the 2021 internet dude thing

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i just want to say, i post a lot on ilx, i've been here a long time, i go through waves and valleys and all other sorts of mixed metaphors. "i leave it out there on the field", whatever. the last few years have been really hard. but i'm doing ok. i know i'm up in the middle of the night ranting about deepfake deepnudes, and that can seem alarming. but i'm fine.

the internet dude thing. i'm talking about crypto, deepfakes, mens right movement, joe rogan, the man show. that zone. at 5:22 am, i see them as this massive thing. this horrible big thing that smells like bad cologne and grows larger every month, a headache that keeps going beyond the forehead.

in some ways it closely resembles modern cringe humor (nathan for you, tim heidecker, everyone who is imitating them). they're adjacent, almost - the unspoken subject of both cringe and internet dudes is the same thing, which is an expectation of how one should act in life. the chad or the alpha or whatever. they both play against that. the internet dude secretly worships the alpha, which is why they project that in spades at all opportunities. the cringe uses it as a foil to say something critical about the expectation.

what is my point. i'm sorry. my point is: just, where are we with this? am i seeing this as a thing apart from me, or am i somehow a part of this? i don't want to be. why do i keep running across this, everywhere? why is joe rogan a superstar who makes $100M? why do things resemble the hunger games so frequently?

am i just getting older? i'm 38. most of you are older. come on, i know the stats, i live here. is this just what it's like? you start to see the world play out in a certain way that previously seemed like the worst possible version, and then you yell at it a bit while also exploring your own artistic instincts and focusing on those that are close to you?

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:29 (five days ago) link

cool thing about ilx - you can't edit your posts

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:30 (five days ago) link

and that is KEY

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:30 (five days ago) link

i respectfully remind myself and all other assigned at birth males to question themselves and our roles and what we have been taught and in many ways forced into

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:32 (five days ago) link

also, i do want to mention that the antichrist will rise in 2021

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:33 (five days ago) link

i am sorry that sometimes i "perform". i am "performing". this is part of the problem, you see.

but i do think of it as "one big thing". one thing smears into another, one activity into another, in a good way! posting is like painting. a dab here, a dab there, a big smoosh there, a MASSIVE MISTAKE THERE, waiting a few days, cleaning it up

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:36 (five days ago) link

and as in real life, you can't exactly "edit it" or undo it, but you can very much paint over it, or just keep adding small dabs everywhere until it's different, or at least it's later. painting is a time-based medium that eventually lands on a pause. it's only really alive while it's still wet.

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:38 (five days ago) link

jabs are similar, in boxing. hoos would have chimed in here, back in the day, maybe. but jabs are similar, in boxing. they serve a similar purpose to the painting dab, or the regular post on ilx. they wear you out a little. they're a way to pass the time and drain the meter a bit. all else equal, take a better conditioned 2021 internet dude (full circle) and put them against a poor conditioned 2021 dude, and who will win. it's all about conditioning. take care of your face, take care of your body, run, eat well, live long, climb to the top of the mountain. jab. jab. jab, it's exhausting after a while, that's the point. then the gut punch, then the knockout blow. but it was actually all those jabs that wear them down, first. dudes.

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:41 (five days ago) link

I know these guys are around, but they make a disproportionately large noise on the internet, I'm pretty sure of that.

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:42 (five days ago) link

posting as performance. but it is a performance. i wanted to say this earlier, in a different place. it's related to internet dudes, i'm not even kidding.

as a kid, everyone gets picked on and adapts. it happens at some level. it might happen at the family level, through older siblings. it might be the parents picking on the kids. or at school. failing all that, the kid will pick on themselves. pick themselves apart.

i've always performed. i've always been the kid who wanted to be funny. i think about what i say and try to make it sound more interesting than it really is. i like to exaggerate. i like to be weird. i don't want to be normal. the normal people picked on me, all of them. the ones that didn't just watched and didn't do anything to stop it. i performed to defend myself, possibly. but it was also just what i was doing. even at the worst of their bullying, i'd hate myself at night but still think "i'm different". it wasn't a positive thing. i would pray to god to make me not different. the worst prayer, and like all prayers, irrelevant. i'm glad there was no god that listened to that one. but see -- full circle, ok -- is this not exactly like being a 2021 internet dude? i'm different, not like those. me, not them. my thoughts, unique, right? worth elevating? worth trying for? or not worth trying for?

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:49 (five days ago) link

it makes me think that the ultimate truth is just to stfo

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:50 (five days ago) link

unsupportable claim, but i'll make it anyway: by definition, normal people don't stand up for you.

"the normal people picked on me, all of them. the ones that didn't just watched and didn't do anything to stop it."

the few that stood up for me and were my friends were not normal

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 10:56 (five days ago) link

Seeing things as "one big thing" is imo part of the problem as an approach individuals take to try to make sense of what is a fairly overwhelming experience at times

Id advise that if you might be really struggling with that aspect to see if easing up on it a bit might create space for things to flow without having to connect quite so tightly

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, 13 September 2021 11:05 (five days ago) link

but wait, the dude thing

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 11:07 (five days ago) link

the "it's all one thing" thing is just one thing, not the one thing

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 11:08 (five days ago) link

Part of the advantage of "its not all one thing" approach is that i dont rly need to talk about the other thing tho

See its better already

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, 13 September 2021 11:25 (five days ago) link

is this just what it's like? you start to see the world play out in a certain way that previously seemed like the worst possible version, and then you yell at it a bit while also exploring your own artistic instincts and focusing on those that are close to you?

I don't like to admit how much this resonates with me, but at least 54 I have a lot of "the hyperbolic contempt you expressed for the world as a reflexive, defense posture when you were 14 now feels if not wholly justifiable, gettin there" vibes on a daily basis & a lot of this is the internet dude thing yes. but that's hyperfocus, which a specifically online disease -- darraghmac is correct above. however the solutions to these specific problems ("go outside! read a book!") will make you cringe so hard when you say them to yourself that you get whiplash from it

J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Monday, 13 September 2021 11:38 (five days ago) link

I have only a glancing familiarity with whatever the 2021 internet dude thing is because, defensible or no, I've largely retreated from living in the present day in any meaningful way. Was a time only a handful of years ago when I was still regularly reading NYT and WaPo and FT and the Economist and etc. and etc. and engaging with (non-ILX) online communities and trying to figure out the world from a variety of angles and then the world just got too gross for me to handle. And now I really can't cope with the full-force inundation of Media and Content like at all. I peek through the cracks in my fingers now and again just to get a sense of how close the freely-hurtling boxcar is to the cliff's edge. So like 'being online' for me at this point basically entails visiting this joint and a pleasant and supportive little subset of people I've found on Letterboxd who watch all of the same dumb semi-obscure garbage that I watch. Last month I watched something like fifty horror movies from 1988. It was great! This weekend I watched that new Michael B. Jordan Tom Clancy thing. It was kinda skin crawling in its COME AT ME BRO-ness. That isn't me. I don't know how redolent it is of the larger culture but I know it very much isn't me. I've shifted almost wholesale from reading the news to reading history, in an effort to get perspective on how we got where we are now. Every point in the past sucked in its own special way but there's enough remove in reading about past suckiness that it doesn't give me bleeding ulcers.

I don't know if that even comes within spitting distance of addressing the larger question. Based upon your presence here, I don't think you're a part of this, fwiw. I strive to not be a part of it. Admitting that you don't know everything and that you could be wrong about anything and always trying to be a better version of yourself and being responsive to the needs of people who aren't 2021 internet bros does a lot of the heavy lifting in that regard imo.

I'm still waking up. Forgive me.

Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Monday, 13 September 2021 12:16 (five days ago) link

however the solutions to these specific problems ("go outside! read a book!") will make you cringe so hard when you say them to yourself that you get whiplash from it

― J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Monday, 13 September 2021 11:38 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yes this is unfortunately the hard truth alright

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, 13 September 2021 13:01 (five days ago) link

"you wont run out of things to be angry about on the internet, find the cutoff point that leaves you enough to live on" is maybe the best short version i can come up with today on short notice- it will be open to criticism

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, 13 September 2021 13:05 (five days ago) link

The human brain is not fit to contend with the weight and the breadth of the internet, is the thing I keep coming around to. It's like having a staring contest with the sun. You're gonna lose.

Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Monday, 13 September 2021 13:11 (five days ago) link

The human brain is not fit to contend with the weight and the breadth of the internet

new board description.

peace, man, Monday, 13 September 2021 13:23 (five days ago) link

:)

i think you're all otm, fwiw. and i think JCLC is correct that it's so hard to do what you know is right (outside), too. knowing the right thing to do and carrying it out are very different things. i do have a camping/zine-making trip planned this weekend, though. "I Heard it on the River"

hmm.

i had this tab open, was about to type something conciliatory and just let the thread go back to the server. then, case in point, i saw the word "outbreak", i saw how people are, and i just hate everything again. can't wait to go fucking camping

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 16:01 (five days ago) link

I hope to hear nothing but cicadas on the river, so that instead of my zine being full text and illustrations of white racists who call me the f-word from the slow-motion canoes passing by, the text will be like "whiiir..whiirr....whiiir.r....whiirrr..WHIIRRR..WHIRRRR.WERR!" etc - however a cicada noise is put to paper

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 16:02 (five days ago) link

locusts

certified juice therapist (harbl), Monday, 13 September 2021 16:05 (five days ago) link

We are staying with my gf's parents atm because of plumbing issues at our place, and I've spent a lot of quiet time sitting in an actual back yard just like watching squirrels and chipmunks and various insects do their thing and it has been low-key glorious.

Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Monday, 13 September 2021 16:10 (five days ago) link

dudes rock

the 45-year-old gaz coomber (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 13 September 2021 16:22 (five days ago) link

is dude related to penis?

sarahell, Monday, 13 September 2021 17:19 (five days ago) link

epidudymis

Richard Marxist (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 13 September 2021 17:50 (five days ago) link

At the beginning of the summer, I bought three firearms — not one or two, but all three at once, Sig Sauer P226, Barrett REC 7, Colt AR-15. That night, I took them into our suburban backyard, and there in the dark, I looked in at my father. From outside, I looked in. I watched this unremarkable man, through the window at night, in the flicker of his news shows — my eyes for once so sharp I could read the chyrons doubled in his glasses. I pointed the AR-15 at him. I stood in the grass of our backyard in this bland nowhere suburb and held him in my sights. And then I put the long gun down on a tarp I’d laid out, and took all of my clothes off, folded them, and stood naked in the backyard in the moonlight, and repeated the action: AR-15, REC 7, P226, sighting my father through the weapons, down the barrels, and past that big double pane of glass.

Back inside, I ran a towel, a clean towel, across my balls, even before the shower, and I sniffed, and there was a deeply masculine musk, and I understood that I was changing, and so were my balls, my great white balls, and everything they were emitting, the scents, the energies, in all directions. I was growing into something new, some new masculinity, and I jerked off three times in the shower, with shampoo, and it didn’t burn.

😎

New readers, hello.

Nature's promise vs. Simple truth (bernard snowy), Monday, 13 September 2021 22:06 (five days ago) link

i knew where that was going the second the clean towel was mentioned

"HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Monday, 13 September 2021 22:07 (five days ago) link

lol

ciderpress, Monday, 13 September 2021 22:11 (five days ago) link

THE SURVIVORS
IT STARTED WITH the Banana Bunch Challenge. Everyone knows this part, but the way Austin felt about it was part of all the stuff that happened after. Because we were heroes and no one seemed to get that or they just thought it was a joke and that meant we had to try harder to show them. First, the Banana Bunch Challenge is not a gay thing. I mean, I’m gay and Austin’s either bi or straight or whatever, but it’s just something people said online, how it was some sort of gay meme. But it’s not about that. It’s just a thing you do where you take a bunch of bananas and he holds the bunch in his teeth and maneuvers one into your mouth — and I’d sprayed like eighty sprays of Cepacol and rubbed in some Vaseline — and the banana goes down your throat and on the way back up the razor blades you’re holding between your back teeth rip the peel off and he eats that banana while keeping hold of the rest of the bunch with the other side of his mouth, and you get in a rhythm where you’re sort of eating these bananas back and forth between you, stripping the peels off as they come out of your throat and him chewing and swallowing the banana inside and the point is to try to do as big a bunch as you can before one of you pukes. Eight was the world record, but that was Korea. US is five not counting the obviously doctored ones. Our channel was really good and Austin and I had had some great videos but the most views we’d had was 315 and this was something we could do that wasn’t stupid like the Bleach Butt Challenge and we had a real shot at getting to a new level on the steps outside the school’s side door only three bananas in and I was moving him up a few steps to get the right angle on him with the sun over the roof of the school and the blood from my mouth leaking-slash-spurting onto his chin and I was ready for the next banana but then he gags and doubles over and starts to spew banana everywhere and there’s a noise like blaw pkshhh, and it’s the shooter. The camera’s shaky now in the footage, but Austin’s puking up a banana slurry and I don’t think he even sees what’s going on, but there’s this guy in body armor walking toward us with a rifle pointed moving in this creepy slow way so it’s like time is slowing down, and I know he’s going to shoot me, and that I’m going to die. But that’s not what happened, as you know.

Nature's promise vs. Simple truth (bernard snowy), Monday, 13 September 2021 22:14 (five days ago) link

Where’d you get my diary

Derek and Clive Get the Horn Street (Boring, Maryland), Monday, 13 September 2021 22:20 (five days ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4v8rLEI4Pg

Andy the Grasshopper, Monday, 13 September 2021 22:25 (five days ago) link

Those clips should ideally begin "We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold...."

Richard Marxist (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 13 September 2021 22:31 (five days ago) link

Hahaha

Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 13 September 2021 23:07 (five days ago) link


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