love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

"i'm resigned to watching a bunch of you die"

or i’m resigned to bringing in authoritarian measures because you didn’t respond properly to our confused economic and social messages. no i don’t care it’s been half cocked you will have to pay for our uselessness.

authoritarian measures for at least 2 years, maybe. you love to see it.

too bad Theresa sold the water cannon

here we fuckin’ go

Would he not brush his hair for this

Fuck that shit University Challenge is on then there's a brand new Family Guy

Should have done a bingo card

He’ll say OUR NHS by the time I’ve finished writing this

a brand new Family Guy

“If your friends ask you to meet, you should say no”
lol

“The police will have the power”
oh no

German rules!

nice to see boris boasting about building up our nhs seconds after a devastating c4 report on ppe shortages

OUR NHS

there it is

Speaking to the nation, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson says the coronavirus is "the biggest threat this country has faced for decades".

He says "without a huge national effort" there will come a time when "no health service in the world could possibly cope; because there won’t be enough ventilators, enough intensive care beds, enough doctors and nurses".

maybe, but it would certainly cope a lot easier if we had actually looked after the NHS properly you absolute fucktards

Wondering if going to the allotment counts as exercise or if it'll get me put before the firing squad

Jeremy Corbyn wondering the same thing

https://cdn.sescoops.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/lockdown-696x392.jpg

Instructed to use food delivery services as much as possible, which is great if you don’t need groceries any time before the first week of May,

BoJo boasting abt “our NHS” made me chuck my tv out the window

starting to get nervous about how a uk of this character will start to view its smaller prosperous neighbour in the next wee while

I went to not-so-aptly-named Costcutter this afternoon, they had a selection of essentials including piles of toilet paper, but everything cost 2 or 3 times what it should usually. A man was having an argument with the cashier because she wouldn't let him buy three £5 bags of fusilli, he had to get his girlfriend in from the car to buy the third bag.

starting to get nervous about how a uk of this character will start to view its smaller prosperous neighbour in the next wee while

id ask how so but we have a thread for that

Instructed to use food delivery services as much as possible, which is great if you don’t need groceries any time before the first week of May,

I'm going to sound like pinefox wrt digital tv but I have never used food delivery services in my life!

Unfortunately for us, we have only used delivery for the most part since we moved here.

does butler count, before i answer

can anyone better versed in the logistics of British legal procedure than I am tell me what ‘the police will have the power to do x’ means in immediate and real terms? i assume it doesn’t just work on illucutionary force and afaicr there was nothing about police powers in the coronavirus legislation

There is an emergency powers bill going through parliament right now.

I'm going to be daily breaking the curfew, but responsibly where there aren't ppl and not where dirty fucking five-o can follow me without a helicopter.

If you mean with Douglas, they aren’t counting walking dogs I think.

I've also got a young adult with autism, he can't stay in the house all day and might fancy going out twice!

*got a* sounds fucking awful .. I'm a carer for I should have said.

thinking abt calz heading out where there are no people and where helicopters can’t follow and coming to the conclusion that he’s off to explore his local sewer system

glad i ventured out today to buy a bottle of glenmorangie before the sniper scope was trained on my front door

pretty pissed off about this the more i think about it - angry with all the pricks who couldn't follow the basic rules and have ruined it for everyone else, angry with the government for making such a botch of explaining things in the first place, angry about the herd immunity fiasco that lost vital time when we could've been implementing more tolerable control measures - not to mention costing however many additional lives, angry that the nhs is so poorly resourced that it's being overwhelmed so quickly, angry that all this is probably too late anyway

xp i heard they were going to give certain citizens drones so they could take out miscreants like calzino without having to venture out from behind their net curtains

I don't go to the places where humans go, and if I bump into any they usually run away!

calz in a drone based running man remake is the entertainment we need rn in this lazaretto nation.

oh yes i forgot about douglas. he needs to go and meet his friends the cows you need to explain.

totally legit orificer

not sure the police are going to be relishing trying to enforce this stuff, let alone have the resources for it

calz in a drone based running man remake is the entertainment we need rn in this lazaretto nation.

psyched for this brave new world tbh

not sure the police are going to be relishing trying to enforce this stuff, let alone have the resources for it

Can't understand why the military are not being put out, tbh.

Seems like people jammed into supermarkets and trains is more of an issue than everyone going to the park at the same time and these measures aren't really going to make much of a difference there

Where's Ant Middleton when you need him?

I know, New Zealand.

not sure the police are going to be relishing trying to enforce this stuff, let alone have the resources for it

― ymo sumac (NickB), Monday, 23 March 2020 bookmarkflaglink

They'll be under pressure once there are pics of more people raiding shelves and guess who is going to be pay for it?

A bunch of the dumbest dog owners on the planet are now arguing that ‘exercise once daily’ is about dogs AND humans. In my humble but correct opinion it’s not exercise if you have to pick up something’s poop.

Meanwhile, bosses at Sports Direct have told staff this evening they intend to keep their stores open because they believe they are “uniquely well placed to help keep the UK as fit and healthy as possible during this crisis”, the Press Association is reporting.

Mike Ashley, right?

yeah, let’s nationalise him too