love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

If he pranks you and doesn’t show up it will be the 1st thing he does I approve of, teach you to tune in to this garbage

I guess the closer he gets to 5pm the less time they will have for questions before the official press conference.

what a charismatic powerhouse

"Sorry I'm late"

I knew he wouldn't have an iron

he's sitting there like a sulking school boy reading out the note his dad wrote for why he'd been naughty

I can hardly understand his thick North Eastern accent.

Lol what’s the background noise

ha, he's shit at this

This noise is hilarious

He brought a labouring cow

disappointingly going with 'humble man of reason' rather than 'bragging supervillain', it isn't really working

Lol what’s the background noise

man his understanding of how the disease spreads and how isolation works is... patchy

convenient

Bass vuvuzela.

Idk why you wouldn’t just make a brief apology rather than this....boring shit.

flood the zone

have you seen his blog

wah wah I'm the victim

Someone is practicing the saxophone

i was going to put only my youngest extended family members at risk! it was fine!

Doesn't Peter Brotzmann live in London these days?

That noise is making me pine for Cafe Oto

It’s a lovely Dominic Cummings press statement in the rose garden, and you are a horrible goose

— m cox (@mmdotcox) May 25, 2020

Trying to bore us to death here.

I had to leave so that I didn't leave my wife at home alone (when I should have been isolating with them)

jesus, feel like I should be getting paid to listen to this

marco Rubio-esque drink of water there

What is this, his fucking livejournal?

so yeah i was wrong but for reasons i didn't expect

Did anyone else laugh at this shit about the hospital distance

What a boring little cunt.

MY EYESIGHT

My eyesight is fucked.

Wife: let's go for a drive??

I thought this dweeb would come out swinging at least!

This is gloriously pathetic

swinging means you respect your opponents. this is clear derision

They drove 250+ miles without a piss?

LOL the story about how he was spotted in Barnard Castle is such bullshit.

Driving 30 miles to test his eyesight omfg

if this wasn't real life this would be hilarious

did he just contradict his own mum about his movements after his uncle carked it

Who the fuck was threatening him in London?

working remotely doesn’t exist in cuntworld

NEITHER OF US REMEMBER THE CONVERSATION

He and Boris were so ill they couldn't remember a conversation they had! LOL!

here come the warm jets from reporters

No apology.

Laura k ‘do you understand’, playing the softest possible throw there

He is not looking forward to answering these questions!