I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

I would rather not go
Back to the old lols
I would rather not go
Back to the old lols
There's too many bad parodies
Too many parodies there

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Wednesday, October 28, 2020 2:35 PM (one hour ago)

i'm certain this one is good

Lols and zings are on your side

but snide is on mine

how you took a child, and you made him LOL

tonight i'm going to lol you tonight

Personally I'm a three wolf moon voter.

Also today I learned Glenn Greenwald's middle name

― Anaïs Ninja (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, October 29, 2020 4:41 PM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

is it Gary

― frogbs, Thursday, October 29, 2020 4:41 PM (three minutes ago

osamathumbsup.jpg

lol

always be clinking

vg+

https://i.ibb.co/2q03wGH/Screen-Shot-2020-10-31-at-10-11-21.png

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU

I had to

Also breaking the law by posting something funny in the excelsior thread

Tier 1 is "very important to let it spread", so, let it spread.

Haven’t you heard, there are no more tiers. That’s Johnson baby

isn't Johnson also the manufacturer of Toilet Duck?

Toilet Duct.

S C Johnson, a family company actually.

Man why don't y'all cool out, listen to some Teddy Ruxpin

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, October 31, 2020 5:30 PM (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I hereby give this EXCELSIOR AWARD for the POSTING OF A FUNNY COMMENT to ilx poster: NEAMBERTHAL! good job, dude

This is like luriqua posting after a stint at the Betty Ford clinic

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, October 31, 2020 6:59 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

drug addiction LOL! Neanberthal is ON FIRE tonight! wink.PNG

Loved this, good striking imagery too

cointelamateur (m bison)
Posted: 1 November 2020 at 22:54:19
like this is some poochie had to go back to his home planet levels of public embarrassment, you just need to hang it the fuck up, get a yurt somewhere and figure some shit out

Guayaquil (eephus!)
Posted: November 1, 2020 at 6:44:21 PM
If Trump wins again Marcus can write a book called DIPSHIT RACIST: A SECRET HISTORY OF THE 21st CENTURY

lmao

If Osama Bin Laden had an “R” next to his name he’d get 35-40 pct of the vote I reckon

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:12 (thirty-four minutes ago) link

He loves guns and believes in the church

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:12 (thirty-three minutes ago) link

...

unfortunately his name does rhyme with "obama"

― it bangs for thee (Simon H.), Wednesday, 4 November 2020 12:18 (twenty-eight minutes ago)

vg+

this bump

Life Without Buildings

and then ufo's coup de grace

lol

Why is there a karaoke version of Juno?!

Lol This reads like part of a Star Wars film opening crawl:
(via CNN)

“ Entrenched at the White House with no public events on his schedule, Trump has personally dispatched advisers to battlegrounds across the country hoping to wage legal battle in places where the margins remain tight. Despite skepticism about the efficacy of his strategy, Trump has remained intent on waging a prolonged fight, viewing it as his only option.”

― SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:52 AM (six minutes ago)

lol

― Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:53 AM (six minutes ago)

he's gonna make the best deal between the trade federation and naboo

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, November 5, 2020 11:58 AM (one minute ago)

was just coming here for that reason

omg @ that Life Without Buildings mashup, wow

Okay so I shared a screenshot of Jay Vee's post on Twitter and someone ran with it

https://starwarsintrocreator.kassellabs.io/#!/CMLP0f7hYvBSBqWj_Xwu

lol

the pan down to the incomplete Death Star is *chef's kiss*

"You have failed me for the last time, Parscale!"

star wars

it's a bit early in the week for SNL, no?

SNL = Starwars No Lol ?

Some nerd laughs

secondhand Ned lark

let me have this

Sh@kedown Needs Lolz

I do!

lol ok fine

epistantophus
Posted: November 5, 2020 at 7:27:57 PM

_I feel like this is a Twilight Zone ep where we keep being told moer voets, and moer voets are coming, and the voets never come, and nobody ever wins, and nobody ever loses, and we are perennially in this election forever as time becomes a loop_

Every day they will count exactly half the remaining votes.

But the follow-up is key:

Every day they will count exactly half the remaining votes.

― epistantophus

trump, putting the zeno in xenophobia

― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine)

Haha I was just copying that and getting ready to paste it but I’m too slow on my phone.

Follow-up was a fucking masterstroke, well done katherine!

'har dee r' would have been better

'har d r' if we're being even pickier, which we should be

guys, it's a miss

https://i.gifer.com/origin/02/02fc4313db56a52ca220b2337fcbf303.gif

better for punning "hardy har har"?

guys, it's a miss

everyone's a critic

It’s not the consumer’s fault that artists don’t get paid well. It’s not the consumer’s fault that Spotify charges so little. It’s not the consumer’s fault that major labels didn’t negotiate better terms with streamers, nor that they don’t offer better terms to their artists.
― sctttnnnt (pgwp)

Is that honestly the way you see yourself as a consumer? Helpless?
― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open)

I don't associate "Helpless" with Spotify anymore.
― deep luminous trombone (Eazy)

It does not strictly work, therefore I cannot lol

it's a neil young hit, you must acquit

the quibble and the damage done

"Helpless" would've been a tricky one even back in the Napster days.

[Re: Tom Brady]

i want him go go away, but i also might want him to stay and shit on adam schefter constantly

― mookieproof, Saturday, January 29, 2022 10:03 PM bookmarkflaglink

sounds like you're looking for an only fans

― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Saturday, January 29, 2022 10:40 PM bookmarkflaglink

hahahaha

feed me with your chips (zchyrs)
Posted: 16 February 2022 at 21:58:59

"I felt a great disturbance in The Vibe, as if millions of tastemakers suddenly cried out in boredom, and were suddenly silenced"

Has Latvia left NATO and no-one told me?

― Blu Ray Davies (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 February 2022 21:51 (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

knocked out in the qualifiers

― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Thursday, 24 February 2022 21:54 (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

VAR is hell.

― Blu Ray Davies (Tom D.), Thursday, 24 February 2022 21:54 (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

As of March 1, GMG Union is officially on strike. We're asking people not to click on—or contribute content to—@Gizmodo, @Jalopnik, @Jezebel, @Kotaku, @Lifehacker, and @TheRoot.

Learn more about our fight for a fair contract with @GOMediaInc: https://t.co/xX0476MfI4
— GMG Union (@gmgunion) March 1, 2022

― jbn, Tuesday, March 1, 2022 11:40 AM bookmarkflaglink

No prob.

― peace, man, Tuesday, March 1, 2022 11:48 AM bookmarkflaglink

time for a new thread ?

― conrad, Thursday, 3 March 2022 12:55 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

"time for new threads" - MPs collecting their forced payrise

― nashwan, Thursday, 3 March 2022 13:19 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Time for new Threads (TV Movie, 1984).

― Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Thursday, 3 March 2022 13:31 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

*Reading about nuclear war in my newspaper 12 hours after it started over my morning coffee and bowl of Cornflakes*

Sounds bad..

― xyzzzz__, Friday, March 4, 2022 3:04 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Snap, crackle and pop indeed.

― Resident Papist (Tom D.), Friday, March 4, 2022 3:07 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

they're after me nuclear arms

― rob, Friday, March 4, 2022 3:09 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

muesli assured destruction

― wins, Friday, March 4, 2022 3:12 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

sure but it's tricky to treat sitcom characters this way

― frogbs, Tuesday, 8 March 2022 18:28 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

no it isnt, its fake and we can literaly make shit up

― class project pat (m bison), Tuesday, 8 March 2022 18:59 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I dunno I have this weird habit of thinking other people exist

― Nordle (Noodle Vague), Sunday, March 13, 2022 9:35 AM (forty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I don't have this problem

Every time there's an ILX beef I look in like "why are my Sims fighting"

― flow, my crimson tears (flamboyant goon tie included), Sunday, March 13, 2022 9:40 AM (forty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I went to tbe Laurie Anderson exhibit

Today I learned that the original Adina Howard version of “Freak Like Me” has an uncensored version where she uses an expletive instead of saying “I need a roughneck brother that can satisfy me.” And I learned this in about the most embarrassing way possible. Thanks a lot, Alexa!

Kidz Bop has gone too far

― Otto Insurance (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, March 17, 2022 4:15 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Ignore stray first line

― Otto Insurance (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, March 17, 2022 4:22 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

o superman
o freak like me
o ruffneck person that can satisfy me just for me

― celebrating ten years of constant posting (breastcrawl), Thursday, March 17, 2022 5:13 PM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Excellent

the arguable climax of "drive my car" is entirely in sign language, just give the dang oscar to "drive my car"!

― na (NA), Monday, March 28, 2022 9:36 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

ppl who know sign language have legitimate complaints about drive my car

― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Monday, March 28, 2022 9:37 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

oh, what are they?

― na (NA), Monday, March 28, 2022 9:53 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

It's 3 hours long, it's slow, no superheroes...

― Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Monday, March 28, 2022 10:13 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

This woman was brought to tears over the mere sight of Elon Musk. Psychotic. pic.twitter.com/WqMMbVHEGx

— Matt Saincome (@MattSaincome) April 8, 2022

― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Friday, April 8, 2022 2:10 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

he's the fifth Beatle

― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, April 8, 2022 2:46 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

more like the filth butthole

― Toxoplasmosis Jones (cat), Friday, April 8, 2022 5:24 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

The whole quote is funny:

I don't have a project. I have nothing at Cannes. It's unfortunate. It got built up that people thought, "Oh, that'd be nice." But there is something new, but it's not mine. I don't know whose it is. They say there's something new at Cannes, and they don't say whose it is, and some people thought it was my film, but it's not. So we'll wait and see, and see whose it is.

― gop on ya gingrich (wins), Wednesday, April 13, 2022 5:26 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Someone pointed out to me that it's all too easy to read that in Trump voice.

― Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Wednesday, April 13, 2022 9:24 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

ha

― Ste, Wednesday, April 13, 2022 10:51 AM (fifty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

So much Palme d’Or winning

― Alba, Wednesday, April 13, 2022 10:56 AM (forty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

True of lynch quotes in general

― gop on ya gingrich (wins), Wednesday, April 13, 2022 11:06 AM (thirty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

"A lot of people are asking me, 'whats going on behind Winkies?' They're saying 'we dont wanna go to Winkies, we're scared of Winkies, we had a dream about Winkies'. We're gonna get in there and we're gonna figure out whats back there, is it a man or a woman or a monster or whatever it is and get it out of there and we'll all have a beautiful time at Winkies again."

― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Wednesday, April 13, 2022 11:41 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

From WIZARD OF OZ AND PINK FLOYD

Fools. The REAL payoff is synchronizing George Cukor's A Star Is Born and Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks.

― birdistheword, Friday, June 10, 2022 10:26 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Used to be a place in town that would screen Nosferatu to Kid A... apparently lots of cool sync moments...

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Friday, June 10, 2022 11:26 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

If you put on Achilles Last Stand when they enter the corridor to the Wizard’s chamber

― calstars, Friday, June 10, 2022 11:48 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

hardcore ppl sync Annie with Queensyche’s Operation Mindcrime

― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, June 10, 2022 11:51 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

yes, yes, i know, the wizard of oz stars judy garland and dark side of the moon has a rainbow on the cover. like don't get me wrong pink floyd rules and all but dark side of the moon isn't even _that_ queer. have you tried maybe, like, an ethel cain album or something?

― Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, June 11, 2022 12:26 AM (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

I wonder if he is going to try to retroactively declare Mar- a - Lago as a presidential library and claim anyone could have made an appointment to see the “nuclear”.

― Mar - a - Lago, or 120 Days of Sodom (Boring, Maryland), Friday, August 12, 2022 10:50 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

opening a library in Florida is also a felony though

― rob, Friday, August 12, 2022 10:59 AM (fifty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

howled at that one

feel like Trump's passports getting seized is a pretty big deal

― frogbs, Monday, August 15, 2022 8:20 PM (yesterday)

to say nothing of his apes

― nashwan, Monday, August 15, 2022 8:25 PM (yesterday)

One of them is 100% straight up conservative, one claims to be liberal and seems to be on some issues but really haaaates masks and the third is just a weirdo who comments on everything and I can't figure out their actual position on anything at all.

― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, October 3, 2022 12:09 PM (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

"Tonight on Crossfire"

― Ned Raggett, Monday, October 3, 2022 12:09 PM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I’m not a fan of Bukowski’s misogyny but like many other awful people I find a lot of his work compelling.

― omar little, Thursday, October 20, 2022 10:56 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

You're probably not that awful, omar.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, October 20, 2022 11:12 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

aww

lol

president richard nixon's head gets stuff done, dammit
― comedy khadafi (voodoo chili), Thursday, November 3, 2022 9:26 AM (eighteen minutes ago)

gross
― stank viola (Neanderthal), Thursday, November 3, 2022 9:26 AM (eighteen minutes ago)

Topical humor:

I was previously unfamiliar with the term "standup" in this context, and thought you were talking about a comedian doing a routine on a stage while sacked employees carried their boxes out.

― link.exposing.politically (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, November 6, 2022

What is the deal with layoffs?

― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal)

Better to be laid off by Elon than laid on by him, amirite? *rimshot*

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra)

I'll be here all week folks! oh hang on

― link.exposing.politically (Camaraderie at Arms Length)

It's over

https://amandapalmer.net/posts/a-joint-statement-from-me-and-neil/

― zeuhl's forgotten man (Matt #2), Sunday, November 6, 2022 1:22 AM

if they couldn't make it work, who could?

― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Sunday, November 6, 2022 1:26 AM

did they ever try to monetize couples therapy?

― sarahell, Sunday, November 6, 2022 1:49 AM

I assumed this happened already, didn’t they literally stop living in the same country

― after several days on “the milk,” (gyac), Sunday, November 6, 2022 1:49 AM

lmao

― buzza, Sunday, November 6, 2022 1:52 AM

I guess they just grifted apart

― Wiggum Dorma (wins), Sunday, November 6, 2022 2:09 AM

That was great

OMG

wins for the win!

From Every huge artist has their "New Jersey" - a huge event album that ultimately feels a bit hollow & signals a career decline

And here I thought this bump would be someone already making the case for Midnights.

― MarkoP, Tuesday, November 8, 2022 10:31 AM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

New Jersey (Taylor's Version)

― “uhh”—like, this is an insane oatmeal raisin cookie “uhh” (President Keyes), Tuesday, November 8, 2022 10:39 AM (seventeen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I lolled (the bold is my doing)

linkedin help me break my addiction to twitter - after i limited my twitter usage any time i feel the need to plug in to a stream of updates i'll go to linkedin, read a few posts, and then close the tab (easily, without friction)

linkedin is kinda like methadone for social media

― 龜, Tuesday, November 8, 2022

I know of another man from Nazareth who died…for our sins.

― Lord Pickles (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 8 November 2022 19:06 (fifteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah, the drummer.

― Halfway there but for you, Tuesday, 8 November 2022 19:07 (fourteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

my top gun handle would be "pipsqueak"

― President of Destiny Encounters International (Karl Malone), Monday, 20 February 2023 03:16 (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

*pipsqueak's plane is the very first to go down in battle*

"goddammit pipsqueak! you little...you little...ya shrimp. ya pipsqueak, i loved ya, i did. you little tiny asshole rookie. ya beanpole. ya thin mint, i hated you so much, you small man. ya lil guy. ya lil pipsqueak i'm so sorry"

― President of Destiny Encounters International (Karl Malone), Monday, 20 February 2023 03:18 (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

love is like a hard prison wall

― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, March 12, 2023 11:27 AM (one hour ago)

a HIGH prison wall, s'il vous plais!

― J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Sunday, March 12, 2023 1:02 PM (three minutes ago)

yeah ALFRED

― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, March 12, 2023 1:03 PM (two minutes ago)

I'm high now, alright

― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, March 12, 2023 1:05 PM

glad it went that way and not the other

Stick around.

meta-excelsior ^

Looking forward to Aronofsky's Moby Dick, with Brendan Fraser as both Ahab and the whale.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Monday, March 13, 2023 6:17 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Pauly Shore as Ishmael

― INDEPENDENTS DAY BY STEVEN SPILBERG (President Keyes), Monday, March 13, 2023 6:31 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Meryl Streep as Queequeg.

― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, March 13, 2023 6:33 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Call me Weasel

― young sussy (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, March 13, 2023 6:34 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

🚨2 of the suspects have been apprehended 🚨

https://i.imgur.com/sW5TN9e.jpg

above: le garçon du fromage
below: benevolent despot

they frolic with the goats now. shameless beastlings! how dare they look up at me all cute and helpless with their shiny eyes and delicate ears!

― so amazing moments ever. . (cat), Thursday, 16 March 2023 00:36 (sixteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

One ran out of my bathroom the other morning. I tracked it down and smashed it with a small bookshelf I had handy

― calstars, Thursday, 16 March 2023 02:16 (fifteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

they raided Afroman's house and found nothing? these must be some of the worst cops in history

― frogbs, Thursday, March 23, 2023 10:36 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink