Alone in the Park - it's the Prem 2020-21 thread

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It's about that time, so let the complaints and assessments of who may or may not be ready begin

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 15:26 (three weeks ago) link

and yeah i started because

https://tmssl.akamaized.net/images/foto/normal/fabio-silva-fc-porto-u19-1556117018-21920.jpg

HE'S READY

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 15:28 (three weeks ago) link

https://gmsrp.cachefly.net/images/20/08/15/a7db7b9bdb609c3c2e6f41fd497ead84/320.jpg

He [squints at fax] would be ready if he was allowed to be

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 5 September 2020 15:57 (three weeks ago) link

was looking frwd to messi going to city and having no discernible effect on their performances.

given lfc have run themselves into the ground over the last 2 seasons and have signed a grand total of 2 players over that period, neither of whom are starters, i'm not expecting them to win the league again.

utd since fernandes have been good but can't see ogs being able to add anything extra on top of what the players themselves can do cf. the way he/they shat it in semi finals last season. de gea could throw in 3 by october and still probably not be replaced by henderson.

chelsea should be interesting as a keegan newcastle 2.0 with all those great attackers plus a dire defence and rancid goalie.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:49 (three weeks ago) link

am p stoked for dirtyleeds but not getting ben white from brighton will hinder them, don't rate robin koch that highly

oscar bravo, Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:51 (three weeks ago) link

and having said all that it seems equally possible that i will lose all interest by the start of october as prem post lockdown last season p much bored me even incl lfc winning the bloody thing. cl mini cup was enjoyable though.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:53 (three weeks ago) link

Yeah the excitement of a new season is tempered by how crap lockdown football has been.

Lampard and Solskjaer both good odds not to see the season out I think, Abramovitch has thrown money at the squad so I don't think a battling top 4 finish will be what he's looking for, Solskjaer probably a bit safer but he's not all that and again, will be expected to improve. Odds of Wolves cracking the top 6 tempered by tiredness, squad changes and the aforementioned crapness of empty stadiums, but I expect us to be thereabouts.

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:59 (three weeks ago) link

Liverpool won't romp the league but hard to look beyond them or City for the title.

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:00 (three weeks ago) link

Wolves about to sign an 18 year old Porto forward?

Neanderthal, Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:03 (three weeks ago) link

Record fee for one of the most hyped 18 year-olds in the world, hard not to get a bit excitable

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:05 (three weeks ago) link

Of course their opener is during work hours on a date I'm training. Lol. Three times in a row now.

If YouTube TV lets me record it, maybe.

Neanderthal, Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:08 (three weeks ago) link

Zillionaire John Henry cheaping out on the Red Sox and Liverpool so close to winning championships is lols.

Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:25 (three weeks ago) link

Think I’m gonna root for Leeds this season.

Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:25 (three weeks ago) link

lol please please please do

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:25 (three weeks ago) link

ok i'm not linking to the gutter press but lol Greenwood and Foden are very naughty boys and they should feel bad

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 September 2020 11:54 (two weeks ago) link

I used to think I hated Leeds but at this stage its oddly reassuring, like nu-metal coming back.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 September 2020 12:24 (two weeks ago) link

Mahrez and Laporte have the rona btw.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 September 2020 12:24 (two weeks ago) link

VDB is a good addition for Utd, but based on the evidence of post-lockdown football we'll seriously struggle if we don't get another couple of players

The worrying thing is we don't seem to have any plan for the RW beyond Sancho, despite not having a proper winger there for like five years now

Can see us going for a panic loan on deadline day - possible Douglas Costa or the like - which would be pretty underwhelming

As it stands, I think our first XI is up there with the best in the league but the bench options are absolutely dire and Solskjaer seems to not trust any of them to come on and change a game

In summary, 4th will be about the height of our ambitions

Number None, Monday, 7 September 2020 13:05 (two weeks ago) link

VDB is a good addition for Utd

Not even slightly convinced by this tbf. Would like to be proven wrong but Utd isn't the kindergarten Ajax is. Think he'll have a hard time making his mark.

Monte Scampino (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 8 September 2020 11:33 (two weeks ago) link

Porto is our feeder club now

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 September 2020 11:35 (two weeks ago) link

Think he'll have a hard time making his mark.

He'll get enough games given the state of United's midfield. Then again, could be a Davy Klaassen situation idk.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 12:01 (two weeks ago) link

I rate him higher than Klaassen, VDB's got more talent. I'm just not sure his frivolity will be appreciated/come to fruitition as much as it did at Ajax.

Monte Scampino (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 8 September 2020 12:38 (two weeks ago) link

state of Utd's midfield? It's looking better than it has in years

VDB I see as a depth addition who can sub for a few of our midfielders, while hopefully pushing for a starting spot

Number None, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 13:07 (two weeks ago) link

personally I think our current first XI is a match for anyone in the league

it's when we have to go to the bench that the trouble starts

Number None, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 13:11 (two weeks ago) link

Obviously he's not going to displace or challenge Bruno F but I guess is the aim is to play him behind him during the half a season when Pogba is injured or underperforming.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 13:15 (two weeks ago) link

1) why is he in San Francisco? and 2) I highly doubt it's that big

error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 10 September 2020 15:25 (two weeks ago) link

looks like he has the Golden Touch alright

Number None, Thursday, 10 September 2020 16:12 (two weeks ago) link

i hope my dick get big as the Eiffel tower
so I can fuck the world for 72 hours

Neanderthal, Thursday, 10 September 2020 18:57 (two weeks ago) link

Fulham are very bad

Number None, Saturday, 12 September 2020 12:48 (two weeks ago) link

Damien Delaney’s dream dinner party guests are a trip. pic.twitter.com/MJVgVGwcWZ

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) September 12, 2020

Matt DC, Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:01 (two weeks ago) link

Any amount of money says they made him replace Hitler with Keith Richards.

Matt DC, Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:01 (two weeks ago) link

hitler is going to be furious he didn't get an invite, guy's got a temper

这是我的显示名称 (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:02 (two weeks ago) link

I bet he's read some piss poor history books, especially if he thinks China had a billion plus population since the 50s!

calzino, Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:17 (two weeks ago) link

I thought I'd misheard this, 5 Live lads pissing themselves

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:42 (two weeks ago) link

Solid list tbh, I'd sub out Richards for Andrea Dworkin, it's a bit of a sausage fest and I bet he's a boring bastard

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:44 (two weeks ago) link

Somebody needs to start the non Prem thread so I can lol at Derby

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:50 (two weeks ago) link

I just spent literally five minutes scrolling down the preliminary FA cup fixture list on my phone. It's astonishing so many non-league clubs are still going in the age of cholera.

calzino, Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:58 (two weeks ago) link

Excellent Leeds goal. 1-1 after about ten minutes.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 12 September 2020 16:43 (two weeks ago) link

Awful defending for both teams. Would be 2-2 if Bamford wasn’t a terrible fraud of a player.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 12 September 2020 16:53 (two weeks ago) link

the curse of the post! but still Bamford is shite!

calzino, Saturday, 12 September 2020 17:00 (two weeks ago) link

mo salah with short hair looking hot

oscar bravo, Saturday, 12 September 2020 17:06 (two weeks ago) link

missed the start, was hoping this would be spicy

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 17:13 (two weeks ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSZBIs0gs0E

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 18:06 (two weeks ago) link

Ah 2017 LFC how I've missed you. Actually it turns out that I haven't and have become one of those dullards who values competence over excitement. I blame too much Football Manager. First LFC penalty poor decision imo.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 12 September 2020 20:38 (two weeks ago) link

They don't call it the Poorthorns for nothing

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 September 2020 14:44 (one week ago) link

The gulf in quality and ambition between Leeds and West Brom / Fulham was enormous.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Sunday, 13 September 2020 15:34 (one week ago) link

lol, what a let-off.

Everton deserve to be ahead though.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Sunday, 13 September 2020 15:47 (one week ago) link

One more goal to break the record.

Matt DC, Monday, 21 September 2020 21:04 (five days ago) link

Have faith in Jesus.

Matt DC, Monday, 21 September 2020 21:08 (five days ago) link

at half time i was on the verge of saying i'd take not getting gubbed, which we weren't in the end

still plenty of room for improvement, i'm wondering what our first eleven will look like in a couple of months

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Monday, 21 September 2020 21:11 (five days ago) link

welp at least going forward i'll be able to see the damn games rather than yelling at students.

sad to see we didn't pull off the same magic from last year, but hey....last year we hadn't even won a game until when? lol

LaRusso Auto (Neanderthal), Monday, 21 September 2020 23:23 (five days ago) link

Sent this tweet out to Emiliano Martinez today:

"Bienvenidos a su nuevo hogar, Sr. Martinez. Muchos gracias por ser un miembro de nuestra familia. #UTV #AVFC"

We Live as We Dee, Alone (deethelurker), Tuesday, 22 September 2020 00:26 (four days ago) link

this is on the borderline of unacceptable but fuck it he makes me laugh

Wolves 1-3 Manchester City- Alternative Commentary pic.twitter.com/MbaRSfFixF

— cameron🇵🇹 (@wwfccameron) September 22, 2020

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 22 September 2020 15:35 (four days ago) link

We have someone who does exactly that. Can't lie I do enjoy it. Ours has the voice at about double speed, fitting in much more verbiage and coming off as twice as pissed off

imago, Tuesday, 22 September 2020 15:48 (four days ago) link

Semedo deal finally done, been biting my nails. Next phase is coming together.

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 09:21 (three days ago) link

Moyes has the rona.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 09:56 (three days ago) link

i saw three West Ham lads have tested positive, looks like our game on Saturday might be off

also there's a lot of footballers starting to test positive, i doubt this is specifically cos of football, tho it's surely part of it, but also reflects the situation across the country?

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 10:00 (three days ago) link

more time for us to bring in Douglas Costa tho ffs, my head isn't used to this, i can still remember Gillingham at home

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 10:01 (three days ago) link

Football is testing very heavily and routinely, at the top level at least, so it's probably identifying more asymptomatic carriers than most other areas of society. Moyes and the other players don't appear to be ill (yet).

They're also going through airports a lot.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 10:29 (three days ago) link

Misread that as Diego Costa and tried to ponder it for a while; couldn't lol

xp

Monte Scampino (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 10:31 (three days ago) link

it's probably identifying more asymptomatic carriers than most other areas of society

this is my main thought tho obv there are the other factors involved

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 10:33 (three days ago) link

Is Semedo good?

crisp, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 11:24 (three days ago) link

Barca first teamer, he's quick, strong, good feet. Don't know how many modern full backs are the full package attacking and defending but our system mitigates the defensive side a bit. I've enough trust in our scouting set-up at this point that Nuno sees him as somebody who meets the requirements and i'm absolutely certain he's at least a step up from Doc, and i rated Doc.

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 13:06 (three days ago) link

you may remember him from such games as

"He's just turned Nelson Semedo inside out! An experienced right-back... Whoops!"

Wow, Alphonso Davies is just so difficult to stop 🔥

A magnificent assist from Bayern's rising star at left-back 🙌#Club2020 pic.twitter.com/NCbOrOyaJS

— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) August 14, 2020

Number None, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 13:16 (three days ago) link

i'm aware of the Davies thing but by that rubric Podence just killed De Bruyne's career Monday night

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 13:18 (three days ago) link

anyway, looking forward to watching teams quadruple up on Adama/Semedo

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 13:19 (three days ago) link

I jest

Pretty jealous of any team making signings at the moment tbh!

Number None, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 13:20 (three days ago) link

nah i know :D also Davies is potentially pretty special himself

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 13:21 (three days ago) link

The Premier League and EFL banging the drum about how terrible it is the government won't let them get supporters back in is doing my head in

Like I get that the impact of this on the lower tiers of English football will be catastrophic but fuckin hell read the room lads what did you think was going to happen

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 19:15 (three days ago) link

mostly i've heard Rugby Union dudes moaning who i hate anyway but yeah it's not a good look, instead of demanding to host rona parties they should maybe be asking some more pointed questions about how else the government might stop us ending up with the 44 Club

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 19:21 (three days ago) link

It's is imperative that no public money is spent on "propping" up rugby clubs, they will spend every penny of it on pint glasses which they will then drink piss out of

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 19:23 (three days ago) link

can you believe we have the best looking team in the prem

— liv (@oliviawwfc) September 24, 2020

show me the lie

O tempura! O scampes! (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 September 2020 10:59 (yesterday) link

Looks like Wolves - West Ham to proceed with Moyes managing from home

What if his feed has a delay?

LaRusso Auto (Neanderthal), Saturday, 26 September 2020 02:10 (fourteen hours ago) link

Can only help West Ham

Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 26 September 2020 04:15 (twelve hours ago) link

What will they do without his tormented looks from the touchline or are they going to beam them on Zoom using a big telly?

Matt DC, Saturday, 26 September 2020 09:55 (seven hours ago) link

Is it Solskjaer's last game yet?

Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 26 September 2020 11:10 (five hours ago) link

Odds shortening

Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 26 September 2020 12:09 (four hours ago) link

Always love a Panenka.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 26 September 2020 12:12 (four hours ago) link

Aw poor show

Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 26 September 2020 12:13 (four hours ago) link

This seems like a good game, Brighton are entertaining

Was momentarily outraged by the reversed penalty but Aaron Connolly's Plan A is clearly Fall Over

Utd clearly stung into action by the prospect of ending up with a manager that sometimes shouts at them and asks them to work hard

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:01 (four hours ago) link

Would have been criminal if Brighton hadn’t got a second.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:23 (three hours ago) link

Arse. Can't say Brighton didn't deserve that, though.

The Rampaging Goats of Llandudno (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:24 (three hours ago) link

First time I have ever seen the game restarted after the final whistle.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:27 (three hours ago) link

a real "you are the ref" moment

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:28 (three hours ago) link

that might be the jammiest win i've ever seen

Number None, Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:30 (three hours ago) link

Amazing pen

crisp, Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:30 (three hours ago) link

Y'know, the word "shitshow" is bandied around a lot these days

Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:30 (three hours ago) link

Should have been about 6-2 to Brighton

crisp, Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:30 (three hours ago) link

Thought Trossard was wasteful with that one that hit the bar, was lucky it didn’t fly miles over

crisp, Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:31 (three hours ago) link

Opta saying four is is the record for a single team hitting the woodwork in a match, Brighton hit it five times with Trossard doing three of them

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 26 September 2020 13:31 (three hours ago) link

Another ludicrous handball decision against Palace.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 26 September 2020 14:40 (two hours ago) link

Total bullshit pen to Everton there

crisp, Saturday, 26 September 2020 14:40 (two hours ago) link

Christ's sake. We already had a pointless check and dozens of replays of the first one that hit his arm that obviously wasn't a pen either

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 26 September 2020 14:42 (two hours ago) link

It can’t go on like this. It that’s an unnatural position, you might as well pin defenders’ arms behind their backs.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 26 September 2020 14:43 (two hours ago) link

This is hilarious.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 26 September 2020 16:55 (six minutes ago) link

Amazing.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 26 September 2020 16:57 (three minutes ago) link

You can still get 25-1 on Lampard being the first manager sacked.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 26 September 2020 16:58 (three minutes ago) link


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