thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

went there once when I lived in Ely in 2016/2017, enjoyed the bedroom at the end which is "haunted" by some concealed lighting & speakers and a device which makes the bed move slightly.

A week or two ago I went round Oliver Cromwell's house in Ely.

Was he in?

"Yeah, I think that's he'll be a force for republicanism in form and content! If he carks it in the next week and we move smoothly on to William the Bald, the window will have closed."

Where is the assumption that William might be better coming from?

The Prince of Wales

Yes, I don't see it at all. How is he in any way better? Nothing I have seen goes beyond the utterly superficial and ephemeral...he is young and has an attractive young wife. Oh, and he occasionally speaks vaguely like the people we converse with on a day-to-day basis, in Estuary English, rather than in an antiquated upper class way to rhyme 'home' with 'game' and 'perhaps' with 'crepes'.

Like, hello? People with normal accents, young people and attractive people can still hold (C/c)onservative views.

Other than that, it is just the MSM editorialising by linking anything vaguely charitable he does or says with the "caring nature of his late mother".

William is much more agreeable for most actual Royalists who think Charles is too much a weird boat-rocking hippie (think Farage and the like) plus that William has always felt to them more Diana's son than Chuck's.

William's statements are usually about conservation, climate change & mental health, which is a bit more palatable than architecture and alternative medicine.

he is young and has an attractive young wife.

He's 40. Charles has got increasingly crankier and unpleasant as he's got older - not that he was ever not cranky and unpleasant - I fully expect William to go the same way.

My wife and I (both Americans, FTR) discussed this weekend the idea that maybe it would be a good thing if Chuck were to say "Fuck this shit, I'm the king, I'm gonna be the fucking king" and rescind your new prime minister's position, dissolve Parliament by royal edict, and turn your little island back into an absolute monarchy. I mean, how much worse could he shit the bed than your last three leaders have done? And before you say "constitutionally, he can't" I say that it would be highly amusing for the prime minister and Parliament to be forced to deploy the military against a rebel king, and I genuinely wonder which side the population would land on.

Don't 'your little island' us you cheese-murdering ingra---ahaha I mean why yes that would be splendid good sir.

Population would side w/ the military, as they would not want to get shot.

But of course Charles also has zero motivation to embark on this fantasy scenario - why would he want the headaches of ruling, he's got the royal veto to maintain the family fortune and that's all that really matters.

"My wife and I (both Americans, FTR) discussed this weekend the idea that maybe it would be a good thing if Chuck were to say "Fuck this shit, I'm the king, I'm gonna be the fucking king" and rescind your new prime minister's position, dissolve Parliament by royal edict, and turn your little island back into an absolute monarchy."

I hope you were both really drunk during this convo.

its not really that small of an island, ranks in the top ten biggest iirc

You can still indulge in silly speculation while sober, xyzzz. Ain't against the rules.

He's 40.

That's still 'young' in terms of the mean & possibly also median age of the UK populace, Tom D., and also in the eyes of the Tory-voting, Countryside Alliance supporting, on-shore wind vetoing, curtain-twitching types who are the only people the govt/MSM care about the opinion of these days.

btw ppl saying in his defense that charles is an environmentalist i assume its just some neoliberalfeudal bs but i havent looked into it

environmentalist in the organic-farming-and-maintainance-of-parks sense.

well parks are nice

his type environmentalism is like Attenborough's, all about eugenics and thinning out the population - "they breed like rats". He talks a lot about food waste while his servant ends up boiling 43 eggs if he decides on a whim to go on a 3 hour morning walk.

lol perfect

Did unperson divorce his curvy Colombian wife or did she just pick up his shitty sense of humour along with her citizenship application

How about a revolution instead

Sky News just challenged the public to overthrow the monarchy pic.twitter.com/QyAiceIDVk

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) September 12, 2022

xp

"You can still indulge in silly speculation while sober, xyzzz. Ain't against the rules."

Sounded like the kind of chat you'd be saying while drunk or brain dead.

Sounded like the kind of chat you'd be saying while drunk or brain dead.

...if you lacked an imagination, maybe! :-P

Where is the assumption that William might be better coming from?

William seems to more capable of following his grandmother's example of never saying or doing anything interesting in public ever, and therefore remaining a popular 'apolitical' figure. Some of the royal reportage in Private Eye painted him as quite a ruthless and effective operator behind the scenes, as opposed to Charles who dithers and equivocates, e.g. they credited William with making sure that Andrew was fully cast out into the wilderness when the Queen was more inclined to be forgiving.

the uk press have been sitting on stories about will's alleged infidelity for years now, so wills' ramrod compliance may be lubricated by a fear of being thrust onto tabloid front pages under straplines about his bedroom preferences

Yeah seems like a bit of a shoogly peg for the institution

sad to see royalty forced into a prostate position like that

A far cry from the previously dominant position.

i think he's just really anal about details

just a square peg in a round hole I guess

I confess that this american is (with some guilt) delighted with the lol opportunities presented by KCIII. Sorry, UK, really I am, but also good god the tragicomedy. . .

I mean we gave you Trump (also sorry about that), surely it was your turn.

tabloid features from the 80s make the best heads of state, trust us

lol i fucking told you

'Judging the right moment for a joke is always tricky...'

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter to receive my unseen cartoons: https://t.co/JNDhrYJMFH pic.twitter.com/AhAJmld9TB

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) September 12, 2022

that's the power you wield when you are the UK's richest sketcher of cock-noses

nashwan otm, William will be more palatable to the average subject (because he is more palatable to the papers, as evidence: the last decade of papers)

move fast! break things!

King Charles’s staff given redundancy notice during church service for Queen

Exclusive by ⁦@PippaCrerar⁩ and ⁦@ccdavies⁩ https://t.co/nAcSngcBAI

— Owen Gibson (@owen_g) September 13, 2022

psyched for some wild stories from disgruntled former employees

this man hates pens

How is this real? How is this public?! pic.twitter.com/dZlsNOVREI

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) September 13, 2022

He is going to machine gun the rest of the Royals

he has wanted this for 60+ years and already he hates it *so much*

*prepares the popcorn*

imagine taking the King to a fucking employment tribunal, you'd end up having to pay his legal fees and 10 years of your paltry wages back to him and then get birched for having the effrontery

maybe charles will take the monarchy to a tribunal for constructive dismissal

Lol, what a loser.

Wonder if support for the Monarchy will collapse, he clearly can't keep his mouth shut.

doesnt exactly have the common touch does he

His Majesty is not used to getting ink on his fingers, and it's ruined his entire bloody day.

You can see exactly why his mother stayed in post till her literal death, can’t you

Amazing, simply amazing.

his twitter handle is @realjonathanyeo, to fully raise the hellraiser curtain hire @fakejonathanyeo

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:punhfmpogezgazwz6vvt3pja/bafkreibxy3ztthqtalkz45drmyt2iu7fhnvp3zwvxd64vmwdakuwihkege@jpeg

thats right

move over pinhead here comes bangerhand

looooool really fits with the Vertigo style

https://i0.wp.com/the-avocado.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Screen-Shot-2021-02-10-at-1.54.24-PM.png?resize=720%2C450&ssl=1

I don't know why people get so aggressive over a painting - I like it. I may not like the guy on it much, but I like the portrait.

As for the portrait of the King, Yeo said on his website that the vivid colors of the glazes are “not only resonating with the royal heritage found in many historical portraits but also injecting a dynamic, contemporary jolt into the genre with its uniformly powerful hue — providing a modern contrast to more traditional depictions.”

"a dynamic, contemporary jolt into the genre.."

this fucking tool brings out my inner Brian Sewell, fwiw imo a daubed and overworked pseudo-painterly background behind a very unremarkable and follically flattering portrait maketh not what this hack says it maketh! Anyway this seems the correct thread to aggressively dislike a bad royal portrait by a pisspoor artist.

this is the thread where we declare our deathless love for bad art: on no! FITE! oh NO!!

I'm now a fan of the portrait

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/article/2024/may/15/jonathan-yeo-portrait-of-charles-iii-review-a-cringeworthy-bit-of-facile-flattery

https://i.imgur.com/UZFsYzz.png

I hate to say this, but Jonathan Jones of the Graun is almost completely otm - the review makes all the correct criticisms this piece of shite deserves, but then gives it a completely unearned one star rating.

the review loses me when it demands a more realistic portrayal of Charles, the difficult, complex man he is .. blah blah .. he's a facile, selfish man-child. I don't see much beyond that.

He hath risen pic.twitter.com/X48QFA9PLb

— 𝐋𝐨𝐰 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 (@PolyDepression) May 15, 2024

A psychedelic sea of lurid reds and a clunking monarch butterfly cannot save this superficially observed and carelessly executed bland banality

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/article/2024/may/15/jonathan-yeo-portrait-of-charles-iii-review-a-cringeworthy-bit-of-facile-flattery

Jonathan Jones is wrong again

the first thing it made me think of is the cover to Yoko Ono's 2001 album Blueprint for a Sunrise (which is a re-coloured version of a Hubert Vos portrait of the Chinese Empress Dowager Cixi)

https://i.scdn.co/image/ab67616d0000b27368d991d554862425c6882453

(with Ono's face superimposed on it, obv)

similarly carroty fingers too

the painting isnt good as art but its better than a lot of portraiture of important people at depicting a human face

i dont know much abt art but i meme what i meme

as a study of a semi-human form it would be fair to say Yeo is no Lucien Freud, but he get's the commission and he gets the cheque. It's getting hung in the Drapers' Hall (some centuries old bullshit City of London charity foundation) so at least it wont hanging next to anything I like.

Prince William has been named UK's third sexiest man of 2024. pic.twitter.com/uc0omq3bPG

— Buzzing Pop (@BuzzingPop) May 17, 2024

UK's third baldest man of 2024.

UK standards are at rock bottom, maybe some ppl feel like it's the closest worldly experience to shagging Princess Diana by proxy or something.

Any clues as to #1 & #2?

https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/79/1200x712/secondary/Jeremy-clarkson-5378326.jpg

https://i2-prod.examinerlive.co.uk/incoming/article16429556.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/0_Alan-Brazil-2.jpg

Thought the Clarkson was a joke post but no, he was the actual winner.

Was it a poll of Daily Mail readers or something?

wondering if these results should more properly described as a symptom or a cause of the UK's current state

I wouldn’t have pegged him as a third but I understand some feel differently

wills has been well and truly shafted here

Mock the UK all you want but William has a lot of reach around here

NV getting lucky again.

> Was it a poll of Daily Mail readers or something?

it has 'express.co.uk' in the image url

I wouldn’t have pegged him as a third but I understand some feel differently

oh, way to miss the joke huh

https://media2.giphy.com/media/cPCYjo3Jc1S8v2orAo/giphy.gif?cid=9b38fe919r0wa6eo8tu1ghca2mqnu1ibwsna4hz8ab1qt4wz&ep=v1_gifs_username&rid=giphy.gif

I saw one on Instagram where it was turned into the Loveless cover