Canceling Ellen and the NFL: QUEER FALL of 2019

Thanks luv enjoy!

I’m going to smoke up and have sex for hours with a perfect man and tell him I love him afterward and cuddle him all night with the messy results all around us and make him breakfast in the morning while listening to Debussy

Speaking of Franch composers I extremely practiced the Franck sonata today in the hopes that we might one day play it together

Dan Savage is a huge asshole and supported the Gulf War

if Morbs starts cancelling ppl for being huge assholes, we’re living in a world nobody can recognise

(he recanted his 2002 gulf war support later, but is dumb/blinkered on politics & (incidentally) extremely bad on labor generally)

It was slightly terrifying to me, too. I was out for dinner the next night with a gay couple (who were squarer than I anticipated) and I joked that I'd picked up eight distinct STIs at the sex club the night before. "Can't wait to get home to get 'em all checked out!" They were not amused, and I was later told this comment soured the mood of the dinner party. Ennh. Whatever. I did feel somewhat "what if?" afterward but I came back 100% clean. I don't think I'll ever go into that environment again unless a partner desires for it. I myself would probably enjoy an audience in that scenario, but sex-with-anons has been tried and vetoed.

I did hook-up with a distant acquaintance about a month ago. He asked me afterward "so, do you have any STIs I should know about" and I said "I get cold sores" and he said "lol stop bragging" and I laughed, that's a disarmingly nice response.

― that said, I’d prefer a single serving of you (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, November 20, 2019 10:27 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

um that is so stupid//i'm offended for you

wait so should i post the stuff about last night here or in tmi lol

Both!

I dont know much about Dan Savage but I do know that I despise "It Gets Better." I don't think it's at all inspiring to tell young people their situations will improve but only once they drastically change huge parts of their lives.

Either! xpost.

It doesn’t so much get better as much as one’s expectations get worse.

WELL. i had a real good time tbh. like the whole experience was very interesting to me. i was roaming around naked which tbh was hard for me but whatever. and my buddy had to really lead me around and show me the ropes. there was some showering, some soaking, some swimming with Hennessy margaritas. it was a nice place. then i wound up in the steam room with a bunch of guys and my friend and i found one really cute guy who was definitely packing. we ended up going at it for a while and he wound up with a mouthful from both of us standing over him in a cloud of steam. super fun to have an audience, i've always enjoyed that. so yes, would recommend.

o_O feel v exposed rn but i know this is a safe space!

yay!!

those saunas are HOT tho, my face felt like it was going to burn off
i liked the ice sauna!!!!

haha yeah it's like do i want more sex or do i really just want some water

never did saunas, just dank lofts or basements (with showers)

hot to cold immersion is good for your immune system and circulation while having other good times.

for sure, i love temperature therapy

I get hot reading this thread

tbh i get hot typing in it

so i've gotten into this new thing, and bear with me bc it's kind of embarrassing. i've become one of those people who gets into like a jo buddy situation. you know like i don't even need to do anything else. is that so stupid?

sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't

i think jacking off with someone is surprisingly intimate because you get to see someone do this thing that they spend so much time doing alone. so not stupid.

also: handjobs. they can be really good.

i love doing the cold plunge/sauna right after the really hot sauna, followed by just lying/sitting for a few minutes. feels so nice.

one of the k-town spas in LA is notoriously cruisy. the last time i went there the staff had to ask some of the guys to leave the steam room because it was too crowded lol

Well, the thing I said would happen did exactly happen. How often is this too much? It’s like three times a day and a part of me (the end part) is curious if there is a limit to my love

It certainly hasn’t stopped being fantastiche every time
Just trying to also stay healthy as well as happy

“Well fgti you can take it up the ass up to 17 times within a 24 hour stretch *cough* without any long-term concerns” thanks Coach

ive never been big on penetration

(go ahead, I can take your punchlines)

i think jacking off with someone is surprisingly intimate because you get to see someone do this thing that they spend so much time doing alone. so not stupid.

― cheese canopy (map), Friday, November 22, 2019

I like this post a lot

so i've gotten into this new thing, and bear with me bc it's kind of embarrassing. i've become one of those people who gets into like a jo buddy situation. you know like i don't even need to do anything else. is that so stupid?

― surm, Friday, November 22, 2019 1:08 PM

also like this post

hafta say my technique changes substantially when there's someone there

Few things are more enervating than a gay bar at which the patrons linger in the hopes of not having to hit on anyone as terrible music blasts

as they stare into their phones

hi y'all

YO

hi alfred :D

cloudzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm in that awkward phase where i've changed my grindr picture and i'm wondering how ppl will react
i gotta show a little leg in it though, i find those are more successful than pure face

I've become one of those people whose Grindr photo is now something like 3 years old.

omg so was mine!

i kind of look like Jesus in the new one but i think i'm ok with it

My Grindr photo is me staring at the camera with concern and my finger is in my nose. Very popular choice, I think it makes it clear that I'm "into nasal"

LOL

I was very high last night and said “I’m a bank teller and every day your dick comes into my branch and deposits $2k”

Lol
One time when i was younger and I dressed in my aunt's clothes
I creeped AOL and pretended I was a bank teller named Veronica
And entered a relationship with a 32-year old man who lived in Arizona
It was a formative time

That scans like a David Berman lyric

Arizona left me for a man who came from Tampa
He left behind his rescue and a box of cherry soda
The puppy was three-legged and he pissed all on the sofa
The soda cleaned the urine and left a sickly aroma
It was a formative time

Veronica retired and I became a girl named Betty
Betty was a brunette and she hooked out on the jetty
The sailors laid good pipe but they'd only tip a twenty
I saved up, bought a Dell and I started boarding heavy
It was a formative time

those are rly good

Ah this isn't gay or anything, maybe it is? It isn't. Last week I was in my group chat and the dude who writes the lyrics for the band Fucked Up said he was sitting at Whole Foods feeling uninspired in his writing and I offered the following.

People think they're getting their foods... WHOLE
Organic produce won't give you a... SOUL
Quit your job, tell your boss to eat your... POLE
This is a tasty cinnamon... ROLL

When I'm shopping at Whole... FOODS
This yuppie scum can get awful... RUDE
They try to X me out with their atti... TUDE
The muffins, gotta say, they are pretty... GOOD

The salad buffet is the fuckin'... JAM
But I'm not gonna give my money to the... MAN
Dinosaur kale and purple... YAMS
I hide 'em in my pants, my crucial... SCAM

Uh oh, here come the organic... PIGS
They saw me lifting cheese and imported... FIGS
I hit the ground running, when they zag, I... ZIG
Scored a fancy rider, on to the... GIG

Now I'm chowing down at the hardcore... SHOW
Fancy fucking lettuce and peas of... SNOW
Dip 'em in the hummus, that's how I... GO
Ben n Jerry's in the pit, flavour: cookie... DOUGH

Now Fucked Up dude and I have decided to write a kid's album called "Scams From The Grocery Store", like a beginner's guide to petty theft. Song titles include: "Free Food", "Every Day's Your Birthday", and "Toys R Yrs"

What If... Young Money invented rap?