I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

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I would rather not go
Back to the old lols
I would rather not go
Back to the old lols
There's too many bad parodies
Too many parodies there

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Wednesday, October 28, 2020 2:35 PM (one hour ago)

sarahell, Wednesday, 28 October 2020 23:11 (one month ago) link

i'm certain this one is good

The Beige of Dadz (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 28 October 2020 23:13 (one month ago) link

Lols and zings are on your side

Anaïs Ninja (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 29 October 2020 00:37 (four weeks ago) link

but snide is on mine

assert (MatthewK), Thursday, 29 October 2020 06:24 (four weeks ago) link

how you took a child, and you made him LOL

The Wealth Dad $ |_/ (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 29 October 2020 18:54 (four weeks ago) link

tonight i'm going to lol you tonight

Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Thursday, 29 October 2020 18:56 (four weeks ago) link

Personally I'm a three wolf moon voter.

Also today I learned Glenn Greenwald's middle name

― Anaïs Ninja (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, October 29, 2020 4:41 PM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

is it Gary

― frogbs, Thursday, October 29, 2020 4:41 PM (three minutes ago

Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 29 October 2020 20:45 (four weeks ago) link

osamathumbsup.jpg

A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 29 October 2020 21:16 (four weeks ago) link

lol

imago, Thursday, 29 October 2020 21:18 (four weeks ago) link

always be clinking

sarahell, Friday, 30 October 2020 00:02 (four weeks ago) link

vg+

Mark G, Saturday, 31 October 2020 09:51 (four weeks ago) link

https://i.ibb.co/2q03wGH/Screen-Shot-2020-10-31-at-10-11-21.png

imago, Saturday, 31 October 2020 11:55 (four weeks ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU

big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:02 (four weeks ago) link

I had to

imago, Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:13 (four weeks ago) link

Also breaking the law by posting something funny in the excelsior thread

big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:31 (four weeks ago) link

Tier 1 is "very important to let it spread", so, let it spread.

A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:40 (four weeks ago) link

Haven’t you heard, there are no more tiers. That’s Johnson baby

Gab B. Nebsit (wins), Saturday, 31 October 2020 13:34 (four weeks ago) link

isn't Johnson also the manufacturer of Toilet Duck?

sarahell, Saturday, 31 October 2020 18:50 (four weeks ago) link

Toilet Duct.

Young Boys of Bernie (Tom D.), Saturday, 31 October 2020 18:58 (four weeks ago) link

S C Johnson, a family company actually.

big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 October 2020 19:28 (four weeks ago) link

Man why don't y'all cool out, listen to some Teddy Ruxpin

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, October 31, 2020 5:30 PM (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I hereby give this EXCELSIOR AWARD for the POSTING OF A FUNNY COMMENT to ilx poster: NEAMBERTHAL! good job, dude

the burrito that defined a generation, Sunday, 1 November 2020 00:38 (three weeks ago) link

This is like luriqua posting after a stint at the Betty Ford clinic

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, October 31, 2020 6:59 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

drug addiction LOL! Neanberthal is ON FIRE tonight! wink.PNG

the burrito that defined a generation, Sunday, 1 November 2020 02:01 (three weeks ago) link

Loved this, good striking imagery too

cointelamateur (m bison)
Posted: 1 November 2020 at 22:54:19
like this is some poochie had to go back to his home planet levels of public embarrassment, you just need to hang it the fuck up, get a yurt somewhere and figure some shit out

liberté, égalité, scampé (gyac), Sunday, 1 November 2020 23:27 (three weeks ago) link

Guayaquil (eephus!)
Posted: November 1, 2020 at 6:44:21 PM
If Trump wins again Marcus can write a book called DIPSHIT RACIST: A SECRET HISTORY OF THE 21st CENTURY

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Monday, 2 November 2020 15:50 (three weeks ago) link

lmao

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 2 November 2020 15:53 (three weeks ago) link

If Osama Bin Laden had an “R” next to his name he’d get 35-40 pct of the vote I reckon

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:12 (thirty-four minutes ago) link

He loves guns and believes in the church

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:12 (thirty-three minutes ago) link

...

unfortunately his name does rhyme with "obama"

― it bangs for thee (Simon H.), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:18 (twenty-eight minutes ago)

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:49 (three weeks ago) link

vg+

Mark G, Thursday, 5 November 2020 07:59 (three weeks ago) link

this bump

Life Without Buildings

and then ufo's coup de grace

imago, Thursday, 5 November 2020 12:27 (three weeks ago) link

lol

treeship., Thursday, 5 November 2020 12:40 (three weeks ago) link

Why is there a karaoke version of Juno?!

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 5 November 2020 12:41 (three weeks ago) link

Lol This reads like part of a Star Wars film opening crawl:
(via CNN)

“ Entrenched at the White House with no public events on his schedule, Trump has personally dispatched advisers to battlegrounds across the country hoping to wage legal battle in places where the margins remain tight. Despite skepticism about the efficacy of his strategy, Trump has remained intent on waging a prolonged fight, viewing it as his only option.”

― SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:52 AM (six minutes ago)

lol

― Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:53 AM (six minutes ago)

he's gonna make the best deal between the trade federation and naboo

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:58 AM (one minute ago)

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:00 (three weeks ago) link

was just coming here for that reason

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:05 (three weeks ago) link

omg @ that Life Without Buildings mashup, wow

flamboyant goon tie included, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:07 (three weeks ago) link

Okay so I shared a screenshot of Jay Vee's post on Twitter and someone ran with it

https://starwarsintrocreator.kassellabs.io/#!/CMLP0f7hYvBSBqWj_Xwu

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:15 (three weeks ago) link

lol

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:17 (three weeks ago) link

the pan down to the incomplete Death Star is *chef's kiss*

DJP, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:24 (three weeks ago) link

"You have failed me for the last time, Parscale!"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:25 (three weeks ago) link

star wars

Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Thursday, 5 November 2020 20:26 (three weeks ago) link

it's a bit early in the week for SNL, no?

imago, Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:09 (three weeks ago) link

SNL = Starwars No Lol ?

sarahell, Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:09 (three weeks ago) link

Some nerd laughs

Young Boys of Bernie (Tom D.), Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:10 (three weeks ago) link

secondhand Ned lark

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:12 (three weeks ago) link

let me have this

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:12 (three weeks ago) link

Sh@kedown Needs Lolz

sarahell, Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:13 (three weeks ago) link

I do!

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:13 (three weeks ago) link

lol ok fine

imago, Thursday, 5 November 2020 21:21 (three weeks ago) link

epistantophus
Posted: November 5, 2020 at 7:27:57 PM

_I feel like this is a Twilight Zone ep where we keep being told moer voets, and moer voets are coming, and the voets never come, and nobody ever wins, and nobody ever loses, and we are perennially in this election forever as time becomes a loop_

Every day they will count exactly half the remaining votes.

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Friday, 6 November 2020 02:48 (three weeks ago) link

But the follow-up is key:

Every day they will count exactly half the remaining votes.

― epistantophus

trump, putting the zeno in xenophobia

― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine)

didgeridon't (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 6 November 2020 02:56 (three weeks ago) link

Haha I was just copying that and getting ready to paste it but I’m too slow on my phone.

epistantophus, Friday, 6 November 2020 02:58 (three weeks ago) link

Follow-up was a fucking masterstroke, well done katherine!

The little engine that choogled (hardcore dilettante), Friday, 6 November 2020 03:12 (three weeks ago) link

Lol yea

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 November 2020 00:18 (two weeks ago) link

neutral zone infraction

The Beige of Dadz (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 13 November 2020 04:20 (two weeks ago) link

77 lulz

A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Friday, 13 November 2020 08:49 (two weeks ago) link

Lost one election and it turned all his hair gray.

― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, November 13, 2020 4:04 PM (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

his pubes all fell out too

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Friday, November 13, 2020 4:05 PM (seventeen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Dan I., Friday, 13 November 2020 22:24 (two weeks ago) link

when pressed for comment, Wolf only replied "I will treat you well, my sweet angel, so help me Jesus"

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Friday, November 13, 2020 4:14 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Motherfuck you are funny, Neanderthal.

healthy cocaine off perfect butts (the table is the table), Saturday, 14 November 2020 00:23 (two weeks ago) link

wkiw Neanderthal

epistantophus, Sunday, 15 November 2020 01:15 (one week ago) link

this reduced me to tears

raccoons are filthy trash eaters by nature though, that is the way God made them. it's better they eat fresh hotdogs and disease-free grapes from the hand of a kindly old man than get their garbage foods from dumpsters full of hypodermic needles and used condoms like they normally do
― the burrito that defined a generation, Friday, 13 November 2020 2:21 PM (three days ago)

we have a couple racoons nearby but make sure the condoms they eat are unused
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 13 November 2020 2:28 PM (three days ago)

city raccoons need all the nutrition they can get though. maybe just empty the useds into a saucer and set it out for them a few nights a year as a special treat, on holidays or whatever
― the burrito that defined a generation, Friday, 13 November 2020 2:34 PM (three days ago)

Good idea I really hadn't though of that, but what are what my cats going to eat now?
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 13 November 2020 2:41 PM (three days ago)

gonna sound like a broken record here but I've found pretty much all animals can and will eat human cum if given the opportunity
― the burrito that defined a generation, Friday, 13 November 2020 2:49 PM (three days ago)

Fine but you’re talking like I live in some kind of cum factory.
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 13 November 2020 2:53 PM (three days ago)

perhaps a cum factory lives in you
― it bangs for thee (Simon H.), Friday, 13 November 2020 2:55 PM (three days ago)

listen I feel like this thread has maybe gotten too personal? I'd like to just focus on the raccoons
― the burrito that defined a generation, Friday, 13 November 2020 2:58 PM (three days ago)

xp That's what my dad told me as a boy. I guess I just stopped believing.
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 13 November 2020 2:58 PM (three days ago)

assert (MatthewK), Monday, 16 November 2020 03:49 (one week ago) link

i am sometimes reduced to tears by human cum

sarahell, Monday, 16 November 2020 04:49 (one week ago) link

-Leonard Cohen

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 November 2020 04:52 (one week ago) link

- Journey, surely

Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Monday, 16 November 2020 05:23 (one week ago) link

Don't stop excretin'

Ned Raggett, Monday, 16 November 2020 05:46 (one week ago) link

Hold on to that semen

Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Monday, 16 November 2020 05:48 (one week ago) link

Stories Of The Skeet

Evan, Monday, 16 November 2020 05:56 (one week ago) link

So now I come to you with jizz in a box
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am, with jizz in a box
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
penis tears

sarahell, Monday, 16 November 2020 06:04 (one week ago) link

Lovin' Touchin' Jizzin'

"what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 16 November 2020 06:30 (one week ago) link

When the pants
Go down
In the citay

coupvfefe (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 16 November 2020 11:39 (one week ago) link

Gentrification is when the tacos cost more than the heroin

― is right unfortunately (silby), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 22:52 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

spruce springclean (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 November 2020 16:22 (one week ago) link

lol, truthbomb, and implied striking imagery

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 19 November 2020 16:24 (one week ago) link

the ilx hat-trick

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 19 November 2020 16:25 (one week ago) link

omg silby

howls of non-specificity (sleeve), Thursday, 19 November 2020 16:26 (one week ago) link

i mean seriously put that on a billboard in the mission

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 19 November 2020 16:27 (one week ago) link

I calls em as I sees em

is right unfortunately (silby), Thursday, 19 November 2020 16:30 (one week ago) link

A+

pomenitul, Thursday, 19 November 2020 17:00 (one week ago) link

grand work

imago, Thursday, 19 November 2020 17:23 (one week ago) link

somebody get the narcos
somebody spark the blunt
let's start the Tacos off at episode one

foopin posts and pissin shits (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 19 November 2020 17:29 (one week ago) link

in awe

assert (MatthewK), Thursday, 19 November 2020 19:15 (one week ago) link

Honestly didn’t think I was being that witty, table table set it up I was just using ingredients

is right unfortunately (silby), Thursday, 19 November 2020 19:28 (one week ago) link

it's ok, "Blowin' In The Wind" was written in < 10 mins

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 19 November 2020 19:30 (one week ago) link

Ftr, I thought it was very funny, and made my own sly little joke about Philly right after.

healthy cocaine off perfect butts (the table is the table), Thursday, 19 November 2020 23:08 (one week ago) link

ie- it's definitely a city where one can eat at one of the better restaurants in the US and then go buy heroin off some dude in a trap house two blocks away.

healthy cocaine off perfect butts (the table is the table), Thursday, 19 November 2020 23:10 (one week ago) link

that must do wonders for its walkability score!

sarahell, Friday, 20 November 2020 01:14 (one week ago) link

Ideally we'd get an idea as to whether the heroin was also decent tbh

spruce springclean (darraghmac), Friday, 20 November 2020 01:16 (one week ago) link

Artisanal, farm-to-table, organic heroin

coupvfefe (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 20 November 2020 01:45 (one week ago) link

my neighbor gets her heroin delivered. not contactless delivery though.

superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 20 November 2020 01:50 (one week ago) link

I opt for pick-up, at the local Subway

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Friday, 20 November 2020 01:51 (one week ago) link

this all feels a bit too much like a reverse foxworthy

foopin posts and pissin shits (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 20 November 2020 02:45 (one week ago) link

"If you carry two boxes of Narcan marked 'A.M.' and 'P.M.' in your pickup truck, then you might possibly be..."

pplains, Friday, 20 November 2020 02:55 (one week ago) link

I've been thinking about that silby line for the last two days

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 21 November 2020 05:03 (one week ago) link

Make sure to cite me if you write a thinkpiece based on it.

is right unfortunately (silby), Saturday, 21 November 2020 05:07 (one week ago) link

maybe man alive is just hungry

Evan, Saturday, 21 November 2020 05:10 (one week ago) link

or maybe I'm jonesing

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 21 November 2020 05:11 (one week ago) link

Keeping up with the jonesings rly

spruce springclean (darraghmac), Saturday, 21 November 2020 12:36 (one week ago) link

Isn’t that Jones & Co, the fusion restaurant near the old dockyards?

assert (MatthewK), Saturday, 21 November 2020 17:42 (one week ago) link

Gop Will Eat Itself.

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Sunday, November 22, 2020 9:20 PM bookmarkflaglink

DJP, Monday, 23 November 2020 14:38 (five days ago) link

GOP Will Eat Itself Cure For Hannity

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 23 November 2020 14:39 (five days ago) link

Just want to point out I posted that particular play on words three years ago but I will give Trayce the win because she's not the one who everyone has killfiled.

You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Monday, 23 November 2020 15:06 (five days ago) link

okay imago, I mean Old Lunch

DJP, Monday, 23 November 2020 15:08 (five days ago) link

lol

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Monday, 23 November 2020 15:16 (five days ago) link

TBH I did think when I posted it "I'm preeety sure someone's said this before? eh oh well"

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 23 November 2020 23:11 (five days ago) link

Now we've got mink zombies to deal with.

― ILXceptionalism (Tom D.), Thursday, November 26, 2020 4:27 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

i believe you’ll find they prefer the term “nosfurrati”

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, November 26, 2020 4:30 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

(xp) Nosferretu surely?

― ILXceptionalism (Tom D.), Thursday, November 26, 2020 4:38 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

well if you’re using the singular

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand)

gabbnebulous (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 26 November 2020 11:40 (two days ago) link


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