Alone in the Park - it's the Prem 2020-21 thread

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It's about that time, so let the complaints and assessments of who may or may not be ready begin

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 15:26 (ten months ago) link

and yeah i started because

https://tmssl.akamaized.net/images/foto/normal/fabio-silva-fc-porto-u19-1556117018-21920.jpg

HE'S READY

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 15:28 (ten months ago) link

https://gmsrp.cachefly.net/images/20/08/15/a7db7b9bdb609c3c2e6f41fd497ead84/320.jpg

He [squints at fax] would be ready if he was allowed to be

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, 5 September 2020 15:57 (ten months ago) link

was looking frwd to messi going to city and having no discernible effect on their performances.

given lfc have run themselves into the ground over the last 2 seasons and have signed a grand total of 2 players over that period, neither of whom are starters, i'm not expecting them to win the league again.

utd since fernandes have been good but can't see ogs being able to add anything extra on top of what the players themselves can do cf. the way he/they shat it in semi finals last season. de gea could throw in 3 by october and still probably not be replaced by henderson.

chelsea should be interesting as a keegan newcastle 2.0 with all those great attackers plus a dire defence and rancid goalie.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:49 (ten months ago) link

am p stoked for dirtyleeds but not getting ben white from brighton will hinder them, don't rate robin koch that highly

oscar bravo, Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:51 (ten months ago) link

and having said all that it seems equally possible that i will lose all interest by the start of october as prem post lockdown last season p much bored me even incl lfc winning the bloody thing. cl mini cup was enjoyable though.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:53 (ten months ago) link

Yeah the excitement of a new season is tempered by how crap lockdown football has been.

Lampard and Solskjaer both good odds not to see the season out I think, Abramovitch has thrown money at the squad so I don't think a battling top 4 finish will be what he's looking for, Solskjaer probably a bit safer but he's not all that and again, will be expected to improve. Odds of Wolves cracking the top 6 tempered by tiredness, squad changes and the aforementioned crapness of empty stadiums, but I expect us to be thereabouts.

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:59 (ten months ago) link

Liverpool won't romp the league but hard to look beyond them or City for the title.

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:00 (ten months ago) link

Wolves about to sign an 18 year old Porto forward?

Neanderthal, Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:03 (ten months ago) link

Record fee for one of the most hyped 18 year-olds in the world, hard not to get a bit excitable

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:05 (ten months ago) link

Of course their opener is during work hours on a date I'm training. Lol. Three times in a row now.

If YouTube TV lets me record it, maybe.

Neanderthal, Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:08 (ten months ago) link

Zillionaire John Henry cheaping out on the Red Sox and Liverpool so close to winning championships is lols.

Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:25 (ten months ago) link

Think I’m gonna root for Leeds this season.

Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:25 (ten months ago) link

lol please please please do

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:25 (ten months ago) link

ok i'm not linking to the gutter press but lol Greenwood and Foden are very naughty boys and they should feel bad

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 September 2020 11:54 (ten months ago) link

I used to think I hated Leeds but at this stage its oddly reassuring, like nu-metal coming back.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 September 2020 12:24 (ten months ago) link

Mahrez and Laporte have the rona btw.

Matt DC, Monday, 7 September 2020 12:24 (ten months ago) link

VDB is a good addition for Utd, but based on the evidence of post-lockdown football we'll seriously struggle if we don't get another couple of players

The worrying thing is we don't seem to have any plan for the RW beyond Sancho, despite not having a proper winger there for like five years now

Can see us going for a panic loan on deadline day - possible Douglas Costa or the like - which would be pretty underwhelming

As it stands, I think our first XI is up there with the best in the league but the bench options are absolutely dire and Solskjaer seems to not trust any of them to come on and change a game

In summary, 4th will be about the height of our ambitions

Number None, Monday, 7 September 2020 13:05 (ten months ago) link

VDB is a good addition for Utd

Not even slightly convinced by this tbf. Would like to be proven wrong but Utd isn't the kindergarten Ajax is. Think he'll have a hard time making his mark.

Monte Scampino (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 8 September 2020 11:33 (ten months ago) link

Porto is our feeder club now

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 September 2020 11:35 (ten months ago) link

Think he'll have a hard time making his mark.

He'll get enough games given the state of United's midfield. Then again, could be a Davy Klaassen situation idk.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 12:01 (ten months ago) link

I rate him higher than Klaassen, VDB's got more talent. I'm just not sure his frivolity will be appreciated/come to fruitition as much as it did at Ajax.

Monte Scampino (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 8 September 2020 12:38 (ten months ago) link

state of Utd's midfield? It's looking better than it has in years

VDB I see as a depth addition who can sub for a few of our midfielders, while hopefully pushing for a starting spot

Number None, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 13:07 (ten months ago) link

personally I think our current first XI is a match for anyone in the league

it's when we have to go to the bench that the trouble starts

Number None, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 13:11 (ten months ago) link

Obviously he's not going to displace or challenge Bruno F but I guess is the aim is to play him behind him during the half a season when Pogba is injured or underperforming.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 8 September 2020 13:15 (ten months ago) link

1) why is he in San Francisco? and 2) I highly doubt it's that big

error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 10 September 2020 15:25 (ten months ago) link

looks like he has the Golden Touch alright

Number None, Thursday, 10 September 2020 16:12 (ten months ago) link

i hope my dick get big as the Eiffel tower
so I can fuck the world for 72 hours

Neanderthal, Thursday, 10 September 2020 18:57 (ten months ago) link

Fulham are very bad

Number None, Saturday, 12 September 2020 12:48 (ten months ago) link

Damien Delaney’s dream dinner party guests are a trip. pic.twitter.com/MJVgVGwcWZ

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) September 12, 2020

Matt DC, Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:01 (ten months ago) link

Any amount of money says they made him replace Hitler with Keith Richards.

Matt DC, Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:01 (ten months ago) link

hitler is going to be furious he didn't get an invite, guy's got a temper

这是我的显示名称 (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:02 (ten months ago) link

I bet he's read some piss poor history books, especially if he thinks China had a billion plus population since the 50s!

calzino, Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:17 (ten months ago) link

I thought I'd misheard this, 5 Live lads pissing themselves

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:42 (ten months ago) link

Solid list tbh, I'd sub out Richards for Andrea Dworkin, it's a bit of a sausage fest and I bet he's a boring bastard

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:44 (ten months ago) link

Somebody needs to start the non Prem thread so I can lol at Derby

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:50 (ten months ago) link

I just spent literally five minutes scrolling down the preliminary FA cup fixture list on my phone. It's astonishing so many non-league clubs are still going in the age of cholera.

calzino, Saturday, 12 September 2020 14:58 (ten months ago) link

Excellent Leeds goal. 1-1 after about ten minutes.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 12 September 2020 16:43 (ten months ago) link

Awful defending for both teams. Would be 2-2 if Bamford wasn’t a terrible fraud of a player.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Saturday, 12 September 2020 16:53 (ten months ago) link

the curse of the post! but still Bamford is shite!

calzino, Saturday, 12 September 2020 17:00 (ten months ago) link

mo salah with short hair looking hot

oscar bravo, Saturday, 12 September 2020 17:06 (ten months ago) link

missed the start, was hoping this would be spicy

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 17:13 (ten months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSZBIs0gs0E

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 September 2020 18:06 (ten months ago) link

Ah 2017 LFC how I've missed you. Actually it turns out that I haven't and have become one of those dullards who values competence over excitement. I blame too much Football Manager. First LFC penalty poor decision imo.

oscar bravo, Saturday, 12 September 2020 20:38 (ten months ago) link

They don't call it the Poorthorns for nothing

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 September 2020 14:44 (ten months ago) link

The gulf in quality and ambition between Leeds and West Brom / Fulham was enormous.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Sunday, 13 September 2020 15:34 (ten months ago) link

lol, what a let-off.

Everton deserve to be ahead though.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Sunday, 13 September 2020 15:47 (ten months ago) link

Tactics are a nonsense if players can just go to the chairman and get you sacked.

He wont have anything to do with who stays or leaves.

Likeability is his best asset.

Im embracing the realities of life under this rotten fucking cunt that runs us.

Eschew things thirty two times before swallowing them (darraghmac), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 19:42 (four weeks ago) link

Xp, Portuguese players like Neves and Podence would be a great addition to the squad. The problem has been that Spurs have taken on Mendes clients that have been a terrible fit.

I was going to say that it will be interesting to see how quickly they are linked with Sergio Oliveira, the player Gattuso was booted from Fiorentina for trying to buy, but they already were on Tuesday.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 19:48 (four weeks ago) link

Sancho to Man U -

The deal includes £5m in add-ons but they have been described as quite difficult to reach.

The mind boggles.
Meanwhile Arsenal have signed Tavares, of "Heaven Must Be Missing A Holding Midfielder" fame.

alan dean impostor (Matt #2), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 20:02 (four weeks ago) link

good luck Nuno

within reason, obv

Take me home, Jordan Rhodes (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 20:42 (four weeks ago) link

Ever Given released

Sign for centre of spurs defence obv

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, 5 July 2021 10:18 (three weeks ago) link

Vacancy: Graphic designer at Burnley FC (£15-20k 🤔)https://t.co/RR6XLNzoQY #mediajobs

— Gary Taphouse (@garytaphouse) July 5, 2021

If I had studied graphic design for 3-4 years I'd apply for a job vacancy in a Burnley cotton mill ahead of one at Burnley fc. Anyway they likely aren't the only offenders but still please finally fuck off to the little leagues where you belong etc...

MoMsnet (calzino), Monday, 5 July 2021 10:49 (three weeks ago) link

That reminds me, I once had an interview for a job with Rangers! Had to go to Ibrox Park and everything. Christ, I'd forgotten all about that. I wouldn't have minded working there tbh but I'd probably have been first out the door when they had all their financial problems.

Are Animated Dads Getting Hotter? (Tom D.), Monday, 5 July 2021 10:57 (three weeks ago) link

the safest employee at a football club is the Kitman, the one at our club was telling people in the bookies he was still getting paid when the club was in administration and facing possible liquidation + the players hadn't been paid for a month. Shite job though!

MoMsnet (calzino), Monday, 5 July 2021 11:09 (three weeks ago) link

Excellent "Coutinho to Wolves" banter on that Twitter tonight

Southgate Serves Imperialism (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 8 July 2021 19:45 (two weeks ago) link

That reminds me, I once had an interview for a job with Rangers! Had to go to Ibrox Park and everything. Christ, I'd forgotten all about that. I wouldn't have minded working there tbh but I'd probably have been first out the door when they had all their financial problems.

― Are Animated Dads Getting Hotter? (Tom D.), Monday, July 5, 2021 3:57 AM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

i applied for a job at the sfa which i was eminently qualified for and didn't even get an interview.

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 8 July 2021 19:59 (two weeks ago) link

Official and confirmed. Rui Patricio joins AS Roma from Wolves on a permanent deal for €11m + add ons. José Sá will be his replacement at Wolverhampton. 🇵🇹 #ASRoma #Wolves

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) July 13, 2021

groovypanda, Wednesday, 14 July 2021 08:59 (two weeks ago) link

Reports in Spain that Spurs have agreed a fee of €30m plus Sanchez for Kounde, and Kounde has said ‘lol, no’.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 12:00 (two weeks ago) link

Levy out

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 13:48 (two weeks ago) link

Ah, love those mooted swap deals

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 14:35 (two weeks ago) link

Perhaps Skipp + £3 million could be the 2021 version of Josh Onomah + £3 million

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 14:46 (two weeks ago) link

Not fuckin likely, skipp is super

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 21:04 (two weeks ago) link

didn't think varane had that good a Euros, but if utd end up with him and Sancho that's not a bad summer.

oscar bravo, Wednesday, 14 July 2021 21:10 (two weeks ago) link

Spurs to get Gollini on a loan/ buy arrangement like Lo Celso apparently.

Will be very interesting to see how long Lloris stays as first choice, if it happens.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Monday, 19 July 2021 21:06 (one week ago) link

Never heard of him but i vote 0 days

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2021 23:04 (one week ago) link

(lloris actually had a strong season imo but a bit is a bit)

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, 19 July 2021 23:04 (one week ago) link

the big story this morning

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-57899127

no names of course, but there is only one 31-year-old who plays for a Manchester-based PL club

A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 10:34 (one week ago) link

Yes but it's an Everton player apparently (and just as easy to work out)

groovypanda, Tuesday, 20 July 2021 10:41 (one week ago) link

an Everton player, living in greater manchester?

A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 10:44 (one week ago) link

So used to play for a Manchester club? OK, got you.

Soundtracked by an eco jazz mixtape. (Tom D.), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 10:50 (one week ago) link

Everton have confirmed that a member of their squad is the subject of inquiries from authorities.

No details have been revealed regarding the player in question or the charges involved.

— Goal News (@GoalNews) July 20, 2021

groovypanda, Tuesday, 20 July 2021 10:54 (one week ago) link

Apparently this broke on the Everton forums last week.

Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 10:57 (one week ago) link

chatter says gylfi

I have no couch and I must stream (NotEnough), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 11:01 (one week ago) link

The other one fits the bill better.

Soundtracked by an eco jazz mixtape. (Tom D.), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 11:02 (one week ago) link

The other one played for Everton on Saturday

groovypanda, Tuesday, 20 July 2021 11:10 (one week ago) link

Welcome to Goodison, Rafa!

Soundtracked by an eco jazz mixtape. (Tom D.), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 11:13 (one week ago) link

chatter says [show hidden text]

― I have no couch and I must stream (NotEnough), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 12:01 (thirty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Innocent until proven

hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 11:40 (one week ago) link

I know next to nothing about Bryan Gil but Spurs are obviously keen if they’ve offered €25m plus Lamela.

Looks disconcerting like an Indie-pop Gary Neville.

https://i.postimg.cc/wv4SVF5v/F4873-E18-6-E8-C-4000-9-EC9-50-C36-ABB06-BE.webp

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 12:02 (one week ago) link

it's Alex Turner in the I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor video, "don't believe the hype" etc.

A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 12:06 (one week ago) link

That’s absolutely correct.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 12:10 (one week ago) link

I heard a rumour that the new Spurs manager would be signing more bald-headed and bearded players if he had more of a say on club transfers

MoMsnet (calzino), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 12:12 (one week ago) link

Bryan Gil a potential star in the making. Not going to go down well in Sevilla that he's being let go. Spurs landing a very, very exciting talent if reports hold true. Still raw and with lots to polish but he's easily top 5 most exciting young talents in Spain.

— David Cartlidge (@davidjaca) July 20, 2021

Truly believe there is only Pedri and Ansu ahead of Bryan Gil as it stands in terms of players in Spain who are young and of potential. He really is *that* good.

— David Cartlidge (@davidjaca) July 20, 2021

cajunsunday, Tuesday, 20 July 2021 12:15 (one week ago) link

Nice to see some Everton content in the Spurs thread. It’s been a while.

Oh.

Michael Jones, Tuesday, 20 July 2021 13:06 (one week ago) link

Ah well.

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Tuesday, 20 July 2021 23:40 (one week ago) link

Wholesome Everton content:

Got a lot of time for Asmir Begovic’s wife announcing his signing by riding round on a horse in an Everton shirt pic.twitter.com/WMMXf6MoFp

— The Toffee Blues (@TheToffeeBlues) July 20, 2021

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Wednesday, 21 July 2021 04:40 (one week ago) link

how old is that horse?

Southgate Serves Imperialism (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 July 2021 08:12 (one week ago) link

Neil Warnock carrying around signed pictures of himself in a bumbag is sensational. https://t.co/CLJfblnpP3

— Andy Ha (@AndyHa_) July 21, 2021

Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Thursday, 22 July 2021 09:44 (six days ago) link

Reports Kane is set for City but also

✍️ We are delighted to announce that Heung-Min Son has signed a new four-year contract with the Club, which will run until 2025.

— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) July 23, 2021

groovypanda, Friday, 23 July 2021 09:10 (five days ago) link

£160m seems a good price, if accurate.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Friday, 23 July 2021 09:45 (five days ago) link

courtesy of the Sun's showbiz reporter apparently

Harry Kane told of his joy at his pending #ManCity move while best man at his brother’s wedding. Elder sibling Charlie is the England captain’s agent and the good news was shared with family and friends at last Sunday’s nuptials.

[@clemmiemoodie / Exclusive] https://t.co/vKGpxbD4RO

— City Xtra (@City_Xtra) July 22, 2021

Number None, Friday, 23 July 2021 09:58 (five days ago) link

£160m seems a good price, if accurate.

Looking forward to us buying the next Soldado, Paulinho and Chiriches

groovypanda, Friday, 23 July 2021 10:17 (five days ago) link

No one player, tbh

I believe less and less in harnessing an entire team to a talent clearly capable and hungry for success far beyond what we can achieve, sell high buy well and move on

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Friday, 23 July 2021 10:59 (five days ago) link

That said the showbiz reporter of the sun is not a here we go level source tbf

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Friday, 23 July 2021 10:59 (five days ago) link

When Man City won their appeal at CAS last summer to have their 2-year CL ban overturned, like most people I thought that would be the end of their FFP tribulations.

A shortish thread.

1/n

— Nick Harris (@sportingintel) July 24, 2021

Ripple or wave?

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Sunday, 25 July 2021 11:22 (three days ago) link

Gracias, agent @sergio_regui 😎

Welcome to Spurs, @11BryanGil! pic.twitter.com/S9782r48eI

— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) July 26, 2021

groovypanda, Monday, 26 July 2021 12:53 (two days ago) link

Looks like Varane to Utd is more or less wrapped up

Add a midfielder and that's a pretty decent summer

Number None, Monday, 26 July 2021 12:58 (two days ago) link


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