Lads, it's the Premier League thread - EPL 2019/20

Pretty sure they'd still fuck it up even if they had the money

Wd Bonesaw their own mothers for a Carabao cup win these fuckers

Steve Bruce in shades and a white suit signing Connor Wickham for £90 million as a gesture of might

Joelinton's current return of £20 million per goal definitely contributed to their excellent season

https://www.change.org/p/boris-johnson-an-independent-investigation-into-the-epl-takeover-process

Many signatures, many choice lines

Attempting to derail wor signing of Edinson Cavani with the slur that wor owners "did 9/11" is the latest in a long line of sinister actions by external actors seeking to maliciously undermine Newcastle United Football Club

, Bruce told BBC Sport

Well, aside from Newcastle acting like a spoiled toddler, it looks like the Second City Derby is back on. Even though my club seemed at times to be trying their hardest to get relegated throughout most of this season, I've learned you support your club no matter how awful they are. The fan discussion seems to be centered around the new athletic director Johan Lange and hopes are high he'll be a better one than the man he replaced, as well as which players should be replaced. Of course we're all holding out hope fan favorite Jack Grealish hangs around for another season and we all support Tyrone Mings no matter what, but our club is definitely going to have to try harder next season, not only to make sure they don't just scrape by like they did this season but also to show up those Baggies.

Avoiding relegation was a pleasant surprise, but we'd have been down if Watford hadn't voluntarily and inexplicably imploded. Jury's still very out on Dean Smith but I guess the game management and inability to beat top half teams did kind of improve with dramatic effect in those last four games so I guess give him 200 mil to spend and sack him after eight games if we're not in the "Champions League" places

didn't realise you were Villa dee

i can't see Smith being up to the job even in the crazy world of lockdown football but then who would they replace him with? plus, you stay up, you kind of deserve at least a shot at next season

i don't actively hate West Brom and i do have a soft spot for Slaven but they've got relegation stamped all over them

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/aug/01/eddie-howe-leaves-relegated-bournemouth-by-mutual-consent

poor Eddie

I was thinking it was weird to see two relegated managers keep their jobs but I'd always thought Eddie Howe would stay. I dunno, could be a Charlton type tailspin in the offing unless they have a really good idea of who to replace him with.

unlike us they're fucken minted russia-style

overrated as fuck imo, he took them down with a bigger wage bill than Villa, Wolves, Brighton, Newcastle Utd, Sheff Utd, that isn't any kind of achievement to put on your cv!

don't know who oversees the transfers at Bournemouth but Solanke was a hell of a decision

I hear that Howe is being lined up for the Liverpool job.

Ticket collector on the Mersey ferry?

Yes. Just a rumour at the moment but my sources are pretty reliable.

Inter Milan won’t pay any fee to Manchester United for Alexis Sanchez. He will sign a three-years contract with the Italian side: done deal. @DiMarzio #MUFC

— Francesco Porzio (@fraporzio95) August 3, 2020

deal of the century imo

If ManU don't immediately shell out the same insane salary for Sancho, that is.

it'll pay for a few instalments of the transfer free for sure

BVB-Star liegt United-Vertrag mit XXL-Gehalt vor! https://www.bild.de/bild-plus/sport/fussball/fussball/bvb-jadon-sancho-mit-manchester-united-einig-72211096,view=conversionToLogin.bild.html

According to Bild he'll be earning £ 300.000 a week.

Pierre-Emile Højbjerg to Tottenham is now one step away to become a done deal. Personal terms agreed and last details between clubs then it’ll be completed. €17M to Southampton.

Inter still in talks with Spurs for Ndombele - but the agreement is not even close yet ⚪️ #THFC https://t.co/vUs0qviRJ8

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 4, 2020

An honest to god defensive midfielder, not a repurposed CB or box-to-box player, I never thought this day would come. With the exception of one season's worth of Wanyama it was a problem position for basically the entire Poch era. Might give Ndombele a platform to play properly, assuming we keep him.

Fulham and West Brom back in the prem pic.twitter.com/uWQQrNOocU

— Billie (@Billie_T) August 4, 2020

Man United captain Harry Maguire was detained for questioning on the Greek island of Mykonos for assaulting officers after a brawl, Greek state TV ERT said: https://t.co/aWvfXTm2eD pic.twitter.com/pKvHz4wYOx

— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) August 21, 2020

Kai Havertz to Chelsea, one step away and then... here we go! Total agreement to be reached on nest hours with Bayer Leverkusen. Last bid is going to be accepted. €80M + €20M add ons as final fee. Last details and paperworks time. 🔵 #CFC #Havertz #Chelsea

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 24, 2020

Chelsea aren't fucking about

if we can get Maitland-Niles that will be a smart signing

Feels so weird that we are weeks away from a new season

i know, and i'm not sure restarting to empty stadiums is gonna improve the quality any

Community Shield is on Saturday!

no way :O

i was waiting for September to start a new Prem thread, nobody really cares about the Community Shield anyway i guess

I need sport of some kind, cos otherwise my weekends are dire.

My boys in Orlando just signed a Watford player lolol

i know, i miss the football when it's not here

don't recognise the Watford lad, not sure he ever played for them in the Prem

He didn't, think he was on loan in second div

Which means in our pathetic league he'll probably start

Idly wondering how many players actively prefer it without any fans there. They're unlikely to be back for basically the entire season as far as I can tell.

Some of them are probably used to crowd silence. I'm sure Fulham will have warm memories of it this year

it probably works for some players but the quality and the intensity is reduced i think because psychologically it must be so different. i think there'll be spectators in before Christmas, but socially distanced to the extent it'll still be weird, and whether that experiment survives whatever spike we've got to look forward to god knows

It's not even how it looks on TV, I'm fine with that, but the socially distanced match day, without the usual rituals around that, it just feels like a joyless proposition.

I'm really missing the dialogue between the players and a stadium of fans. Even the champions League final felt halfway like a friendly.

MLS is opening up games to small handfuls of fans, and this could be humorous. Just remembering pre-pandemic, a few years ago when a bunch of douches were harassing Tim Howard at a Colorado match and he loudly told them "go fuck your mother".

Harry Maguire found GUILTY of aggravated assault, resisting arrest, and repeated attempts of bribery.

— Martha Kelner (@marthakelner) August 25, 2020

lol that didn't take long

Andy Carroll with a timely reminder that he is the greatest striker England has ever produced pic.twitter.com/ZVslHlTBq8

— FootballJOE (@FootballJOE) August 25, 2020

“Do you know who I am? I am very rich, I can give you money,”

“I am the leader of Manchester United”

already enjoying the commentary from experts on the Greek legal system on Twitter