How will Trump leave the White House

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Lick my nuuuutz

Poll Results

OptionVotes
He will move out secretly a month early 34
Covered in his own feces 9
Carried by people in black suits 6
In a truck honking the horn 6
He won. Stop it. 4
Othure 3
Carried by people in white coat 3
On a unicycle 2
Carried out by 6 people 2
He will kung fu his way out 1
He won't - he'll seal himself into the wall 0
In a tank 0


Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 04:50 (two months ago) link

Has he ever really been there. Is it not a homoculuous, wandering the halls.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 7 November 2020 04:53 (two months ago) link

He's bone-spurred pussy-grabber, not a fighter. He'll see there's nothing in it for him to be escorted out physically and he'll fold up like an umbrella. He'll go meekly, leaving a mess and inadequate tips for the hired help.

Then he'll fly to Mar-A-Lago and suck his thumb for a few days in fetal position before he gets up, puts on his power suit and tie, eats a hearty meal of KFC and starts considering various media offers and making unrealistic salary demands.

the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Saturday, 7 November 2020 05:00 (two months ago) link

I voted truck but I can’t see him deigning to sit around there for his whole lame duck period when he could be in Florida

all cats are beautiful (silby), Saturday, 7 November 2020 05:07 (two months ago) link

he will be nowhere to be found

ciderpress, Saturday, 7 November 2020 05:47 (two months ago) link

Write-in vote for “on a gurney”

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Saturday, 7 November 2020 06:18 (two months ago) link

he will sneak out in the dead of night like the pusillanimous toad he truly is

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 7 November 2020 08:02 (two months ago) link

Like Ben Horne being arrested.

OrificeMax (Old Lunch), Saturday, 7 November 2020 08:09 (two months ago) link

I got stuck with the image of him inhabiting the crawlspaces of the white house for months. BUt like other vermin wouldn't he be fumigated much earlier. & would he get stuck in there and cause even more of a stink than he has already.

Alternatively maybe using those old legendary tunnels under the white house to leave quietly so nobody sees him go and he can sneak off to be the philanthropic deity he's alkways secretly been. Gosh he can keep a secret well.

BUt then I shook of the reverie and realised he needed to suck the energy out of a crowd so would need to stand in front of one one last time. THough probably is going to9 be running wrongfully evicted rallies for months to come.

Or yet again, him getting an actual real case of the rona from his close buddy Meadows and having to be removed to a hospital and this time not pullling through. so becoming a martyr to a so called imaginary disease.

Stevolende, Saturday, 7 November 2020 09:49 (two months ago) link

When they kick at your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun?

Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Saturday, 7 November 2020 09:59 (two months ago) link

At the last moment through a concealed escape chute, cackling evilly.

chap, Saturday, 7 November 2020 10:22 (two months ago) link

liquefying in a bin bag please

assert (MatthewK), Saturday, 7 November 2020 11:48 (two months ago) link

Other. He's not. None of these networks is going to call the race because they need him badly.

the colour out of space (is the place) (PBKR), Saturday, 7 November 2020 13:41 (two months ago) link

What you gonna do when things go wrong?
What you gonna do when it all cracks up?
What you gonna do when the love burns down?
What you gonna do when the flames go up?
Who is gonna come and turn the tide?
What's it gonna take to make a dream survive?
Who's got the touch to calm the storm inside?
Who's gonna save you?
Alive and kicking

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 7 November 2020 13:50 (two months ago) link

(xp) In other words, Jared Kushner jumps out of a window and breaks both legs, Giuliani is found lying dead at the bottom of a staircase, Pence shoots himself in the head, Trump tries to do the same and only succeeds in shooting himself in the jaw and is rendered unable to communicate and taken to the guillotine the next day, mute and in agony.

Boring blighters bloaters (Tom D.), Saturday, 7 November 2020 13:55 (two months ago) link

Tell the Democrat Governors that “Mutiny On The Bounty” was one of my all time favorite movies. A good old fashioned mutiny every now and then is an exciting and invigorating thing to watch, especially when the mutineers need so much from the Captain. Too easy!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 14, 2020

That's right, sir, just like Captain Bligh.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/56/Arrest_of_Govenor_Bligh.jpg

Pre-Raphaelite Brah (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 7 November 2020 13:58 (two months ago) link

Trump couldn’t even win that standoff with Pelosi a while back about giving the State of the Union speech. It won’t come to physical removal.

Chris L, Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:00 (two months ago) link

i think he is just going to sulk away

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:02 (two months ago) link

Innocence tube

epistantophus, Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:05 (two months ago) link

FWIW, in Jane Mayer's recent Trump piece in the New Yorker (pre-election)

Michael Cohen, Trump’s former attorney, told me, “He will not concede. Never, ever, ever.” He went on, “I believe he’s going to challenge the validity of the vote in each and every state he loses—claiming ballot fraud, seeking to undermine the process and invalidate it.”

...

Cohen is so certain that Trump will lose that he recently placed a ten-thousand-dollar bet on it. “He’ll blame everyone except for himself,” Cohen said. “Every day, he’ll rant and rave and yell and scream about how they stole the Presidency from him. He’ll say he won by millions and millions of ballots, and they cheated with votes from dead people and people who weren’t born yet. He’ll tell all sorts of lies and activate his militias. It’s going to be a pathetic show. But, by stacking the Supreme Court, he’ll think he can get an injunction. Trump repeats his lies over and over with the belief that the more he tells them the more people will believe them. We all wish he’d just shut up, but the problem is he won’t.”

Michael Cohen pretty otm?

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:10 (two months ago) link

I’m not sure this will come to anything though. In the end I doubt he’ll put himself in a position to be dragged out of the white house.

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:12 (two months ago) link

Oh, he won't. But he will drag this on and on and never concede.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:13 (two months ago) link

They key question is whether the Republican Party will go along with the idea that this was a “stolen” election. So far they’ve always gone along with him, but when he is out of office the political calculus might be different.

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:17 (two months ago) link

He'll go meekly, leaving a mess and inadequate tips for the hired help.


iirc for his faults Trump is a big tipper

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:26 (two months ago) link

lol

These 18 seconds of Citizen Kane. https://t.co/prQNoKnwk7

— Jonathan Mahler (@jonathanmahler) November 7, 2020

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:27 (two months ago) link

iirc for his faults Trump is a big tipper

My friend's exgf worked at his golf course in Scotland and still had a £50 note Trump had tipped her as a souvenir some years later

I would have spent it

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 7 November 2020 14:38 (two months ago) link

Innocence tube

It's an Innocence tube
It's just an Innocence tube
It's a put-on

coup de nancy grace (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 7 November 2020 15:21 (two months ago) link

it doesn't matter if no networks call the race or Trump never concedes because all that's required to close an election are the states certifying their results, which will all happen by early Dec

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 16:21 (two months ago) link

voted "other" since "kicking and screaming" is missing

howls of non-specificity (sleeve), Saturday, 7 November 2020 16:22 (two months ago) link

he will be carried out kicking and screaming and wearing a comedy mustache that he demanded so people wouldn't know it was him being carried out

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 16:28 (two months ago) link

Sad!

rob, Saturday, 7 November 2020 16:41 (two months ago) link

i'm jackin it

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 16:51 (two months ago) link

Look they’re already digging his grave in the White House lawn.

Ape Hole Road (Boring, Maryland), Saturday, 7 November 2020 17:44 (two months ago) link

The possibilities are delicious, I can't wait for this. However it goes down, it's gonna be ugly.

Maresn3st, Saturday, 7 November 2020 17:55 (two months ago) link

He will move out secretly a month early ... but still covered in feces.

On average, this critic grades 8.3 points lower than other critics (Eric H.), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:18 (two months ago) link

that's why he's leaving early

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:19 (two months ago) link

In all seriousness... I can’t see any way he is going to be able to even pretend to engage with the job or the appearance of the job these next 2.5 months

covidsbundlertanze op. 6 (Jon not Jon), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:23 (two months ago) link

This is bound to be the weirdest lame duck period in US history

covidsbundlertanze op. 6 (Jon not Jon), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:23 (two months ago) link

He is gonna golf and ragetweet 94/7.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:23 (two months ago) link

He will leave it in a car
He will leave it in a jar

Mark G, Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:24 (two months ago) link

he's going to rage and golftweet

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:25 (two months ago) link

I DO NOT HAVE A HANDICAP I AM NOT A SCRATCH GOLFER

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:25 (two months ago) link

No perp-walked by at least one police force?

Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:57 (two months ago) link

poop-walked

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 18:58 (two months ago) link

i think he'll be spending most of the lame duck period at mar a lago and bedminster

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 19:06 (two months ago) link

he's not going to help prepare for the transition

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 19:06 (two months ago) link

Faeces makes sense I guess, he’s been rubbing them on his face at every appearance since he had the rona

assert (MatthewK), Saturday, 7 November 2020 19:17 (two months ago) link

xp
Is he aware taht is a convention. I think he fired everybody who was going to be ion his transition team , at least from thsoe roles didn't he?

Stevolende, Saturday, 7 November 2020 19:18 (two months ago) link

it has to be what happened

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 21:56 (two months ago) link

What a PR bonanza for what appears to be a small mom-and-pop kind of business.

henry s, Saturday, 7 November 2020 21:57 (two months ago) link

sadly the sex store is getting more press than the landscape business,

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 21:58 (two months ago) link

amazing

i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 7 November 2020 22:13 (two months ago) link

Aide: Four Seasons booked for press conference
Giuliani: Yeah, I'd like to suck on some of that!
Aide: o_O

<Rudy follows GPS, realizes it's Four Seasons Landscaping and not Four Seasons Hotel>

Giuliani: Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 22:17 (two months ago) link

Big press conference today in Philadelphia at Four Seasons Total Landscaping — 11:30am!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 7, 2020

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 22:17 (two months ago) link

it's just so funny that he tweeted the name of this business

treeship., Saturday, 7 November 2020 22:17 (two months ago) link

Very "have the Rolling Stones killed" moment

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 November 2020 22:18 (two months ago) link

It’s Total War at Total Landscaping: “We Totally Won!”

kiss some penis reference (breastcrawl), Saturday, 7 November 2020 22:23 (two months ago) link

starting to be convinced that they're literally going to airlift the White House to a remote location and then build a brand new one for Biden and Trump will still give orders and people will pretend to follow them but will actually follow Biden.

so basically season 1 of Sopranos

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Monday, 9 November 2020 17:52 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 30 December 2020 00:01 (three weeks ago) link

So the timing of this poll is awkward, because now we all know he’s probably gone ahead with “secretly move out a month early”

sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Wednesday, 30 December 2020 00:31 (three weeks ago) link

'Covered in his own feces' is technically still a possibility, so I went with that one.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 30 December 2020 00:32 (three weeks ago) link

remember those hilarious memes from late 2016 where Biden told Obama about all the booby traps he was leaving around the White House?

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 30 December 2020 00:39 (three weeks ago) link

just need to recycle those now

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 30 December 2020 00:40 (three weeks ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 31 December 2020 00:01 (three weeks ago) link

lol you sneaky cheaters

Two Meter Peter (Ste), Thursday, 31 December 2020 19:48 (three weeks ago) link

(nb i'm on that list)

Two Meter Peter (Ste), Thursday, 31 December 2020 19:49 (three weeks ago) link

Today, he went back to the White House just to spite ILX voters.

On average, this critic grades 8.3 points lower than other critics (Eric H.), Thursday, 31 December 2020 20:09 (three weeks ago) link

whoever wagered feces may double their bet

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Monday, 11 January 2021 20:31 (two weeks ago) link

thx

pomenitul, Monday, 11 January 2021 20:31 (two weeks ago) link

"Covered in someone else's feces" was not an option why exactly?

i'm so into fping right now (Eric H.), Monday, 11 January 2021 20:32 (two weeks ago) link

too many options - WHOSE feces?

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Monday, 11 January 2021 20:35 (two weeks ago) link

Zero vote options looking more and more likely

fish quits shock (Matt #2), Monday, 11 January 2021 20:42 (two weeks ago) link

fearing that tank

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Monday, 11 January 2021 20:43 (two weeks ago) link

He's been trying desperately for the last several days but, alas, he has yet to successfully flush himself down the toilet and out to sea.

Meat Chew All the Way (Old Lunch), Monday, 11 January 2021 20:46 (two weeks ago) link

I'm gonna go with 'someone finds him hiding under a suspiciously lumpy rug several weeks into Biden's administration, rolls him up in said rug, stuffs said rug into a closet and says no more about the affair'.

Meat Chew All the Way (Old Lunch), Monday, 11 January 2021 20:51 (two weeks ago) link

i think i went with other because "tank" was too specific

sarahell, Monday, 11 January 2021 23:08 (two weeks ago) link

bodybag

hopefully

Fenners' Pen (jim in vancouver), Monday, 11 January 2021 23:39 (two weeks ago) link

Would be something if he left the White House the same way Cooper escaped the Black Lodge/Purple Room in TP:TR, by getting sucked out through an electrical outlet.

epistantophus, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 01:04 (one week ago) link

Hurry up

Alba, Wednesday, 20 January 2021 13:00 (five days ago) link

GOT OUT

Alba, Wednesday, 20 January 2021 13:24 (five days ago) link

with very little fanfare he didn't try to create himself.
Laughing at the send off do's minimalism.
But he can always try to blow his own trumpet, probably sound pretty bad anyway.

Stevolende, Wednesday, 20 January 2021 13:35 (five days ago) link

still time for him to cover himself in his own feces

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 13:41 (five days ago) link

It is ALWAYS time for him to cover himself in feces

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 13:57 (five days ago) link

Still time for novichok.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 20 January 2021 14:00 (five days ago) link

misread that as noise-rock, which is also true I suppose

A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 14:07 (five days ago) link

it's sad, he was a defecator

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:22 (five days ago) link

he is back in mar a lago now for good right

treeship., Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:24 (five days ago) link

For good!

John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:28 (five days ago) link

phew. i hope he doesn't come back to new york.

treeship., Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:28 (five days ago) link

or bedminister. i like him far away.

treeship., Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:28 (five days ago) link

or maybe not I guess, they are trying to prevent him from living there full-time

John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:29 (five days ago) link

I can't imagine him ever living in nyc again

John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:29 (five days ago) link

Won't be sad if he spends the rest of his years being chased out of everywhere he tries to live.

soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:30 (five days ago) link

he didn't really visit new york that much during his presidency. not a sentimental guy i guess.

treeship., Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:31 (five days ago) link

It's not for you
New York
New York

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:32 (five days ago) link

Still time for novichok.

― pomenitul, Wednesday, 20 January 2021 14:00 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Qanondorf (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:41 (five days ago) link

Still time for the percolator.

shivers me timber (sic), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 17:07 (five days ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/tomlyvC.jpg

(•̪●) (carne asada), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 17:17 (five days ago) link


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