressed about being unemployed until I saw this thread. Thank you everyone. :)

fractal (fractal), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I was also informed that I wasn't authorized to approve payment on technological items.

However, I AM authorized to purchase them, however I want, whenever I want.

What does that even mean?

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

It means you got the kingdom, you got the key. Order yourself everything you ever wanted and don't share.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:16 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

people should post more on this thread. i like it.

Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 04:23 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

What follows is an email that was sent to some friends last spring, after a particularly bad morning with co-workers.

SUBJECT LINE: I gotta get outta this place
...if it's the last thing I ever do (feel free to hum along.)

After a delightful morning spent discussing why someone:
1. Shouldn't open a printer paperfeed drawer, while the printer is printing;
2. Shouldn't send emails to everyone on their mailing lists about Church-related emails;
3. Should let others know when they need the printer instead of deleting documents in the queue;
4. Shouldn't tell someone "this is urgent" so they work really late to get it finished, when really, it isn't urgent at all and in fact, doesn't need to be done at all; and
5. Shouldn't take someone else's lunch from the refrigerator and leave it on the counter to make room for "extra drinks in case we have visitors,"
I have now experienced the conversation to top them all (and really, you have to laugh at this one. I did. Once I calmed down, imbibed chocolate and nicotine, and thought "well, at least it's not quantum physics?). So....here it is:

A Dialogue between "M" (yours truly) and "S" (Otherwise known as Scarett/Princess/Arch Nemesis/The Scarf Lady/etc.)
S: Hey "M"!
M: Yes?
S: You know how to work that digital camera yet?
M: Yeah, figured it out last week.
S: How long does it take to get those photos developed?
M: What?
S: I need some photos really fast, so I can photocopy them and make notes on the back. And get duplicates too, in case they get messed-up.
M: What? What pictures do you need taken?
S: I need to you take pictures of my computer.
M: Why?
S: I need to know what's on my computer.
M: (sigh) You are looking for a file?
S: No, I need to know what is on my screen thing.
M: (dawning awareness) You need screen captures?
S: No, I need pictures of my computer.
M: For....?
S: I need to know what's on my screen, 'cause these instructions don't make sense and I want to make notes.
M: Okay, then you need a picture of the information on your screen, that you can print and add notes to?
S: Yes.
M: Okay, we don't need the camera for that. We can just do screen captures. It's easy.
(M walks over to other office, taking deep and soothing breathes all the while, and explains how to "CTRL+ALT+PrtScn" - runs into trouble with explanation of holding down all keys at the same time. Eventually resolved and screen is captured.)
M: Now open Word and set the page to ?Landscape.?
S: My computer won't do that.
M: What? Yes it will.
(M goes through brief discussion of "portrait" vs "landscape" and how to perform operation in Word. Discovers part of problem is that S doesn?t know how to open Word because the icon isn?t on her desktop.)
M: Now just hit "Shift+Insert" and your screen shot will be inserted.
M: No, you need to hold down both keys at the same time.
M: I don't know, that's just the way the program is designed.
M: Yeah, it is find of frustrating.
M: Okay, now you have it. Just insert a new page for each of the next screen captures and then print the file.
(M returns to own desk and gets back into rhythm of formatting proposal.)
S: M! It isn't working. I want you to take the pictures for me.
M: I don't have time to take the pictures right now, I have to get this back to _____.
S: Well, I don't have the time to use the camera, so I guess this won't get done and _____ will be mad.
M: Yeah, I guess ___ will be mad, but I'll explain the problem to him.
S: Can't you do these thingys for me?
M: No, not right now. I have to get this done.
S: You know, it's your job to do this.
M: No, actually it isn't. I am sorry, but I really can't do it right now. If I have time later I'll come over and see what we can do. In the meantime, why don't you look under the "Help" menu to see if those instructions are better.
S: Oh, my computer doesn't have any "Help" on it. I keep telling ____ he needs to fix it, but he won't.

(M decides, for sake of sanity, to not try and figure out what that last comment means and returns to her editing, swearing all the while.)
End of original email.

And here are additional interesting tidbits about ?S?:
She claimed on her resume to be ?Microsoft Certified,? but was unable to explain what that meant;
She wrote all of her correspondence in Excel, because she didn?t know how to open Word (the icon wasn?t on her desktop);
When she came into work each morning, she made herself a pot of tea and sat in her cubicle reading household decorating magazines and drinking tea for the first two hours: and, best of all
She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she ?didn?t want to fill it up with things? (and it was a 20 G HD!) File was eventually determined, by her, to be on a floppy. But floppy was blank when co-worker opened it. Eventually ?S? showed supervisor where she stored all of her floppys containing important info. She was attaching them to the metal parts of her cubicle with large magnets, so she ?could always find them.?

~ Laura (who is thankful that she can claim to be a happy rat, that abandoned the sinking ship in time to move to a much cushier and affluent ship, and is now ridiculously happy with things)

LCD (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 05:13 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she "didn't want to fill it up with things" (and it was a 20 G HD!)

I've met a few people who have done basic "computer literacy" courses at colleges and Adult Ed. places who do this. What seems to happen is: the college says "don't store your files on the hard drive [of our lab computers], use a floppy" and the person absorbs this without understanding *why* they're being told it.

These sort of courses always seem to produce people who can't do anything except exactly what was on the course, and then only if their computer is set up exactly like the college ones were. Hence, not being able to start Word if it doesn't have a desktop icon.

(of course, the other stuff shows that this person seems to be a fuckwit regardless of that)

caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 10:49 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Laura, that's fantastic.

The ex-receptionist at my office once printed out an email so she could type it up in Word.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:02 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

is that why she's an ex-receptionist?

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

awwwwww, usually this stuff would make me mad, but today i want to find them all and help them and give them tea.

it's a sappy day.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Heh, you'd think so wouldn't you. In actual fact, it wasn't until she went on holiday for 6 weeks and nobody noticed her absence that it became the MD realised that we could do without her.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

sounds familiar - we had a Communications Executive who never did any communicating.

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:54 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

We also had an account executive who used to wander around the office to kill time. He had this time-consuming trick of getting up from his desk and finding a bin in another part of the building to throw his litter into (rather than the bin under his desk). Another trick was to go down to the fax machine to send a fax, return to his desk, wait a couple of minutes and then return to the fax machine to collect the piece of paper.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:00 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

One of my new colleagues is, to all intents and purposes, Jade. I quote:

1. "What does agriculture mean?"

2. "I was so annoyed. Someone threw themselves under my tube yesterday. People that do that must be mad."

3. Me: "Just tell them to put the web address in and it will take them straight into the site."

Her: "What address? Their address?"

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:06 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I can't decide whether to post this to the annoying colleague or the B.O. thread, so I'm going to post it to both! Anyhow, in one office where I worked we had a guy with a B.O. problem and the managers had to have words with him in private on a couple of occasions. And yes, on those rare occasions when my sinuses were clear (one day in seventeen approx) it was quite annoying and offensive to me. However, it was NOT NEARLY AS ANNOYING AND OFFENSIVE as the colleague who used to go on and on about it all the bloody time whenever the guy with the problem walked out of the room! Not only that, but as soon as he left she used to reach for the can of air freshener which she kept on her desk *specially* and spray about a litre of it about the place! So instead of an office smelling of sweat we had an office reeking of air freshener!

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 13:58 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Mailroom guy who looks like a troglodyte - "I wanted 'digical'[pronounced thus] TV cuz I don't have enough channels! They were supposed to install it on Friday but they didn't - the whole weekend I had nuthin' to do! I was really looking forward to it too!"

dave q, Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:21 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

i don't want to help any of those people, though. far too annoying. the previous lot were quite sweet.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:45 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I pretty much get along with my immediate co-workers, and none of them are so annoying that I can't tune them out. However, I once shared an office with a foot fetishist. No kidding; he was friggin' profiled in the Village Voice about it, and was completely calm and collected when I mentioned "so I saw the Voice today..."! I guess we all have our private interests, but we don't all alert the press about it!

Other things he did: worked at his cube standing up (making everyone around him very tense), unbuttoned his shirts halfway down his chest, commented on every phone conversation I had (work related or not), talked to himself, and played horrible CD-Rs of cabaret tunes he wrote and produced. I think the whole experience inoculated me against ever being annoyed by co-workers again.

mike a (mike a), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 16:14 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Okay, here's another example from today. We had a sales rep come in to demo a software package/online service that provides journal content. Anyhoo, I did a sample search, and one of the citations that got brought up was from an Ethiopian journal. She said (in all seriousness): "Wow! I didn't think that Ethiopians even had any paper, let alone journals!"

Unfortunately something this stupid is uttered in my office at least once a day...

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:26 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

The amount of coworkers you've killed in your head must make quite the body count.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:54 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

You have no idea. Entire populations have been erased.

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:56 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

"As the final screams echoed away into caverns of oblivion, Nicole turned off her death rays and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. 'Should I have used so much napalm?'"

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:57 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

we take death reports for life insurance claim processing. we inherited about 12 cases where the person died prior to we took over as recordkeeper, so our admin team has to apply special handling to.

We're on day 9 now since we took over, and they haven't touched a single one of the 12 cases. so people keep calling back. and the main guy they're assigned to blurted out that he had no idea what he was doing yesterday.

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 11 January 2018 23:23 (two months ago) Permalink

There is a guy who works on another team at my job... we'll call him Explainer Man, for reasons which will become obvious.

Explainer Man is annoying as hell. He believes he knows the answer to everything and if he overhears or is somehow exposed to any issue, regardless of whether he is directly involved or not, Explainer Man will immediately intrude and outline his (usually crazy and wrong) theory about what is happening or the best approach to solving the problem. He has interrupted me on at least one occasion while a team member I supervise was asking me a question. The problem is that what Explainer Man is saying usually sounds convincing to someone who isn't a subject matter expert, because he is very good at bullshitting The craziness of some of his explanations even make them seem more plausible in this context.

In some ways my dealings with Explainer Man have been personally enlightening, because I feel like he is a dark mirror of what I could personally become when supervising people on my team. So I am basically trying not to be Explainer Man. The problem is, if you lay back and try not to be Explainer Man, that kind of allows more room for Explainer Man to suck all the oxygen out of the room. I'm pretty sure some of the less savvy people in our department think he is a genius.

Explainer Man is white, around 40, and something is also off about the way he interacts with younger women on his team. I can't put my finger on it, but he seems to particularly direct his explaining on them. This is relevant because...

As mentioned, in the past I just thought this guy was annoying. But recently I took over for my manager temporarily while she went out on medical leave and prior to leaving, she took me in a conference room for a private ,off-the-record conversation about... a number of problematic individuals. One of these people was Explainer Man who apparently has a history of harassment. My manager had previously been his direct supervisor and almost fired him for insubordination, except he posted out before she could build enough of a paper trail on him. He would routinely contradict her, felt she let being a manager "go to her head," and basically undermined her at every opportunity. She told her manager in our current group not to hire him under any circumstances when he interviewed. She thinks he slipped through because of the amount of people being hired and the group interview process, which is charitable of her. (Not to give too much away, but our higher level managers are largely white male former federal law enforcement officers in their 50's or older... we work in financial crimes risk management. To the extent I've personally dealt with them I get the impression that their political views border on the fascistic. I definitely wouldn't expect much sensitivity from them.).

Recently another manager went out on medical leave (basically the only other female manager) and he was FOR SOME INEXPLICABLE REASON EXCEPT YEAH THE PATRIARCHY being considered at her replacement. She again told her manager not to give this man any power, because if he was given any formal authority, he would probably find some way to abuse it. It appears this was disregarded and he's an acting team manager, causing chaos everywhere with his incompetent micromanagement. I have no idea what life must be for people on this team. Apparently he calls them in the evening to check in on their work. I'm busy with my own team and I don't really have time to look over his shoulder, and yeah it's not my job to manage him.

Anyway, this man appears destined to be my peer at the company (as mentioned we're both acting managers and I think he also posted for one of a few openings that have come up, as have I). Obviously I hate him, but I also kind of fear his ability to seemingly escape any consequences for his incompetence and abuse of the people around him. I dislike confrontation, but I'm also aware that I am the kind of person our idiot meathead bosses might actually listen to (i.e. not a woman, not a minority). Not that I have anything concrete to tell them.

I'm aware this is all kinds of fucked up, or maybe it's par for the course. I have no idea. My moral compass is probably 360 degrees of fucked after years of working at a place like this. Sorry for typing all this... this is the first time I've really fully articulated my issues with what is happening in any forum.

Old Neon, Friday, 12 January 2018 19:43 (two months ago) Permalink

So I am basically trying not to be Explainer Man.

I feel like my Explainer Man tendencies are mostly limited to ilx these days (sorry guys) but yes, this is a life epiphany many people need

mh, Friday, 12 January 2018 19:44 (two months ago) Permalink

do any of you have the typical "Escalating Telephone Game" issue at work? I was out sick today with a bad sinus infection, only to log in to see what emails I missed end of day and find the following:

1) two mgrs ask a question about a recent configuration change made that they think was done "in error"
2) the dude who co-sponsored the change, instead of explaining why it was valid, misinterprets what they're saying and opens the door for them to start reverting these changes
3) actual directives are given in a task to begin undoing some of the work
4) I spend 40 minutes having to explain why they changes were correct and should not be reverted, while angrily wondering why the co-sponsor couldn't just do me a solid when I was sick and handle it properly rather than make it worse!

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Monday, 22 January 2018 23:32 (one month ago) Permalink

oh most definitely

I have a coworker who has some... tendencies.. that remind me of myself in years past. If something is in question, they'll ask why they have to do it, and if you respond relatively quickly with an answer they don't like, they'll get irritated and very... engaged

first message: this seems complicated, can we do it Y way. this is a standard software service we have implemented, everyone calls it the same way, we don't need to support a one-off

I pass it on to my coworker who handles the security stuff. He says yeah, you need to do this and this. They respond "why do I have to do <thing that isn't quite right>" and he clarifies. Then it escalates into a chain of single sentence questions, sent about a minute apart, for ten minutes without us able to get a word in edgewise.

like I was never quite this intense and not about work stuff, but the rapid-fire frantic thing makes me have to take a breath and calm down because this is exactly how my brain worked when I was EXTREMELY ANXIOUS all the time. it's just not good for my mental health to engage with them like this

mh, Monday, 22 January 2018 23:41 (one month ago) Permalink

sorry, this was me talking, not the questioner
this is a standard software service we have implemented, everyone calls it the same way, we don't need to support a one-off

mh, Monday, 22 January 2018 23:42 (one month ago) Permalink

Finding it difficult to take my boss seriously since she came to me to ask me how to keep her shoelaces tied a few months ago.
But then finding I'm supposed to.

Stevolende, Monday, 22 January 2018 23:47 (one month ago) Permalink

I feel that with the rapid-fire response example above. I find myself having to leave messages unread until I've had time to let the moment pass!

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 23 January 2018 00:17 (one month ago) Permalink

kudos to the colleague who has worn a faded blue Rockport sweatshirt into work today

Thomas NAGL (Neil S), Tuesday, 23 January 2018 12:52 (one month ago) Permalink

I just got a phone call thru the normal IVR queue customers'd call in via. I get a roomful of blokes on speakerphone talking, and not acknowledging my "hello? hello?" and it dawns on me that
a) they cant hear me
b) its my Sydney office sales team
c) they're bitching about my team, and the fact we dont answer the phone ever
d) this isnt true but theyre railing about it anyway not realising I'm hearing the lot

I ended up hanging up but man, that was an earful to hear. THANKS GUYS.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 25 January 2018 02:48 (one month ago) Permalink

^wtf, why do people assume that just cos someone can't be heard, they aren't actually there on the line? there were a few times where I was silent not because I couldn't be heard, but because people were already talking when I joined, and then they'd talk about me like I wasn't there, so I'd surprise them with a hello.

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 25 January 2018 16:17 (one month ago) Permalink

the best comparison I can give for my department currently = that episode of The Bozo Show where Cookie has a fish stand with a sign that says "Fresh Fish Sold Here Today" and Wizzo comes by and criticizes the sign for what he perceives is an overabundance of information and keeps ripping off pieces of the cardboard sign until eventually there's no sign left.

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 25 January 2018 16:19 (one month ago) Permalink

I think with that call they thought they'd hung up, but hadnt properly.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 26 January 2018 03:35 (one month ago) Permalink

Larry sanders shatner .gif

i,CloudiOS (darraghmac), Friday, 26 January 2018 09:40 (one month ago) Permalink

the other day I was attending a virtual training when one of the learners, thinking they were muted, said loudly "what the fuck is this?"....was quite amusing.

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Friday, 26 January 2018 10:26 (one month ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Trying to get transferred atm as this is one of the most toxic jobs I've had the pleasure of doing. Every day it's one off comments like "you're wasting your time doing it this way" when I'm really not or like someone throwing someone under the bus via email. People get away with a lot when they're "blunt" as it blurs the line between bullying and passive aggressive bossiness. I'm within the union so there's a fair degree of protection for those who are good at their job but are soul sucking Jerks

kolakube (Ross), Thursday, 22 February 2018 18:06 (three weeks ago) Permalink

that shit erodes you slowly over time too. hoping you get transferred to a place not full of shitbeaks

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 22 February 2018 22:27 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I too have applied for a new position (full time trainer) - fairly sure I will have a good shot at getting it, as I have 12 years of related experience within the firm. it just a) might be a slight pay cut and b) not be the oasis I am hoping it will be.

but I have to leave. we've stopped consulting our clients - we have a new one that is demanding all of the customer agents read a 7-page script while helping people enroll in health benefits on calls. 7 pages, shittily formatted, in Word.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 22 February 2018 22:28 (three weeks ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

my worst co-worker's behavior is starting to annoy people other than me to the point where i believe a supervisor will have to tell her to stop soon and then we will suffer days of sulking and pass-agg social media posts/memes. she takes all her calls on speakerphone and talks very loud with the door open and she is just annoying in general and now has been making backhanded comments to me about stuff i like and don't like and today she was burning a fucking disgusting candle. i walked by and was like can you please put that out? my eyes were watering. it smelled like an overripe melon.

forensic plumber (harbl), Friday, 9 March 2018 00:10 (one week ago) Permalink

10 minute standup every day at 10. always starts 3 minutes late because one of them can't be dragged away from his keyboard. and 2 of them drift away before the end, or start editing the whiteboard, or looking at their phones. we listened through your updates, return the favour.

koogs, Monday, 12 March 2018 10:26 (six days ago) Permalink

god I hated stand ups. we don't really have them where I work now, we just use Slack to keep up-to-date with each other. smaller team though so it's more doable. although having said that I do have to get on a Skype call in a minute which is basically a stand up but that's because we're working with an external company on this project.

Colonel Poo, Monday, 12 March 2018 10:43 (six days ago) Permalink

it's not any easier because it's 3 pairs all doing different things (at the moment). so only one person cares what any other person is saying, and they should already know.

koogs, Monday, 12 March 2018 13:36 (six days ago) Permalink

Used to have a daily stand up with about 40 people in. Obviously that does not fit any normal or useful definition of the term. It was basically the bosses ensuring they were informed about everything without having to prod.

lana del boy (ledge), Monday, 12 March 2018 13:47 (six days ago) Permalink

took me way too long to realise that the '10 minute standup' in koogs' post didn't refer to colleagues trying out new takes on 'what's the deal with airline food?' ahead of a weekend appearance at the local open mic

I’m 16 and a member of UKIP’s youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 12 March 2018 13:50 (six days ago) Permalink

That would probably be worse.

lana del boy (ledge), Monday, 12 March 2018 13:55 (six days ago) Permalink

i'm certainly not in favour of it

I’m 16 and a member of UKIP’s youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 12 March 2018 14:03 (six days ago) Permalink

would 'scrum' have been clearer?

koogs, Monday, 12 March 2018 14:53 (six days ago) Permalink

Ruck or maul would be better.

Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Monday, 12 March 2018 15:11 (six days ago) Permalink

don't use scrum, it reminds me how i'm entirely and riskily ignoring Agile in my day to day

when worlds collide I'll see you again (Jon not Jon), Monday, 12 March 2018 15:42 (six days ago) Permalink

we use the term "huddle" in my office so for a moment I thought you were complaining that a co-worker does a standup set for 10 minutes at the beginning of every shift

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 March 2018 16:52 (six days ago) Permalink

so...are these not “meetings”?

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 12 March 2018 19:44 (six days ago) Permalink

the theory is that it's a stand-up because you're supposed to have the smallest group that makes sense, and literally stand up as everyone gives a brief update. no questions or interactions -- that's a follow-up after the meeting

nearly every workplace ends up breaking that at some point, either by introducing too many people working on disconnected things, or by having some idiots who decide to have what should be a follow-up discussion in the middle of the meeting

mh, Monday, 12 March 2018 19:46 (six days ago) Permalink

i'm not sure where else to discuss this... but my partner just got a couple of her coworkers fired. she took to facebook to bitch about her job and had some photos of stuff she though management was doing wrong. it was a private post only her friends etc could see, but obviously not smart. so.. a week later one of her "friends" must have taken screen caps and sent it to the higher ups. she'd already been rocking the boat about what she felt were deceptive practices where she worked, so they haul her in and try to make her sign somethingorother that says she acknowledges she's violated some code of yadda yadda, which she refused. and two of the girls that just happened to be in her photos were also given things to sign – which they did not. they're both on contracts (or were), so i guess don't have the same rights/protection as her, but one's already gotten a lawyer.
anyways, she's pretty upset about this.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 12 March 2018 20:43 (six days ago) Permalink

Wait, what were they given to sign if they just appeared in the photos but did not post them?

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:18 (six days ago) Permalink

Same form as my partner acknowledging they violated some vague terms of conduct tha no one had ever heard of before.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:20 (six days ago) Permalink

yeah wow that's fucked

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:26 (six days ago) Permalink

Yup. I feel pretty bad for them. One, apparently was kind of shit, but the other was fine and is the one who has already lawyered up. What’s amazing is they couldn’t even wait for her contract to end (in a month) - they announced it as soon as they got a hard “no” on the papers signing.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:31 (six days ago) Permalink

aaaand now she (my partner) has just taken stress leave for the week (saw a doctor today). not sure if this makes things worse or if this actually might protect her a little from repercussions.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:55 (six days ago) Permalink

What is stress leave??

Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 00:08 (five days ago) Permalink

Is she certain her employment contract/etcs didnt mention anything about social media conduct/commercial in confidence/NDA stuff? Mine does.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 00:13 (five days ago) Permalink

(Shit like this is also a very good reason for my rule of "never ever anyone ever" when it comes to FB/Twitter and work colleagues and the adding thereof. Never gonna happen).

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 00:16 (five days ago) Permalink

yeah my profile says I work at Fay Canoes

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 00:29 (five days ago) Permalink

the one time I did list where I worked and posted about a raise I got, somehow that I don't know (cos this person wasn't my FB friend), I got tattled on to my boss.

I do have a lot of coworkers on my list but they're all members of a group that I hide from reading anything I post.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 00:34 (five days ago) Permalink

she's fairly certain she never had to agree to a nda, i think in her industry it might not be a typical thing.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 01:51 (five days ago) Permalink

also, does not change how fucking dumb it was.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 01:52 (five days ago) Permalink

Trudat, but if the company has no official agreed-to rules on this stuff I doubt they can pull disciplinary on it. Assuming Canada's similar to aus on that front anyways.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 02:09 (five days ago) Permalink

well they can try. hence this one girl getting a lawyer already.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 02:50 (five days ago) Permalink

interested to see what Canada's laws are like and how the legal action will play out. In the States, if you work in a right-to-work state like I do, you still can't be fired for things like being pregnant, for retaliation, for disability, etc things all protected by law, but you can be fired without cause otherwise. they really don't need a reason. and of course it is especially easy to break the aforementioned laws and just make up another, unrelated reason.

in a way that's what gave me my second wind when shit hit the fan last year cos I figured if they wanted me out they'd find a reason so might as well say what's on my mind.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 03:17 (five days ago) Permalink

Ya. I can’t even imagine. Things like that make me so glad to live in Canada.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 17:15 (five days ago) Permalink

there are private conference rooms here that require reservation. people for some reason think they're first come first serve and commandeer them so you have to tell them to get out.

the other annoying thing is they use it to cut through to get to their desks. it saves .00005 seconds, and they assume it's unoccupied, so they barge in and interrupt yr meeting, then loudly say "sorry" before slamming the door and breaking yr concentration.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 March 2018 18:20 (five days ago) Permalink

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