Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

Such a depressingly dire pile of cinematic barf.

Fantasy Island is probably the one of these whose existence is most baffling, but the Disney live action bonanza remains the biggest cinematic nuisance of recent years, so I'll go with Mulan.

i believe bill & ted and the candyman remake will be good, or at least not abominations

i am very excited for venom 2, the sequel to the only good superhero movie

voted ghostbusters in a heartbeat

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

i'm voting for this, there are way too fucking many of these movies

i can't believe they're rebooting the grudge what the hell

runner up vote to Trolls World Tour, the preview for which was somehow the most horrific element of my Cats screening

but as with the candyman remake i looked at who was involved and now i'm like.... maybe it'll be good. andrea riseborough!

xp

Bad Boys II is the worst film ever made, so

the Disney live action bonanza remains the biggest cinematic nuisance of recent years, so I'll go with Mulan.

― Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Thursday, January 2, 2020 12:07 PM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I have a feeling that this will be the Solo that makes them think twice about the path they're hurtling down so recklessly. Wouldn't be at all surprised if they cease preproduction altogether on the live-action remakes of Brother Bear and Meet the Robinsons.

as with the candyman remake i looked at who was involved and now i'm like.... maybe it'll be good. andrea riseborough!

I made this mistake with Pet Semetary, right down to getting excited about the lead actress. not doing it again

I have crossed-finger hopes for Bill & Ted Face the Music, The New Mutants, Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway, Scoob!, and The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run.

Don't care a lick about any of the others, but reserve special antipathy for Ghostbusters: Afterlife, which just please stop making Ghostbusters films that aren't the original team!

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/iSj1ooBM3P0/hqdefault.jpg

Dolittle

... actually, this one

The second most horrific trailer in front of Cats, though the fact that I'd seen it already dulled the impact

Yeah, I saw a trailer for that last week. It looked pretty dire.

Feels like we've reached the point where there's no real interest on the part of many rightsholders in whether people are asking for a particular sequel or remake or adaptation. Just like 'shit, this goddamn Cookie Crisp IP is just sitting here gathering dust, let's get those 'Johnny Johnny Yes Papa' fuckers from the YouTubes to blast a feature-length CGI dook for us'.

wow the dolittle trailer starts off with a moody cover of "what a wonderful world" lmao i hate music AND movies

Dolittle will at least produce some amusing behind-the-scenes fodder, given how cursed its production has supposedly been

Dolittle feels very much like Downey asking himself the question 'what kind of bullshit would I be doing right now if my career hadn't been miraculously revived a decade back?'

He has to be rich as hell rn. I just...don't understand it. At all.

I may have said this elsewhere but it's incredible the extent to which it feels like one of the fake trailers from Tropic Thunder, right down to the dodgy accent.

I like how off-the-wall some of these titles are if you don't know the original, e.g. Brahms: The Boy II, The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

i have voluntarily seen the boy twice and not even i noticed that a sequel was on this list. v excited for whatever absolute garbage it is though

XPS RDJ has gone full Dolittle. You don't go full Dolittle.

Predict ppl will find it hard to resist voting for morbius

katie holmes apparently stars in brahms: the boy ii, so i will be there opening night

The trailer for Scoob! implies that Scooby-Doo is named after Scooby Snacks and not the other way round, which is infuriating

I have no idea what The Boy is. I had to read a bit of the entry on The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard a bit before including it; The Hitman's Bodyguard sounded vaguely like something I remembered existing, but I couldn't be sure.

I expect to like West Side Story.

The existence of Morbius is stupid as hell but brace yourself for Sony's future forays into even stupider and more pointless adaptations of tertiary Spider-Man characters.

The trailer for Scoob! implies that Scooby-Doo is named after Scooby Snacks and not the other way round, which is infuriating

― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, January 2, 2020 1:03 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Particularly if the movie fails to identify them as Scoobert Snacks.

Based on the trailer, I've got less than zero anticipation of Ghostbusters: Afterlife.

Bill & ted seems to be the one that the most ppl have decided they need to believe will be good; I’ll be pretty surprised if it is, but that goes for most of these

this is the only morbius I know about

http://www.doctorwhotv.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/The-Brain-of-Morbius.jpg

xp: yeah to clarify I will be surprised if the new Bill & Ted is any good, but I do want it to be.

same

the old ones are bad

Me being me, I'm hesitantly excited for Black Widow and Eternals but the MCU thus far was wrapped up in a perfectly satisfactory fashion and I've come to accept that the endeavor can't be maintained forever so I'm happy to move on if subsequent entries turf out.

Literally not one single other thing on this list that conjures more than a 'maybe I'll watch that 5-10 years from now if I happen upon it while flipping through channels' from me.

I mean I want to like them/indulge my fond memories but I tried rewatching the first one recently and it's just not well made, the jokes are clumsy and very obvious etc

xp

Have ppl noticed the same amount of goodwill/benefit of doubt against the odds for coming 2 America?

if you're not excited for the croods 2 i dunno what to tell you

the only one of these I'm remotely interested in seeing is Wonder Woman tbh

worst is def Top Gun

Is The Hitman's Bodyguard that Samuel Jackson/Ryan Reynolds flick? If so, I remember it getting very good word of mouth but barely managing 45 minutes of it before turning it off

The ones I have least animus towards are the 9th sequels to cheap horror properties cause they’re just part of the genre and although rooted in the same kind of cynicism are less grotesque to me than the megabudget monstrosities

I feel like we've had the notion of Top Gun as a pop classic imposed upon us because I don't know that I've ever heard anyone talk about it in glowing terms or cite it among their faves of the era or, like, anything. It's cited ironically quite a bit and that's about it. It's just a thing whose existence people are aware of without having anyone having actual feelings about that awareness. It's the deviled ham of film.

I know top gun stans (my sister for one, in the 90s anyway)

Bill & Ted 3 is pretty much guaranteed to flop which is why I suspect it'll actually be pretty good

last saw the original about 8 years ago, idk I still think it's got some pretty funny bits. 2nd obviously isn't as good but I give 'em credit for doing something adventurous and weird. comedy in general just doesn't age well. maybe I should take this to the challop thread but I bet if you showed Airplane to a 17 year old today they'd probably say something like, "this sucks"

i didn't see airplane! for the first time until maybe eight years ago and few things have made me laugh more but i know that's not the same thing

Netflix is currently working on its own Wonka content, with Taika Waititi (Thor: Love and Thunder) writing, directing, and executive producing two animated series based on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. One will be a more traditional adaptation, while the second provides a wholly original take on Wonka's singing factory workers: Oompa-Loompas.

It's Wonka-mania out there.

The kids are screaming for it. Incessantly.

it's paul king of paddington/the mighty boosh

I'm expecting Coming 2 America to be an experience a little like The Force Awakens -- I will have an involuntary wide-eyed smile and reflexively chuckle throughout the movie but it will be purely a pavlovian response to various cues in the film. I will walk away remembering almost none of it.

It should be a fun movie to find via voice-activated remote.

NOOOO, not Coming to America! Coming 2 America! 'Two', not 'to'!... GODDAMMIT, NO!

Not a flick but

The CW has ordered a pilot for ‘THE POWERPUFF GIRLS’ live-action series.

The series follows the trio as “disillusioned twentysomethings who resent having lost their childhood to crime fighting.” pic.twitter.com/P1BddfDgjX

— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) February 9, 2021

Um.

Fucking ideas, how do they work?

HBO MAX announces 'VELMA,' an adult animated comedy series telling the origin story of Velma Dinkley, the unsung and underappreciated brains of the Scooby-Doo Mystery Inc. voiced by Mindy Kaling.

Stunt casted v.o. is taking food out of the mouth of actual voice actors!

A Pup Named Scooby-Doo was about the kids in primary school, already friends and solving mysteries together.

Velma was mostly the same as her older incarnation—intelligent and soft-spoken with thick eyeglasses. The most evident change to her character was that she owned a briefcase-sized mobile computer that could determine who the culprit was in any particular episode. Velma also owned an oversized engine-propelled skateboard with a color scheme similar to the Mystery Machine, which all the characters could ride on. She had a distinctive gait during longer walks or runs (rapidly-shuffling feet), and a distinctive dance style borrowed from Peanuts character 5 (as he appears during the dance scene in A Charlie Brown Christmas)

The subsequent series What's New, Scooby Doo? included

a flashback to Velma's fifth birthday, using the character designs from A Pup Named Scooby-Doo, albeit with some modifications, such as Daphne wearing purple rather than pink. Fred and Velma were the only returning characters to speak in the flashback

So if it properly respects Scooby canon, this "adult-focused comedy" will be about the adventures of a four-year-old or younger girl.

The show follows how she loses her briefcase-sized mobile computer that can determine who the culprit is

and it winds up in the hands of.....

Inspector Gadget

who then also loses it

Adam Wingard's Not Making a Face/Off Remake—It's a Sequel https://t.co/QBlQVazq1x pic.twitter.com/y8d6mdXyxb

— io9 (@io9) February 12, 2021

Face/...ON!

Face/Lift, more like.

Face/Swap

Face/Butt

there shld be a Face / Off every two years by a different director and with two different leads

or just use Statham every time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLGD8g7pTfo

I'm gonna put your face....back on your face

here's that scene without most of the jokes cut out

there shld be a Face / Off every two years by a different director and with two different leads

i would prefer this over the biennial freaky friday movie

Hello, Cruel World. New Trailer Tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/oAFK0epmbB

— Walt Disney Studios (@DisneyStudios) February 16, 2021

they’re jokerfying cruella de vil

"Let me get this straight - you think dogs are only good for fur for coats?"
"They are - and I'm tired of pretending that they're not"

The hits just keep on coming

Netflix just announced the project, featuring the coming-of-age story of one #WednesdayAddams from director Tim Burton. https://t.co/Qr5obu0nIQ

— Tor.com (@tordotcom) February 17, 2021

finally we'll know how Wednesday got her powers

lol I came here because of Cruella, glad to see I was not first. At least maybe finally we will learn how Cruella got so cruel.

wednesday is the strongest addams family member to build a story around, but tim burton, ugh

Ooh, ooh, let me see if I can guess the next announcement! Let's see...perfunctory + edgy reboot of secondary (if not tertiary), decades-old character that literally no one was asking to see again, featuring the creative input of someone with a recognizable name who really needs a new boat, from a platform in desperate need of literally any content whatsoever...

The Roku Channel announces Ferguson Explains Nothing, a dark new take on the younger brother of Clarissa and his blood pact with the Dark Lord, from visionary auteur Baz Luhrmann

Was this posted?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ezhm_9ehXU4

I just soiled myself.

I...yes, I'm still soiling myself. Goddamn it.

A SpaceX rocket exploding isn't going to have the same emotional impact as Challenger.

― Joe Biden Stan Account (milo z), Friday, February 12, 2021 2:48 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

xxp the Onion's video division keeps getting better.

i'm guessing most people who grew up with punky brewster have kids who are too old for this

I have absolutely no idea who they think that show is for.

Hey why not Webster except Webster is fifty and unemployed and going back to finish his college degree and there's a wacky tween vlogger who he befriends and also no one under thirty knows who Webster even is and no one over thirty has particularly fond memories of the third-rate '80s sitcom called Webster and even the few who might aren't exactly doing flips about seeing Webster: The Depressing Middle-Aged Years.

I just soiled myself.

I...yes, I'm still soiling myself. Goddamn it.

― The Mandolinrainian (Old Lunch), Wednesday, February 17, 2021 4:51 PM bookmarkflaglink

Butt Lunch

They could reboot Small Wonder as a Robot Out of Water story, where the robot kid from the '80s, still the same "age," is discovered in 2021. Hijinks, anachronisms and malapropisms ensue.

that Punky Brewster looks like a very, very, very, very poor man's Pamela Adlon/Better Things

EXCLU: Timothee Chalamet to play Willy Wonka in WB origin pic WONKA https://t.co/7iRDNk8Qa9

— Justin Kroll (@krolljvar) May 24, 2021

lol

omg, hatewatch time

WONKA: THE MAN AND HIS DREAM

4 hours, Zak Snyder directed

i'm not sure how i feel about such a smashable wonka

Mr. Chalamet yearns to be seen so much more than smashable; he wants to break free and see more scripts that exhibit his darker, edgier side. His next obvious move is to play The Joker.

plot twist: timothee chalamet IS the joker AS willy wonka IN: wb's rebooted dark universe reboot, little orphan bruce wayne and the chocolate factory 2: rebootier

Ok, so going from the reviews, Top Gun: Maverick might actually be good?

the first one wasn't good

The twist is it’s a sequel to Maverick, not Top Gun.

they should have called it Top Gun: Iceman to go for that marvel money