A Big Bowl of Polish Candy

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http://i.imgur.com/iF1dxDb.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/9QaSTAx.jpg
Biting into this ivory button reveals a quarter-inch thick waxy shell surrounding a grainy lump of citrusy sugar paste. It tastes a bit better than it sounds but not by much. This may be past its sell by date.
3/10, probably worth avoiding.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:39 (two years ago) link

Uh, dude, not sure if you noticed this, but that writing does not appear to be Polish

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:41 (two years ago) link

this has been gone over multiple times including the OP

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:42 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/2OqarkM.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/66U1tKc.jpg
Chocolate coating over a generous dollop of macaroon-style shredded coconut with a core of the dreaded "bird's milk" marshmallow. Surprisingly that dubious treat in the center didn't do much to dissuade my enjoyment and only served to amplify the sugary flavor. Coconut covers a host of sins.
6/10; if you think Mounds aren't sweet enough, this is your candy

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:43 (two years ago) link

Now I have A Big Bowl of Polish Candy. That's probably not right. Much of it is not Polish, it hails from Moldova or Spain or other places whose name doesn't appear on the label. But for the sake of this exercise, I'm going to consider it A Big Bowl of Polish Candy.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:44 (two years ago) link

xp - lol goddamnit, I don't read anymore!
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, July 13, 2021

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:45 (two years ago) link

some of that non-Polish for the first one:

ліщина lishchyna = hazel
цукерки tsukerki = sweets

tean mean poleand cheaseang theas means hamseak feasts (breastcrawl), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:45 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/l7aCwUv.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/YCyszYJ.jpg
Well, I knew before I bit it what I was getting into: chocolate coated "bird's milk" marshmallow in strawberry and vanilla flavors, which is not unlike gnawing on a lump of sweet congealed pork fat.
1/10, this marshmallow stuff is very much for the birds.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:48 (two years ago) link

oh lol, i did the hazelnut one already. Same score too!

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:49 (two years ago) link

All the ones I think look good you hate :(

Carlos Santana & Mahavishnu Rob Thomas (PBKR), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:50 (two years ago) link

Though I guess on some level they all look good to me.

Carlos Santana & Mahavishnu Rob Thomas (PBKR), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:50 (two years ago) link

🖼
🖼
Biting into this ivory button reveals a quarter-inch thick waxy shell surrounding a grainy lump of citrusy sugar paste. It tastes a bit better than it sounds but not by much. This may be past its sell by date.
3/10, probably worth avoiding.

мечта mechta: sweet dream or beautiful nightmare?

tean mean poleand cheaseang theas means hamseak feasts (breastcrawl), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:54 (two years ago) link

fun thread! forks, what's a 10/10 candy iyo? I'm curious what your base of comparison is

rob, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 18:56 (two years ago) link

10/10 over the counter chocolate candy for me might be skor, three musketeers, mounds? It's not great candy but it consistently hits the spot and that's more the scale I'm grading on, not gourmet chocolate.

I really do think a lot of these are stale as fuck, so bear that in mind and bump up the score accordingly if you find them on sale fresh in the wild! Would love this to be the rolling "i tried unfamiliar candy" picture thread for comparison scoring.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 19:06 (two years ago) link

(every day i do this, i get a slight stomach ache... even though I'm only eating half the candy at this point!)

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 19:07 (two years ago) link

second showing for Леди Ночь/Lady Night, second 1/10

let’s declare a marshmallow moratorium

tean mean poleand cheaseang theas means hamseak feasts (breastcrawl), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 19:08 (two years ago) link

I would support that!

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 19:09 (two years ago) link

Look, I really don't know what your point is, and I'm not going to bother to "read" your "replies," but I know the Cyrillic alphabet when I see it.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 19:35 (two years ago) link

ЛОЛ

rob, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 19:41 (two years ago) link

O'ryllic?

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 19:42 (two years ago) link

Look, I really don't know what your point is, and I'm not going to bother to "read" your "replies," but I know the Cyrillic alphabet when I see it.

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, July 28, 2021 3:35 PM (twenty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Is this a serious post?

I can't tell anymore around here.

Carlos Santana & Mahavishnu Rob Thomas (PBKR), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:04 (two years ago) link

skor, three musketeers, mounds

is this a serious post?!

what over the counter US mass-produced chocolate candy is your 10/10?
i would add reese's to that list

NB: it's a steep grading curve for that stuff; i am not out here heavily stanning 3 musketeers! But it's what I buy if I get chocolate craving at a cvs.

I haven't had a 3 musketeers in years maybe decades, but Skor def punches above its weight iirc

rob, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:33 (two years ago) link

adding reese's makes it more relatable. feel like none of the other 3 will crack the top 3 as 10/10 standbys when steve harvey throws it to the board.

selection of mounds over almond joy and 3 musketeers over snickers does help us calibrate our levels, though

'select 3 items from A Big Bowl of Polish Candy' will be a new branch of psychoanalysis

I think there's a widesoread belief over here that American chocolate is weird and terrible.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:52 (two years ago) link

Well…

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:53 (two years ago) link

I'm wondering if these 'Polish' candies might be a little sweet for American tastebuds.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:54 (two years ago) link

If there's one thing your average American chocolate lacks, it certainly isn't sugar.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:55 (two years ago) link

these are all WAY sweeter than I'm used to!

anyways you're right in noting that i don't like peanuts or almonds in my candy as a general rule

If there's one thing your average Eastern European chocolate lacks, it certainly isn't sugar.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 20:58 (two years ago) link

I grew up in Scotland, where the concept of something being too sweet doesn't exist. I mean this stuff should probably be illegal on dental health grounds at least:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tablet_(confectionery)

btw pom:

Tablet is almost identical to Québécois sucre à la crème.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:02 (two years ago) link

I think there's a widesoread belief over here that American chocolate is weird and terrible.

― Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, July 28, 2021 4:52 PM (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Well…

― pomenitul, Wednesday, July 28, 2021 4:53 PM (four minutes ago)

definitely true at the level of a Hershey's bar, but you can, of course, get nice US-made chocolate

rob, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:02 (two years ago) link

I think Hershey's is US chocolate to people outside the US.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:06 (two years ago) link

I've never tasted it.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:06 (two years ago) link

you can, of course, get nice US-made chocolate

Oh yeah, you can nice US-made anything (or very nearly). I was thinking in terms of the typical, ubiquitous stuff.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:06 (two years ago) link

As for sucre à la crème, yeah, it's blindingly intense and I'm all for it – just not more than maybe twice a year? I'll definitely try Tablet when I get the chance.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:07 (two years ago) link

Anyway my Eastern European candy/chocolate challop which I'm allowed to state point blank is that 95% of them suck and are only worthwhile as exotic artifacts. The desserts are where it's at.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:08 (two years ago) link

absolutely, just want visitors to know it's okay to eat the fancy chocolate lol

isn't Hershey's not technically chocolate or something?

rob, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:09 (two years ago) link

As for sucre à la crème, yeah, it's blindingly intense and I'm all for it – just not more than maybe twice a year? I'll definitely try Tablet when I get the chance.

You'd have to go to Scotland to try it, no-one else is insane enough to make it and feed it to their children.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:10 (two years ago) link

Proper link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tablet_(confectionery)

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:12 (two years ago) link

I'll be on the lookout for it once I get there – it's a question of when not if.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:12 (two years ago) link

I've never had Tablet or sucre à la crème but the image in that wiki article looks a lot like burfi, which is the only Indian sweet I really like

rob, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:12 (two years ago) link

tablet sounds like the babyface candy stuff upthread

ILX struggles with Wikipedia links that feature closing parentheses, so you have to copy/paste it.

2xp

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:13 (two years ago) link


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