Movies where people (literally) play with themselves

hmm...

i guess American Pie

I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star.

I'm a big bright shining star.

Ann Jillian as Ann Jillian in The Ann Jillian Story.

I saw Shortbus where the film starts with a guy literally blowing himself . how arty

Uh Manchurian Candidate for one ... but there are countless movies with people playing chess against themselves or playing solitaire ....

Thread over:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL14D9gmqMM

Bobcat Goldthwait's World's Greatest Dad is about the aftermath of Robin Williams' kid accidentally killing himself while doing some autoerotic asphyxiation (I almost stumbled into an obvious unintended pun there but opted against)

Ingrid Thulin in Bergman's The Silence

All these years later the image of Danny Dyer doing this in Human Traffic still haunts.

Ingrid Thulin in Bergman's The Silence

― Josefa, Monday, October 26, 2020 2:31 PM (fourteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

huh?

the famous 'blender' scene

We have to make sure we're in the right thread here

Oh lmfao nvm ahaha

Also the two young guys in Y tu mamá también

Vince Vaughan in the Psycho remake
De Niro and Depardieu in 1900

Didn't see it but I Love You, Daddy, presumably? Off-camera, at the very least.

is Fassbinder the only director to tug angrily at his soft dick on camera? he goes full frontal in Fox and His Friends but by Germany in Autumn he had put on another 100 pounds and couldn't get it up (I suppose he was talking about a recent terrorist attack--nevertheless...)

Jackie Earle Haley, very disturbingly, in Little Children

Can't forget Bad Lieutenant

Fast Times at Ridgemont High has pretty iconic wankage.

On the distaff side: Natasha Lyonne spends quality time with herself in "Slums of Beverly Hills." There's a rather extended sequence of Margo Stilley being similarly busy in the Michael Winterbottom joint 9 Songs.

Or, um, so I've heard. From, um, a friend.

Oh shit BAD LIEUTENANT that one should be at the top of this thread

"I'VE DONE SO MANY BAD THINGS!!!"

Rudolph Giuliani in Borat 2

https://cokieblume.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/41d1d23e3897c1474305387180ac5a5c.jpg

The beloved American Beauty.

Gaspar Noe in the fire extinguisher scene of Irreversible.

https://andreasbananas.files.wordpress.com/2016/09/y-tu-mama-tambien-pool-scene-o.gif

Mulholland Drive?

There's Something About Mary

Not sure why I put a question mark there except maybe that "play" doesn't quite suggest "furious grim cry wank." xp

Wait...is there another kind of wank that I don't know about?

Beverly D'Angelo in The Sentinel

https://shoutfactory-productionsite.s3.amazonaws.com/system/redactor_assets/pictures/348/sentinel5.jpg

Personal Shopper?

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51UHf7xM9VL._AC_.jpg

Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (1989)

Giuliani doesn't jerk off in Borat 2, I watched it last night. He's definitely expecting *something*, but the "tucking in my shirt" defense actually works mostly bc fucking BORAT storms into the room before the situation can escalate. Giuliani has already "tucked his shirt in" when he takes his hand out and moves to get up--if SBC had waited like another 30 seconds it could've been an actually insane moment on camera. As is, the segment stands simply because of Giuliani's cretinous behavior during the "interview" itself.

However, the character played by Maria Bakalova, does masturbate in Borat 2, and it's a revelatory experience.

Bless the Beasts and the Children has a scene, iirc.

David O Russell's debut, Spanking the Monkey, unsurprisingly.

Also The Cement Garden. For some reason it's always stuck in my head that the director said the props department or special effects or whoever deals with jizz were struggling to get something to be realistic semen, and after an unsuccessful experiments with shampoo etc, the actor playing the boy concerned just said 'look, I'll do myself', disappeared for a while then returned with the goods. I'm not sure that would be held up as a heroic story these days.

The "Eyes Wide Shut" Harvey Keitel method acting on Nicole Kidman's hair story was debunked, but I still believe it.

Amy Adams in Junebug

Heather Graham only half-getting there in Half Magic.

I think Rachel, Rachel with Joanne Woodward has a scene, but I'm not sure that's the movie I'm thinking of.

Ellen Page in Super iirc

Happiness....

Just remembered the four lads in Sympathy for Mr Vengeance

There's this dopey Spanish Romcom called Semana: A Love Story, which about this dork who works at a fertility clinic who secretly steps in to replace the specimen (accidentally destroyed by his supervisor) his crush is using to surrogate for her sterile twin sister.

Kevin Spacey in the shower in American Beauty, alas.

Call Me By Your Name

Youth In Revolt
The To-Do List
Quadrophenia (Jimmy getting busy to the stolen photo proofs)

Four adolescents in a car in Amarcord (1973).