star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

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Have at it.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:55 (three months ago) link

tell me there’s a snoke origin story

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:56 (three months ago) link

where there's snoke there's ire

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:56 (three months ago) link

Say whatever else you will, but Jar Jar leading an Ewok army in the battle against Emperor Palpatine was certainly unexpected.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:57 (three months ago) link

i have no skin in this game anymore but i've seen the leaks / early impressions and lol

ciderpress, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:23 (three months ago) link

i guess its at least interesting to make a trilogy-by-telephone where each film ignores the previous one as much as it can get away with

ciderpress, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:24 (three months ago) link

Sam Adams' review feels more appropriate for this thread than the other one

The Rise of Skywalker gives people what they go to Star Wars for, but that’s all it does—and worse, all it sets out to do. It’s frenzied, briefly infuriating, and eventually, grudgingly, satisfying, but it’s like being force-fed fandom: Your belly is filled, but there’s no pleasure in the meal. The movie feels like it’s part of the post–Last Jedi retrenchment, when Disney jerked the leash on Solo and killed plans for future spinoffs by insisting that filmmakers stick to the established playbook. It’s of a piece with the pointedly unambitious The Mandalorian, just good enough to get people’s attention but fundamentally terrified of rocking the boat. Rather than making a movie some people might love, Abrams tried to make a movie no one would hate, and as a result, you don’t feel much of anything at all.

https://slate.com/culture/2019/12/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-review.html

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:26 (three months ago) link

I think my relatively 'meh' position re: the new slate of sequels is starting to become clearer. They're just not that weird or idiosyncratic or personal. Say what you will about the prequels, for instance, but that shit oozes Lucas. The only truly odd moment that jumps out from the recent films is Luke blue-milking a giant teat. But even like ROTJ, which is one of my least faves...the Sarlaac! Jabba! The Max Rebo Band! Weirdness that feels legit and lived-in and which resonates decades after it dropped. So many of the new elements in the Disney films feels comparatively uninspired, like they set a bunch of fresh-faced interns to the task of adding on to the world. I don't remember really any of the new creatures, none of the characters really resonate with me as characters, even the carry-overs from the old films kinda just feel like they're going through the motions, mostly. Johnson injected a little bit of personality into the enterprise but not as much as people seem to think. There just isn't a lot here that people are going to remember fondly through the years.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:36 (three months ago) link

Eh, should've gone in the other thread, but it'll probably maintain its relevance once I've seen this thing.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:38 (three months ago) link

i'm guessing this thing will only make me more impressed with the last jedi

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:39 (three months ago) link

this feels like a good place for general bitching, let's let people possibly enjoy things in the other thread imo

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:40 (three months ago) link

TLJ isn't great, but its healthy disinterest in the past -- by using totems from past movies -- was refreshing.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:41 (three months ago) link

what particularly upsets me is that a lot of the things that small contingent of shitheads complained about re: the last jedi are present in the empire strikes back

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:43 (three months ago) link

It's almost like Johnson did that on purpose!

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:46 (three months ago) link

That is, made TLJ explicitly similar to ESB in terms of theme and structure. He managed to make a movie that was both forward looking and thematically consonant with the "saga" and people shat on it.

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:47 (three months ago) link

yep!!!!

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:48 (three months ago) link

I think ppl overstate the "forward looking" aspect but it's def a better movie than TFA

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:49 (three months ago) link

Fan culture is a disease. Anyway I'll keep away from this thread until I've actually seen the thing

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:49 (three months ago) link

lol the Slate comments wonder WHY WHY COULDN'T A FAN HAVE REVIEWED IT

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:52 (three months ago) link

I love fan logic. I review the Stones once and gave them a mixed review, and someone wrote in to say "I've seen the Stones live over 50 times, if they weren't always great, then why would I pay to see them so many times?"

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:55 (three months ago) link

In the AV Club review:

(A franchise long haunted by the ghosts of the past, Star Wars now involves both dead characters played by living actors and living characters played by dead actors.)

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:04 (three months ago) link

Was it absolutely necessary to dig up Mayhew and stuff him back into the Chewie costume?

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:13 (three months ago) link

I heard it's just some random stunt guy with Warwick Davis on his shoulders.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:20 (three months ago) link

I wonder if they'd have done this one the same way if McDiarmid had kicked it

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:46 (three months ago) link

ask the Ghosts of Peter Cushing and Carrie Fisher

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:50 (three months ago) link

exhuming someone to act as your Ultimate Baddie feels....different, somehow. But yeah you're probably right.

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:52 (three months ago) link

someone post spoilers. I'm unlikely to see this for several years, but want to know what happens

#FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:41 (three months ago) link

you can search for "star wars spoilers reddit", that's how I found 'em. ppl might not like just having them on here already in case they click on the wrong thread and find out Kylo Ren gets force-crucified by the ghost of Mace Windu

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:43 (three months ago) link

*SPOILER* Rey is half-Gungan

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:44 (three months ago) link

xp. thanks, I'm lazy

LOBOT becomes the new emperor, wild choice

#FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:44 (three months ago) link

OK, re-resolving to leave this thread alone

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:44 (three months ago) link

The really sad is I read these idiotic invented spoilers, and I'm guessing they're also references to last season of GoT?

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:48 (three months ago) link

Kylo Ren gets force-crucified by the ghost of Mace Windu

― Simon H., Wednesday, December 18, 2019 10:43 AM (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

put this vision on the big screen disney cowards

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:57 (three months ago) link

jedi instrumentality project when!!

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:58 (three months ago) link

As I said on the Grim Resignation thread I enjoyed this big, bloated finale. Felt the most like an old non-prequel Star Wars film to me out of the new three: weird races, weird places, silly names and epic Tolkein-y nonsense.
I'm cool with Chewie, 3PO and the remaining old characters given stuff to do as well.

SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:01 (three months ago) link

sounds like there's plenty of palpy, which is good imo

#FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:02 (three months ago) link

I doubt I'll be watching this. Anyone cool die?

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:37 (three months ago) link

Lots of Pallpy. Even more stuff that never gets explained which is hilarous.

SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:38 (three months ago) link

I doubt I'll be watching this. Anyone cool die?

― ☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, December 18, 2019 10:37 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

OBLIQUE BUT MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD

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the spoilers i read indicate that a major character (originating in this sequel trilogy) does die

#FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:43 (three months ago) link

snoke dies again

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:44 (three months ago) link

poopy palpy

ciderpress, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:11 (three months ago) link

So weird that they brought the Emperor back as a teenaged, incessantly-rapping version of himself called Palpy T. Even weirder how well it works!

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:21 (three months ago) link

Wellllll
My name is Palpy T and I'm here to say
I'll drop a Solo in your pit like my name was Weequay

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:25 (three months ago) link

I'm gettin' Palpy-tations

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:26 (three months ago) link

the dead speak!

ciderpress, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:27 (three months ago) link

Guys, lest we ever forget the magical moment when the world learned that Emperor Palpatine's long-hidden first name is

SHEEV

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:30 (three months ago) link

Sheev Mike

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:33 (three months ago) link

glad they finally worked an appearance from Darth Icky into the series given this was the last chance

ciderpress, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:36 (three months ago) link

You know Vader and Plagueis and Oppress
Sidious, Bane, Booger, Barf, Farts and Hopeless
But do you recall
A Darth even ickier than Maul?

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:46 (three months ago) link

Artie Bucci

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:01 (one week ago) link

Atta Boyee.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:02 (one week ago) link

Marvel-ass triangle cube trash

― brechtian social distancing (Simon H.),

best line in "I Am the Walrus."

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:02 (one week ago) link

Oscar Isaac, Handsome Adventurer tbh. face and hair, wonderful.

can't be emphasized enough

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:04 (one week ago) link

Thank you Simon.

DJI, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 17:54 (one week ago) link

just wanted to add that the shot of the 100s of star destroyers with the lightning and dark clouds looks like it was rendered with clip art

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:01 (one week ago) link

but tbf they only had three hundred million dollars to work with

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:02 (one week ago) link

the documentary clips about the movie make it clear that they spent a lot more time and money on puppets and animatronics -- which are excellent! -- than on the battle junk or the plot

absolute idiot liar uneducated person (mh), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:04 (one week ago) link

ok I'm done

I demand a tell-all about how *this* happened

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:28 (one week ago) link

Kathleen Kennedy bonked her head on a girder

silby, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:32 (one week ago) link

The best thing about this movie is that it led me to the palate cleanser of better (or 'better' if you prefer) SW product of the past that I'd previously passed over, eg. Clone Wars.

Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:38 (one week ago) link

well as noted, the debacle is mainly in terms of story and script - they maintained high production value and quality control to make it all feel "Star Warsy" etc. etc. seems pretty clear that, absent an actual planned story for the three movies (!!!!) they were counting on positive healthy handoffs between films. abrams isn't really good at finishing things story-wise, and in this case made a bad sequel both to johnson's film and to his own initial reboot film.

meanwhile, the films were made too quickly on each other's heels, so they made a lot of bad snap decisions based on overhyped early "fan" reaction to The Last Jedi. for example cutting Johnson loose entirely, and trusting that it would be a good look to ditch most of the exciting new stuff he did in that film. so nobody at the producer level was riding abrams to make sure this felt like a satisfying sequel, or saying things like "we can't just bring in the emperor as a villain, that's stupid, and anyway the last film ended by firmly establishing kylo ren as the new villain --- what can we spin that into?" etc. etc.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:42 (one week ago) link

It just seems insane to me to decide at the start "we're going to go make a 3-movie trilogy where each movie is by a different director and not have planned out a story ahead of time."

It's like "DC Challenge: The Movie"

Piven After Midnight (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:00 (one week ago) link

dr c has it nailed i think

also the acting is really bad, and i sympathise given the dialogue and the lack of any discernible character but at the same time, the acting is reaaaalllly bad

the scene where finn meets the other runaway storm trooper, if that was fifth year drama youd bust in halfway through with a "whats wrong with you? start that again"

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:21 (one week ago) link

xpost in theory it could be way better than having things too tightly-constructed and just be filling in some master outline --- it's good to be able to pause and see what popped in the first film, where the energy is, which character dynamics are clicking. i think they just blew it on the pausing. even johnson i think kinda missed the boat a little by not really developing one of the strongest threads from TFA, the finn/rey relationship, though i liked everything else he did with those characters.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:22 (one week ago) link

i think TFA is hugely overpraised tbh

rogue one otoh is a legitimately excellent action movie

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:23 (one week ago) link

even johnson i think kinda missed the boat a little by not really developing one of the strongest threads from TFA, the finn/rey relationship

agree with this, tho i know where johnson was coming from, echoing the separate-missions-until-they-converge-at-the-climax structure of empire strikes back.

ooga booga-ing for the bourgeoisie (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:27 (one week ago) link

uh of the two towers

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:28 (one week ago) link

TFA has some serious issues (mainly everything to do with the bad guys and their Death Planet), but it's got momentum and energy and really really charismatic characters (IMHO). i've grumbled enough about rogue one on the appropriate threads - it doesn't work for me at all as an action movie or as a heist/mission/war/whatever movie. still arguably the best-looking one of these, apart from some of the TLJ sequences.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:31 (one week ago) link

xp not all the plots converge in the two towers!

ooga booga-ing for the bourgeoisie (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:33 (one week ago) link

I was about to say.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:35 (one week ago) link

TFA definitely had more going for it visually than this did. plus it actually breathed on occasion

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 19:51 (one week ago) link

I get the entire giant room full of shadowy figures concept, but with one of the major complaints with digital projection at theaters being bad reproduction of darker scenes, why the fuck did they choose to do *that*

I wonder how many theaters had people complaining about the projection quality only for the staff to have to explain, no, it's really supposed to be nondescript and dark

absolute idiot liar uneducated person (mh), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 20:13 (one week ago) link

It just seems insane to me to decide at the start "we're going to go make a 3-movie trilogy where each movie is by a different director and not have planned out a story ahead of time."

It's like "DC Challenge: The Movie"

I appreciate this reference but it is also like "Star Wars," the original trilogy

Dollarmite Is My Name (sic), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 20:21 (one week ago) link

jrrsplaining itt smdh

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 20:25 (one week ago) link

Eh, only technically, there is a very big difference in that George Lucas was working on all three of them, whereas there really was supposed to be a new guiding artistic vision on each of the three new ones. Or, 'vision'...

Frederik B, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 20:41 (one week ago) link

each movie was by a different director, and Lucas didn't have a story planned out ahead of time.

Dollarmite Is My Name (sic), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 20:53 (one week ago) link

xp i hate richard e grant

― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 22:01 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

^^^the correct position, get a grip ppl he's bad not good

mark s, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 21:21 (one week ago) link

no

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 21:37 (one week ago) link

he's great when he's good but he kinda sucked in this, mainly because the character as written is terrible

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 21:42 (one week ago) link

Lucas planned the first story, and he stayed on to plan out the rest of them. It's not like Richard Marquand could go in and say 'actually, I've always wanted Obi-wan to be Luke's father!'

Frederik B, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 21:43 (one week ago) link

good things with terrible ham REG being entertaining in them: Withnail & I, How To Get Ahead In Advertising, The Player, karaoke, Cold Lazarus, Franz Kafka's It's A Wonderful Life, Spice World, Doctor Who: The Curse Of Fatal Death (1999), Gosford Park, Can You Ever Forgive Me, his first book, the 2008 Sydney production of My Fair Lady

bad things with REG elevating them via energetic hammery: Hudson Hawk, Pret-A-Porter

good & bad things that he kinda sucks in: Henry & June, Jack & Sarah, Frasier, Doctor Who: The Time Of The Doctor (2013)

Dollarmite Is My Name (sic), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 21:52 (one week ago) link

Karaoke, not karaoke, though I bet he would be fun at it

Lucas planned the first story, and he stayed on to plan out the rest of them.

JJ Abrams planned the first story, and the Lucasfilm Story Group stayed on to supervise the rest of them. Striking denials are making the analogy become more powerful!

Dollarmite Is My Name (sic), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 21:55 (one week ago) link

spice world is good i agree (tho he is annoying in it), can't really agree abt any of the rest of that list (some of which i haven't seen tbf and never will: gosford park? just no)

english ppl always suck in us sitcoms, it's the law

mark s, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 21:57 (one week ago) link

I'm trying to think of a better exception than...Peter Serafinowicz in Parks & Rec if that counts

nashwan, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 22:06 (one week ago) link

Sic, Lucas doing the first and helping to do the rest is not the same as Abrams doing the first and some others helping to do the rest and it's really weird you can't see that...

Frederik B, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 22:26 (one week ago) link

It's okay, enjoy your goalpost.

Dollarmite Is My Name (sic), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 22:30 (one week ago) link

Dude

Frederik B, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 22:33 (one week ago) link

I believe "Lucas planning the first" was referring to A New Hope

The LucasFilm story group has explained on multiple occasions that they're there to answer questions, point out glaring backstory issues (like if someone says Leia's from Yavin or something), and catalogue all of the new characters/locations/etc. They have as much story direction and veto power as the director and the producers give them, that's about it.

It's not like Richard Marquand could go in and say 'actually, I've always wanted Obi-wan to be Luke's father!'

iirc Leigh Brackett came up with that plot point and it was ok'ed by Lucas. He gets a lot of credit for the broad strokes of the story, but they were... very broad.

absolute idiot liar uneducated person (mh), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:09 (one week ago) link

it mostly comes down to Lucas being a hands-on producer for eps 4-6 and lucking into decent writers and hiring directors who were very much pros that were there to keep the ship going in the right direction while keeping a high level of craft

I feel like there wasn't a firm hand on the till, although with Disney nudging Kennedy and all the market forces of the modern era in the mix it's a tricky job. Lucas basically had sole proprietorship

absolute idiot liar uneducated person (mh), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:14 (one week ago) link

of those things that are meant to be good, only gosford parkn is good and none of that is because of richard e grant

of those things that are not good, none of them are improved by richard e grant

the english malkovich, the english spacey. talk slow and someone will fall for it.

if you cant move your fuckin face youre not a fuckin actor

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:16 (one week ago) link

all fair, but the qualification for commanding an Imperial force is that you have to sound like a prick and do it with an English accent iirc

absolute idiot liar uneducated person (mh), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:19 (one week ago) link

surprised but not shocked that you hate The Player (1992), would not be surprised if you love The Game (1997)

Ralph McQuarrie is the author of the original trilogy

Dollarmite Is My Name (sic), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:20 (one week ago) link

WTF Richard Grant is great I will not hear this

akm, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:21 (one week ago) link

xp fair take imo

absolute idiot liar uneducated person (mh), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:21 (one week ago) link

that is quality work sic

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:21 (one week ago) link

I feel like there wasn't a firm hand on the till, although with Disney nudging Kennedy and all the market forces of the modern era in the mix it's a tricky job

yeah there were clearly a lot more chefs puttering about in the kitchen on these movies than on the others and it shows. unlike with the marvel movies which emit a consistent grey slush due to hypercompetent management and the DC movies which are all over the place in an occasionally fun or somewhat interesting way because of...I guess a mix of Snyder's psychosis and a wackier batch of characters. IX was just deeply inept, misconceived and rushed really. it really is something how much better-sounding the movie Trevorrow wanted to make was based on the synopsis, I suspect it would still have been visually bleh tho

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Thursday, 26 March 2020 01:41 (one week ago) link

Richard E. Grant is wonderful in Can You Ever Forgive Me?, and clearly he was hired for this farrago to bring malicious fey Britishes to a ghost role.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 26 March 2020 01:49 (one week ago) link

I was thinking Herzog would have been fun for that but they cast him in that other thing instead.

brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Thursday, 26 March 2020 01:51 (one week ago) link

terrible decision to halve domhnall in order to foreground yet another nothing character

also, was it left open as to whether reg was in fact a deep rebel agent, because i insist that it was

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2020 01:51 (one week ago) link


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