someone said gabriel byrne and ewan mcgregor
each was nonsense
but we're listening
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:31 (one year ago) link
actor must have had elements of a noteworthy movie career so kyle secor, for instance, aint it
keanu has been too well cast to qualify
fuck you, thats why, these are my rules and if you dont like em -----> door
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:32 (one year ago) link
career must have approached orlando bloom and daniel radcliffe level, or arguably so
Nick moran ain't it
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:34 (one year ago) link
musicians, writers cameoing aint it
and terrible 'actors' with good presence dont qualify, harrison ford most certainly aint it
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:35 (one year ago) link
worst performance I've seen from a good actor could be Michael Caine in Blue Ice
― Bastard Lakes (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:38 (one year ago) link
Oof different poll but def worth noting
But the rules continue:
It will take a hardy prosecution to convince that a primarily action/comedy star merits consideration
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:40 (one year ago) link
First actor offered up by the threadstarter, meself:
john malkovich
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:42 (one year ago) link
A man that passes the not-novelty-actual-actor test, certainly passes the fame/fortune career out of it test, has overenunciated and snoozed his way through every fucking role ive ever seen him in, apart from now and then being testy in order to show his range
His best role was as a john malkovich mask
utter shit
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:44 (one year ago) link
Next: kevin spacey
another national treasure whose only apparent talent is to speak slowly
rubbish, fuck off
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:45 (one year ago) link
next: juliette lewis
possibly disqualified under the 'novelty' rule but we couldnt find out what else the drivelous wretch might purport to be
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:46 (one year ago) link
I think Emilia Clarke feels left out.
― chap, Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:35 (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
Certainly willing to hear the case for this one, yes
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:48 (one year ago) link
travolta
― ledge, Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:53 (one year ago) link
Why don’t you just tell us the 3
― Yelp for gyros (wins), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:54 (one year ago) link
Is Michael Caine a good actor tho
― Yelp for gyros (wins), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:55 (one year ago) link
gonna throw wahlberg out there (mark not donnie)
― tiwa-nty one savage (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:55 (one year ago) link
Going to make the case for Richard Madden.Fine in GoT, Robb was always a fucking nonentity in the books to me anyway. And it’s not like he sticks around or is the worst part in that series.But Bodyguard - fuck me, he started “fine” but got worse as the series went on. We were actually in pieces at some of his efforts in the last episode. Between the writing and his acting, never had a show turn to as shit as rapidly as that one went. I’ve actually been putting off watching Electric Dreams, even though it’s based on Philip K Dick short stories and has Cristobal Tapio de Veer on the soundtrack, because he’s in it.
― wangdalf the blight (gyac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:58 (one year ago) link
The two have been covered wins by all means dont read or post if youre only here to piss vinegar, good man
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:58 (one year ago) link
It's been dawning on me lately, and moreso with every subsequent performance I see, that Anthony Hopkins is someone who Americans have come to accept as a good actor because he has a British accent but who is in fact maybe a really bad actor.
― Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:00 (one year ago) link
Travolta feels like hes been ok/goodish in roles
Possibly roles that relied heavily on one or two innate attributes but yknow im making the case that he cant still therefore be in the bloom/radcliffe gravitational pull
i mean does that make sense
xp iv never heard of ruchard madden, sounds like theres a case tho
looked up a few lists since and i think tbf lena headey is worthy of mention which would make three prominemt GoT mentions already, now youd have to worry if all are acceptable noms (ive never watched it)
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:01 (one year ago) link
and look feel free all to tear apart my noms because i will yours
Wahlberg is very, very funny in several roles which imo means he cant rly be in the running, unless you can imagine bloom or radcliffe ever being so (no u liar u can't)
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:02 (one year ago) link
Feel like caine has been good-to-ok in lots of stuff, comedy to watery eyed drama as well as early arry palmer era where all e ad to do was stand up straight
Would offer children of men as example enough really?
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:03 (one year ago) link
hopkins oof
I mean yeah maybe, the welsh malkovich like, can see it
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:04 (one year ago) link
headey was probably too good in thrones to merit this thread, but sophie turner and kit harington fit like a glove
― tiwa-nty one savage (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:06 (one year ago) link
Im at a loss not having seen it
Sounds like the acting is bad tho
Did they really get bloom/radcliffe fame tho
Its arguable that each also only got the exposure of the one big franchise role then found out, of course (bloom had pirates too but i like to think that was 'found out' from syllable one)
Im open
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:08 (one year ago) link
Its more a thread to rail against noms and make your own strong case anyways
Darts, not chess
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:11 (one year ago) link
Travolta is unacceptable to be nominated in this, Saturday Night Fever and Pulp Fiction alone like. Hugely likeable in lots of other stuff although he’s been in a lot of shit as well.
― wangdalf the blight (gyac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:12 (one year ago) link
Laurence Olivier. Neil Diamond was miles better than him in "The Jazz Singer".
― Waterloo Subset (Tom D.), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:12 (one year ago) link
Im leery of getting into criticising models-turned-actors (even if they were never actually models, iygwim) but demi moore is particularly bad, right?
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:12 (one year ago) link
Sophie Turner noKit Harington yes, easily one of the worst breakout stars
― wangdalf the blight (gyac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:13 (one year ago) link
xp gyac getting the spirit of things here imo
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:13 (one year ago) link
Actual lordling kit harington which surely wins him no fuckin points neither
Basically we're looking for people who are to acting what bryan ferry is to singing
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:14 (one year ago) link
Yeah, what of it?
Kit however is married to actual aristocrat Rose Leslie who can act, so idk what his excuse is. Going to say Martin Freeman, have never enjoyed him in anything. Not one single thing.
― wangdalf the blight (gyac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:16 (one year ago) link
Freeman has no range but can do one thing quite-to-very well?
As i say the line is a blurry one but if youre to get him in a one liner wont do it i need you to pour your heart into it
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:18 (one year ago) link
If that thing is being a peevish middle-aged man, sure
― wangdalf the blight (gyac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:18 (one year ago) link
Jesus tho im haunted by hopkins now, shook
I mean i like him in loads of stuff but now im looking and thinking and tone youre stealing a living arent you you rascal
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:19 (one year ago) link
xp exhibit one, peevish middle aged hobbit
Was Warren Beatty bad? I like a number of movies he's in but almost in spite of his presence. He just kinda always seems like someone who was on set while the movie was being filmed and who was swapped in after the lead fell suddenly ill.
― Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:23 (one year ago) link
Like a grip who looks vaguely movie star-ish and is good at remembering lines.
my mind keeps returning to nicole kidman
― tiwa-nty one savage (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:24 (one year ago) link
Beatty i considered but i mean presence/looks
Because, if him then redford imo and were getting silly now kinda
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:25 (one year ago) link
Not to defend kidman as brilliant but i mean id list four or five at-least-goods and the bar is orlando bloom
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:26 (one year ago) link
yeah she's not as bad as orlando bloom, but i do think she's gotten a bit worse over time. she's incredibly wooden in both of the prestige hbo series she's done.
― tiwa-nty one savage (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:27 (one year ago) link
The bar
*Taps table*
Ok everybody can i pleae just, everyone?
Thanks
The bar is orlando bloom
Thanks everyone, appreciate your time
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:27 (one year ago) link
Xp is top of the lake 2 one of those? Thought she was lovely and arch in that, and i mean as a show it was horribly bad
If there isn't one already, I feel inclined to start a companion thread for actors who are unquestionably Not Good but who are really compelling to watch. Like I've just recently realized how much I like watching Stallone do his thing. He coasts entirely on charisma while demonstrating zero thespiary skills.
― Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:28 (one year ago) link
But Bryan Ferry does a spectacular imitation of a man who wants to sing!
― meticulously crafted, socially responsible, morally upsta (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 15:28 (one year ago) link
I agree he is worse than DanRad btw, but his irrelevance might count against him
― gyac, Tuesday, 10 May 2022 19:41 (one week ago) link
Lautner ain't done shit in years, his career pretty much got wrecked after his first post-Twilight flick with him as the centerpiece
― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 19:43 (one week ago) link
i think quinto qualifies, i know the thread rules! :(
sam neill is fucking awesome
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 20:05 (one week ago) link
BABIES SMELL
― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 20:08 (one week ago) link
"I'd include Tom Hiddlestone in that little batch."
lol I somehow mentally added a comma to that post at first, but then realised it's not the posters usual style!
talentless upper-class brit himbos like Hiddlestone will always get work, no matter how wooden and objectively bad they are at acting is the rules I'm afraid.
― calzino, Tuesday, 10 May 2022 20:09 (one week ago) link
ok fine maybe quinto is more of a tv actor who just happened to be cast as a major character into the reboot of a franchise than someone who has a successful film career but i say otherwise there is nothing there
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 20:13 (one week ago) link
He was fun the first series of Heroes!
― gyac, Tuesday, 10 May 2022 20:14 (one week ago) link
I… disagree. Prob my least favourite child performance
What, Bale in Empire? He's brilliant. His career has mostly been a decline from there.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 21:32 (one week ago) link
Nobody else rly yet
Hayden Christensen
To be fair, I have not seen Shattered Glass.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 21:36 (one week ago) link
I have and I disagree.
― gyac, Tuesday, 10 May 2022 21:50 (one week ago) link
Respectable choices: Bloom, Benedict Cumberbatch, Eddie Redmayne, i.e. a generation of UK twits whose accents fool people into believing they're useful.
Tell me about it, the country is infested with them.
― Doodles Diamond (Tom D.), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 22:03 (one week ago) link
As a British I fear that it is not for me to judge Cumberbatch's performance in 'August: Osage County' so will leave it to others, however I do find it more "I hate it" than "terrified at his lack of human presence"
― Portrait Of A Dissolvi Ng Drea M (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 22:30 (one week ago) link
He was amazing in Boyle's Frankenstein but that was a play and before anyone in the US knew him
― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 22:39 (one week ago) link
and he gave his best performance to date in The Power of the Dog playing the version of himself that rendered him unwatchable for a decade.
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 May 2022 22:40 (one week ago) link
Hiddleston is good as a posh twat in a couple of early Joanna Hogg films
not much of a stretch mind...
― Number None, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 10:58 (one week ago) link
the keira knightley gifs upthread are hilarious; gyac doing incredible work
― horseshoe, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 13:10 (one week ago) link
what about Kenneth Branagh?
― horseshoe, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 13:11 (one week ago) link
Off with his head.
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 13:42 (one week ago) link
I think KB can occasionally be enjoyably hammy, which is decidedly not the case with our bar actors. That said, I'm struggling to name an actual performance as evidence. Are Henry V or Much Ado still watchable? I liked them as an impressionable youth, but would heavily discount those feelings now
― rob, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 13:45 (one week ago) link
I don’t like KB at all but he is good in Henry V tbfttlc
― gyac, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 13:47 (one week ago) link
the problem is "the bar is Bloom" makes it very hard for me to come up with anyone!
I hate Branagh's Benedick, though. Thompson's Beatrice is a delight.
xp
― horseshoe, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 13:49 (one week ago) link
i have never seen Henry V
He mugs like hell as Benedick, not pleasasntly. His Henry V is still solid and gets at the king's ease with casual cruelty too.
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 13:50 (one week ago) link
yeah it’s not meant to be “never name anyone EVER” but like there’s a whole industry of mediocrities and actors who’ve maybe delivered one decent performance in their lives and every single one of them beats Bloom even if they were adlibbing an unmemorised script with diarrhoea. That, my friends, is the bar.
― gyac, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 13:52 (one week ago) link
lol gyac
ah yes that does ring a bell. iirc Michael Keaton's performance is also extremely damning evidence for deems' case against him upthread (probably Keanu too, but we've turned that horse into paste now)
― rob, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:01 (one week ago) link
I'm not mad about either Branagh's Henry V or Iago tbh.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:01 (one week ago) link
true but i love Keaton. i blame Branagh as a director for his performance. Keanu is kind of funny in it?
― horseshoe, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:02 (one week ago) link
wow i’m glad i wasn’t reading this thread when deems built a case against michael keaton
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:06 (one week ago) link
It's possible! I mostly remember him feeling totally out of place, but that same quality mostly worked in Dracula so you might be right
oh no, I should check that it even was deems
― rob, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:08 (one week ago) link
So, drinks tonight at Bar Bloom or Bar Benedick?
― Eggs Benedick (Eric H.), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:10 (one week ago) link
xpokay, "case" was off, more of a tentative suggestion that Old Lunch immediately quashed
still, it's hard to exaggerate how woefully awful Keaton is in Much Ado. I would advise actors who need to play a character that is spectacularly bad at acting to study that performance.
ftr, I have loved him in lots of other things, so I think horseshoe is correct that the direction is a big factor
― rob, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:12 (one week ago) link
Possibly wrong: George Wendt? John Ratzenberger is so good he sort of hides how wooden Wendt can be when he's not doing a traditional-Norm-zinger
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:22 (one week ago) link
I need to go do washing up/recycling but I leave you with my final For Your Considerations🖼🖼🖼🖼🖼
― gyac, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:46 (one week ago) link
Seemingly not, alas.https://i.gifer.com/embedded/download/P4KE.gifhttps://i.gifer.com/IJD5.gifhttps://data.whicdn.com/images/237926199/original.gifhttps://i.gifer.com/L4Pb.gifhow can you both under and overact in the same expressionhttps://media4.giphy.com/media/Of9u9vVSuT732/giphy-downsized.gif
― gyac, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 14:52 (one week ago) link
That's totally from the 'smell the fart' playbook!
― kinder, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 15:08 (one week ago) link
dogberry is an actor trap; agree it's prob branagh who didn't know any better than to push keaton into it. keanu puts a lot of that movie to shame imo: his readings are clunky but he is right there breathing inside the part. (it is the best part tho-- specifically because it insists on being in a diff play from everyone else-- so rob's "out of place" point applies.)
― difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 15:31 (one week ago) link
shit, the one who acts as if he hadn't been introduced to the rest of the cast is Washington.
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 15:35 (one week ago) link
I vaguely recall *none* of the Americans really working in that movie (maybe Robert Sean Leonard?), but I couldn't be mentioning Denzel itt
― rob, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 15:42 (one week ago) link
i don't know, Washington was so pretty back then; when Thompson's Beatrice says to his offer of marriage, "No, my lord, unless I might have another for working-days: your grace is too costly to wear every day" it really lands!
― horseshoe, Wednesday, 11 May 2022 15:44 (one week ago) link
those bloom gifs are all so incredible
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 15:51 (one week ago) link
he is acting as if he has a face and is aware that it is covered with skin
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 15:52 (one week ago) link
― horseshoe
agree!
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 15:52 (one week ago) link
This is still Kevin Spacey.
― we only steal from the greatest books (PBKR), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 16:58 (one week ago) link
i saw him in Moon for the Misbegotten once. he was so woefully miscast
― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 17:05 (one week ago) link
yet I'm told by several friends he was fantastic in The Iceman Cometh.
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 17:10 (one week ago) link
it's been a long time, so I forget whether we have considered Emilia Clarke yet?
― sarahell, Thursday, 12 May 2022 06:40 (one week ago) link
definitely a rising contender
― Number None, Thursday, 12 May 2022 07:11 (one week ago) link
The Iceman Cometh is eighty-six hours long and you need some kind of lifebuoy for that
― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 12 May 2022 09:37 (one week ago) link
Spacey had plenty of lifeboys.
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 12 May 2022 10:00 (one week ago) link
Sam Neill is very good in Hunt For The Wilderpeople, can only imagine the carnage if Bloom lives to be the appropriate age for that kind of role.
― Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 12 May 2022 10:12 (one week ago) link