When fruit goes WRONG

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Which do you consider the worst of the 'bad fruit' experiences? You might argue that it's a fluffy apple, a squashed grape, or a mouldering satsuma but you'd be wrong: I just had a banana that wasn't fully ripened and dear god it was a disgrace - like eating waxy phlegm.

Poll Results

Banana 6
Apple 5
Satsuma 3
Orange 2
Fig 1
Grapefruit 1
Melon 1
Watermelon 1
Blackberry 1
Kumquat 1
Other 1
Raspberry 0
Pear 0
Pomegranate 0
Grape 0
Lemon 0
Pineapple 0
Strawberry 0
Plum 0

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Thursday, 1 April 2021 18:49 (two weeks ago) link

Other - blueberry, because they are small enough to eat by the handful, but doing so risks missing the moldy one until it's ruined your whole snack.

peace, man, Thursday, 1 April 2021 19:09 (two weeks ago) link

can't abide a manky banana

Call of Scampi: Slack Nephrops (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 April 2021 19:26 (two weeks ago) link

overripe bananas are DISGUSTING

i like them in banana cake but god, handling them, even when frozen makes me want to ralph

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 1 April 2021 19:34 (two weeks ago) link


visiting, Thursday, 1 April 2021 19:36 (two weeks ago) link

and yeah, can't stand overripe bananas

visiting, Thursday, 1 April 2021 19:36 (two weeks ago) link

Blueberry is a good shout - particularly the overly-earthy one that ruins the batch.

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Thursday, 1 April 2021 19:40 (two weeks ago) link

I have so many overripe banans frozen, for the banana cake I'll never make.

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Thursday, 1 April 2021 19:42 (two weeks ago) link

They're also good in smoothies

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Thursday, 1 April 2021 19:49 (two weeks ago) link

mealy apples are the worst because they're relatively common and hard to identify until it's too late

ciderpress, Thursday, 1 April 2021 22:35 (two weeks ago) link

Blueberry is the most reliable of fruits, in my experience. You know where you are with a blueberry. I'll take your word for it that on the rare occasions one is bad, it's a terrible experience.

I feel like actually mouldy is a separate question. I mean, everything is vile when it's mouldy.

But some fruits, like the orange, vary wildly and you can't tell at least till you've unpeeled it. Others, like a watery blackberry or an unripe pear, reveal their obnoxiousness only on first bite. Plums are VERY hit and miss. Bananas are pretty safe, I think, which makes the rare.

I think I'm going to vote satsuma.

Alba, Thursday, 1 April 2021 23:53 (two weeks ago) link

Didn't finish my banana sentence. ", which makes the rare cardboardy one all the more disappointing"

Alba, Thursday, 1 April 2021 23:54 (two weeks ago) link

Slightly underripe bananas are far better than full yellow ones. After they lose that weird mouth feel thing, but before they get sugary. A soft grape is very sad.

Kim, Thursday, 1 April 2021 23:59 (two weeks ago) link

there’s something about a ripe banana, when the outside of the flesh gets sort of powdery/fluffy ughhhi hate it

slightly underripe is the only acceptable banana

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 2 April 2021 00:01 (two weeks ago) link

Blueberries are really two different fruits imo; wild blueberries are tart and amazing, if occasionally wormy. Corporate blueberries are bland and sometimes moldy.

Lily Dale, Friday, 2 April 2021 00:50 (two weeks ago) link

Oranges and other citrus are the most infuriating to me. It took moving to CA and being able to sample them at farmers' markets to get me over my refusal to purchase citrus in order to avoid disappointment.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 2 April 2021 00:54 (two weeks ago) link

What is the canonical sound in your head for a brown banana oozing out of its banana wound into a bowl?
Mine is GLORP

Philip Nunez, Friday, 2 April 2021 17:46 (two weeks ago) link

I was eating a grapefruit last month and thought it tasted odd, my wife said "don't eat that, it's green" (should mention here I can't see colours) and then I was a bit ill for a day or so. so that.

Bastard Lakes (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 2 April 2021 17:55 (two weeks ago) link

Years of experience with bananas is largely how I trained my colorblind-self to differentiate between light green and yellow

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2021 20:39 (two weeks ago) link

I had a short spell working at a fruit smoothie stand and it amazes me how reluctant people would be to use the part of an otherwise fine banana that's a little black. There are far worse things we put in our mouths!

boxedjoy, Friday, 2 April 2021 20:44 (two weeks ago) link

dry satsuma is the most disappointing for me so I voted that

I like signing up to dead sites (sleeve), Friday, 2 April 2021 20:53 (two weeks ago) link

Underripe pineapple vs overripe plum for me.

Motoroller Scampotron (WmC), Friday, 2 April 2021 21:23 (two weeks ago) link

unripe hachiya persimmon is very rough going ime. don't know if it's extreme alkalinity of the fruit that reacts with acidic saliva or what, but it's hard to even wash whatever was produced off your tongue

scampos sacra fames (outdoor_miner), Friday, 2 April 2021 22:37 (two weeks ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Thursday, 8 April 2021 00:01 (one week ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Friday, 9 April 2021 00:01 (one week ago) link

This result is bananas

Alba, Friday, 9 April 2021 00:13 (one week ago) link

How hard is it to avoid an underripe banana? Not the least bit hard compared to evaluating citrus!

come on ppl

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 9 April 2021 01:41 (one week ago) link

overripe is the problem w bananas

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 April 2021 01:48 (one week ago) link

which is also easily diagnosable before you put banana in mouth! or even unpeel it!

come on ppl

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 9 April 2021 01:49 (one week ago) link

is yr mum a banana or something

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 April 2021 01:53 (one week ago) link

srsly do I need to offer a zoom class on how to NOT eat banana that is not the color u like

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 9 April 2021 02:08 (one week ago) link

i am sorry citrus evaluation is hard for you, i really am

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 April 2021 02:32 (one week ago) link

Sometimes underripe bananas pose as perfectly ripe bananas though

Lily Dale, Friday, 9 April 2021 02:37 (one week ago) link

you look for the green, don't see any, get tricked into taking a bite, and then your mouth dries up

Lily Dale, Friday, 9 April 2021 02:38 (one week ago) link

This never happens to me. Even on the rare occasions where there’s no green on the skin, I’ve always been able to tell by the first pull on it. But I confess my range of tolerance on bananas is VERY wide.

Alba, Friday, 9 April 2021 02:41 (one week ago) link

even when the banana has a couple of colonies of fruit flies living on it - it's much easier to mash it up for a very satisfactory sandwich imo

calzino, Friday, 9 April 2021 02:53 (one week ago) link

A fair result, all told. For me it's to do with the unbridgeable chasm between a good banana and a bad banana: the former is the very best fruit experience and the disappointment when one experiences a bad one, and the knowledge of what one has missed out on is so great that one's whole day can be ruined.

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Friday, 9 April 2021 18:47 (one week ago) link

The chasm between a good banana cream pie and a bad banana cream pie is also vast and unbridgeable, but I guess that is true of all varieties of pie.

Lily Dale, Friday, 9 April 2021 20:16 (one week ago) link

dry mealy peaches are super disappointing

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 9 April 2021 20:20 (one week ago) link

Actually now that I think about it the obvious answer is avocado.

Lily Dale, Friday, 9 April 2021 20:37 (one week ago) link

Out-of-season peaches from Chile or wherever are pathetic. They even smell bad, like long-abandoned laundry.

Josefa, Friday, 9 April 2021 20:38 (one week ago) link

Oh god yeah. Where were peaches, nectarines and APRICOTS in this poll. My retrospective write-in vote

Alba, Friday, 9 April 2021 21:25 (one week ago) link

nectarines for sure

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 April 2021 02:23 (one week ago) link

Would have voted pears: underripe = eating a rock, overripe = somehow simultaneously mushy and dry, grainy, acrid. And the window between the two is vanishingly small.

Computers I can live with, I even dried them in the oven (ledge), Saturday, 10 April 2021 07:42 (one week ago) link


Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Saturday, 10 April 2021 09:19 (one week ago) link


Alba, Saturday, 10 April 2021 11:15 (one week ago) link

Xp oh no busted.

Computers I can live with, I even dried them in the oven (ledge), Saturday, 10 April 2021 11:16 (one week ago) link

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