itt create your own Jurassic Park sequel pitch

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Jurassic Park 6: Jurassic World Part 3

A reanimated Dennis Nedry is now a dilophosaur/human hybrid and he arrives in Shreveport looking for work. He is told dinosaurs cannot legally work in the US.

The movie is about his landmark SCOTUS case (which he loses). He is killed as the credits are rolling (hit by a train)

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Saturday, 9 November 2019 22:20 (two years ago) link

The Saudi royals build a Jurassic Park but the workers end up training the dinosaurs to help them overthrow the government.

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Saturday, 9 November 2019 22:47 (two years ago) link

Jurassic World Part 4

A secret cabal of dinosaurs takes over the world's media and banking systems. Mel Gibson plays a herpetologist determined to uncover the truth.

Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 November 2019 22:49 (two years ago) link

jurassic pork: the dinosaurs are h*rny

i'm not a government man; i'm a government, man. (m bison), Saturday, 9 November 2019 22:51 (two years ago) link

jurassic farm. dinosaurs sense their time earth is limited and quickly shift their economy towards regenerative agriculture.

i'm not a government man; i'm a government, man. (m bison), Saturday, 9 November 2019 22:53 (two years ago) link

Dinosaur-asteroid hybrids use the butterfly effect to seize the world's amber resources so as to prevent the cloning of Mr. DNA.

jmm, Saturday, 9 November 2019 22:55 (two years ago) link

Jurassic War

Enraged after being taunted as "boomers" by a group of visiting teens, a group of dinos escape the confines of their park and indulge in a feast of millennial-chomping savagery.

Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 November 2019 22:58 (two years ago) link

Jurassic Fam

A group of enraged velociraptors devour Unai Emery live on Arsenal Fan TV

Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 November 2019 23:00 (two years ago) link

Jurassic State

An adaptation of 'State of Fear' but all the environmentalists are also velociraptors.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 9 November 2019 23:23 (two years ago) link

Jurassic Twins

Indominus rex and Danny Devito are twins

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 9 November 2019 23:26 (two years ago) link

Jurassic Popes

They use some dna from Pope Francis to fill in the missing chromosomes from some 80 million year old T-rex soft tissue sample and create a colony of 20 foot tall apex predators who privately deny their own physical resurrection and the existence of hell and refuse to eat any humans on good friday.

calzino, Sunday, 10 November 2019 01:59 (two years ago) link

I kinda wanna greenlight that one

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Sunday, 10 November 2019 02:02 (two years ago) link

Jurassicstein - One of the dinosaurs attempts to create a dinosaur from dead dinosaur corpses and it comes to life and integrate it into society. The dinosaur is cared for by a blind man who teaches it to read Milton. The dinosaur becomes intelligent.

It then goes to Boston but keeps eating everybody whenever it feels the conversation is getting banal

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Sunday, 10 November 2019 02:05 (two years ago) link

I have never seen a jurassic park movie and this is my new favorite thread

Οὖτις, Sunday, 10 November 2019 02:12 (two years ago) link

Jurassic Attraction

For Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas), life is good. He is on the rise at his New York law firm, is happily married to his wife, Beth (Anne Archer), and has a loving daughter. But, after a casual fling with a sultry dilophosaurus named Alex, everything changes. Jilted by Dan, Alex becomes enraged, her behavior escalating from aggressive pursuit through the undergrowth to unfurling her frills and spitting poison in his face.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 16:57 (two years ago) link

Cambrian Park

A team of geneticists bring the trilobite back to life and then struggle to secure a bank loan to buy a dilapidated strip mall on the outskirts of town which is just the right size to house the moderately-sized trilobite sanctuary of their dreams. An amusing side plot features a trio of revived trilobites trying to make sense of their strange new world as they stumble around the lead geneticist's apartment (in a building with a strict no-pets policy owned by an increasingly-suspicious landlord).

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:15 (two years ago) link

Jurassic Park 11: JuraCyborgs

A team of hackers hack into the shuttered servers where all of the Jurassic Park genetic data is stored and begin downloading the vast store of information. In the midst of the transfer, an electrical storm hits the internet and reroutes the data to a nearby indoor animatronic dinosaur attraction, thereby infusing the robotic dinos with the life essence and primal memories of the genetically-encoded dinosaurs. It makes for quite a fearsome scene at first until observers realize that the robodinos' range of movement is severely limited by their servos and also the fact that they're bolted to the floor. The public seems to be in no danger but to be on the safe side, one rogue employee burns the dinosaur attraction to the ground.

Jurassic Park 12: JuraCyborgs 2: JuraCyborgs ReBorged

The film opens with the digital genetic ghosts of the deceased dinos rising from the charred animatronic remains in which they were briefly housed only to begin possessing pedestrian household appliances like blenders and vacuum cleaners and causing them to malfunction in ways that no repairman can explain.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:35 (two years ago) link

lmao

i'm not a government man; i'm a government, man. (m bison), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:37 (two years ago) link

I expect shooting scripts guys!

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:41 (two years ago) link

serious answer: just flash forward to the distant future and do Planet of the Apes but with dinosaurs

Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:44 (two years ago) link

And like the dinosaurs are wearing people clothes and living in cities like our own but just scaled up to suit their gargantuan size...except the dinosaurs are no more intelligent than the dinosaurs we know and they're still just roaring and thrashing, like just launching through plate glass windows and shredding their nice suits and top hats in the process.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:46 (two years ago) link

If I were given an enormous CGI budget, I would make a feature-length version of this but with dinosaurs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7w25SK0gRU

...intentionally making them move all herky-jerky and awkward as if gigantic humans were manipulating their movements.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:49 (two years ago) link

That might be the funniest idea I've ever had.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:49 (two years ago) link

Make it a stealth prequel to the old ABC sitcom Dinosaurs. It was the future all along!

Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:50 (two years ago) link

X-post

Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:50 (two years ago) link

Jokerassic Park

A socially awkward Saurophaganax dreams of becoming a stand-up comedian but retreats into a world of violent fantasy as his dream unravels. CGI "de-aging" technology allows Robert de Niro to play the 150 million year old Allosaur who becomes the subject of his twisted obsession.

The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:52 (two years ago) link

The King Tyrant Lizard of Comedy

Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 17:53 (two years ago) link

Geriassic Park

After thrilling generations of moviegoers with their countless adventures in a world they never made, the titular stars of the popular Jurassic Park franchise reunite one last time to celebrate their twilight years with style...and more than a few laughs! Stumpy the Triceratops has been forced into early retirement from the Park, and he's not about to take it lying down! With the rest of the old gang you know and love, he forms a plan to turn the Park upside down and inside out! But he never reckoned on opposition from the Velocirappers, a hot new group of dinosaurs taking the Park by storm who will do anything to stick it to the older generation! With the future of the Jurassic Pack in the balance, an impromptu surfing contest will decide which dinos remain a star attraction..and which will be all wet! It's a romp for the whole family, filled with the warmth, joy, and conservative Christian values audiences have come to expect.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 19:17 (two years ago) link

Jurassic Park: Armed and Dangerous

Emboldened geneticist breed yet another T. Rex variant, except this time instead of stumpy little dinosaur arms they give them more proportional, long-reaching arms, making them much more efficient destroyers of properties, eaters of people and (teased) players of baseball.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 12 November 2019 20:04 (two years ago) link

These guys have the right idea:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6F8ShB9ZOM

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 12 November 2019 20:04 (two years ago) link

Jurassic Weapon

An aging diplodocus has just purchased a condo in the Live Forever Dinosaur Retirement Community in South Florida and is looking forward to leaving his life at Jurassic Park behind when an alcoholic Nazi T-Rex abruptly shows up in his pen and drags him off on a drunken bender. They engage in a variety of hijinks - uncovering a drug smuggling plot, re-enacting the crucifixion, and grafting a talking beaver onto the T Rex's paw - before the diplodocus finally decides he's too old for this shit and pushes the T Rex into a woodchipper.

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 12 November 2019 20:15 (two years ago) link

Jurasslin' Park

All of your favorite wrestlers-turned-actors strap into mocap suits to portray your favorite dinosaurs wrasslin' it up in an oversized ring. It's literally just an hour-and-a-half of dinosaurs wrestling.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 20:24 (two years ago) link

Jurassic n Furious

A ragtag group of daredevil Dinosaurs harvest the hyper-compressed remains of their ancestors to power a world-destroying fleet of vehicles. Traveling at high speeds through a seemingly endless series of fantastical obstacle courses, wisecracking all the way, the dinosaurs learn important lessons about friendship, toxic masculinity, and explosions.

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 12 November 2019 20:33 (two years ago) link

Furassic Park

Two words: dinosaur furries. Can't lose.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 20:39 (two years ago) link

rex vs rex

t.rex develops a special bond with his son, billy, after his wife walks out on him. however, she returns, demanding full custody of their son ,and an emotional courtroom battle ensues.

Titanic was cliched Marxist crap. (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:04 (two years ago) link

one flew over the jurassic park

in order to escape park labour, mcmurphy, a pteranodon, fakes insanity and is shifted to the special ward for the mentally unstable. in this ward, he must rise up against a cruel nurse, indominus ratched.

Titanic was cliched Marxist crap. (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:07 (two years ago) link

Jurassiction

A human researcher longs to be reunited with his favorite T Rex from Jurrasic Park, who passed away several years ago. He invents a machine that allows him to enter the dreams of sleeping dinosaurs and uses it on some of the dinosaurs that used to know the deceased T Rex. Unfortunately, all of the dinosaurs' dream about is breaking free of their amusement park prisons and devouring their human captors; the researcher is promptly eaten.

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:11 (two years ago) link

My Dinner with Andesaurus

The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:13 (two years ago) link

Oedipusaurus Rex

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:16 (two years ago) link

No Country for Old Brontosauruses

pomenitul, Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:18 (two years ago) link

The Sauropodfather

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:23 (two years ago) link

Ken Park

pomenitul, Tuesday, 12 November 2019 21:27 (two years ago) link

Dude! Where's My Carnitaurus?

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 02:01 (two years ago) link

six months pass...

Jurassic Snark - 2 hours of Dennis Miller being chased by a triceratops before it finally steps on him and caves his skull in

genital giant (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 May 2020 02:22 (two years ago) link

Slow cinema

silby, Thursday, 14 May 2020 02:25 (two years ago) link

eh if this lousy dino ain’t a poor man’s rex griffin flippin’ wooden nickels in the back seat of a french jalopy watchin “his girl friday” dubbed into bad ukranian and suckin cheap imitation black licorice like a sleepy anatole france in muggsy spanier pantaloons i mean ah bap bapAAaaaaAaaaGGGhhhhhhhhh

budo jeru, Thursday, 14 May 2020 03:02 (two years ago) link

six months pass...

Swing Vote 2: Jurassic World 3: Jurassic Park 6 - yet another election is deadlocked and requires Kevin Costner to break the tie. on his way to the voting booth, he is eaten by 5 different dinosaurs who have escaped from the previous movie. the dinosaurs are then given the right to vote, as 5 is an odd number and will break the tie.

then, a dinosaur dies. the four voters then split the vote 2-2.

who will break the tie?

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 8 December 2020 06:18 (one year ago) link

one year passes...

Jurassic Stark, a Marvel tie-in where Iron Man himself is resurrected with dino DNA.

He's just as smart as before, but now 100 feet tall and hongrehhh

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 May 2022 21:39 (one week ago) link


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