Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Girl I work with is chatting to a male customer in friendly fashion as she serves him. He leaves, then me and her have this conversation.

Annoying Girl: "I hope people don't get the wrong idea!"
Me: "Eh?"
AG: "About me and the guy. I hope people don't start thinking we're going out, just because I'm friendly to him when he comes in."
Me: "Eh, I don't think people will assume that."
AG: "You don't think the bosses would fire me for it? You know, for being too friendly with the customers?"
Me: "Eh, no." (Thinking: Christ Almighty!)
AG: "I'm really worried now. They wouldn't fire me for it, would they?"
Me: "I doubt it."

A few minutes pass...

AG: "I'm still really worried. They wouldn't fire me, would they?"
Me: "NO!" (Thinking: leave me alone, you neurotic freak!)

Then this crazy elderly man, a regular customer, comes in. He was in a car accident which left him, (how shall I put this?), barking mad. He thinks he's a real estate owner, and I'm one of his tenants, despite the fact that he asks me for money for tobacco every time he comes in. He proceeds to tell the annoying girl about all the houses he owns, and how I am one of his tenants etc, etc, while drooling and smelling terrible! He leaves.

AG: (genuinely) "Was that true, what he was saying?"
Me: "Oh my, no."
AG: "It could have been..."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it wasn't" (Thinking: Christ! I think I'd know if I was one of his tenants!)
AG: "Appearances can be deceptive..."
Me: "No, I'm pretty sure he's barking mad."
AG: "But-"
Me: "NO!"

It was a long day at work. I feel better now I've got it off my chest! Now it's your turn to bitch.

What makes it even more irritating is that she's a very NICE person. No harm in her at all, just really annoying and stupid. So I feel bad for bitching about her, yet I am compelled to do so!

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:19 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

One of the managers at the petrol station once called me outside for a smoke and to talk to me, it was a bit like the Warden Norton/Tommy scene in Shawshank Redemption.

Boss:"Ronan could you comb your hair next time you come to work"

Me:"eh in fairness the contract doesn't say anything about me having to comb my hair"

Boss:"yeah but I mean you're a student now yeah? this job isn't so bad. they look after you well, it's a good wage, I'm happy with my lot"

Me:"I don't think there's any chance of me ever working here for a living, long term"

Boss:"Yeah and they pay your health insurance, it's not too difficult a job either"

Me:"Yeah no I'm never going to want to work here, to be honest I was planning on quitting as soon as I start college, or maybe even sooner, you needn't tell the main boss that"

Boss:"Oh don't worry, whatever is discussed here stays here. *long David Brent style lecture* I know what it's like to work WITH people and AROUND people, and I know that this station is not being run as effectively as possible, it's a clique, and I'm sure you can see that too Ronan. But quitting isn't going to change that. You quitting will not make this a smoother operation.

Me:"Eh I don't care about this job, I'm not sure what your point is"

Boss:"All I'm saying is, think about what I've said to you yeah? Just think about it"


Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 28 November 2002 22:45 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Is it only DCU students who work with stupid, annoying people?

DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 28 November 2002 23:50 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

no, its anyone who has ever worked in bars with no-neck, arrogant-for-no-reason wankers, with no brain function other than the tiny amount required to raise a beer to their filthy mouths after a shift.

donna (donna), Friday, 29 November 2002 04:26 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Hurrah for it is the last day of the CompulsiveEatingBurpingCulotteWearingTactlessJollyCoWorker today!!! What will hopefully be my last annoying conversation with her happened first thing on Wednesday morning:

CEBCWTJCW: Morning Rachel!!! Oooh! What have you done to your NOSE??

Me: What? Oh yeah, it's a spot.

CEBCWTJCW: No! You've cut yourself or something! It's really RED.

Me: No, really, it's just a big, shiny, noticeable spot.

CEBCWTJCW: It looks really BAD!

At this point I gave up all hope of having a good day.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:17 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Day one at my new job.

Woman At Next Desk: Oh, you used to live in London? So did I. I moved back after my daughter started school and, to be honest, I'm really glad I did. The education you get in London is terrible.

Madchen: I've heard inner city schools are, er, challenging.

WAND: Oh yes. I mean, she was one of only three white faces in the class.

Madchen: Oh. (Mutters something under her breath about 1 in 4 Scots).

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 09:26 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

My co-worker Oh, I'm not being funny.... but could you only buy your lunch from the shop across the road from now on? When you go anywhere else it takes too long. Maybe you should bring a pack up from home.

Me (in my head): No, fuck off you food fascist. You're the one who is consistantly 15 minutes late back from lunch every day, and I know I'll spend the last hour of the day sitting around doing nothing listening to you go on and on and on so it's not like we're really busy. And God, just never speak to me again!

Me (in reality): Yeah, no problem.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:29 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Maddie, immediately invent an obscure food allergy that REQUIRES you to go to a different shop! Oh , and then KILL HER.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:50 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

haha, madchen, fuck you! ;)

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:52 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

What the hell? Why, precisely, was that necessary, dwh? Christ on a bike.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Maddie, your co-worker is EVIL. There's only one place you should go for an off-site lunch and that's THE PUB!

robster (robster), Friday, 29 November 2002 10:58 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Rule 2858 in a series of obscure rules:

Office twats who preface statements with 'I'm not being funny' should recognise that everything following the phrase comes with its own virtual kill file.

My other suggestion would be to canvass other coworkers for a pizza delivery one Friday and exclude her blatantly.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:10 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I want to invent a food allergy but then I'd be like her! She's allergic to garlic, alcohol, traffic fumes, manmade fibres, "still air" (this means we have the fan on in the winter so the air circulates and her eyes don't "gum up"), some other stuff that I forgot and, of course, EVER DOING ANY WORK. She is allergic to getting off her arse, I fear.

And the "I'm not being funny/I'm not having a go/I don't want you to take this the wrong way...." rule. I reckon if you have to start a sentence with any of these statements, you shouldn't be saying the sentence at all!

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:30 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Oh, and I can't canvass others to share food. There's only me and her in the whole shop. And when it's quiet she talks to me like we're friends but we're not. It's all very unfortunate.

Madeleine (Madeleine), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:32 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Haha 'still air'????

Archel (Archel), Friday, 29 November 2002 11:37 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

This stupid stupid woman sent every single person here an email saying that she left 60 centimes in the coffee machine and asking for whoever finds it to bring it to her office. What a scrooge!

Miss Laura, Friday, 29 November 2002 11:58 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

it wasn't sincere, liz, it was just a grumble about the allegation that 1/4 of scots are racist, y'know. the 'haha' was meant to temper it, sorry.

dwh (dwh), Friday, 29 November 2002 12:39 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Allegation? My personal experience is this:

I work in a room with two people. Person 1 said to me all the stuff I wrote above. She thought nothing of saying it to a stranger (the assumption, I guess, being that I would think the same). Person 2 laughed along merrily. Also, I have come across numerous people in Glasgow who tell me they get scared in London because there are so many black people around. Again, the way they express themselves implies they feel no sense of shame whatsoever - they just don't see there's anything wrong in expressing obviously prejudiced opinions.

I'm not denying for a second that racism doesn't exist elsewhere (and I'm not forgetting that the survey found 3 in 4 Scots aren't racist) but this is the only place I've encountered bigots who have the expectation that my opinion must be the same as theirs.

Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 29 November 2002 13:17 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Try the deli counter at S**n**ury's. I get so many customers who expect me to agree with their racist opinions simply because I am white. Twats.

alix (alix), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:42 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

e-mail from my boss: "when I came in on Monday, the Threepenny Opera files were not online. I expect that when I assign a task that it will be completed. Don't let this happen in the future."

reply from me: "actually, on Friday we both determined that we had the wrong CD and would have to special order a new copy. On Monday."

reply from my boss: "There must have been some miscommunication here."

yeah, between your ears and your brain. moron!

Dave M. (rotten03), Friday, 29 November 2002 17:56 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Suzy, you aren't generalising wildly enough: yes, anyone who says "I'm not being funny, but" is best punched, hard and often, but this applies to most other sentences on the "I'm not being [X], but" model. X=racist obviously means "I am a loathsome racist", most obviously and clearly. Try 'sexist' or 'nasty' too.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Happily I've been blessed with a slew of great co-workers. I will say that some years back the news that someone was departing from our neck of the woods to go elsewhere was greeted with quiet relief, though.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 29 November 2002 19:30 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Maddy, if she's your boss and only other co-worker then it sounds like she needs you more than you need her. POINTEDLY go to other shops to get your lunch. I say ignore the instruction.

suzy (suzy), Friday, 29 November 2002 22:55 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Annoying Coworker: Yes, well, that account would be able to fund your entity if you hadn't taken money from it without telling me.
Me: What?
Annoying Coworker: (holds up wire) See? $147,000 from my account.
Me: No, we gave you money.
Annoying Coworker WHO GETS PAID LOTS MORE THAN ME: NO YOU DID NOT. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't write wires without telling me in the future.
Me: Did you look at this? You account is on the credit side. Management (nb: my account) is on the debit side!
Annoying Coworker: Whatever, just don't do it again.

What the fuck?

Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 30 November 2002 06:50 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

one month passes...
We've got two new people here this year - one of whom is very cool and I hardly see, so we get along really well. The other one, though - a nightmare. She's the epitome of simpering little girl-ness, speaks to me (and most everyone else) as though I'm a retarded child when in fact I've been doing the job that she's just begun (and is completely incompetent at, I might add) for 12 years. She's one of those people who has never met anyone as fascinating as herself in all of her born days and if she doesn't calm down, stop being a stupid bitch and stop second guessing every word I say to her, I will hit her in the head with a brick.

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 19:26 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The receptionist keeps telling everyone she's going through post partum depression.

Despite the fact that she's obviously still pregnant.

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

My head hurts.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

How about the dumbass cockfarmer that came into the library coughing and sneezing in such an ostentatious way it's like he intentionally planned a big Outbreak scenario? Now I'm at home running a fever and I think I might have bronchitis again.

Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Hm. Find him and kill him.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 02:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I was depressed about being unemployed until I saw this thread. Thank you everyone. :)

fractal (fractal), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:06 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I was also informed that I wasn't authorized to approve payment on technological items.

However, I AM authorized to purchase them, however I want, whenever I want.

What does that even mean?

Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:13 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

It means you got the kingdom, you got the key. Order yourself everything you ever wanted and don't share.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 03:16 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

people should post more on this thread. i like it.

Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 04:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

What follows is an email that was sent to some friends last spring, after a particularly bad morning with co-workers.

SUBJECT LINE: I gotta get outta this place
...if it's the last thing I ever do (feel free to hum along.)

After a delightful morning spent discussing why someone:
1. Shouldn't open a printer paperfeed drawer, while the printer is printing;
2. Shouldn't send emails to everyone on their mailing lists about Church-related emails;
3. Should let others know when they need the printer instead of deleting documents in the queue;
4. Shouldn't tell someone "this is urgent" so they work really late to get it finished, when really, it isn't urgent at all and in fact, doesn't need to be done at all; and
5. Shouldn't take someone else's lunch from the refrigerator and leave it on the counter to make room for "extra drinks in case we have visitors,"
I have now experienced the conversation to top them all (and really, you have to laugh at this one. I did. Once I calmed down, imbibed chocolate and nicotine, and thought "well, at least it's not quantum physics?). So....here it is:

A Dialogue between "M" (yours truly) and "S" (Otherwise known as Scarett/Princess/Arch Nemesis/The Scarf Lady/etc.)
S: Hey "M"!
M: Yes?
S: You know how to work that digital camera yet?
M: Yeah, figured it out last week.
S: How long does it take to get those photos developed?
M: What?
S: I need some photos really fast, so I can photocopy them and make notes on the back. And get duplicates too, in case they get messed-up.
M: What? What pictures do you need taken?
S: I need to you take pictures of my computer.
M: Why?
S: I need to know what's on my computer.
M: (sigh) You are looking for a file?
S: No, I need to know what is on my screen thing.
M: (dawning awareness) You need screen captures?
S: No, I need pictures of my computer.
M: For....?
S: I need to know what's on my screen, 'cause these instructions don't make sense and I want to make notes.
M: Okay, then you need a picture of the information on your screen, that you can print and add notes to?
S: Yes.
M: Okay, we don't need the camera for that. We can just do screen captures. It's easy.
(M walks over to other office, taking deep and soothing breathes all the while, and explains how to "CTRL+ALT+PrtScn" - runs into trouble with explanation of holding down all keys at the same time. Eventually resolved and screen is captured.)
M: Now open Word and set the page to ?Landscape.?
S: My computer won't do that.
M: What? Yes it will.
(M goes through brief discussion of "portrait" vs "landscape" and how to perform operation in Word. Discovers part of problem is that S doesn?t know how to open Word because the icon isn?t on her desktop.)
M: Now just hit "Shift+Insert" and your screen shot will be inserted.
M: No, you need to hold down both keys at the same time.
M: I don't know, that's just the way the program is designed.
M: Yeah, it is find of frustrating.
M: Okay, now you have it. Just insert a new page for each of the next screen captures and then print the file.
(M returns to own desk and gets back into rhythm of formatting proposal.)
S: M! It isn't working. I want you to take the pictures for me.
M: I don't have time to take the pictures right now, I have to get this back to _____.
S: Well, I don't have the time to use the camera, so I guess this won't get done and _____ will be mad.
M: Yeah, I guess ___ will be mad, but I'll explain the problem to him.
S: Can't you do these thingys for me?
M: No, not right now. I have to get this done.
S: You know, it's your job to do this.
M: No, actually it isn't. I am sorry, but I really can't do it right now. If I have time later I'll come over and see what we can do. In the meantime, why don't you look under the "Help" menu to see if those instructions are better.
S: Oh, my computer doesn't have any "Help" on it. I keep telling ____ he needs to fix it, but he won't.

(M decides, for sake of sanity, to not try and figure out what that last comment means and returns to her editing, swearing all the while.)
End of original email.

And here are additional interesting tidbits about ?S?:
She claimed on her resume to be ?Microsoft Certified,? but was unable to explain what that meant;
She wrote all of her correspondence in Excel, because she didn?t know how to open Word (the icon wasn?t on her desktop);
When she came into work each morning, she made herself a pot of tea and sat in her cubicle reading household decorating magazines and drinking tea for the first two hours: and, best of all
She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she ?didn?t want to fill it up with things? (and it was a 20 G HD!) File was eventually determined, by her, to be on a floppy. But floppy was blank when co-worker opened it. Eventually ?S? showed supervisor where she stored all of her floppys containing important info. She was attaching them to the metal parts of her cubicle with large magnets, so she ?could always find them.?

~ Laura (who is thankful that she can claim to be a happy rat, that abandoned the sinking ship in time to move to a much cushier and affluent ship, and is now ridiculously happy with things)

LCD (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 05:13 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

She was once asked to provide a file that she had finished working on to another co-worker. The file was not on her hard drive for, as she explained, she "didn't want to fill it up with things" (and it was a 20 G HD!)

I've met a few people who have done basic "computer literacy" courses at colleges and Adult Ed. places who do this. What seems to happen is: the college says "don't store your files on the hard drive [of our lab computers], use a floppy" and the person absorbs this without understanding *why* they're being told it.

These sort of courses always seem to produce people who can't do anything except exactly what was on the course, and then only if their computer is set up exactly like the college ones were. Hence, not being able to start Word if it doesn't have a desktop icon.

(of course, the other stuff shows that this person seems to be a fuckwit regardless of that)

caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 10:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Laura, that's fantastic.

The ex-receptionist at my office once printed out an email so she could type it up in Word.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:02 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

is that why she's an ex-receptionist?

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:30 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

awwwwww, usually this stuff would make me mad, but today i want to find them all and help them and give them tea.

it's a sappy day.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:42 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Heh, you'd think so wouldn't you. In actual fact, it wasn't until she went on holiday for 6 weeks and nobody noticed her absence that it became the MD realised that we could do without her.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:48 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

sounds familiar - we had a Communications Executive who never did any communicating.

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 11:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

We also had an account executive who used to wander around the office to kill time. He had this time-consuming trick of getting up from his desk and finding a bin in another part of the building to throw his litter into (rather than the bin under his desk). Another trick was to go down to the fax machine to send a fax, return to his desk, wait a couple of minutes and then return to the fax machine to collect the piece of paper.

Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:00 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

One of my new colleagues is, to all intents and purposes, Jade. I quote:

1. "What does agriculture mean?"

2. "I was so annoyed. Someone threw themselves under my tube yesterday. People that do that must be mad."

3. Me: "Just tell them to put the web address in and it will take them straight into the site."

Her: "What address? Their address?"

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 12:06 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I can't decide whether to post this to the annoying colleague or the B.O. thread, so I'm going to post it to both! Anyhow, in one office where I worked we had a guy with a B.O. problem and the managers had to have words with him in private on a couple of occasions. And yes, on those rare occasions when my sinuses were clear (one day in seventeen approx) it was quite annoying and offensive to me. However, it was NOT NEARLY AS ANNOYING AND OFFENSIVE as the colleague who used to go on and on about it all the bloody time whenever the guy with the problem walked out of the room! Not only that, but as soon as he left she used to reach for the can of air freshener which she kept on her desk *specially* and spray about a litre of it about the place! So instead of an office smelling of sweat we had an office reeking of air freshener!

MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 13:58 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Mailroom guy who looks like a troglodyte - "I wanted 'digical'[pronounced thus] TV cuz I don't have enough channels! They were supposed to install it on Friday but they didn't - the whole weekend I had nuthin' to do! I was really looking forward to it too!"

dave q, Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:21 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i don't want to help any of those people, though. far too annoying. the previous lot were quite sweet.

g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 14:45 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I pretty much get along with my immediate co-workers, and none of them are so annoying that I can't tune them out. However, I once shared an office with a foot fetishist. No kidding; he was friggin' profiled in the Village Voice about it, and was completely calm and collected when I mentioned "so I saw the Voice today..."! I guess we all have our private interests, but we don't all alert the press about it!

Other things he did: worked at his cube standing up (making everyone around him very tense), unbuttoned his shirts halfway down his chest, commented on every phone conversation I had (work related or not), talked to himself, and played horrible CD-Rs of cabaret tunes he wrote and produced. I think the whole experience inoculated me against ever being annoyed by co-workers again.

mike a (mike a), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 16:14 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Okay, here's another example from today. We had a sales rep come in to demo a software package/online service that provides journal content. Anyhoo, I did a sample search, and one of the citations that got brought up was from an Ethiopian journal. She said (in all seriousness): "Wow! I didn't think that Ethiopians even had any paper, let alone journals!"

Unfortunately something this stupid is uttered in my office at least once a day...

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:26 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The amount of coworkers you've killed in your head must make quite the body count.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

You have no idea. Entire populations have been erased.

Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:56 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"As the final screams echoed away into caverns of oblivion, Nicole turned off her death rays and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. 'Should I have used so much napalm?'"

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 16 January 2003 03:57 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

he chased this Trump-esque moment by passive-aggressively scheduling a meeting Monday afternoon to talk through her transition and requesting her be there even though she's technically supposed to be on leave.

boy it was a nice 2-3 months without drama, welcome back, missed ye

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 October 2017 01:25 (one month ago) Permalink

Fuck, what a dick. Do you have any power to call him on it or report him to HR?

There's a rumour in our office about the CEO getting drunk and harassing women at events. The rumour has him being "over-flirty" but let's not bullshit. Really hoping someone is inspired by the week's events to report him. I'm leaving soon, so I'm preparing for full bridge-burning mode, and trying to work out the best strategy for challenging him before I go.

Chuck_Tatum, Monday, 16 October 2017 12:04 (one month ago) Permalink

leaving do, 12 of us. "let's just get one of each of the starters, share everything and split the bill"...

(plenty of vegetarian options so it turned out ok but... there were also people drinking and people not drinking. and then people were trying to pay with old pound coins (not legal tender since last friday))

koogs, Tuesday, 17 October 2017 13:15 (one month ago) Permalink

finally found another position that opened up that I could feasibly do in this job. Posted for it today. if nothing else it shows my boss I'm srs, and pulls me out from being client-facing. which is 80% of my pain.

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 28 October 2017 18:05 (three weeks ago) Permalink

yesterday I walked out of a conference call w/ client due to having a panic attack due to her bully-like behavior.

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 28 October 2017 18:09 (three weeks ago) Permalink

oof that doesn't sound good, hope you're ok

goole, Monday, 30 October 2017 20:46 (two weeks ago) Permalink

two guys who work near me, one is a dead ringer for john kasich and the other for michel foucault, and i do a triple take whenever i pass either one of them EVERY TIME

goole, Monday, 30 October 2017 20:47 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i'm the stupid annoying coworker here lbc

goole, Monday, 30 October 2017 20:47 (two weeks ago) Permalink

typical text message exchange for me, usually once a week or so:

text from CEO: Hey can you email me that sales data?
me: the one I send you every week on Mondays?
CEO: Yes
me: I sent it to you at 7am today. Did you get it?
CEO: Yes
me: And you need it again?
CEO: Yes
me: ??
CEO: I don't have time to search for it in my email today
me: And if I send it to you now, you will be able to find it?
CEO: Yes. And all these texts between us is taking me more time than it would have taken me to actually search for it.
me: Uh, ok.
CEO: thx

Randall Jarrell (dandydonweiner), Monday, 30 October 2017 21:52 (two weeks ago) Permalink

That sounds very familiar except it's "I accidentally deleted it as soon as I got it" instead of "don't have time to look"

WilliamC, Monday, 30 October 2017 22:06 (two weeks ago) Permalink


i got a “project” email that entailed sorting an excel spreadsheet. and that is all.

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 October 2017 22:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink

had another day today where I shut down. no idea how I can get through another day. waiting for recruiter to hopefully pass me to the pre-interview round.

our main client contact, let's just put it this way....

my colleague in the office today told me he was on a conference call during the evening before Irma, and he lives in Orlando too. they were demanding something on the weekend it was to hit and he mentioned something about having to get ready for the storm with his family.

and she remarked something like "he seems more interested in the weather than helping us"

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 31 October 2017 01:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i got a “project” email that entailed sorting an excel spreadsheet. and that is all.

Man I hope you spun that project out - "working on it, just coming up to the Ns now".

attention vampire (MatthewK), Tuesday, 31 October 2017 02:15 (two weeks ago) Permalink


Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 31 October 2017 02:16 (two weeks ago) Permalink

So having went back to work part-time after the upthread drama, I was offered a job at a smoothie stand in the mall by the manager who I'm quite pally with as a regular customer. Just a minimum wage job blending fruit and wiping surfaces to tide me over until I get myself sorted to go to uni or something.

It has been a disaster.

The team are all very lazy and last week they put a video of themselves on Whatsapp juggling the fruit we use. On my first shift the new area manager came and paid off the manager who offered me the job, apparently her retailing standards weren't good enough. Today she sacked the supervisor - no warnings or disciplinaries prior. I'm expected at the end of the day to lock up the stand by myself after one shift training how to do it, and locking up involves cashing up and carrying a few hundred quid to the bank by myself. This is a terrible job, isn't it?

boxedjoy, Monday, 6 November 2017 14:07 (one week ago) Permalink

Sounds like you are on the fast track to running the whole show there.

Moodles, Monday, 6 November 2017 19:56 (one week ago) Permalink

there's always money in the smoothie stand

mookieproof, Monday, 6 November 2017 20:16 (one week ago) Permalink

it is creepy, is it not, that a guy i'm supposed to meet about collaborating on some work for the next few weeks checked me linkedin profile the day i was put in touch with him?

coupled with the fact he is blase about meeting to begin this work we've both been asked to collaborate on, i'm feeling negative about him.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 10:34 (one week ago) Permalink

checked my* - wasn't intentionally channelling the leprechaun

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 10:34 (one week ago) Permalink

I get asked to come in on my day off and then later get given out to for asking if there was coffee around when I needed something to wake me up . & apparently wasn't the only person to feel like that.

Stevolende, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 10:57 (one week ago) Permalink

Hi everyone, this year the HR department will distribute a list containing the names and home addresses of all full-time employees to be used for personal Holiday mailings. This list will also include spouses’ names. If you would NOT like to be included on this list, please email your request to _____.

is this weird? i'm sure they mean well but this seems like a bizarre/potentially bad thing to do

mookieproof, Thursday, 9 November 2017 22:52 (one week ago) Permalink

I know that heating up fish in the microwave makes the entire office smell like ass and pisses everyone off...but what if this is the time that doesn't happen?

Fresh Toast (Old Lunch), Thursday, 9 November 2017 22:56 (one week ago) Permalink

Xp that is fucking weird - it should be an opt-in thing, not an opt-out

just1n3, Thursday, 9 November 2017 23:05 (one week ago) Permalink

Mookie yes that’s weird
It should be opt in, not opt out

calstars, Thursday, 9 November 2017 23:06 (one week ago) Permalink

Sounds like a well meaning but inexperienced HR dept there

calstars, Thursday, 9 November 2017 23:07 (one week ago) Permalink

what are "personal Holiday mailings"?

koogs, Thursday, 9 November 2017 23:07 (one week ago) Permalink

hella weird

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 9 November 2017 23:12 (one week ago) Permalink

like horrifying

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 9 November 2017 23:12 (one week ago) Permalink

Yeah thats not good. What if someone's in a DV situation?

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 9 November 2017 23:32 (one week ago) Permalink

lol it came directly from the vp of hr, who has held that position since the company was founded 17 years ago. also such a list involves at least 1000 people

idk i mean if you want to give someone a christmas card you can like, hand it to them or something

mookieproof, Friday, 10 November 2017 00:19 (one week ago) Permalink

Having to include "spouses' names" seems really weird. I suppose I probably filled in my next of kin somewhere but otherwise that is bizarre that they'd even have that on file

Colonel Poo, Friday, 10 November 2017 00:32 (one week ago) Permalink

I would never think to send xmas cards to workmates at home, that just... wtf.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 10 November 2017 00:39 (one week ago) Permalink

Ya, I don’t even send out cards to people I like!

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 10 November 2017 01:06 (one week ago) Permalink

a coworker started a realty business & sent me a flyer at home - i fired off an email to her like don’t *ever* solicit me at home

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 10 November 2017 01:13 (one week ago) Permalink

that's just wrong. we wanted to send flowers to a co worker at home and hr wouldn't give us her address (rightly so)

kinder, Friday, 10 November 2017 07:54 (one week ago) Permalink

That would be all kinds of illegal here regardless of opt in/out iirc

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Friday, 10 November 2017 09:08 (one week ago) Permalink

"have you had a chance to do that thing that's been blocking me for a week?"
"no. you just need to look at this component"

looks at this component, it is enormous and does many complicated things...

"ok. i think i need to do this, this and this. is that right?"
"yes. but can you hold off a bit because i'm also working on those files"


we have a deadline two weeks from now. i've spent the last week waiting for this thing but the rest of the team has no sense of urgency at all, keep wandering off and doing other things. frustrating.

and why is this component written in 4 different languages?

koogs, Friday, 10 November 2017 11:24 (one week ago) Permalink

a coworker started a realty business & sent me a flyer at home - i fired off an email to her like don’t *ever* solicit me at home

once some post addressed to my home address appeared in my pigeonhole at work and I was v v v confused/unnerved

it was some political bumpf pretending to be personal mail, pastel-coloured envelope, fake handwriting font, etc

turned out a coworker I barely know who lived round the corner from me was a paid-up party member delivering leaflets and recognised my name and brought it to work


a passing spacecadet, Friday, 10 November 2017 21:55 (one week ago) Permalink


Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 11 November 2017 04:38 (one week ago) Permalink

Posted in wrong forum, re posting.

Can someone give me advice on dealing with a work bully. I'm barely 2 months in a new job and the first day training with this person I was feeling sick, so they said "I don't want to babysit you" and "don't half ass it". In my first hour of training on their desk. Since then I've had this individual ask me if I'm sure I understand things I definitely do to today reaming me out for not knowing something, which I apologized for. So I told them I didn't appreciate the way they were talking to me and that there's better methods. They walked away angry. I get along with everyone else but their tone is notably different with me. There's a bully reporting hotline but that's not usually my style.

Week of Wonders (Ross), Saturday, 18 November 2017 00:46 (yesterday) Permalink

Also they go out of their way to correct me and find errors

Week of Wonders (Ross), Saturday, 18 November 2017 00:47 (yesterday) Permalink

I think your honesty with them was a start. It's difficult dealing with work bullies because when you're new, you want to lay low and learn the lay of the land first, and not come across as the "sensitive new guy", but the behavior you described is unacceptable bullshit, and somebody in charge needs to know about it.

All I'd do is self-report to your manager/agency that there was an incident, just honestly mention what you said and share your concerns, that you are looking forward to learning the process, but this type of behavior is making it difficult.

Often time work bullies feed on the idea that nobody will challenge them....sorry that you're having to deal with that!

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 November 2017 01:21 (yesterday) Permalink

Maybe he resents having to train someone? Some people are ok at their jobs but SHITE at training others with any patience - a few of my workmates can be snippy impatient cunts sometimes.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Saturday, 18 November 2017 03:30 (yesterday) Permalink

This is also true. The first time I was promoted it was too soon and i took it out on my learners. Had to be told what an SOB i was being

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 November 2017 04:03 (yesterday) Permalink

If that person has productivity goals tied into their work, they might be just spraying the stress of all that onto you

It sounds like the kind of training I got in the commercial laundry I worked in, my first day they'd show me something and basically do everything short of actually stab me if I didn't do it exactly how they showed me and then say 'I'm not your babysitter, you need to figure this out' and I'm like I'VE BEEN HERE AN HOUR AND THESE MACHINES CAN CAUSE PHYSICAL HARM, BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Office is a bit different obviously. But one thing I learned is that the whole shitty bullying training thing is often a pose to make you think their work is more important than it really is. That THEY are more important. Sometimes there might be contributing factors like productivity goals, or huge workloads that you don't know about...and they're spraying that stress onto you.

Call it out. Get them to talk about their actual workday. Sometimes that can be a leveller.

But ultimately, it's their job to train you and if they don't like you asking questions, too fucking bad. That's how you learn. If they don't show you what to do in a way that helps you learn, tell them. If that pisses them off, oh well. That's a them problem, not a you problem.

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 18 November 2017 04:42 (yesterday) Permalink

above all you must remember that your worth as a person and is not measured by how much you struggle to adapt to a new and difficult workplace change.

One thing that helped me deal with the last place I worked was to keep in my head the idea of a "tolerance level" - have a clear idea of what is and isn't acceptable to you, and be firm when calling it out. Because it's otherwise easy to let things pass and slide and then that level adjusts and you find yourself in a far worse position (eg, "I'm really unhappy with how this person spoke to me but I suppose I can let it go this one time" gives them permission to do it again)

boxedjoy, Saturday, 18 November 2017 08:38 (yesterday) Permalink

^yes, this exactly

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 November 2017 15:21 (yesterday) Permalink

Maybe he resents having to train someone? Some people are ok at their jobs but SHITE at training others

Memories of one brief job (two weeks!) spent watching longingly at the other new person being trained one team over. They'd been paired with a bouncy, chatty, fellow who was really excited about the system and knew how it all worked big picture style. I was paired with a (lovely) taciturn fellow who was clearly expert in the job but just ...

Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 18 November 2017 16:04 (yesterday) Permalink

I would also add to the advice about the bully - keep a diary with dates and contexts

Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 18 November 2017 16:06 (yesterday) Permalink

Thank you everyone, you've made me feel a lot better. I'm still thinking this one through but yeah in regards to productivity goals, this job is very much heads down and work hard and the whole thing runs like a well oiled machine. I like that, just I'm a peaceful guy and definitely agree with the knowing Yr worth angle. Cheers

Week of Wonders (Ross), Saturday, 18 November 2017 21:05 (yesterday) Permalink

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