I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

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I would rather not go
Back to the old lols
I would rather not go
Back to the old lols
There's too many bad parodies
Too many parodies there

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Wednesday, October 28, 2020 2:35 PM (one hour ago)

sarahell, Wednesday, 28 October 2020 23:11 (six months ago) link

i'm certain this one is good

The Beige of Dadz (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 28 October 2020 23:13 (six months ago) link

Lols and zings are on your side

Anaïs Ninja (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 29 October 2020 00:37 (six months ago) link

but snide is on mine

assert (MatthewK), Thursday, 29 October 2020 06:24 (six months ago) link

how you took a child, and you made him LOL

The Wealth Dad $ |_/ (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 29 October 2020 18:54 (six months ago) link

tonight i'm going to lol you tonight

Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Thursday, 29 October 2020 18:56 (six months ago) link

Personally I'm a three wolf moon voter.

Also today I learned Glenn Greenwald's middle name

― Anaïs Ninja (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, October 29, 2020 4:41 PM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

is it Gary

― frogbs, Thursday, October 29, 2020 4:41 PM (three minutes ago

Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 29 October 2020 20:45 (six months ago) link

osamathumbsup.jpg

A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 29 October 2020 21:16 (six months ago) link

lol

imago, Thursday, 29 October 2020 21:18 (six months ago) link

always be clinking

sarahell, Friday, 30 October 2020 00:02 (six months ago) link

vg+

Mark G, Saturday, 31 October 2020 09:51 (six months ago) link

https://i.ibb.co/2q03wGH/Screen-Shot-2020-10-31-at-10-11-21.png

imago, Saturday, 31 October 2020 11:55 (six months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU

big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:02 (six months ago) link

I had to

imago, Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:13 (six months ago) link

Also breaking the law by posting something funny in the excelsior thread

big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:31 (six months ago) link

Tier 1 is "very important to let it spread", so, let it spread.

A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:40 (six months ago) link

Haven’t you heard, there are no more tiers. That’s Johnson baby

Gab B. Nebsit (wins), Saturday, 31 October 2020 13:34 (six months ago) link

isn't Johnson also the manufacturer of Toilet Duck?

sarahell, Saturday, 31 October 2020 18:50 (six months ago) link

Toilet Duct.

Young Boys of Bernie (Tom D.), Saturday, 31 October 2020 18:58 (six months ago) link

S C Johnson, a family company actually.

big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 October 2020 19:28 (six months ago) link

Man why don't y'all cool out, listen to some Teddy Ruxpin

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, October 31, 2020 5:30 PM (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I hereby give this EXCELSIOR AWARD for the POSTING OF A FUNNY COMMENT to ilx poster: NEAMBERTHAL! good job, dude

the burrito that defined a generation, Sunday, 1 November 2020 00:38 (six months ago) link

This is like luriqua posting after a stint at the Betty Ford clinic

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, October 31, 2020 6:59 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

drug addiction LOL! Neanberthal is ON FIRE tonight! wink.PNG

the burrito that defined a generation, Sunday, 1 November 2020 02:01 (six months ago) link

Loved this, good striking imagery too

cointelamateur (m bison)
Posted: 1 November 2020 at 22:54:19
like this is some poochie had to go back to his home planet levels of public embarrassment, you just need to hang it the fuck up, get a yurt somewhere and figure some shit out

liberté, égalité, scampé (gyac), Sunday, 1 November 2020 23:27 (six months ago) link

Guayaquil (eephus!)
Posted: November 1, 2020 at 6:44:21 PM
If Trump wins again Marcus can write a book called DIPSHIT RACIST: A SECRET HISTORY OF THE 21st CENTURY

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Monday, 2 November 2020 15:50 (six months ago) link

lmao

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 2 November 2020 15:53 (six months ago) link

If Osama Bin Laden had an “R” next to his name he’d get 35-40 pct of the vote I reckon

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:12 (thirty-four minutes ago) link

He loves guns and believes in the church

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:12 (thirty-three minutes ago) link

...

unfortunately his name does rhyme with "obama"

― it bangs for thee (Simon H.), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:18 (twenty-eight minutes ago)

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:49 (six months ago) link

vg+

Mark G, Thursday, 5 November 2020 07:59 (six months ago) link

this bump

Life Without Buildings

and then ufo's coup de grace

imago, Thursday, 5 November 2020 12:27 (six months ago) link

lol

treeship., Thursday, 5 November 2020 12:40 (six months ago) link

Why is there a karaoke version of Juno?!

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 5 November 2020 12:41 (six months ago) link

Lol This reads like part of a Star Wars film opening crawl:
(via CNN)

“ Entrenched at the White House with no public events on his schedule, Trump has personally dispatched advisers to battlegrounds across the country hoping to wage legal battle in places where the margins remain tight. Despite skepticism about the efficacy of his strategy, Trump has remained intent on waging a prolonged fight, viewing it as his only option.”

― SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:52 AM (six minutes ago)

lol

― Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:53 AM (six minutes ago)

he's gonna make the best deal between the trade federation and naboo

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:58 AM (one minute ago)

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:00 (six months ago) link

was just coming here for that reason

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:05 (six months ago) link

omg @ that Life Without Buildings mashup, wow

flamboyant goon tie included, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:07 (six months ago) link

Okay so I shared a screenshot of Jay Vee's post on Twitter and someone ran with it

https://starwarsintrocreator.kassellabs.io/#!/CMLP0f7hYvBSBqWj_Xwu

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:15 (six months ago) link

lol

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:17 (six months ago) link

the pan down to the incomplete Death Star is *chef's kiss*

DJP, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:24 (six months ago) link

"You have failed me for the last time, Parscale!"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:25 (six months ago) link

star wars

Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:26 (six months ago) link

it's a bit early in the week for SNL, no?

imago, Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:09 (six months ago) link

SNL = Starwars No Lol ?

sarahell, Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:09 (six months ago) link

Some nerd laughs

Young Boys of Bernie (Tom D.), Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:10 (six months ago) link

secondhand Ned lark

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:12 (six months ago) link

let me have this

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:12 (six months ago) link

Sh@kedown Needs Lolz

sarahell, Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:13 (six months ago) link

I do!

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:13 (six months ago) link

lol ok fine

imago, Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:21 (six months ago) link

epistantophus
Posted: November 5, 2020 at 7:27:57 PM

_I feel like this is a Twilight Zone ep where we keep being told moer voets, and moer voets are coming, and the voets never come, and nobody ever wins, and nobody ever loses, and we are perennially in this election forever as time becomes a loop_

Every day they will count exactly half the remaining votes.

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Friday, 6 November 2020 02:48 (six months ago) link

But the follow-up is key:

Every day they will count exactly half the remaining votes.

― epistantophus

trump, putting the zeno in xenophobia

― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine)

didgeridon't (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 6 November 2020 02:56 (six months ago) link

Haha I was just copying that and getting ready to paste it but I’m too slow on my phone.

epistantophus, Friday, 6 November 2020 02:58 (six months ago) link

Follow-up was a fucking masterstroke, well done katherine!

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Friday, 6 November 2020 03:12 (six months ago) link

That ol' Wilhelm scheme.

pplains, Wednesday, 10 March 2021 21:57 (one month ago) link

Ah!

peace, man, Wednesday, 10 March 2021 22:04 (one month ago) link

Um, ok

Mark G, Thursday, 11 March 2021 07:34 (one month ago) link

I did read somewhere that the UK is looking into whether there's increased effectiveness when they mix up the first and second dose providers (so here it would be AZ for one and Pfizer for the other), but haven't seen any results.

This is called the Arnold pharma

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, March 12, 2021 3:32 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

map ca. 1890 (map), Friday, 12 March 2021 20:04 (one month ago) link

70,000 Tons of Metal cruise was amazing and life-changing. but apparently one year on that cruise the pool area was cleared out and someone was thrown in the brig because he ate this lady's ass in full view of everyone in broad daylight while in the hot tub

― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Monday, March 15, 2021 2:08 PM bookmarkflaglink

Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Monday, 15 March 2021 19:21 (one month ago) link

Yknow, yeah, the more I think about this, the funnier I find it. I was also picturing, like, Cannibal Corpse playing.

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:17 (one month ago) link

who eats ass in the hot tub

map ca. 1890 (map), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:19 (one month ago) link

anywhere but the champagne room tbh

intern at pepe le pew research (Simon H.), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:22 (one month ago) link

Even regular sex in a hot tub is a little strange, ime.

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:32 (one month ago) link

Regular sex in any body of water not a shower or stall is impossible if you imitate the callisthenics in Hollywood films.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:38 (one month ago) link

yeahhhh. also hot tubs are just gross imo.

map ca. 1890 (map), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:39 (one month ago) link

Hungry4Protozoa

intern at pepe le pew research (Simon H.), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:46 (one month ago) link

even the local swingers club doesn't allow sex in the hot tub area.

don't ask how i know.

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:47 (one month ago) link

I bet this never happened on the NRO cruise, mostly because participants were too busy berating the crew to get around to eating ass in public

Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:52 (one month ago) link

lol, berating attendants is basically sex to those people and the real thing is inaccessible to them anyway

map ca. 1890 (map), Monday, 15 March 2021 20:56 (one month ago) link

And I wouldn't be fond of swearing but when I do go at it, I go at it awful and very hard.

I do have 45 ‘cunts’ in about two hours. I'd have a smatter of ‘fucks’ then, and a maybe an old patter of ‘gobshite’.

And I'd go for probably, I'd have ten more anyway. And I'd get up the following morning and read back ilx and the husband would have the stern eye on.

And I'd go at it again. And there'd be no fucking stopping me. I'd take the shirt off any man's back. Bastards.

― Scamp Granada (gyac), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 21:42 (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Marry and Neghim (darraghmac), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 21:54 (one month ago) link

gotta earn that username

Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 23:16 (one month ago) link

an early st patrick's felicitation

imago, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 23:23 (one month ago) link

xp ♥

Scamp Granada (gyac), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 23:39 (one month ago) link

oh so i don't

imago, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 23:41 (one month ago) link

lj

Scamp Granada (gyac), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 23:42 (one month ago) link

st patrick's fellatiation?

imagine flagons (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 23:54 (one month ago) link

^^^i know i call excelsior dead ten times a twelvemonth but i reckon this might actually have done the job

imago, Wednesday, 17 March 2021 00:01 (one month ago) link

Lol failure phadraig

Marry and Neghim (darraghmac), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 00:24 (one month ago) link

superb work mo chara

Scamp Granada (gyac), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 00:30 (one month ago) link

you cant buy lingual like that cinnte

Marry and Neghim (darraghmac), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 01:03 (one month ago) link

i think i like this one even better out of context:

At one point a very drunk guy stood up and yelled "OK BUT WHAT'S A GENITAL CAT????"
― intern at pepe le pew research (Simon H.), Thursday, March 25, 2021

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 25 March 2021 17:19 (one month ago) link

I guess if you're comfortable dealing with Python packages, there are some QR generator packages.

― o. nate, Monday, 29 March 2021 21:20 (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

i for one am super comfortable dealing with python packages

― John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Monday, 29 March 2021 21:21 (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Marry and Neghim (darraghmac), Monday, 29 March 2021 23:32 (one month ago) link

"meanwhile the US is taking a nationalised approach to a public health matter for the first time in decades, and finding its way more efficient than the local and private bottlenecks once the vaccines arrive"
What US is that?
― the last unvaccinated motherfucker on earth (PBKR), Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Philadelphia is still in Phase 1A
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, March 31, 2021

xp yeah maybe thats how they do it in Upper Samaraland but here in the home of the brave we're still hanging out behind walgreens after closing time
― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Wednesday, March 31, 2021

^^ sharpest line Lana Del Rey ever wrote
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, March 31, 2021

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 31 March 2021 15:02 (one month ago) link

Did we figure out the Imperioli connection to all of this just yet?

― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 31 March 2021 14:40 (thirty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Imperioli provides the hair curlers for Kev’s perm

― Position Position, Wednesday, 31 March 2021 15:13 (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

imperioli is a known huge fan and i'm guessing he'd just heard the inside word about the reissues somehow

― ufo, Wednesday, 31 March 2021 15:15 (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

MBV have entered their Imperioli phase

― jmm, Wednesday, 31 March 2021 15:17 (fifty-seven seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

imago, Wednesday, 31 March 2021 15:18 (one month ago) link

Something looks missing from bedpo-
Oh. pic.twitter.com/EZPDFLHtLe

— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) March 29, 2021

― superdeep borehole (harbl), Wednesday, March 31, 2021 2:23 PM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

i jumped a bit when the red pillow showed up, v unexpected

― eisimpleir (crüt), Wednesday, March 31, 2021 5:50 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Amazing level of aesthetic commitment

― jmm, Wednesday, March 31, 2021 5:54 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Schindler's Listing

― pplains, Wednesday, March 31, 2021 6:13 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Wednesday, 31 March 2021 18:37 (one month ago) link

plus if gonzaga wins tonight, they go on to fight their true nemesis: king kong.

― voodoo chili, Monday, April 5, 2021 6:15 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

BrianB, Monday, 5 April 2021 23:47 (one month ago) link

lol

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 6 April 2021 00:31 (one month ago) link

Lil Yachty re: his like "My new bitch yellow / she blow that dick like a cello": "I fucked up. I thought Squidward played the cello. He don't. That's a flute. I fucked up."

― justfanoe (Greg Fanoe), Thursday, April 8, 2021 2:00 PM bookmarkflaglink

(also, he actually plays the clarinet)

― justfanoe (Greg Fanoe), Thursday, April 8, 2021 2:00 PM bookmarkflaglink

Dana Jel Pey (DJP), Thursday, 8 April 2021 20:26 (four weeks ago) link

I am dead

Dana Jel Pey (DJP), Thursday, 8 April 2021 20:27 (four weeks ago) link

SILVIO: I don’t know, T. That digital looks pretty rough. Doesn’t sit right with me.

PAULIE (nodding): PD150. It’s to be expected.

TONY: Again with this shit. It’s an AESTHETIC DECISION!

― jammy mcnullity (wins), Friday, April 16, 2021 2:47 PM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

do you have more of that written?

― rob, Friday, April 16, 2021 3:16 PM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Monday, 19 April 2021 17:42 (two weeks ago) link

From the SoM thread:

Adrenochrome just keeps getting better with age.

― stirmonster, Thursday, April 22, 2021 9:39 AM (forty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

that’s not what I’ve heard

― JoeStork, Thursday, April 22, 2021 12:29 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

eisimpleir (crüt), Thursday, 22 April 2021 17:31 (two weeks ago) link

Haw :)

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 23 April 2021 06:02 (two weeks ago) link

these celebrity leftists always have a few good takes, that's how they get you

― Left, Saturday, 24 April 2021 16:30 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Why don't you fuck off and stop bringing everybody down, you miserable puritanical cunt?

― Authoritarian Steaks (Tom D.), Saturday, 24 April 2021 16:54 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

in conclusion, Charlie Chaplin was a land of contrasts.

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Saturday, 24 April 2021 16:55 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

killed me

flagpost fucking (darraghmac), Saturday, 24 April 2021 21:14 (one week ago) link

Would've extended the (already edited) sequence to cap off with:

eat shit

― Left, Saturday, April 24, 2021 1:34 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

fuck men

― Left, Saturday, April 24, 2021 1:34 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

avatar of a kind of respectability homosexual culture (Eric H.), Saturday, 24 April 2021 21:49 (one week ago) link

(Re Bill and Melinda Gates divorce)

Their press release states that they will continue to run it together, so it seems probable that it will keep the name.

― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Tuesday, May 4, 2021 8:38 AM bookmarkflaglink

who gets which hemisphere

― intern at pepe le pew research (Simon H.), Tuesday, May 4, 2021 8:47 AM bookmarkflaglink

which hemisphere
Wait, what are we talking about exactly?

― pomenitul, Tuesday, May 4, 2021 8:51 AM bookmarkflaglink

Kennedy's brain

― maf you one two (maffew12), Tuesday, May 4, 2021 8:53 AM bookmarkflaglink

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 00:39 (three days ago) link

Do we need a 'bands whose names are probably references to semen' thread? I think we almost certainly do.

― You Can't Have the Woogie Without a Little Boogie (Old Lunch), Friday, 30 April 2021 16:09 (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

the jizz is on mary chain

― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 30 April 2021 16:11 (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

flagpost fucking (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 01:25 (three days ago) link

My mum always says stupid is as stupid does

― Pinefox reviews Reviews (wins), Tuesday, May 4, 2021 4:56 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

She’s a fucking dimwit though

― Pinefox reviews Reviews (wins), Tuesday, May 4, 2021 4:56 AM (six hours ago)

rob, Tuesday, 4 May 2021 15:17 (three days ago) link

I LOLed.

Authoritarian Steaks (Tom D.), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 15:43 (three days ago) link

I thought that was the pinefox at first. It would have been out of character, to say the least.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 4 May 2021 15:49 (three days ago) link

That’s the downside of parody screen names, innocent posters get associated with my orrible posts

Pinefox reviews Reviews (wins), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 18:00 (three days ago) link

Life is like a box of chocolates: figuring out what's what requires a bit of reading

rob, Tuesday, 4 May 2021 20:17 (three days ago) link

Dru Tat...

Mark G, Tuesday, 4 May 2021 20:42 (three days ago) link

1. Growlin' Dog
2. Rockin' Rock
3. The Eternity of Always
4. Stairway to Tears of Rain in Heaven
5. Hallucination Mountain
6. Drummin' Sticks
7. Headed for a Location
8. When the Water Floods

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive)

"The Pus/Worm" by The Smiths (hardcore dilettante), Thursday, 6 May 2021 10:02 (yesterday) link


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