Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

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As we are all aware from months of breathless anticipation, the latest reboot of the The Grudge series opens in North America tomorrow, thus kicking off another year of dead-horse-beating from the Hollywood dream factory. Which of these titles makes you most want to stay home in 2020?

As always, I am drawing upon [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_films_of_2020]Wikipedia[/i] for information, so releases and titles are subject to change and all that. With adaptations of novels that had previously been filmed, I had to make some pretty judgement calls, so by my arbitrary calculus, Netflix's latest go at Rebecca isn't here, but The Invisible Man is--my rationale being that one is a fresh take on Daphne DuMaurier's novel, while the other is an attempt to restart Universal's doomed classic monster franchise. Make sense? We can argue about all that in the thread.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Ghostbusters: Afterlife 8
Dolittle 5
Scoob! 5
Morbius 5
Sonic the Hedgehog 4
Minions: The Rise of Gru 4
Bad Boys for Life 4
Mulan 3
Trolls World Tour 2
Tom and Jerry 2
Top Gun: Maverick 2
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It 1
The King's Man 1
Bob's Burgers: The Movie 1
Impractical Jokers: The Movie 1
No Time to Die 1
Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway 1
A Quiet Place: Part II 1
Candyman 1
The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard 1
Halloween Kills 1
The Grudge 1
Godzilla vs. Kong 1
Coming 2 America 1
Fast & Furious 9 1
Fantasy Island 1
The Croods 2 1
Venom 2 1
Brahms: The Boy II 1
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run 0
West Side Story 0
The Purge 5 0
Bill & Ted Face the Music 0
Birds of Prey 0
P.S. I Still Love You 0
The New Mutants 0
Black Widow 0
The Invisible Man 0
The Eternals 0
Escape Room 2 0
Wonder Woman 1984 0


Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:03 (one year ago) link

Such a depressingly dire pile of cinematic barf.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:05 (one year ago) link

Fantasy Island is probably the one of these whose existence is most baffling, but the Disney live action bonanza remains the biggest cinematic nuisance of recent years, so I'll go with Mulan.

Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:07 (one year ago) link

i believe bill & ted and the candyman remake will be good, or at least not abominations

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:08 (one year ago) link

i am very excited for venom 2, the sequel to the only good superhero movie

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:08 (one year ago) link

voted ghostbusters in a heartbeat

bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:09 (one year ago) link

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

i'm voting for this, there are way too fucking many of these movies

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:09 (one year ago) link

i can't believe they're rebooting the grudge what the hell

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:10 (one year ago) link

runner up vote to Trolls World Tour, the preview for which was somehow the most horrific element of my Cats screening

bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:11 (one year ago) link

but as with the candyman remake i looked at who was involved and now i'm like.... maybe it'll be good. andrea riseborough!

xp

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:12 (one year ago) link

Bad Boys II is the worst film ever made, so

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:16 (one year ago) link

the Disney live action bonanza remains the biggest cinematic nuisance of recent years, so I'll go with Mulan.

― Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Thursday, January 2, 2020 12:07 PM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I have a feeling that this will be the Solo that makes them think twice about the path they're hurtling down so recklessly. Wouldn't be at all surprised if they cease preproduction altogether on the live-action remakes of Brother Bear and Meet the Robinsons.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:17 (one year ago) link

as with the candyman remake i looked at who was involved and now i'm like.... maybe it'll be good. andrea riseborough!

I made this mistake with Pet Semetary, right down to getting excited about the lead actress. not doing it again

bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:18 (one year ago) link

I have crossed-finger hopes for Bill & Ted Face the Music, The New Mutants, Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway, Scoob!, and The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run.

Don't care a lick about any of the others, but reserve special antipathy for Ghostbusters: Afterlife, which just please stop making Ghostbusters films that aren't the original team!

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/iSj1ooBM3P0/hqdefault.jpg

☮️ (peace, man), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:19 (one year ago) link

Dolittle

... actually, this one

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:25 (one year ago) link

The second most horrific trailer in front of Cats, though the fact that I'd seen it already dulled the impact

bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:26 (one year ago) link

Yeah, I saw a trailer for that last week. It looked pretty dire.

☮️ (peace, man), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:27 (one year ago) link

Feels like we've reached the point where there's no real interest on the part of many rightsholders in whether people are asking for a particular sequel or remake or adaptation. Just like 'shit, this goddamn Cookie Crisp IP is just sitting here gathering dust, let's get those 'Johnny Johnny Yes Papa' fuckers from the YouTubes to blast a feature-length CGI dook for us'.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:27 (one year ago) link

wow the dolittle trailer starts off with a moody cover of "what a wonderful world" lmao i hate music AND movies

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:29 (one year ago) link

Dolittle will at least produce some amusing behind-the-scenes fodder, given how cursed its production has supposedly been

bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:29 (one year ago) link

Dolittle feels very much like Downey asking himself the question 'what kind of bullshit would I be doing right now if my career hadn't been miraculously revived a decade back?'

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:30 (one year ago) link

He has to be rich as hell rn. I just...don't understand it. At all.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:31 (one year ago) link

I may have said this elsewhere but it's incredible the extent to which it feels like one of the fake trailers from Tropic Thunder, right down to the dodgy accent.

bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:31 (one year ago) link

I like how off-the-wall some of these titles are if you don't know the original, e.g. Brahms: The Boy II, The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

jmm, Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:34 (one year ago) link

i have voluntarily seen the boy twice and not even i noticed that a sequel was on this list. v excited for whatever absolute garbage it is though

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:36 (one year ago) link

XPS RDJ has gone full Dolittle. You don't go full Dolittle.

a bevy of supermodels, musicians and Lena Dunham (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:38 (one year ago) link

Predict ppl will find it hard to resist voting for morbius

Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 18:59 (one year ago) link

katie holmes apparently stars in brahms: the boy ii, so i will be there opening night

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:00 (one year ago) link

The trailer for Scoob! implies that Scooby-Doo is named after Scooby Snacks and not the other way round, which is infuriating

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:03 (one year ago) link

I have no idea what The Boy is. I had to read a bit of the entry on The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard a bit before including it; The Hitman's Bodyguard sounded vaguely like something I remembered existing, but I couldn't be sure.

Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:07 (one year ago) link

I expect to like West Side Story.

temporarily embarrassed thousandaire (Eric H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:08 (one year ago) link

The existence of Morbius is stupid as hell but brace yourself for Sony's future forays into even stupider and more pointless adaptations of tertiary Spider-Man characters.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:11 (one year ago) link

The trailer for Scoob! implies that Scooby-Doo is named after Scooby Snacks and not the other way round, which is infuriating

― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, January 2, 2020 1:03 PM (seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Particularly if the movie fails to identify them as Scoobert Snacks.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:12 (one year ago) link

Based on the trailer, I've got less than zero anticipation of Ghostbusters: Afterlife.

temporarily embarrassed thousandaire (Eric H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:13 (one year ago) link

Bill & ted seems to be the one that the most ppl have decided they need to believe will be good; I’ll be pretty surprised if it is, but that goes for most of these

Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:16 (one year ago) link

this is the only morbius I know about

http://www.doctorwhotv.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/The-Brain-of-Morbius.jpg

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:20 (one year ago) link

xp: yeah to clarify I will be surprised if the new Bill & Ted is any good, but I do want it to be.

☮️ (peace, man), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:22 (one year ago) link

same

bold caucasian eroticism (Simon H.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:25 (one year ago) link

the old ones are bad

Οὖτις, Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:27 (one year ago) link

Me being me, I'm hesitantly excited for Black Widow and Eternals but the MCU thus far was wrapped up in a perfectly satisfactory fashion and I've come to accept that the endeavor can't be maintained forever so I'm happy to move on if subsequent entries turf out.

Literally not one single other thing on this list that conjures more than a 'maybe I'll watch that 5-10 years from now if I happen upon it while flipping through channels' from me.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:27 (one year ago) link

I mean I want to like them/indulge my fond memories but I tried rewatching the first one recently and it's just not well made, the jokes are clumsy and very obvious etc

xp

Οὖτις, Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:28 (one year ago) link

Have ppl noticed the same amount of goodwill/benefit of doubt against the odds for coming 2 America?

Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:28 (one year ago) link

if you're not excited for the croods 2 i dunno what to tell you

ciderpress, Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:29 (one year ago) link

the only one of these I'm remotely interested in seeing is Wonder Woman tbh

worst is def Top Gun

Οὖτις, Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:29 (one year ago) link

Is The Hitman's Bodyguard that Samuel Jackson/Ryan Reynolds flick? If so, I remember it getting very good word of mouth but barely managing 45 minutes of it before turning it off

groovypanda, Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:32 (one year ago) link

The ones I have least animus towards are the 9th sequels to cheap horror properties cause they’re just part of the genre and although rooted in the same kind of cynicism are less grotesque to me than the megabudget monstrosities

Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:34 (one year ago) link

I feel like we've had the notion of Top Gun as a pop classic imposed upon us because I don't know that I've ever heard anyone talk about it in glowing terms or cite it among their faves of the era or, like, anything. It's cited ironically quite a bit and that's about it. It's just a thing whose existence people are aware of without having anyone having actual feelings about that awareness. It's the deviled ham of film.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:35 (one year ago) link

I know top gun stans (my sister for one, in the 90s anyway)

Baby yoda laid an egg (wins), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:36 (one year ago) link

Bill & Ted 3 is pretty much guaranteed to flop which is why I suspect it'll actually be pretty good

last saw the original about 8 years ago, idk I still think it's got some pretty funny bits. 2nd obviously isn't as good but I give 'em credit for doing something adventurous and weird. comedy in general just doesn't age well. maybe I should take this to the challop thread but I bet if you showed Airplane to a 17 year old today they'd probably say something like, "this sucks"

frogbs, Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:40 (one year ago) link

i didn't see airplane! for the first time until maybe eight years ago and few things have made me laugh more but i know that's not the same thing

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 2 January 2020 19:43 (one year ago) link

WORTH IT

a bevy of supermodels, musicians and Lena Dunham (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 13 March 2020 00:34 (ten months ago) link

i liked the invisible man. quite an experience in a movie theatre. don't watch the trailer, it gives away every big scene.

wasdnuos (abanana), Friday, 13 March 2020 00:40 (ten months ago) link

Except the success of TIM apparently has inspired Universal to take another crack at the Dark Universe: http://epicstream.com/news/TinyDiapana/Universal-Developing-New-Dracula-Movie-For-Its-Dark-Universe.

Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Friday, 13 March 2020 00:54 (ten months ago) link

two months pass...

Scoob! has been dumped to VOD, and is apparently not merely bad, but another failed universe-starter:

I’m not really spoiling anything, but the movie switches from being a Scooby-Doo movie to a vehicle to introduce various “B” level Hanna Barbera characters. Scooby and Shaggy join forces with Blue Falcon and Dynomutt: The Dog Wonder to fight Dick Dastardly, who is hunting for three skulls that open Alexander the Great’s tomb and along the way they go to Dinosaur Island and fight Captain Caveman.

Doctor Casino, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:10 (eight months ago) link

I will fight anyone who calls Dynomutt a B-level character.

Bougy! Bougie! Bougé! (Eliza D.), Monday, 18 May 2020 14:29 (eight months ago) link

Alexander the Great is totally A-level

jmm, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:32 (eight months ago) link

Since childhood, Shaggy Rogers, Fred Jones, Velma Dinkley, and Daphne Blake have been solving mysteries across the globe accompanied by Shaggy's pet dog, Scooby-Doo. But their greatest mystery together comes in a turn of events when they run into the Blue Falcon, who is trying to prevent his arch-rival, Dick Dastardly from causing a global "dogpocalypse" by unleashing the Great Cerberus on the world.

dog

pocalypse

jmm, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:38 (eight months ago) link

For a better HBCU, watch the mystery solvers club episode of mystery inc instead.

wasdnous (abanana), Monday, 18 May 2020 14:43 (eight months ago) link

truly struggling with this use of "HBCU"

Doctor Casino, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:45 (eight months ago) link

looool

peace, man, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:47 (eight months ago) link

So many goddamn universes and they still haven't made my Captain Crunch/Count Chocula Cereal Mascots cinematic universe yet

Vinnie, Monday, 18 May 2020 15:13 (eight months ago) link

adogalypse imo

Bleeqwot (sic), Monday, 18 May 2020 21:21 (eight months ago) link

I was just being silly but now that I've learned of the existence of that movie I kind of want to watch it xp

Vinnie, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 00:51 (eight months ago) link

seven months pass...

Did any of these come out

Canon in Deez (silby), Thursday, 14 January 2021 06:32 (one week ago) link

Doodoolittle did

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 January 2021 06:33 (one week ago) link

Did any of these come out

Ghostbusters: Afterlife - bumped until after pandemic
Dolittle - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC
Scoob! - have a feeling this was in cinemas and went to 'vid on demand
Morbius - bumped until after pandemic, most recently rescheuled yesterday
Sonic the Hedgehog - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC
Minions: The Rise of Gru - dunno
Bad Boys for Life - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC
Mulan - came out mid-pandemic, was Disney+ exclusive in USA iirc
Trolls World Tour - dunno, think it came out sometime?
Tom and Jerry - dunno, prob bumped
Top Gun: Maverick - bumped until after pandemic
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It - dunno, prob bumped
The King's Man - bumped iirc
Bob's Burgers: The Movie - dunno, prob bumped
Impractical Jokers: The Movie - dunno, prob bumped
No Time to Die - bumped until after pandemic, currently scheduled for first weekend in April, entire studio trying to sell itself to cover losses
Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway - dunno, prob bumped
A Quiet Place: Part II - bumped until after pandemic
Candyman - bumped until after pandemic, to open at Halloween. was moved again when pandemic was still happening at Halloween.
The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard - dunno, prob bumped
Halloween Kills - bumped until after pandemic. scheduled for Halloween 2021
The Grudge - dunno
Godzilla vs. Kong - bumped until after pandemic
Coming 2 America - bumped until after pandemic
Fast & Furious 9 - bumped until after pandemic
Fantasy Island - dunno, prob bumped
The Croods 2 - may have come out?
Venom 2 - bumped iirc
Brahms: The Boy II - dunno, prob bumped
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run - I think maybe this came out in Canada only, ROW is waiting until after pandemic?
West Side Story - bumped until after pandemic, now scheduled for 60th anniversary of first film adap
The Purge 5 - dunno, prob bumped
Bill & Ted Face the Music - came the fuck on out mid-pandemic. screened at 4 out of 5 Washington drive-ins iirc, was day-and-date VOD in US, causing aggravation for other countries who wanted to not risk death by going to cinema
Birds of Prey - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC
P.S. I Still Love You - dunno, prob bumped
The New Mutants - came the fuck on out mid-pandemic. huge box-office success at $21 million, probably would have been regarded as expected disaster if it had made more than that in non-pando times.
Black Widow - bumped until after pandemic
The Invisible Man - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC, bangs
The Eternals - bumped until after pandemic
Escape Room 2 - dunno, prob bumped
Wonder Woman 1984 - bumped until after pandemic. pandemic was still happening at Christmas so just came out anyway.

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 07:23 (one week ago) link

Coming 2 America - bumped until after pandemic

except in the US where it will be direct-to-Bezos iirc, currently scheduled for release juuuust after the crest of the pandemic, dunno if its Bezorelease is legally tied to cinema release in countries or states with cinemas

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 07:29 (one week ago) link

Pretty sure Fantasy Island came out and (unsurprisingly) got abysmal reviews

New Bond just got bumped again to Autumn

groovypanda, Thursday, 14 January 2021 07:47 (one week ago) link

Fantasy Island was theatrically released in the United States on February 14, 2020 by Sony Pictures Releasing to overwhelmingly negative reviews. Despite this, the film was a box office success, grossing $48 million worldwide against its $7 million production budget.

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 08:17 (one week ago) link

Scoob! has been dumped to VOD, and is apparently not merely bad, but another failed universe-starter:

I’m not really spoiling anything, but the movie switches from being a Scooby-Doo movie to a vehicle to introduce various “B” level Hanna Barbera characters. (etc)

― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, May 19, 2020 12:10 AM (seven months ago)

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 09:29 (one week ago) link

Yesterday I saw a trailer for Wonder Woman 1984 that makes me more optimistic--soundtracked to "Blue Monday" and featuring gloriously lol-80s graphic effects. I think I'm going to have to see this for the art direction if nothing else.

― Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Tuesday, January 28, 2020 1:04 AM (eleven months ago)

monkey's paw twitches

Can I just say I much more enjoy this stage of proceedings than the bit where, later in the year, half these films get their own threads and people start to unnaccountably say positive things about them?

― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, January 15, 2020 1:08 PM (eleven months ago)

monkey's paw spasms uncontrollably for eighteen months or more

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 09:30 (one week ago) link

I saw Fantasy Island, The Grudge and Brahms the Boy in the cinema so they were released in the UK at least. I wouldn't recommend them.

The Fantasy Island film is a prequel and Jimmy O Yang becomes Tattoo.

Animal Bitrate (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 14 January 2021 09:57 (one week ago) link

I didn't see the WW trailer but that sounds infinitely better than the actual movie xp

groovypanda, Thursday, 14 January 2021 09:58 (one week ago) link

damn, good work sic.

i'm pretty sure Croods 2 and Trolls World Tour both came out during quarantine. there must have been some general studio calculus that lost box office bucks were a fair trade for streaming service loyalty from frazzled parents, desperate for their kids to put something DIFFERENT on for twenty times in a row.

Doctor Casino, Thursday, 14 January 2021 13:59 (one week ago) link

yep, sic is surely the James Brown of ilxor.com

Vinnie, Thursday, 14 January 2021 14:03 (one week ago) link

I mean, minus the controversial James Brown stuff

Vinnie, Thursday, 14 January 2021 14:03 (one week ago) link

hey, the Impractical Jokers movie came out, it was okay

frogbs, Thursday, 14 January 2021 15:18 (one week ago) link

actually no I was really irritated by it, all they had to do was follow the Jackass template and it would've been great but they tried to shoehorn a plot into it

so it was half good

frogbs, Thursday, 14 January 2021 15:19 (one week ago) link

i liked trolls world tour

Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 14 January 2021 19:01 (one week ago) link

Saw The Invisible Man (very good) and P.S. I Still Love You (already forgotten it). Haven't seen the new Bill & Ted yet, but I've heard good things.

I don't know if I should even bother doing one of these polls this year, considering that a lot of this stuff was/is pushed back. Let's meet here again in 2022.

Langdon Alger Stole the Highlights (cryptosicko), Thursday, 14 January 2021 19:10 (one week ago) link

Bill & Ted is at least as good as you reasonably could hope for a 30-years-later threequel, while obviously showing seams of losing 1/3 of their budget immediately before production, and then losing the ability to shoot a planned ending and pickups due to pandemic.

(You can also see the edges of a planned plotline that got cut for budget before the shooting script.)

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:04 (one week ago) link

agree it’s not v good

Yelp for gyros (wins), Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:10 (one week ago) link

it's v not bad though

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:15 (one week ago) link

Personally would not go as far as “v” even with 4 layers of special pleading tbh

Yelp for gyros (wins), Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:22 (one week ago) link

it's a Bill & Ted sequel imo

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 21:02 (one week ago) link

here we fuckin go

Warner Bros. has set a date for 'Wonka,' an origin story focusing on the storied chocolate factory ownerhttps://t.co/S2UgVSzuqg

— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) January 19, 2021

boz conspiracy by toby hus (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 17:42 (three days ago) link

I've always wondered what was going through the heads of the guys who poured the foundations, did the brickwork, etc. How did that wacky factory get built, is what I wanna know!

Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 17:46 (three days ago) link

Hopefully this sets the stage for more prequels about famous fictional buildings. Film audiences are hungry for effortlessness!

Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 17:48 (three days ago) link

haha yeah, the whole movie is just gonna be wonka meeting with city officials to get the permits.

"ok, so the building will be 5-square miles in area, 500 feet tall, and will go even further underground. also, there will be a nightmare cave."

boz conspiracy by toby hus (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 17:57 (three days ago) link

climax scene is inspectors telling Wonka his buildings aren't up to code as they're made up entirely of food.

and Wonka killing them

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 17:59 (three days ago) link

Oh, lol, I overlooked the word 'owner' in that tweet. But let's just keep pretending that it's about the factory, that's fun.

Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 18:05 (three days ago) link

And anyway, wasn't Burton's remake already a goddamn Wonka origin story? Chrrrrrist, just fucking try for once, Hollywood.

Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 18:06 (three days ago) link

There's racist stuff in the book about him going to a foreign country to get oompa loompa slaves.

wasdnuos (abanana), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 19:03 (three days ago) link

Not clicking that link. So, who is the person in the photo? Looks like a third Edgerton brother created from the toenail clippings and bodily wastes of the other two...

but also fuck you (unperson), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 19:05 (three days ago) link

Netflix is currently working on its own Wonka content, with Taika Waititi (Thor: Love and Thunder) writing, directing, and executive producing two animated series based on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. One will be a more traditional adaptation, while the second provides a wholly original take on Wonka's singing factory workers: Oompa-Loompas.

It's Wonka-mania out there.

jmm, Tuesday, 19 January 2021 19:06 (three days ago) link

The kids are screaming for it. Incessantly.

Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 19:08 (three days ago) link

it's paul king of paddington/the mighty boosh

boz conspiracy by toby hus (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 19:09 (three days ago) link

I'm expecting Coming 2 America to be an experience a little like The Force Awakens -- I will have an involuntary wide-eyed smile and reflexively chuckle throughout the movie but it will be purely a pavlovian response to various cues in the film. I will walk away remembering almost none of it.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 19:19 (three days ago) link

It should be a fun movie to find via voice-activated remote.

NOOOO, not Coming to America! Coming 2 America! 'Two', not 'to'!... GODDAMMIT, NO!

Vladislav Bibidonurtmi (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 19:31 (three days ago) link


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