RIP Jair Bolsonaro

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stop that!!!

honky wonk badonkadonk (crüt), Friday, 13 March 2020 14:55 (two years ago) link

It's the hope etc.

xyzzzz__, Friday, 13 March 2020 14:56 (two years ago) link

^gets it

Οὖτις, Friday, 13 March 2020 14:57 (two years ago) link

hoping his rest is somewhat less than peaceful

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 13 March 2020 14:57 (two years ago) link

For a fascist strongman this guy sure gets sick a lot

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Friday, 13 March 2020 15:27 (two years ago) link

tbf, the last time was because someone knifed him.

Apparently not confirmed that he even has it yet,

ShariVari, Friday, 13 March 2020 15:34 (two years ago) link


mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Friday, 13 March 2020 16:44 (two years ago) link

His son sez he took a second test and it was negative

I am using your worlds, Friday, 13 March 2020 16:45 (two years ago) link

tbf the second test was an IQ test

Οὖτις, Friday, 13 March 2020 17:21 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Who is running Brazil? Veteran Buenos Aires journalist Horacio Verbitsky claims Argentine authorities have already been told that Bolsonaro is now “a monarch without effective power”, with General Walter Braga Neto assuming role of "operational president".

— Brasil Wire (@BrasilWire) April 4, 2020

Still at the unverified rumour stage but there is speculation that the military has effectively taken power in Brazil.

ShariVari, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 16:11 (two years ago) link

isn't that kinda what he wanted all along

nashwan, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 16:13 (two years ago) link

p sure Bolsonaro wanted to be in charge

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 16:15 (two years ago) link

There was a report that he had all but boasted he was about to fire his health minister for being, well, sensible I guess, but that the rest of the government forced him to back down.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 16:16 (two years ago) link

p sure he's all okely dokely with the army taking over tho

Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 16:17 (two years ago) link

three months pass...

pouring one out for the big man

Neil S, Tuesday, 7 July 2020 15:19 (two years ago) link

Oh noes, the rumours turned out to be true.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 7 July 2020 15:23 (two years ago) link

I find it somewhat reassuring that a guy who seemed to be trying his best to catch it took so long to actually catch it.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 7 July 2020 15:25 (two years ago) link

Don't worry, he'll kill it just like he did those push-ups:

pomenitul, Tuesday, 7 July 2020 15:26 (two years ago) link

Truly the Darren Anderton of fascism

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 15:33 (two years ago) link

Oh noes, the rumours turned out to be true.

Lipstick O.G. (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 15:36 (two years ago) link

“Just look at my face: I’m fine,” Bolsonaro says, taking off his mask in front of journalists after announcing he has just tested positive for coronavirus

— Tom Phillips (@tomphillipsin) July 7, 2020

Matt DC, Tuesday, 7 July 2020 16:08 (two years ago) link

The world is being led by morons.

The Fields o' Fat Henry (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 16:16 (two years ago) link

we’re long overdue a world leader dying from the rona, thanks for your service jair

scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 16:31 (two years ago) link

Led off a cliff by morons, let's be precise here

Well, that's a fine howdy adieu! (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 16:31 (two years ago) link

"look at my face, i'm fine", he said, unzipping his pants

I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 17:03 (two years ago) link

The world is being led by morons.

Donkeys are out of style.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 7 July 2020 17:05 (two years ago) link

and what do i get
for my pa-ee-ay-ee-ayn

I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 17:06 (two years ago) link

Am I projecting that he has blue lips in that clip?

stet, Tuesday, 7 July 2020 17:31 (two years ago) link


I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 17:35 (two years ago) link

judging by his pic above, he looks like the first person to go through rigor mortis while he was still alive

I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 July 2020 17:36 (two years ago) link

I swear, this dude gets coronavirus every other week

anvil, Tuesday, 7 July 2020 19:27 (two years ago) link

can he be like Jesus and take all of the Coronavirus in the world on himself*, and then die it all away

*and save some for Trump, Orban, Doug Ford, and Matteo Salvini

I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 8 July 2020 02:04 (two years ago) link

Later on Tuesday, he posted a video to Facebook of him taking his third dose of hydroxychloroquine, which has also been promoted by President Donald Trump.

“Today I’m a lot better, so certainly it’s working,” Bolsonaro said, downing the dose with a glass of water. “We know today there are other remedies that can help fight the coronavirus. We know none of them have their efficacy scientifically proven, but I’m one more person for whom this is working. So I trust hydroxychloroquine. And you?”


nashwan, Wednesday, 8 July 2020 09:00 (two years ago) link

he should inject bleach

per aspera ad scampo (||||||||), Wednesday, 8 July 2020 09:05 (two years ago) link

“Masks are for fags” says Jair Bolsonaro after announcing he has tested positive for COVID-19.

— Brasil Wire (@BrasilWire) July 8, 2020


frogbs, Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:05 (two years ago) link


mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:06 (two years ago) link

like i know that's awful but my only reaction is lmao

mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:07 (two years ago) link

Jair Rogan

pomenitul, Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:09 (two years ago) link

It's going to be so awful if he gets a genuinely mild or asymptomatic case. Hundreds of thousands of people could die.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:14 (two years ago) link

it’s imperative for public heath that he dies a protracted, painful and public death

scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:16 (two years ago) link

He's nine years older than BJ, so there's still hope.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:24 (two years ago) link

As per The Guardian:

Brazil’s President Jair Bolsonaro has vetoed provisions of a law that required the federal government to provide drinking water, disinfectants and a guarantee of hospital beds to indigenous communities amid the pandemic. Bolsonaro, who has tested positive for coronavirus, vetoed 16 parts of the law on efforts to address the coronavirus threat to the indigenous population, but still allowed for provisions on adequate testing, ambulance services and medical equipment.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:26 (two years ago) link

*errr, per The Guardian

pomenitul, Wednesday, 8 July 2020 20:27 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

back in his happy place

- Comecei a passar mal após o almoço de domingo.
- Cheguei ao hospital às 03h00 de hoje.
- Me colocaram sonda nasogástrica.
- Mais exames serão feitos para possível cirurgia de obstrução interna na região abdominal.

— Jair M. Bolsonaro (@jairbolsonaro) January 3, 2022

balsamic vaccinegar of moderna (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 3 January 2022 16:33 (ten months ago) link

dammit I hoped he was really dead

According his own doctor, Bolsonaro was hospitalized because he did not chew shrimps he had for lunch on Sunday 🤦‍♀️

— Nathália Urban (@UrbanNathalia) January 5, 2022

roflrofl fight (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 5 January 2022 19:23 (ten months ago) link

his covid levels are getting dangerously low

JoeStork, Wednesday, 5 January 2022 19:43 (ten months ago) link

"chew the shrimp" set to the tune of Spill the Wine

Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 5 January 2022 19:48 (ten months ago) link


I Can't See Gervais In My Mind (Tom D.), Wednesday, 5 January 2022 19:49 (ten months ago) link

i am picturing an x-ray showing whole undigested shrimp with tails on them just bouncing around in there

towards fungal computer (harbl), Wednesday, 5 January 2022 21:19 (ten months ago) link

eat the gecko jair

mark s, Wednesday, 5 January 2022 21:20 (ten months ago) link

The is jair bait at this stage

pandmac (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 January 2022 21:31 (ten months ago) link

RIP shrimp

jmm, Wednesday, 5 January 2022 21:35 (ten months ago) link

I've opened this thread three times today, and each time expected him to be dead for real.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 5 January 2022 21:39 (ten months ago) link

"Started by Οὖτις"


mark s, Wednesday, 5 January 2022 21:41 (ten months ago) link

Mostly Jair's home. He can pause Forrest Gump and go fold the laundry or heat up a burrito or stuff his butt full of shrimp while thinking about the Amazon delivery person.

Ssäm Sauce | Martha Stewart (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 6 January 2022 01:13 (ten months ago) link

I hear he ate so many shrimps he got iodine poisoning

Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Thursday, 6 January 2022 02:51 (ten months ago) link

Fuck I hate these threads and their false promises

epistantophus, Thursday, 6 January 2022 02:53 (ten months ago) link

will you fucking people stop reviving this thread? Dante punished those who raised false hopes in the hearts of men.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 6 January 2022 02:58 (ten months ago) link

well the Jair store called

Ssäm Sauce | Martha Stewart (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 6 January 2022 03:00 (ten months ago) link

well I had sex with YOUR wife!

they were written with a ouija board and a rhyming dictionary (Neanderthal), Thursday, 6 January 2022 03:52 (ten months ago) link

six months pass...

this man is condemned to live forever in an eternally-decaying body

Hours before meeting with dozens of ambassadors from different countries, Bolsonaro admitted to his supporters that he was not feeling well, that he had a fever and coughed a lot.

— Nathália Urban (@UrbanNathalia) July 18, 2022

built like a kit malthouse (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 18 July 2022 20:01 (four months ago) link

Fifth time's the charm. Sixth? Seventh?

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 18 July 2022 20:10 (four months ago) link

four months pass...

my man looking good as hell

Brazil's lame duck President Jair Bolsonaro, who has only averaged about 25 minutes of work per day since becoming the first incumbent to ever lose a presidential election, has been rushed to the armed forces hospital in Brasília with abdominal pain.

— BrianMier (@BrianMteleSUR) November 18, 2022

manic pixie dream shatner (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 18 November 2022 22:25 (one week ago) link

dealing with his loss by stress-eating shrimp

waste of compute (One Eye Open), Friday, 18 November 2022 23:08 (one week ago) link

Yeah, Pepto-Bismol ain't gonna be enough for that dude

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 18 November 2022 23:14 (one week ago) link

Classic photo.

xyzzzz__, Friday, 18 November 2022 23:48 (one week ago) link

Brazil’s reclusive Bolsonaro has a skin infection, ‘cannot wear pants’

— Jeremy / anti-partisan (@Moderateleft) November 19, 2022

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 19 November 2022 06:49 (one week ago) link

lol... check out this delicate hothouse flower. He'll have to spend the rest of his life in a plastic bubble.

calzino, Saturday, 19 November 2022 08:05 (one week ago) link

Bolsanaro health conditions, ranked

— Gabrielle Bluestone (@g_bluestone) November 19, 2022

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 20 November 2022 18:38 (one week ago) link

God I was hoping the RIP was real this time. That man must have cat DNA.

Lord Pickles (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 20 November 2022 18:48 (one week ago) link

Generalissimo Francisco Bolsonaro

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Monday, 21 November 2022 19:17 (one week ago) link


rob, Monday, 21 November 2022 19:26 (one week ago) link

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