I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

I've been laughing a lot today at this thread tbh.

we were treating the thread like a FOLDER of actually funny posts. now we are having a CONVERSATION about vacuum cleaners.

I keep my shark tm vacuum cleaner out in the middle of the room the better to demonstrate how i eschew the 2018 brandchasing desperation of the d*son shills

I've got 99 vacuums but a Bissell ain't one

"Having an idea for doing something better and making it happen - even though it appears impossible. That's still my dream." James Dyson. Engineer.

sharks seem to get good notices
for years I had my grandma's old oreck what a tank. I agree that bags are actually cleaner but my problem was I would forget to buy bags and then not vacuum because I had no bags

you needed a modern miracle of another kind -- a vacuum bag subscription

HOW COME EVERYONE ISN'T GOING BONKERS OVER LOUIS JAGGER PLAYING BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY WITH A DYSON VACCUMM???

my mom had one of these
https://pictureserver.auctionninja.com/pictureserver/sistersincharge/auction-images/37/63837260_IMG1312.JPG

Removing bookmark

Removing bookmark

xxp: Electrolux: Mom-tested, jamband-approved

https://miro.medium.com/max/1400/1*DabSucj9QoqiQ4YgMq2WKw.png

are 15 hour training days normal?

― koogs, Saturday, January 8, 2022 2:04 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

definitely not!

― they were written with a ouija board and a rhyming dictionary (Neanderthal), Saturday, January 8, 2022 2:08 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

the one with Denzel was 2 hours

― sarahell, Saturday, January 8, 2022 3:17 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Heh

LOL

From US politics:

"Hard R district" is kind of a double entendre these days

― frogbs

har dee hard r

― reggae mike love (polyphonic)

'har dee r' would have been better

'har d r' if we're being even pickier, which we should be

guys, it's a miss

https://i.gifer.com/origin/02/02fc4313db56a52ca220b2337fcbf303.gif

better for punning "hardy har har"?

guys, it's a miss

everyone's a critic

It’s not the consumer’s fault that artists don’t get paid well. It’s not the consumer’s fault that Spotify charges so little. It’s not the consumer’s fault that major labels didn’t negotiate better terms with streamers, nor that they don’t offer better terms to their artists.
― sctttnnnt (pgwp)

Is that honestly the way you see yourself as a consumer? Helpless?
― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open)

I don't associate "Helpless" with Spotify anymore.
― deep luminous trombone (Eazy)

It does not strictly work, therefore I cannot lol

it's a neil young hit, you must acquit

the quibble and the damage done

"Helpless" would've been a tricky one even back in the Napster days.

[Re: Tom Brady]

i want him go go away, but i also might want him to stay and shit on adam schefter constantly

― mookieproof, Saturday, January 29, 2022 10:03 PM bookmarkflaglink

sounds like you're looking for an only fans

― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Saturday, January 29, 2022 10:40 PM bookmarkflaglink

hahahaha

feed me with your chips (zchyrs)
Posted: 16 February 2022 at 21:58:59

"I felt a great disturbance in The Vibe, as if millions of tastemakers suddenly cried out in boredom, and were suddenly silenced"

Has Latvia left NATO and no-one told me?

― Blu Ray Davies (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 February 2022 21:51 (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

knocked out in the qualifiers

― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Thursday, 24 February 2022 21:54 (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

VAR is hell.

― Blu Ray Davies (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 February 2022 21:54 (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

As of March 1, GMG Union is officially on strike. We're asking people not to click on—or contribute content to—@Gizmodo, @Jalopnik, @Jezebel, @Kotaku, @Lifehacker, and @TheRoot.

Learn more about our fight for a fair contract with @GOMediaInc: https://t.co/xX0476MfI4
— GMG Union (@gmgunion) March 1, 2022

― jbn, Tuesday, March 1, 2022 11:40 AM bookmarkflaglink

No prob.

― peace, man, Tuesday, March 1, 2022 11:48 AM bookmarkflaglink

time for a new thread ?

― conrad, Thursday, 3 March 2022 12:55 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

"time for new threads" - MPs collecting their forced payrise

― nashwan, Thursday, 3 March 2022 13:19 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Time for new Threads (TV Movie, 1984).

― Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Thursday, 3 March 2022 13:31 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

*Reading about nuclear war in my newspaper 12 hours after it started over my morning coffee and bowl of Cornflakes*

Sounds bad..

― xyzzzz__, Friday, March 4, 2022 3:04 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Snap, crackle and pop indeed.

― Resident Papist (Tom D.), Friday, March 4, 2022 3:07 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

they're after me nuclear arms

― rob, Friday, March 4, 2022 3:09 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

muesli assured destruction

― wins, Friday, March 4, 2022 3:12 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

sure but it's tricky to treat sitcom characters this way

― frogbs, Tuesday, 8 March 2022 18:28 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

no it isnt, its fake and we can literaly make shit up

― class project pat (m bison), Tuesday, 8 March 2022 18:59 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I dunno I have this weird habit of thinking other people exist

― Nordle (Noodle Vague), Sunday, March 13, 2022 9:35 AM (forty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I don't have this problem

Every time there's an ILX beef I look in like "why are my Sims fighting"

― flow, my crimson tears (flamboyant goon tie included), Sunday, March 13, 2022 9:40 AM (forty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I went to tbe Laurie Anderson exhibit

Today I learned that the original Adina Howard version of “Freak Like Me” has an uncensored version where she uses an expletive instead of saying “I need a roughneck brother that can satisfy me.” And I learned this in about the most embarrassing way possible. Thanks a lot, Alexa!

Kidz Bop has gone too far

― Otto Insurance (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, March 17, 2022 4:15 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Ignore stray first line

― Otto Insurance (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, March 17, 2022 4:22 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

o superman
o freak like me
o ruffneck person that can satisfy me just for me

― celebrating ten years of constant posting (breastcrawl), Thursday, March 17, 2022 5:13 PM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Excellent

the arguable climax of "drive my car" is entirely in sign language, just give the dang oscar to "drive my car"!

― na (NA), Monday, March 28, 2022 9:36 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

ppl who know sign language have legitimate complaints about drive my car

― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Monday, March 28, 2022 9:37 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

oh, what are they?

― na (NA), Monday, March 28, 2022 9:53 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

It's 3 hours long, it's slow, no superheroes...

― Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Monday, March 28, 2022 10:13 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

This woman was brought to tears over the mere sight of Elon Musk. Psychotic. pic.twitter.com/WqMMbVHEGx

— Matt Saincome (@MattSaincome) April 8, 2022

― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Friday, April 8, 2022 2:10 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

he's the fifth Beatle

― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, April 8, 2022 2:46 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

more like the filth butthole

― Toxoplasmosis Jones (cat), Friday, April 8, 2022 5:24 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

The whole quote is funny:

I don't have a project. I have nothing at Cannes. It's unfortunate. It got built up that people thought, "Oh, that'd be nice." But there is something new, but it's not mine. I don't know whose it is. They say there's something new at Cannes, and they don't say whose it is, and some people thought it was my film, but it's not. So we'll wait and see, and see whose it is.

― gop on ya gingrich (wins), Wednesday, April 13, 2022 5:26 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Someone pointed out to me that it's all too easy to read that in Trump voice.

― Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Wednesday, April 13, 2022 9:24 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

ha

― Ste, Wednesday, April 13, 2022 10:51 AM (fifty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

So much Palme d’Or winning

― Alba, Wednesday, April 13, 2022 10:56 AM (forty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

True of lynch quotes in general

― gop on ya gingrich (wins), Wednesday, April 13, 2022 11:06 AM (thirty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

"A lot of people are asking me, 'whats going on behind Winkies?' They're saying 'we dont wanna go to Winkies, we're scared of Winkies, we had a dream about Winkies'. We're gonna get in there and we're gonna figure out whats back there, is it a man or a woman or a monster or whatever it is and get it out of there and we'll all have a beautiful time at Winkies again."

― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Wednesday, April 13, 2022 11:41 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

From WIZARD OF OZ AND PINK FLOYD

Fools. The REAL payoff is synchronizing George Cukor's A Star Is Born and Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks.

― birdistheword, Friday, June 10, 2022 10:26 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Used to be a place in town that would screen Nosferatu to Kid A... apparently lots of cool sync moments...

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Friday, June 10, 2022 11:26 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

If you put on Achilles Last Stand when they enter the corridor to the Wizard’s chamber

― calstars, Friday, June 10, 2022 11:48 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

hardcore ppl sync Annie with Queensyche’s Operation Mindcrime

― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, June 10, 2022 11:51 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

yes, yes, i know, the wizard of oz stars judy garland and dark side of the moon has a rainbow on the cover. like don't get me wrong pink floyd rules and all but dark side of the moon isn't even _that_ queer. have you tried maybe, like, an ethel cain album or something?

― Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, June 11, 2022 12:26 AM (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

I wonder if he is going to try to retroactively declare Mar- a - Lago as a presidential library and claim anyone could have made an appointment to see the “nuclear”.

― Mar - a - Lago, or 120 Days of Sodom (Boring, Maryland), Friday, August 12, 2022 10:50 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

opening a library in Florida is also a felony though

― rob, Friday, August 12, 2022 10:59 AM (fifty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

howled at that one

feel like Trump's passports getting seized is a pretty big deal

― frogbs, Monday, August 15, 2022 8:20 PM (yesterday)

to say nothing of his apes

― nashwan, Monday, August 15, 2022 8:25 PM (yesterday)

One of them is 100% straight up conservative, one claims to be liberal and seems to be on some issues but really haaaates masks and the third is just a weirdo who comments on everything and I can't figure out their actual position on anything at all.

― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, October 3, 2022 12:09 PM (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

"Tonight on Crossfire"

― Ned Raggett, Monday, October 3, 2022 12:09 PM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I’m not a fan of Bukowski’s misogyny but like many other awful people I find a lot of his work compelling.

― omar little, Thursday, October 20, 2022 10:56 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

You're probably not that awful, omar.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, October 20, 2022 11:12 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

aww

lol

president richard nixon's head gets stuff done, dammit
― comedy khadafi (voodoo chili), Thursday, November 3, 2022 9:26 AM (eighteen minutes ago)

gross
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Thursday, November 3, 2022 9:26 AM (eighteen minutes ago)