al4674
POSTED: 8 August 2014 5:25 am
If Tolkien had writted the Lord of the Rings today, the social justice warriors would probably have a heart attack. All the characters are white, straight, cisgendered and the story is almost entirely based on Northern European culture and mythology. Oh what horrible racism and white supremacy.
Infact I think all LOTR books should be forcibly removed from shelves and re-written in more inclusive and multicultural fashion. Frodo should be replaced with a bisexual Muslim and he should be married to Samwise, a gay African and Merry and Pippin will both be disabled Indians. Aragorn should be a transexual native American, Gimli should be a gender neutral Jew, Legolas will be a feminist Japanese girl and Gandalf a Buddhist monk. The Nazgul already look somewhat like burka wearing Muslim women so they get a pass.
Sauron will now be an evil white man, who wants to keep all the minorities down with his army of neo-nazi orcs. The entire story will revolve around this vibrant fellowship fighting through the neo-nazi orc hoards, with the goal of reaching Mordor and forcing Sauron to check his white privilege, and then eventually turn Mordor into a diverse, multicultural paradise.
I propose that we solve the problem of entitled brats and weak parents by merging the Departments/Ministries of Education with the Department/Ministries of Defence. Put the military in charge of education, in a nutshell. Kids of both/all genders from the age of five would receive the drill element of basic training as their introduction to education. Each class would be drilled by three NCO's of the rank of E-7 or above, one each from the Army, Navy and Air Force. There would be three to make sure no abuse goes on. The three NCO's would only be allowed to communicate to each other on the parade ground and in conferences regarding students. Any other fraternisation between these three NCOs would be tantamount to an ex parte communication and punishable, and the three NCO's would have separate messes according to each service. This discouragement of fraternisation between the three NCO's responsible for the drill and discipline of each class would tend to reduce abuse. (As to why the three NCO's would come from the Army, Navy and Air Force and not from the Marines, that is because advanced countries like Britain, France, America and Russia have Marines but lesser, backwards colonies like Canada do not)
"Abuse" would be narrowly as sexual abuse and malefic corporal punishment. Routine, impersonal and immediate corporal punishment of students for indiscipline of any kind would be allowed. I was in a dictatorial, although not military, educational environment from the ages of four through seventeen. For all those years, for five days a week for ten months of those years, I and my cohort were screamed at daily. I was only hit twice, once for collar undone, once for unauthorised smiling. That learned me good. What learned me even better was seeing others of my cohort hit more often and/or more severely for routinely offending or committing worse offences. I had not heard of Bismarck until I was in my teens, but, from the age of about five years old, I saw the wisdom of and rigourously applied his maxim "I prefer to learn from the mistakes of others." In the end, most of my cohort turned out just fine, getting into the colleges, universities and lives we wanted. The genetic criminals, the ones who still persist in offending no matter how hard or how often the instructors hit them, were incorrigible and ended up in the goal and/or six feet under, as was their, in the words of Paolo Coelho, "personal legend."
Fear, you see, is a great motivator. When a kid fears consequences far more than said kid fears death, said kid is more apt to listen, a skill key to education and to life in general.
As the kids grow older, drill would be adapted to fit in age/size/physiology-appropriate exercise. Physical drill would be modified for physically handicapped children, so that they can perform to the maximum their limitations permit. As far as the didactic curriculum is concerned, numeracy and literacy would be emphasised and resentment studies/subset of the population studies would be binned completely. The link between literacy and numeracy would be made by having the kids read science-oriented fiction, such as Douglas Adams and such as the following lists from the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum's Air and Space Magazine for
2013
2014, and
2015.
When the kids either reach the age of ten, or are physically large enough, they would be introduced to the rifle. Before they set paws to rifle, however, they would be drilled for hours on safety, including--and especially--the lesson that the rifle and other firearms are meant exclusively for defence and that they are never intended to resolve conflicts/jealousies/dislikes/problems. Any idiot, you see, can pull a trigger and have a gun be devastating at point blank range. To be able to hit a target at one hundred yards, five hundred yards and a thousand yards, on the other hand, requires through and total body discipline. You have to control your breathing. You have to not move. You have to stay for a long period of time in an uncomfortable position. You have to be able to accurately measure distance. You have to accurately gauge temperature and wind direction and perform at a mathematical level that allows you to adjust your aim accordingly.
Hand-in-hand with rifle training would come reading books that show how to behave responsibly. Rudyard Kipling, H. Rider Haggard, Zane Grey, Karl May, James Fenimore Cooper, P.C. Wren and Mark Twain come most readily to mind.
Now, the SJWs would object to such a military-centred education in the grounds that "it will create generations of war-mongers." The counter to this accusation is that such an education would also emphasise history. Not the history of the subset of the population du jour or du mois, but actual history. Students would recite the key passages of General George Washington's Farewell Address, then-Secretary of State John Quincy Adams' 1821 4th of July Address and Medal of Honour winner Charles Augustus Lindbergh's 11, September 1941 Des Moines Speech alongside the Pledge of Allegiance every morning and every afternoon after coming back from lunch. They would learn that the best General of the Second World War was neither Manstein nor Guderian but Henri Guisan.