I'm Only Happy When It's Gay // LGBTTQQIAAP+ // Fall 2021

I am permanent. I am queer. I am in town. I am here.

is that some rally I don' know about?

😂 ok good feedback. I'll get cracking. in the meantime, any good stories? new love? old flames? i might be ready for a pre spring fling tbh.

celebrated our 10th (!) anniversary by driving out to desert hot springs for the weekend. mineral water pools feel sooooo nice

Congratulations! We celebrated ours last year

damn y'all! bunch of happy clams over here. real question: what kind of swimsuit do you wear?

I go swimming so rarely that if I do wear anything, it's usually underwear. But also swimming is more complicated with a stoma, so...

I'm really concerned for all the trans and queer teens out there. Reading an article about Texas this morning made me weep.

Hello gays, I have been away from home for two weeks and I really miss my bf!

hi sweetie! are you facetiming? where are you?

UGH tabes <3 - Texas. more and more Republicans. gross. what was the article saying?

I have been away from home for two weeks and I really miss my bf!

― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, March 2, 2022 9:14 AM (five hours ago)

i hate when that happens!

last summer i started wearing speedos if i was somewhere gay, or just w/ my bf. or at the beach in p town i wore nothing

i have a cute pair of green and blue swim trunks that kinda look like athletic shorts. i have speedos that i probably don't fit into anymore (and that are kind of ugly anyway tbh)

I'm not sure why it's never occurred to me to wear speedos.

i have a deep, deep aversion

don those sound super cute

hardest thing about swimsuits is that they are always too long, even a 5" inseam looks too long on me bc i'm pretty short so i've been looking for 3". the longer "boardshorts" look comical on me

i think i'd look hella cute in a speedo tbh but would only wear it in the right place

my legs are too large to wear anything but trunks, i have a pair with roosters on them i bought in las vegas at the gay swimwear store. though they are mid thigh.

once when i was desperate for money i was *ahem* answering ads. and this guy really needed me to wear a speedo for him after we ate at the cheesecake factory. so i still have that.

my speedo is red, it felt a bit baywatch to me. i want to find a new color, but most speedos w/ designs on them are ugly. i'm thinking kelly green for this summer.

i think marcos would look hella cute in a speedo tbh as well

this guy really needed me to wear a speedo for him after we ate at the cheesecake factory

i love a specific fetish!

lol

Beefcake Factory

my bf and i have a running joke about the little factory where we ad-lib a construction foreman saying things like "ok boys, time to grease up your pistons, bend over and put your backs into it," etc.

I definitely don't fit into speedos anymore, the last pair I bought I weighed about 15 pounds less than I do now for a variety of reasons.

I should have said 'my speedos'

It's worth mentioning that I almost exclusively wear bikini briefs, tho. I hate any other type of underwear.

my kink of shame is that i bought a bunch of shorts and these weird little ball holsters from a lame gay-bro clothing company based in san diego called w00f clothing, and i still wear them to the gym. my cheeks are turning red just typing it haha.

I go home tomorrow and I'm excited to see my dude. It's been 24/7 with him for a while now bc pandemic. Physical distance has created imagined mental distance, I feel his absence.

I enjoy wearing speedos! I do not enjoy being naked in public. My speedos are black and from the Speedo/CDG collaboration.

i think marcos would look hella cute in a speedo tbh as well

― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Wednesday, March 2, 2022 3:01 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

<3 <3 <3

i dont even wanna talk about the underwear i wore for most of my twenties. like the cheapest square boxers from target lol. financial security and feeling more ***gay*** in my life now means i finally bought nicer underwear. i have these pale pink ck briefs on right now and i look good in them

My partner used to be a competitive swimmer and wears speedos, which I do not think I will ever be capabalenof doing

it took me a while to get there but whenever i was around a bunch of boys in speedos wearing a normal bathing suit i felt like a prude so i decided to switch over to the dark side... in mixed company (meaning a straight beach) i'd prob wear normal bathing suit. but as far as riis beach in new york, p town, fire island etc i like being among the horde of skimpy suits (or in p town, the horde of nudes). i believe alfred saw me wear a speedo when we were at the standard in miami beach but that's only bcuz my boyfriend's trunks got ruined so i let him wear mine thus leaving me w/ just a speedo

I lit a candle for you two at the Standard chapel.

i have a weird situation. so this guy, f, was friendly to me on ig and eventually came to a dj thing. he is close friends with my partner's work manager. he is also in an ltr. i had a friendly coffee date with f which turned into texting which got flirty, him initiating it. i asked if he was flirting, which seemed to make him anxious, but i told him it was welcome. i was communicating with my partner about it this whole time with the understanding that this sort of thing was fine (with no knowledge yet about f and his partner and where they are at), but he finally said he was uncomfortable because f is close with his manager at work. which is fine and very understandable and i'm supportive of that. so i've cooled off on texts and i'm sure f has picked up on it.

anyway, we had planned a couples dinner thing as friends. but now that feels awkward to follow up on.

i think i still want to be friends with f and i think that could still be possible but i'm unsure about where to go from here.

what do i communicate to f here? my partner doesn't want me to say to him that i stopped flirting because of the work manager, to leave him out of it. which, ok, i guess? this is strangely bewildering and i've taken a few days to try and think it over but could use some perspective.

anyway, we had planned a couples dinner thing as friends. but now that feels awkward to follow up on

to be clear, we had planned it, then they had to cancel, nothing rescheduled yet

I think maybe reschedule the couples dinner if possible and then try to thread the needle of friendly-but-not-flirty there so you're showing interest in spending time together but not interest in *wink wink, nudge nudge*?

Or, is there an avenue via DJing in which you could re-engage neutrally? I can't gauge from the story if he's a music nerd or not; if he is, maybe you can come up with some crate-digging type of question?

It's very odd trying to think of strategies to engage with someone that communicate that you are NOT flirting with them

haha right? I think my well-worn instinct is just to disengage altogether, part of me wants to try something different this time but i feel like it's going there anyway.

i think the issue with the couples dinner is that my partner feels like he's dragging his feet now but i need to check in with him about it. that's a good idea if we're both into it i think.

an activity that is low stakes and neutral is a good idea but i don't think he's really a big music guy. if something comes to mind i'll propose it though.

hi gay

stevie are you Posting Again???

lol I doubt it but I'm at least posting today

it's been a weird past several months for me but I think 2022 is being v good to me so far. my ex and I broke up last feb but have stayed close friends and prominent forces in each others lives, and then he started seeing someone in early dec which unleashed a whole slew of emotions, some anticipated and some not, and I realized that he was moving on and that I needed to move on too and that I was actually really lonely? like the whole year I had little desire to put any energy into like dating or hooking up but then it all hit at once and I was super depressed for like a month and a half, but I think it's p much gone now.

I went up to visit him in early jan (which we'd planned before he met his new boo) and it was... not the worst it could have been, but not really great either. but while I was there I met up with an internet pal of several years who I chatted with semi-regularly but had never met irl, we'd always been friendly but never actually flirty, and we uhhh reaaally hit it off wink wink nudge nudge (we fucked), there was like a really exciting chemistry and we've kept in touch and chatted almost daily and I'm actually going back to boston this weekend to stay w him for a few days and see this play he's in. I don't think I have the capacity for another like committed long distance thing but I really like whatever it is we're doing and hope we can continue it in its current state (though we will invariable have to have A Talk at some point, likely this weekend, to just to make sure we are on the same page so no one gets hurt)

I've also been going out more which has been really invigorating, I wound making out w 2 diff brand-new guys at the leather bar a few weeks ago (which is unheard of for me???) and one of them seems to be becoming/has become a new fwb, which is really really nice. we traded numbers and then got drinks a few days later (which turned into a hookup > sleepover > him making me breakfast), and then I invited him over for dinner last night. in addition to being an excellent fuck he's also like really affectionate and cuddly and intimate but w/o being like, emotionally clingy, which is honestly so perfect and wonderful and I feel like I've really lucked out. it's been several years since I've had any sort of reliable fwb/fuck buddy type situation, and I've been lamenting it recently so the timing is wonderful (I think I had sex with 1 person in all of 2021). we are planning a date to a brand-new massive h mart in the burbs and I could not be more thrilled.

also I've become better friends w this long-time acquaintance over the past 6-8 months or so after we went to honcho campout together, and him + me + a friend of his have become this little posse and we have been going to raves together, which is really fun and also kind of hilarious that I am entering a "rave phase" in my mid-30s. but it's nice to have a new group of friends outside of my normal friend circle who's down to do fun stuff. I also got invited to a week-long house share on fire island w them and said yes and it is SO weird and I have already had a whole existential crisis abt it but it will be such a new experience for me and I'm really looking forward to it

also also I'm going to LA for 10 days in april where I will see donna rouge, quincie, felicity redewll, and maybe make some new friends idk??? life is being kind to me and it's given me a little boost of confidence and I am really savoring it

stevie!

i'm going to LA next week, what are gay things to do?

marcos, how you holding up?

nice to hear all that stevie and that you're thriving and trying new things and people after the split.

marcos go to "ginger rogers" area of will rogers state beach in la for some sightseeing if you wish!

the l.a. thread peeps were great with recommendations for a trip we didn't end up taking last december.

err in santa monica not la

marcos go to "ginger rogers" area of will rogers state beach in la for some sightseeing if you wish!

yes this is the kind of thing i am looking for thank you!

although i feel like i will need a speedo

we order you to file a full report

stevie if this trip is anything like your last one then I am certain you will make tons of pals!

hi marcos! if yr into the gay bar scene, akbar and the eagle are in silver lake. weho has lots of bars as well but i don’t really go to any of them (for distance reasons mostly). if you were coming in two weeks I’d say come to the gay happy hour I’m DJing in highland park. and yes to ginger rogers too for fun and sun and speedos!

marcos you should go to the Museum of Jurassic Technology

Stevie, I have a number of friends who went through a mid-30s rave period. I think I just partied so hard from 18-32 that I don't have the stamina any more-- I don't even get to midnight on New Years Eve, tbh.

Also,.hi!