Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Girl I work with is chatting to a male customer in friendly fashion as she serves him. He leaves, then me and her have this conversation.

Annoying Girl: "I hope people don't get the wrong idea!"
Me: "Eh?"
AG: "About me and the guy. I hope people don't start thinking we're going out, just because I'm friendly to him when he comes in."
Me: "Eh, I don't think people will assume that."
AG: "You don't think the bosses would fire me for it? You know, for being too friendly with the customers?"
Me: "Eh, no." (Thinking: Christ Almighty!)
AG: "I'm really worried now. They wouldn't fire me for it, would they?"
Me: "I doubt it."

A few minutes pass...

AG: "I'm still really worried. They wouldn't fire me, would they?"
Me: "NO!" (Thinking: leave me alone, you neurotic freak!)

Then this crazy elderly man, a regular customer, comes in. He was in a car accident which left him, (how shall I put this?), barking mad. He thinks he's a real estate owner, and I'm one of his tenants, despite the fact that he asks me for money for tobacco every time he comes in. He proceeds to tell the annoying girl about all the houses he owns, and how I am one of his tenants etc, etc, while drooling and smelling terrible! He leaves.

AG: (genuinely) "Was that true, what he was saying?"
Me: "Oh my, no."
AG: "It could have been..."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it wasn't" (Thinking: Christ! I think I'd know if I was one of his tenants!)
AG: "Appearances can be deceptive..."
Me: "No, I'm pretty sure he's barking mad."
AG: "But-"
Me: "NO!"

It was a long day at work. I feel better now I've got it off my chest! Now it's your turn to bitch.

What makes it even more irritating is that she's a very NICE person. No harm in her at all, just really annoying and stupid. So I feel bad for bitching about her, yet I am compelled to do so!

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:19 (twenty years ago) link

One of the managers at the petrol station once called me outside for a smoke and to talk to me, it was a bit like the Warden Norton/Tommy scene in Shawshank Redemption.

Boss:"Ronan could you comb your hair next time you come to work"

Me:"eh in fairness the contract doesn't say anything about me having to comb my hair"

Boss:"yeah but I mean you're a student now yeah? this job isn't so bad. they look after you well, it's a good wage, I'm happy with my lot"

Me:"I don't think there's any chance of me ever working here for a living, long term"

Boss:"Yeah and they pay your health insurance, it's not too difficult a job either"

Me:"Yeah no I'm never going to want to work here, to be honest I was planning on quitting as soon as I start college, or maybe even sooner, you needn't tell the main boss that"

Boss:"Oh don't worry, whatever is discussed here stays here. *long David Brent style lecture* I know what it's like to work WITH people and AROUND people, and I know that this station is not being run as effectively as possible, it's a clique, and I'm sure you can see that too Ronan. But quitting isn't going to change that. You quitting will not make this a smoother operation.

Me:"Eh I don't care about this job, I'm not sure what your point is"

Boss:"All I'm saying is, think about what I've said to you yeah? Just think about it"


Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:45 (twenty years ago) link

Is it only DCU students who work with stupid, annoying people?

DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 28 November 2002 23:50 (twenty years ago) link

no, its anyone who has ever worked in bars with no-neck, arrogant-for-no-reason wankers, with no brain function other than the tiny amount required to raise a beer to their filthy mouths after a shift.

donna (donna), Friday, 29 November 2002 04:26 (twenty years ago) link

Hurrah for it is the last day of the CompulsiveEatingBurpingCulotteWearingTactlessJollyCoWorker today!!! What will hopefully be my last annoying conversation with her happened first thing on Wednesday morning:

CEBCWTJCW: Morning Rachel!!! Oooh! What have you done to your NOSE??

Me: What? Oh yeah, it's a spot.

CEBCWTJCW: No! You've cut yourself or something! It's really RED.

Me: No, really, it's just a big, shiny, noticeable spot.

CEBCWTJCW: It looks really BAD!

At this point I gave up all hope of having a good day.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:17 (twenty years ago) link

Day one at my new job.

Woman At Next Desk: Oh, you used to live in London? So did I. I moved back after my daughter started school and, to be honest, I'm really glad I did. The education you get in London is terrible.

Madchen: I've heard inner city schools are, er, challenging.

WAND: Oh yes. I mean, she was one of only three white faces in the class.

Madchen: Oh. (Mutters something under her breath about 1 in 4 Scots).

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:26 (twenty years ago) link

My co-worker Oh, I'm not being funny.... but could you only buy your lunch from the shop across the road from now on? When you go anywhere else it takes too long. Maybe you should bring a pack up from home.

Me (in my head): No, fuck off you food fascist. You're the one who is consistantly 15 minutes late back from lunch every day, and I know I'll spend the last hour of the day sitting around doing nothing listening to you go on and on and on so it's not like we're really busy. And God, just never speak to me again!

Me (in reality): Yeah, no problem.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:29 (twenty years ago) link

Maddie, immediately invent an obscure food allergy that REQUIRES you to go to a different shop! Oh , and then KILL HER.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:50 (twenty years ago) link

haha, madchen, fuck you! ;)

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:52 (twenty years ago) link

What the hell? Why, precisely, was that necessary, dwh? Christ on a bike.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:57 (twenty years ago) link

Maddie, your co-worker is EVIL. There's only one place you should go for an off-site lunch and that's THE PUB!

robster (robster), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:58 (twenty years ago) link

Rule 2858 in a series of obscure rules:

Office twats who preface statements with 'I'm not being funny' should recognise that everything following the phrase comes with its own virtual kill file.

My other suggestion would be to canvass other coworkers for a pizza delivery one Friday and exclude her blatantly.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:10 (twenty years ago) link

I want to invent a food allergy but then I'd be like her! She's allergic to garlic, alcohol, traffic fumes, manmade fibres, "still air" (this means we have the fan on in the winter so the air circulates and her eyes don't "gum up"), some other stuff that I forgot and, of course, EVER DOING ANY WORK. She is allergic to getting off her arse, I fear.

And the "I'm not being funny/I'm not having a go/I don't want you to take this the wrong way...." rule. I reckon if you have to start a sentence with any of these statements, you shouldn't be saying the sentence at all!

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:30 (twenty years ago) link

Oh, and I can't canvass others to share food. There's only me and her in the whole shop. And when it's quiet she talks to me like we're friends but we're not. It's all very unfortunate.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:32 (twenty years ago) link

Haha 'still air'????

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:37 (twenty years ago) link

This stupid stupid woman sent every single person here an email saying that she left 60 centimes in the coffee machine and asking for whoever finds it to bring it to her office. What a scrooge!

Miss Laura, Friday, 29 November 2002 11:58 (twenty years ago) link

it wasn't sincere, liz, it was just a grumble about the allegation that 1/4 of scots are racist, y'know. the 'haha' was meant to temper it, sorry.

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 12:39 (twenty years ago) link

Allegation? My personal experience is this:

I work in a room with two people. Person 1 said to me all the stuff I wrote above. She thought nothing of saying it to a stranger (the assumption, I guess, being that I would think the same). Person 2 laughed along merrily. Also, I have come across numerous people in Glasgow who tell me they get scared in London because there are so many black people around. Again, the way they express themselves implies they feel no sense of shame whatsoever - they just don't see there's anything wrong in expressing obviously prejudiced opinions.

I'm not denying for a second that racism doesn't exist elsewhere (and I'm not forgetting that the survey found 3 in 4 Scots aren't racist) but this is the only place I've encountered bigots who have the expectation that my opinion must be the same as theirs.

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 13:17 (twenty years ago) link

Try the deli counter at S**n**ury's. I get so many customers who expect me to agree with their racist opinions simply because I am white. Twats.

alix (alix), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:42 (twenty years ago) link

e-mail from my boss: "when I came in on Monday, the Threepenny Opera files were not online. I expect that when I assign a task that it will be completed. Don't let this happen in the future."

reply from me: "actually, on Friday we both determined that we had the wrong CD and would have to special order a new copy. On Monday."

reply from my boss: "There must have been some miscommunication here."

yeah, between your ears and your brain. moron!

Dave M. (rotten03), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:56 (twenty years ago) link

Suzy, you aren't generalising wildly enough: yes, anyone who says "I'm not being funny, but" is best punched, hard and often, but this applies to most other sentences on the "I'm not being [X], but" model. X=racist obviously means "I am a loathsome racist", most obviously and clearly. Try 'sexist' or 'nasty' too.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:18 (twenty years ago) link

Happily I've been blessed with a slew of great co-workers. I will say that some years back the news that someone was departing from our neck of the woods to go elsewhere was greeted with quiet relief, though.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:30 (twenty years ago) link

Maddy, if she's your boss and only other co-worker then it sounds like she needs you more than you need her. POINTEDLY go to other shops to get your lunch. I say ignore the instruction.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:55 (twenty years ago) link

Annoying Coworker: Yes, well, that account would be able to fund your entity if you hadn't taken money from it without telling me.
Me: What?
Annoying Coworker: (holds up wire) See? $147,000 from my account.
Me: No, we gave you money.
Annoying Coworker WHO GETS PAID LOTS MORE THAN ME: NO YOU DID NOT. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't write wires without telling me in the future.
Me: Did you look at this? You account is on the credit side. Management (nb: my account) is on the debit side!
Annoying Coworker: Whatever, just don't do it again.

What the fuck?

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:50 (twenty years ago) link

one month passes...
We've got two new people here this year - one of whom is very cool and I hardly see, so we get along really well. The other one, though - a nightmare. She's the epitome of simpering little girl-ness, speaks to me (and most everyone else) as though I'm a retarded child when in fact I've been doing the job that she's just begun (and is completely incompetent at, I might add) for 12 years. She's one of those people who has never met anyone as fascinating as herself in all of her born days and if she doesn't calm down, stop being a stupid bitch and stop second guessing every word I say to her, I will hit her in the head with a brick.

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 19:26 (twenty years ago) link

The receptionist keeps telling everyone she's going through post partum depression.

Despite the fact that she's obviously still pregnant.

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:47 (twenty years ago) link

My head hurts.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (twenty years ago) link

How about the dumbass cockfarmer that came into the library coughing and sneezing in such an ostentatious way it's like he intentionally planned a big Outbreak scenario? Now I'm at home running a fever and I think I might have bronchitis again.

Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (twenty years ago) link

Hm. Find him and kill him.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:51 (twenty years ago) link

I was depressed about being unemployed until I saw this thread. Thank you everyone. :)

fractal (fractal), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:06 (twenty years ago) link

I was also informed that I wasn't authorized to approve payment on technological items.

However, I AM authorized to purchase them, however I want, whenever I want.

What does that even mean?

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:13 (twenty years ago) link

It means you got the kingdom, you got the key. Order yourself everything you ever wanted and don't share.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:16 (twenty years ago) link

people should post more on this thread. i like it.

Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 04:23 (twenty years ago) link

What follows is an email that was sent to some friends last spring, after a particularly bad morning with co-workers.

SUBJECT LINE: I gotta get outta this place
...if it's the last thing I ever do (feel free to hum along.)

After a delightful morning spent discussing why someone:
1. Shouldn't open a printer paperfeed drawer, while the printer is printing;
2. Shouldn't send emails to everyone on their mailing lists about Church-related emails;
3. Should let others know when they need the printer instead of deleting documents in the queue;
4. Shouldn't tell someone "this is urgent" so they work really late to get it finished, when really, it isn't urgent at all and in fact, doesn't need to be done at all; and
5. Shouldn't take someone else's lunch from the refrigerator and leave it on the counter to make room for "extra drinks in case we have visitors,"
I have now experienced the conversation to top them all (and really, you have to laugh at this one. I did. Once I calmed down, imbibed chocolate and nicotine, and thought "well, at least it's not quantum physics?). So....here it is:

A Dialogue between "M" (yours truly) and "S" (Otherwise known as Scarett/Princess/Arch Nemesis/The Scarf Lady/etc.)
S: Hey "M"!
M: Yes?
S: You know how to work that digital camera yet?
M: Yeah, figured it out last week.
S: How long does it take to get those photos developed?
M: What?
S: I need some photos really fast, so I can photocopy them and make notes on the back. And get duplicates too, in case they get messed-up.
M: What? What pictures do you need taken?
S: I need to you take pictures of my computer.
M: Why?
S: I need to know what's on my computer.
M: (sigh) You are looking for a file?
S: No, I need to know what is on my screen thing.
M: (dawning awareness) You need screen captures?
S: No, I need pictures of my computer.
M: For....?
S: I need to know what's on my screen, 'cause these instructions don't make sense and I want to make notes.
M: Okay, then you need a picture of the information on your screen, that you can print and add notes to?
S: Yes.
M: Okay, we don't need the camera for that. We can just do screen captures. It's easy.
(M walks over to other office, taking deep and soothing breathes all the while, and explains how to "CTRL+ALT+PrtScn" - runs into trouble with explanation of holding down all keys at the same time. Eventually resolved and screen is captured.)
M: Now open Word and set the page to ?Landscape.?
S: My computer won't do that.
M: What? Yes it will.
(M goes through brief discussion of "portrait" vs "landscape" and how to perform operation in Word. Discovers part of problem is that S doesn?t know how to open Word because the icon isn?t on her desktop.)
M: Now just hit "Shift+Insert" and your screen shot will be inserted.
M: No, you need to hold down both keys at the same time.
M: I don't know, that's just the way the program is designed.
M: Yeah, it is find of frustrating.
M: Okay, now you have it. Just insert a new page for each of the next screen captures and then print the file.
(M returns to own desk and gets back into rhythm of formatting proposal.)
S: M! It isn't working. I want you to take the pictures for me.
M: I don't have time to take the pictures right now, I have to get this back to _____.
S: Well, I don't have the time to use the camera, so I guess this won't get done and _____ will be mad.
M: Yeah, I guess ___ will be mad, but I'll explain the problem to him.
S: Can't you do these thingys for me?
M: No, not right now. I have to get this done.
S: You know, it's your job to do this.
M: No, actually it isn't. I am sorry, but I really can't do it right now. If I have time later I'll come over and see what we can do. In the meantime, why don't you look under the "Help" menu to see if those instructions are better.
S: Oh, my computer doesn't have any "Help" on it. I keep telling ____ he needs to fix it, but he won't.

(M decides, for sake of sanity, to not try and figure out what that last comment means and returns to her editing, swearing all the while.)
End of original email.

And here are additional interesting tidbits about ?S?:
She claimed on her resume to be ?Microsoft Certified,? but was unable to explain what that meant;
She wrote all of her correspondence in Excel, because she didn?t know how to open Word (the icon wasn?t on her desktop);
When she came into work each morning, she made herself a pot of tea and sat in her cubicle reading household decorating magazines and drinking tea for the first two hours: and, best of all
She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she ?didn?t want to fill it up with things? (and it was a 20 G HD!) File was eventually determined, by her, to be on a floppy. But floppy was blank when co-worker opened it. Eventually ?S? showed supervisor where she stored all of her floppys containing important info. She was attaching them to the metal parts of her cubicle with large magnets, so she ?could always find them.?

~ Laura (who is thankful that she can claim to be a happy rat, that abandoned the sinking ship in time to move to a much cushier and affluent ship, and is now ridiculously happy with things)

LCD (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 05:13 (twenty years ago) link

She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she "didn't want to fill it up with things" (and it was a 20 G HD!)

I've met a few people who have done basic "computer literacy" courses at colleges and Adult Ed. places who do this. What seems to happen is: the college says "don't store your files on the hard drive [of our lab computers], use a floppy" and the person absorbs this without understanding *why* they're being told it.

These sort of courses always seem to produce people who can't do anything except exactly what was on the course, and then only if their computer is set up exactly like the college ones were. Hence, not being able to start Word if it doesn't have a desktop icon.

(of course, the other stuff shows that this person seems to be a fuckwit regardless of that)

caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 10:49 (twenty years ago) link

Laura, that's fantastic.

The ex-receptionist at my office once printed out an email so she could type it up in Word.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:02 (twenty years ago) link

is that why she's an ex-receptionist?

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:30 (twenty years ago) link

awwwwww, usually this stuff would make me mad, but today i want to find them all and help them and give them tea.

it's a sappy day.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:42 (twenty years ago) link

Heh, you'd think so wouldn't you. In actual fact, it wasn't until she went on holiday for 6 weeks and nobody noticed her absence that it became the MD realised that we could do without her.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:48 (twenty years ago) link

sounds familiar - we had a Communications Executive who never did any communicating.

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:54 (twenty years ago) link

We also had an account executive who used to wander around the office to kill time. He had this time-consuming trick of getting up from his desk and finding a bin in another part of the building to throw his litter into (rather than the bin under his desk). Another trick was to go down to the fax machine to send a fax, return to his desk, wait a couple of minutes and then return to the fax machine to collect the piece of paper.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:00 (twenty years ago) link

One of my new colleagues is, to all intents and purposes, Jade. I quote:

1. "What does agriculture mean?"

2. "I was so annoyed. Someone threw themselves under my tube yesterday. People that do that must be mad."

3. Me: "Just tell them to put the web address in and it will take them straight into the site."

Her: "What address? Their address?"

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:06 (twenty years ago) link

I can't decide whether to post this to the annoying colleague or the B.O. thread, so I'm going to post it to both! Anyhow, in one office where I worked we had a guy with a B.O. problem and the managers had to have words with him in private on a couple of occasions. And yes, on those rare occasions when my sinuses were clear (one day in seventeen approx) it was quite annoying and offensive to me. However, it was NOT NEARLY AS ANNOYING AND OFFENSIVE as the colleague who used to go on and on about it all the bloody time whenever the guy with the problem walked out of the room! Not only that, but as soon as he left she used to reach for the can of air freshener which she kept on her desk *specially* and spray about a litre of it about the place! So instead of an office smelling of sweat we had an office reeking of air freshener!

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 13:58 (twenty years ago) link

Mailroom guy who looks like a troglodyte - "I wanted 'digical'[pronounced thus] TV cuz I don't have enough channels! They were supposed to install it on Friday but they didn't - the whole weekend I had nuthin' to do! I was really looking forward to it too!"

dave q, Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:21 (twenty years ago) link

i don't want to help any of those people, though. far too annoying. the previous lot were quite sweet.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:45 (twenty years ago) link

I pretty much get along with my immediate co-workers, and none of them are so annoying that I can't tune them out. However, I once shared an office with a foot fetishist. No kidding; he was friggin' profiled in the Village Voice about it, and was completely calm and collected when I mentioned "so I saw the Voice today..."! I guess we all have our private interests, but we don't all alert the press about it!

Other things he did: worked at his cube standing up (making everyone around him very tense), unbuttoned his shirts halfway down his chest, commented on every phone conversation I had (work related or not), talked to himself, and played horrible CD-Rs of cabaret tunes he wrote and produced. I think the whole experience inoculated me against ever being annoyed by co-workers again.

mike a (mike a), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 16:14 (twenty years ago) link

Okay, here's another example from today. We had a sales rep come in to demo a software package/online service that provides journal content. Anyhoo, I did a sample search, and one of the citations that got brought up was from an Ethiopian journal. She said (in all seriousness): "Wow! I didn't think that Ethiopians even had any paper, let alone journals!"

Unfortunately something this stupid is uttered in my office at least once a day...

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:26 (twenty years ago) link

The amount of coworkers you've killed in your head must make quite the body count.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:54 (twenty years ago) link

You have no idea. Entire populations have been erased.

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:56 (twenty years ago) link

"As the final screams echoed away into caverns of oblivion, Nicole turned off her death rays and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. 'Should I have used so much napalm?'"

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:57 (twenty years ago) link

it was appropriate in context lol

sarahell, Friday, 23 December 2022 18:26 (one month ago) link

HR tried to ask us today if we could catch up a learner who misses a lot of material by recording the training session on MS Teams. besides the practical reasons this wouldn't work, they apparently aren't familiar with wiretap/eavesdropping laws, which would require us to get permission from all learners in 2-party states before recording.

while technically we record other meetings, we do disclose it, and it's easier to get away with because a) often times the people in recorded meetings aren't doing any talking themselves, b) the meetings are short, and c) if they don't want to be recorded, they're allowed to just leave, no harm no foul.

a new hire cannot voluntarily leave training, and are going to be doing a LOT of talking, and might view it as creepy surveillance. if they don't agree to being recorded, we'd have to stop abruptly.

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Friday, 23 December 2022 21:21 (one month ago) link

so one of our new hires was struggling in class and we put them on a 3-day improvement plan, and the TM has transparently tried to interfere in the process, trying to pressure the instructors to fail her on the plan since Day 1 (which would end her employment).

she wound up passing, and he is refusing to budge. I am in process of determining whether I go to HR to complain about his interference. As it stands, if we did fail her now and she complained to HR, I am 100% sure they would side with her, noting in the email trail that it seemed the TM was pushing for a result before it even began.

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 29 December 2022 19:17 (one month ago) link

and this is after I explained this to him multiple times over three days. at this point just to spite him I would have passed her even if she showed up to the session and took a shit on camera.

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 29 December 2022 19:19 (one month ago) link

does the shitting relate to her job duties? I mean, if someone takes a shit on camera and there is no one there to watch it?

sarahell, Friday, 30 December 2022 17:45 (one month ago) link

Goddamn, please just quit. Please. You are miserable here, I get it. But please stop subjecting the rest of us to the constant complaints and bitching, the negativity you radiate is soul destroying.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 18:43 (three weeks ago) link

Thought you were referring to an ilx poster, which would’ve been reasonable

G. D’Arcy Cheesewright (silby), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 19:31 (three weeks ago) link

Ha, no. Just a co-worker that is driving me particularly nuts today. I've been out of the office for about three weeks dealing with a series of family emergencies so, admittedly, my priorities and what is actually important have shifted, but her constant bitching and complaining about everything are soul-draining today. Sure, there are valid frustrations worth venting about, but she actively seeks out new things to be miserable about and absolutely insists on rubbing those miserable things in other peoples' faces.

I mean, not to belabor the point, but this is just a small sample of quote from her during just the three hours I've been in the office with her:

"I hate his fucking face, retire already dude"
"Don't fucking call me, I sent you an email"
"Oh my god, I can't believe they gave (random person x) this new title, that's absolute bullshit"
"Oh and look, (random person y) got a promotion, what an absolute slap in the fucking face"
"Just seeing his car makes me so angry"
"I've only cried about this place three times this week"

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 19:58 (three weeks ago) link

"I order you to be quiet!"

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 19:59 (three weeks ago) link

see as much as I ever griped about my own company, out loud outbursts are something I'd consider out of bounds when I was in an office. nobody wants to hear my internal monologue and being on the receiving end of it is massively aggravating. if ya gotta vent, find a vent buddy and do so electronically, and make sure you listen to them vent too (like me and my boss's boss).

like i'd be tempted to tell that woman "this isn't your private suite here, other people can hear you". we used to have one who would loudly berate her kid on the phone and bang her fist on the desk aggressively. and another one who'd go on loud rants until his boss came over to him and said "I'm tired of having people complain to me about you - do you hear yourself?"

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:22 (three weeks ago) link

*about you to me!

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:22 (three weeks ago) link

Oh she knows very well that other people can hear her, these aren't outbursts, she specifically walks over to other people to share these thoughts. Headphones are no deterrent, she wants the audience and if you don't at least acknowledge her complaint of the minute, she'll keep throwing more at you until you engage to her satisfaction. It's exhausting.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:31 (three weeks ago) link

You can't tell her to leave you alone?

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:33 (three weeks ago) link

xpost - lol, as I was typing that last one she walked back over to complain about some email she got. One would think after my tenth straight noncommittal grunt in response, she'd get a hint, but nope. As another coworker, he days are filled with reminding us that she's the main character around here.

As professionally and non-confrontationally as I can, yes. Multiple times. It doesn't phase her.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:34 (three weeks ago) link

"another coworker says, her days"

Anyway, she's always been like this. I don't know if it's just gotten worse while I was away from the office, or I'm just much more sensitive to it after the personal challenges I've had, but good lord it's just a neverending stream. I think the problem is that the two other people in the office she does this to openly encourage her bitching.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:38 (three weeks ago) link

Seems like someone should fire her tbqh

G. D’Arcy Cheesewright (silby), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:41 (three weeks ago) link

If only. She's been threatening to quit since I started four years ago, but sadly absolutely zero follow-through on that. She's very good at holding her complaints in when anyone with any power whatsoever is within earshot.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:45 (three weeks ago) link

she may be annoying, but she's not stupid

maf you one two (maffew12), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:54 (three weeks ago) link

I would be strongly tempted to tell her exactly what Jon posted.

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 20:54 (three weeks ago) link

my company fired someone toxic like this back in 2006. she was about 65 years old, claimed to everyone she was married to a 'rich' husband, didn't 'need' this job but wanted it because she liked helping customers (despite complaining about every one of them), would claim to not be racist and use phrases like "towelhead", also shared someone's confidential HIV diagnosis with another colleague without his permission.

it still took two years to get rid of her due to our HR always wanting to 'give another chance'.

jon have you considered playing grindcore really loudly so that it bleeds out of your headphones and she can hear it? and then point at your headphones and shrug every time she comes over?

lol that wouldn't work but it'd be fun trolling.

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 21:41 (three weeks ago) link

lol, I was actually listening to Cattle Decapitation earlier when she came over.

I mean, I've literally picked up my earbuds and put them back in my ears while she's talking at me, I think I'll have to be even more direct.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 21:47 (three weeks ago) link

time to bring in an airhorn

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 21:53 (three weeks ago) link

Remind me again, jvc, do you have an HR dependent at your work? I would absolutely talk with them about this if so, though I think you probably have exhausted this avenue already.

Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 22:11 (three weeks ago) link

I have not formally pursued that path yet, no. Our HR process is extremely formal and distant, and I've heard a few horror stories about how they've handed some complaints in the past.

I think I need to document some specific ways she's impacting my work, otherwise I feel like my complaints might be dismissed as churlish whining.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 January 2023 22:46 (three weeks ago) link

Maybe you can just tell her "you're too blessed to be stressed" and then discuss the bowel movements of a member of your family? Idk ... like, this seems like something that can be resolved with direct communication. Just tell her straight up that you know this job is frustrating but you're trying to get through the day and hearing her complain makes it worse for you, and you have other serious personal shit going on and you don't have the capacity to listen to her while you're at work. Straight up.

sarahell, Thursday, 12 January 2023 00:18 (three weeks ago) link

The problem there is that then it becomes about whether jvc says something that she could find objectionable and complain about— not that you would, jvc, but I think that your strategy is a better response. sarahell’s is much funnier, admittedly lol

Goose Bigelow, Fowl Gigolo (the table is the table), Thursday, 12 January 2023 01:34 (three weeks ago) link

"If you don't tell me about your husband's bowels, we. Have. A. Problem."

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 January 2023 01:40 (three weeks ago) link

I am going to preface from here on out, any post I make itt is just sardonic eye-rolly stuff, not a reflection of active rage.

they asked me to review some powerpoints that were being created for training. I was supposed to have them 1/3, I got them yesterday, and was asked to do them by EOB today.

I opened them and almost howled laughing at how bad they are. too much text on slides, paragraphs on bullet points, inconsistency in presentation.

When it was evident I can't fix this mess without doing it myself, I deleted my initial feedback ("delete these files, please take the following course on Powerpoint development, then do these over"), and just gave them a list of the most actionable stuff and sent it to them. it's still gonna be a turd but w/e, I get credit for polishing it.

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 January 2023 17:50 (three weeks ago) link

i think i still am naive enough to be surprised that people get paid significant amounts of money to do things they don't know how to do ... as in, presumably these powerpoints were created by people whose jobs it is to create training materials?

sarahell, Thursday, 12 January 2023 17:58 (three weeks ago) link

they're hired to be training specialists, but I sincerely doubt any of them know Powerpoint very well. it's not really emphasized. I happened to know it pretty well coming in, but people know just enough to know how to put dots on a page and that's it.

when I started here in 2004, on Day 1, we were tasked with creating a Powerpoint in groups and present it to one of the area leaders, and I took over because one of my partners was telling people to write the Ppt in paragraph form and clearly had no idea what she was doing, and I was like "uhh no, my reputation is at stake here". lol.

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 January 2023 18:02 (three weeks ago) link

like, I do a fair amount of work for/with nonprofits that are largely volunteer run ... and this is the type of thing I will see/deal with there. Like the volunteer who is de facto in charge of marketing/outreach who sent out a mailchimp newsletter asking people to contribute to the org's Godfundme campaign

sarahell, Thursday, 12 January 2023 18:03 (three weeks ago) link

convo between me and a co-worker, who I will call Gweezybork

Gweezybork: Neanderthal, learner can't get into our call interaction program, she's tried, she's opened a ticket with IT, nothing happens when she clicks logon button.

Neanderthal: guarantee you she's not connected to VPN, that's literally the cause 999 out of 1000 times

Gweezybork: now she can't get into this other application as well

Neanderthal: ok, pretty obvious she's not on VPN, that's why she can't get into any application.

Gweezybork: She tried to reinstall the program, that's not working

Neanderthal: It's almost as if SHE'S NOT CONNECTED TO VPN, can you tell her that now that I've asked three times?

Gweezybork: You were right, she was disconnected from VPN.

(this person didn't notice they were disconnected for 3 whole hours)

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 24 January 2023 17:09 (one week ago) link

same person sends follow up messages about the issue as if the conversation earlier didn't happen, and then doesn't respond to a single follow-up message for two hours (finally had to enter their class and physically say "please see your side chat - now")

fentanyl young (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 24 January 2023 22:17 (one week ago) link

"did the survey email go out yesterday morning? I don't have a copy"

"yes, I'll forward to you"

"thank you, but that is the email from Tuesday morning, I need the one from yesterday morning."

"oh! sent"

"Thank you, but this is from Tuesday afternoon. I need the one from yesterday morning (Wednesday)."

"ok. sent."

"This is the same email you just sent me."

"Neanderthal, calling you"


"So to confirm, you need the email from Tuesday, right?"


I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE DIAPER GOT LOOSE (Neanderthal), Thursday, 26 January 2023 18:29 (one week ago) link

teacher in my department likes to tell students "i am a college professor"

reality: they participated in guest lectures for a non-credit-bearing online course from an online university that doesn't award degrees

the late great, Thursday, 26 January 2023 18:36 (one week ago) link

Lol damn

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE DIAPER GOT LOOSE (Neanderthal), Thursday, 26 January 2023 18:45 (one week ago) link

inveterate self-aggrandizing bullshitters are everywhere in education. and they always fail up

maybe that's also true of college professors and public service jobs in general

actually maybe that's just the human condition, idk

the late great, Thursday, 26 January 2023 18:57 (one week ago) link

inveterate self-aggrandizing bullshitters are everywhere in education. and they always fail up

maybe that's also true of college professors and public service jobs in general

actually maybe that's just the human condition, idk

― the late great, Thursday, January 26, 2023 10:57 AM (four days ago)

human condition imo ... one of my nonprofit clients recently hired a finance manager who claimed they had expertise in all the things ... over the past couple months, this person has issued authoritative statements on various topics that are consistently wrong. Like, factually wrong. This person is being paid twice what I am being paid. This person is also not really doing their job? As in, most of the tasks requiring technical expertise have now become tasks assigned to me. The culture of this nonprofit is very much about the person managing the work actually does a lot of the work themselves, so it is feeling like "not a good fit" ... this is the fourth person they have hired in the past 6 months to do this work. The previous three were even more incompetent.

sarahell, Monday, 30 January 2023 20:52 (six days ago) link

I get the sense that this person is used to working in a more institutional/corporate environment and not for a volunteer run nonprofit that is like Murphy's Law incarnate

sarahell, Monday, 30 January 2023 20:54 (six days ago) link

the dramatic landscape at my workplace is largely shaped by a long simmering antagonism between my manager (breathtakingly incompetent human silo who repels all collaboration) and coworker (hard-working and passionate but maybe a little too attached). i very much side with the coworker but sometimes find it useful to be a little more neutral because it's easier to sidestep / ignore the long-winded email chains etc. the truth is that no one here (gov agency) has very much actual work they have to do, but everyone wants to feel like they are important so this kind of bullshit just naturally emerges i think. i'm realizing that it really doesn't work for me to get ensnared in all of it - sometimes i don't have much of a choice, but often i do, and the choice sometimes feels like a "bad" one - to check out - but it's actually good. it's weird having a job where no one really has to do much but everyone pretends that they do. there's a lot of making stuff up to do that gets praised. funny how just not doing anything, even if you can get away with it, is stressful in its own way.

ꙮ (map), Monday, 30 January 2023 21:14 (six days ago) link

i try and "do 1 thing" at least every day lol, otherwise i feel way too disconnected.

ꙮ (map), Monday, 30 January 2023 21:15 (six days ago) link

that was less about stressful coworkers and more about my bizarre job and possible adhd-related work avoidance.

ꙮ (map), Monday, 30 January 2023 21:17 (six days ago) link

it's weird having a job where no one really has to do much but everyone pretends that they do.

omg this is hilarious but also .... I can see how it can get super toxic.

sarahell, Monday, 30 January 2023 21:23 (six days ago) link

some middle schoolers are watching a nutrition video about eating less carbs and more legumes in my classroom (rainy day PE class) ... the narrator keeps saying "when you eat a nut" and this stupid annoying idiot teacher keeps giggling

oh wait, that stupid annoying idiot teacher is me

the late great, Monday, 30 January 2023 21:50 (six days ago) link

(i know nuts are not technically legumes)

the late great, Monday, 30 January 2023 21:51 (six days ago) link

peanuts are

The Terroir of Tiny Town (WmC), Tuesday, 31 January 2023 03:12 (five days ago) link

if you ask me an hour ago if I have 5 minutes to talk, and I say yes, and you don't respond for an hour, my "yes I'm available" is no longer valid.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE DIAPER GOT LOOSE (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 1 February 2023 21:10 (four days ago) link


kinder, Wednesday, 1 February 2023 22:40 (four days ago) link

So I've spent most of the day trying to herd cats enough to schedule a meeting for next week between two researchers, two outside consultants and my boss. Finally got things nailed down enough between the outside consultants and sent the two researchers a list of seven possible times. At 3:20 I sent out the email with the list of time. 3:25 - Researcher A responds and says they can only do Time Slot B and Time Slot D. 3:36 - Researcher B responds and says they can only do Time Slot D. Great, at least we all overlap on one! 3:40 - sent out the invite to everyone. 3:48 - Researcher B's assistant declines invitation and says, "sorry, Researcher B has now filled up that time slot".

So I am back to square one for the week after next because, of course, Researcher B is the most critical stakeholder to be at this meeting.

Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 2 February 2023 22:49 (three days ago) link

I don't think these people deserve to have a meeting

G. D’Arcy Cheesewright (silby), Thursday, 2 February 2023 23:23 (three days ago) link

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